What team should I adopt as my favorite in the NFL this year?

where do you live and where did you grow up?

I hear The Oakland Raiders are a good NFL team

I'm a Colts fan, not that I've ever watched them, but my inlaws got me a t-shirt

So I'm a Colts fan

packers

horseshoe: I grew up in Canada, so I never really got into an NFL team, which is why I'm making the poll. I sort-of watched the CFL, and I know the game pretty well (in fact my company is working on a VIDYA GAME OF FOOTBALL and I'm the only "expert" in my room). I now live in Montreal so it is pretty safe that I will never, ever have an NFL franchise here.

armrl: What are the colts and raiders deals?

iatee why packers?

Storylines and qualities I like in a sports team:
- mid-market teams with a tendency to create stars (like the Oakland A's, or Chicago Blackhawks)
- A decent bit of history and legend in its past
- A successful but distant past OR brushes with success in the recent past (like the Toronto Blue Jays, Cincinnati Reds or Tottenham Hotspur)
- Exciting, attack-minded play (like the Washington Capitals or FC Barcelona)
- Ensemble casts
- Someone maybe known for having a good kicker, because, why not right? Good for them, they're football players sort of!
- Teams at least sort of respected by the ILXors but maybe not with a whole bunch of out-and-out fans, so, you know, I can be one of the only fans of the team and still people won't wanna fight me
- A team that people don't hate in general
- A city I might want to visit someday

Storylines and qualities I'm not a fan of in a sports team:
- a reputation for having the most irritating fans (like the Philadelphia anythings)
- a major money team that sucks the talent out of lower market teams (Yankees)
- An absolute Goliath (Manchester United, LA Lakers)
- An absolute David (Blackpool, Toronto Raptors)
- A reputation for idiocy rather than sport (Philadelphia Flyers)
- Teams built around a single player (Washington Capitals)
- Teams with too many fans on ILX (gotta rep, you know?)

oh i see. you can root for the bills when your nation steals them from me >:[

Nah, see, that's in Toronto, and as a general rule it's not okay to cheer for a Toronto-based team when in Montreal. Only now that there hasn't been a baseball team (as in, ANY baseball team -- if there were a AAA team, it wouldn't be okay) for like a decade is it somewhat okay to like the Jays. The Leafs, the Argonauts, even the Raptors and Toronto FC (where we don't even have an equivalent) are right out.

root for the chiefs?

packers
- have a bizarro non-profit ownership / basically the only sports franchise in america that you can support without giving money to awful rich people
- only nfl team in a small city - or at least, that has that small city's name on the franchise
- probably have the most dedicated fans all things considered
- are a pretty good team right now w/ a qb who is fun to watch
- quite close to canada

cons
- the fans wear oversized cheese hats

also I suggest you sign up for a fantasy football team - gives you a reason to want to watch games you would be totally bored w/ otherwise

Oakland:

Pros
- great history
- awesome team colors
-some cool players, like Nnamdi!
-awesome tailgates with my friends, rain hail or shine
- no Jamarcus!
- dedicated fans
-sometimes I see Ice Cube in the stands.

Cons
-Al Davis
-Al Davis
-Al Davis
-also the losing thing sucks
-Monday Night Football
-everyone thinks we knife fight in the parking lot. Truth bomb: fans just get drunk and cry when we lose now.

Xpost Iatee otm about Fantasy...definitely will help

omg, all your pros are fulfilled by philly and then you're like, con, "philly is too obnoxious," how is that not just another pro???

lol posts v much in character <3

also otm frankly

The Packers are pretty lovable with Aaron Rogers.

And my feeling on obnoxious fans is that it's never obnoxious if it's your team (unless youre losing in the rain & everyone's drunk & booing)

And my feeling on obnoxious fans is that it's never obnoxious if it's your team (unless youre losing in the rain & everyone's drunk & booing)

thing is if you're a 'new' fan then the fans aren't 'your people' immediately and you just feel super out of place. :/

Storylines and qualities I like in a sports team:
- mid-market teams with a tendency to create stars (like the Oakland A's, or Chicago Blackhawks)
- A decent bit of history and legend in its past
- A successful but distant past OR brushes with success in the recent past (like the Toronto Blue Jays, Cincinnati Reds or Tottenham Hotspur)
- Exciting, attack-minded play (like the Washington Capitals or FC Barcelona)
- Ensemble casts
- Someone maybe known for having a good kicker, because, why not right? Good for them, they're football players sort of!
- Teams at least sort of respected by the ILXors but maybe not with a whole bunch of out-and-out fans, so, you know, I can be one of the only fans of the team and still people won't wanna fight me
- A team that people don't hate in general
- A city I might want to visit someday

dolphins imo

#2 titans
#3 broncos
#4 packers

based on your criteria

Pick a team that sucked last year or else you are a savage.

real talk imo

i would pick a team that barely missed the playoffs -- i.e. three of the four teams i listed

i wouldn't advocate following the browns/bills/lions/jags etc -- have to give yourself some reason to watch!

for an underdog that could be good this year, you could pick the texans

sucky teams build character. As a Raiders fan I have character in spades. (And the looming possibilty of relocation...)

You haven't lived until you've shed tears on Monday night.

sucky teams don't build fans of the sport tho

sucky teams make you go "this is fucking boring"

sucky teams make you become a fan of the game, so you can watch other teams win & wistfully envision what it will be like

Or if you randomly beat the Eagles at home (!) it's like winning the superbowl

But yeah, maybe not real much to recommend sucky teams for new fans. Pains me to admit it

another plus for the packers is that the favre/vikings drama is a pretty easy storyline to pick up and follow

#2 titans
#3 broncos
#4 packers

Not broncos, but I'll second Titans + Packers. Titans have the biggest RB talent in the NFL atm (the stellar and incredibly young Chris Johnson) and an exciting QB who, assuming he can stay sane (big if), is always a pleasure to watch on the field (Mr. Vince Young). Packers are great for the reasons mentioned above, tho one caveat, imo Aaron Rodgers doesn't have a whole lot of personality. But he's as good a QB as there is, and the Packers are a contender team that should be exciting to follow. Miami seems a little intense imo for a new fan (it's unclear what the situation is there, but we can assume they'll be running a ton of weird and unconventional plays, Henne isn't exactly a traditional QB and if last year is any indication there will be lots of out-of-nowhere bizarre lol Ricky Williams taking a snap and throwing an interception moments). Broncos maybe interesting if you want to follow the Tim Tebow saga, imo, because if you sign on with them now, that'll be the story for the next five years or so.

people who aren't dicks can still have personality

I mean I guess that's his personality - "not a dick"

If I can pitch the Iggles briefly -- brand new QB (Kevin Kolb) starting after Philly spent like a decade with McNabb, and a brand new starting RB (Shady McCoy) after like a decade with Brian Westbrook. This is DeSean Jackson's third year (WR) and he's a huge playmaker, and Jeremy Maclin's second (exciting trying to prove himself storyline), TE Brent Celek is excellent. The team has a bunch of receiving weapons and Reid has said he's going to playing a West Coast Offensive which basically means tons of short yardage passing and (since Jackson isn't going away) some big passing plays. Rumor is that Kolb has a more accurate throwing arm than McNabb too -- and passing is ALWAYS exciting in the NFL. Plus a HUGE fullback (how many teams even use a fullback regularly) in Leonard Weaver, and a lot of fun defensive players, including Asante Samuels who can't tackle but is a huge interception playmaker and a lot of young new defensive players (like rookies Nate Allen at safety, and Brandon Graham at DE). And we even have a great kicker! David Akers who is a consistent and excellent kicker... and a black belt!

At the very least pick a team that has never won a Super Bowl.

OK I do not feel like studying, so let's just go apeshit on this. Nota bene: I am a Green Bay Packers fan, with no inherent connection to the state of Wisconsin. I adopted them in the mid-1990s after the Raiders and Rams left Southern California, because I really liked this young gunslinger they had playing quarterback named Brett Favre. It turned out he was the devil but that is a story for another day.

Storylines and qualities I like in a sports team:
- mid-market teams with a tendency to create stars (like the Oakland A's, or Chicago Blackhawks)
The star creation is trickier because so many guys in the NFL are at least relatively well-known in college (especially big name skill players), though tons of exceptions exist (most notable is probably Tom Brady). You might like a team that has a particular system of using its personnel that can seemingly produce value out of any random dude they sign; the Patriots are probably the best at this. In terms of midmarkets, Green Bay is a unique (and magical~) case, but New Orleans and Jacksonville and Buffalo all have gone through struggles of a smaller market. Jags and Bills have been threatening to move for seemingly ever, and the Saints had threatened until they became awesome. Pittsburgh has an MLB team and a very good NHL team but in terms of civic dependence on/pride in their NFL team the Steelers are right up there with the Packers.

- A decent bit of history and legend in its past
The Chicago Bears and the Arizona Cardinals are the oldest teams in the game, but the Packers, Lions, Giants, Redskins, Steelers, Rams and Eagles all predate WWII. The NFC North guys (Detroit & Chicago & Green Bay, and the Vikings to a lesser extent), the NFC East guys (Philadelphia & Washington & NY Giants, plus the Dallas Cowboys), and Pittsburgh always seemed like the most historic to me. Although also the San Francisco 49ers have won 5 Super Bowls, so they warrant a mention.

- A successful but distant past OR brushes with success in the recent past (like the Toronto Blue Jays, Cincinnati Reds or Tottenham Hotspur)
Chicago Bears are the first team that comes to mind for this.

- Exciting, attack-minded play (like the Washington Capitals or FC Barcelona)
I think the ILNFL favorite team to watch might be the Miami Dolphins, who turned an unusual personnel situation (two incredible running backs and relatively little quality at the other offensive skill positions) into a since-much-copied formation called the Wildcat, which when successful is one of the most wonderful things you can ever hope to see. The other offensively explosive teams all center around an elite QB: the Saints and the Colts were consistently ridiculous last year, and the Chargers, Patriots, and Packers all had the ability to put up a ton of points but then sometimes didn't. Three other teams were in this group but might not be this year: the Steelers QB is suspended for a while cause he pulled his dick out in a bar, the Cardinals QB retired to spend more time with Jesus, and the Vikings QB may or may not be back, he isn't sure yet. The Vikings still do have one of the best RBs and several very good receivers, and a very talented sub-human D-Lineman named Jared Allen, but their QB situation either has a very high ceiling (if Favre comes back), or a very average one.

- Ensemble casts
I am just gonna mention here that I always liked the Baltimore Ravens because of their entire defense. Ray Lewis was and still is the center of it, but when the Ravens defense is shutting teams down I really really enjoy it. The NY Jets are also a team with a lot of really likable players and a very strong defense, but they do tend to have awful fans.

- Someone maybe known for having a good kicker, because, why not right? Good for them, they're football players sort of!
Last year was a bad year for kickers. The SD Chargers have a well-regarded kicker (who also sometimes reviews movies for an alt-weekly in Iowa!) and an amazing punter. The Oakland Raiders also have an excellent kicker (who is also a drunk!) and an amazing punter.

- Teams at least sort of respected by the ILXors but maybe not with a whole bunch of out-and-out fans, so, you know, I can be one of the only fans of the team and still people won't wanna fight me
Speaking personally, I am delighted to have anyone join the GB Packers fanbase at any time, but I also to a greater or lesser degree enjoy watching the current forms of the San Diego Chargers, Miami Dolphins, Baltimore Ravens, pretty much everyone in the AFC South (Indianapolis, Tennessee, Houston, and Jacksonville, although to be honest I mostly like the Jags because their main offensive weapon is a former UCLA Bruin), NY Giants, New Orleans Saints, and San Francisco 49ers. I would like the Detroit Lions also but they play in the same division as Green Bay.

- A team that people don't hate in general
I hate the Vikings and Raiders for many reasons, and am annoyed with the Washington Redskins because I live in DC now. More commonly, people do not like the New England Patriots and some or all of the NFC East (especially Dallas). People seem to be getting annoyed with the Pittsburgh Steelers, even before their quarterback pulled his dick out in a bar.

- A city I might want to visit someday
Other than the big market teams (Giants & Jets & Bears), the Saints seem like the obvious choice here. Although I do enjoy the city of Denver a great deal. And I went to Green Bay, Wisconsin once, and had a wonderful time. But then I also enjoyed Minneapolis...

Storylines and qualities I'm not a fan of in a sports team:
- a reputation for having the most irritating fans (like the Philadelphia anythings)
Yeah definitely the Eagles. The NY Jets. Maybe the Raiders, but they suck too hard right now so you kind of pity them.

- a major money team that sucks the talent out of lower market teams (Yankees)
The NFL is not run in a way that supports this, really.

- An absolute Goliath (Manchester United, LA Lakers)
It is difficult to say that the Patriots are still a Goliath but I think as long as Belichick and Brady are around the memories of 2007 will remain and I will still think of them as inherently evil. The Colts in the Peyton Manning era are also consistently very very good, but they're usually flawed someone and also hanging around ILNFL eventually makes one give into Horseshoe's enthusiasm for her/our Peyty.

- An absolute David (Blackpool, Toronto Raptors)
Raiders, Rams, Browns, Lions, Chiefs...the fun thing about the NFL though is that at some point this will probably turn around. The Lions have one unbelievable WR plus a likeable and potentially very good QB and then they took two of my favorite college guys in the first round of this year's draft.

- A reputation for idiocy rather than sport (Philadelphia Flyers)
Raiders are basically run by an insane zombie. Lions are potentially at the end of a long long tunnel of idiocy, also.

- Teams built around a single player (Washington Capitals)
This is basically impossible in the NFL. Peyton Manning probably has more value over a replacement (particularly if his replacement is Curtis Painter, which it is) than any other player in football, and even then he has 0 control over the Colts defense. There are some crappy teams that are only worth watching for one player, but that's kinda different.

- Teams with too many fans on ILX (gotta rep, you know?)
I think a lot of ILNFL people are like me and have like one team they actually really live and die by, and then like five or ten other teams they like watching for some reason or another. There's usually only like one or two or three people who really are hardcore fans of a particular franchise, and then I think to some extent if you hang around ILNFL enough you begin to be like "OK fuck it the Miami Dolphins are awesome".

Not to mention that with the Iggles you inherent a rivalry with the most disgusting savage team in football instantly (the Cowboys!). And the Iggles are constant contenders, but lost the last time they went to the Superbowl (in 2004) and haven't won one ever. They're totally due, and you could get in on the ground floor! (They did win 3 NFL titles tho, so they have history too!)

Oh, and I'm sure daria could drop by and tell you this, but as a sometime admirer of Washington fans, I have to say: Stay away from the Redskins. They will break your <3.

Yeah I probably shoulda thrown the Redskins and their terrible terrible owner in the "Idiocy rather than sport" category.

I think Packers are a perfect choice for a new fan except that I find them so boring. Is Greg Jennings the most boring RB for a contender team?

Er, WR, I mean, of course.

Steelers QB is suspended for a while cause he pulled his dick out in a bar

Understatement!

Steelers are a good team to root for if you like a lot of rape storylines in your football.

Jingoistic sidenote: Iggles have former Collingwood booter/Australian Sav Rocca as their punter.

Fun comment I just ran into that helps explain why I love watching the Iggles so much (from the training camp notes: http://sports.espn.go.com/blog/nfceast/post/_/id/16494/camp-confidential-philadelphia-eagles ):

As I noted in my observations last week, Andy Reid's team hits harder than any of the other teams in the division during camp. We're not simply talking about thuds. I'm talking about linebackers taking ball carriers to the ground. This is how things were done about 20 years ago across the league. Roseman told me that the Eagles felt like it was important to quickly introduce the rookies to how physical the league is.

The biggest downside to rooting for Philly tho: Our team seems to have the hots for dog-abusers :/

Also booing Santa Claus

Meh, he deserved it.

everything C-L said in that long post is pretty otm. i do not recommend rooting for the jets or cowboys in terms of most-hated-on-ilnfl teams but otherwise it is a p diverse fanbase and i honestly would not have believed it possible that i would one day like the miami dolphins but that is what ilnfl has done to me. i have to say, too, who really cares about a long and storied history?

haha tbh i have nothing but respect and awe for the booing of Santa Claus, and whenever philly fans do stuff like that it reminds me of mordy's interpretation of david aker's pointing to god after he kicks a field goal as akers saying, "fuck you, god. fuck you in your fat face."

also you should take into account that aaron rodgers is v v cuet

omg horseshoe, i totally forgot I said that about akers. lol <3

it made me lol and lol

Broncos are my only dnw team. They made me cry >:(

Definitely no Cowboy, no Jets.

Packers: bros
Dolphins: bros
Colts: fun to watch, also lol peyton tantrums
Ravens: <3 their D, Flacco's kind of a bro
Cards: likeable, offer hope for sucky teams
Bengals: lols, drama, hand grenades
Pats: fun to hate on but sometimes I like them, and I kinda <3 Randy. There I said it.

Lolol mordy re Akers

Oh and Steelers: too rapey.

are there really no jets fans on ilnfl?

I've been considering sorta becoming a little bit of a jets fan

i think the thing is that prominent ilnflers like the schef and j0rdan hate the jets. and jets fans seem awful and not in a kind of awesome way like philly fans. also i kind of hate the jets. think forks is a jets fan, maye dave r was even though he doesn't post anymore.

oh then you are my sworn enemy

oh then you are my sworn enemy

yeah the jets... dont

the jets are al queda operatives.

all of them.

fuck you if you like the jets, straight up -- that's scum

ok, so re: Bengals, what is the chance that they sign Plaxico and also -- what is the chance that they reenact the plot of Slapshot?

fuck you if you like the jets, straight up -- that's scum

― J0rdan S., Monday, August 9, 2010 11:46 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

<3

rex ryan is the perfect coach for that team.

as I mentioned in the other thread I am basically a wanderer when it comes to nfl loyalties, I was just considering putting a toe in the JETS WATER so I had a nyc team to follow - that's all.

fuck you - that's all

gotta say, i respect a jets fan over a giants fan

but really, if i had to choose, i would choose the giants, objectively

they do elicit some srs corner envy

i want to punch eli in his babyface. i hate all his commercials.

also I like how jets/mets/nets rhymes - that is actually a major factor

the 2010 jets -- w/ the exception of mark sanchez (overrated) & shonn greene (legit dope) -- are just a bunch of whiny, overpaid, self-important, over the hill veterans

choose your own adventure imo

Why I dislike the Jets in 10 words or less:

"JAY EEE TEE ESS!!! JETS JETS JETS!!!"

iatee, i support your repudiation of the giants terror bloc

they do elicit some srs corner envy

― bnw, Monday, August 9, 2010 11:50 PM (16 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's true they have some really good players and yet somehow are always involved in the most boring, unending games in history

oh, u want, u rly want. how can this year be anything but AWEZ?!

http://www.gainesville.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Site=GS&Date=20100808&Category=ARTICLES&ArtNo=100809539&Ref=AR&MaxW=600&border=0

c'mon eli is awesome! he's so goofy

cromartie sucks

Why I dislike the Jets in 10 words or less:

"JAY EEE TEE ESS!!! JETS JETS JETS!!!"

― VegemiteGrrrl, Monday, August 9, 2010 11:51 PM (8 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

at the bills bar i used to go to in chicago, when we played the jets we used to chant JAY EEE TEE ESS!!! SUCK SUCK SUCK!!! now you can do so, too. you're welcome.

i do love the manning sibling psychodrama.

no go on the giants, would rather just have no nyc team

I dunno something about the long island loserness of jets fans just seems weirdly appealing

you shoot root for THERAMS, it is like cheering for roadkill to finish crossing the street

as yankees fans, the only things that redeem max & kevin k as humans imo is that they don't root for the jets

i don't think that there is anything appealing about long island

Just stand in a stadium with Jetheads chanting in your ear...I'll take "Raiiiiiiiiiderrrrrrrrrs" over that anyday, and on bad days that Raider chant could make me kill

I dunno I'm probably not gonna be a jets fan, sanchez is usc and I've always hated LT - I just liked the fat long island dude decked out in jets gear aesthetic. it's hard to explain.

i know this is some kind of blasphemy, but raiders fans are in my eyes a jug of mead away from being dressed for renn faire.

I like teams that blitz that much, and I like any dude who can alter the other team's strategy like Revis can, and I have residual Charger love for Tomlinson (who is also probably gonna be a sticking point for other people here, with the whole butthurted visor-helmet wearingness) and Cromartie, but it is just the whole Jets fans thing that makes me leery. Although their roster is basically like the Boston Celtics of football right now: http://www.newyorkjets.com/team/roster.html

Kris Jenkins! Bart Scott! LaDainian Tomlinson! Jason Taylor! Damien Woody! MARK BRUNELL! OK this team may either be awesome or hilarious and has like a 30% chance of being both, I may also end up enjoying them from afar. But then there was that like 9-6 Overtime game last year vs the Bills where I got physically angry at everyone for like the last fifteen minutes of the game and may have threatened to burn down a Buffalo Wild Wings. The Jets are a difficult team to unwrap, especially when there are a thousand drunken assholes screaming "T! I! T! S! TITS TITS TITS" at any random woman in the stands.

four months ago, the fan-of and not-a-fan-of lists would have put the broncos right up there. in the present, however, there is not much reason to watch them except for laughs.

saying this as a fan.

I don't get the anti-Jets thing. Maybe you have to be an east coaster?

yeah as a not east coaster I don't get it either, all east coast franchises seem about equally awful to me, at least. the whole fan thing is overstated, football fans are awful people everywhere. period. everywhere. awful people. the worst people who aren't in england, probably.

football fans are awful people everywhere. period. everywhere. awful people. the worst people who aren't in england, probably.

― iatee, Tuesday, August 10, 2010 12:00 AM (21 seconds ago) Bookmark

yes

paradoxically, football fans are the best people i know

i went to a dolphins-pats game last year and at the end i was really just like "this is the total worst! who wouldn't just stay home and watch on hd and eat dope subs?"

it's true football is bad for people

maybe if you can be an awesome charming bro and a football fan, you must be a really really awesome person

unless i was rich enough to get a skybox or like other primo rich ppl seats where everyone is just chill fans watching game

maybe if you can be an awesome charming bro and a football fan, you must be a really really awesome person

― Mordy, Tuesday, August 10, 2010 12:01 AM (19 seconds ago) Bookmark

well that's why we all love this board right?

Raiders/Renfaire: Mordy, you're not wrong. Tailgate is pretty much a macho-themed renfaire. much singing and ale sloshing and loud proclamations of prowess :)

like the idea that you can go to any one of these stadiums and it'll be filled with nice, good-natured people is so ridiculous.

football still the best sport on earth obv

iatee otm itt

it is a conundrum

college football is a different story

nfl games are for savages

i'm glad that nfl games are pretty much so expensive to go to that i can't even try and talk myself into going

Yeah I went to a Raiders game last year and was like this is truly the lowest form of humanity.

Going to games: stupidly simple observation but...

Awesome when you win.
Depressing when you lose.
The worst kind of pointlessness when you get blown out.

haha my dad took my sisters and me to a bills game ONCE when we were kids because he thought it would be good family fun and i think he was traumatized for years

sadface but if you are spending your money on a football game you're prob scrimping on essential shit like nutritious food, psychiatric medication, therapy...

I just like seeing it played for realz in front of me. I'm kind of addicted. But assholes sadly are a prerequisite among fans.

go to cal games vegemite!

it is hard to beat that "who dat" shit last year of total annoying stfu jerk

If you have a good tailgate crew, it can make all the difference.

We go about 4 times a year to Raider home games, and the games are the worst form of masochism but it's rare that we have a straightup sucky time.

i feel like i would be okay w/ going to a raiders game cuz at least i'd know what i was getting into

i would have no pretense of being joined by respectable human life, so i would just embrace it all

xposts: totally wiil, iatee! want to take my father inlaw to a Cal game. He used to play for the UoP Tigers & loves him some college ball. I've never been to a college game!

college games are super fun

xpost: Jordan you would be welcome among our disrespectable crew :)

college games are super fun - doesn't even matter who's playing - and memorial stadium is way nicer than raiders stadium

man this thread was all like WILL M. YOU ARE GETTING EXCITED ABOUT SPORTS and it quickly went into some THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS NOT TO PLAY shit here. i am skinny and my glasses are purple and i listen to the knife, i can NEVER GO WATCH FOOTBALL w/o potential misdirected hate crime.

BUT NEVER MIND THAT

Teams I was already thinking "no" to, solidified by this thread:

1. Cleveland Browns (seems too depressing)
2. Dallas Cowboys (nope nope nope)
3. New England Patriots (kind of exactly what I'm not looking for in a team)
4. Philadelphia Eagles (despite the lols it just seems a bad call)
5. Pittsburgh Steelers (maybe i have a pennsylvania hate-on or something, but something about this team has repulsed me since i was a child)
6. Carolina Panthers (i have a weird irrational hate for early-90s expansion teams: ducks, sens, lightning, FL panthers, marlins, etc. i think it's because the rich kids in school would buy the hats just to show that they were so rich and their hats were SO NEW. nothing on this thread has made me think "boy, I should give a shit about this team from north carolina," which in my head has always been called The Also-Ran State. Also fuck the Hurricanes.)
7. Jacksonville Jaguars (see above, plus miami's the only city in FL i think i could ever go to, EVER, without being bummed out, abnd that's where jacksonville is right?) (i don't know anything abt florida i am canadian)
8. New York Giants (no real reason to dig them, I was a fan for an evening when they ruined the pats perfect season but I just can't see it turning into a real relationship)

Teams I was considering, but this thread changed my mind:

1. Minnesota Vikings (i had a super nintendo game with warren moon when i was a kid, seemed cool, but the whole favre/hate/etc thing is making me second guess this)
2. New York Jets (i had no idea they were the worst, i thought since they were the jankier team from the big market that they'd be fun in a sad way, like the mets or tottenham or the... uh, expos in a way, i guess -- but never mind!!!)

Teams I was thinking "no" until this thread made me reconsider:

1. Baltimore Ravens (first of all thanx to Bmore for the MTL Alouettes in CFL. second, this defense sounds intriguing)
2. Green Bay Packers (i thought they were a total 1990-2010 bandwagon team that was crumbling but this ENSEMBLE CAST (!) sounds exciting! plus all that effort C-L put into his post i almost feel like i owe ihm one!)
3. Miami Dolphins (my entire concept of this team in my head was dan marino & ace ventura pet detective, but this gonzo football thing has me REALLY excited)

I'm still not sold:

1. Indianapolis Colts (storyline of the better brother who won a super bowl is less exciting than the storyline of the less better brother who still won a super bowl, and also, not sure what i would get from this aside from "peyton freakouts" which i am not sure what that means? he seemed pretty boring on SNL!)
2. Oakland Raiders (the selling point is crying in the rain?)
3. New Orleans Saints (i'm not convinced this wouldn't feel A. bandwagonyand B. weirdly charity-y... NO was just never on my cultural radar as a canadian aside from mardi gras until katrina and now there's this weird "aww... you guys... you'll be okay" feeling in the media that makes me kinda uncomfortable, like it's weirdly condescending on "those plucky but tragic new orleanians" -- this is clearly a complicated relationship)

Teams I've considered, but heard nothing about:

1. Cincinnati Bengals (i have a weird love for cincinnati, ever since i randomly picked the Reds to be my sad little baseball team 5 years ago, and maybe i should keep that love going)
2. Kansas City Chiefs (i also have a weird attraction to the city of KC? NO idea why!)
3. Chicago Bears (i am trying to figure out if they're more like the 1990 hawks (hate), the 2008 hawks (love), or the 19XX cubs (lol) before I make up my mind)
4. Arizona Cardinals (what's their deal? aren't they on a cover of madden or something?)
5. Seattle Seahawks (one of my fave lol stories of the past few years (i work in vidya games) is the dude trying to boycott madden because his running speed was too low!!!! WHAT A CHARACTER THIS GUY! does he even still play in seattle?)

but football is beeeeaaautiful on tv

there are many hilarious peyton manning commercials

he seemed pretty boring on SNL!

another sworn enemy

truthfully, i don't think the colts meet your criteria

3. Miami Dolphins (my entire concept of this team in my head was dan marino & ace ventura pet detective, but this gonzo football thing has me REALLY excited)

yeah the dolphins are a youngish/underdogish/gonzoish team now -- i mean, if you want an ensemble cast!

the colts are too good to outright adopt

i have a hard time caring about the seahawks at all or even remembering they're in the league

the bengals are an ilx clusterfuck thread turned into an nfl team

haha

follow ochocinco on twitter/facebook and you will have reason to be a bengals fan.

i have a hard time caring about the seahawks at all or even remembering they're in the league

― horseshoe, Tuesday, August 10, 2010 12:19 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

lol

everyone otm

as yankees fans, the only things that redeem max & kevin k as humans imo is that they don't root for the jets

― J0rdan S., Monday, August 9, 2010 11:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

there is a well known jets/mets axis

fucking despicable

I remember looking at a chart of it once, jets/mets is queens+li

chart meaning like, percentage of fans and where

map was probably a better word

it really wasn't a chart at all

map

anyone who would choose mark sanchez over eli manning... i dont know what to say, i just dont

fucking exactly

i mean i would be all--"you are the moral equivalent of a man who murdered a baby" but... i dont even think i would want to put any thought into a person once they expressed that preference

the bengals are actually maybe the best choice purely on the grounds that they have the highest % chance of being entertaining to follow (110%) and he needs a team that keeps his interest. but the only problem is he will immediately realize that he is following a team of bad human beings* instead of gradually as he would with a normal team.

*not as bad as football fans or british people tho

Raiders = crying in the rain?

Yup. Pretty much.

chad ochocinco is not a bad human being i'll kill you

true fact: i mixed up "ochocinco" and "he hate me" for some reason

i was like "you mean that dude from the xfl?"

i'm canadian i'm sorry

rooting for the seahawks would be kind of hilarious tbh

i mean, not for you

for people that you meet

i too think the bungles are the correct choice here.

Lol max

took me far too longto realize what iggles and bungles were :/

one thing we haven't discussed is what colors look best on you

he has purple glasses, which i think would go well with either a bengals or dolphins jersey

they're more of a burgundy tbh bt most punch-happy bros are partially color blind

raiders get points for looking sort of like THUNDERDOME at least in the picture of the fan on wikipedia.

raiders have great, great unis

"i know this is some kind of blasphemy, but raiders fans are in my eyes a jug of mead away from being dressed for renn faire."

This made me laugh. I always think of Mad Max when I think about Raider's fans.

http://phoenix.fanster.com/files/2008/08/raidersfans.jpg

http://www.sportaphile.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/raiders-sign-bowl-of-oatmeal.jpg

raiders are basically post-football to the extent that the game doesn't even matter anymore

maybe you should be a raiders fan

Raiders unis are TITE!! Primary colors are for babies :)

I will teach you about crying in the rain

maybe you should be a raiders fan

― iatee, Tuesday, August 10, 2010 12:47 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

let's not talk crazy

Party pooper

Teams I've considered, but heard nothing about:

Bears actually hit a whole lot of your list. They got the history. They have the legends. Midwestern. They are popular but not really a hip team at all. They have some boorish fans, but other than some poisoning, are probably a bit less vicious than your Eagles or Browns fans. They also have some pretty nice uniforms, classy. How good will they be? I have no idea. I could buy them going 13-3 or 5-11 depending on how things go. Bears seem to go hot and cold, so they were not that good last year, which could mean they are good this year. I think the core of that defense is starting to get old, but I could buy the offense being better.

Bengals are ramping up the freakshow and I am not that into it to be honest, as it is kind of hard to really get excited about Pacman Jones and TO playing for your club. From the local media, people are expecting them to be pretty good, which is kind of scary and unusual. Cincy fans are pretty negative really, they have been living off past glory and unfulfilled promises for a long time, they just maybe don't get on TV for being stupid yet. To be honest, they still probably get more broken up by the Buckeye's letting them down, which they usually do.

Raiders should be better just by the fact they don't have Russell playing QB. Criminy that dude by himself probably held them back a couple of wins last year. They were bordering on competent once they benched that bozo. They have the history. They have the best logo in the NFL and the silver and black is really sharp.

We made some good draft picks too! :D

my final list before I go to bed, 3 honest recs, I entirely support the idea of these teams:

packers
- good traditional 20th century fun football

bengals
- 21st century football where it's basically a reality tv show w/ lots of divas and the arguments and stuff people say is more important than the game that was just played

raiders
- 22nd century football - zombies in control of the world, game of football basically doesn't exist anymore, entire population is in jail / looks like they're in jail / should be in jail, you are the reality tv show and it is everywhere

Let me make a quick case for the Raiders: they had a number of years of terrible decisions and terrible people, but suddenly they are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel a bit. They have upgraded from the worst, most pathetic QB in the league to a totally admirable mediocre guy. They have exciting young playmakers who have not accomplished much and have suffered a few years of anonymity. Their coach is a tough offensive line guy who beats up his own staff when they undermine him. They are unglamorous, have great uniforms, have a great fan base who really care about the team (but also are seriously deluded people for the most part). They have the little brother thing to the 49ers, who have had more success and a sort of white wine-drinking reputation (which is total bullshit fwiw). They are owned by a crazy old kook who is one of the most influential figures in the history of the sport, who is a menace to virtually everyone except his fans and his players. He gave more opportunities to black players, coaches, etc. than just about anyone.

And I'm saying this as someone who has despised the Raiders my entire life. I think it's a pretty good time to become a Raiders fan.

I'm ashamed that I was too filled with self loathing to make that case myself

But yes to all of that

And don't forget Ice Cube

loving this thread. 21st century raiders is loltastic.

Totally went all in on Raider fandom last year. Join me in the madness!

My first Yahoo FF draft is in 2 hours, I am stoked! I am definitely going to grab some Raiders, some Dolphins, some Bengals, and some Packers. And some Bears and Chargers too even.

what teams are shown most often on tv in montreal? like if you decide you're a raiders fan, uh, you will probably never see them play unless you go out to a bar every week (which is ok, just fyi)

i have v negative feelings abt a lot of nfl teams, i have realized

Prolly see a lot of the Packers games in Montreal? Maybe?

I'm pretty sure the Canadian sports networks have no blackouts and no allegiance and will mostly show the most populist games of the week, every week. This probably means a lot of NE/NY/NY/Pittsburgh. I live about 2 blocsk from a sports bar. I can handle having to go out.

I voted Bears, but I really think the Ravens would be a good one to hitch your wagon to.

who'd you get will?

who did i get? what do you mean?

oh in the ff league... yeah... the live draft wouldn't open on my work computer, so i didn't get to actually do it. :( going to try again tomorrow or tonight.

it did auto-draft me chris johnson though, and the baltimore D, and joe flacco and one of his wrs (anquan boldin?) so it seems like a decent enoguh start.

not bad for a robo-draft!

there's only one draft, so unless you're gonna join a league, you got what you got. it's probably a good that you autodrafted instead of picking raiders players.

a good *thing

i meant, like, joining a second league -- but i think this will be okay, in fact.

oh gotcha

yeah chris johnson will keep you entertained

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

i think i wanna trade away my de facto vikings affiliation for something better

mostly because i hate the unis, really.

and the metrodome is one of the worst places in the world

tho i am planning to more fully embrace my UMN fandom this fall---tho, honest q having been to precisely one college football game (go big green lol): do they do all the same fucking retarded commercial breaks?? i went to my first (and last) vikings game w/my pops last fall and sitting in the stands and waiting while people at home watched commercials or like got up for snacks or changed the channel or w/e was among the worst experiences of my ENTIRE LIFE.

College football games take longer on average than pro football games, and there's the same 60 minutes of actual game time, so, yeah, the dead time is actually kinda worse. College basketball will get you in and out in just about two hours every single time, but they've had to try all sorts of stupid tricks just to keep college football games at three and a half.

But I will say that UMN's new outdoor stadium looked phenomenal the couple of times I saw it on TV last year.

I dunno about your NFL needs but really any choice you make to replace the Vikings will by necessity be a step forward. Unless it is the Raiders, in which case I will be disappointed.

tho one caveat, imo Aaron Rodgers doesn't have a whole lot of personality.

*sighs*

http://5secondfilms.com/watch/fantasy_football/

And I can't even find that .gif of Aaron Rodgers celebrating a touchdown by doing the WWE "phantom belt" gesture

are there really no jets fans on ilnfl?

― iatee, Monday, August 9, 2010 11:42 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark

um, i am a Jets fan. i am also an Eagles fan. i guess i just have a thing for teams w/ asshole fans.

but while Jets and Eagles fans may be assholes, at least they aren't douchebags (like so many Cowboys fans are). not to mention that if you have the history that either the Jets or Eagles have, and see how pleasant you'd be.

Stay away from the Redskins. They will break your <3.

this is true. i don't have a choice! still, i voted for them. skins could use some new fans. also they have a lot of personality. the official redskins blogger is a good read. though sadly, no more FRED SMOOT this season, not to mention yoder, colt brennan (who i keep forgetting never played a down in a real NFL game, but who made many appearances on the cooleyblog)

i'm still calling plays for them til coach shanahan tells me otherwise, so stay tuned! it'll be a fun season no doubt. he's not on our team anymore but we're still taking inspiration from todd yoder on naming the plays after small furry animals.

"About Todd? Well, he would be our resident linguist. I would have to add [Chris] Cooley to this, because they're kind of partners in crime. But Todd is very good about creating words for formations, blocking schemes. Like, weasel, squirrel, things like that. So we have some of that on our football team just based on what Todd Yoder has to say about it."

So I talked to Yoder yesterday about his role as developer of team nomenclature, and about facing his former team.

"Welp, first of all," Yoder said, "any small furry mammal qualifies. See, if you look at the animal world, there's a lot of things like lions, tigers, eagles ... you know, people like to use all these names. Bears. But the small furry mammal is overlooked.

"So we thought that just to add a little enthusiasm, we'd name some of these plays or calls or words that we need in our offense after small furry mammals. So you've got, like, weasel, beaver. We're still looking to try to get muskrat and mongoose into the gameplan. Wombat is a new one that Cooley came up with. That's a good one.

"You know, there's a lot of other ones. Squirrel is in, obviously. You could go chipmunk, woodchuck ... there really are a lot of them out there. I would say right now we've got, like, four in. And we're trying to get some of the other ones."

Mongoose would really seem to be a no-brainer. Vicious little creatures.

Yoder: "Right, exactly. Thank you. You've got ferret ... why wouldn't you want to have a 'ferret' call in your offense."

Does Coach Zorn seem happy with this trend?

Yoder: "I think the combination of Chris Cooley and myself, we've come up with some good stuff, and it makes sense."

Key factors at play for me.

No top dogs. You want a team which, if it succeeds, you will be especially thrilled, for you never expected much beyond a .500 season. By the same token, no doormats, either, or your spirit will be crushed week after week.

Next, pick a team whose mascot and uniform make you feel good. You can always find a few players with compelling personal stories and personalities to root for on any team, but a crappy uniform or mascot will haunt you forever.

If you are still undecided among several teams, pick the team associated with the city that you'd most like to live in, of the remaining cities.

I assigned you the Arizona Cardinals. Feel free to ignore this choice in favor of your own.

I am still waiting for the Portland Wombats to enter the league before I give my heart away.

One of my all-time favorite moments on ILNFL is when someone (I don't remember who) transcribed the dialogue between the NFL commissioner and Cleveland when Cleveland got a team and someone can probably dig up the exact quote but it was something like:
Comm: You can have any mascot or theme you want. Birds, animals, badass professions, anything cool like that.
Cleveland: We want the color brown.
Comm: I've made a terrible mistake.

here

it was Ally

oh man, it was even better than i remembered it

COMMISH: HELLO CLEVELAND YOU NOW HAVE A FOOTBALL TEAM YOU CAN PICK ANY KIND OF ANIMAL OR GOD OR REALLY WHATEVER YOU LIKE AS YOUR MASCOT, ANYTHING IN THE WORLD EXCEPT LIKE A BEAR, OR A GIANT BASICALLY. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

CLEVELAND RESIDENTS: UM WE WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THE COLOR BROWN

COMMISH: WE'VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE HERE HAVEN'T WE OH WELL HERE YOU GO

what is brown even supposed to be in reference to? anything?

i still like cleveland browns mroe than like cleveland indians, or wash redskins -- it feels weird to cheer for a reference to race

the only choice that makes sense are the Cleveland Browns

-scrappy over the hill QB named Jake has to prove to himself and the free world that he can still play at least one more year. His daughter only has 16 games to live, which adds extra drama
-no logo on the helmet
-Browns fans are handsome
-Mike Holmgren has to turn a bunch of rag-tag misfits into a competitive football team or else

Browns are named after their coach, Paul Brown, the inventor of modern football

yeah, the indian-named teams in the nfl are a fucking disgrace. chiefs, too. america is weird!

xxpost <3 brownie

it isn't only america.

cfl's EDMONTON ESKIMOS! term is possibly even more offensive than "redskins" or "indians" for first nations... at least they dont have a cartoon dude mascot, liek the chiefs i think it's just letters and words

School me on my ignorance, but why is Edmonton Eskimos worse than Washington Redskins?

"Eskimos" appropriates a specific tribe for commercial degradation, rather than a broad general category, and it gets the name wrong, too. They're Inuit.

Ok, I hear that, but I still think using a derogatory term for an entire race trumps any kind of tribal exploitation.

I'd tend to agree with that assessment, too. Redskins is more akin to the n-word.

At least the Redskins' logo shoes a bit of dignity. The Cleveland Indians' mascot (aka "Chief Yahoo") is the exact equivalent of a watermelon-eating wide-grinning cartoon Negro from the 1930s. The fact that they persist in keeping it, in the face of this being pointed out to them repeatedly, throws a racist cloud over all of MLB.

maybe after we figure out which one is worse we can come up with a measurement to figure out exactly how much worse it is

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

omg 2 people voted the bills! i love u crazy people!

on the other hand:

FOOTBALL IS THE WORST YOU BUM 4

>:[

is chicago really considered mid-market? does this mean that only NY and LA are major markets? how could anyone root for the bears with Jay Cutler as quarterback unless it is rooting for one of his teammates to knock him out when he's crying? on the other hand rooting for the lions is a pressure free existence "you start out depressed, everything else is a pleasant surprise" or something like that.

packers fandom seems like a legit smart way 2 go

i don't think chicago is considered mid-market, no; that seems crazy.

chicago is big-market.

there is the chicago-montreal *connection* that i made up in my head, though

also FOOTBALL IS THE WORST YOU BUM.

my understanding was similar to this blogpost, which is opposite to aimless' explanation. "eskimo" is preferred in alaska because it does not refer to a specific "tribe," but rather is inclusive of two distinct first nations groups. of course, i guess in canada where the football team actually plays, eskimo is considered offensive.

xpost

green bay lols, they are like celtics fans of football.

I dunno, we are probably more polite and more likely to die of heart disease than Celtics fans.

So is Will going for the Packers?

Yay Pack!

I like to think my vote last night was the deciding factor. The cheesehead hat is already in the mail, Will.

Okay, based on the talk & the polls I have created 5 'tiers', final decision will be made once i watch a few games this year. It might even take me a whole season but I hope not.

TEAMS I WON'T BE ADOPTING:
Buffalo (sorry mr. shoe but I can't root for a team that might end up in Toronto)
Denver
Washington
Pittsburgh
NY Jets
New England
Atlanta
Jacksonville
Seattle
Kansas City
Dallas
Carolina
New Orleans
NY Giants

TEAMS I WILL PROBABLY NOT ADOPT UNLESS SOMETHING REALLY JUMPS OUT OF NOWHERE TO CHANGE MY MIND:
San Francisco
Philadelphia
St. Louis
Tampa Bay
Arizona
Cleveland
Houston

TEAMS WITH AN OUTSIDE CHANCE THAT I MAY PAY SOME ATTENTION:
Minnesota (what's up with that 2nd place showing!)
Cincinnati (not sure I am on board for a circus)
Tennessee
San Diego
Chicago

TEAMS WITH AN INSIDE CHANCE, I WILL DEFINITELY PAY ATTENTION:
Oakland
Detroit
Baltimore
Indianapolis

TEAMS THAT ARE LOOKING MOST LIKELY:
Green Bay
Miami

yay! i think you will be happy with gb or miami

nb: i did not vote for the bills; i would never wish that misery on another human being

likely story mr. horseshoe

was mr. shoe a gaffe on my part :S

haha i'm a chick; it's okay!

if it's any consolation one of my fave players OAT (i used to watch some CFL when iwas a kid) spent some of his twilgiht years in buffalo! FLUTIE!

flutie is an angel straight from heaven; we done him wrong

So did the Bears.

packers and dolphins are fine, fine choices.

SIX YEARS LATER, A RESPONSE

So I started trying to get into an individual team but instead ended up doing the thing that I usually do to get into a sport: playing the fantasy version.

So initially, the year before I got into my fantasy fb league, I think it was Russell Wilson's rookie year? And I got really excited watching this dude. So, the Seahawks became my team! Wilson! Lynch! People hitting each other hard! But then they won a Super Bowl, and I had never bought a jersey, so it felt gauche to continue being a fan of them.

Then when I started playing fantasy football I got Luck and Hilton, so I sort of became a defacto Colts fan. They've probably moved to #1 on my "fave" chart if someone asked me w/ a gun to my head. Second place may be Green Bay (but it feels weird to cheer for a team that's so often good), third place changes based on the year (for example: Carolina last year, because <3 Cam Newton).

I had forgotten about this thread until I saw someone on FB essentially ask the same question, and I remembered iatee's spectacular 20th/21st/22nd century post and had to reshare it. Then I realized I should follow up b/c you all care so much about my pick here.

It may be time for me to actually put my money where my mouth is and pick the Dolphins for real! I LOVE TEAL, ask anyone. I have a hornets jacket, a saraperos de saltillo baseball cap... plus Miami seems like a fun place to go, and... well, I guess I'll learn some players to get excited about. Tannehill is kinda boring.

http://imgur.com/a/NmnV4

Oddly I was thinking this question earlier today and I came up with the Dolphins too

Packers Packers Packers

some of this thread is p funny hindsightwise

honestly tho, we have a whole bunch of dolphin fans on ilx and we definitely do not need any more. to the best of my knowledge/recollection the teams i do not think we have ever had fans of/allegiance with are: detroit, tampa, carolina, indy(?? seems wrong but can't think who), houston, arizona, kc

i'll try to be the token indy fan because big andrew luck is great. i don't watch many games tho. no cable & also i'd rather watch baseball or netflix.

i have an enormous deadline this week for work so what am i doing? finding old threads i remembered and doing a little retrospective

first of all, a post that i think about ALL OF THE FUCKING TIME:

my final list before I go to bed, 3 honest recs, I entirely support the idea of these teams:

packers
- good traditional 20th century fun football

bengals
- 21st century football where it's basically a reality tv show w/ lots of divas and the arguments and stuff people say is more important than the game that was just played

raiders
- 22nd century football - zombies in control of the world, game of football basically doesn't exist anymore, entire population is in jail / looks like they're in jail / should be in jail, you are the reality tv show and it is everywhere

― iatee, Tuesday, August 10, 2010 1:01 AM (eleven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

one of my fave posts of all time. it lives in my mind permanently. i cant see the logo for the raiders without thinking "22nd century football"

i made an update 6 years ago saying how i became a seahawks fan but then they won and i felt weird being a fan of a team that won (even though i signed up before they won? whatever) and switched to the colts bc luck, but that O-line bummed me (and luck!) out, i floated around until i fell in love with lamar jackson and just became a ravens fan from the day he was drafted til today (i was NOT HAPPY they were gonna try and make him play rb). so i guess that is where im at, i will never be a permanent fan of any team at this point tho, got into it too old, i live on the bandwagon.

it is also really funny to read about why teams are good and bad from 11 years ago because those reasons are extremely no longer the case aside from a couple. football careers sure arent long eh

green bay never stuck for me, seemed too boringly good and now its esier that we know rodgers is a dildo

this thread reminds me how chill the dolphins logo and colors are though so maybe i'll give them a second chance in 2022

or i guess a third chance because i said i'd give them a second look in 2016, oops