Karaoke and the "n word"

Acceptable in Oliver's Army.

pretty sure girl would have rather you fluffed it than the alternative of screaming out the n-word in a crowded bar

you lost once you picked the song, sad to say (though it's a good one)

agree with gukbe- i think it's acceptable in 'oliver's army', maybe?

the real answer is "it depends" because I rarely if ever am going to get mad at someone quoting hip-hop lyrics verbatim during their karaoke set

the real problem here is that you chose Elvis Costello

All it takes is a karaoke nerd
One more bad rhyme scheme and one less n-word.

p much feel like it's always unacceptable, basically never want to say that word even if 'in character'.

have recently been wondering about replacing n-word with 'hipster' during karaoke tho, as per some random post on ilx like 6 months ago

yeah the real problem here is Elvis Costello

What if the song contains the word "blipster".

All it takes is an itchy trigger
One more widow (or so I'd figure)

I do rap songs pretty much exclusively at karaoke.

When a white person confronts an n-word in a karoake song, these are the rules.

These also apply to words like "faggot." I've also applied this to when Jadakiss says racist things like "stack chips like Hebrews."

ACCEPTABLE:
1. Leave the space blank. Say nothing! Just like on MTV.
2. Substitute whatever is actually in the clean version ("She ain't messin with no broke, broke," etc.)
3. Use a traditionally accepted, race-neutral, agreed-upon word that usually appears in clean versions ("brothers," "men," "homies," "peeps")
4. Scratch it out like you were Rahzel.

UNACCEPTABLE
1. Saying the n-word
2. Putting in any wacky, patronizing word that actually draws more attention to it ("ninjas," "hipstas")

personally I have never understood what the fuck EC meant with the "white nigger" line anyway. Like, I can see how it would be something an American racist would call a white person that's adopted the trappings of black culture, but that doesn't seem to have anything to do with the subject matter of Oliver's Army....?

I've really soured on EC over the years.

fwiw, In the case of Oliver's Army, I would have just left the space open.

One less white [pause]

OLIVAHHHS AHMMY IS HERE TO STAYYYYAYAYAYYYYAYYAYYYY

4. Scratch it out like you were Rahzel.

lol do you really do this? I would crack up trying to do this

i tend to leave blank à la radio edits - if i do substitute the word that springs to mind most is "joker", for some reason

i say "faggot", tho! cuz i can.

(this applies 90% of the time when i'm just rapping along at home, too)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Niggers_of_America

Those rules should be laminated inside every karaoke menu, Whiney.

:)

i assume the karaoke screen blanks out or disincludes profanities and the n-word?

personally I have never understood what the fuck EC meant with the "white nigger" line anyway. Like, I can see how it would be something an American racist would call a white person that's adopted the trappings of black culture, but that doesn't seem to have anything to do with the subject matter of Oliver's Army....?

I've really soured on EC over the years.

― Dr. Lol Evans (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, September 16, 2010 12:46 PM (48 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

In the 70s it was common for punks like Elvis, Patti Smith, and Lester Bangs to adopt the word to represent anyone beaten-down, forgotten, mistreated or otherwise ignored by society. It was a pretty dumb thing for them to do, tbh.

4. Scratch it out like you were Rahzel.

lol do you really do this? I would crack up trying to do this

― Dr. Lol Evans (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, September 16, 2010 12:47 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I've def done this on the "stack chips like Hebrews" part

It's not like they made up the word. Poor Irish were being called "white niggers" back in the 19th century. I'm pretty sure that Declan MacManus was aware of that.

woman is the ninja of the world

There is even a new word for black fans of indie rock: “blipster,”
There is even a new word for black fans of indie rock: “blipster,”
There is even a new word for black fans of indie rock: “blipster,”
There is even a new word for black fans of indie rock: “blipster,”
There is even a new word for black fans of indie rock: “blipster,”
There is even a new word for black fans of indie rock: “blipster,”
There is even a new word for black fans of indie rock: “blipster,”
There is even a new word for black fans of indie rock: “blipster,”
There is even a new word for black fans of indie rock: “blipster,”
“blipster”
“blipster”
“blipster”
“blipster”
“blipster”
“blipster”

― am0n (am0n), Saturday, January 27, 2007

have recently been wondering about replacing n-word with 'hipster' during karaoke tho, as per some random post on ilx like 6 months ago

― camphor jars (c sharp major), Thursday, September 16, 2010 4:40 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark

i assume the karaoke screen blanks out or disincludes profanities and the n-word?

― ('_') (omar little), Thursday, September 16, 2010 11:50 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

no!

'blipster' sounds more like someone who's into 8-bit music tbh

the real problem here is that you chose Elvis Costello

Good choice if you want your karaoke performance to be better than the original tho

xp to myself: which was shocking to me, tbh!

i saw a couple of black girls get up to do 'hypnotize' at a vfw hall that's been overrun by (not really hipster) 20-something kids on karaoke night, and there it was, the n-word, all over the lyrics screen. they were kind of laughing about it and nobody else was paying attention really. but it uh kind of caught my eye i must say.

even funnier considering the place's strict NO SWEARING policy. like if you drop an f bomb they get the hook w/o mercy.

obv this depends hugely on where your karaoke joints are getting their stuff from.

Anyway, got to learn to think on yr feet man, obv. you should have sung "One more widow, one less white blipster"

oh ugh is this "blipster" thing a thing? god help us all

hey let's add another racial element to the thread: could it be that a lot of the karaoke lyrics data comes from asia, where they might not really know what the deal is?

wouldn't that be chipster? (from chiptunes)
I've never met anyone who was into 8-bit music other than in a purely nostalgic sense.

I do rap songs pretty much exclusively at karaoke.

When a white person confronts an n-word in a karoake song, these are the rules.

These also apply to words like "faggot." I've also applied this to when Jadakiss says racist things like "stack chips like Hebrews."

ACCEPTABLE:
1. Leave the space blank. Say nothing! Just like on MTV.
2. Substitute whatever is actually in the clean version ("She ain't messin with no broke, broke," etc.)
3. Use a traditionally accepted, race-neutral, agreed-upon word that usually appears in clean versions ("brothers," "men," "homies," "peeps")
4. Scratch it out like you were Rahzel.

UNACCEPTABLE
1. Saying the n-word
2. Putting in any wacky, patronizing word that actually draws more attention to it ("ninjas," "hipstas")

― let's have a toast for the cumlords (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, September 16, 2010 12:45 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

GET HELP
1. Immediately

"Let me go awwwwwww-on, like a blipster in the sun"

Jackson Pollack
he was a ninja
ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja

wouldn't that be chipster?

Duh, Chinese hipster

hey let's add another racial element to the thread: could it be that a lot of the karaoke lyrics data comes from asia, where they might not really know what the deal is?

toothpaste and the "d word"

feel like the only thing to do is EMPHASIZE all horrible words and sentiments you encounter then spread yr arms out all like what you got a problem with me AM i TOO EDGY 4 U

http://www.a1reliablediscothequesandkaraoke.com/karaoke_sing.gif

or replace all of the surrounding words with horrible words and replace the horrible words with "KITTENS!"

'aggin'

Wow, y'all overthinking this. I was at karaoke last night doing some jay z and definitely said nigga once or twice, it was in the freaking song. I think you probably draw way more attention to it by coming up with some awkward substitute word. Please don't say "hipster" instead, that would be truly offensive.

Ninja ftw

Next up: the bitch conundrum.

we have threads for that already

bitch is okay because woman is the ninja of the world.

counterpoint to dan.

"And then I get the other kitten put it in the freezer
So I can always have a on-hold skeezer"

-far worse than the original.

"that little clampett was a millionaire" is a very underrated transformation.

I'm not going to lie, I've done it -- I do mostly rap songs at karaoke and I try to do them true to the lyrics in the song. I don't add in anything gratuitous.

But I'm respectful -- I obey the rules of the establishment, the karaoke host, and if someone takes exception to it, I apologize, and stop.

I admit it makes me feel uncomfortable and sometimes if it's easy to do without throwing me off rhythm, I institute a substitute.

Someone apparently wanted to beat me up after I did "Let Me Ride" once, which did lead me to not do it for a while.

I also did F*** Wit Dre Day with a friend who was black but obviously that doesn't give me permission to do it. I did Snoop's verse which had more of it than Dre's.

yeah i would never do this

Finja

this problem is exactly why I always carry a slide whistle

yeah i would never do this

Not only would I never do this, but I also mean karaoke

groove is in the heart just became unspeakably offensive to me xpost

mostly though everyone knows me at this karaoke bar, and I'm a regular and am known by most all of the patrons, am real close friends with the host, and all the bartenders. but I can't de facto say it's 'ok' that I do it, and sometimes I do blip it out. last time I did "When I Ruled the World" I said brother, for example.

I feel like a bad person now :/

bahahaha slide whistle exchange is beautiful

when the offending line comes up on the screen, pretend to have suddenly contracted amnesia - stammer a little (here "one more wid...one more widow...one...") and then look imploringly into the crowd, making occasional eye contact with strangers and asking the crowd as a whole "where am I? who are you people?" loudly over the backing track. look confusedly at the screen for a while. before the song ends, drop the microphone onto the floor and wander out of bar into street.

this is not a problem i have, i don't do much hip-hop at karaoke (my 'flow' is 'wack' iirc). but yea this makes me cringe way hard, which is something because karaoke is usually so cringeworthy to start

when the offending line comes up on the screen, pretend to be John Martyn - no-one will understand what the fuck you're saying

when the offending line comes up on the screen, pretend to have suddenly contracted amnesia - stammer a little (here "one more wid...one more widow...one...") and then look imploringly into the crowd, making occasional eye contact with strangers and asking the crowd as a whole "where am I? who are you people?" loudly over the backing track. look confusedly at the screen for a while. before the song ends, drop the microphone onto the floor and wander out of bar into street.

― aerosmith: live at gunpoint (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Thursday, September 16, 2010 5:52 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

LMFAO @ j0hn

the real answer is "it depends" because I rarely if ever am going to get mad at someone quoting hip-hop lyrics verbatim during their karaoke set

the real problem here is that you chose Elvis Costello

― juggalo iglesias (HI DERE), Thursday, September 16, 2010 9:39 AM Bookmark

^^^^

the biggest scum are people who sing Sheryl Crow/Kid Rock's "Picture"

I always replaced it with "dude" or "man," "homie," etc...
Some songs you just shouldn't do at Karaoke tho, even if they are available. Like Christian Death's "Romeo's Distress" for instance.

in my experience there isn't a single Whitehouse karaoke jam that won't clear the room

whitehouse karaoke would bring me str8 up to the front of the crowd

A duet would be on the cards

There was this guy once at karaoke who was making this kind of stoned laugh – "a-HA!" – instead of saying the n-word, which I thought was kind of clever, or considerate, or at least not super stupid. But then I realized he just could not keep up with the verses. He kept doing more interjections and fewer words and the song ended with him just going, "a-ha-ha-Ha-ha-HA" over the entire last verse.

man i did this once in front of no shit kevin liles of def jam, i was doing hypnotize by biggie for this demo of the new def jam rapstar video game and i just wanted to kill it so i just said all the n-words then i realized i had done it and felt kinda awkward

but i did the best out of anyone

this one chick did "Joyful, Joyful" from the Sister Act 2 soundtrack once. it was...quite weird.

My daughter did that at her Musical Theatre group

There was this guy once at karaoke who was making this kind of stoned laugh – "a-HA!" – instead of saying the n-word, which I thought was kind of clever, or considerate, or at least not super stupid. But then I realized he just could not keep up with the verses. He kept doing more interjections and fewer words and the song ended with him just going, "a-ha-ha-Ha-ha-HA" over the entire last verse.

― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Thursday, September 16, 2010 2:26 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol ya pretty much gotta memorize beginnings of phrases for rap karaoke or you'll be in the dust. hate that.

I could see it for a musical theatre group, but to do it for karaoke, and do all the parts, including the rapping was weird

I usually follow ice cream's rules upthread, but occasionally I haven't been able to resist

It's so real
how I feel
it's this society
that makes AROOOGA want to kill!

Admittedly I was not worried about scoring with cute girls in the crowd

that was supposed to be "I haven't been able to resist making car horn sounds in place of offensive words"

"homie" or "brother" feels waaaayyy weirder to me than the 'goofy' suggestions, I guess because it still plays up the BTW I'M WHITE Y'ALL factor. I guess it's okay if yr a white dude who actually uses those words in yr casual slanguage, but most of the time it just comes across as "ah fuck, there's an offensive black-person word coming up that I can't say, what's another black-person word that I can use instead... uhhhh shit, well they seem to like calling each other 'homie' iirc, let's go with that"

More offended by bachelorettes choosing "I Will Survive" and "Hot Summer Nights" and thinking they're being adorable tbh.

this one chick did "Joyful, Joyful" from the Sister Act 2 soundtrack once. it was...quite weird.

why would you insert the n-word into this

i just roffled at that, dangit Dan! :)

I have never yet encountered the n-word at a karaoke - not that I am habitue of them

ANYBODY doing "I Will Survive" will never get old. See also "No More Tears (Enough is Enough)"

ick come on, I Will Survive is overdone and sung by 16 year old girls who don't even get it.

but it's nowhere near as bad as the girls who do Baby Got Back :/

just want to pause here to point out that "juggalo iglesias" is all-time top 10 screen-name -- also, while you'd have to get kinda Twista/Bone Thugs about it, would also make a great sub for the n-word at karaoke as long as you were relentlessly consistent about it

for months at a time

many x-posts to myself:
whereas my defense of 'hipster' would run something like: I have thought about the range of meanings the n-word is used to convey in rap (insult of varying strengths, address, term of endearment, generic placeholder) and arrived at 'hipster' as an honest parallel within my own social milieu (i.e. I can use it while playfully insulting a friend, or while talking shit about some corny dudes we don't like, or just to be like "i see u", etc etc)

also gotta opine that I don't think the day will ever come when "I'm not that chained-up little person still in love with you" won't bring tears to my eyes no matter who's singing it and no matter how terrible a job they're doing at it

elmo otm

xxxxp 'jugga'?

(and just in place of a conclusion, I guess there's a bigger question here about what exactly you're "doing" when you go to karaoke (or sing along to a song on the radio, or at a party) that maybe needs to be addressed before one can start making prescriptive judgments)

haven't had to worry about this because i've still never found a karaoke joint with 'bombs over baghdad'. and 'i just wanna love u (give it 2 me)' doesn't use the n-word.

"I'm not that chained-up little person still in love with you"

Boy George where are you?

"man i did this once in front of no shit kevin liles of def jam, i was doing hypnotize by biggie for this demo of the new def jam rapstar video game and i just wanted to kill it so i just said all the n-words then i realized i had done it and felt kinda awkward"

I can't imagine the equivalent awkwardness playing a skating game in front of tony hawk.

doesn't really come up in dubliners tunes happily enough- tho irish as 'white nigger' is def a thing historically fwiw

Tories and Wiggas

I had forgotten how terrifying "Joyful, Joyful" is.

When it gets to the "OPP" part, part of my soul dies, bet then it goes on to quote "What Have You Done For Me Lately?" and the rest of my soul implodes and I am left actively hating everything and everyone and praying for nuclear Armageddon.

had to pull this one in mixed company once

if you think you can outrhyme me, yea boy I bet
cuz I ain't met a motherlover who could do that yet

Ahh man that "I'm down with G-O-D" thing made me smile when it was a bunch of 10 year-olds doing it

I use "motherlover" on occasion but tbh you can't really use "motherlover" in any situation where you couldn't just say motherfucker

xp: It's actually fine and uplifting in the context of the movie but hearing it on its own, let alone thinking of it as a KARAOKE song, makes me weep for all humanity

I would say motherlover in front of my kids, motherfucker not so much

would like to do this at karaoke

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Kf4kyQabwQ

remembering now, i had an issue once with the the end of "rebirth of slick" -- the line "cuz i'm black like that." i felt awkward saying it so i did it in a smarmy "white" radio announcer voice, which got a cheap laugh but it was still awkward.

I would've lol'd

wonder how the shitty jam bands that have covered songs like Gin n' Juice dealt with this

My younger son has totally memorised the words to "Help the Police", he wants to do it at karaoke to.

how about subbing "neighbor" - does that work

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCAM3C3dpIA

Gin n Juice doesn't have the n-word in the lyrics.

my local host loves the profanity, which is good. I hate though that the version of Nothin But a G Thang she has is the clean one so I have to on the spot remember the dirty words.

or, as I am sometimes known to do, I cheat and use my Blackberry to get more accurate words

yea G&J is a good "n-less" song

oh btw for Dan....

JOYFUL JOYFUL LORD, WE ADORE THEE
AND IN MY LIFE, I'VE PUT NONE BEFORE THEE
CUZ WHEN I WAS A YOUNGSTA I CAME TO KNOW
THAT YOU WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GO

how about subbing "neighbor" - does that work

neighbors are scared of revolution

i do have neighbors i love to hate

irl lol @ da croupier

i play with a cover band that does big pimpin', hypnotize, some wu tang stuff, etc and i'm pretty sure the singers (who are mexican & native american btw) just go for it.

aside: gotta say i am pretty impressed by some of the karaoke song selections that ppl post on ilx, because ugh i have yet to find a local place that has a karaoke book that would include anything i would be psyched about singing / more than 2 david bowie songs

remembering now, i had an issue once with the the end of "rebirth of slick" -- the line "cuz i'm black like that." i felt awkward saying it so i did it in a smarmy "white" radio announcer voice, which got a cheap laugh but it was still awkward.

― tangelo amour (elmo argonaut), Thursday, September 16, 2010 6:52 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark

i mean i make do. but i can only ballroom blitz so much, and i need at least 4 drinks and 2 songs before i go there. xpost

And my love runs deep/ so deep/ so deep/ I put her right to sleep

elmo I bring my own a lot. one time I brought an instrumental version of "Wu Tang Clan Ain't Nuttin' Ta F With" which was met by blank stares by most of the hospitality industry that were there that night.

This is why I only sing "Here I Go Again" at karaoke.

aside: gotta say i am pretty impressed by some of the karaoke song selections that ppl post on ilx

I know, I often think this too! But then I just go to the same karaoke place, usually, which hasn't updated their song selection in almost 10 years. Maybe I'd have better luck elsewhere.

this one redneck sang "If I Ever Fall In Love Again" by Shai once...and he was actually really good.

"homie" or "brother" feels waaaayyy weirder to me than the 'goofy' suggestions, I guess because it still plays up the BTW I'M WHITE Y'ALL factor. I guess it's okay if yr a white dude who actually uses those words in yr casual slanguage, but most of the time it just comes across as "ah fuck, there's an offensive black-person word coming up that I can't say, what's another black-person word that I can use instead... uhhhh shit, well they seem to like calling each other 'homie' iirc, let's go with that"

― haven't you people ever heard of theodor a-goddamn-dorno (bernard snowy), Thursday, September 16, 2010 2:31 PM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Come on, son. I mean, I say homie all the time. You should feasibly be fine with saying homie if you're not one of those shitheads who can't say it without using big Bennett Brauer air-quotes

im just going to use this topic as yet another excuse to post the mighty mistake that is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QJCITPtKqY

Don't call me neighbor, Whiney!
Don't call me Whiney, neighbor!

wow that Cypress Hill "cover" is just.... no

yea but if you use "homie" or "brother" in a certain way you end up sounding like someone's clueless dad (e.g. mine)

so if the "b" word comes up in a song, do you say it too?

Witches ain't shit but brooms and sticks

yea but if you use "homie" or "brother" in a certain way you end up sounding like someone's clueless dad (e.g. mine)

― tangelo amour (elmo argonaut), Thursday, September 16, 2010 3:25 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I'll def agree with this, though. But then again these people should probably have no right even attempting a rap song that isn't like "Humpty Dance"

I like to do classic Fresh Prince songs and insert gratuitous n-words and b-words

this chick issued a 'challenge' to me one night, then laid down....Eminem's "Cleaning Out My Closet". I think I won by default.

come listen to a story all about how
This b**** n***** got twisted upside down

I'm not gonna attempt any rap karaoke at all until I master Expert level on Def Jam Rapstar.

And my love runs deep/ so deep/ so deep/ I put her right to sleep

― da croupier, Thursday, September 16, 2010 7:20 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark

Stereotypes of a kitten misunderstood

xp: haha that's almost as good as the radio edit of "Get Low" adding in more repetitions of the word "skeet"

the fastest song I've mastered is T.I.'s Dead and Gone but I have to sneak in breaths

this game sounds pretty fun; how's the song selection?

Here's the tracklist so far:

http://worthplaying.com/article/2010/9/9/news/76795/

Someone, please, stard a band called Karaoke and the N-Word.

Or at least name your backing band that.

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://costumedaggression.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Michael-Bolton-Office-Space.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.pendulumlive.com/pendulumlive/files/viewthread.php%3Ffid%3D5%26tid%3D3081%26action%3Dprintable&usg=__XoCbQ3VLVC2tUgbMh1i5RfMfef8=&h=133&w=250&sz=872&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=ZaZABGzFfdI1tM:&tbnh=106&tbnw=170&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmichael%2Bbolton%2Boffice%2Bspace%2Bgif%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D578%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=345&vpy=263&dur=1301&hovh=106&hovw=200&tx=99&ty=83&ei=H3SSTPmGCIaksQOptOXACg&oei=A3SSTOnwHo6gsQOdl5nBCg&esq=6&page=1&ndsp=14&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0

N-Word First and the Karaoke Karaokes.

I like to do classic Fresh Prince songs and insert gratuitous n-words and b-words

the Fresh Prince of Tourette's

A couple years ago n/a, Eazy, Jenny, Jeff, jaymc, La Lechera, and probably other ILXors and I were doing karaoke at a dive that had some terrible looking stand up comedy tracks, including Jewish Humor, Celebrity Jokes, and others like maybe Lawyer Jokes . I chose "Celebrity Humor" because it seemed like it would be especially ridiculous.

When my turn came, what came up on the screen was not celebrity jokes, but a series of dumb racist jokes, including classics like "the Chinese man asks his wife for 69 and she says "What? You want me to make sweet and sour pork?!" and "Toys R Us for black people = We B Toys" and "Why do Mexicans' low riders have such small steering wheels? So they can drive with handcuffs on."

I read almost every last one of the jokes because it never occurred to me that I could stop and say "This is not what I ordered!"

The bartender apologized profusely and bought me a beer. And I didn't get my ass beat.

I always thought he was saying one more widow one less white wizard.

"Toys R Us for black people = We B Toys"

this is terrible but I did giggle a little

the Chinese man asks his wife for 69 and she says "What? You want me to make sweet and sour pork?!"

I like the posited sexual universe in which a man says to his wife, "I'd like 69, please"

tbf, "69" is such a goofy term to begin with. Like there's literally no sexy way of requesting it.

i mean, even if the chinese dude wanted to be all suave about it, what would he say?

"to make sweet and sour pork"

Kinda thought this was what 69 defines in the first place, if pork is the verb here.

I was going to make some horrible cunnilingus/analingus joke but it didn't really come together and I have to leave work

Yeah, I bet there are people who talk like that though.

The attempt at suaveness is always what saves that joke in the telling. I think I've told it with a little elbow-to-the-ribs motion, and he bashfully gets up the nerve to ask, and then she just tears into him. "Wat! You wan sweet sour poke at 3 in the moning?" etc., etc.

As a witness to Jesse's standup, I'll say that just about every ethnic group in the number was also represented in the bar that night, raising the stakes of the whole thing. I've never laughed harder.

has anybody outside of a prostitute/john (yes i know, stfu wise guys) relationship ever actually asked for 69

(the 69 joke is the solitary ethnic joke in my repetoire, honest, but it's one of my favorites for better or worse)

Aerosmith underestimating how corny people can be.

"Honey, do you want to..." (raises eyebrows) "...sixty-nine?"

karaoke at a dive that had some terrible looking stand up comedy tracks

wwwowww what the hell

killer story btw

like i can see someone wanting to get up and do an old pryor routine or something, but, damn

that event was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life btw

f u jesse for not including me in your story, I told you about this thread

the best was one of the mexican jokes (not the driving one, I don't think) where you were like "we don't do that!!!"

i'm not convinced there's a sexy way of performing 69 tbh

The woman against the wall and the man upside down.

Shit! Sorry Dan, I knew I was forgetting people! I can't believe one of them was you.

http://www.derbyparkinsons.com/Images/PD_society%20logo.jpg

^^ sexy

xp it's OK <3

i'd rather be your H-I-P-S-T-A
so we can play funk and eat cheese all day

the best was one of the mexican jokes (not the driving one, I don't think) where you were like "we don't do that!!!"

― dan m, Thursday, September 16, 2010 10:27 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

lololololol

i'm not convinced there's a sexy way of performing 69 tbh

high challops

oh jesus you're not going to get all tl;dr about that are you

I also did some accents. But I think some were the wrong nationality, ie, Chinese accent in the Jewish joke.

There was something about dumb Poles too, which goes over well in a Chicago bar.

that event was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life btw

agreed
iirc this was also the same night a guy got up and sang "what a fool believes" in a michael mcdonald voice without breaking character and i dedicated "into the night" to r kelly.
an impressive evening

oh jesus you're not going to get all tl;dr about that are you

― are you interested in getting into a detailed car with me here? (goole), Thursday, September 16, 2010 10:47 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

we have a board for this iirc

copyrighters and grammar fiends:

do you ask for a 69, or do you ask someone to 69?

latter

it is a team activity iirc

"participate in my 69, darling"

i love where this thread has gone btw

dicks and vajays and stuff

That's the tricky part about telling the Chinese-couple joke, though, because the guy has to ask for 69 for the takeout punchline to work.

Or else the guy is rustling around in bed, wakes up is wife. "What you wan?" she says. "Um..." "What you wan?" "Um...69?" Etc., etc.

voulez-vous performer un soixante-neuf bébé

for all my ninjas and my birkas, raise your motherflubber hands in the air

i just got the chinese couple joke :/

isdgi

we have a board for this iirc

― p.m.s.b. (pre-mall smoke bomb) (zorn_bond.mp3), Thursday, September 16, 2010 2:55 PM (7 hours ago) Bookmark

yeah. you can thank me here for not posting there.

"You are 17, I am 52. Let us do the math together."

omg

Ages scientifically chosen for maximal creep factor.

obv

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Spent this weekend wishing The Grey Album were available at karaoke bars.

ban

I'll def agree with this, though. But then again these people should probably have no right even attempting a rap song that isn't like "Humpty Dance"

― let's have a toast for the cumlords (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, September 16, 2010 7:30 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark

Can I just say, as someone who takes pride in being able to NAIL "Humpty Dance," there are a fuck of a lot of people out there who think they can do "Humpty Dance" at Karaoke and they are wrong. Ditto tons of other pop-rap smashes, including the above-mentioned "Baby Got Back," as well as "Gettin' Jiggy With It" and oh god, just dozens of things that people fuck up all over the place, no idea of the rhythm of how the song goes and it's so disappointing cause when it first starts you're like YESSSS!! and then it quickly turns to NOOOO!!! but this is part of the karaoke experience I guess.

re: thread Q - - - I have always just done the silent pass-over. It becomes sort of nutso when you get to "Brooklyn Zoo." The karaoke DJ himself, afterwards, suggested the "ninja" approach which I think is only okay if you're the sort of karaoke performer who wants people to regard you as zany and wacky. It is actually kind of funny, but I just think it would be distracting, like taking you out of the thick of the song for this joke about not saying the N-word.

rap karaoke differs from pop karaoke in that you actually kinda have to practice it first so that the opening words of each phrase are in the back of your head, or else you'll never keep up.

that and the fact that often times the words are wayyyyyyyyyyyy wrong. like I did Hip Hop Hooray once and there was a reference to bacon bits instead of monkey bits, and a whole bunch of phrases that were so wrong, I got lost.

Same thing with Mo Money Mo Problems -- I actually whip out my Blackberry and use the words from the internet now until I've screened the onscreen words first.

When Karaoke Gets The Words Wrong

Looking forward to reading about Ninja Jim on the Mississippi.

trying to think of a non-dorky way to do "Hard In Da Paint"

try blackface

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on1uilp7XVg

this one rather

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjeEWcqYaXs

whiney, my loud apartment versions of "hard in the paint" just substitute the name of whoever's nearby, often the dog ("I go hard in the motherfucking paint, GUS, leave you stankin, GUS," etc.), so my suggestiin would be to go do karaoke with at least one person you don't know very well and then make him/her uncomfortable by getting right up in the face and being like "wtf you thankin, GREG." like, aggressively.

straight outta compton crazy mothafucka named Ice Cube
from the gang called Greg with attitude

The host from my hometown news show just became my friend on faxebook! Heart you J.

Wait, wrong thread.

i was gonna say that's one wicked weird rhyme scheme

That Greg's Crazy

Anti-Greg Machine

The fact is, you ain't Greg cuz you Black
You Greg cuz of how you act

I go hard on the motherfuckin' news, Gus
Leave you on Facebook, Gus

We were at a karaoke bar near Loon Mountain, NH a few weekends ago where we were treated to the hysterical sight of watching four white women struggle through "Country Grammar (Hot Shit)". Watching them hit the N-bomb at the end of verse one was already hilarious, but then verse two started. They were standing there staring in horror, with one of them muttering into the mic "I can't say that!" and eventually they they all just shook their heads and and had the DJ shut it down.

lol!

I think my wife would have been mad had they just tried to read the lyrics; I was laughing too hard at the whole situation to really have an opinion one way or the other

perhaps we can start substituting "yakoo"

ahahahaha

I would have just walked away from the mic resolved to pay attention to what I was selecting. In other words, probably would have behaved no differently if I somehow managed to get up in front of an n-bomb littered song.

when i did it "work it" i forgot about the kunta kinte part and just kinda didn't say anything when it came up

Have always wanted to be drunk enough to do Ice Cube's "Down For Whatever" at karaoke, but sober enough to do a radio edit.

thought this was gonna be about katy p

ha I just looked up that story and am now imagining her fleeing the club, frantically dropping N-bombs

I had to go check the country grammar lyrics, and yeah, now that story is like 5x as funny. I remember being put off by his lack of creativity in that rhyme scheme when that single first came out.

haha yeah I had completely forgotten that second verse or, rather, gotten so used to the radio edit version

basically the only worse choice they could have made would have been jigga what.

clover what? clover who?

one shot could make a clover do a full flip
hey ma how you know clovers wanna buy you

They were all "'Who say pretty boys can't be...' uh... um... 'Run in the club and bust in the crowd...' oh no... ... ... (uncomfortable muttering for the remainder of the verse while n-bombs dance across the screen) 'I'm going downtown baby...'"

I think actually it was the beginning of verse three that made them tap out, they were all "phew we're safe 'Let's show these cats to make these millions/So you-' OH COME ON"

had a moment like this w/erykah badu's bag lady in a new york karaoke bar a couple of years back. totally didn't utter the n words obvs. almost as stressful - the two minute section at the end when the screen just flashed "IMPROVISE" (i cannot really sing at all, was v v drunk though).