fall 2010 \\ what, do you run with the nyu glory hole crew or something? \\ cheers 'n queers

Happy Fall, boys and grrls!

http://www.amandastevens.com/uploaded_images/init2-776769.jpg

thanks for the opener, jordan xo

let the games begin.

Wheee!!!

I love the \\s

good!

PS omg is that Parker? Because I had a dream about Parker the other night.

yup

what was ur dream?

I would never have found this had I not looked into the glory hole.

but now you've found it!

how do u feel

um, hey guys, have a weird problem. kinda TMI.

i have either a UTI, gonorrhea, or chlamydia. it hurts to pee.

i'm scared? i don't have health insurance, but the Berkeley Men's Health Collective has free STD testing today. but if it's a UTI, i'm kind of totally fucked...

anyway.

fuck.

t3d, in the spirit of tmi, i'm goin thru somethin very similar right now. got all the std tests back and they were all negative so i'm going to a specialist on tuesday. it's really scaring me, but i think it's going to be ok, for me and u.

if it's a UTI ... do you have any doctor friends, or friends with doctor friends? my friend goes to a clinic where they charge you according to what you pull in as income. i'll ask her about it just in case it might be of any help.

also hugs

thanks surm.

the issue is mostly that i highly doubt the STDs, as i've only been with m4tt in the past two months, and unless he has...uh..anal gonorrhea, which is pretty rare for the most part, i think it's probz a UTI.

anyway, u rule, sorry you're going through the same shit.

Hey gayz! Just sayin sup. And my thoughts are with you, table and surm.

sorry to hear, guys. drink lots of cranberry juice just in case?

tangential point: do any of you guys actively seek out gay doctors? someone on my FB feed was putting out feelers for a good gay doctor in NYC, and at first i was like "why is your doctor's sexuality important to you?" but the more i hear about gay friends of mine getting misdiagnosed with STDs by alarmist straight (mostly male) doctors the more i see their point (cf. a friend was diagnosed with gonorrhea of the throat (!) after telling his doctor he recently had sex with another guy; a few days later the doc called back and was like 'um jk it's actually strep')

i was just looking for one, if u get any tips on fb pls let me know

my go-to out here is CarePractice, who are 2/3 gay. they are on the border of the castro and the mission. they charge $90 per visit, plus usually $10 for antibiotics. i'm actually really into them.

i mean, i go to them when i'm reallllly sick.

so...

my doc is a straight man about 60 in a yarmulke, but he's cool with me. Cracks jokes about the ineffectiveness of the digital prostate test while he's... well u know.

*cracks*

i just watched the golden girls episode where dorothy gets misdiagnosed for chronic fatigue syndrome. it was a new disease at the time, so no doctor could tell her what was wrong with her. and she got upset. like really upset. i've been going thru just a fraction of that these past couple of months and let me tell you, it has not been exciting. so excited, tho, to finally have an appointment for a 2nd opinion on tuesday. can't wait!! dr stein, here i come

love when she sticks it to that asshole neurologist at the end

and his wife tells him to shutup

that's also the ep where blanche has delusions of grandeur from lack of sleep and thinks she wrote the greatest novel of all time

the two-hour block of golden girls from 11pm-1am has been the highlight of my day since moving back home

I haven't watched golden girls in years. I can't recall one single episode.

i just watched that one too don

one of our cats ran away, we think

worried about him, hope he comes back

i finally saw that blanche hallucinating episode right after rue mclanahan died. it made me laugh so hard i spit out my coffee, then i cried.

x-post :(

i'm sorry dd :( but you kno, cats have an excellent track record of finding their way home

yes rue is an instance of perfection, no doubt

dr3w, i hope yr kitty comes back!!

and....here's a question for you: how do you deal with jealousy in yr relationship? does it factor in at all?

i'm like, happy to sleep with other people, and want him to be happy too, but i also just get weirdly afraid and jealous feelings when it happens.

on the open-relationships thread, someone said that self-confidence is the only way these things work— people need to feel secure in their primary thing. and i feel pretty secure, but also...*sigh*

nothing in particular brought this on, btw, things are going pretty well as of right now.

omg that's my thread!

right?

I have been thinking of the same thing as of late. I've always imagined any relationship I'd be in would be open but recently realized I would get v jealous. I am sort-of/not-really-"seeing" this guy (I guess it's a fuck buddy/fwb type deal?) and it would be preposterous/oversteppy for either of us to suggest we, like, not sleep with other people, but at the same time I like to think he's only sleeping with me.

there's no magic formula, and the longer the relationship lasts the more you have to keep checking out whether following the rules that you've both agreed on is actually making you happy. Sometimes it is not.

the open thing kind of ruined my last relationship (twenty years ago) and though that one was doomed for lots of other complex reasons, if one half is constantly acting on their freedom and the other half isn't it can get way strained.

Some couples I know have handled it this way: it's cool to fuck around with other people when I'm not around, but if I'm around, don't do it. Or . . it's cool to fuck with tricks/strangers, but don't fuck our mutual friends. That seems to me to be a good general rule of thumb, if only because, rather as with affairs in the workplace, if things go badly you still are going to see that person and then it gets majorly awkward to run into somebody if things got gnarly. Threeways are another route for open relationships to go: only mess around with a third wheel together (this has been way fun in my experience most of the time, but can get comical and/or just plain unwieldy if any of the three people are skittish).

If jealousy is kicking in, then you have to stop being open and get back in synch, I think; open-ness only works if people are both feeling confident and basically happy with where they stand. It can magnify any insecurity in a situation pretty quickly.

I can't dispense too much wisdom here without feeling like a hypocrite because I"m still dealing with the emotional fallout of a fling that was supposed to be fun and casual and instead has become very, very emotionally heavy for yours truly. My bf and I are rock-solid but this last whatever-it-was has forced me to rethink my tidy little scenarios about how you can keep love and sex and friendship in neat, well-defined well lit zones and they'll just stay in place. I won't go into it but it involves a lotta heartbreak and no little embarrassment and awkwardness now when I run into a certain person who is not my boyfriend. Somtimes you have to make choices and not just pig out just because you can, you know?

yea once that happened to me and the guy fell in love with me and fucked himself in the head. douche.

sorry don't mind me.

my cat came back this morning, the rogue

happy to see him again

thought he was a goner but he couldn't stay away, etc.

aw kitty! glad he is safe.

congratulation!

give him an extra tousle in the tumnmy for me

tummy

Looks like fall for the gay thread is fraught with peril.

Good luck, surm and tabes. Please keep us posted.

thank u very much

yeah, thanks alfred.

and dr3w, yeah, that makes sense. i'm sorry about this last thing that happened to you, i know how that feels.

i think that for me, it's not that i'm afraid of my emotional connection w/ m4tt waning— we are best friends, pretty much, and i don't see that changing. it would be hard to keep us apart for more than a few days, actually.

it's more that i'm having problems keeping my confidence up in terms of the bedroom....like, he hasn't really been able to get it up recently b/c of issues with titrating off of evil bad drugs (which is fucking awesome and i support him), and so whenever he 'sees' someone else, i'm like, 'is he lying to me? did that person get him to stand attention?' he's assured me this isn't the case, but i wonder...yknow? i guess it's just that i always worry about whether i'm like sexy enough for my partners. i dunno.

and yay for kitty come-home!!!

but ur cute!

me on the other hand, i hardly feel like a man sometimes

tho i look perfect today, like my skin

what is it with people always wanting to be like a man?

what's "a man" mean? Is he rough or is he rugged, is he cultural or clean?

there is a certain pride

it's like a dog

hmm, i dunno about that.

really?? whenever thre is something wrong with my body like that, i feel a loss of a sense of masculine pride

huh, see, i'm more along the lines of, "damn, my masculine body be fuckin up! how is it that my virile charms have turned on me?"

that's healthier

i was just quoting you surm!

the other night i went to a gay barbecue. there were 9 gay men there, and that's it. 1 of them was visiting from beirut, and so we traded lebanon stories. his mom has the same maiden name as my last name.

and then we talked about the latisse commercials.

omg you're right!

i know, i have conflated feelings about it. i mean i love being a woman, but at the same time, when it comes to sex, and my body - i have that something else.

surm have you ever done drag? what wd yr drag name be?

i've never really done it no

i had a name once but i forget, i'll think

in keeping with yr heritage i nominate Barbra Ganoush

omg that's good

that IS good.

um, so, hey. it isn't a UTI.

based on other symptoms, doc says it's probably chl4mydia. gave me the treatment, but still...

fuck.

probably? did he take a test?

also chlamydia is no big deal, right?? u just take the pill and ur done. are you just bummed about the cost?

well, he was like, 'you obviously have something wrong with you, and it's either a kidney infection, chlamydia, or gonorrhea. i can treat you for the first and it'll get rid of all three.' and i was like, 'please do.'

yeah chlamyd is a shot or a horse pill in conjunction with some zithromax, i got the shot, my arm fuckin HURTS.

hahaha. right. see i was thinking i might have a kidney infection. ugh. ok. good, i'm glad you're doing this.

good luck w/ yr appointment tomorrow. now onto better things.

namely, my mom called and i told her what was up and she was like, 'well, you're only young once!'

which made me lol, actually.

I have such a nice tan, gays -- I must take advantage of the weather before autumn.

It's great having a pool.

good for u stud!

lol moms

This Jake G. photoshop is making me lol long time.

don't get it but i like it.

although i think i prefer jake's actual bod, bit more chunky.

If anyone rents that rotten Prince of Persia let me know if the cut scenes are a pec-o-rama.

Gays, did you HAVE to put "glory hole" in the title? Why tempt fate that it shows up in office spyware?

look on the bright side, someone in the office might have a drill bit with a 3" head.

probably not the guy I'd like it to be

i much prefer jake's actual bod, his tummy kills me

good morning!

i'm gay!

is it true?

Thanks for forcing me to open that link at work. It made me gay.

I am gay as pie this morning, I am on my way to the city to see pavement and chatting with a rly hot artisty dude on Scruff along the way :)

my bf is going. why does everybody like pavement all of a suddehn i had never even heard of these shits

bf = L 7

wait, there's a social thingy called SCRUFF now?

Because they're C as fuck. Also the boy I'm chatting with, his irl last name is D1ck.

: |

Scruff is like Grindr but it's for bears

New Yorkers ITT: I'm officially subletting in Brooklyn for the month of October. Hope to see you then!

woohoo, that might even get me away from TV baseball some night :)

Ok, you two and ramz and everyone else have to hop a Chinatown bus to Philly one of these days

hi, lou!

Instead of Scruff I head to the Sunday Eagle beer blast when I want to be around bears. Most intriguing couple the other night: bony, shirtless young otter and squat, sixtyish clergyman in collar and cross.

LOL

Hi Alfred. When are you visiting again? Not October, I hope. :)

right before i leave for the other coast, lou :/

or, i guess right after, rather (my flight's in a week - eek!)

I am off Columbus Day if you guys want to do something mildly debauched that weekend (like said Eagle clusterfur). Eric the Newly Asexual, you should fly in.

Probably not in the cards, but it's awfully hard for me to resist the opportunity to turn down one or two, maybe even a few hot guys.

we could take a group shirtless pic

or look for a publisher for our 2011 calendar!

wait donna, i missed this— yr coming out here? yay!!!

SoCal, t. still! close!

i'm leaving for my doctor now

bye!

good luck surm!

Um...so law school is full of gayz? Disproportionately so. My new friend C4rl0s and I were counting and we are definitely overrepresented. Not sure what to make of that, esp. since there are also more girls than dudes in our year. That said, one of my profs is brilliant and gay-married and involved with the blood ban court case in Canada, so there will be tons of fascinating queer legal discussion in the future.

Other than that, not much is new. Wish I could NYC with y'all, but I am BUSY. Too busy even for boys busy!

I've been following your Facebook posts, Alex -- you're in the...thick of things.

Haha. The thick of things? Hasn't even STARTED getting properly busy, from what I've been told. On the other hand, my brain is 12x more stimulated than I was serving coffee last year, and there are some really great opportunities for research experience etc. And we've got enough of a radical contingent that as part of extracurriculars, I'm probably going to be doing work on policy brutality and so forth. So, that's exciting!

I just wish law made a bit more SENSE.

the law is a ass, as Mr Bumble said

Where is surm, is he alright? I worry...

....

oh i'm fine, i mean, this one gave me something i don't know what the hell it is, but he still doesn't really know what's wrong with me. he told me i can have sex tho. he's like " but i would wear a condom bc it's a bad world out there "

meanwhile i'm trying to imagine the logistics of wearing a condom for oral sex

whatever, it's an ongoing thing but i'm trying to smile

Hi y'all

HEY!

COREY! share news with us!

Surm is that what he recommended? For oral? More and more I am hearing recommend condoms for oral but it's like, what's the point? Like yes you can go visit the museums but you really should wear this blindfold...

It's like eating corn on the cob without butter.

corey! Stories from the front?

It's like eating corn on the cob without the corn

i mean he didn't say that but he INSINUATED it

reminds me of that ABC lyric: "She's a vegetarian except when it comes to sex."

Nothing much. I've been offered a gig (probably non-paying) for reviewing contemporary music concerts here in town for Musicweb International. I've also been going around to things with BF. Now he's in Minnesota and leaving for Tokyo for two weeks on Friday. It's gonna be lonely.

I should participate in these gay threads. Being, you know, gay and all. But I'm trapped at the hovering-at-the-edge-of-the-room, nodding-and-smiling, looking-for-a-conversational-lead stage.

that's so silly, ur username is cute

troubled diva as was!

hi mike, good to see you here. we need more brits! i sometimes find it hard to break in too since a lot of the guys know each other.

phil-two and Jesse never post here either

I hate that damned user name! I stopped being "troubled diva" a while back, but the brand identity persists. Hi Jed. Hi surm. *shuffles nearer the group*

Me, last Sunday:

http://i1212.photobucket.com/albums/cc441/troubleddiva/31cb96c0.jpg

Re. the UTI scare: my partner has just recovered from a UTI, that was brought on by his recent cystoscopy. It wasn't pleasant. But antibiotics cleared it up.

Re. "how do you deal with jealousy in yr relationship? does it factor in at all?" - I'm 25 years into a non-exclusive relationship, and for whatever reason it has always worked. We don't do jealousy. Open or monogamous, to me there's the same level of trust involved. You either trust him never to fool around, or else you trust him to always come back.

I want a boyfriend who will have sex with any and everyone BUT me.

25 years, wow. Congrats.

Eric don't get all Wildean

25 years!!! you are looking good on it, mike. i like that painting also.

Thank you! The painting is by the wife of quite a well known St Ives artist, but I forget both names.

it looks a bit like ben nicholson, maybe it's barbara hepworth? she did paint early on.

yea lovely painting. and lovely you!

:P

Not quite THAT well known! :-)

We were doing a profile photo shoot for *cough* Grindr *cough*. Well, why deny it?

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ah yes, well i wondered but i thought the pic could have been taken in a gallery or you could be a multi millionaire or something.

<3

It was taken in our "snug". There were *cough* other photos, including one which left a teeny-tiny glimpse of underwear above the belt. This was then auto-cropped by Grindr after a few hours, cutting me off just below the navel.

The same thing has happened to friends of mine, leaving me to conclude that there must be a resident prim Victorian matron installed at Grindr HQ, forever reaching for her smelling salts and her scissors.

PS happy fall motherfuckers!!!!

ok can we get a little more excitement here

leaves, cocoa, woody allen movies late night during the week

hot toddies

88 degrees today in baltimore = i wish it *felt* like fall cuz I'm dying in a jacket and tie in this weather

but with the incoming mountains of student papers to grade I know it is fall semester at least

I enjoyed an al fresco lunch in shirtsleeves yesterday, here in sunny Nottingham, so am still in Fall Denial Mode. However, the shirt was in appropriately autumnal shades of brown and yellow.

fall is my favorite season! (too bad the LA forecast for next week is in the UPPER 90s ugh)

ew

are you kidding

happy fall! so ready for warm drinks. i want a hot toddy made with cabin fever (which is a maple whiskey, omg)

or hot cider with ginger brandy.

omg maple whiskey

88 tomw in NYC

I hate winter

i had some of that maple whiskey straight up this summer, surm, it tastes like naughty waffles. so great.

can't even

EIGHTY EIGHT !!? shoot me now

Naughty Waffles wd be a nice drag name.

guys, my butt hurts

i've been reunited with my bike this week but being out of practice the seat is murder on my tender cheek-meat. i really need to firm those babies up.

Last year was the first time in my life I really got *excited* by fall (but I was sans-apartment and couchsurfing for 2/3 of it which sort of made it not as fun as it could have been). It just has this magical/enchanting/snuggly/wonderful cozy aura about it. I'm very, very excited for fall this year.

Also I have been offered but never had a hot toddy.

Elmo you should invest in a nice saddle. You will thank me for it.

hot toddies are proof that god loves us and wants us to be wrapped up in big comfy afghans for approx. four or five months out of the year

Usually, I can't wait for autumn - but I had the most wonderful summer this year, and I don't want to accept that it's over.

Hot toddies are great when accompanied by hot teddies.

...

i'm in glasgow, there wasn't really a summer.

why are dubstep producers the hottest musicians

^^ sounds like the set up for a punchline

nope

evidence plz

You guuuys, I have the most devastating crush on Kingdom. :/ :)

oh wow, he is kinda babe-ly

http://kkingdomm.com/uploads/2010/01/kingdom-mixtape-vol-ii-300x300.jpg

i'm into l-vis 1990's look

http://www.mixpakrecords.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/l-vis.jpg

OH wow

BOYS, meh

http://turrbotax.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/joy-orbison-main.jpg

http://www.diagonalthoughts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/mount-kimbie.jpg

The one on my left looks like one of my first boyfriends.

lucky you

http://drinkmusik.com/Images/NightSlugs_BokBokLVis.jpg

when l-viz and bok bok were in the xlr8r offices, i had to leave for a second to relieve myself of my massive boner.

also btw this isn't dubstep it is 'funky' okay?

The one on the left has a vague surm air.

i feel like my life would be so improved if i could give off a vague air of ramzi

like, people would just be "there's something different about jordan now..."

hmm. i feel like people would be like, 'who is this person from nyc?' haha.

not that that's a bad thing, just that things are different in california.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

don't forget i also have tennessee blood in me

o and btw jordan thank u for ur suggestion last night. i think i will write a song about lindsay lohan. perfect idea.

There was some movie preview I just saw for something called "Easy A" and it looked like she was in it? but I think I might be wrong.

no that's not her.

so wait u think i'd be weird in CA is what you're saying teddy bear

u think ppl wd be like who the fuck is this freak of nature neurotic with pale skin

I think they are.

"Ew is he reading a BOOK?"

i know but i wore bronzer today

It's official, I'm gonna be the new reviewer for contemporary music concerts in Chicago for Musicweb International. I'm 'cited!

omg that's so cool

very cool!

congrats corey

awesome! right up yr alley

right up you buttinski

is how my eyes read that

last night i watched marci x and "in the butt" was one of the songs in it

but corey, writing about music is like dancing about architecture (j/k)

morbz, i dance about architecture all the time.

Stevie, you have no idea what you're talking about. http://www.thedailybeast.com/galleries/787/1/?redirectURL=http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-10-04/americas-smartest-cities---from-first-to-worst/?cid=bs:archive9#gallery=787;page=1;item=

and surm, i dunno, i just feel like you have some traits that would fit in really nicely, and others that a lot of people here would be like, "who is this east coast person." not to discount then tennessee in you. or to say that's good or bad. just the truth.

interesting

i don't think i'm very chill all the time, but sometimes i am, and i get along with a lot of people. people think i'm funny.

Oh I know, it was just a lightheartd zing. For some reason when I think "California" I think "LA" and in turn bad tans and pink lipstick and Us Weekly.

those are all things i associate w/ nj, oddly enough

OK I'm crawling back into my hole now.

hah, sorry. i watched 'los angeles plays itself' last night (the doc, not the porn)

i do kind of hide in new york, in a way that i don't know i would be able to in california

depends on what you're hiding from

~deep~

way

Oh my Lord! A friend in Manila has immortalised me in semi-fiction:

http://flashfiction.ubudwritersfestival.com/2010/09/nsa-no-strings-attached-2/

Bear in mind that a lot of it - but not all of it - is invented. It would spoil the fun to be more specific, though.

If you like the story, please click the "thumbs up" button. There's some sort of competition going on.

also btw this isn't dubstep...

Oh yeah, I didn't mean to suggest Kingdom is dubstep. Just confessing my love for him. :)

real talk, gays: I need lubricant recommendations because this warming sensation stuff is just no.

warming sensation lube is for *her* pleasure iirc? uh

i've used & enjoyed maximus, which is specifically for anal use

any non-skeevy sex shop should have tester bottles, right? at least they do here

ew

how do you test them

lol @ you all talking about my friends being hot!!

imo you haven't even got to the hottest ~uk bass~ producers and djs yet

manually, like between your fingers? it give you a good idea of the viscosity etc. the shop here provides a box of tissues beside the test bottles. xp

I use Genet-style lube

*hork*

lol i tend to uh, produce a lot of saliva, so that is a reliable option for me but maybe not for others

NB: saliva not phlegm, ew

i'm a fan of PJUR eros (available at toys in babeland iirc)

Anything I can like get at cvs? It's not even warming I think, it's like extra sensation! Or some shit. I didn't buy it, he did.

vag-intended lubes are way too thin imo, i couldn't really recommend any drugstore variety for that reason

My Friday night cancelled -- "flu." He actually wrote "influenza."

"la grippe"

why am I hammered after TWO gin & tonics lately? bartender must be generous w/ the G.

also, what kinda gay bar shows Knocked Up at happy hour? One of the most disgusting straight movies ever, even with Paul Rudd's dimples.

xpost

TS: uk bass proudcers vs nu-Balearic producers, I have a constant crush on Air France, TTA and Lindstrom but those pictures of James Blake and Bok Bok are turning my head

why am I hammered after TWO gin & tonics lately?

lol u old. It's happening to me too.

cheap!

well, i wish i was having cheap sex after two.

in terms of lube, everything they sell at CVS is garbage, stevie. you have to get good stuff.

i go for either
http://www.ryanandkaren.com/images/organic%20lub.jpg

or
http://gfx1.gamelink.com/GLImages/goodvibes/ProductImages/Large/22FM18.jpg?qlt=75&wid=175&fmt=jpeg

the first is technically for women, but let me tell you, it is NOT too thin. and it is slippery to the max.

guys, i'm really looking forward to this STD bullshit clearing up. i was talking with sarahel about it last night at a show, and we both laughed a lot.

Oh, I know it's crap lube, haha. I just can't be arsed (ha ha) to pay $20 for lube.

Oh weird, that was in reference to a post I never actually posted. Nevermind.

well, i was given a little teasing by a guy i was with that my lube was shit. so i made the investment, and now it's hard to go back to CVS. which, imho, smells and tastes a bit like cloves, which is not a turnon.

Yeah, I was teased about it too, but that person was also a horrible stupid idiot.

Not saying your guy was also horrible and stupid, but this just came as another example in a line of not-so-subtle needless criticism.

with him, it was more gentle, "oh, the delightful smell of home-baked molasses bread on my penis" type joking. which wasnt mean-spirited, but i got the point.

scented in general = nein danke

I think I need to have "the" conversation with D4n about sleeping with other men, because, even though I know he doesn't, I still want to, and I'll feel bad if I keep doing it without him knowing (I just got back from a great hookup with this guy, who I will probably see again this week). I just don't know how he'll react and I really care about him.

lots of x-posts, but i wish i could track down a copy of 'los angeles plays itself.' i always missed it when i was living there and now i miss l.a. a bit too. but slc can make you miss being anywhere else.

How stainy are silicone lubes? I hear they work great but I totally don't want to ruin anyones sheets

Matt: it's on YouTube in segments, that's how I watched it

Matt, if you torrent i can let you know where you can get it, send me a webmail if you like.

although, with the whole lawyer thing maybe you don't torrent.

why yes i do, sent u a mail

sent.

trying to decide: to Folsom or not to Folsom? i'm kinda on the fence. it's the sort of thing i'm cool with, but really, every year is the same: lots of leather and lots of dicks and lots of money being thrown about needlessly.

never been, but I'm considering it some year for the novelty. Folsom East here is a pretty small block party in June.

find this whole thing strange but fascinating, vacillating between a total turn off and the ultimate turn on (in my head!). at any rate i would go if i could.

so go.

Happy Sunday, gays. Some retro homoerotica for ya:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik2YF05iX2w&feature=related

i went to Folsom, and compared to years past, it was kind of tame. had an awesome time, though, because lots of people gave me compliments on my outfit (frosted pink shades, aqua mesh tank, black bikini briefs, and black/alligator skin cowboy boots). also, all my punk friends showed up and we just took over an alley and took nasty pictures and drank all afternoon.

took nasty pictures

ooooh?

more just all the boys tucking their junk in, lots of smacking, etc.

I met a very nice boy in a SoMA alley about ten years ago.

i just want to say that i think Jesse should still post here. what happened, exactly? he and elmo got in a fight? i mean, i understand needing time, but to totally abandon a forum because of one argument just seems strange.

that's all i have to say.

a fight about what? where's ik,r?

who the fuck knows what it was about

ti@rnan's around

He just mentioned he "banned himself" from this thread.

who? and why?

Jesse. I don't know why.

he just mentioned this recently?

i miss you, ti@

Yeah, in the Chicago thread.

right, cuz you 2 live there. (right?)

well that's weird. i mean, he was my bro. and now he's gone.

beefs are forgotton but bros live on

i just took 3 advil

you crushed them and sprinkled them in red wine

is t traveling?

no i did not crush them but you just reminded me of something

i don't know if he is traveling, i just know he's alive

speaking of: i am gonna be on a plane headed west in fifteen hours o_O

Eh, it's a message board -- why hold grudges? I've had my clashes with a few of you. We're brothers in Sodom.

'nothing out of our loins, sweetie...'

good luck, donna!

ha, donna, i love that one.

really deserves a youtube, no?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NabkuN1Qktg

i wanna walk through sodom with a boy on my arm
who's so damn pretty i don't i don't know where i am

"nothing out of our loins, sweetie... will ever see the light of day" really has to be a gaythread title at some point.

^^^^^ winter thread title

i'm starving

ryan's making chili

i briefly had 'i, jonasbrother be' as an ILX handle

thx alfred! here's hoping i do not melt in the sun (it got to 113 there today, wtf)

uh

what

i just asked bear if i could come over and he hasn't responded

you like bears?! I wouldna guessed.

he's not a bear, but he likes giving head

he's kind of into being submissive, like smacked around

(which is actually fairly common, i find, and great)

nice delayed response, surm. Was he going at that sucker all night?

i may or may not be getting a puppy. i don't know yet.

OMG A PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(no he wasn't actually i told him i might txt him tonight but it's all rainy and romantic, and i don't know if i want to be romantic with him, i mean i almost could but no)

d's coworker has a maltese who just had 5 purebred pups, so we have a few weeks to decide. i think i like the idea. tiny fluffy white dog. cute.

:D

kinda questioning if i am prepared for it. i think i am. 'parenthood.'

u can do it, u will look so good with a dog on a walk

and also the love that will be added to your life will be immeasurable

and the shit scooping

already own a cat; shit scooping is no new thing

my cat was so starving this morning

What is your cats name?

Pussycat Doll.

Nola

she's gorgeous

she has a little white heart underneath her chin

i now live with a cat named Floyd and a cat named Nardz. she's neurotic and crazy, and he's the happiest cat i've ever dealt with. loves me.

cue "didn't come into this thread to talk about pussy" jokes

You guys, THIS:

http://www.thesisters.demon.co.uk <-------POLARI BIBLE. Psalm 23:

1 The Duchess is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 she maketh me to lie down in green pastures: she leadeth me beside the still aquas.
3 she restoreth my nishta lucoddy: she leadeth me in the paths of bonaness for his name's sake.
4 any road up, though I mince through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no nana: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy trolling fakement they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my eke with lube; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall troll after me all the days of my life: and I will lett in the lattie of the Duchess for ever.

guys i fucked up.

i might have totally destroyed my relationship w/ m4tt.

i can't sleep. i can't stop crying. and i can't stop thinking about him.

uh oh

what did u do? IM me

tabes, please come back!

gays, I've a question...

Almost three years ago I came out to my parents. Our relations remain healthy and rewarding (the comfort of older people finding commonality in shared jokes and love of sensual pleasures like food, wine, etc) but for a gag order imposed by Dad. At the time, he said that if I dated a man he didn't want to know about it, and if I insisted on inviting him to a family outing, please let him (Dad) know so he can bow out. It was the best "deal" I could get at the time, and it survived even a serious relationship that lasted from September 08 to January '09.

Last week I awoke to find I had no interest in seeing my parents. Since we live a few miles from each other I'll visit them for drinks or dinner once a week. Now I simply don't want to do it anymore. I'm not in a relationship yet I can't swallow the indignity of the gag order anymore. Having a niece and seeing arrangements get eked out in which one's totality isn't accepted in the context of extended familial interaction is a strain beyond words and reason (my sis and bro in law are totally cool with me btw).

Is it banal to start an argument when I've no cause (i.e. no relationship)? Lately I can't bear it anymore. Going through the motions of family is so tiresome.

you should certainly say something to them, in essence offering up that they accept you wholly or straight up be done with you -- they seem like... generally reasonable people, and i assume they'd choose the latter. i think having a relationship w/ one's parents is important & valuable, but if you're not getting anything out of it then there's absolutely no reason for you to go through motions that are a complete drag on you

would you be okay w/ seeing them if they 'accepted' you fully? or is that incidental to the fact that you get nothing out of the relationship?

Alfred, trust me when I say that you should talk to them about it, but that the outcome might not be one you want. I don't think my mother will ever get over the fact that I'm a queer.

and hey guys, r4mzi and i chatted, and i've been talking with my housemate/bestie Jaime, and i think things will be okay. it will take time, but things will be all right. despite all this happening, he told her last night: "ted is my best friend." so....that has made me feel better, just knowing that at least i have a best friend who feels comfortable enough to sleep with me.

i also wrote him a letter apologizing, explaining my feelings, and essentially just saying that i hope we can move on as close friends and partners in crime.

hopefully, i'll see him tomorrow or friday.

Thanks, boys. This is about as confessional as I get -- in life and cyberlife.

The night will be long, tabes, but the hope you're showing is encouraging.

he texted me back after he read my note. he says it's all good, that we need to be true to how we feel, and it's a hard middle ground. we're hanging out tomorrow.

so, i'm okay. in fact, i'm kind of ecstatic.

now, i go to show. have fun boyz.

Queer Rutgers freshman who killed himself after his roommate tweeted photos of him making out with a dude is making me really, really, really upset

one of the more depressing stories in a while

Like it just pains me so much to think that this kid had no time to transition from the random assholes he was dormed up with into the really queer-friendly Rutgers that I knew for 5 years (tons of queer organizations, a queer frat, a queer-ish dorm, a queer minor, etc etc).

Ugh, that's terrible.

so sad, so callous.

guys, FOUR KIDS in the past month have killed themselves for this reason. FOUR. one for every week.

i have been following this shit, and i just don't know what to do any longer but shed some tears.

it is unfathomable to me that this shit still happens. i just...i can't believe it. it makes me more angry than any other shit in the world right now.

Alfred, when was the last time that your Dad mentioned the gag order? Also: how often, if ever, do you reference your sexuality in conversation with him - and how does he tend to react?

so, my friend Aaron-Carl died. he was an amazing talent, and also a FAGGOT PAR EXCELLENCE. check out this hiphop male/male seduction track:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQKlEhdXlbE

tabes, that's good news.

Alfred, when was the last time that your Dad mentioned the gag order? Also: how often, if ever, do you reference your sexuality in conversation with him - and how does he tend to react?

Never. It never comes up. Were you to watch us interact, you'd think, "OK, these guys get on fairly well."

I'm fairly stoic, as anyone who knows me will attest. I have a horror of confessions and don't assume parents and children shoudl become friends. But lately it's as if I was a shadow on a wall at gatherings; I've no personal life to share. All I share, actually, are one-liners.

Alfred, you just have to weigh whether that 'backgrounding' of the issue is bothersome enough to sacrifice the entire relationship. I was barely sexually active when my dad died, so I never broached it ("Hey, do you know what tearoom trade is? you're looking at it").

But by the sound of it there's not even that much of a relationship to sacrifice, is that the jist of it? I'd say totally bring it up. It'd drive me nuts to know that a "relationship" like that was founded on the basis of just never bringing up this huge aspect of my life that the other party did not accept or approve of

T3d, so sorry. 'Homo-Erotic' was one of my favorite old techno discoveries of the year, was shocked to see him pass so soon.

I mean it's not like "Oh man I love kitties"/"ugh, I hate kitties, let us never speak of them!"

But by the sound of it there's not even that much of a relationship to sacrifice, is that the jist of it?

Actually, there's a considerable one. It's like I've never come out, actually.

It'd drive me nuts to know that a "relationship" like that was founded on the basis of just never bringing up this huge aspect of my life that the other party did not accept or approve of

Totally – that's the dilemma.

what if S&M was a "huge aspect of your life"? (for hypothetical purposes only)

So, the parents have had three years to acclimatise to your sexuality. And yet it's never discussed. Deadlock on both sides. Have you considered testing the water with the occasional passing remark, then assessing their reaction? They may feel as awkward with the conversational omission as you do. Try opening the door fractionally ajar, and seeing whether they step over the threshold.

what if S&M was a "huge aspect of your life"?

Oatmeal's a big part of my life.

So, the parents have had three years to acclimatise to your sexuality. And yet it's never discussed. Deadlock on both sides. Have you considered testing the water with the occasional passing remark, then assessing their reaction? They may feel as awkward with the conversational omission as you do. Try opening the door fractionally ajar, and seeing whether they step over the threshold.

― mike t-diva, Thursday, September 30, 2010 5:15 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

amen to this. you might be assuming that a freakout is coming but don't forget the Proust quote (translating loosely here) "people make irrevocable decisions in fleeting states of mind"- if your dad said something right around the time you came out, he was probably bugging out then in ways that he might not be now- he's had three years to get used to this fact and to see that you don't have horns and a tail just cuz you're gay. So you could mention "going to a gay bar with some friends" and just let it sink in. Try the "you be cool and they'll be cool and it will be cool" approach before going for the nuclear option of an ultimatum

The worst part about my last serious relationship: not a single instance of my having to say, "No, sorry, guys. I can't get dinner tonight b/c I'm going to the movies with my boyfriend."

I've experimented with the incremental approach: I'll say, "I'm getting dinner with a friend" and let their imaginations reel (usually I mean when I say it's a friend). I'll give it a try.

The only post-coming out blowout occurred when in October 2008, two weeks before the election, I told my dad Obama looked like he might disappoint on LGBT "issues." After his initial dumbfoundment, he shouted that I'd "broken our promise" and "things have changed forever." Of course, nothing did.

(when I came out, btw, he was the rational one while Mom collapsed in hysterics. He actually said, with a small grin, "I know")

t-diva otm. it is easier to test the waters if you have a relationship, just because that's a "safer" topic you can get them used to. there's so much self-consciousness on both sides of the conversation (in my experience) it takes consistency and confidence to find out where both sides stand. try mentioning a date or something; make sure to include one of your singular bon mots! it'll probably be awkward at first but keep at it. it might get worse and in that case you have to cut them off and let them decide if they want a relationship with all of you or none of you. but it will probably get better! like the twentieth time i brought up my "gay life" (admittedly a relationship) with my parents i finally had enough confidence to act somewhat natural, and they picked up on it and acted somewhat natural back. it was exhilarating! they're still confused, bigoted, and mormon and i still feel like they will always qualify my life and accomplishments with "but he's made the wrong choices," but i'm not hiding anything and they can think what they want.

dr m, doo-doo brown bedroom taste has nowhere near the same impact on most peoples' lives as sexual preference imo

x-post just tell them you're going on a date! or that you went on one, and you said something dumb, wasn't that funny? etc

thanks, Matt!

Actually, thanks to all of you. After rolling around my head for days, the Rutgers incident almost made the decision for me.

Let us know how you get on, Alfred.

A horrible week all around, it seems. And we lost the equivocally gay Tony Curtis on top of it all. But this Morbs zinger seriously had me laughing out loud: "Hey, do you know what tearoom trade is? you're looking at it." That and repeated viewing of Jiminy Glick are about the only thing keeping me going right now. Good luck to us all.

hey jo3, thanks.

and yes, a terrible week. but hey, let's just continue being STRONG and AWESOME and a good example to young kids, just like Aaron and so many others.

<3

I wish I could say more about this. I just feel helpless and angry.

And T and Alfred, thinkin' bout both of you.

^^^

thanks, guys! A lot better this morning (not that I was losing sleep over this).

OK so it's no secret how riled up this has gotten most/all of us, and it's really made me want to do something about it, and so since I live back at home right now 2 miles away from my old HS where my fave teacher of all time is the GSA advisor, I contacted her and expressed an interest in coming to a meeting (next Wed) is the first. Note that my brother, who I'm p sure "knows" I am gay on some level but who we have never told, also attends this school.

Out of respect I gave my mom a heads-up that I was going to go and speak at a meeting, and she FLIPPED OUT. And the whole time I maintained this resolute and composed demeanor abt "this is what I'm going to do" which made her even more angry and upset. Her points were:

• If I go to this meeting he will find out through other people, and that's not fair
• When people find out his brother's gay (we look exactly alike, there is no hiding it), he will be teased and tortured and made miserable by all the bullies
• I am being a "fucking selfish bastard" for wanting to go all gung-ho on my ideals without regard to anyone else's feelings
• If I do this she will kick me out of the house

Like what do I say to this? Like she just doesn't get it and thinks I'm being really, really selfish about all of this. As some of you may recall we went through this saaaaame thing a few years ago when I suggested coming out at the place where we both worked.

i think you need to call her on her bullshit. it sounds like she's ashamed of the fact that you're gay and is using every other reason in the book to guilt & threaten you into shutting up about it. i'm not saying you need to call her eviction bluff but you need another place to live, my friend.

And she doesn't understand why of all places I have to take up THIS HUGE CRUSADE at this ONE PLACE, like why can't I do it on the internet (lol) or at another high school (that I know no one at and have no access to). She keeps telling me that it's no one else's business and that I should just not tell anyone, and that I'm on some ego-stroking mission to make myself feel better at the expense of all these other people.

I don't know HOW to call her out on it because I keep calling her out on it and she DOESN'T GET IT!! Like, Mom, things WILL NEVER CHANGE if everyone just kept quiet about it!! Also, if I tell my brother, it will be a "huge burden" on him to keep it a secret from my grandparents (WHAT?!?!) who will not be accepting and thusly put my mom btwn a rock and a hard place.

As a courtesy I'd inform your brother first.

I mean she IS embarassed about it and she DOESN'T want anyone knowing, and she's so blinded by it that she's telling me I'm being incredibly selfish by trying to tell other people, because if I don't discuss it then no one will have icky feelings about it and everything will be OK.

And yeah, I was going to inform my brother first, and I'm sure it won't be like the raddest news he's ever heard or something but he's a v cool little dude and I'm sure that in the long run he will be OK with it, but in the event that my mother found out I told him she would probably become hysterical.

Stevie this sounds awful, so sorry you have to put up with it

but otoh if u plan to do this meeting you prob should come out to your bro directly, even if it contradicts your moms wishes. he should hear it from you imo.

but yea yr mom is displaying very selective empathy, wtf.

xposts

agreed that bro should hear it from you, tho---getting it as hearsay around school could seed resentment

also: move out if you can!

Am working on moving out STAT. How do I make her understand what I am doing is not out of selfishness though? Like this won't get through to her. Once a few years ago she actually said, in regards to very awkwardly keeping it a secret from my friends at work, "Some people keep it a secret their entire lives, why can't you do it for another few months?!?"

To make matters even more awesome I have found that my room in the basement has flooded for a second time in the past few months except this time it's much worse and a ton of my shit got wet.

Friday, October 1: National Day of Awesome

ugh yr mom, what a shitty horrible thing to say.

as to making her understand: accept the fact that you can't. you can express yourself to her but you can't make her listen. do what you need to do, and hope that she will, one day, understand.

i get so so so so frustrated every time a parent reacts to news of their kid's coming out with some variant of "how could you DO this to ME?!", like it's an act of revenge. it's petty and point-missing but furthermore it's a difficult stance to break down and i don't envy you this one bit, stevie. but i'll echo what others have said, you should tell your brother first - it seems like he'll be reasonably cool with it, if what you say is true, and then, hey, that's one more person who knows. and it should go without saying that it is a super awesome and brave thing that you want to speak at this meeting and don't let yr mom's general shittiness about this topic get you down about it one bit.

feel like I should lend out my mom to a troubled teen out there. I think shes disappointed I'm not gay, tbh. not that she didn't give it her best shot, what with the figure skating lessons, child acting, and ~explicit~ and unsolicited encouragement to grow a ponytail get an earring and set my sights on being a Solid Gold dancer. like she said this, to me.

donna otmfm

unsolicited encouragement to grow a ponytail get an earring and set my sights on being a Solid Gold dancer

this is amazing, i want to see yr solid gold moves

One of my exes was pretty sure his parents tried to make him gay.

Too much sorrow going on in this thread so soon, but sympathies extended all around.

they're pretty solid tbh.

thinking I might do the cirque du so gay bike ride/race tomorrow cuz the news this week has been upsetting and given me a finer appreciation of the awful shit my gay bros have to tolerate, and maybe riding my
bike around is a way to say "I got u man"

also these fun lesbians invited me, and they smoke hella weed

Too much sorrow going on in this thread so soon, but sympathies extended all around.

but yeah, this, don't want to glib up the thread, keep yr heads up everyone. the world is full of hateful jerks, but not ~entirely~

The most appalling thing is that she actually thinks shes being accepting and is "at terms" with it, but that she "sees the big picture" and that this is the way the world works, Steve, and it's not really something you should be telling people

GBX you will be gettin smiles from me

that's pretty rad of u! + lesbian pothead bonus points.

nice to see u again btw mr river wolf. :D

greetings

"the way the world works" is such a bogus argument, as morbs reminds us every day on the politics thread.

stevie, yeah, tell yr bro first.

and about your mom: she sounds even more batshit and unreasonable than my mom. i mean, my mom can say some hateful, insensitive shit, but she also knows that my life is my life and i get to do what the fuck i want with it.

also, talked to both of my parents yesterday, and they are both TOTALLY PISSED about what's going on with these teenagers. i was actually shocked at how vehemently angry my father was.

I've got a mother who is unreasonably controlling about who talks to who and says what in our family, and I've found the only way to stand up to it is to just have the conversations I want with the people I want to have them with. Stevie, if you responded to this emotional blackmail by just telling your bro and grandparents what's going on in your life, what would happen besides your mom no longer having an information-management hold over you?

do you plan on telling the grandparents at some point?

re: grandparents, maybe. Grandfather is SUPERconservative ex-HS football coach who watches Fox News 24/7. I don't expect him to handle it well. But yeah, the problem is I'm currently living in her house (which I will now be working overtime to correct).

My mom is all upset about the Rutgers kid too and her solution was that they need to put things on the housing questionnaries about "would you mind living with a gay student", and work on things at a college level first and THEN move down to high school level five or ten years down the line. Or something.

Like, she is so fucking stupid about how gay works.

my grandmother is the only one in my family who doesn't need to know. Grandchildren exist as objects of indulgence anyway, not human beings.

what's funny to me (cuz u gotta find SOMEthing to laugh about), is the fact that yr fam is apparently totally chill with you bein vegan, which from a practical "we share a house/meals/holidays" standpoint has got to be more irksome than whether or not yr into dudes.

fukkin gay how does IT work

my grandmother will never know. but that's because she's 88 and never talks about sex, period. my father once said, "i'm pretty sure mother didn't even know what happened when dad got on top of her."

everyone else in the fam knows, including my racist southern side, and they're all super cool with it.

See??? Like she had this huge meltdown once where she felt like I'd cornered her into telling my stepdad and she called him in tears and was like "Bob, are you sitting down? There's something I have to tell you." He thought there was someone at the door trying to kill her or something. She is so so overreactionary and thinks that they sky will fall, and what's funny is he was like "So?".

And re: vegan, I cook all my own food and shit for dinner/holidays/etc. I did once try to clear out my own shelf in the fridge but people keep putting shit on it/eating mine sometimes/etc so i give up.

^^^rad @ tabes fam

I know some ppl have had truly, deeply awful experiences tellin fam, but I'd have to think that makin it known as widely as possible makes it less of a ~thing~ to the ppl inclined to be horrified. like for every person that says omg can u believe tabes is gay??? there will be five that will say "huh" or "yeah" or "so?" or w/e

it is my firm belief that, really, most ppl would be like "so" if they found out that someone they knew was gay. they might still think ugly things, and it might queer lol certain aspects of the relationship, but even bigots know they gotta share the cafeteria with the other guy

maybe too optimistic about humanity tho

i mean, my dad makes funny jokes about his gay co-worker, but that's because his gay co-worker accentuates everything in this really dry, boston brahmin accent...but with a lisp. i find it as amusing as he does.

also, yeah, the fam is pretty all right, but i dunno, my closest cousin on my moms' side says shit like, 'hell i don't care if yr a queer.' then five minutes later i'll pull out a menthol cigarette, and he'll be like 'yr STILL smokin those n*gger cigarettes?' it's kind of like 0_0

dude ppl are 0_o pretty much across the board

also its just so easy to retain a vocabulary of casual indignities when u remain immersed in an environment that permits or encourages it. like I still catch myself saying "retarded" even tho its disrespectful, but no one calls me on it, so I'm left to police myself

also dude menthols? jesus

what are these camel crush cigarettes that they are not menthol but if u "crush" the filter they become menthol

it is fucked

Yeah those are wack. BTW the other day I just came up with what I think is an excellent drag name: Barbara Menthol (or Barbara Smooth or Barbara Otralight)

b menthol is tight

btw what, if any at all, do you think dan savages influence has been/will be on the youth of today? obv he is not really a household name, but I kinda think he's basically a force for good in this world. and I have had at least one v straight friend admit that reading him has completely refigured his views on sex/uality.

gbx and everyone else: i grew up in Philadelphia. i started smoking on newports. i don't usually smoke them, but once in a while, esp when i'm visiting home, i buy a pack out of nostalgia.

in other words, menthols are smoked by a lot of african-american folks (philly is 42% african-american), and growing up around a lot of them made an impression on me.

that said, camel crushes are vile.

dude just clowning

the only menthols I smoked were ones I cadged from mssngr bros, who smoked them for basically ur reasons. but sub chicago for philly

but still man they are far more reprehensible than yr chosen lifestyle. I mean you can smoke what you want but god why do menthol smokers just have to be up in my face about it christ

(joeks bruv)

u need to chill

menthols remind me of my mom, so nostalgia points for me too

:P

u r right

u_u

another suicide at JWU here in RI --

fuck

jesus

AGH FUCK THIS WORLD

Well boys...

I inadvertently walked into a threesome tonight

Was p fun

I inadvertently walked into a threesome tonight

Was p fun

Isn't it? I stumbled into one at the beginning of the month, and it was p awesome.

THREESOMES FOR EVERYONE!

(OH HAI DERE GAYZ. I HAVE BEEN BUSY LEARNING AND STUFFS BUT I AM THINKING OF Y'ALL AND SENDING MY BEST. To be honest, it seems like we're all having a pretty rough month and could genuinely use those threesomes.)

there are certainly worse things to stumble onto!

in the interests of singing a lighter note: i think i might have a date this weekend! already! LA, you are a treat

Where was the threesome -- at a Chili's?

Ouch

Threesomes are great only if everyone's equally involved.

i would always trade sex for two meals at chili's

alas...

Chili's is so gross, who are you people.

fighting over food is counterproductive. just eat, and focus on the real enemy.

that said, i am taking m4tt to Red Lobster for his birthday (or at least i say i am. i think i'm actually gonna take him to this amazing sushi place. BLINDFOLDS)

banaka, gtfo. you have no idea who any of us are. my comment was in jest.

the politics of food are not to be treated lightly.

j0rdan, did you listen to that Aaron-Carl track i posted? it isn't, like, ground-breaking, but it has some good wordplay in it, especially on the verse with Humility's Hand.

post it again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQKlEhdXlbE

i mean, it sounds like a gay guy doing a Missy song, but it's kind of...uh...well, i think it's catchy.

are banaka queer? Do banaka have gender?

aight i'll listen to it in a bit

banaka get out of this thread

why are u guys being so mean to banaka

You're wasting energy, surm. It's counterprodutive.

i have to be honest tho that i had chili last night and i shouldn' have

like really

shouldn't

Was it burny? That's the worst

no it was really nice, my boyfriend made it but like, it's that kind of thing that while scotch might be good as an ingredient IN chili, it's not necessarily good as like a cocktail with chili, do you know what i mean

banaka is a troll/sock

also i feel chili should be consumed before 12 oclock midnight

i ate a burrito around 11 last night. it was delicious, but woof.

like really if u ever that moment staring into the fridge at 1am looking at the leftover chili, just turn around and say no, and smoke some weed

burrito i think is more acceptable but still what's with liquor being the death of will power

fucked up

i didn't drink much yesterday. only five beers, which is minimal for me. so, my stomach is okay. also, my figure is looking better. eh, go figure.

yea

I ate chicken parmigan with six glasses of wine.

i was telling lou that 5 is like the minimum and he was like waht, i drink 2 beers

omg chicken parm

+ wine

After which I had a visitor. OKCupid's been very good to me.

woah u had ur meal and ate it too

Well, I ate the buffet while he had to stick with an a la carte entree.

I'm eating noodles and butter.

tonite, i think m4tt and i are making dinner with our friend from portland.

also, i am going on a bike-ride to buy lube.

oh, and i saw this boy r0se for the first time in a month last night, and it's stil...like...ugh...
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs287.snc4/40687_1246712067455_1819021091_462878_7738143_n.jpg

he's so hot it hurts.

Well, I ate the buffet while he had to stick with an a la carte entree.
--raging hetero lifechill (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn)

I'm sorry, I can't even begin to decode this

Also surm I didn't mean burnt when you were eating it, per se. And weed would just make it worse.

Burny*

Only one meat entree offered, Stevie.

tabes, he IS hot but are those studs in his ears? I've never liked those on men.

\o_O/

those are gauges, but they're not too big. i only cant deal with the HUGE ones.

like really if u ever that moment staring into the fridge at 1am looking at the leftover chili, just turn around and say no, and smoke some weed

real talk

Guys is it tacky to get your right ear pierced?

With a small gold hoop

my mom says no

yes, yes it is

at my high school that was how you could TOTALLY TELL that someone was gay, if they had their right ear pierced. cue several nervous hetero boys all with their left ears pierced.

when i had my industrial (in my left ear) it caused MASS CONFUSION

http://opaleen.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/opaleen-rihanna-big-gold-hoop-earrings-215x300.jpg

it is tacky

except not on rihanna

i have my left ear pierced and i'm always happy cuz i did it that way and not the gay way

so happy i could die

so the woman i'm living with gives early saturday morning piano lessons. in the room adjacent to mine.

dfgnldfngmlgmnlfdnmg.df

aww i would love that that's so romantic

at my high school that was how you could TOTALLY TELL that someone was gay, if they had their right ear pierced. cue several nervous hetero boys all with their left ears pierced.

ha yeah this was totally a thing, but no one i knew could ever remember ~which was which~

one of my friends got his ear pierced (forget which ear), and i think the anxiety/subtle teasing (~drama kid~) is what compelled him to get both done

have u ever seen that movie 'the bad seed'? about the killer little girl with a penchant for piano?

i am not so into the romance of being woken up earlier than necessary to hear ten-year-olds tentatively practicing their scales, gotta say

especially as i didn't get home until about 3 last night. 'bad romance' did a number on my vocal cords

omg i did karaoke last night too

also i just listened to bad romance really loud on my headphones

i HATE that song. ugh.

it's my least favorite of hers.

it makes me cry

i also did 'alejandro'

'bad romance' has the hoover noise = it is my favorite

i had no idea that ear piercings were coded by sexuality! i am pretty sure i'll never get a piercing.

this week (fortnight) (and next week too) i am just stressed and busy and currently in the middle of some fucking inconvenient writer's block

my favorite is 'just dance,' mostly because the video is like a college junior's video project.

hoover is my favorite jingle of all time

hoooooover - nobody

does it like you.

"telephone" and "monster" are my favourite gaga songs, i think

i'm actually looking forward to her next album

I am the last standing fag who doesn't like Gaga

i don't really like her...but alejandro is so similar to 'don't turn around' that i like it because ace of base fucking rule.

So it looks like I will be moving to Philadelphia. like, imminently. 2k in savings already and hopefully I can get a job to cover rent and find somewhere to live

cirque du so gay racer number: 77

xps I hate Gaga, sorry.

yeah me too.

awesome stevie!

Oh wow, I totally missed that. That's great, get the fuck away from your crazy parents.

Stevie, that's excellent -- you needed a healthier situation.

yeah good for you stevie - it'll be so much better.

I mean this was my medium term plan anyway but it's now become like "gtfo rite now"

radical news dude

In other news I am meeting up w/ a dude from Grindr tomorrow, which wouldn't be all that notable except that instead of doing the normal like "let's interact over food/drink first" we are just meeting up @ the bathhouse and getting right down to business. On the one hand, this seems like it could work v well since we don't have to worry about not having anything in common (which we may not; all I know about him is he's "really into sports"), but on the flipside it might be kinda weird if we have to make small talk at some point? Also, I am sort of nervous that we will just meet up and I will totally not be into him and like then what? This is kind of a big commitment!

teddy, that aaron-carl track is dope as hell

it's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so so so missy

i bet she would love it if someone played it for her

there's even a timbaland part!!

yay! i'm glad you like.

it's all about the urkel/suckin a dick purple couplet.

and stevie, that is rad. now when i visit my 'rents we can hang out!!!

yeah, teddy, that's a terrific track.

it is, i hadn't heard it before. do you have an mp3 of it? apparently it was released on a free ep through his website, the link for which is now dead :(

my favourite aaron-carl track is probably still "crucified"

i used to have til those teenagers stole my comp in march. :(

that said, i'm working on getting it, and will let yall know when i do.

my favorite aaron-carl track...i don't think i can name one, but i've really been feeling 'if there is a heaven,' because it gets everything about the deep detroit house vibe down, plus adds some gay radio club vibes.

i'm at work

the thing is i wasn't supposed to be here

but i came in because it felt like the right thing to do. i couldn't fall asleep

hi!

hi! it's 7 30 am

there is something happening with the air conditioning here, at work

it has always been loud we call it "the tundra" but now i swear the office is shaking, like it sounds like we're taking off

i love it, it's so rich and textural, the sound. honestly tho it's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard i mean i have never heard a louder ventillation system i'm worried it might explode.

i have this brunch thing that my good friend is doing which is nice and everything but i just can't i mean, i rly can't, but i'm afraid that if i cancel she will hate me

how long do you work?

i cancelled

o i think i'm going to go home now

yea just came in for a pop in visit

The single-piercing anxiety of teenagers was also in evidence at my school, where people remembered the 'correct/not-gay' ear with 'left is right, and right is WRONG'. I never got my ears pierced BTW (I'm not a jewelry person unless the piece has come from a dead relative).

ugh today, ugh this week.

intended to: return from labour party conference on wed. finish and file 3000 word piece on thu. spend fri and sat having some much-needed relaxation time and also some social stuff i was really looking forward to, before plunging into conference mode again this week.

actually did: writer's block on thu, fri and sat on that stupid piece. had five hours sleep, then the tube fucked me over and made me ONE MINUTE late for my train up to the tory conference. i'm now here, having completely missed the first event i was supposed to cover. travelodge won't let me check in for another hour, i have five hours to kill, but it's pissing down. the piece was completed on the train, thank christ, but it's reeeeeeally shit :(

what's the article about?

running and music. would've been fine but

- commission landed mid-conference season, ie 3 weeks when i'm barely in london and have literally zero minutes of free time. all interviews had to be done via email, which meant i got amazing answers and thoughts but no sense of the conversational flow which usually guides me when i write features
- it's a corporate thing and i didn't really have a guide as to the tone they wanted, which is slightly daunting when you're plunging into 3000 words
- housemate decided to get a cat. i'm allergic to cats. i did say i'd give it a try (bc there are cats i'm fine with) but i kinda feel i was backed into that one. anyway, THIS WEEK OF ALL WEEKS to have that happen.
- some unrelated health issues, non-serious but really annoying, almost certainly symptoms of stress

i really really want to sleep for a week. four days to go! actually now this piece is out of the way i think i'll just enjoy the tory conference and maybe set my sights on some tory boys.

jeez i go for away for a weekend and look at you magpies.

Stevie, I feel for yr family drama, but you're a great kid and I would visit you in Philly.

now waaaaiit, gbx = river wolf? so much goes past me.

So I overate and overdrank for 2-1/2 days in Savannah at my friends' non-wedding. 40 people all staying in the same motel. I did not tour the "Midnight in the Garden" murder house, cuz who gives a shit, but I do recommend visiting here:

http://www.flanneryoconnorhome.org/

Her monogrammed pram is in the first room!

Also I did "Pretty Vacant" at karaoke and did a collapse onto the floor (intentionally) to finish that filthied my pants.

morbs, dude, we've ~met~

well, i don't remember ppl's screen names unless they're local!

also whenev ppl from ILX try to friend me on F'book i usu have no idea who they are...

I skipped ny XXth high-school reunion to go to GA, some honor/drama students showed up i wd've liked to see. oh well.

wtf how did i miss the flannery o'connor home when i was down there!!

gays, i just had the best first date of my life. like, BEAMING right now.

yeay!!!

i am tipsy and being a weirdo. i think i'm gonna go to bed.

ps- jo3, i come visit in the next couple months?

just got home to bmore from weekend in california

everyone I spent time with was either crazy / on Prozac / crying their eyes out at a funeral memorial service / or baked as fuck on pot brownies

it was just that kind of weekend I guess, or else this says something about my social circle(?)

Guys have you ever been with anyone who had scented *down there* or something? Is this a "thing" that I just never knew about?? Perfumed dick is not a good look.

Nope, can't say I have ever experienced the heady delights of cologned cock!

Not delights when odors mix with other odors.

Maybe he had fabric softener in his undies?

also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY T3DDY

Oh no, it was a fairly strong musky citrus thing. Maybe a powder something?

OMG Teddo, happy bday!

happy birthday, ted! Spray some Hugo Boss on your nutsack.

Happy bday, Ted. Hope you enjoy your day. <3

hb dear t3d.

and eat something, you skinny little glamourpuss :)

happy happy t!

and yes come down here! (and i may be 'up there' in wintertime)

thanks friends! you gays rule. dr3w was the first to post wishes on my fbook wall, made me strangely happy.

as alex already knows, my plans today are somewhat awesome and nebulous. stoked!

jo3, i MIGHT just come down to see my friends Nu Sensae play in LA. (they're the one with the hot skinny drummer).

and hey, it's TAPE STORE'S 21st birthday. HAPPY HAPPY.

Wo, all these birthday's happening at once. Mine's Friday. Me and the Chicago ILXors are gonna FAP it up. :D

HB TS!

been thinking that now i'm here i might attempt actually going to live shows again. there's a thing tonight in los feliz with the author of a new book about riot grrrl, with a couple of bands playing as well. (though i'm a bit more interested in seeing the guy who invited me, ahem.)

hbd sweet people

jo3, you shld go to this: http://events.myspace.com/Event/7664883/Nu-Sensae-with-others

i swear, they're the best live punk band in north america right now. and their drummer...well we all know how i feel about the drummer.

congrats TS; now that you're fully adult, be careful.

Hey, I haven't checked in on this thread in a while, but exciting new developments here. After not seeing J for a month or two, he invited to have dinner and spend the night on Saturday. Anyway, he was feeling really frisky and pretty much pounced on me the second I walked through his door. After we did our thing, we went to a big queer party with a cute Asian birthday boy who seemed interested in me as well but I never did succeed in getting to dance with me. Anyway, we went back to J's place and cuddled and slept. Dinner never did get made.

Also, I have taken to wearing a size S lavender fruit of the loom tee that I copped at grocery outlet for $1.50 whenever possible.

Yay to all the above :3

I have seen Eric on TV wearing "indie glasses."

hey gays, this married stud at work -- who I thankfully only see and never interact with -- is driving me mad. T-shirts, big shoulders, nipple bumps, etc.

Ask him out for a drink! As Grace Jones said, scary but fun.

And, Rev, welcome back: I've missed you.

Alfred, I have to run out of the kitchenette when the guy's in there before I topple over.

<3 xp

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COR3Y

so many libras here. it's kind of crazy.

anyway, i skipped out on a date the other day to hang out with m4tt. last night we got beers, saw The Town, then passed out after smooching to an old episode of the Simpsons. hahaha.

this is the guy who i skipped out on:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs298.snc4/41245_10100296613106803_5218365_62788321_5722063_n.jpg

if yall knew his name, you'd vomit.

oh, on the right. whatever.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COREY

if yall knew his name, you'd vomit.
--Honey, I squirted jizz all over the baby (the table is the table)

Richard Anal Warts?

Erm that was not meant to imply that he has anal warts :/

happy birthday, corey! Glad you found a squeeze.

Stevie, his 'name' is Fetish. he is known for his fisting technique o_0. but he's really cute and fun, so i'm not too scared.

also, i just got a call: tomorrow, for 8 hours, i'm selling shirts and stuff at the Out Loud Comedy & Arts Festival at the Castro Theatre.

which means i get to see Lady Bunny, SANDRA FUCKING BERNHARD and loads of other comedians for free, all while getting paid and drinking cocktails.

the handsome tattooed boy at the liquor store with long hair just looked at me

he's never really looked at me like that before

i tried not to fumble my thank you

happy birthday corey

btw ti@rnan checked in, he's like around the world, taking a road trip and having fun, meeting people along the way

I don't wanna curb your enthusiasm, tabes, but I first saw SANDRA FUCKING BERNHARD around '85 and most recently about 3 years ago. She used to be a lot more kickass.

Made out w/ someone in Hudson River Park tonight. He has to work at the hospital at 7am tomorrow.

hey. thanks y'all. :)

and HB Corey and HBB T3d!

Thank you guys. Wish you could be here. <3

Also T14rn4n is supposed to be surfing on my couch within the next days. Excited!

next *few* days, rather.

pics or it will not have happened ;)

happy birthday

I had fun tonight too: totally killer swans show in brooklyn, then some blockbusting adult situations ensued with a red headed stranger

but tomorrow I have to work all day

i just realized i feel totally confident about my body these days. i've never felt like this before.

like....i actually think that people should find me sexy whereas i always used expect people would see me as tall and gangly and bony. i'm kind of amazed that i feel this way given how neurotic i used to be about body issues.

now if i just had any faith in my character i'd be unstoppable.

Stay strong, Rods. :|

c/o Alex in Montreal: horrible doesn't begin to describe it.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!????????????????????

Honestly, when I read shit like this, I get a little more conscious of my surroundings and how I present myself and when.

I get fucking angry and feel like breaking god damn skulls.

also, this: http://www.queerty.com/belgrade-pride-47-police-officers-among-the-injured-as-rioters-firebomb-cars-vandalize-stores-20101010/

I've spent most of the past 24 kicking it with our own Ti4rnan and it has been great. What a fantastic dude!

is he coming down to northern california? i want to FAP.

maybe in december? i think he plans to go there but not til the end of his trip. he's flying out to chicago from here.

haha, he jsut responded to an fbook post. weird itinerary, but cool.

I watched Edge of Seventeen for the first time since 2000...best coming out movie ever?

Hells no. From an ancient review: "I hated the arch motherly instincts of Lea Delaria and the revoltingly tragic denizens of her nightclub. Great use of Evelyn Thomas’ “High Energy,” though." Don't recall the latter but very much remember Delaria's character, one in a loooong line of underwritten female characters in gay male films.

i might go out now (speaking of being out)

like whar? i'm off tomorrow but I went to bed at 6 this morning.

isn't Beautiful Thing the best coming-out movie?

Hello fellow homosexuals. I heard my name was mentioned and I came to investigate. I have missed you guys and I'd like to come back. My MO after an argument is to think that it's over forever and that the other person got the friends in the break-up.

Sheepishly,

Jesse

?

hi! again!

all this talk reminds me that tomorrow is National Coming Out Day. can't wait for the snoopy float in the big parade!

P.S. Beautiful Thing = stinky too. I prefer Get Real although it has similar, though lesser, secondary female character problems.

Can't think of a great coming out film off the top of my head because I don't know the parameters of the subgenre. Would This Special Friendship count?

i remember this being good, though i'm not sure it actually counts as a "coming out" story

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119733/

Another gay suicide, this time in Oklahoma. The reports connect this one with the guy's attendance of a city council meeting re LGBT History Month where the discussion turned "toxic."

All the recent news about these suicides has GOT to be a result of greater media attention, right?

i'd like to think so; gay suicides are not a new thing

all these recent incidents make this speech all the more delightful

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/10/carl-paladino-brainwashed-homosexuality-lifestyle_n_757460.html

charming.

thankfully literally no one takes carl paladino seriously

Donated my FB status today. Gonna make it harder for Grandma to ignore my profile deets.

Hi Jesse!

I donated my status too.

Hells no. From an ancient review: "I hated the arch motherly instincts of Lea Delaria and the revoltingly tragic denizens of her nightclub. Great use of Evelyn Thomas’ “High Energy,” though."

Delaria's the worst thing in it, but the rest – coming out to his girlfriend; getting scowls when dancing to Flock of Seagulls at a high school party – is well-observed.

Get Real is awful in a sit-com way.

Haven't seen Edge of Seventeen, so it could be the best coming out movie. More to the point, it could be the best coming out movie about a high school-aged boy filmed in the late 1990s, since that's the seeming control group here.

Beautiful Thing >>> Get Real

Jesse, hellloooo!!

I have never seen a coming out movie

Except But I'm A Cheerleader <3 <3

I haven't seen Edge of Seventeen either. But as you know, I like In & Out for the jokes.

It would be such a shame if something happened to Carl Paladino.

You mean a penis falling into his ass?

If that'll render him incapable of being guv, sure.

and hello, Jesse, you handsome dawg

it could be the best coming out movie about a high school-aged boy filmed in the late 1990s, since that's the seeming control group here.

also: best coming-out movie about a high school-aged boy filmed in the late 1990 based in the mid 1980's.

I suppose the old Brit film Nighthawks counts, based on the last scene

I'm the world's worst fan (of causes, directors, novelists, etc; I'm too much of a skeptic) but it's significant that I'm thinking of changing my Facebook status today.

What is this facebook thing?

You "donate" your status to the HRC (which organization isn't all they could be....) in honor of coming out day.

I see that today is not only coming out day, but also Canadian Thanksgiving, so that should be nice for them. (Is coming out day US only?)

Also, hi again (Steve(ie) and Morbs).

(and donna)

the HRC? Fuck'em.

hi jesse! welcome back!

I donated my status for the benefit of my HS-aged cousin who, mere weeks after coming out as bisexual, confirmed my suspicions by coming out again as just plain gay last Friday. He's aspies and gets a ton of grief and I thought it important that he get as much support/positivity as possible right now.

(Welcome back, Jesse.)

Yeah, Jesse – get yourself a drink and linger.

It is also Canadian Thanksgiving! Which means I will be celebrating National Coming Out day with significant amounts of stuffing. (I will also be reading Supreme Court cases about Aboriginal land claims - apparently our reading list for law school is ironically topical!)

i'd planned on being all "grrr fuck an HRC" about this, but that's really sweet, eric. and i'd like to knowledge COD just to make sure my family members on FB "get" it.

acknowledge*

oh man, jealous of you gaynadians today. self-affirmation AND stuffing!

happy glory hole! i mean happy canadian thanksgiving

Shouldn't it be INTERnational Coming Out Day?

Hi Elmo, Hi ALS (btw, I FB friend requested you ages ago, but I don't think you've responded....)

ugh. i am still in bed, and should be doing a couple hundred pages of reading. I am distinctly NOT thankful for professors who schedule 15% quizzes the day after Thanksgiving.

\(o_0)/

Oh, and welcome back, Jesse!

Hi Alex!

Jesse Update with respect to the original premise of the Gay Threads: I have gay friends, finally, though it's been off and on. My main gay friend went and got a non-mutual crush on me, decided he couldn't be around me, but then came back after a while. We have been making tours of suburban and South Side gay bars and that has been really awesome. It's nice to get out of Boystown. I *wish* I were attracted to him b/c we make sense in theory, but in reality I just don't feel it.

I finally have gay friends too apart from you and my boyfriend, my friend Kim at work who is a conductor and is big on gay lib and is just an awesome lady in general. If she were to quit I would probably put in my two-weeks'.

I, too, now have gay friends. I'd say "too many" but one shouldn't look a gay horse in the mouth. Some friends and I finally did hard numbers, and ~20% of guys in first year law bat for our team. Plus, I'm living in the centre of Montreal's artsy gay bohemia. My straight roommates are a refreshing escape, at times.

Gay friends haven't been a problem for me lately. It's the gay exes I find difficult to navigate.

I definitely need more bohemian sodomites in my life.

Losing my gay roommate next month. He'll likely be replaced by my straight boyfriend.

I've got far too many of those: they fight for me.

My straight boyfriends are my best wingmen.

Hi Jesse!

um, i empathize with Eric's reasons for donating his fb status, but really, the HRC is a pretty reprehensible organization and i won't touch anything they do without a gas mask on.

also, there is never such a thing as too many gay friends. i have so many. it's awesome.

Friends are awesome.

The best part of looking forward to the weekend is wondering how many dinners and bar visits you can squeeze in, especially now that I'm over thirty and should ration my time and body.

also, i went to see Hunx & His Punx last show for a while last night, and it was pretty good. s3th's looking more cuet than i remember, tbh.

then, i made the mistake of going to HNY at its new location. snobby circuit queens, $4 budweisers, and a whole lot of attitude. fuck that party and fuck that new location.

I had fun trying to scope out gay zombies this weekend. Helpful hint: the boys wearing actual legitimate Cub Scout uniforms are gay. And uncreative.

Now that I've managed to make inroads into the gay friends situation, maybe the elusive LTR is next. Coming up on 10 years of being very single! I hope it happens b/c I would really like to have a dog and to double my wardrobe (similarly proportioned gentlemen encouraged to apply.)

Another helpful hint: pleas to domesticity are the surest-fire route to spooking both yourself and the prospective other.

I am not so clueless as to say such things to the prospective other. Though on a first date I tend to think "is this going anywhere or not?" I just hope that I don't externalize that thought.

gawd, on the first date i'm usually like, 'so, i wonder if we're gonna fuck.'

i find second dates much more nervewracking than first dates

No rules on dates: I've fucked on the first and waited until the third or fourth. Depends on the circumstances.

at this point i might as well become a nun

it's not the sex for me, it's the "do we still have stuff to talk about?" thing