I Write Like: "Check what famous writer you write like"

"Check what famous writer you write like with this statistical analysis tool, which analyzes your word choice and writing style and compares them to those of the famous writers.

Any text in English will do: your latest blog post, journal entry, comment, chapter of your unfinished book, etc. For reliable results paste at least a few paragraphs (not tweets)."

I punched in Kanye West's apology to Taylor Swift from last September:

“I’m sooooo sorry to Taylor Swift and her fans and her mom [Andrea]. I spoke to her mother right after and she said the same thing my mother would’ve said. She is very talented! I like the lyrics about being a cheerleader and she’s in the bleachers! …………………… I’m in the wrong for going on stage and taking away from her moment!…………….. Beyonce’s video was the best of this decade!!! I’m sorry to my fans if I let you guys down!!!!! I’m sorry to my friends at MTV. I will apologize to Taylor 2mrw. Welcome to the real world!!!! Everybody wanna booooo me but I’m a fan of real pop culture!!! No disrespect but we watchin’ the show at the cribe right now cause…. Well you know!!!! I’m still happy for Taylor!!!! Boooyaawww!!!! You are very talented!!!!! I gave my awards to Outkast when they deserved it over me… That’s what it is!!!! I’m not crazy yall, I’m just real. Sorry for that!!! I really feel bad for Taylor and I’m sincerely sorry!!! Much Respect!!!!!”

According to I Write Like, this is most like

http://i32.tinypic.com/20zpq39.jpg

This has been all over twitter. I put in an academic piece of mine, and it said I wrote like H.P. Lovecraft. Should I be worried?

Isn't there a board for this sort of thread?

OH WAIT

i got the fight club guy.

I Don't Read the Opening Post

xp

I'm guessing anything relatively wordy gets Lovecraft, because that's what I got.

I think I write more like Claude Simon.

I got David Foster Wallace for the Rabbit Marxist Porn story I wrote for Anthony in an AIM chat many years ago.

My forwarding of an Amtrak ticket confirmation also got David Foster Wallace though.

that totally makes sense.

Result #1: Steven King
Result #2: DAN BROWN

fuck u i write like, fuck u in every hole

TS Spongebob Vs. Phineas and Ferb

Using this post, it pegged me as Stephen King.

Which animal would you use to crush Scrappy Doo?

This one it gave me DFW.

got DFW to an "are we breaking up?" email to my ex: every cloud has a silver lining.

FREEFORM 1990's ALTERNATIVE ALBUM POLL - THE RECKONING (TOP TEN COUNTING DOWN NOW)

Joyce.

^^^lol

okay there's no way we all write like DFW

(email to a girl gave me that)

I just put in my three random bits from the few days of 750 words I've done, and got DFW, Gertrude Stein and Arthur C. Clarke.

The first few paras of a recent conference paper - including a long quote from Kant - also got DFW.

I put in some DFW thing and got Steven King

Just checked - James Joyce does indeed write like James Joyce.

lol

xp

I bet if you put in something from dubliners it'll give you someone else

OK Ive seen this effing thing mentioned 3 times this morning and NO ONE HAS POSTED A LINK TO THE DAMN THING. Cos that would kind of help, you know?

here!

http://iwl.me/s/f92755a9

I write like James Fenimore Cooper, of course

I got DFW, and, unkindest cut of all, Dan Furking Brown.

I put in three pieces and got three different answers... Nabokov, James Joyce, and fucking Dan Brown. Still pissed about that last one.

xpost - lol

a story from years ago about an lovelorn alcoholic - 1st para = JK Rowling, another para = DFW, the rest = James Joyce (i think this is because its full of irish placenames rather than any skill on my part)

Hahah depending on which bit of novel/short story I sling in there, I'm William Gibson, David Foster Wallace, or James Joyce.

UH.

(my poetry is either DFW or Atwood. this thing blows)

I got Stephen King, which I'm fine with, but this things is obviously entirely useless

this is pretty suspect.gif tbh

more recent writings of mine are coming up DFW, which i can see i guess. early lolcollege papers are showing edgar allen poe, which i thought was interesting until another one came back arthur conan doyle - from an essay i wrote on sherlock holmes

*shrugs*

i got nabokov. gonna quit this while i'm still ahead.

Got DFW 8 out of 10. Got Edgar Allen Poe and J.D. Salinger once each.

Wiiliam Gibson writes like Vladimir Nabokov:

https://twitter.com/greatdismal/status/18555666218

(mutter mutter how come he doesn't get Dan fucking Brown)

Then again maybe if I wrote Neuromancer instead of my poncy sophomore crap...QED I guess

Laugh, I nearly bought one : The Marrissa Marchant tapes...

David Foster Wallace, again.

Hohum.

What would David Foster Wallace post several dozen times?

I got David Foster Wallace too, despite having never read him.

xpost o rlly?

It needs more authors.

I posted the lyrics to "How I wrote elastic man" The Fall.

James Joyce, apparently.

I posted a section of the "aw" thread on 1p3

Arthur C. Clarke!

apparently cats type like Arthur C. Clarke as well

This is rubbish. I put in some Edgar Allen Poe and it came out with Arthur Conan Doyle.

stephanie meyer

A short piece I wrote about Bryan Ferry = Vladimir Nabokov.

everything i put in reads like Vladimir Nabokov.

This is so bogus. I put in a terrible bullet-pointy work email about VAT exemption and I got HP Lovecraft.

"David Foster Wallace"

equally bizarre as my surname is Foster

i also came out DFW

[copyright material removed]

lol whoops

Lovecraft every time so far, whether a short email, a college essay, or a work procedure.

nrq you donut

xxp I reckon that reads like JR Hartley.

gotta lotta tabs going bro

Here is the link btw:

http://iwl.me/

yeah no i did it and it did come out DFW, then i was gonna try a different piece of writing and, um, yeah

n e ways, that also came out DFW! which you know, really?

Has anyone pasted any DFW into it to see what that gives?

i just pasted this -- http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/features/2009/03/09/090309fi_fiction_wallace -- in and unfortunately it came out DFW so

I guess it works then, congrats all round

Just put in the first three paragraphs of The Idiot and got Leo Tolstoy. Poor old Fyodor.

James Joyce!

my academic writing is like Dan Brown. awwwwwwww shit.

more like ¥£$

I write like Arthur Conan Doyle, but it was a work letter I pasted tbh

I code java like DFW

Variously Lovecraft, Shakespeare and Cooper (James F, not Jilly).

posted this from 2005

--
Soft sweet scented sheets of the hotel Blossom Dearie: yards of sumptuous unused bedding, virgin territory. Mysteries of the substances they give you for the shower. Mysteries of the shower, for that matter. In the 14 down elevator always different characters: odd European business associates this time, encountering each other here during descent, the group forming around me as though by accident. The elevator seems a running joke, the one qualm anyone has about the place, save also the coldness of the breakfast buffet at which rogue English voices sigh.
--

and got DFW like almost everyone else.

first long ILX post i could find-

i write like david foster wallace.

who is this guy that's obviously well known, but who writes like first draft nonsense to message boards?

tbqf i think it's a shitty programme with only like six possible results

then this para which actually quotes Pynchon

--
The Park waits to the west with its lifelines traced in the orange of Christo’s Gates. Oddly mundane repetition of the pattern, orange cloth hung on orange poles, like some Kurosawan feudal structure perhaps but uniform all across the green miles when so much might have been gained by variation, the chances once so good for diversity. In two minutes you could toss together a notion that would improve it: on this path every gate bearing a handwritten quotation from a New York novel; on this every orange cloth emblazoned with a bird of America. Nothing doing. The Gates seem always excused by circumstance, some condition that’s absent: - They’d look better in the wind; - O, they’d look good in the snow. Nature beats them like it casually trumps much artifice: the setting sun behind the Reservoir Jackie Onassis peels more than one shade of orange across the silhouette-strewn sky.
--

and it says Vonnegut!

yes it is

David Cameron = Dan Brown

Raoul Moat = David Foster Wallace

J.D. Salinger!

Knew it.

My emo 750words.com rants are like Kurt Vonnegut. My hand coded HTML is like James Joyce. Quickly, someone offer me a book deal.

Suspect all hand coded HTML is like James Joyce, hold on, I'll just check...

... no! My hand coded HTML is like Dan Brown :(

Armond White's Inception review comes up as Nabokov.

My CV = David Foster Wallace

Letter of complaint to Islington Council = Arthur C. Clarke (!)

Complaining about flying saucers over your house again were we?

That bleedin' obelisk, black as coal it is, ruinin' the view

Government wants to build a space elevator on my sacred mountain...

Suspect all hand coded HTML is like James Joyce,

A Portrait of the Artist as a Blink Tag
UlyCSS

someone on tumblr noticed that only white males are allowed to have recognisable writing styles in this program

oops

this thread in its entirety is also arthur c clarke

No. I put in one of my posts and got JK Rowling! xp

Jane Austen writes like Jane Austen. Toni Morrison writes like Ursula LeGuin.

Yeah, there are definitely women all up in this. Gender disparity probably only equal to the gender disparity of the literary canon.

I would find this much more interesting if it gave you more information - as in, break it into metatopic, grammatical structure, use of adverbs etc.

I stuck in an old FT blog post and got HG Wells.

That's what happens when you go back in time to old posts.

My earliest long-ish post on ILX = HG Wells
My most recent long-ish post on ILX = Chuck Palahniuk

Tedious waffly email about computers = William Gibson

Rant on ILX about Sky News and Kay Burley = Stephen King

List of World Cup Winners with goals scored and average number of goals scored, on ILX = Stephen King

^ my ILX persona revealed

Lyrics to Down In The Tubestation At Midnight = George Orwell
Lyrics to I wanna find me a woman who'll hold my big toe till I have to go = Margaret Mitchell

How is it working? because i entered a bunch of my blog posts and i got DFW ALMOST EVERY TIME. not that i'm complaining but jesus

i used a long-ish ask dr. freud post and it said i write like james joyce, but i already knew that

Lyrics to "I Ain't Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman)" by Joe Tex = Ian Fleming

Lyrics to "I Am a Cider Drinker" by the Wurzels = P. G. Wodehouse

Lyrics to "Shaddap Yo' Face" by Joe Dolce = Vladimir Nabokov

The lyrics to If White America Told The Truth For One Day It's World Would Fall Apart by the Manic Street Preachers = Steven King.

Actual real lol.

Informer by Snow = also Steven King.

derek and clive's "this bloke came up to me" sketch = DFW

"Orville's Song" by Keith Harris & Orville = Stephen King

Infamous Ljag post = Stephen King.

'Don't Stand So Close To Me' by The Police = not Nabokov, but J. K. Rowling

... beginning to think someone is pulling our leg here:

Monty Python's Parrot Sketch = Margaret Atwood

^ a woman!

Solved: Why White Ppl are Assholes = David Foster Wallace

Admittedly that Dave Q post actually does read like DFW.

Derek & Clive's 'You Stupid C-word' = Edgar Allan Poe. Well, Lou Reed is a big fan...

latest mel gibson rant = James Joyce

Tedious waffly email about computers = William Gibson

― WOOD! GOBLINS! (NickB), Thursday, 15 July 2010 13:44 (40 minutes ago)

Revealing that the writer of the e-mail knows absolutely nothing about computers?

'Sonic Attack' by Hawkwind = not Michael Moorcock, but James Joyce.

Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address = H.P. Lovecraft

Martin Luther King, "I Have a Dream" speech = Margaret Mitchell

Winston Churchill, "We Shall Fight Them on the Beaches" = Jonathan Swift

'Baby Got Back' = J.D. Salinger

Obama inauguration = Arthur C. Clarke

the lyrics to Lady Gaga's Alejandro = William Shakespeare

The Bible, Genesis 1 = Edgar Allan Poe

'The End' by The Doors = Nabokov

Revealing that the writer of the e-mail knows absolutely nothing about computers?

Oh boy, you've got me sussed :(

'I Like to Move It' is also Salinger. Hmmm.

"Donald, Where's Yer Troosers?" = Robert Louis Stevenson

"Ying Tong Song" = James Joyce

... can't argue with those really

I get Margaret Atwood for most everything I personally wrote, except for the Backslapcember Schedule First Draft, which was ... David Foster Wallace

Long-hand notes from the Monday meeting = Dan Brown. Which I can totally see.

Get a lot of albino monks in your meetings?

ILM Top 100 2005-2009: ALBUMS

This post got me James Joyce.

TMZ claims Urkel punched a woman in the breast implant

lolol this one got me DFW

(not linking the ones that got me Dan Brown ;_;)

LEBRON'S DECISION: "THE DECISION" LIVE THREAD

loooooooooool Leo Tolstoy!

a cursory search reveals that I hardly ever post more than 3 sentences at a time

not to veer close to lol conservative homophobic "anal sex is unnatural" rhetoric, but while anal intercourse is driven by 100% natural sexual impulses and desires the act itself is not "sexual" in the sense of sexual reproduction, which I believe is the sense of the term used in "sexual intercourse." (Not to say it's not "sexual" in other senses)

I Write Like Vladimir Nabokov

Het is misschien vloeken in de kerk, maar is het een idee voor de vaste bezoekers van het oude filmforum om (tijdelijk?) collectief over te stappen naar een ander (bestaand) filmforum? Mijn suggestie: het forum van Cinema.nl. Dan kapen we daar onze eigen plek op een forum waar anders toch helemaal niets gebeurt, met als voordeel dat we zeer zeker nieuwe filmfreaks gaan tegenkomen die zinvolle bijdragen kunnen leveren.

Een ander filmforum kan natuurlijk ook. Suggesties zijn welkom.

James Fenimore Cooper - who knew?

this would be more useful if it included an explanation a la Pandora's radio stations

Lyrics to "I Tawt I Taw a Puddy Tat" = Mark Twain

is it supposed to be useful, though?

by "useful" I really mean "interesting"

as it is, it's either a cheap form of flattery or a source of LOLs (e.g. cats type like Arthur C. Clarke)

I think it was just plain evil to throw Dan Brown in as one of the results though.

James Brown's "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag" = Kurt Vonnegut

Lyrics to Can's 'I Want More' = Raymond Chandler wtf

oh man how have i not yet plugged in the gzeus chrono trigger rant.

brb

are crushes awesome or what?

^^^ Stephen King

^^ well, it got the genre right!

oops Matt DC already found that out

wonder what drunken chaki rant plays like to this thing

d-mac, I already did that one! - it was David Foster Wallace

still picked jenas and berbatov after saturday's embarassment. plays robbie keane at right midfield, leaves one right midfielder on the left and our best one on the bench. leaves huddlestone on the bench all game.

still picking paul robinson.

still picking paul robinson.

still picking paul robinson.

he doesn't have any tactical knowledge. he can't change a game. he never, never picks the best eleven available. he never drops a player.

he wasted 17 million on a fourth best striker when we needed a midfielder that can pass and a left back (which is not gareth bale, by the way)

jol out.

I write like Kurt Vonnegut

14-Aug-2007 btw

called it

someone direct me to a prime tim from KFC post

Stephen Garza writes like James Joyce

A legal memo regarding the potential negligence of a landlord gave me David Foster Wallace. An analysis of an insurance company's arguments in a workers' comp case gave me Leo Tolstoy.

first Tim from KFC post = Agatha Christie!

Tim's style evolves in later posts to one resembling James Joyce

this post merited a comparison to Stephen King.

I get DFW every time.

I pasted in half of this thread and it came up H.P. Lovecraft!

i get only DFW. eh.

this is basically a smartypants version of the "what Golden Girl are you?" type surveys that were a plague upon the internet years ago, right? the variation and accuracy of the results is about the same too.

so which Golden Girl is DFW? Blanche?

i feel bad for DFW that some has posthumously created new technology to further the belief that using five dollars words and run-on sentences = writing like him

wait, the guy who wrote I Write Like was dead when he created that site? well I for one welcome our new literary zombie overlords

</smartass>

this fuckin guy

Live while I'm alive, code when I'm dead...

Code in his grave.

Shakespeare. No complaints.

You're secretly Francis Bacon, right?

"I suppose depending on how far inside we're talking here. Far enough inside, and yeah, it's all pink and clinical. Have you seen the porn that's all about girls with a clear plastic speculum? Baffling how that's erotic." = William Gibson