NAMING RIGHTS THREAD: Liverpool really won't win the Premiership 2010-2011

Let's do this.

thread title feels a bit wrong, other years some people were saying pool would win it.

Silly prediction:

Champions: Man Utd.
CL qualifiers: 2. Chelsea 3. Spurs 4. Man City
EL qualifiers: 5. Liverpool 6. Everton 7. Newcastle United
Relegated: Blackpool/West Ham/Birmingham
Promoted: Watford, Coventry, Hull
Top Scorer: Andy Carroll
Player of the Year: Darren Fletcher
Good signings: Nicky Shorey, Pawel Abbott, Sol Campbell
Hooky signings: everyone West Ham have signed
First manager sacked: Avram Grant
Managers who won't see out the season: Steve Bruce/Avram Grant/Alex McLeish

FA Cup: Spurs
League Cup: Arsenal

Main reiteration: West Brom won't go down

It's a temporary thread title to be changed at a later date, but yes point taken. Think people were having thread title paralysis.

Man City won't win it though.

Louis you are tipping Arsenal to finish 8th, below Newcastle?

:D

am actually enjoying having no expectations for this season.

Same here actually, we know we probably won't top last season so as long as we're there or thereabouts I'm kind of happy.

well done Matt

Looking at my FFL team trying to work out which Wigan player will have an amazing season right out of nowhere.

gah, this walk on to the pitch, line up, shake hands thing's a load of bollocks isn't it. you're supposed to run out on to the pitch roaring like a man possessed!

Well I'm much more excited than I thought I would be.

Revised predictions, to be regretted at leisure:
- Spurs to win today
- but City to win the league
- United, Chelsea, Liverpool for the CL
- then Everton, Arsenal, Spurs
- goodbye Blackpool, West Brom, Wigan

cracking opening, this

^^^

yomp!

mancini out

he made the right call re: goalkeeper!

Joe. Motherfucking. Hart.

FALSE FACTS #!: "Motherfucking" is a family name on his mother's side.

"I'm sorry that I'm leaving Inter and Italy because I would have preferred to continue my career in my own country," read a statement on his own website.

'I don't really want to be here' is a good start for Super M, but I hope it escalates soon.

Do Arsenal have an actual goalkeeper yet?

i hate this tho, hart makes a few saves and it's like "oh god he is JUSTIFYING mancini". he's supposed to make saves, it's his job. given is definitely a better keeper than a one good season guy like hart, you know he'll be in massive howler country in 2/3 weeks.

tho whoever they play is going to need to be good with this appalling defence

who is this commentator on my stream pointing out that different languages have different words for things.

So Spurs r gonna win the league, rite?

Surprise CL semifinalists, fade badly in the league imo

Who is this gimp presenting? And where are Robinho and Mascherano going to be this season?

think you guys are maybe seeing the ESPN-USA broadcast?

Richard Keys won't be on this thing.

Andy Gray on holding midfielders: "Argh, too many of them. Ruined the World Cup". Which was won by Spain, who played 2 holding midfielders.

I vaguely know the face - is it the druggy blue peter guy?

It's Ben Shephard from The Xtra Factor.

also GMTV!

And Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince according to Wikipedia!

Ben plays the role of a father of four children in the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes shop. He is noticeable (behind a beard and moustache) just before Ron acknowledges his new love interest.

=-o. he certainly has all the credentials for this job.

http://i36.tinypic.com/16kqkjq.jpg

...great way to start the season here.

Ha, just realised that the Sky team today is Ben, Glenn and Sven.

who's the ben?

Ben Shephard of Xtra Factor, GMTV and Harry Potter fame!

quite glad i am too lazy to do a lil b-en shephard.jpg

Why do I look forward to this day then feel like I'm gonna be sick.

West Brom are so going down btw, and I don't say that out of malice.

Jesus we seem to be playing 5-3-2. Nice to be injury riddled at the start of a season. Fucking Keogh on the bench oh god

lol Kenwyne Jones limps off

stewart downing = first goal of the season?

Fletcher looking lively. Stoke looking kicky.

Wolves 6 inches from a penalty.

BUT SCORE FROM THE AWESOME FREE KICK INSTEAD

Karl Henry taps it to Jones, who flicks it up on his foot and rifles it over the wall into the top corner.

2-0 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGH

black motherfucking pool

OMG Blackpool best opening day ever

Our second goal was Fletcher's first of the season, apparently. Was too busy running round the dining room screaming to check the replay.

lolz. I now feel that Blackpool are going to finish the season with 6 points, Wigan with 0.

Well, that was a pretty fantastic first half. Fletcher's been tremendous, and the two Spanish lads on the commentary seem to agree.

Fucking hell Blackpool!

Keogh on for Fletcher, think I could hear my old man throw himself off the roof in the background.

Kenwyne Jones just came out to the bench on crutches.

herewego.jpg

The BBC's 'as it stands' table really comes into its own on opening day.

Watching Mick McCarthy start a neat, exciting 11 and then gradually fucking ruin it with insane substitutions over the course of 90 minutes is one of the most mysterious spectacles in football.

Fuck's sake we bought another couple of centre halfs can we drop Berra now?

So having come on as a sub at 50 minutes, Keogh gets subbed off at 90.

Jesus this season might kill me.

Delap winds up one last long throw and it slips out of the back of his hands and goes about 5 yards

Phew.

Reservations aside we played 45 great minutes and beating Stoke is almost as satisfying as feeding Tony Pulis feet first into a wood chipper would be.

Afternoon only kinda spoiled by jammy fucking Birmingham. Bruce Out.

Also spoiled by Fletcher's foot apparently being in a cast following delightful Stoke-esque stud high challenge from some twat I couldn't make out on the stream.

i fall asleep during the middle of the day and the world turns upside down huh?

oh wait a team with tits bramble loses a 2-0 lead, world is on its right axis.

I crawled jetlagged out of bed in northern Illinois, only to find my father-in-law putting on the (mostly a bit dull) last third of Spurs - Man City on the telly. Alexei Lalas, I was prepared for. Robbie Mustoe I was not.

325-1 for Blackpool to win 4-0

I'd offer twice that against anyone having took that bet

this game has the look of the epic thrashings Chelsea were dishing out at the end of last season.

Forgot there was another match on. Am a bit spent. Poor Baggies.

http://i38.tinypic.com/15gpms8.jpg

love holloway

now that's what I call a bad wall.

Have to say the ball magically going through the ball-shaped hole that formed in the West Brom wall was kind of magic, tho.

Has Ian Holloway made a quip about getting a nose in front in the title race yet?

Also managerless Aston Villa putting three past them = West Ham look fucked.

^^^this.

5 minutes w/ Holloway, cannot be fucked to listen atm but will later as I'll miss motd

Schwarzer has handed in an official transfer request, hopefully we can get it sorted before... tomorrow's game.

'Chelsea firing out a title warning to Blackpool here', and other assorted quarter-lols.

Y'all need to follow carlycole10 on Twitter.

The MOTD credits feature Lawrie Cunningham. Bit geeked.

Holy heck, Wigan are fucking awful. Their defending for all Blackpool's goals was disastrous.

ha, tannoy announcement asking that someone go home to his in-labour wife.

I was ANGRY at Zamora for only getting me 1 FF point today, but that bold attempt to chip the keeper gets him back in my good books.

http://ezpicshare.com/images/bigsamhead.jpg

I headed out after the highlights of the Blackpool game - Blackpool are interesting. The 4-3-3 clearly works for them; Taylor-Fletcher is not a man overburdened with pace but looks capable of putting a fair few full-backs in difficulty; Ormerod's persistence coupled with Harewood's physicality will give lots of people trouble; and Grandin, about whom no-one seems to know anything, was making plenty of probing surges from midfield. On paper, they should be DOA, but on paper they shouldn't have been anywhere near the play-off picture last season, and here we are...

we were good today, midfield lost their way in the 2nd half though. crouch is still a 2nd string target man.

no mention of the peno we should have had anywhere. i guess we're not a big club yet.

Didn't Kirkland used to be a half decent keeper? How did he end up worse than Blackburn's 3rd choice?

I think the general problem with Kirkland (forgetting yesterday) is that he's one of those cripples who can't actually train properly. And he's presumably, unlike King, not considered good enough to be worth the bother.

I think if Spurs can continue playing like that and sharpen up their finishing then they'll be a pretty terrifying prospect for a lot of teams this season. Obviously we should have started with Pavlyuchenko instead of Crouch but then I always say that. There aren't many teams who will line up as defensively as Man City did yesterday. Oh shit, it's Stoke away next.

The MOTD opening sequence this year is kind of fantastic but doesn't indicate a great deal of enthusiasm about the current Premiership crop.

I won a competition to watch Liverpool train at the club's Academy in 2003. Chris Kirkland was by himself working with a couple of doctors/physios, having photos taken of him in various positions (presumably to analyse body shape/movement?). I was also lucky enough to be shown around Melwood a couple of years later. Went into the gym, and Chris Kirkland's there, on his own, on a treadmill, recovering from another injury.

Also yeah Chelsea clearly going to win their first four or five games 5-0 and then suffer an inexplicable collapse in form.

By at least 5-0 I mean.

Even with that piffling 2-0 v Liverpool queering the pitch, 23 goals in four games (with none conceded) has to be a Prem record right?

Wigan must be closing in fast on the opposite record.

What was the competition, Chris?

The training at the Academy thing was just a "What number does Michael Owen wear?" kind of question on the official site. There were about 10 winners and we could all take someone with us, so I went with my Dad. At the end all the players gathered around and Phil Thompson had a word with them, "Great session", etc. Funny that when Gerard Houllier started talking all the players had to move closer towards him; very softly spoken. Had our photo taken with the squad, met a few of the players. I remember John Arne Riise being particularly sound. Carra was hilarious, taking the training games deadly seriously, screaming his head off. For some reason they all called Bernard Diomede (remember him!) 'JoJo'. No idea why. Maybe he was a fan of the singer.

Did he leave his home in Tucson, Arizona for the California grass?

I remember him being amazing in Championship Manager 97/98 and a disaster in my Fantasy League team, yes.

Wonder if Fabregas' "chest infection" is the same "chest infection" Almunia had last season?

Masch's beard is terrific, shame it won't be in our league come Sept 1st.

arsenal look good, very direct. nasri has been excellent so far.

Loving Woy's tactics of 'ok, give it back to Arsenal in our own half whenever we get the ball'.

FUCK YOU JOE COLE

Joe Cole's bogus journey.

ok not as bad as i thought but you know shawcross/taylor.

good to know we only have 1 centre half now.

If it was Gerrard who did that he'd have booked Koscielny.

Liverpool fans booing as Kosielny goes past them on a stretcher = classy.

fuck, i was about to come and moan about andy gray being a prick for not understanding zonal marking, but no way was that worse than wilshere's foul on masch.

bring back Sol.

Another game ruined by moronic refereeing. If cole's was a red so was wilshere's.

is there actually not another central defender on the arsenal bench?

WENGER: SILVESTRE'S RETURN WILL INSPIRE US

xp Technically no, but Song can play there

Why isn't van persie playing? Injured?

Song's kind of a central defender, right? An unfit kind of central defender.

yeah, so i know he's andy gray and i should completely ignore him, but christ. he does his "rafa's zonal marking is shite" thing, then says that every single liverpool player is marking a man, even though gerrard and masch are clearly marking zones!

and breathe.

lol andy gray. yeah cole's was most probably just a yellow on replay, as was wilshere's.

van Injury isn't actually injured, he's just not been in training as long due to playing all summer. Chamakh >>> N'Gog though so it's fine.

JUSTICE FOR ENGLAND'S BRAVE JOE COLE

Jovanovic: The Next Voronin?

You mean good start then dire? He looks useful tho, surging run.

hey Koscielny's not dead.

JUSTICE FOR JOE, YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE

Oh they're not worried about ngog, fuck off paul merson footie "expert"

nice finish ;_;

Oh man, I was just going to post 'arsenal wont win this game' before that goal

who was it fucking up for the goal?

Justice for Joe? Lol hillsborough, great jokes there.

who was it fucking up for the goal?

― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Sunday, 15 August 2010 17:16 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Wilshere for giving away possession, Vermaelan for not tracking his man, Almunia for being beaten at his near post from a tight angle.

Nice to see Arsenal keeping up our fair play and saying we should play with ten men in spirit. Unfortunately didn't seem to decide on which man should be anonymous so most of them took it on themselves to step up.

n'gog will one day be sold for over £15m

― nakhchivan, Friday, 23 July 2010 15:03 (3 weeks ago)

maybe i'm bored of football or something but this game is tedious

^^^I was thinking the same

hodgson looks narcoleptic

We look awful and Liverpool look like a team with 9 men.

arshavin/fabregas/van persie all having injury/commitment issues srsly compromises arsenal's attacking invention

i guess they'll get better to some extent and arsenal will end up much the same as last season

Chamakh puts the seal on a classy performance.

ohhhh no

REINA YOU BEAUTY

loooooooool

Reina to Arsenal is ON.

koscielny looks like a proper jamie 'fuck you i can get away with anything' carragher of a player.

Didn't get away with that really.

Not really fussed about the new season yet and the prospect of watching Arsenal do the same thing again for the whole campaign is not enticing, although comedy og almost makes up for it

Two points literally dropped there

Looked like a pussy referee "even up the red cards" decision tho.

"its not a ball to handjob" good one co-commentator

lol

also "ball to hand job" lol commentator.

otherwise got to be happy with that

Don't really see either of these two challenging us this season, we can concentrate on the big guns like Chelsea, Blackpool.

can we buy a new fucking centre half this week arsene? i know its only blackpool at home next week but ffs.

Disappointing but would have taken 1-1 at the break. Good spirited performance.

Looked like a pussy referee "even up the red cards" decision tho.

― 'ray Clamence (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 15 August 2010 17:56 (1 minute ago)

along with the ball to handjob I also enjoyed the co-commentator suggesting that Kuyt would let his mum look at his genital injury.

anyway that red looked harsh to me, he had about a tenth of a second to react.

Would have taken 1-1 at Anfield any season, just glad we didn't lose the first game of the season.

Hopefully that's Reina's one mistake for the season, though wouldve been better if he'd left it 'til they were already 2-0 down to Stoke or someone

Promising start to the season. Would be a shame if Mascherano left because he did very well protecting the back four with Gerrard.

More importantly, when did Sky decide Arsenal should be abbreviated to ARL instead of ARS? Looks ridiculous.

"And to prove we have put thought into it here's Mark Lawrenson"

O RLY

from the ref's angle it does look p nasty - cole's foot up high going into him.

not even remotely a red, wtf

the major lesson this weekend has been "fucking Steve Bruce needs to shut the fuck up"

lol what did he say?

he's an idiot

9 red cards last season for sunderland is a record apparently

baseless victim complex, bashes ref condescendingly for being inexperienced, defends thug Cattermole

i love the way on sky they were all "does a referee consider a player's reputation in this situation"

me and my friends imagined it becoming a high minded moral debate with andy gray saying "what if joe cole were a convicted rapist, should he then be sent off for this sort of tackle?"

"what if a player had done an interview in a magazine that week claiming he would foul an arsenal player viciously but make it appear as though it were not a foul?"

Oooh MOTD (...2) on the iplayer! Is MOTD on it as well?

yeah think it is from this year, it's been due to be for ages and ages.

ZONAL FUCKING MARKING!

lol, get over it man.

maradona for villa! plz plz plz randy, make it happen.

I'm just, like, I mean, ARGH! It's kind of the cornerstone of everything that is wrong with 99% of football punditry, analysis, critique. I'm astounded that these people, who used to play the fucking game!, don't understand something that's really incredibly easy to get to grips with. The stats show that Liverpool's zonal marking was, in general, incredibly effective under Rafa. And the fact that Lawro said that Gerrard was marking an area, i.e. a ZONE, just makes even more of a mockery of his punditry. I mean ffs! lols.

It's Lawro mate... if you are gonna get annoyed once then you've lost.

i know, you're right. ok. i promise not to say the 'z' word or to comment on rubbish football analysis AT ALL for the rest of the season.

Nah, go for it. I'm just saying go steady or you may have a heart attack when something actually big and worth getting yr pitchfork out happens.

That's my resolution too Chris.

Tbh, following it has been a bit like cutting my nose off to spite my face. Other than the two live games I've only been able to watch a few seconds of football focus. Switched that on and Lawro couldn't even watch the Icelandic fish celebration without moaning. I realised v quickly that there was no way I could tackle motd without getting the urge to kill, so it's currently off-limits entirely.

At least the live games have the crowd noise up high enough that I can ignore Gray if I so choose.

("all very well until someone sprains their ankle doing it" was Lawro's verdict btw)

ha, I knew after that bit I'd come here to find you exploding, Chris.

I was only half-watching MOTD2, was there no 2 good 2 bad or did I just miss it?

no 2g2b ;_;

has been replaced with "ten things we miss" list that was just dull and taken from a 90s danny baker video

i haven't heard anything about the second half of liverpool/arsen cept result. chamakh looked pretty poor tbh- thought jovacenacevicen looked really good though.

cole's tackle prob borderline red- very high, very late, scissored the leg of the standing man.

wilshere's was late, but he pulled his foot out and on replay hardly made contact. was yellow.

no real comparison imo.

In so far as one game reveals anything, I was pleased with Liverpool - writing off their top four chances is crazy talk. I wouldn't talk them up as winners, it'd take a league of pre-modern scrappiness for them to get close, though they looked competent and spirited and those had to be the first hurdles this year.

Everything that was wrong with Arsenal is still wrong with Arsenal. There was a tortuous period midway through the second half where Sagna was free wide on every attack, and didn't get played in once.

i think for any one of everton, liverpool or spurs to get a CL spot this year arsenal will need to perform well below par all season.

Not sure about that - or at least we might have a different view of where par is, but they might well look different with van Persie back and Chamakh bedded in. They'll need to hit the odd cross though.

chamakh really didn't look very good yesterday. too early to make a call on him.

both teams starting 4-5-1 is a bit depressing, even for a big game.

I thought it was 4-2-3-1? (like I can tell the difference)

451 incorporates 4231 imo tbh

Have a £10 bet with a friend that Chamakh will score 15 this season, not panicking yet.

yeah early days to be fair to him. wouldn't have thought that the lone striker role was gonna suit him tho.

He should be good for that i'd've thought - first-choice striker in a side well capable of bullying the lower orders? (so long as they don't insist on the 'two banks of four' thing). Bendtner must've been close to double figures last year, and he was crocked for a fair bit of it and is Bendtner.

erm chris surely all your zonal marking cheerleading proves is that it's a totally viable defensive system that your glorious leader rafa was rubbish at implementing?

nu motd2 was really shit btw, felt like i was watching cbbc with all the crap culture-ref "features"

like, let's commentate... in black and white! say what you like about hansen and shearer but hopefully they will kick this nonsense in the balls sharpish.

i think chris's point is that zonal marking worked very well for the majority of rafa's time?

tho i seem to remember that for the start of last season something like 3/4 of goals conceded were from set pieces, tbh?

personnel issues anyway, imo. i'm not that sure that skrtel is any good, and i'm pretty sure that carragher will break records for sendings off this season.

It's between Carragher and Dunne, isn't it? Cattermole must be in line to break it over the course of his career though, guy's a thug.

Should probably have had an insurance policy in my Chamakh bet that it's void if Cattermole or some Wolves player breaks his leg.

erm chris surely all your zonal marking cheerleading proves is that it's a totally viable defensive system that your glorious leader rafa was rubbish at implementing?

― r|t|c, Monday, 16 August 2010 11:53 (16 minutes ago)

Hm, not really. In 05/06 and 06/07, Liverpool conceded fewer goals that anyone else from set-pieces, and they did so defending zones, and in 04/05, Rafa's first year at the club, and when the players were still getting used to the system, only 2 goals were conceded from corners.

no talk yet about my newly adopted premiership team, FULHAM????? c'mon they are a tantalizing group of lads

Yeah Liverpool were pretty difficult to score against for most of Rafa's time in power, it was only last season that things really went tits up and a lot of that can be attributed to injuries plus Carragher getting old and crap.

personnel issues anyway, imo. i'm not that sure that skrtel is any good, and i'm pretty sure that carragher will break records for sendings off this season.

It's between Carragher and Dunne, isn't it?

Balotelli, dudes.

Can't find stats for 2007 to 2010, but I'd put money on 08/09 being a good year for us an' all.

alright then, if you say so.

trying to recall other observations about the weekend but all i can come up with is that steven fletcher looked uncomfortably similar to mark hateley all of a sudden.

i think for any one of everton, liverpool or spurs to get a CL spot this year arsenal will need to perform well below par all season.

Still absurdly overrating Man City here. Not saying they won't, but I'm not seeing much evidence that Mancini has a clue what his best team is, and they are hugely reliant on new signings adapting to the Premiership properly.

Gotta start leaving Carra out now and get Agger and Skrtel playing together.

City looked like a bunch of strangers in the first half on Saturday, but they were already finding their feet in the second. Should stick with Adebayor up front I reckon (should really stick with Bellamy and bring back Robinho, but these appear no longer to be options). I've got them down to win the league, so they'd better sort it out quick smart.

I had assumed Fulham-Bolton was dull, but the report makes it sound alright - anything with Bobby Z attempting the unexpected has to be good. I expect it got all of twenty seconds on motd.

4-5-1 for a big game was fine, esp. considering both teams were really only left with one trad. centre forward (Torres and van Persie unfit, Bendtner injured and Liverpool have no-one else). I think Chamakh looked very good in the first half but once Nasri and Arshavin decided to sit out the game he had less of a link to do anything.

Other thoughts from the weekend-

motd2 looks dead already, mah just 101gg my sunday highlights from now on. At least Ronan's Sportsround sketches are funny.

Stewart Downing scored, so naturally I feel a bit uncertain about everything I thought I knew about football.

lol at Bellamy going back to Cardiff instead of Spurs.

i am psyched to see bobby z in the flesh

what i need to know is:

- is mark hughes all that
- is konchesky all that
- is dempsey declining
- who should i watch for (besides this new keeper who looked v impressive v bolton)

oh and:

- is bellamy all that

- yes, for what he is
- limited defensively but can put a smile on your face when he's on form
- no
- bobby obv, etuhu is super underrated, whoever fulham buy to replace schwarzer because in reality lol back-up keepers
- yes

Bellamy is indeed all that. He's got his own (quite old) thread, where he's none too popular.

craig bellamy

I love him though.

I think you should become a cheerleader for Phillipe Senderos for lolz.

The other thing about City right now is that there's hardly any width in that squad. Adam Johnson looks much better than SWP but who else is there? Can't see the full backs bombing forward much under Mancini. You can get away with a lack of width if you have a high-quality passing midfield but City have a high quality destructive midfield really. Not seeing enough creativity - maybe they can drop David Silva back into midfield and stick more upfront but it still feels like a poorly balanced squad with a lot of egos.

For all the Bellamy love (and he would be an amazing signing for Fulham and probably Spurs, although Man City won't see to us), he's never been that prolific, has he?

thank you a hoy hoy!

xposts i can cheer for him to try and stay healthy for more than 10 seconds i guess

senderos wd have been bargain of the season if a) woy stayed and b) he wasn't dead.

i know it's been said, but are city gonna play with 3 destructive centre midfielders every game? they won't get far like that.

other than that re city, though matt- defence was solid (tho we had our chances and should have had a peno) and when mancini decides on a settled attack (if he does) they'll be ahead of everyone who was chasing CL football last season.

"I need it to happen. I've had a couple of chats with Mark Hughes and it's delicately poised.

"Who wouldn't be keen to go to Arsenal? At this stage in my career it's an amazing opportunity to play at that level and one I really want to take.

"It's taken a long time. On one hand you understand them not wanting to disrupt too many things, but I want things resolved as quickly as possible.

"Only time will tell whether that happens or not."

nothing has happened to make it more likely, says hughes.

city won't sell bellamy to us, nor given to ye. spoilsports.

is this common in club football, that you get players just talking completely out of school? in american sports the players' agents would slam the door on that kind of chitchat, reckoning it's bad form and thus brings the value of the player down. not to mention that schwarzer, well, might have to actually play for fulham this season!

it's fairly common, maybe more so than it used to be though.

not sure schwarzer is worried about his future sell-on fees at the age of 52 oe w/e- and his agent would get one last payday over any move.

Silva's not really strong enough to play in the centre is he? Or at least will have to spend some time adapting like Modric. Other than him their most creative midfielder is... Barry? Jesus why are they in for Milner when they could just go for Gourcuff or van der Vaart or someone.

they have bellamy and robinho, adapted wingers.

silva isn't a central player, no.

reckoning it's bad form and thus brings the value of the player down.

agent makes more if he actually moves in signing bonuses etc.

is this common in club football, that you get players just talking completely out of school? in american sports the players' agents would slam the door on that kind of chitchat, reckoning it's bad form and thus brings the value of the player down. not to mention that schwarzer, well, might have to actually play for fulham this season!

This happens all the time in basketball though! I guess generally with bigger stars than Schwartzer admittedly.

Jesus why are they in for Milner when they could just go for Gourcuff or van der Vaart or someone.

I'd forgotten about Milner upthread, he might make a difference. Gourcuff probably exactly the wrong sort of player for Man City right now, massively talented but inconsistent, prone to going missing and with no experience of playing in the Premiership. VDV could do it though.

But yeah, there won't be many teams beating City this season - not many managed it last season and they're likely to be much more solid this year. If I were Man City I'd just play 4-3-3 with as much firepower upfront as possible - play Tevez, Adebayor and Balotelli all at once and watch teams shit themselves.

I've been working on the basis that Robinho isn't coming back - any reason to suspect different?

craig bellamy thread just reminded me of something I'd cast from my memory: juninho at celtic

robinho on way to fenerbahce apparently

Now that doesn't makes sense for anyone concerned.

if that's the criteria then i'm completely lost.

Taking advantage of Young Boys: Champions League & Europa League 2010/11

guardian's rumour mill has robinho potentially off to schalke, to link up again with Raul.

i've always thought he was over-rated, but that's still quite a comedown for a guy his age in just a few years.

Should probably have had an insurance policy in my Chamakh bet that it's void if Cattermole or some Wolves player breaks his leg.

― Sgt. Biscuits, Monday, 16 August 2010 12:07 (4 hours ago)

I've got an eye on this guy, reckon he might be One Of Those

Sick of being typecast as the brutish thugs of the Prem tbh

going by rumour and reputation, I've been assuming Balotelli is going to be a monster, but there was a highlights reel on somewhere at the weekend and it was all tap-ins and rebounds. He could be the new Inzaghi

Sick of being typecast as the brutish thugs of the Prem tbh

Well, some of us are sick of seeing promising careers derailed by hulking oafs from industrial towns!

Unexpected stat of the day xp - Inzaghi's only reached 20 goals in all competitions in five out of eighteen full seasons

been out of the loop so far this season but can i just say Barton's 'tache.

'TOV!

Darren Fletcher! I am glad I turned this on, it's been all quite end-to-end so far.

yeah was hmm at first, but since utd first goal seems to have become a better match

Well, some of us are sick of seeing promising careers derailed by hulking oafs from industrial towns!

I don't know whose sock this is but c'mon you can't parody that which is beyond parody.

been out of the loop so far this season

Dude, it only started on Saturday.

I missed the start of the match - sounds like I've come to it at the right time. Also, aye, Joey Barton's moustache is awes.

http://www.jimius.com/baconbible/Assets/volunteers/cbrothers.jpg

oh scholes, never change <3

Right, come on, who is it that Joey Barton really reminds me of?

ESPN pundits saying Timothy Dalton.

tim mcinnery (as darling)

ESPN pundits are wrong (this is never not true).

I think it might just be some generic 80s everyman, tbh.

nono I said who it was, seriously

maybe a young david niven too

Our Hannah has got a little crush on Darren Fletcher. Kinda lol but mostly o_O

20% tim dalton, 80% begbie imo

Midge Ure

xxp lol wut.

does she not like andy carroll? i quite like andy carroll :/

Is it the jazz guitarist Sean Penn played in that Woody Allen film?

really, LJ, it's not. Midge Ure best shout so far, but that's not it.

Darren Fletcher's not so bad (when he's not being utterly invisibly crap for Scotland). Imagine it was like John Terry or someone.

barney ronay is doing the minute by minute for the guardian and he seems a bit in love with andy carroll

I'm going to wake up about four in the morning haunted by Joey Barton's stupid facial hair and going to realise I'm thinking of someone my dad used to hang out with when I was 9 or something.

ah yeah well there you go, me and ronay are like THAT. (forceful finger x thing.)

i just checked and tbf you always think the fletch is uglier than he really is. apologies.

Nah he's pretty rough really.

Maybe Barton looks like Paul Franz Ferdinand when he has a 'tache?

http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/mummy.jpg
http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/darren_fletcher_1109289c.jpg

A++++++++++++++++++

Is that one of those mummies from Xinjiang? Don't recognise the dude on the top tho.

just this once, i won't take credit for something off a blog. it was one of those "crap lookalikes" i dimly remembered.

still chewing over a bad mummy, nani, bebe dadjoek.

o my

that's spoty sewn up again

martin tyler pondering the health and safety hazards of advertising hoardings. this game is boring.

ooh look goal giggzzzzzzzz.

Seriously, though, that was excellent. Twenty seasons in a row, is it?

Twenty-one seasons in a row

Some hybrid of Midge Ure and Ian Rush, I think. I'm not giving this any more thought.

The Mad Twatter from Skins if he sticks to his "not shaving till we win a game" thing.

STOP TALKING ABOUT PAUL SCHOLES

I think I've solved the Barton riddle, it's this fella:

http://timesonline.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/10/22/peter_mandelson_moustache.jpg

I'd hit it

terrifying minority report feel to sky's new set, andy gray stopping football crimes before they happen. perhaps the technology could be used to decide if a player should be spared sending off based on being a nice lad like joe cole or not.

OTM about Andy Gray's Panopticon

Not telling me Mandy isn't trying to look like Midge Ure there

There's also a bit of 80s Kevin Webster going on with Barton. He is just everybloke 80s moustachio man.

Why not talk about Paul Scholes?

gray's head is a giant edifice.

x-post cos it's a fucking broken record for the last 2/3 seasons

only diff now is he actually has played well, rather than the one decent game in 10.

ha, "a touch of dad's army about it" says the interviewer about the 3rd goal.

Scholes was absurdly good. It was an unusually good performance, and I think it deserves all the praise. Especially in light of England being abject.

still a fucking thug though.

minority report a bit, but also looks like andy gray's tanning salon

"tik a bed son, tik a bed"

Our Hannah has got a little crush on Darren Fletcher.

he's a nice kid iirc from summer hols down our way. she could take home worse.

ohh, they're moving to the giant screen...

This meme about Scholes might've come back for the world cup if Capello had made the call, not Bandini - I'm supposed to think Capello's the bad guy, right?

super lols at Richard Keys acting the clueless fool.

still a fucking thug though.

― The referee was perfect (Chris), Monday, 16 August 2010 22:08 (2 minutes ago)

this is the thing about Liverpool fans - you so nearly get me onside, then you start pointing The Finger

he's a nice kid iirc from summer hols down our way. she could take home worse.

Yeah but Hannah's 8.

COME ON LJ SCHOLES' TACKLES HAVE THEIR OWN SECTION OF THE GENEVA CONVENTION DEDICATED TO THEM

it's the "shucks, Scholesy was a little late there bless him" that irks me more than anything.

i'll defend every single thing about paul scholes except his tacking, the guy's a thug off the ball. with chris on this one

would not describe him as a malicious tackler, more a clumsy one

now carragher? there's a thug

:D

if it gets me back onside and makes you feel any better, then i'm more than happy to acknowledge carra's thug-like tendencies ;)

After the first 10 years of your career clumsy sort of wears off as an excuse.

we live in a world where Kevin Muscat is not in jail, of course, so it's all relative

also, did richard keys really just describe middlesbrough goalkeeper brad jones, who wouldn't be anywhere near our 1st team squad if it weren't for the homegrown rule, as a "big signing", or has Messi flown in on the quiet?

I like to think of Muscat sat in some small town jail in Wagga Wagga or somewhere like that.

all knocking brick-sized chunks out of the wall with the soles of his bare feet

Harry Kewell on a horse throwing a stick of dynamite thru the bars

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwhI1rjsWdg

Stay classy, dude :)

Dude he doesn't make contact!

Oh wait I was looking at the wrong arm.

Anyway he never hit him that hard.

I had blanked Kevin Muscat's time in Scotland from my memory. What with this and bad moustaches, I'm absolutely not going to sleep tonight.

god i could just wish horrible death on muscat and his ilk.

Jermaine Jenas to Juventus?!

it's the "shucks, Scholesy was a little late there bless him" that irks me more than anything.

― The referee was perfect (Chris), Monday, August 16, 2010 2:15 PM

So (United-Liverpool rivalries aside) the usual pundits-being-cliché-ridden-imbeciles leads you to label one of the best players England has ever produced "a fucking thug"? Do you actually believe that Scholes's admittedly bad tackling is malicious and intended to injure?

ancelotti's lost weight

xp i think he's a great player, but some of his tackles are atrocious. jeez, the "fucking thug" thing was an off the cuff remark about one area of his game that i think badly lets him down.

Ha ha, fair enough, just thought we had a RAWKite on ILE for a minute there. ;)

He's asthmatic

I don't understand why Alex Ferguson (supposedly) won't pay 15 million for 21 year-old Oezil but is said to be ok with spending the same amount of money on Meireles. It's probably all paper talk anyway.

ozil seems too good to be available for 15m. there must be more to the story

He's available for free next summer - clubs are probably caught between thinking '15m for Özil = bargain!' and thinking '15m for one year = rip-off'

i think he's a great player, but some of his tackles are atrocious. jeez, the "fucking thug" thing was an off the cuff remark about one area of his game that i think badly lets him down.

Plus, hey, I'll take the "areas of his game" that allegedly let him down if I can watch and appreciate the more significant areas of his game, like the 60-yard pinpoint passes, or the lofted perfectly weighted balls over the back line onto his teammates' toes, or the almost spooky way he continually makes space for himself in tight areas of the pitch! It's like saying, oh that Leonardo, he may well have painted the fucking Mona Lisa and The Virgin Of the Rocks but the fucking thug was never totally onboard with the powers that be, you know. I swear he had an attitude problem. Plus, he probably picked his nose...

Irrelevant in the big picture, I think. It's not like Scholes has ever significantly damaged (or just even minorly damaged) an opponent, so why dwell on that aspect of his game, unless you have some kind of agenda or just don't like quiet soft-spoken family men who are gingers?

(and are brilliant footballers)<----- meant to add.

Or dude could have just learnt how to tackle, you know

Brad Jones? Liverpool? £2.3million? Que?

Jones qualifies as a "home-grown" player under the new Premier League rules after joining the Teessiders from Australian amateur side Bayswater City.

But so do lots of other keepers. Who don't cost £2.3million. And aren't shit.

Jermaine Jenas to Juventus?!

makes a change form the inter rumours. i still think he has one season of greatness in him.

dunno where lostandfound is going with this. scholes has gone in too late, too hard, too often for it to matter whether he went in to hurt anyone 'on purpose'.

he's the best english player of his generation, of maybe two generations given his longevity, but y'know- in reference to his tackling, don't think it should be swept under the carpet on the way to his canonisation.

That reminds me of a question I was going to pose - if Gascoigne was the unchallenged king of English football in 1990/91, and if everyone accepts that Rooney's had the crown for a few years now, who was the best English player in between?

David Beckham?

Pains me to say it, but Alan Shearer?

internationally or just of that nationality?

shearer or scholes respectively

tho really it's probably shearer then owen then beckham then ..... rooney, i guess- if the question is in the england shirt

Lest we forget Michael Owen and Teddy Sheringham, RIP.

God give it a rest on scholes, he is a nasty tackler and when he does it everyone says "oh that scholesy! what a delightful chap!"

The above ejaculation about the mona lisa says little more than "nobody should say anything bad about anyone ever"

And not only would it be totally okay for someone to discuss the character of leonardo da Vinci (or any other lauded figure) it'd also be more interesting than facile cliched hyperbole (like you know, comparing a footballer to the most famous artist of all time)

football is performance art

xxp to JM- had considered teddy, but tbf he was never england's star man or anything.

indeed. and an 'orrible caaaaant to boot.

There are a ton of plausible all-round candidates - the ones mentioned plus Gerrard, Lampard, Platt, Seaman, Waddle for the period immediately post-Gazza, Sol even. They've all got some kind of blind spot. That said, I had cause to look at Shearer's stats for something I was doing at weekend - absolutely phenomenal.

Could make a case for Robbie Fowler? Want to say Matt le Tissier as well, tbh.

(I'm just considering domestically here, btw, not being as au fait with the England national team as most people on this thread)

It's not like Scholes has ever significantly damaged (or just even minorly damaged) an opponent, so why dwell on that aspect of his game

so scholes gets credit for miracles now - didnt realise he'd been elevated to deity status.

at the end of the day though the "cheeky chappy scholesy" thing is just part & parcel hypocrisy of football - ~life~, even. like when we talked about the martin taylor thing, everyone loves a reducer but then gets on their high horse when bad stuff happens and so on.

perhaps the issue is that scholes isn't even smart about it - same stupid lunge every game - but we know/hope/fear he's still smart enough to know better ("dark arts", classic or dud?). and that then gets wrapped up in resentment towards the man utd/english sense of entitlement.

or just scholescocknballsphoto.jpg

"best english player" and "king of english football" are more often than not two entirely different things. player you can argue the toss about all day but shearer was the king in that period, without question.

Craig Bellamy's gone to Cardiff.

fuck.

There are a ton of plausible all-round candidates - the ones mentioned plus Gerrard, Lampard, Platt, Seaman, Waddle for the period immediately post-Gazza, Sol even. They've all got some kind of blind spot. That said, I had cause to look at Shearer's stats for something I was doing at weekend - absolutely phenomenal.

― Ismael Klata, Tuesday, August 17, 2010 9:58 AM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Could make a case for Robbie Fowler? Want to say Matt le Tissier as well, tbh.

― ailsa, Tuesday, August 17, 2010 10:01 AM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Assuming we're talking about in the three lions shirt then.

Gerrard and Lampard never did it for England, despite being amongst the big stars of their time. Platt, Waddle, Seaman, Waddle eclipsed by Gazza then Shearer imo- being around for 92 did them no favours either. Sol was magnificent, but I dunno did he ever approach Shearer/Owen proportions even at his height in 98. Fowler- see lampard, gerrard but without their longevity in the league.

Le Tiss is the best footballer mentioned in this thread, rivalled only by Scholes, but not for England.

also fuck the taxman the welsh fa the courts and who the fuck ever else for continuing to let cardiff go on trading. load of bullshit.

ugh god i hate cardiff.

I wasn't considering solely internationally, mostly because I wasn't really paying much attention to England for large periods. There was a brief period where Robbie Fowler was the best English player in England (thought we were just filling in gaps between Gazza and Rooney), and I <3 Matt le Tissier, so yeah.

bellamy to cardiff is kinda classic

hope cheeky chappy shaun derry snaps him in two.

It is great in that he basically said ages ago that he didn't give a shit about the Prem any more and just wanted back home to Wales. I wish someone had given him a timetable for flights from Cardiff to Glasgow though :-(

xpost, ooh, someone doesn't like him!

haha no, i secretly quite like bellers same as everyone else. stick him in a cardiff shirt though and all bets are off.

"I am strangely drawn to Bellamy. He is awful. But he weirdly also tells the truth and seems sometimes very plausible in among all his terrible bust-ups. Now and then you wonder. Maybe it's football and not him."

^ sorry to rep barney ronay again but this, basically.

like maybe john arne riise DOES deserve a savage golf clubbing in the grand scheme of things, who knows yknow

I can get behind the oddly pro-Bellamy sentiment. Surely some bigger teams than Cardiff have missed a trick by not taking him on though? He'd have had the City Reject With Point To Prove thing going on and presumably he's taking a pay cut to go to Cardiff anyway (or are City paying his wages still?). Maybe that's why they haven't loaned him to anyone in the EPL.

Riise was also knocked unconscious by John Carew while on Norway duty. The club doctor or someone was quoted as saying "I don't want to repeat what Riise said but I have never seen Carew that angry in my life".

ooh norwegian gossip

can't see cardiff paying bellamy 90k a week so either city relented (but why?) and are paying some or he took a cut

Club doctor = "team doctor".

The Riise-Carew smackdown was a fair while ago, I was just pointing out that the ginger one has made more than one enemy in his career is all.

wait rodallega is available for 10m? are wigan MENTAL?

The celebrated bust-up between Carew, who plays professionally for Roma, and Riise, who plays for Liverpool, has made headlines all over Europe. Now it seems the circumstances of a quarrel that exploded into a brawl could have had even more serious consequences.

Riise reportedly regained consciousness quickly, but Carew's attack was so brutal that teammates were never in doubt that Carew would have to be penalized. He was suspended and banned from playing in Wednesday's friendly match against Portugal, which Norway ended up losing 1-0.

Others have claimed since the fight that Riise also should have been punished, since he provoked Carew by, among other things, spitting repeatedly on his shoes.

Riise has admitted that he also behaved badly. "I didn't say anything ugly, I didn't swear or do anything racist," he told newspaper Dagbladet, "but I went too far."

- ptuww!
- stop that!
- ptuww!
- grr!

that is classic 13 yr old stuff. no wonder he sounded sheepish.

carew all hopping from foot to foot with dainty frustration

oooeeewwwoooww you dirty whyiotta

Did the same thing happen prior to Bellamy deciding to escalate things by braining him with a golf club? I was never up on the details of that little spat.

"braining" would involve Riise having his brains in his legs (lol crap footballing metaphor would have that to be true an all). Apparently it was because Riise wouldn't join in at karaoke.

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

iirc bellamy hilariously also stewed on the whole thing for hours before suddenly deciding to burst into riise's room and hack away while he was asleep.

"try sleeping with a broken leg!", the alicia keys fan bellowed tearfully.

looool

iirc bellamy hilariously also stewed on the whole thing for hours before suddenly deciding to burst into riise's room and hack away while he was asleep.

― r|t|c, Tuesday, August 17, 2010 10:59 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark

see, i know dudes like this.

they were all footballers fwiw

yeah i also know dudes like that but i just assumed it was cos theyre all from birmingham, or not-london as i tend to think of it.

I bet Adebayor still thinks about lamping Bendtner over the trainers fiasco

"i'm only on because you're shit" is still yoga-flame all time material

milner to city confirmed, says the little red breaking news box on the graun site.

and Ireland to Villa

Zzzzzzzzz.

well there you go martin, a top player and a fat wodge of cash to cover everything you wasted and keep us solvent... m-martin? mr o'neill? hellooo? oh, where he's gone.

re the scholes commentary above i had to look up "reducer" - it meant what i thought it meant - and found the following page, which i found hugely informative -

http://backofthenet.wikia.com/wiki/Professionalism_and_Experience

Ah:

RT @DTguardian: Sky reporting Bellamy has snubbed #Fulham #SAFC #Everton #Celtic and a few others to agree loan to Cardiff #MCFC #bluebirds about 2 hours ago via TweetDeck

it's all happening

Takes throw-ins from many yards further forward than where the ball went out of play, by stealing a series of tiny tip-toe steps which add up to around 50 metres.

Has anyone ever seen a foul throw given for this at any level? At the world cup I remember one ball which went out off the corner flag, so there was absolutely no doubt at all where the throw in was from, and it still ended up being chucked from level with the penalty spot. I wonder what would have happen if he'd just walked to the halfway line.

I've seen players being brought back before they take the throw, aye.

ref would have stopped him at that stage.

linesman stopped assou-ekotto twice at the weekend for stealing maybe 3 inches

Pretty sure I've seen foul throws awarded for this. Also player made to go back and take throw from the correct spot.

(xp)

Depends how quickly the game is moving

did big ron really invent reducer...? i thought it was old as time itself.

www.dangerhere.com

Stiv Bators surely

http://wosound.com/images/sonic%20reducer.jpg

But, seriously, sounds like a term from American Football to me

.. or ice hockey or sumthin'

Lansdowne Road jangled with nervous tension, but there was also something crazy in the air - and one man was determined to ensure the Dutch knew there was also madness on the pitch: 35 seconds into the game, Roy Keane crunched into Overmars like a tank into shack, almost crushing the little winger underfoot as Kluivert, seemingly on the verge of tears, hopped up and down in impotent outrage. The referee - a German, as Dutch journalists pointedly noted - didn't even book Ireland's captain. A minute later, the still-flustered Kluivert was sent through one-on-one with Shay Given ... and steered his shot wide. Thus were laid the foundations for a famous Irish victory.

tears in my eyes here

Liverpool's phony hard-man Steve McMahon, who had just toebunged in a superb third, was the cock of the walk in midfield. But he could barely walk when Whiteside came off the bench and, without even touching the ball, clattered him before whispering something sinister in his ear.

could read an entire book worth of this

Sure we did reducers in a thread once.

*googles for Neil Simpson* - aye, here you go: showboating in football - c or d?

good thread, died too soon imo

Very odd for such a thing to be celebrated in a modern-day sporting environ though. One never sees Ryo Ishikawa praised for hacking the hell out of the greens so Corey Pavin would be unable to putt, for instance, or Henry Cecil being celebrated for punching opponent's horses in the face. Why does football have to be different?

It depends on a number of factors, but usually it hinges on who's getting kicked, and whether or not he's one of yours.

The bone crunching/ internal organ rearranging tackle is celebrated in Rugby, but they're not foul tackles

Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini says James Milner close to completion

THEY HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY

milner always had kind of a 'bolted together' look tho. t-800 rather than a more advanced model imo

so ozil to Real Madrid then

Á-Zil according to Sky wtf

Maybe that's his new Galactico name

bad character encoding

I prefer my idea

The showboating thread died because it was that Saturday that Eduardo died iirc.

Another famous example on Steve McMahon - Vinnie Jones, roughly 4 seconds into the 88 cup final

well, a stint at madrid may encode the young man's character in all sorts of foul ways

xpost

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/818963/untitled.bmp

He's a good Muslim boy tho, oy vey (xp)

Torres was actually reporting some paps that had been following him home from training, not getting booked for speeding.

i mean to say man, you just dont let it go!

Torres was actually reporting some paps that had been following him home from training, not getting booked for speeding.

cheeky of them to stick around

good story innit

So Jenas has the best agent in the game, yes? You think if I hire the guy he can get me to play in the Premiership? I'd be a wicked reserve goalkeeper who is a cheap name for the homegrown rule.

jenas's highlights reel would convince you that kaka was a fraud. he's got 21 england caps and 359 club appearances (42 goals).

highlights reel against arsenal alone over the years would convince those not in the know imo.

I actually think Jenas would do pretty well in Italy, he always looked like an English player who wasn't really suited to the Premiership. A bit more time on the ball and he's a good passer, at high speed he tends to panic and do stupid things.

The night had a thousand lols

Sorry I missed the reducer discussion, have just cried myself semi-conscious at the previous posts. Personal favourite was some Scotland - Iceland qualifier from the mid 80s where the commentator spent a good five minutes bigging up Iceland's midfield supremo, "one player of genuine World class" etc etc, then they kicked off and Souness broke the dude's leg inside the first 2 minutes.

... yes, that was horrific, Souness was an evil bastard

The Iceland player was Siggi Johnson, he's still bitter

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/football/scotland/2009/04/01/i-hope-scotland-get-beat-says-graeme-souness-leg-break-victim-siggi-jonsson-86908-21244580/

(not really)

"Jonsson insists he doesn't bear a grudge and went on to fall in love with Scotland during a three-year spell at Tannadice."

When i got to the "fall in love" bit i was sure it was gonna say "with Souness" in some kind of weird stockholm syndrome thing.

Reykjavik syndrome

scotshome syndrome

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/08/17/article-0-0AD35B7C000005DC-938_468x531.jpg

Icelander supporting Iceland shock xp. Other than the headline that article is great, I like how it's Rod who pays the visit as the remorseful good guy. Souness was presumably straight out of there to club some seals.

Eathard?

Celtic fans' nickname for Souness was most apt: "The Beast"

Eathard!

ed hardy

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/scotland/5096660/Graeme-Souness-example-shows-Barry-Ferguson-how-to-be-a-leader-of-men.html

Instead of having a beer you should break someone's leg.

Eathard TATTOO

Milner looking a bit Stifler there iyam

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/8893705.stm

Nicolas Anelka says he is "laughing" after being banned for 18 games by the French Football Federation (FFF) over his conduct at this summer's World Cup.

Anelka said the suspension "has no relevance whatsoever" because as far as he is concerned, his international career finished when he was thrown out of training on 19 June.

Anelka did not show up at the disciplinary hearing and his international career now appears to be all but over.

It certainly looks that way, Mr BBC!

Maybe he could nominate someone else to have the 18 game ban for him.

Return of the Nelk

Oh joy.

So this season is gonna be different, right?

There goes my new FL captain. Maybe Blackpool will only concede five now.

I'm sure Blackpool will leave their mark on Arsenal FC by way of an uneducated, semi-moronic lunk from a mining village deciding to invert Jack Wilshere's knee as a child might pull the wings from a beautiful blue butterfly

Well, you can joke, but Holloway is a disingenuous bullshit merchant and for all his talk of playing the game the right way I expect him to revert to lump kicking type as soon as the honeymoon period ends for Blackpool, which will be a lot sooner than it was for Hull.

just after a gleefully balletic 65-pass move results in Thomas Vermaelen smashing a scorpion kick in off the angle of post and bar to give the lads a 7-0 lead after 32 minutes

How did you find my blog?

googled "away boyz" "number one fan"

Seriously though, Blackpool's games between Arsenal and playing Chelsea on 19th September are their important ones, if they don't get a good haul from those then the horrible run they have after that could destroy them.

How do I shot playmaking?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2010/aug/18/what-is-a-playmakers-role-in-modern-game

In the first international, a goalless draw in 1872, England seem to have played a 1-2-7 formation and been flummoxed by the 2-2-6 used by Scotland.

Scotland's conservative 2 at the back with only 6 up front was the beginning of the end of attacking football imo

dour

Hahaha - 'twas a conundrum to be repeated at depressingly regular intervals

Roy and Lucas share a tender moment.

http://assets.liverpoolfc.tv/uploads/assets/t8.jpg

weaknesses exposed by youngboys, happening a lot this week

I'm now trying to imagine what a game between two sides playing 1-2-7 would look like, pretty much failing. That first international must've'd seven Heskeys and six Iwelomus up front.

nah the forwards just played further back the pitch innit

7 buckets and 2 lolruses up front

Centre half must've been a fuckin colossus tbh

formation explained
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:3j9DFRiUA46HMM:http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/mah_bukkit.jpg&t=1

They didn't play what we'd recognise as proper football... they had to wait for Scotland to invent it

it'll be a long wait

it's a rugby formation?

Judging by the results, it seems to have happened around 1876 (xp)

The "not passing" thing about early football seem pretty ludicrous, they pass in rugby after all? Or maybe they didn't pass in rugby either at the time.

Higuita
                      Terry
                Makelele Riquelme
Yakubu Crouch Heskey Inzaghi Fashanu Koller Beckham

this side would've dominated the 1870s imo

Main quibble would be Schumacher for Higuita

formatting has a mistake, but kind of not

Goalkeeper leaning on corner flag smoking pipe?

schumacher can partner alonso and maybe hamilton

kevin prince boateng is a genoa player is an ac milan player

I've got a piece just gone up on Run Of Play as part of Pele week

just read that! nice work.

Nice, Ismael Klata!

ok the rumoured fee for milner is ireland + 19.5 mil?

that's insane

Yeah but Ireland's economy is fucked tbf

basket case living in a dream world of own creation, will inevitably end in violence and tears.

sounds about right

I like to think Man City are just putting an extra 30 percent onto their transfer fees now like some mafia don tucking a roll of bills into a waiter's top pocket

"Here ya go, buy yourself something nice"

yeah and the waiters know

i) to expect it

ii) their place

also, that's a lot more like an extra 100% imo

It's also a good bit less than the £26m being reported this morning

26m + ireland or 26m as a package

£26m total, i've seen conflicting reports on whether ireland is valued at £8m or £10m within that. i think he'll be good value for city, he's just the kind of dependable, fairly ego-free player that i hoped they'd never sign.

g barry was considered that until fairly recently imo

oh yeah, but city seem to have ruined him a bit, taken him over the fine line of "discreet lynchpin of the team" to "totally anonymous".

barry and milner both seem similar players to me- they need to be more important to the team than they are likely to be at city, where their roles (if barry hasn't just been replaced, tbh) will be to ferry the ball to Tevez/whichever superstar.

Don't mean to go all Daily Express, but is Tevez the first non-English speaking captain of a Premier League side?

*Insert jokey John Terry answer here*

Surely Arsenal have had a couple (Cesc for one)

And Gallas. And Terry Henry.

Oh, I misunderstood you. Ignore me.

Dunno about Gallas but Fab, Henry and Almunia are all pretty much masters of it.

Whereas Tevez you could imagine getting the nod to voice Wayne Rooney if TV ever brought back Spiting Image.

Yeah, I misunderstood a wee bit there (like,OK, totally misunderstood), I haven't slept properly for about three days.

Don't mean to go all Daily Express, but is Tevez the first non-English speaking captain of a Premier League side?

― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 18 August 2010 18:28 (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Kolo is their cap'n?

Also p certain I read an article or tidbit saying that Tevez finally starting learning English at the start of the year, only 3 1/2 seasons into his time in England.

not against spurs

xp

I've got a piece just gone up on Run Of Play as part of Pele week

I saw this earlier and thought "hey, I know that name!" Very good.

Do all of these Chelsea captains speak English (or did they when they became captains)?

Frank Leboeuf
Gustavo Poyet
Dan Petrescu
Gianfranco Zola
Marcel Desailly
Jody Morris
Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink
Carlo Cudicini
Eidur Gudjohnsen
William Gallas
Claude Makelele
Michael Ballack

I don't think Cantona was a fluent English speaker when he was Man United captain.

Jody Morris! That's a name from the past.

ha indeed, as is gustavo poyet

gustavo poyet is the south coast's hottest property - he's even got mauricio taricco playing in the reserves again

Man City seem to be staking a lot on Milner actually becoming The Next Frank Lampard, and if he does then the transfer fee will be an irrelevence in a couple of seasons time. If not, this will look almost as ridiculous as the Ibrahimovic-Eto'o swap deal.

Back in the late 90s, towards the end one of Palace's more hilarious/soul-shattering (delete where applicable) seasons in the top flight, they appointed Attilio Lombardo as caretaker player-manager despite him not speaking English (Tomas Brolin was hired to be his translator, in case you're wondering how good an idea this was). I'm unsure if he was ever captain, though.

Jody Morris plays for St Johnstone. Every single time I see him this still somehow surprises me.

Fulham have signed 23-year-old forward Moussa Dembele on a three-year deal from Dutch club AZ Alkmaar.

The Belgium international, who arrives for a fee believed to be around £5m, gives the Cottagers some much-needed attacking options.

Bobby Zamora was often used as a lone striker last season as fellow forward Andy Johnson struggled with injuries.

"Moussa is strong and quick and will add another dimension," said Fulham manager Mark Hughes.

Dembele scored 10 goals as Alkmaar won the Dutch league title during the 2008-09 season, finding the net 24 times in 118 league games in four years with the club he joined from Willem II in 2006.

Good signing imo - if he can do this once this season, it'll be smiles times

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoLg-Uzio8o

(Commentator is terrific on that btw)

!

Wenger to pick up some bargains.

last person signed from the homeless WC was hardly a bargain

Bebe didn't actually play in the Homeless World Cup, that's a myth.

ahhh!

Sebastien Squillaci has its future in the air. This was recognized outside of microphones, the deputy general sport, Ramón Rodríguez Verdejo Monchi, who said at the airport in Oporto that the Club had an offer from Arsenal and the player himself said before the technical meeting was not able to play.

Man City seem to be staking a lot on Milner actually becoming The Next Frank Lampard, and if he does then the transfer fee will be an irrelevence in a couple of seasons time. If not, this will look almost as ridiculous as the Ibrahimovic-Eto'o swap deal.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 August 2010 19:17 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

my fantasy football team is basically man city

Man City seem to be staking a lot on Milner actually becoming The Next Frank Lampard

Guy who's scored 25 goals in 248 games vs. guy who's been known to score that in a season

yeah that's not realistic. Though Milner has more goals in him than his previous ratio would suggest.

yeah £27m milner is more a poor man's gerrard if anything - inspirational bouts of lung-bursting englishness etc

£27m for the new Kevin Nolan

"poor man's gerrard"

^ as close as you'll get in three words, OTM

kevin nolan would have rocked in a decent team tbf

although i guess milner will be back out on on the wing? unless mancini a) plays one up front or b) drops gazza bazza

will say though that he is worth the money in terms of what city needed in the squad character-wise

risable as all that sounds

redknapp apparently willing to listen to offers for

wilson palacios.

now, he's not had a great few months but that's absolute madness.

could see milner replacing barry, yeah. more likely right midfield (though he's hardly a classic 'winger')

has kevin nolan gone back to WWE to do bad rapping and botched death valley drivers to people?

I would have thought Redknapp would rather lose Keane/Pav than Palacios.

actually now i think about it a 4-3-3 seems pretty obvi, lessens the reliance on silva by pushing him further up in the hope his getting kicked off the pitch will be absorbed by milner and tevez running around like maniacs

upgrading palacios makes sense but no one appropriate springs to mind. plus ur only likely to get like £6m for him right now i reckon, so not worth it

"the upgrading of palacios is nearly complete"

don't really get tottenham's summer transfer inactivity at all tbh - you can look at it like not tinkering with a good and settled team but i think the golden opportunity to hoodwink some above-average players with the champions league status has been badly underestimated

lol @ the thrilling loic remy to england transfer saga ending with him going to marseille btw

I thought Palacios was the Saviour of White Hart Lane last season?

twas the season before that iirc, now he just runs around losing possession compulsively

i'd agree with his having stagnated the past 12 months, yeah. but unless sandro is a surefire improvement i wouldn't be desperate to see palacios go.

even with sandro, that's only two players can play destructively in midfield.

don't really get tottenham's summer transfer inactivity at all tbh - you can look at it like not tinkering with a good and settled team but i think the golden opportunity to hoodwink some above-average players with the champions league status has been badly underestimated

― r|t|c, Thursday, 19 August 2010 11:18 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

this

though there's undoubtedly a lot of potentially quality players that didn't get squad time last year, i dunno do i trust that bentley and dos santos are gonna be like the proverbial 'new signings' for us.

and could definitely have dealt with us signing a 'first shoice' lone frontman at the loss of any of the other four

Money talk: a couple of interesting pieces about the Arsenal's new share scheme:

one and two

I wouldn't mind owning a few of these. Even if I've been expecting the bottom to drop out for about a decade, Arsenal's future looks rosy. Wish I'd bought them in 1983 though - that's got to have been the best deal of all time.

          Hart
Kolarov   Boateng   Toure   Milner
            Yaya   De Jong
      Silva              Johnson
                Tevez
              Adebayor

Next Wayne Rooney y'all.

dunno about the best deal ever, but decent return over 24 years i guess

The dream would obviously be for us to move towards a Barcelona-esque fan ownership structure, but I do worry as to whether or not this is viable in 2010 when you have big money figures at Manchester City, Chelsea and, forthcoming, Blackburn Rovers.

ok david dein.

kolarov is a left back, assume milner is now the new suedey from ur diagram

While they are all busy trying to think of ways to get around the incoming financial fair play rules, we are earning more money than any team that can actually afford to last the decade out.

i gave up trying to work throughthe clauses, but i assume all your foreigners count as homegrown?

Enough for us to not have squad worries.

Cesc, Song, Clichy, Djourou, Bendtner, Wilshere, Theo, Gibbs - yeah we are fine with the 8 hg.

except for the lack of centre halves and midfield enforcers, right?

And having no balls?

Don't know what that has to do with the homegrown rule? Even so we will supposedly have Squillaci sorted by Blackpool, leaving us with 5 centre halves + Song in an emergancy. And for midfield enforcers we have Song, plus Diaby or Denilson if they feel like actually playing up, and Eastmond and Pingpong trying to prove themselves worthy of a first team place. Oh and then the Schwarzer deal seems to be resting on whether we can get the obv better Given on loan first. Should be alright.

Diaby couldn't enforce against a team of 5 year olds, judging by his performance against L'pool

Also lol at a Spurs fan wondering about our lack of centre halves. So Spurs have what, 7? And yet not enough to have two both fit and on form at any given time? And have still not bought anyone or sorted out lb or etc.

i was merely asking- you did point out you had no squad worries.

might just point out that other teams all have youth academies, we just don't name everyone in them when asked about whether centre halves might be a problem this year.

you don't have any midfield enforcers, and you know how highly i rate song. fwiw thudd is 6ft 5 or so and plays in midfield- he's not an enforcer either.

i don't think given would be better for arsenal than schwarzer at all - he's a deluxe version of what you've already got, whereas what you need is a someone that can dominate his area.

BAE looked class for spurs on saturday imo.

yeah he was MOTM on sat imo, but that's maybe twice a season and unfortunately his general performance in a defensive capacity is, well it's shocking.

Yes but Huddlestone is surely the Carrick to Palacios's Fletcher. We play a different tactic so all we really use is a mobile THUDD/Carrick type with the added ability over them of Song being able to run and defend.

might just point out that other teams all have youth academies, we just don't name everyone in them when asked about whether centre halves might be a problem this year.

Considering the last two players to be promoted into the Arsenal team from our academy are now in the England squad, I am alright with naming players that were promoted to the first team this season without coming over as... myself.

are now in the England squad

Uh, so is Frankie Fielding

i take it all back.

I've yet to see evidence that Frankie Fielding actually exists

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/03_01/HOWERD030307PA_400x621.jpg

http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00028/frank-field_28555t.jpg

I think the Spurs lack-of-transfers thing is because Levy is waiting to see whether we'll be in the Champions League proper before opening his chequebook.

The Palacios thing won't happen unless we sign another defensive midfielder, it'd be a bit like going back to the Juande Ramos era. Better to let him play himself back into form IMO.

Actually, now that Defoe's injured, I think Robbie Keane deserves a run in the team partnered with Pavlyuchenko, could be the makings of a terrific partnership there if Keane plays a bit deeper. Obviously Redknapp will never go for this.

Also you are trying to build a new stadium and even qualifying for the Champions League means zero money left over.

Bored of discussing BAE now but it's worth nothing he's made a big improvement every season for the last couple, so the jury's out for now. If he can stop conceding penalties and take a step up defensively I'm happy with him.

Also, every club needs one footballer who doesn't like the game and only does it to avoid working for a living. Good new hair, too.

Who are other examples of the 'player who hates the game' archetype?

Viduka

Andy Cole too, I seem to remember

http://www.rankopedia.com/CandidatePix/31457.gif
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eosGkndaIFM/RvuUqGjbvAI/AAAAAAAABFA/Qo6_csKuN9E/s400/adebayor26012007.jpg

EXCELLENT new hair xp.

i dunno if people actually read that legendary i-hate-football interview but it honestly seemed pretty reasonable to me, liked him more after it in fact.

iirc the main alarm bell was when he said his only friend in the game was taarabt.

I think Robbie Keane deserves a run in the team partnered with Pavlyuchenko, could be the makings of a terrific partnership there if Keane plays a bit deeper.

Agree with this (though if I was in charge it would be Keane to Celtic obv) though Keane sometimes takes coming deep for the ball to ridic levels. The other night he ran back 50 yards to collect the ball from left back then pass it to a centre half then run away again.

Seems Harry doesn't though - I think he'd be quite happy to punt one or both of them given the chance.

the thing i don't get about the harry-pav relationship is like, how many times in his career has harry indulged a (usually also ancient or mentally unstable) lazy talented bastard to good effect. is pav really that much worse than kanu or stefan effenberg or whoever?

oh wait hold on not effenberg... robert prosinecki

I think Harry's thing is that (he thinks) he's such a good judge of a player that once he's made his mind up about you the evidence doesn't really matter. He visibly grudged Pav his run of form last season.

like utaka amirite?

/lazy zinging

pav's clumsier than he is lazy, i think. he does quite a bit off the ball, it's just that (like berbatov) he doesn't stray too far from the last defender.

if keane could build a partnership with him they'd oust defoe alright, because when his goals dry up he brings not very much at all.

Pretty sure Redknapp has just decided that the best way to motivate Pav is to be a massive dick to him at all times so he's straining at the leash to do well.

Who are other examples of the 'player who hates the game' archetype?

DIOUFY!

nah other way round

coppel to manage this side obv

Tony Mowbray could take over when Coppell jacks it after a week.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/football/spl/celtic/2009/11/28/tony-mowbray-i-ve-never-enjoyed-being-in-football-management-86908-21856916/

I remember some Dutch guy - possibly Rangers' Fernando Ricksen - hating football so much that when they had a match dvd as part of training he physically couldn't be made to sit down and watch it.

he was fuckin awesome in CM2 tho so i forgive

Benny may hate football, but he loves London, the tube, and the poor.
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23867511-spurs-star-benot-assou-ekotto-proud-to-help-ease-plight-of-londons-poor.do

looks like england midfield general emmanuel frimpong has done his cruciates and is out for the season. ruh roh.

:D

sorry I mean :'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''(

do arsenal train on astro turf or something?

astroturf doesn't necessarily mean injuries, ken

I hope for our sakes anyway

it could kill players completely, louis
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/aug/17/ledley-king-spurs-harry-redknapp

I remember some Dutch guy - possibly Rangers' Fernando Ricksen - hating football so much that when they had a match dvd as part of training he physically couldn't be made to sit down and watch it.

Love the idea here of the training staff holding him down and propping his eyelids open clockwork orange style

shit ken well we'd better make sure it's them and not us eh

Beaten up and forced to watch through blue tinted glasses

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_T4mad2E-0Xk/R_R3uaSA3EI/AAAAAAAAAUQ/R4hmzplH-7I/s200/Karl+Room23.jpg

franzipanne rip he was definitely gonna be a midfield general this year

wait - sorry - nevermind guys - i forgot arsenal also have future england pitbull craig eastmond ready and waiing to step into the breach. that wenger eh? he just knows

:'D

Kinda intrigued to see if this Brett Pitman to Blackpool thing comes off. Waiting to see who Olly pulls out of the hat in the next two weeks should be kind of fun.

RIP Limppong.

did we do the guy wacking in a goal with his willy?
http://giaklamata.blogspot.com/2010/02/penis-power.html

that's like if sarahel's semiotics 4u copulated with un ligue en enfer

o_O

^ diagrammatic representation of his testicles?

 /   \
( o_O )

hmm that's more of a nose really

not googling "bawbag ascii art" at work tbh

   . .
 .
 |
 | 
o_O <--

startled troll toy

so these Gallas to Spurs rumblings are intensifying. maybe makes sense for a one-year deal?

FOOTBALL:Ex-Arsenal defender William Gallas is close to joining Tottenham, BBC Sport understands

oooo, this could be fun!

He's only doing it so he can make a tricolor out of all his shirts.

this fucking guy

Gallas to Spurs would be a disaster, the fans will hate him, he will hate them, throw a petulant strop probably after some high profile fuck-ups and he'll probably unsettle Bassong and Kaboul. I assume the idea is to play him whenever Ledley isn't fit as an experienced partner for Dawson but can't see it working out that simply. Also, he's a cunt.

Hodgson is now talking about farming Aquilani out on loan which seems a bit premature given that he's never been given a chance to impress at all.

I suspect I may have erred in basing my fantasy team around him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI6160pYZ8c

Real Madrid midfielder Rafael van der Vaart is eyeing a move to Manchester United after becoming one of four players put up for sale. The Dutchman said: "If you are leaving Real Madrid, there is only one club that is not a step down - and that's Manchester United."

Well, Utd did actually win something last season...

Paul Konchesky has been offered a new contract by Fulham to keep him out of the clutches of Liverpool, who are preparing a £3m bid for the English left-back.

lol

Liverpool takeover off

Luke Young and Paul Konchesky. That's how we roll these days.

lol

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/48817000/jpg/_48817488_liverpool466.jpg

such an ugly img

awkward canted angle, harsh cropping, minatory slogans, tesselation of constipated gerrard, aggregate colour of vomit

"Mark is aware of the interest of Arsenal. That knowledge is distracting and disruptive. It's not at all inevitable he will leave," said Hughes.

It's always difficult when a big club's interested in one of your players...

ne way having disparaged gerrard's ability at centre mid i thought he did pretty well last weekend

also hodgson is great obv

bit early to pass judgeent on hodgson don't you think?

no i mean he is intrinsically great

don't expect him to do anything amazing w/ liverpool atm but he'll keep them above water

ah, sorry. i obv meant judgement btw, not judgeeeent.

OK, Blackpool thing gets more interesting - Karl "I can't be doing with these agents" Oyston is in fact involved in bankruptcy proceedings, and Brett Pitman has failed to agree personal terms. That's a striker who was in League Two all of, what, three or four months ago, failing to agree terms with a Premier League club.

But never mind all that:

I worked the hardest. With all the heart-rate monitors and tests, I was always No1, far ahead of everyone. You see the performance in training and I was practically always the best player in training. If (Mancini's) standing there watching that, I don't know how he doesn't see that.

Welcome back, Daddy Dick.

Stephen Ireland talks a big game for a dude who looks like Michael Palin during the torture sessions in Brazil

he's not as talented as balotelli or silva, whatever he thinks

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/aug/20/william-gallas-tottenham-arsenal

lot of words just to say "wanker" eh.

quite funny that harry says he's getting less than he wouldve at arsenal. hard to imagine gallas isn't doing this purely for the puffed-up lolz.

otoh this move has been "on the verge" (c. bbc) for like two days now? these verges seem to get stronger every year.

edgar at crystal palace blimey

also <3 stephen ireland

Really wanna do a "Huang Pulls Out of Liverpool" gag about now.

lost in the davids (who will be tremendous for a young team even if he doesnt have the legs) story is counago and obika on season-long loans as well. i really really like burley in the transfer market, the guy is astute as fuck - palace might make the play-offs imo.

Really wanna do a "Huang Pulls Out of Liverpool" gag about now.
Kenny leaves Liverpool huanging out to dry?

I've seen men in black but I'm not sure what ian holloway means

The news that Peter Kenyon may well have been behind the Huang deal is p funny, no?

lol yeah he's used that one before - wrt saving the universe and making everyone at loftus rd forget about the bad times - but fuck knows what he's on about now; he has folded in ppl respecting his being in that position of power i think

beats k-punk i guess

Think Wikipedia went a bit overboard with its Dan Walker page:

World Cup 2010 'Jurassic Park' controversy

As part of the BBC's World Cup 2010 coverage, Walker commented that South Africa was "like Jurassic Park but with hotels". Many were confused and outraged by this comparison, with one Twitter commenter quick to point out that "Jurassic Park was built to be a theme park, like Disneyland. IT WAS FULL OF HOTELS."[5]

Others have defended Walker, presenting the possible explanation that he meant to say South Africa was "like Jurassic Park but without dinosaurs".[6]

Walker has since explained that "it just came out wrong" and has promised to set fire to his hair to make amends.[7] He has also provided the further explanation that his original intention was to say "it's like Jurassic Park meets the Trafford Centre. Something went wrong."[8] Walker's claims that he has notes to prove this have yet to be verified.

"I had rottweilers and now I have a toy poodle, which shows how you can change. I miss him."