There are two kinds of people in the world: green banana or brown banana

what? yellow. wtf?

No middle ground! Only green!

Everybody who votes brown banana better be a Drosophila melanogaster.

brown, even if they are 'worse' for you

ugh even thinking about brown bananas ugggggggghhhhh

it's brown-side of yellow vs green-side of yellow, really

green bananas are great if you love cellulose and are a mother fucking ruminant. brown for all time.

there is no such thing as a yellow banana

they literally do not actually exist

I have some bananas at home that are still green but already going brown

I didn't even know that could happen?

answer is brown btw

people who vote brown are basically already rotting in hell

yeah, id rather have brown than green -- green makes me feel awful

ba-na-na

Mmmm brown, when they start getting that over-sweet alcoholic smell.

green have a claggy mouth feel

ppl who put bananas up their noses vs ppl who put bananas up their butts

Which category does Raffi fall under?

green ones have no flavor. brown ones have xtra flavor, and if they're too mushy to eat on their own, you can put them in pie etc.

is that a new Fox reality show, Dan?

don't throw the brown ones out just freeze them for when you're ready to bake a loaf of nutritious banana bread

green have a claggy mouth feel

― stofu (cozen), Thursday, June 17, 2010 9:06 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

and im not even sure i know what claggy means!

eating green bananas puts me off bananas for weeks. Brown bananas, I can accept it's just a single bad one. Also, a wee bit of brown - DELICIOUS, a wee bit of green - NOT DELICIOUS.

although I initially read this as being metaphorical, like people who are green bananas rush into things and people who are brown bananas leave them till too late.

i thought at first this was an erection thing

recipe for brown banana

mix equal parts elmers school paste and powdered sugar. once mixture reaches desired consistency, rub a 3 day old dead rat on it. serves one.

Saying a brown banana works well in a banana bread is not a defense, imo – baking powder is part of banana bread, too, but I don't just sit around eating that by the teaspoon.

as green as they get, for me. the thought of eating a brown banana makes me gag a little.

i didn't know other people had that problem, or had the opposite problem

yeah but it would be a relevant point if the argument was "does baking powder suck?" xp

For just eating straight, yes! Just like brown bananas.

would rather eat baking powder than a green banana

Sugar over starch for me.

I have some bananas at home that are still green but already going brown
I didn't even know that could happen?

Supposedly if they've been kept cold (frozen or slightly above) while green they never go yellow, just straight to brown. I dunno if this is true but the food deliveries to my work have ice-cold bananas which seem to go brown while still partially green.

Given a choice I always go for the green one and then it is all woody and musty-tasting and full of stringy bits which stick to my teeth and I wish I'd gone for a brown banana, which usually taste fine but they just don't look appetising. Damn my inability to learn from experience.

brown banana >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> baking powder >>> green banana

imo

Generally ripe fruit is nicer than unripe fruit.

Green bananas and baking powder are actually pretty similar tastes now I think about it

i dont think you can grow either kind of banana in the city tho so you dont get to vote xxpost

i hate brown bananas and brown bananas strings.

Green tastes like my reptillian inner brain is telling me to spit it out. Brown all the way!

And don't get me started on plantains...

Lol

good point...truthfully I only eat subway rats and sidewalk weeds and I don't really remember what fruit tastes like xp

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Di1HzTLtBlM/R71dgO_FcmI/AAAAAAAAC8k/44NzEq-pz_c/s400/banana-smoking.jpg

^ is this thing 4 real?

see now the brown banana pref makes sense xpost

http://ic2.pbase.com/u40/pnd1/medium/40189595.Smoke.jpg

^stock photo of teenage school boy urban myth, I think
xps

I'm green/yellow colorblind so for years I was eating green bananas hoping they were yellow. So traumatizing. I learned to tell which are truly green by how thick and firm the skin feels, and now that goes on my resume.

I would rather smoke brown btw

http://i.imgur.com/eA1Da.png

surely that's some african country's flag

I read that the smoking banana peels legend got started by Country Joe & the Fish, who for whatever reason had a hypothesis that dried banana peel wld have THC in it. So they had dried some peels & decided to try it out...shortly after they'd dropped acid (& apparently forgotten they'd done so)? This confusion of multiple druggy factors lead them to share it as a tidbit for hallucinatory success to their audience at concerts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFDOI24RRAE

Yeah, some sort of banana republic xxp

green, please. it's the texture of brown ones i can't stand.

I thought it came about as a hoax perpetrated on the squares. x-post

Books are never wrong!

Especially books about drugs apocrypha.

if they're too mushy to eat on their own, you can put them in pie etc.

There's this awesome banana bread recipe that uses over-ripe bananas that just keeps getting more awesome if you leave it for a day before eating it.

imagine how good it might get after a month, brown banana eaters!

(hahah btw my username is not a response to yours)

however i do enjoy writing on the skin of green bananas with a blunt stylus so the letters turn brown

A&J

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lf2Pkxtivs
(3:23)

claggy

Green bananas taste like they're almost poisonous to eat.

so lets say there's a scale - a barely edible unripe banana is 0 and a perfectly ripe banana is 5 and a barely edible brown banana is 10

surely the brown people would rather eat a 6 than a 4, but how many would rather eat a 9 than a 4?

(+ the same, reverse for green)

I'll take a 9 over a 2

every time

some serious neglect to let a banana go to 9 tho

anything above 6 = poison

and anything below 2.5

my range = 4 to 8.5 I think

anything below 5= wrong

I had to vote green b/c no yellow-slightly-green. Super green bananas are kindof ick, sort of powdery and crunchy and pretty tasteless.

I guess my range is 4-5. Above 5 and I start getting squirmy.

but UGH brown banana. they collapse in your hand and they reek. barf.

ya but would you take a 10 over a 4 is the question xp

well 9 was my first question but since you're hardcore you get 10v4

if it feels mushy in the peel, i'll just toss it out. if forced to pick between that level of ripe and anything under a 4, I'd choose the overripe but I'd have to mix it into yogurt or something.

I wouldn't take a 10 over a 4, no fronting, but I'd take a 10 over a 1

wth is a 1 anyway? banana seed? and a 10? mushy banana in the bottom of ur bin?

hmm tree bark or rotting garbage... i'd still go with tree bark

limits of edibility! xp

Bananas & custard is best with slightly overripe bananas, so that you still have some of the firmness, but there's also enough of the overripe flavour to cut through the custard.

green

make cakes/bread with the brown

As long as they don't taste of mold I'll go with the 10 over maybe a 3. I suspect we'd get different definitions of level 5, though.

a 5 is like the best banana in the history of the world and eating it basically changes your life forever

i think this thread has actually made me hate all bananas forever, thanks everyone

As much as I dislike green bananas, I can't eat brown banana if the flesh of the banana has turned brown. When I buy a bunch of bananas, I have to wait a few days for them to turn yellow with brown specks. Then I have to basically eat them all in the same day or I have to throw them out. I guess I can only eat bananas when they are 6 on the 10 point scale.

Yeah I buy 2 mayyybe 3 bananas at a time cause otherwise I'd be eating 10 bananas in a 2 day span.

same, i buy few bananas often.

Same here.

xps No, I wouldn't take a 10 over a 4... completely brown ones are a bit grim. But I wouldn't enjoy the 4. I would take the 10 and put it in a banana, date & cherry loaf, tho.

My o/h HATES bananas - it's the only food he refuses to eat. The upside is I get the aforementioned BDC Loaf all to myself.

sometimes there is a crowd of fusspots at the banana section all searching for their ideal.

Fried plantain

Would Elvis have preferred the bananas in his Fried Peanut Butter & Banana sandwiches to be green or brown?

no doubt Elvis was down with the brown

4-5, ditto on the fried plantain. I hate it when the banana gets that soft, powdery surface and feels like a dead thing in yr mouth. I have a slight aversion to all bananas now tho, thanks to a take-these-pills-at-6am-with-food thing I went through for a while, for which a banana was the only thing I could contemplate eating, and the pills made me throw up.

Bananas are icky.

greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen

hate it when I buy green bananas and within one day they turn yellow and the window is over and you might as well feed them to the dogs

GREEN

green do have the claggy mouth feel and the taste of wood ... but brown is like eating some creature that died a loooong time ago and has slowly been rotting to mulch in the forest.

My wife will only eat brown bananas. I think they have to be at least 4/5s brown before she'll touch them. What usually happens is that I'll buy a bunch that's probably a six or seven on the scale discussed above, and still end up eating them all before they become acceptable to her (i.e. turn into slimy flytraps). "They're sweeter," she says. She's wrong.

it's amazing to be this far along in a fruit thread without harbl's resident fruit flies making an appearance.

http://www.rsub.com/thebluedot/borderequalszero/colorguide/index.html

from - http://www.rsub.com/thebluedot/borderequalszero/index_content.html

why the hell are people hating on plantains

No idea. So much more versatile than bananas (not that there's anything wrong with bananas)

it's like someone confused a plantain with a banana and have hated both ever since for their horrible betrayal

"You can freeze them and use them to make banana bread later."

I never get beyond the freezing them step, unfortunately.

No hate for the plaintain here. Fried plantains are one of my favorite favorite foods.

Mine too, my comment was about how ripe they should be before you fry them. (Answer: completely black, and if there's a little powdery white mold on the outside, so much the better!)

nickn have you ever had tostones? Double-fried green plantains with garlic and salt? They are AMAZING.

In case it wasn't clear, I also love plantains.

Never had tostones, but I'm sure I'll try them at some point now. When you let them get fully black they are sweet, so maybe garlic wouldn't be a good addition there, but less ripe would work.

The problem with eating them the way I like them is that you have to buy them 3-4 weeks before you cook them, to let them age to perfection.

http://i975.photobucket.com/albums/ae232/daggerlee/IMG_0239.jpg

Just the smell of a green banana makes me gag. The slightly crunchy texture and the grass-like taste have actually made me vomit.

BROWN BANANAS OR NOTHING.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

There are 3 very brown bananas on my kitchen counter RIGHT NOW.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Green bananas; boiled until soft amd mashed in coconut milk. With a pinch of salt and lashings of black pepper. Absolutely yummy and a perfect accompaniment to jerk pork...

I really have to make this again when I get the time...

wait do you boil IN the coconut milk or boil and then add coconut milk?

Boil in salted water, peel and then mash them in the coconut milk; add a bit of butter if you like. The best method is to chop both ends off the banana and make a slit along it, through the skin, from end to end before boiling; it makes it much easier to get the skin off. Some people advise peeling them raw, but that's a bit of a nightmare.

Boil for as long as you would potatoes (Irish potatoes that is, as my mother calls them, as opposed to sweet potatoes..)

Traditional Jamaican recipe. Your bananas have to be very green; rock hard is advisable.

in all politeness, yeah brown banana freaks you can suck it

to eat: green
to cook, in stuff, then eat: brown

omg that banana/coconut milk/jerk pork recipe so hungry

i cannot bring myself to read an entire thread about green or brown bananas but eating a green banana is like swallowing an enema, caek otm, u r all fukkin ruminants

GET OUT OF MY TOWN YOU GODDAMN ANIMAL

see brown to me sounds like swallowing the result of an enema

gbx the thread is kind of a treat though, the anti brown banana people are hilarious & crazy

in all politeness, yeah brown banana freaks you can suck it

Yeah, I think you're problem is that you are eating bananas wrong.

Uff da!

KMS OTM

eating a brown banana is like eating a turd

eh there are lots of different types of turd FYI

the thing is, no one actually EATS green or brown bananas, right...?

then what is this thread even about

just, y'know, preference.

eating a brown banana is like eating a turd

Never eaten a turd myself, but I'm skeptical that it would have even half the sweetness of a brown banana.

Two girls, one (brown) banana...

eh there are lots of different types of turd FYI

― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Wednesday, June 30, 2010 2:18 PM (1 hour ago)

ok this has inspired me to find a common ground, i will take all the green bananas, and you brown banana aficianados can have all of the brown bananas and turds you can eat.

What about us No Banana people?

We have No Bananas?

Yes?

We don't have No Bananas today

I fail to see why, if the official green banana position of Brown Bananas = turds is to be accepted, we should get both. We're already eating the turdlike bananas, why don't you green bananers eat some turd, it's obviously a big gap in ur texture sensation.

see but we already know we dont like turds tho, i was trying to help yall clarify your position on them

i hear that turds are much better if you use them for baking bread btw

very few people are actually going to eat a fully brown banana or a fully green banana

you people are indulging in unseemly grandstanding

^^ the kind of thinking we need to push the climate bill through congress

the only thing he's pushing is his ass on to a fence imo.

all the green bananas should be harvested and shot into the sun

slightly underripe bananas are gross but edible

slightly overripe bananas are tasty

green bananas and brown bananas are both "wtf are you thinking, eating that"

claiming influential mod HI DERE for the browns

darraghmac, noted ,meleon should not be trusted on this issue

he could change at any moment

nobody's talking about melons, altho they are best, imo, slightly underripe as opposed to the alternative.

Basically if I wanted that special green banana taste, I would rub a banana on piece of paper and then eat the paper

OTOH if I wanted that special brown banana taste, I would drink a bottle of banana schnapps, puke, and then eat the boozy puke.

Virtue is moderation between two extremes, ppl; get yr Maimonides on

fuuck i think that, having claimed to slightly prefer over-ripe, you could have maybe reflected that in your similes tbh

alternatively- if that's your argument for our side, i'd rather you were against us

I am saying is that in the strict dichotomy of green vs brown, green is more edible, but in the actual case of slightly underripe vs slightly overripe, there is no reason to ever eat a slightly underripe banana

you are saying that you'd rather eat puke than paper

imo

would chilling a brown banana save it from gushy grossness? somewhat?

yep

well you know nutrionally he is right xxxpost

there is also the option of throwing away your spoiled food

that's as long as you chilled it and it got brown, i dunno what letting it get brown at room temp and then chilling would achieve tbh

I am saying is that in the strict dichotomy of green vs brown, green is more edible, but in the actual case of slightly underripe vs slightly overripe, there is no reason to ever eat a slightly underripe banana

― based on logical thinking (HI DERE), Wednesday, June 30, 2010 12:29 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

someone hold me back

you are saying that you'd rather eat puke than paper

um, no I am not

assume 0 is totally green and 10 is totally brown, with 5 being perfectly ripe

I am saying bananas are edible from 3 to 7. They taste best from 5 to 7. They taste worst from 8 to 10. There are still inedible and gross from 0 to 2, just not as gross as from 8 to 10.

Ban these sick bananazis imo

he's back on the fence, does the man have no principles?

My main principle is "people who eat green or brown bananas don't understand how bananas work"

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/ft/2006/07/banana-banana/

http://www.idiomsbykids.com/taylor/mrtaylor/class20022003/idioms/idioms2003/On%20The%20Fence.jpg

if getting off the fence means being forced to eat a gross spoiled or unripe banana, I am never getting off the fence

yes i believe that the image has already sufficiently outlined your position

What is you guyses favorite sound effect denoting a brown banana being squeezed out?
I've settled on GLORP for now, but there could one day be a new champion.

you need some Aquinas in yr life, darraghmac

xp

euphemisms for farts thread?

jeez no way- fuck paying for bottled water imo

loooooooooooool

so basically this thread is T/S

http://www.traderscity.com/board/userpix1/1390-green-banana-2.jpg

VS.

http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/dpwes/images/hoarding/hoarding18.jpg

I feel that it would be a grave tactical error to let jj define the terms of the debate

more like

http://www.smilehealth.ca/images/Broken21.jpg

vs

http://osterhoutteens.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/yum.jpg

well yes the brown bananas would be easier to gum yer way through so if that is your reason for choosing them i am sorry i was indifferent to your plight and needs

no, you break teeth on horrid hard green bananas is the point.

wait so you started out on the correct side of the argument but thx to fragile Unbreakable villain-style teeth now liquid diet circumstances dictate that you can only eat bananas that can be slurped through a straw, fetid juicebox style

see i feel bad now, when you assume, etc.

something about the font and the color of that Yum! strikes me as insincere.

i said it before and i'll say it again- a lotta mods got mighty big talkin on this board once they knew they couldn't be sbanned

if it makes you feel any better I sbed John for being condescending and gross

then I sbed myself out of a sense of karmic justice

wait do sbans on mods count now, or is it just mod-on-mod violence that has any effect

they've counted for months! the last clusterfuck meta thread we had was about whether we had adequately communicated whether sbs against mods counted or not

well there's your answer. i wrote the companion guide to that thread ffs

sad to have missed this poll, sadder still that even one person voted for horrid, mealy, fruit fly gestating brown bananas. bananas are basically inedible unless ever so slightly green. the greenish color indicates the presence of healthful and delicious properties. ffs

okay why are you turning into LJ

fear of genuine labor?

then why you picking green bananas?

small doses of carefully applied suffering allow me to feel virtuous in my indolence

plus brown banana = what babies leave on everything in spitting distance

what kind of weird-ass deliciously-wasted-banana spitting babies do you know?

the more i think about it the more i think that brown bananas are basically like what you would get if a perfectly healthy green banana got food poisoning and threw up into another banana

okay now

what would the sound effect for the green banana be?

silent death