wasps shoot out a/c vents while you're driving
― dyao, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:08 (fifteen years ago)
D:
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:11 (fifteen years ago)
Satan bets he'll make you curse your existance. God accepts.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:11 (fifteen years ago)
diarrhea rainstorm
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:15 (fifteen years ago)
lol, nice, two words.
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:16 (fifteen years ago)
girlfriend screams at 4AM, flashlight shines into bedroom window
really happened^
old lady standing at the foot of your bed, staring
― rent, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:17 (fifteen years ago)
omg!
xpost
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:17 (fifteen years ago)
all your cell walls collapse.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:18 (fifteen years ago)
your cock is a spiral ham
― Lamp, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:18 (fifteen years ago)
looooool
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:19 (fifteen years ago)
an idiot gets ahold of a nuclear weapon
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:19 (fifteen years ago)
bleeding from the ankle in open waters, great white approaching.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:20 (fifteen years ago)
parks and recreation marathon
― I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:20 (fifteen years ago)
i wanna hear the rest of that flashlight story!
xpost ha aa haa ha ha ha haaa
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:20 (fifteen years ago)
bound & gagged by cannibal dwarfs
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:23 (fifteen years ago)
the flashlight moved away from the window seconds after my girlfriend woke me up and my initial reaction was, surprisingly, delirious anger. i ran outside in my boxers to see if i could see someone running away but by the time i got out there they were gone. end of story. i'm thinking aliens.
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:25 (fifteen years ago)
every Cannibal Corpse song ever
― the new hot dawg stand in compton (Pillbox), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:29 (fifteen years ago)
Ebola everywhere. Bleeding from eyes only a matter of time.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:30 (fifteen years ago)
wake up, no light, can't move
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:32 (fifteen years ago)
Everything starts catching on fire.
― kkvgz, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:42 (fifteen years ago)
Oops that's a penis
― i maybe does drugs (rip van wanko), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:43 (fifteen years ago)
^^^^^^^^^ next m. knight shyamalan film.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:44 (fifteen years ago)
Relative says "Let's have a big family Christmas!"
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:44 (fifteen years ago)
next m. knight shyamalan film.
^^ most terrifying scenario so far
― goth (crüt), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:44 (fifteen years ago)
― kkvgz, Sunday, July 18, 2010 6:42 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQZ3nICd8uk
― del griffith, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:46 (fifteen years ago)
worms start wriggling out the pores of your skin
― dyao, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:47 (fifteen years ago)
world's fattest man sits on you, doesn't get up
― dyao, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:48 (fifteen years ago)
stuck in an elevator for 72 hours
Your martini arrives garnished with a tiny shrunken head.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:50 (fifteen years ago)
you are marrying an otter
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:55 (fifteen years ago)
you marry an otter who turns out to be gay
― del griffith, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:56 (fifteen years ago)
still posting to ILX in 10 years
― al-goreda (s1ocki), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:57 (fifteen years ago)
still alive in 10 years
― Lamp, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:59 (fifteen years ago)
still D.R.E. in 10 years
― al-goreda (s1ocki), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:00 (fifteen years ago)
lol
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:04 (fifteen years ago)
The Republicans retake control of the House and Senate.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:04 (fifteen years ago)
president palin
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:08 (fifteen years ago)
fellow apartment-resident palin
― goth (crüt), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:08 (fifteen years ago)
palin takes over the tonight show
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:09 (fifteen years ago)
While eating a chocolate bar, someone says "That's not chocolate"
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:12 (fifteen years ago)
all the world's food becomes carob
― del griffith, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:14 (fifteen years ago)
soy-based alternative to sex invented & becomes norm
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:15 (fifteen years ago)
GB General Election decided by ILX poll
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:16 (fifteen years ago)
Every time you fall asleep, you die and are replaced.
― Darramouss, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:27 (fifteen years ago)
actually alive during your autopsy.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:29 (fifteen years ago)
Joseph Stalin having butt sex with your mom (without lube)
― Michael B, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:30 (fifteen years ago)
World Cup Final 2010 : Netherlands vs Spain - Netherlands wins.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:31 (fifteen years ago)
England wins World Cup
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:32 (fifteen years ago)
trapped in a commercial airplane, over the ocean, careening downwards.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:32 (fifteen years ago)
ew.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:33 (fifteen years ago)
Joseph Stalin having butt sex with your dad (with lube)
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:35 (fifteen years ago)
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:36 (fifteen years ago)
sandpapered to death while being sprayed with vinegar.
― not_goodwin, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:36 (fifteen years ago)
Everyone on ILX has you kill-filed but you don't know
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:37 (fifteen years ago)
i would be relieved if that was the case.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:39 (fifteen years ago)
That's not far from Geir's reality, right?
― Grisly Addams (WmC), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:40 (fifteen years ago)
drowning in spunk :(
― not_goodwin, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:40 (fifteen years ago)
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:41 (fifteen years ago)
iatee is a dweeb! (snoball LOLs knowing that iatee will never see that BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:42 (fifteen years ago)
lol i see what you did there ^
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:43 (fifteen years ago)
Spiders fall on your face.
― ô_o (Nicole), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:46 (fifteen years ago)
Horror story about itching makes you think about itching, itchy.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:53 (fifteen years ago)
locked in a room with captain lorax
― i think i'm baby peach, larry koopa (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:57 (fifteen years ago)
centipedes! in my vagina!
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:57 (fifteen years ago)
National Endowment for the Arts chairman Larry the Cable Guy
― litel, Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:00 (fifteen years ago)
spiders as big as cats, on fire, jumping at you.
― ledge, Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:01 (fifteen years ago)
Democratic president gets elected, Republicans vote against EVERYTHING he proposes.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:04 (fifteen years ago)
youre sentence: life in prison, but youre not guilty.
― Zeno, Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:08 (fifteen years ago)
sunscreen lotion eats away your skin
― Sara R-C, Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:10 (fifteen years ago)
Pitchfork Music Festival 2010
― I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:10 (fifteen years ago)
Garth Brooks records "A Chris Gaines Tribute to Barton Fink"
― litel, Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:14 (fifteen years ago)
Human centipedes! In my vagina!
― emil.y, Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:40 (fifteen years ago)
Night. Returning home to your empty house, lights are on.
― Born too beguiled (DavidM), Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:45 (fifteen years ago)
entire pub stops talking, looks at you. door bolted.
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:45 (fifteen years ago)
"poppage"
― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:55 (fifteen years ago)
captured by terrorists and given orange jumpsuit :(
― not_goodwin, Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:56 (fifteen years ago)
captured by bubbies and given orange juice :)
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 20:59 (fifteen years ago)
alone; you hear breathing
― plax (ico), Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:09 (fifteen years ago)
A sound. There's something moving about in the attic.
― Born too beguiled (DavidM), Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:15 (fifteen years ago)
you were never cool, you were always your parents
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:16 (fifteen years ago)
You lift the toilet seat. Out leaps a sodden rat.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:17 (fifteen years ago)
:O
― could be a bad day for (Abbott), Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:35 (fifteen years ago)
^^^this, also the suncream one
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:39 (fifteen years ago)
the calls were coming from inside the house
― dyao, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:41 (fifteen years ago)
. . . from mel gibson
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:41 (fifteen years ago)
getting trapped caving and losing the rest of the party
― not_goodwin, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:44 (fifteen years ago)
The one you love most has a terrible smell.
― Three Word Username, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:45 (fifteen years ago)
your laziness with the dentist means you're going to lose your teeth
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:46 (fifteen years ago)
your laziness with the rules of the thread disqualifies you
― dyao, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:47 (fifteen years ago)
needs to go on the "invent a terrifying scenario in 12 words or less"!
― not_goodwin, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:47 (fifteen years ago)
i tried editing, but gave up half-way thru
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:48 (fifteen years ago)
no matter what you post to WS this comes up
http://www.irvinehousingblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/ugly3_lg.gif
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:49 (fifteen years ago)
dentist laziness: you're going to lose all your teeth.
― Grisly Addams (WmC), Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:51 (fifteen years ago)
not that hard
. . . with no anesthetic.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:51 (fifteen years ago)
Under the bump on your skin is a spider's egg.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:54 (fifteen years ago)
one about cancer avoidance + doctor laziness too :(
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:54 (fifteen years ago)
overnight every inch of your body becomes covered in warts
― ledge, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:56 (fifteen years ago)
White trouser shart.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:57 (fifteen years ago)
g clooney texts found on yr gf's phone
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:58 (fifteen years ago)
u discover u're secretly turned on by furries
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 21:58 (fifteen years ago)
poltergeist in your home (just watching it now)
― not_goodwin, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:08 (fifteen years ago)
You: a dog dreaming you are human. Getting fixed tomorrow.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:10 (fifteen years ago)
Dogs "fixing" you!
― not_goodwin, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:11 (fifteen years ago)
xp might consider that deal tbh
― ledge, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:12 (fifteen years ago)
yeah dog scenario is kind of awesome
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:13 (fifteen years ago)
Fully awake in a coma but unable to communicate.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:15 (fifteen years ago)
Variation: Consciousness trapped in the coffin for eternity.
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:16 (fifteen years ago)
Fully awake during general anesthetic, doc laughs at your tiny
Damn, out of words :-(
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:21 (fifteen years ago)
Scientists discover that all sexual stimulation causes cancer.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:23 (fifteen years ago)
edward scissorhands handjob
― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:23 (fifteen years ago)
xp^ the sex drive compels forth the death drive :(
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:24 (fifteen years ago)
Can't decide which one is the scariest:
There are other intelligent life forms out there.
The only life in the universe is on earth.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:28 (fifteen years ago)
not putting lottery on for prison friends, numbers come up
― not_goodwin, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:29 (fifteen years ago)
xp second one, duh
"There are other intelligent life forms out there but the gulfs are too vast to ever be crossed" is one of the most depressing scenarios imo.
― ledge, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:31 (fifteen years ago)
Tomorrow morning when you wake up you are Lindsay Lohan.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:38 (fifteen years ago)
tomorrow when you wake up you are next to lohan
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:38 (fifteen years ago)
and she's wearing a strap-on!
― not_goodwin, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:39 (fifteen years ago)
and a stalin-stache
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:40 (fifteen years ago)
l0u1s jagg3r, Professional Houseguest
― Grisly Addams (WmC), Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:48 (fifteen years ago)
Your partner suddenly wants to explore coprophagia with you.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:49 (fifteen years ago)
You don't know about the webcam in your bedroom.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 22:55 (fifteen years ago)
Posting scenarios at 1am, your alarm is set at 6.
:$
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 23:03 (fifteen years ago)
l0u1s jagg3r, Professional Houseguest Chef
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Sunday, 18 July 2010 23:05 (fifteen years ago)
hypnoses wearing off halfway through re-enacting 2 girls 1 cup
― not_goodwin, Sunday, 18 July 2010 23:34 (fifteen years ago)
as the cup
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Sunday, 18 July 2010 23:37 (fifteen years ago)
House surrounded by maneating zombie possums
― VegemiteGrrrl, Sunday, 18 July 2010 23:38 (fifteen years ago)
TURN BACK YOU POXY FULE
― (e_3) (Edward III), Monday, 19 July 2010 02:55 (fifteen years ago)
you're getting old and losing your hair (or going grey)
― Mordy, Monday, 19 July 2010 02:56 (fifteen years ago)
you're getting married...IN BED
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 02:56 (fifteen years ago)
actually that sounds relaxing, if your friends+family are down with it as well, disregard
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 02:57 (fifteen years ago)
drowning in a pool of jell-o
― the aztec mystic pizza (Stevie D), Monday, 19 July 2010 02:57 (fifteen years ago)
uh, IN BED as in john+yoko, not while having sex
god, gotta stop drunkposting
you're drunkposting on ILX - ON TELEVISION
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 02:59 (fifteen years ago)
you're posting to a msg board hoping strangers like u
― Mordy, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:02 (fifteen years ago)
marrying lennon while sodomized by lenin, tv on the radio officiates
― (e_3) (Edward III), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:03 (fifteen years ago)
friend borrows your external. He's so sorry about what happened.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:04 (fifteen years ago)
trotsky was right (scary for leninists)
― Mordy, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:04 (fifteen years ago)
Smell something smoky on the freeway. Hey your engine's on fire.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:06 (fifteen years ago)
tv on the radio - ON THE TV AGAIN
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:06 (fifteen years ago)
Went to work without the keys. Store won't open now.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:08 (fifteen years ago)
Pitchfork gives you 4.4. Hipster tears taste bitter, not sweet.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:11 (fifteen years ago)
A letter from RIAA. Go to court over Smash Mouth.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:14 (fifteen years ago)
Stalk hottie on Facebook. Accidentally press "like" button on photo.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:16 (fifteen years ago)
the lower east side on friday night
― max, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:17 (fifteen years ago)
every song outlawed except shiny happy people
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:17 (fifteen years ago)
- and the unlike button is broken!xpost
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:18 (fifteen years ago)
(or internect connection cuts off right after)
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:19 (fifteen years ago)
internet connection cuts off
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:20 (fifteen years ago)
internet connection
― max, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:21 (fifteen years ago)
Facebook search a girl -- now her name is your status.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:21 (fifteen years ago)
you connect to the internet..IN BED
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:21 (fifteen years ago)
meet a naked family member on chatroullete
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:24 (fifteen years ago)
oh god
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:25 (fifteen years ago)
...and you only see their face 5 minutes in
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:26 (fifteen years ago)
ho lee shit
― easiest lay on the White House lawn → (will), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:27 (fifteen years ago)
week from winning the election, media discovers your ilx account
― iatee, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:31 (fifteen years ago)
you were on chatroulette for 5 minutes with the same person
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:32 (fifteen years ago)
your balls are alive and hate each other
― ultimate worrier (goole), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:32 (fifteen years ago)
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:33 (fifteen years ago)
― Cunga, Sunday, July 18, 2010 10:21 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark
almost did this with my ex-gf
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:42 (fifteen years ago)
whine to ILX. Hope boss don't read the Guardian.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:46 (fifteen years ago)
Let friend use computer. Explain terms found in Google cache.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:47 (fifteen years ago)
good one
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:47 (fifteen years ago)
stupid thing you did gets picked up by every paper
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:48 (fifteen years ago)
your fingers always smell like doritos
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:49 (fifteen years ago)
hair starts growing from your eyeballs
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:52 (fifteen years ago)
forced to lick 1000 peaches
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:53 (fifteen years ago)
MC Hammer pants filled with ferrets and breadcrumbs
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:54 (fifteen years ago)
poop sneeze
forced to move back in with parents
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:55 (fifteen years ago)
your limbs suddenly start retracting
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:56 (fifteen years ago)
forced to move back in with homeless parents.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:57 (fifteen years ago)
Girl says no pre-marital sex (post-marital sex lookin bleak, too)
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:59 (fifteen years ago)
New Scott Walker album. 52 min of raw-meat as percussion.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:01 (fifteen years ago)
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh..........
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:02 (fifteen years ago)
Ride bike to work. It never rains in Southern California.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:03 (fifteen years ago)
penis falls off and is picked up by a posessive librarian
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:04 (fifteen years ago)
you awake handcuffed to a naked rosie o'donnell
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:05 (fifteen years ago)
penis falls off - is picked up by naked rosie o'donnell
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:07 (fifteen years ago)
giving speech, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:11 (fifteen years ago)
on first date, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:12 (fifteen years ago)
just chillin, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:13 (fifteen years ago)
you realize the funhouse mirror is a regular mirror, p.i.p.
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:13 (fifteen years ago)
everything you touch explodes
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:15 (fifteen years ago)
Get person's number, get too excited. Come across clingy.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:16 (fifteen years ago)
trapped in a room on mushrooms with japanese eel dog
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:16 (fifteen years ago)
awesome beef jerky you forgot about, take bite, see maggots
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:17 (fifteen years ago)
every time your child opens his mouth you hear static
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:18 (fifteen years ago)
all your poops come back to find you
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:20 (fifteen years ago)
they want to be bff
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:22 (fifteen years ago)
Hire local superstar. He's taking his talents to South Beach.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:23 (fifteen years ago)
locked out 2 hrs before your flight
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:25 (fifteen years ago)
christmas present has died by the time you open it
wake up naked and in line at 7-11
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:26 (fifteen years ago)
trapped in room of scrotal sacs
― the polka-dot jersey shore (haitch), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:27 (fifteen years ago)
You had requested a slurpee before you passed out.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:28 (fifteen years ago)
Al: Bad news. Sam: Who am I? :Al: Raoul Moat.
― Darramouss, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:30 (fifteen years ago)
husband just wants four walls and adobe slabs for you.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:33 (fifteen years ago)
"Man I found this creepy old doll on the beach!"
― Darramouss, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:34 (fifteen years ago)
"Dude that's Maddie McCann."
2 users online: you and tuomas. popular poster is SB'd
― the burn & shipley (k3vin k.), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:38 (fifteen years ago)
In Soviet Russia. Party finds you.
― Three Word Username, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:39 (fifteen years ago)
Awake stapled to the ceiling.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:45 (fifteen years ago)
first sexy time with soul mate, remove her pants, AnCo tattoo
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:48 (fifteen years ago)
notice friends all look at you funny, you're insane
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:53 (fifteen years ago)
You're at work, tired from posting terrifying scenarios.
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 06:53 (fifteen years ago)
the Bible turns out to be true
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:25 (fifteen years ago)
XD
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:27 (fifteen years ago)
you wake up a cockroach
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:30 (fifteen years ago)
you wake up as leif garret
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:32 (fifteen years ago)
fingers in your food
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:34 (fifteen years ago)
it becomes impossible to find meaning or joy in life
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:35 (fifteen years ago)
you get framed for killing your wife
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:36 (fifteen years ago)
your belly is open, you are paralysed, you hear rats
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:37 (fifteen years ago)
you wake up as a crayon in a kindergarten classroom
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:38 (fifteen years ago)
your field of vision narrows by 2% every day
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:39 (fifteen years ago)
shoved head first into a vat of cockroaches, naked
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:41 (fifteen years ago)
all the world leaders have been planning a big war
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:41 (fifteen years ago)
you die and meet god, god is a parrot head
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:42 (fifteen years ago)
gravity ceases to exist
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:44 (fifteen years ago)
you murder your father and marry your mother
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:45 (fifteen years ago)
you are now breathing manually
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:46 (fifteen years ago)
leprosy epidemic
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:47 (fifteen years ago)
upside-down until you die
― ledge, Sunday, 18 July 2010 23:31 (Yesterday)
Most depressing of all: "There are other intelligent life forms out there, they have the technology to cross the vast gulfs of space, BUT they aren't interested n us at all and leave us alone."
Actually I pinched that from Arthur C. Clarke: "why have we not already received visitors from older civilisations? (...) (2) We are so unintelligent that no-one is interested in visiting us."
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:49 (fifteen years ago)
Banquet celebrating LJ's book "Cooking with Broken Glass and Wasps"
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:50 (fifteen years ago)
LOL I read that as "Basquiat celebrating LJ's book 'Cooking with Broken Glass and Wasps'"
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:52 (fifteen years ago)
mouth and nose sealed; must puncture own throat to survive
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:54 (fifteen years ago)
nipples glass, pants broken, soul music.Falling floor. wrap underneath,
― making posts (Zachary Taylor), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:55 (fifteen years ago)
You can't get your ski boots off. EVER.
― Three Word Username, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:55 (fifteen years ago)
waking up late for work...penis tattoo on your forehead
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 08:00 (fifteen years ago)
man is a parasite, and the host is dying
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:00 (fifteen years ago)
the host is pat sajak
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 08:01 (fifteen years ago)
Selfridges will launch it's Christmas season on 2nd August
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:01 (fifteen years ago)
nobody will ever love you as much as that one
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:06 (fifteen years ago)
― Three Word Username, Monday, July 19, 2010 7:55 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark
people always say they wanna die with their boots on...
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 08:07 (fifteen years ago)
― Three Word Username, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:55 (10 minutes ago)
shudder
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 08:10 (fifteen years ago)
sitting in aeroplane, you see a crack develop on wing
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:15 (fifteen years ago)
sitting in toilet, you see a crack develop on wang
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:16 (fifteen years ago)
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:16 (fifteen years ago)
Time traveller stops your parents from ever meeting.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:19 (fifteen years ago)
acoleuthic has some good ones. this should be turned into a poll!
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:22 (fifteen years ago)
Santa Claus does not exist.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:24 (fifteen years ago)
whoops, should read:
Santa Claus does not exist, it's really your parents/guardian.
Santa Claus exists. you've just backed over him.
― now breathing manually (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:26 (fifteen years ago)
Can't concentrate for longer than it takes to post zing.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:29 (fifteen years ago)
complete power-failure in a crowded metro station
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:43 (fifteen years ago)
nah everyone would just get out their mobiles
― ledge, Monday, 19 July 2010 08:46 (fifteen years ago)
No mouth, must scream
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:38 (fifteen years ago)
No anus, must excrete
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 09:39 (fifteen years ago)
Asshole sewn shut, keep being fed and fed and fed
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:39 (fifteen years ago)
End segment of Human Centipede, no anus.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 09:40 (fifteen years ago)
Forced by drug to associate everything you love with illness
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:42 (fifteen years ago)
(I'm not really inventing much here, though.)
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:43 (fifteen years ago)
Werner Herzog warns: never listen to tape of parents fucking.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:48 (fifteen years ago)
all movies are lost bar the matrix sequels
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 09:48 (fifteen years ago)
Someone steals your scenario here, makes blockbuster. You get $0.
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:50 (fifteen years ago)
they make a movie about your life, cast rodney dangerfield in lead role.
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 09:54 (fifteen years ago)
He's dead.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:54 (fifteen years ago)
is that better or worse iyo?
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 09:57 (fifteen years ago)
ILX The Movie! Brad Pitt plays Tuomas, Danny DeVito you.
Xposts: lol
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:57 (fifteen years ago)
Even Peter Travers called the performance "stiff and lifeless".
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:00 (fifteen years ago)
redundancy packages include mansions, limos- they're keeping you on
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 10:14 (fifteen years ago)
Someone invents a horribly tacky product and names it (YourFirstName).
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:41 (fifteen years ago)
E.g. "Here's a brochure for our new Kenan line of sex toys for pets"
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:44 (fifteen years ago)
Oh that was low.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:50 (fifteen years ago)
Low but terrifying!
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:56 (fifteen years ago)
Sorry though.
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:57 (fifteen years ago)
Your sense of humor fails spectacularly on ILX, offending someone.
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 11:05 (fifteen years ago)
:-(
after 10 years and countless posts, kenan draws the line!
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:06 (fifteen years ago)
super gonzo close-up porn orgy pulls back to reveal your mom
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:12 (fifteen years ago)
Lying in bed, hearing a door in your home opening.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:23 (fifteen years ago)
that just happened here OMG oh wait there are two other people in the house already
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:24 (fifteen years ago)
Mother, staff exhausted. Bloody bawling newborns keep emerging.
― ὑστέρησις (Sanpaku), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:27 (fifteen years ago)
worlds average penis size increases by 5 inches; yours doesn't
― dyao, Monday, 19 July 2010 11:40 (fifteen years ago)
ROW playin catch-up imo
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:45 (fifteen years ago)
Your laptop and phone cameras are always on, transmitting
― atoms breaking heart (a passing spacecadet), Monday, 19 July 2010 12:08 (fifteen years ago)
Reveal paranoia on ILX scenario thread, your post kills thread
― atoms breaking heart (a passing spacecadet), Monday, 19 July 2010 12:11 (fifteen years ago)
Coworker turns to read your screen during ILX post composition
― atoms breaking heart (a passing spacecadet), Monday, 19 July 2010 12:13 (fifteen years ago)
Sitting on the beach, ant crawls inside your urethra.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 12:29 (fifteen years ago)
your colon is rerouted to your urethra
― dyao, Monday, 19 July 2010 12:30 (fifteen years ago)
midway through sex, your penis starts hemorrhaging huge bloody globs
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 12:52 (fifteen years ago)
Meaningless existence. Oh shit.
― emil.y, Monday, 19 July 2010 13:03 (fifteen years ago)
Cockroach crawling behind your eyeball.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 13:20 (fifteen years ago)
while jogging your heart suddenly starts to beat extremely fast
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:03 (fifteen years ago)
nah that's normal
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:16 (fifteen years ago)
lol beginner
"diarrhea rainstorm" is still the winner, I think
― HI DERE, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:20 (fifteen years ago)
The year 2525, Kid Rock, Jr., top ten Billboard smash.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:21 (fifteen years ago)
You get fired, then someone cuts your hands off.
― Quantic Dream, So Hard To Beat (Will M.), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:22 (fifteen years ago)
xxpost
http://www.mattjohnstone.co.uk/IMAGES/image_wmptm_10_poo_nami_01.jpg
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:23 (fifteen years ago)
urinary meatus avulsion
― HI DERE, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:25 (fifteen years ago)
― HI DERE, Monday, 19 July 2010 15:20 (5 minutes ago)
Was a LOL moment for me.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:27 (fifteen years ago)
Forced to live inside pores of Amy Winehouse's skin
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:28 (fifteen years ago)
xp Also would be a good title for an N-Dubz style pop song.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:30 (fifteen years ago)
Hey, I didn't say I was offended. I just said it was low.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:34 (fifteen years ago)
sex disallowed until after first showering in bacon grease
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:38 (fifteen years ago)
sounds good actually
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:38 (fifteen years ago)
i've heard of food fetishes but yeesh!
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:39 (fifteen years ago)
I have a story about this. looked just like a hotdog in a microwave.
― kate78, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:39 (fifteen years ago)
One post to ILX makes everyone think you're totally weird.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:40 (fifteen years ago)
^^^^ scenario or statement of fact?
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:42 (fifteen years ago)
gah
― HI DERE, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:48 (fifteen years ago)
xp fact - art imitating life
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:52 (fifteen years ago)
two maracas. one is sentient. ¡rumba samba mambo! :(((((((((((
― if you see her, say ayo (unregistered), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:54 (fifteen years ago)
Stuck on packed bus with wasp buzzing around inside.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:54 (fifteen years ago)
stuck inside Virtual Reality game featuring simulated pig wrangling
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:56 (fifteen years ago)
Everyone around you in restaurant becomes suddenly and violently ill.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:58 (fifteen years ago)
drowning for eternity but never dying.
― the aztec mystic pizza (Stevie D), Monday, 19 July 2010 15:00 (fifteen years ago)
Fishhook in the gums/anus.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 15:00 (fifteen years ago)
You wake up unable to read, can't learn again.
― ledge, Monday, 19 July 2010 15:01 (fifteen years ago)
I think a gums/anus combo is nightmare enough without having to add a fishhook into the mix.
― HI DERE, Monday, 19 July 2010 15:03 (fifteen years ago)
― San Te, Monday, July 19, 2010 12:12 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― HI DERE, Monday, July 19, 2010 12:18 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark
fact, but here it is as scenario:urinary meatus avulsion: looks like a hotdog in a microwave.
― kate78, Monday, 19 July 2010 15:05 (fifteen years ago)
burgerpipe sales fall again
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 15:09 (fifteen years ago)
Penis fails to plump when cooked, instead busts a seam.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 15:13 (fifteen years ago)
10 years later, nothing has changed.
― hey it's (jel --), Monday, 19 July 2010 16:07 (fifteen years ago)
you created a character, and lost yourself
― hey it's (jel --), Monday, 19 July 2010 16:08 (fifteen years ago)
format c: <enter>
― HI DERE, Monday, 19 July 2010 16:10 (fifteen years ago)
M. Night Shalayaman Film Festival
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 16:29 (fifteen years ago)
nipples chained up to pair of hawks
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 16:31 (fifteen years ago)
All master tapes lost worldwide except Johnny Hates Jazz
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 16:33 (fifteen years ago)
Bagpipe ambush
― disastrous sixth series (MaresNest), Monday, 19 July 2010 16:34 (fifteen years ago)
love is not enough :(
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 16:37 (fifteen years ago)
skyjumping with gastric distress
― HI DERE, Monday, 19 July 2010 16:41 (fifteen years ago)
leading to diarrhea rainstorm
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 16:42 (fifteen years ago)
jump out of plane, p.i.p.
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 16:43 (fifteen years ago)
wet fart. turd came out? no, all intestines did.
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 16:44 (fifteen years ago)
surgeon mistakenly transplants cheeseburger instead of heart in patient
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 16:44 (fifteen years ago)
R0nald McD0nald turns out to be a serial killer.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 16:45 (fifteen years ago)
razorblade sandwich
― HI DERE, Monday, 19 July 2010 16:48 (fifteen years ago)
^http://zocalo.laneta.apc.org/img_uploads/1bbff2d54340c81debe25b5918ff9be0/WEB_JOHN_WAYNE_GACY__WWW_ROTTEN_COM.jpg
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 16:49 (fifteen years ago)
uh xp
Science reveals world created by fart, theory renamed "Big Stink"
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 16:51 (fifteen years ago)
Olfactory malfunction: everything smells like farts forever.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 16:57 (fifteen years ago)
every fart spawns innumerable micro-dimensional universes
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 16:59 (fifteen years ago)
farty fart farts fart fartariffic fartocalypses
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:01 (fifteen years ago)
All humor reduced to fart and defecation jokes.
― Three Word Username, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:11 (fifteen years ago)
You don't have to invent that as a scenario, in many ways it's already happened!
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:13 (fifteen years ago)
xpost Lorne Michaels becomes President?
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:13 (fifteen years ago)
thank fuck someone posted this
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:14 (fifteen years ago)
humor snobs ruin glorious fart and defecation thread
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:15 (fifteen years ago)
fran drescher tinnitus
― be told and get high on coconut (gbx), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:18 (fifteen years ago)
billy joel's "greatest hits" on endless loop.
― Daniel, Esq., Monday, 19 July 2010 17:19 (fifteen years ago)
^^^ was once on hold to Dell tech support and heard The Corrs' Greatest Hits all the way through.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:20 (fifteen years ago)
Government mandates State of Union address delivered by DJ Khaled
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:24 (fifteen years ago)
entertaining thread ruined by pointless critique
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 17:28 (fifteen years ago)
THE HORROR
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 17:29 (fifteen years ago)
can only fall asleep after sucking on wolverine's teat
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:29 (fifteen years ago)
stuck in a tornado forever
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 17:30 (fifteen years ago)
sounds fun
― be told and get high on coconut (gbx), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:30 (fifteen years ago)
stuck in a room with crazy tornado guy
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 17:31 (fifteen years ago)
http://postmoderngentleman.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/taz-tornado-187x300.jpg
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 17:32 (fifteen years ago)
likes to fart, is crazy
― be told and get high on coconut (gbx), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:33 (fifteen years ago)
cannot stop farting.
― now breathing manually (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:34 (fifteen years ago)
cannot stop HICCUPPING
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:35 (fifteen years ago)
Endlessly decaying, never dying.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:35 (fifteen years ago)
Sneezing up a lung. At work.
but get to go home! :D
― now breathing manually (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:38 (fifteen years ago)
canot stop itching
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:39 (fifteen years ago)
anal reflux
― HI DERE, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:41 (fifteen years ago)
Ears cease hearing everything except the word "omnibus" for eternity
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:44 (fifteen years ago)
I think gravity and physiology combine to disallow anal reflux.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:44 (fifteen years ago)
SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:45 (fifteen years ago)
xp Unless we're talking about some kind of low-pressure butt suck.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:45 (fifteen years ago)
Megan Fox accepts sex invite, find weiner between legs
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:47 (fifteen years ago)
xp England football team to thread...
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:47 (fifteen years ago)
You drank too much at the party. Now you're dying.
― grab you by the boo-boo and don't let go (kkvgz), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:47 (fifteen years ago)
read that as "dyking"
― ultimate worrier (goole), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:49 (fifteen years ago)
didn't really sound so bad tbh
alien overlords' plan: humans make great buttplugs
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:49 (fifteen years ago)
Challenge Jesus Christ to kung fu match. Lose.
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:49 (fifteen years ago)
mom has confession: dick cheney is your biological father
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:50 (fifteen years ago)
Choked yourself in a closet and yanked it. You're dead.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:50 (fifteen years ago)
high-pressure butt-suck
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:51 (fifteen years ago)
(These are like the opposite of haiku.)
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:51 (fifteen years ago)
hoover end fitting removed, tube placed over eyeball, switch flicked
Time stops a nanosecond before you reach orgasm
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:52 (fifteen years ago)
xp people will do anything to stop you doing an encore...
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:53 (fifteen years ago)
xp That sounds ok by me. That's always my favorite nanosecond, anyway.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:53 (fifteen years ago)
but for ETERNITY?
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:55 (fifteen years ago)
rolled down a mountain swaddled in fiberglass insulation and vinegar
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:55 (fifteen years ago)
Finding out your anus contains the meaning of life
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 17:56 (fifteen years ago)
Jeph Loeb, head of Marvel Comics' television and video entertainment division.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:58 (fifteen years ago)
spend the rest of your life high on lsd.
― now breathing manually (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 17:59 (fifteen years ago)
wear awesome hat to party, everyone makes fun of you
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 17:59 (fifteen years ago)
xp http://groupieblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/syd_barrett.jpg
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:00 (fifteen years ago)
a butt farting onto a human face, forever
― dyao, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:01 (fifteen years ago)
wake up to find Elijah Wood giving you bj
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:01 (fifteen years ago)
lack balls to wear awesome hat, regret it forever
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 18:01 (fifteen years ago)
Ankle handcuffed to drain at the bottom of the pool.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:02 (fifteen years ago)
Diagnosed schizophrenic. Voices in your head insist you are sane.
― Aimless, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:02 (fifteen years ago)
Others claim a friend or loved one seemingly never existed.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:02 (fifteen years ago)
Your worst year of secondary school/high school, repeated over and over
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:03 (fifteen years ago)
eat radioactive hotdog, become 8-foot superhero named HotDog Man
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:04 (fifteen years ago)
Buried alive.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:04 (fifteen years ago)
science proves that music is stupid
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 18:05 (fifteen years ago)
science proves that thinking is stupid
2 out of 3 is retroactively deemed "bad"
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:05 (fifteen years ago)
Blackmailed into travelling back in time and shooting JFK
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:06 (fifteen years ago)
Abandoned house in country. Accident. Spurting marrow. Maybe some bats.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:07 (fifteen years ago)
banned by God from earth for spamming
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:07 (fifteen years ago)
everyone can hear your thoughts. no matter how far away.
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:09 (fifteen years ago)
in large hall or church; ceiling falls down towards you
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:09 (fifteen years ago)
reading phrase 'spurting marrow'
― dyao, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:09 (fifteen years ago)
mom has no recollection of you, go away (totally creeped out by this in "It's a Wonderful Life" as a kid)
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:12 (fifteen years ago)
^guess i didn't invent that then huh
@ 1:54
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:14 (fifteen years ago)
lost in desert, swollen cracking tongue, choking on thick mucus.
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 18:14 (fifteen years ago)
chatting with gorgeous girl, forget all English words except "poop".
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:16 (fifteen years ago)
Friends or loved ones claim your moustache seemingly never existed
― Not the real Village People, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:20 (fifteen years ago)
Suddenly, all forms of light make you cripplingly ill.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:20 (fifteen years ago)
End of world: Mormons got it right all along
― Myonga Vön Bontee, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:23 (fifteen years ago)
no more curry :(
― be told and get high on coconut (gbx), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:23 (fifteen years ago)
You wake to find right eyeball dangling on your cheek.
― Aimless, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:26 (fifteen years ago)
2012: first Tea Party president. 2016: first Scientologist president.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:27 (fifteen years ago)
you find your best friend with their face sheared off
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:27 (fifteen years ago)
― peacocks, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:32 (fifteen years ago)
sleepwalking: kill family, film it, mail to police
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:33 (fifteen years ago)
Geir Hongro joins Wu-Tang as "Geirface Niggah"
― Would love to hear Bam babble about this (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:33 (fifteen years ago)
a blinding flash - you turn, and lo - a mushroom cloud
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:34 (fifteen years ago)
Shark attack. But you're still alive as you are swallowed.
― Born too beguiled (DavidM), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:35 (fifteen years ago)
Solving Black Dahlia murder but dying before reporting findings
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:35 (fifteen years ago)
You cover your face, but they bite your hands instead
― A prog venn diagram for you to think about (Matt #2), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:40 (fifteen years ago)
The first stone just misses, but they have many more
― A prog venn diagram for you to think about (Matt #2), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:43 (fifteen years ago)
Bearsharktopus feeding frenzy
― peacocks, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:43 (fifteen years ago)
Night. Upstairs. In Bed. Tap tap tap on your window.
― Born too beguiled (DavidM), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:44 (fifteen years ago)
As the knife is unsheathed, you realise you've been tricked
― A prog venn diagram for you to think about (Matt #2), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:45 (fifteen years ago)
wake up, vague awful feeling, remember it wasn't a dream
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 18:46 (fifteen years ago)
someone finds you randomly on a list, determines you die
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:46 (fifteen years ago)
A spacewalk gores wrong. You drift away into the blackness.
― Born too beguiled (DavidM), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:48 (fifteen years ago)
doctor giggles, calls over cute nurse: "look at this!!"
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:50 (fifteen years ago)
A brown envelope through the door. Sender : "HMRC Investigation Dept."
― A prog venn diagram for you to think about (Matt #2), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:51 (fifteen years ago)
goths get their wish and the sun disappears
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:55 (fifteen years ago)
(ty abbott)
― iatee, Sunday, July 18, 2010 7:08 PM
Someone beat me to it.
― gato busca pleitos (Eazy), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:56 (fifteen years ago)
Noncanonical Twilight movies hit theatre twice per month
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 18:57 (fifteen years ago)
your changes in mood magnified 100x in everyone around you
― ultimate worrier (goole), Monday, 19 July 2010 18:59 (fifteen years ago)
you mother knows EVERYTHING.
― now breathing manually (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 19:00 (fifteen years ago)
youve got the dj slot at steven gerrard's birthday party
― Michael B, Monday, 19 July 2010 19:01 (fifteen years ago)
ILX server is hacked and ungoogleproofed for world to see
― San Te, Monday, 19 July 2010 19:10 (fifteen years ago)
facebook knows, everyone know, they just know
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 19:11 (fifteen years ago)
(ty jhoshea!)
entire world is urbanized
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 19:41 (fifteen years ago)
white christian nationalists have correct understanding of history, science, humanity
― ultimate worrier (goole), Monday, 19 July 2010 21:50 (fifteen years ago)
it's not wine, it's lukewarm backwash
― HI DERE, Monday, 19 July 2010 22:01 (fifteen years ago)
BEARS
― be told and get high on coconut (gbx), Monday, 19 July 2010 22:02 (fifteen years ago)
Evidence suggests Alicia Keys is a woman with feelings
― Would love to hear Bam babble about this (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 19 July 2010 22:02 (fifteen years ago)
guesspapers of physics class lX. lots of them. all unsolved.
― if you see her, say ayo (unregistered), Monday, 19 July 2010 22:07 (fifteen years ago)
:D
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 22:08 (fifteen years ago)
tbh I like this better the way I just misread it:
a blinding flash - you turn, and lol - a mushroom cloud
― if you see her, say ayo (unregistered), Monday, 19 July 2010 22:14 (fifteen years ago)
(my sincerest apologies to the survivors of the Bikini Atoll attacks & the families of the victims)
― if you see her, say ayo (unregistered), Monday, 19 July 2010 22:16 (fifteen years ago)
"HAHA oh those fucken guys and their apocalypse!"
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 22:18 (fifteen years ago)
Forced to live in Gants Hill by tazer wielding badgers.
― disastrous sixth series (MaresNest), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:04 (fifteen years ago)
all livestock dead - bugs are our new main food source.
― now breathing manually (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:09 (fifteen years ago)
no1 will stfu about inception until u die
― Lamp, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:10 (fifteen years ago)
^ this kind of text-type becomes the new English standard
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:13 (fifteen years ago)
human species devolves to communication consisting entirely of emoticons
― sarahel, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:14 (fifteen years ago)
forced to drink decaf
― no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:16 (fifteen years ago)
this thread never dies
― dyao, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:18 (fifteen years ago)
strapped to cell phone tower, devoured by ravenous teletubbies
― sarahel, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:18 (fifteen years ago)
other ppl have opinions
― an0n (Lamp), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:19 (fifteen years ago)
eaten alive by teletubbies; your evisceration broadcast on their stomachs
― sarahel, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:19 (fifteen years ago)
Everyone you meet talks and reasons like "The Room" characters
― Not the real Village People, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:21 (fifteen years ago)
there are a surprising number of unintentionally terrifying scenarios as thread titles under site new answers right now:
This is the thread where I try and summarise Cerebus English accents What’s kicking your ass right now, ILC-er?
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:25 (fifteen years ago)
― Aimless, Sunday, July 18, 2010 6:50 PM
Your martini never arrives.
― i am giving you the caesar salad of compliments (Nijoli), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:30 (fifteen years ago)
Going To Law School
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 00:44 (fifteen years ago)
toad that grows babies in holes in its skin
― Astronaut Mike Dexter (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 01:02 (fifteen years ago)
baby that grows toads in holes in its skin
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Tuesday, 20 July 2010 01:21 (fifteen years ago)
skin that grows babies in toads in its holes
― dyao, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 01:22 (fifteen years ago)
Happy 120th birthday President Limbaugh!
― Where Time Becomes A Loop, Where Time Becomes Aloof (EDB), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 02:14 (fifteen years ago)
Happy 124th birthday Supreme World Overlord Limbaugh!
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 02:25 (fifteen years ago)
Trapeze artists walk on high wire above boiling mayonnaise.
― banjoboy, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 03:22 (fifteen years ago)
You were supposed to be Christ
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 03:27 (fifteen years ago)
According to Jim lasted eight seasons.
― San Te, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 03:36 (fifteen years ago)
― be told and get high on coconut (gbx), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 03:59 (fifteen years ago)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 04:02 (fifteen years ago)
^^^ First version didn't really hit his stride until ~30 y.o., iirc.
― Aimless, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 04:03 (fifteen years ago)
the suncream one actually happened to me as a child :(
― head gettin' bad boys (electricsound), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 04:59 (fifteen years ago)
Divorce papers reveal that teletubby suits critical to your sexual arousal.
― ὑστέρησις (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:08 (fifteen years ago)
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 14:18 (Yesterday)
this is beautiful
― head gettin' bad boys (electricsound), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:10 (fifteen years ago)
― i am giving you the caesar salad of compliments (Nijoli)
D: D: D:
― Gumbercules (Trayce), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:11 (fifteen years ago)
Pulling an unsightly hair, you start to unravel.
― ὑστέρησις (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:12 (fifteen years ago)
pulling hair from mouth, hair is 10 ft long
― Gumbercules (Trayce), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:13 (fifteen years ago)
Speaking of which, I'm semi-claustrophobic, drive a convertible in a subtropical clime and hence almost never use the A/C. I decided to recharge the R232 refrigerant two days ago, and in testing the fan an empty hornet's nest was blown from behind to almost completely block a vent. I broke it apart with a screwdriver through between the vanes, and sucked out the bits with a vacumn.
― ὑστέρησις (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:23 (fifteen years ago)
Jesus I must be tired I read that as "drive a convertible submarine". o_0
― Gumbercules (Trayce), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:28 (fifteen years ago)
That piece of popcorn: stuck between your teeth FOREVER
― VegemiteGrrrl, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:39 (fifteen years ago)
winner
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:45 (fifteen years ago)
Yeah that would blow.
― Gumbercules (Trayce), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 06:29 (fifteen years ago)
Misread 'R232' as 'R2D2', get excited, then realise mistake. Disappointment.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 07:06 (fifteen years ago)
You just married the person who stole your virginity.
― Nate Carson, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 10:39 (fifteen years ago)
hahaha otm
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 10:40 (fifteen years ago)
Surrounded by co-workers who just won't stop talking.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 10:42 (fifteen years ago)
All music perceived as Fountans Of Wayne midifile circa 1997
― disastrous sixth series (MaresNest), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 12:19 (fifteen years ago)
Listening to that new Paul Weller album without death coming.
― one man meme-denier - jol in? (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 12:25 (fifteen years ago)
Never falling in love and instead growing old with cats.
― one man meme-denier - jol in? (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 12:26 (fifteen years ago)
ilxor secretly owned by pitchfork media
― San Te, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 12:28 (fifteen years ago)
You're actually retarded - parents have rigged your life for you.
― grab you by the boo-boo and don't let go (kkvgz), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 12:29 (fifteen years ago)
Words you think you say are not what everyone hears.
cesc fabregas really is going to barcelona. underpriced too, yup.
― one man meme-denier - jol in? (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 12:31 (fifteen years ago)
When you masturbate it is broadcast in Time Square
― San Te, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 12:49 (fifteen years ago)
the wire with the drug side recast as white people
^^^would get thru to a lot more ppl imo.
― one man meme-denier - jol in? (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 14:11 (fifteen years ago)
― San Te, 20 July 2010 12:49 (1 hour ago)
the cumin show
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 14:14 (fifteen years ago)
cumin in the kitchen
― dyao, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 14:17 (fifteen years ago)
Stegosaurus sex tape
― San Te, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 18:03 (fifteen years ago)
Vietnamese Spring Roll is Naked Mole Rat, Eats Your Face
― sarahel, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 18:04 (fifteen years ago)
every thought you have, you say out loud - very loud.
― now breathing manually (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 18:08 (fifteen years ago)
You sb'ed 1ouis jagg3r. Now his ghost haunts your dreams.
― Aimless, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 18:13 (fifteen years ago)
A Whale Lands on your yacht
― Jarlrmai, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 18:15 (fifteen years ago)
that sounds awesome!
― now breathing manually (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 19:04 (fifteen years ago)
Flying donkey!
― sofatruck, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 19:55 (fifteen years ago)
You kill famous celebrity in auto accident
― San Te, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 20:04 (fifteen years ago)
^^^^this is a good one
― Anti-Suggest Ban Order (acoleuthic), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 20:05 (fifteen years ago)
http://illinoispolicy.org/uploads/media/median%20longterm%20unemployment.png
― gato busca pleitos (Eazy), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 20:46 (fifteen years ago)
picture=1,000 words, disqualified
― San Te, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 20:48 (fifteen years ago)
your tongue is worms
― stet, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 22:36 (fifteen years ago)
Tuomas gets own talk show
― San Te, Friday, 23 July 2010 15:39 (fifteen years ago)
Terrifying or sublimely hilarious?
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 23 July 2010 15:43 (fifteen years ago)
ILM poll thread
― FUCK YOU I'M BLACK (HI DERE), Friday, 23 July 2010 15:52 (fifteen years ago)
ILE food poll will be so, so much worse
― Anti-Suggest Ban Order (acoleuthic), Friday, 23 July 2010 15:54 (fifteen years ago)
ILTMI food poll thread
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Friday, 23 July 2010 15:54 (fifteen years ago)
l0uis predicts the results of a poll
― ming mang mongrel (electricsound), Friday, 23 July 2010 15:55 (fifteen years ago)
Recurring Keebler elf molestation dream
― San Te, Friday, 23 July 2010 16:10 (fifteen years ago)
you wake up a cockroach [on my fucking head last night, JESUS FUCK WTFFFF]
― latebloomer, Monday, July 19, 2010 3:30 AM (1 week ago)
GOD
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 26 July 2010 16:51 (fifteen years ago)
so horrible. so much worse than flashlight in window.
genital larvae
― jaymc won $5800 on day 1! (HI DERE), Monday, 26 July 2010 16:52 (fifteen years ago)
i flung it across the room and hoped that it was dead, and then heard if twitching grotesquely in the corner, so i had to turn on the light and smite it
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 26 July 2010 16:52 (fifteen years ago)
it twitching*
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 26 July 2010 16:53 (fifteen years ago)
There's A Wasp Inside...my sinus
― Anti-Suggest Ban Order (acoleuthic), Monday, 26 July 2010 16:54 (fifteen years ago)
Corbin Bernsen sex tape
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 26 February 2015 01:40 (ten years ago)
it looks at you through the door gap
― Unheimlich Manouevre (dog latin), Thursday, 26 February 2015 10:39 (ten years ago)
painful bowel movement releases writhing mass of razor-toothed worms
― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 26 February 2015 10:46 (ten years ago)
― Mordy, Sunday, July 18, 2010 9:16 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― vacuum head tree disease (imago), Thursday, 26 February 2015 11:11 (ten years ago)
― ultimate worrier (goole), Monday, July 19, 2010 3:32 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― vacuum head tree disease (imago), Thursday, 26 February 2015 11:12 (ten years ago)
― rent, Monday, July 19, 2010 4:18 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― vacuum head tree disease (imago), Thursday, 26 February 2015 11:13 (ten years ago)
new ilx posts become copy-and-pastes from years ago
― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 26 February 2015 11:16 (ten years ago)
you wonder if you were funnier in 2010
― vacuum head tree disease (imago), Thursday, 26 February 2015 11:18 (ten years ago)
perpetual springsteen gig
― MaresNest, Thursday, 26 February 2015 11:21 (ten years ago)
god says kill your son
― drash, Thursday, 26 February 2015 11:32 (ten years ago)
your new boss is a hated ilxor
― local eire man (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 February 2015 11:49 (ten years ago)
the present moment lasts forever
― describing a scene in which the Hulk gets a boner (contenderizer), Thursday, 26 February 2015 13:46 (ten years ago)
in 2016 you'll have been on ilx for 10 years
:(((
― dichtgekitte discman (unregistered), Thursday, 26 February 2015 14:19 (ten years ago)
Kanye biopic, starring Kanye in all roles.
― something of an astrological coup (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 26 February 2015 14:28 (ten years ago)
everybody knows your name
― sʌxihɔːl (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 26 February 2015 14:38 (ten years ago)
Baby octopi living between your brain and skull.
― Ad Strawmanem (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 February 2015 14:39 (ten years ago)
House of Leaves revised expanded edition
― dichtgekitte discman (unregistered), Thursday, 26 February 2015 14:42 (ten years ago)
blobfish DNA found on Turin Shroud
― dichtgekitte discman (unregistered), Thursday, 26 February 2015 14:43 (ten years ago)
Every time you urinate, nothing but pencil shavings.
― Ad Strawmanem (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 February 2015 14:51 (ten years ago)
Fifty Shades of Grey expanded universe
― ƋППṍӮɨ∏ğڵșěᶉᶇдM℮ (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 26 February 2015 17:39 (ten years ago)
Delineations of canonicity within the Fifty Shades of Grey universe.
― Ad Strawmanem (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 February 2015 17:50 (ten years ago)
your dreams as a 4-year-old come true
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 26 February 2015 17:51 (ten years ago)
sjw govt
― local eire man (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 February 2015 18:44 (ten years ago)
ilx pruned to polls, excelsior threads
― daed bod (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 February 2015 18:49 (ten years ago)
I added five inches, all to the glans
― DJP, Thursday, 26 February 2015 18:53 (ten years ago)
expanded on this
stuck in an elevator for 72 hours [with ted cruz]
― dyao, Sunday, July 18, 2010 6:48 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Thursday, 26 February 2015 19:11 (ten years ago)
long weekend in winnipeg
― Rave Van Donk (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 26 February 2015 19:16 (ten years ago)
climate change so bad life is like mad max
― Mordy, Thursday, 26 February 2015 19:22 (ten years ago)
aliens already found us -- just waiting for omnicide to conquer.
― king of ilx's ice hockey/soccer venn intersection (Will M.), Thursday, 26 February 2015 19:29 (ten years ago)
oops! you picked up a gun that shoots people autonomously
― king of ilx's ice hockey/soccer venn intersection (Will M.), Thursday, 26 February 2015 19:32 (ten years ago)
job interview's for CDC, not DC; you're dressed like batman
― king of ilx's ice hockey/soccer venn intersection (Will M.), Thursday, 26 February 2015 19:33 (ten years ago)
Immobile, forced to binge watch Ghost Whisperer in its entirety.
― Ad Strawmanem (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 February 2015 19:33 (ten years ago)
kidding, it's for dc, but you're still dressed like batmanxp
― king of ilx's ice hockey/soccer venn intersection (Will M.), Thursday, 26 February 2015 19:34 (ten years ago)
Beating Hitler at chess, an announcement: "Winner literally becomes Hitler"
― king of ilx's ice hockey/soccer venn intersection (Will M.), Thursday, 26 February 2015 19:35 (ten years ago)
you're closeted and vince mcmahon says "your gimmick: gay dude"
Fire in bed; saving lover requires burning dick
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 26 February 2015 23:16 (ten years ago)
Old Testament God exists.
― äkta människa (Sanpaku), Friday, 27 February 2015 00:00 (ten years ago)
=World flooded with liquid sand and sharp rocks
― Drop soap, not bombs (Ste), Friday, 27 February 2015 00:10 (ten years ago)
All musicians killed except Ed Sheeran.
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 27 February 2015 01:05 (ten years ago)
Book of Fate rewritten by God as Twilight Zone episode.
― Aimless, Friday, 27 February 2015 01:09 (ten years ago)
Burger King roast duck
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 27 February 2015 01:14 (ten years ago)
imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever
― Aimless, Friday, 27 February 2015 01:19 (ten years ago)
-- Bob Marley
― Aimless, Friday, 27 February 2015 01:20 (ten years ago)
people are reincarnated
― when is the new Jim O'Rourke album coming out (spazzmatazz), Friday, 27 February 2015 01:29 (ten years ago)
Jedward Christmas special
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 27 February 2015 01:33 (ten years ago)
urine expelled as a stream of hot spiders
― describing a scene in which the Hulk gets a boner (contenderizer), Friday, 27 February 2015 02:27 (ten years ago)
your parents move in with you
― describing a scene in which the Hulk gets a boner (contenderizer), Friday, 27 February 2015 02:28 (ten years ago)
the pharmacist calls, sounding frantic
― & I was throwing a party the same night as (bernard snowy), Friday, 27 February 2015 03:40 (ten years ago)
you wake up as one leg of a large roach
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 27 February 2015 06:18 (ten years ago)
you have dropped the baby
― describing a scene in which the Hulk gets a boner (contenderizer), Friday, 27 February 2015 06:36 (ten years ago)
wrong cup
― when is the new Jim O'Rourke album coming out (spazzmatazz), Friday, 27 February 2015 06:56 (ten years ago)
it's morning, new year's day 2042: you log into ilx
― the plight of y0landa (forksclovetofu), Friday, 27 February 2015 07:10 (ten years ago)
Jay blanchard Chippendale
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 27 February 2015 07:20 (ten years ago)
oldie but goodie:last man on earth hears a knock at the door
― the plight of y0landa (forksclovetofu), Friday, 27 February 2015 07:21 (ten years ago)
they never ever ever fix the shower drain
― the plight of y0landa (forksclovetofu), Friday, 27 February 2015 07:22 (ten years ago)
Accidentally shoot clown at kids party
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 27 February 2015 07:25 (ten years ago)
cymothoa exigua (genital)
― describing a scene in which the Hulk gets a boner (contenderizer), Friday, 27 February 2015 07:26 (ten years ago)
Walk in on son shapeshifting.
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 27 February 2015 07:27 (ten years ago)
FP was an upvote button all along
― one negged single mother (wins), Friday, 27 February 2015 08:02 (ten years ago)
― Drop soap, not bombs (Ste), Friday, 27 February 2015 08:10 (ten years ago)
boss believes you have untapped potential; given more works responsibilities
― slugbuggy, Friday, 27 February 2015 08:43 (ten years ago)
work responsibilities, dammit
― slugbuggy, Friday, 27 February 2015 08:44 (ten years ago)
quod erat demonstrandum, i suppose
― slugbuggy, Friday, 27 February 2015 08:45 (ten years ago)
Friday, 13 February 2015 13:36 Site Arctic Noon Auk unbanned
― one negged single mother (wins), Friday, 27 February 2015 08:53 (ten years ago)
every time you achieve orgasm a puppy is horribly mutilated
― bizarro gazzara, Friday, 27 February 2015 10:51 (ten years ago)
eh back to front there
― local eire man (darraghmac), Friday, 27 February 2015 10:55 (ten years ago)
every time you achieve mutilation a puppy is horribly orgasmed
― don't ask me why i posted this (electricsound), Friday, 27 February 2015 11:05 (ten years ago)
detalitum ylbirroh si yppup a msagro eveihca uoy emit yreve
― bizarro gazzara, Friday, 27 February 2015 11:11 (ten years ago)
http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/scale_small/3/34651/1813180-zat.png
― bizarro gazzara, Friday, 27 February 2015 11:12 (ten years ago)
everytime you buy a puppy thousands of children are simultaneously starving to death
― Moyes Enthusiast (LocalGarda), Friday, 27 February 2015 11:12 (ten years ago)
sorry wrong thread
remainder of this,thread to be variations on the above
― vacuum head tree disease (imago), Friday, 27 February 2015 11:13 (ten years ago)
bono clicks fingers
― local eire man (darraghmac), Friday, 27 February 2015 11:14 (ten years ago)
bono
― bizarro gazzara, Friday, 27 February 2015 11:15 (ten years ago)
after bono dies, millions of people subsequently die
― Moyes Enthusiast (LocalGarda), Friday, 27 February 2015 11:18 (ten years ago)
millions now living will never hear bono
― vacuum head tree disease (imago), Friday, 27 February 2015 12:31 (ten years ago)
lol then there might be hope for us all
― can't remember the last time we all got to hang out with (bernard snowy), Friday, 27 February 2015 12:31 (ten years ago)
Elf lives in yr butt
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 27 February 2015 14:53 (ten years ago)
mistakenly c&p porn urls in staff-wide email
― marcos, Friday, 27 February 2015 15:08 (ten years ago)
porn pop-up ad appears during staff presentation
ordered to conduct a tobacco enema on Eric Pickles corpse
― xelab, Friday, 27 February 2015 15:18 (ten years ago)
Pacemaker stolen
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 27 February 2015 15:47 (ten years ago)
you come home. find Doberman choking on a severed hand.
― Aimless, Friday, 27 February 2015 17:18 (ten years ago)
chipotle in yr butthole
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 27 February 2015 17:49 (ten years ago)
more of a business plan tbrr
― the plight of y0landa (forksclovetofu), Friday, 27 February 2015 18:12 (ten years ago)
shatner as spock
― local eire man (darraghmac), Friday, 27 February 2015 18:17 (ten years ago)
50 stories down, 50 stories to go
― describing a scene in which the Hulk gets a boner (contenderizer), Friday, 27 February 2015 18:23 (ten years ago)
larvae, not tapioca
― describing a scene in which the Hulk gets a boner (contenderizer), Friday, 27 February 2015 18:25 (ten years ago)
http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj242/donaldparsley/Yummy%20Fur%20-%20MWCS%20page%202_zpsd8krxdjz.jpg
― describing a scene in which the Hulk gets a boner (contenderizer), Friday, 27 February 2015 18:33 (ten years ago)
100 miles later the tollbooth operator is the same person
― Mordy, Friday, 27 February 2015 19:34 (ten years ago)
good one!
― marcos, Friday, 27 February 2015 20:03 (ten years ago)
Police shootout, realize vest is made of Nerf
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 27 February 2015 20:06 (ten years ago)
"This is delicious!" "Thanks, I knew her mother really well."
― the plight of y0landa (forksclovetofu), Friday, 27 February 2015 20:08 (ten years ago)
Rand Paul spoken word
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 27 February 2015 20:18 (ten years ago)
you've developed a new fetish: inside-out people
― Mordy, Friday, 27 February 2015 23:03 (ten years ago)
Putin makes his move
― local eire man (darraghmac), Saturday, 28 February 2015 00:37 (ten years ago)
you are now breathing manually― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, July 19, 2010 3:46 AM (4 years ago)
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, July 19, 2010 3:46 AM (4 years ago)
dangerous imho ^
― Mordy, Saturday, 28 February 2015 00:50 (ten years ago)
xp http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/28/world/europe/boris-nemtsov-russian-opposition-leader-is-shot-dead.html
― Mordy, Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:08 (ten years ago)
Every rizla is inside out
― Unheimlich Manouevre (dog latin), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:23 (ten years ago)
everyone who showed faith in you was indulging all along
― Unheimlich Manouevre (dog latin), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:24 (ten years ago)
The fluoride thing is for real
― Unheimlich Manouevre (dog latin), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:25 (ten years ago)
You just aren't good enough
― Unheimlich Manouevre (dog latin), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:27 (ten years ago)
overnight everyone's skulls become as thin as eggshells
― Unheimlich Manouevre (dog latin), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:29 (ten years ago)
Your employment situation will stay the same til you die
― Unheimlich Manouevre (dog latin), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:30 (ten years ago)
You will never leave
― Unheimlich Manouevre (dog latin), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:31 (ten years ago)
no booze left all off licences are closed now
― tayto fan (Michael B), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:31 (ten years ago)
It turns out you're a horrible person, or at least that's what they say
― Unheimlich Manouevre (dog latin), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:32 (ten years ago)
Neverending trip
― Unheimlich Manouevre (dog latin), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:34 (ten years ago)
wet wet wet's greatest hits on repeat
― tayto fan (Michael B), Saturday, 28 February 2015 02:36 (ten years ago)
okay w xp
― describing a scene in which the Hulk gets a boner (contenderizer), Saturday, 28 February 2015 03:09 (ten years ago)
Ah snap kidnapped by isis
― rip van wanko, Saturday, 28 February 2015 03:27 (ten years ago)
Soil pants on television
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 28 February 2015 04:46 (ten years ago)
― cardamon, Saturday, 28 February 2015 15:37 (ten years ago)
Cursed to smell like mildew for remainder of life
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 28 February 2015 16:16 (ten years ago)
Pub lock in with The Barron Knights featuring Robbie Williams.
― 0xFE Shades of Grey (snoball), Saturday, 28 February 2015 16:34 (ten years ago)
God real; really racist
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 28 February 2015 16:37 (ten years ago)
commentary from ray houghton and mark lawrenson
― tayto fan (Michael B), Saturday, 28 February 2015 16:46 (ten years ago)
oof
― local eire man (darraghmac), Saturday, 28 February 2015 16:54 (ten years ago)
hungover forever
― drash, Saturday, 28 February 2015 19:48 (ten years ago)
Lose hearing right as secret Kate Bush performance commences
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 28 February 2015 20:11 (ten years ago)
mind-reading parents
― drash, Saturday, 28 February 2015 20:33 (ten years ago)
This is definitely the scariest one.
― ©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, 28 February 2015 20:36 (ten years ago)
Like a dolphin.
― 0xFE Shades of Grey (snoball), Saturday, 28 February 2015 20:39 (ten years ago)
Alligator eats crossing guard
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Sunday, 1 March 2015 00:48 (ten years ago)
Trump President
― Neanderthal, Friday, 20 January 2017 13:34 (eight years ago)
an idiot gets ahold of a nuclear weapon― Mordy, Sunday, July 18, 2010 2:19 PM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Mordy, Sunday, July 18, 2010 2:19 PM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Diana Fire (j.lu), Friday, 20 January 2017 16:06 (eight years ago)
ahaha god
― illbient microtonal poetry Surbiton (imago), Friday, 20 January 2017 16:11 (eight years ago)
Here's a new one for you: Trump learns that he has a terminal illness.
― "Nay" (Old Lunch), Friday, 20 January 2017 16:22 (eight years ago)
sweetcorn for tea
― Lennon, Elvis, Hendrix etc (dog latin), Friday, 20 January 2017 16:22 (eight years ago)
NOW the aliens decide to land
― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 20 January 2017 22:53 (eight years ago)
Said aliens expect to be greeted as liberators.
― Diana Fire (j.lu), Friday, 20 January 2017 23:51 (eight years ago)
The next Republican president will make us miss Trump.
― MarkoP, Saturday, 21 January 2017 20:22 (eight years ago)
Adam Baldwin?
― Neanderthal, Saturday, 21 January 2017 20:24 (eight years ago)
miscavige
― sleepingbag, Saturday, 21 January 2017 20:47 (eight years ago)
nuclear football in White House bathroom next to cell phone
― Neanderthal, Saturday, 21 January 2017 20:48 (eight years ago)
alderweireld limps off
― trilby mouth (darraghmac), Saturday, 21 January 2017 21:30 (eight years ago)
turd in clam chowder
― Neanderthal, Saturday, 21 January 2017 21:38 (eight years ago)
reinstalling tinder after happily uninstalling tinder
― why ruin a good tradition? (Will M.), Sunday, 22 January 2017 10:12 (eight years ago)
at game time of the first of the world series, october 24, 2017, it is 103 degrees at dodger stadium in los angeles.
― Currently (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 25 October 2017 00:10 (eight years ago)
um
that was supposed to go in the global warming's terrifying new math thread
but just to make it fit the thread:
los angeles in october is 103 degrees, no one cares
― Currently (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 25 October 2017 00:12 (eight years ago)
Your chickens are coming home to roost bobby boucher
― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 October 2017 06:39 (eight years ago)
Every time you talk you also fart uncontrollably.
― The Wetting Planner (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 25 October 2017 10:23 (eight years ago)
You eat lunch. One by one your teeth fall out.
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 25 October 2017 21:04 (eight years ago)
Sissoko starts every game for the rest of the season
― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 October 2017 21:05 (eight years ago)
Emperor Bundy
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 28 October 2017 14:06 (eight years ago)
“madam, i’m scott adams”
― estela, Saturday, 28 October 2017 23:11 (eight years ago)
found our parakeet with all of her beak broken off.
― Ripped Taylor (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 December 2017 14:46 (eight years ago)
Your ambitious mortgage application has been approved
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 December 2017 14:48 (eight years ago)
^^^braggin
― imago, Thursday, 7 December 2017 14:55 (eight years ago)
Future Guinness record holder for 'largest kidney stone ever passed'.
― Ripped Taylor (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 December 2017 14:58 (eight years ago)
XP fantasy tbu
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 December 2017 15:34 (eight years ago)
Emperor Trump stuck on Imperial Toilet
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 7 December 2017 16:08 (eight years ago)
congrats dmac
― infinity (∞), Thursday, 7 December 2017 16:35 (eight years ago)
Will ye stop
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 December 2017 16:35 (eight years ago)
― Mordy, Sunday, July 18, 2010 2:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
crystal ball yo
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 August 2018 03:31 (seven years ago)
you have to write so dully that all ilx comprehends
― flaneur brayin (darraghmac), Saturday, 18 August 2018 08:19 (seven years ago)
blabbermouth who spills secrets to russians still has security clearance
― slugbuggy, Saturday, 18 August 2018 09:06 (seven years ago)
Leeds United fans celebrate Premier League return in style
― anvil, Saturday, 18 August 2018 09:14 (seven years ago)
painful bowel movement releases writhing mass of razor-toothed worms― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 26 February 2015 10:46 (three years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 26 February 2015 10:46 (three years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
still occasionally think about this one
― ghost beef (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 18 August 2018 09:15 (seven years ago)
― slugbuggy, Saturday, August 18, 2018 10:06 AM (twenty minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
& can arbitrarily pull the clearance of people who were using it legitimately, seemingly without immediate consequences.
O, even more so, the total lack of oversight repercussions to the acts of a maniac.
― Stevolende, Saturday, 18 August 2018 09:29 (seven years ago)
clearly not ten words
― flaneur brayin (darraghmac), Saturday, 18 August 2018 09:31 (seven years ago)
There was a good one in the back of Eno's Diary book that I was rereading, in an appendix called Unthinkable Futures.
People of different astrological signs wage war with each other.
― MaresNest, Saturday, 18 August 2018 10:34 (seven years ago)
Bono - Morrissey collaboration
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 August 2018 13:08 (seven years ago)
socialism and anarchism found willing ears into which to pour
― reggie (qualmsley), Saturday, 18 August 2018 20:51 (seven years ago)
imagoPosted: August 18, 2018 at 1:47:44 PMbirdwatching and experimental writing crew that meets for afternoon tea
― F# A# (∞), Saturday, 18 August 2018 20:54 (seven years ago)
you clearly ordered the wrong thing
― a roomba of one's own (rip van wanko), Saturday, 18 August 2018 21:12 (seven years ago)
Guy Fieri, US Secretary of Flavor
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:20 (six years ago)
Contagious scaly butt warts
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:23 (six years ago)
The Beatles featuring Adam Levine
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:25 (six years ago)
Misread that as 'The Beatles fucking Adam Levine'. I assume that also counts as an entry itt.
― Goody Rickels on the Dime (Old Lunch), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:27 (six years ago)
Compulsory gyro-based autophagia. And you're all out of tzatziki.
― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:13 (six years ago)
Tears that smell like doodoo
― FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:20 (six years ago)
water slide gets progressively smaller, you become wedged, dying slowly
― boobie, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:57 (six years ago)
2020
― LaRusso Auto (Neanderthal), Sunday, 27 September 2020 01:37 (five years ago)
haunting. even knowing I don't have any.
― swing out sister: live in new donk city (geoffreyess), Sunday, 27 September 2020 04:23 (five years ago)
Rolling Stone lists the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.
― Deflatormouse, Sunday, 27 September 2020 06:54 (five years ago)
Dying just restarts your life DVD
― LaRusso Auto (Neanderthal), Sunday, 27 September 2020 07:17 (five years ago)
xp :D <3 :D
― Mille scampeaux (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 27 September 2020 10:02 (five years ago)
the world today ... and tomorrow
― Stevolende, Sunday, 27 September 2020 10:18 (five years ago)
white privileged theatre group tackle racism
― Stevolende, Sunday, 27 September 2020 10:19 (five years ago)
your life has always been narrated by larry king
― Karl Malone, Sunday, 27 September 2020 15:53 (five years ago)
(^a very personal message from Mr. Karl Malone)
also:
you dream you're a butterfly. waken as a butterfly. it sucks.
― the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Sunday, 27 September 2020 19:05 (five years ago)
iPad stations being prepared for virtual ICU end-of-life visits
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Thursday, 3 December 2020 19:55 (five years ago)
Lloris gets injured after January, that’s the season done.
― Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari),
― spruce springclean (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:09 (five years ago)
antibiotics don't seem to be working, how's your roommate feeling?
― the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:19 (five years ago)
your taint appears on MS Teams in Executive meeting
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:23 (five years ago)
instinctively knowing how to handle that situation (zoom in)
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:26 (five years ago)
Giuliani sponge bath
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 9 December 2020 05:39 (five years ago)
zooming in on Giuliani spongebathing, trying to prove something
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 9 December 2020 05:45 (five years ago)
Giuliani handkerchief bath
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 9 December 2020 12:12 (five years ago)
white pseudoliberal writes play on ethnicity
― Stevolende, Wednesday, 9 December 2020 12:28 (five years ago)
Starland Vocal Band, house band in Hell
― Slowzy LOLtidore (Neanderthal), Monday, 20 June 2022 15:33 (three years ago)
stuck in time warp between 2020-2022
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 5 October 2022 14:53 (three years ago)
― ultimate worrier (goole), Sunday, July 18, 2010 11:32 PM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― jmm, Wednesday, 5 October 2022 15:41 (three years ago)
"X goes live in ten.." said Elon.
― “uhh”—like, this is an insane oatmeal raisin cookie “uhh” (President Keyes), Wednesday, 5 October 2022 15:48 (three years ago)
Tim Rogers Custer's Revenge review video is fourteen hours long.
― “Cheeky cheeky!” she trills, nearly demolishing a roadside post (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 6 October 2022 15:13 (three years ago)
Open driver's side door, bear in passenger seat
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Thursday, 6 October 2022 16:47 (three years ago)
TV is now only reaction videos
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Monday, 10 October 2022 14:56 (three years ago)
you release surprise album, nobody cares
― sad Mings of dynasty (Neanderthal), Friday, 30 June 2023 03:21 (two years ago)
Heat dome forms from stagnant high-pressure system trapping hot air.
― calzino, Friday, 30 June 2023 08:28 (two years ago)
“As part of the role you are responsible for managing our social media accounts”
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 30 June 2023 08:46 (two years ago)
lmao
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 30 June 2023 16:25 (two years ago)
pitchfork reviews reviews reviews reviews reviews reviews reviews reviews
― linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Friday, 4 August 2023 02:19 (two years ago)
https://i.ibb.co/HGDyBqd/Screenshot-20230906-102144.jpg
― Dinglebert Humperstink (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 September 2023 14:23 (two years ago)
Mambo No.5 is now a big culture war issue.
― van der gragt generator (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 6 September 2023 14:26 (two years ago)
mandatory work field trip to see Ricky Gervais standup
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Friday, 8 March 2024 17:15 (one year ago)
jfc
― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Friday, 8 March 2024 17:41 (one year ago)
A.I. Generates EDM waltz music, floods all steaming platforms globally
― Agnes, Agatha, Germaine and Jack (Willl), Friday, 8 March 2024 18:19 (one year ago)
(a i is two words)
― koogs, Friday, 8 March 2024 20:06 (one year ago)
turns out COVID causes early dementia
― I painted my teeth (sleeve), Friday, 8 March 2024 20:08 (one year ago)