Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

1. Receiving a bill with that fucking www.wheresgeorge.com stamp on it

2. Polite and formal delivery notes from UPS or the like indicating that the driver was doing his job and not delivering the package because a signature was needed and all. (I do not care. LEAVE THE GODDAMN PACKAGE AT THE DOOR, IT WILL NOT SPROUT WINGS AND FLY AWAY.)

3. People taking the elevator up/down one floor, rather than taking the stairs, thus delaying my pilgrimage to the top floor
4. People who get to the 4-way stop first, yet wait for everyone else to get to the stop sign and not being sure if they want to go or yield when in reality THEY SHOULD JUST BE GOING.

I don't know, Ned. Superchunk warned us of the dangers here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-9wJB86djQ

...not the most effective band choice with me, that.

5. A sticker on someone's desk in the office that says "If something can go right, it will".

6. People who try to talk me into getting the free magazine that comes with whatever purchase I just made after I already said "no" once.

7. My CEO using a Gandhi quote, "Be the change you want to see in the world," in all her emails to employees.

8. My boss coming by and saying "how's it going?" and trying to make small talk when he can clearly see that I'm on the phone.

9. People who pull up and park in front of the supermarket in the "no parking lane" to let someone out/pick someone up, and turn their flashers on as if to say "pass me". IT IS YOU THAT NEED TO MOVE, FUCKHOLE!

10. People who say "excuse me" in a rude voice when they are the ones who nearly collided with me.

11. People who say things like "I work in a music store, so I know about music" to validate their opinions....

12. My boss coming by and saying "how's it going?" and trying to make small talk when he can clearly see that I'm on the phone.

13. People who smoke in front of their young children in restaurants.

then again, that isn't so innocuous

14. Passive aggressive LA sidewalk walkers. Like, either say "excuse me" every time you need someone to move, or be a fucking city person and bowl them the fuck over, a la NYC. This expectation that all others will move out of your way, followed by subsequent bent-out-of-shapedness, is SO FUCKING LAME.

15. People who flash their lights at you in the right lane. If you want to go faster GET IN THE LEFT LANE, YOU FUCKTWIG.

16. People who camp out in the left lane. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!

17. People who make left turns on red. THAT'S ILLEGAL.

LEAVE THE GODDAMN PACKAGE AT THE DOOR, IT WILL NOT SPROUT WINGS AND FLY AWAY

have had them stolen tbh. well just one time. and also i lived above hooligans who sold knockoff purses and meth, so um.

also, the people who send the packages are the ones who choose whether signature is needed or not. it's optional, so blame the person who sent the package really...

18. Someone said this already elsewhere on ILX, but sandwich artist - YOU"RE supposed to know what makes a good sandwich, don't ask me, just make it!!!

19. ILX

20. Pulling up to the drive through and hearing nothing but dead silence for 3 minutes, then hearing a voice get annoyed when you say "Hello?" WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, MASTURBATING?

There is an Italian market in my neighborhood where the dude behind the deli counter makes sandwiches totally based on what the best stuff he has in at that time is. You just ask for a sandwich, and he makes you one.

I have never had a bad sandwich there. And I have them a lot.

He's an artist. Those motherfuckers at Subway are sandwich assembly line workers.

21. People who don't have enough/any change for the tollbooth, and actually get out of their car to ask the cars behind them for change. THESE ARE UNMANNED BOOTHS AND THEY GIVE YOU THREE FREEBIES, JUST DRIVE THROUGH YOU COCKFARMER.

20. Pulling up to the drive through and hearing nothing but dead silence for 3 minutes, then hearing a voice get annoyed when you say "Hello?" WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, MASTURBATING?

― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 7:45 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

idk ones like this don't seem that innocuous to me. i.e. i don't think you're being upset at someone who is being pretty directly rude to you is all that irrational.

I guess it's innocuous because in the grand scheme of things, it's not gonna ruin my day...

22. People who can't do simple math in their heads.

xpost ahh ok. i guess i was expecting more like 'lol why does that bother me, at all' as opposed to 'these are petty things that bother me'

it can be that way too. some of my entries were more your first example than second...

23. use of the word "random" outside of anything mathematical. i think it stems from ppl who use it to describe anything slapstick or absurd (a monkey in hockey skates omg so random!!!!) but i now have a Pavlovian response to it in any context.

I posted this on my FB but

24. People humming along to music they haven't heard or humming something completely unrelated while other music is playing.

He's an artist. Those motherfuckers at Subway are sandwich assembly line workers.

25. People who say things like 'I bought a Subway' for lunch. No, you bought a shitty chain-store sandwich. Giving it a brand name does not make it better.

I think I said this elsewhere, but

26. People who have widescreen TVs/monitors, but don't adjust the aspect ration, so everything is squat and fat.

what if they mean they literally bought a subway? d'ja ever think of THAT?

OK, good point. They bring that fucker to work and I'll be impressed. And I'll use it to go home.

I think my speech patterns for the day have been set to ice cr?m over here: "My mom thinks I'm cool" - the lamest boasts you've ever heard

27. People who call their husbands "DH" on the internet.

28. Rocky Horror pre-shows.

Ugh I hate that one (xpost the DH thing)

29. Stubbing my toe/tripping over something
The other day I tripped over the vaccum cleaner and got SO MAD I almost smashed the full jar of pasta sauce I had in my hand against a wall :/ WTF.

Oh man I just burnt myself AND got a splinter in the past half hour and I was so disproportionately Hulked out. It was fucking stupid.

Haha I do that too. Cat gets under my feet? RARRRGH. Kick foot on table? NNRRGHHHH!!^%%^$ Spill sauce on my shirt? FUCK YOU SAUCE I KILL YOU WITH GUNS.

I had a moment of horrible self-recognition once watching Black Books, and Bernard Black turns on the tap and starts yelling 'Come on! COME ON!' at it in the second it takes for the water to start coming out.

30. mediocrity

31. pedestrians walking in the bike lane THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING PED PATH PARALLEL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING BIKE PATH

i mostly think this when i am walking on the ped path

32. ppl who don't use turn signals. this may be a holdover from having my foot run over by someone who failed to use a turn signal.

wait what the hell is DH

if it is "da husband" then i reserve the right to be rationally angry

33. bars that have no free option for sober dudes (doesn't affect me but hey i have sober friends)

irrational largely because i expect bar peeps to give out stuff for free, which makes no sense. but cmon fuckers pony up

34. When I say 'Thank you', don't say 'Uh huh." Just don't. BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING LAZY. USE YOUR GODDAMN WORDS.

35. 20-something Little Miss Sunshine barista at my local Starbucks omg I fucking hate you: unless you are 50+ years old, you cannot call me 'sweetie' or 'sweetheart' or 'hon'. In fact, UNLESS YOU ARE A FUCKING WAITRESS FRESHENING MY COFFEE AT A TRUCKSTOP IN EAST FUCKOFF IOWA, YOU CAN EAT A DICK. JUST SHUT UP AND MAKE MY COFFEE. Please.

36. Friendly, engaging conversation first thing in the morning. SHUT UP SHUT SHUT UP YOU RIDICULOUS FREAK OF NATURE.

37. "Orientated".

if it is "da husband" then i reserve the right to be rationally angry

Its "dear husband" afaik. Theres horrid acronyms for the kids too, tho I forget what they are now.

And it makes me think of those columns in womens trashy mags, like "Mere Male" that are all "lol! hubby put a shoe in the REFRIGERATOR, he is SUCH A DUMMY!"

&*^^&% uuughhh.

38. I really hate that sound in YouTubes when there's no sound but breathing and the camera moving around in someone's hand, all Kkkkllonnkkkuuhhhh

east fuckoff

Bicyclists who run stop signs because THEY ARE INVINCIBLE.

39. I really do get irrationally angry on internet AND irl when anyone does the "well CRYSTAL bands are the new WOLF bands" joke or any of its variants ("I'm starting a band called Black Deer Crystal Wolf Bear, right?").

Most people think it's a cute joke, but I've heard it like nine bazillion times. It's like a warning flag that someone pays a enough attention to music to joke about it, but not enough to actually form a substantive opinion on anything.

the fact that LAFTH guy--a professional comedian!--has a variant of it in the jacket copy of his book pretty much cements the fact that he is a total hack

We were making wolf band jokes, like 4-5 years ago

To be fair, the people who usually do this are 20 year old boys who have a tenuous relationship with the physical world and their frontal lobe.

(xp to myself... or maybe not)

For that matter, WOLVES are no longer a hip or funny reference

40. People who eat noisily at their desk in a cramped shared office space. There's someone who's manages to slurp when eating an apple - how's that possible?

41. people who litter
42. people who don't clean their dogs' poop off the sidewalk

actually these belong on the "disgusting savages" thread.

43. people who say they are "going down to X" when they are actually travelling north or vice-versa

17. People who make left turns on red. THAT'S ILLEGAL.

― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 5:35 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

hey, this is OK in seattle. one-way onto a one-way.

44. people shouting into cell phones
45. people shouting upon exiting bars & clubs
46. people shouting to one another as "conversation" in any environment

47. people who frequently want to tell you how incredible their kids and/or pets are

48. people who have to think things over once they get to the register. you're there, fucking buy something.

that's not innocuous that's actively reprehensible

hey, this is OK in seattle. one-way onto a one-way

It's legal here too if you're going one-way onto a one-way, but in FL people do it everywhere, even 4-way traffic lights. Often to make a U-Turn, but sometimes to actually turn left. buncha dumbfucks here.

49. white people who use hip-hop slang ironically, to be funny. OK WE GET IT, IT'S NOT FUNNY, FUCK OFF.

that's not innocuous that's actively reprehensible

yeah half of these thingsa are stright up dickish, not borderline or innocuous!

^was gonna say

There's someone who's manages to slurp when eating an apple - how's that possible?

You have heard of this thing "apple juice?" I don't want to blow your mind, but it comes from APPLES. And sometimes it comes out when you're EATING THE APPLE. Apple juice dribbling down your face is nagl.

like dudes never proof reading their posts (keyboard issues really beginning to cramp my style)

Assumed "thingsa are stright up dickish" was your Italian/Cockney heritage coming through tbh.

ha!

50. People that list Passion of the Christ as an 'important' film.

Italian/Cockney heritage

Italney? Cocklian?

I'm just imagining a mashup of those two accents

romeford

51. I have a friend who corrects me every time I say "black comedy" as she says the proper term is obviously "dark comedy" since the prior one obviously means stuff like Richard Pryor. OH YEA THEN WHY COME EVERYBODY ELSE USES THAT TERM, FECK OFF!

besides, Richard Pryor would be "Black comedy", not "black comedy"

Ha, my wife refers to African-American comedies as "black comedies". I'm trying to slowly and gently correct her. This weekend we'll be watching Dr. Strangelove, for instance.

52. Hear me out here:

I go to this bus stop every morning. The first people to arrive sit down on the bench under the shelter, then everybody else wraps around the outside of the shelter, with the line forming a bit of a tail once the number of people grows so large that they can't fit around the edge of the bus shelter.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u120/kingkonggodzilla/busstop1.jpg

However, once the bus arrives, the tail group of people break off from the line and form their own line that simply waits there until everybody else has wound their way around the bus shelter and into the bus.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u120/kingkonggodzilla/busstop2.jpg

I guess that the intent is to somehow be efficient and save the extra ten steps or so that it would take to get around the bus shelter, but it drives me nuts, like to the point where I want to yell at them.

God, I'm really glad to have gotten that off my chest.

yr friend is being just ridiculous.

34. When I say 'Thank you', don't say 'Uh huh."

I only hear this in the States and every time I can't quite believe it. I'm saying Thank you here!! Say anything but Uh huh. so weird.

Sry - xps

xxxp Try it Italney/Cocklian style, where everyone tries to cram on board the bus at once without regard for their place in the queue, all the while saying things like "'ere Guvnor! you just elbowed me in the apples and pears! Cock sparra' 'ow's yer diddler macaroni pastrami marscapone?!"

stuff like that irks the hell out of me.

xxxpost - yea I remember when I was a kid, the girl who used to pick us up and drive us home always said "uh huh" after I said thanks and I interpreted it to mean "yep, I did something for you", which came off as rude.

53. People who sit and wait for someone to back out of a parking spot when there are 3,000 other parking spots available in the lot. IS IT THAT IMPORTANT THAT YOU SAVE YOURSELF THREE EXTRA STEPS, GO MATE WITH A KANGAROO YOU NUNRAPING SON OF A DISHTOWEL

34. When I say 'Thank you', don't say 'Uh huh."

I only hear this in the States and every time I can't quite believe it. I'm saying Thank you here!! Say anything but Uh huh. so weird

I only recently realized that I do this. I've been making a concerted effort to say "you're welcome". No idea where I picked it up.

probably from one of the people at the bus stop

You have heard of this thing "apple juice?" I don't want to blow your mind, but it comes from APPLES. And sometimes it comes out when you're EATING THE APPLE.

Doesn't seem to bother me when I eat apples. I thought the juice came from crushing apples.

most of the apple juice I drink doesn't come from real apples.

"you got it" is my go-to when thanked

21. People who don't have enough/any change for the tollbooth, and actually get out of their car to ask the cars behind them for change. THESE ARE UNMANNED BOOTHS AND THEY GIVE YOU THREE FREEBIES, JUST DRIVE THROUGH YOU COCKFARMER.

― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:46 (11 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

They do? I never heard of that.

I often say "no problem", which actually is a response that irks a lot of people too.

I think 'sure' 'no problem' 'cheers' 'yeah!' even 'you got it!' are all fine in place of the ideal 'you're welcome' and pos easier to say than the moronic sounding 'Uh huh', which has only ever come out of my mouth when engrossed with something and answering half-there.

I also worry that if I hear Uh huh around enough I will accidentally start saying it!

They do? I never heard of that.

It's not an officially stated rule, but it's one that our local expressway authority admitted to following on their message board. IE, they waited until 3 violations until they sent you a warning. Most of the locals are aware of it, via word of mouth.

The main reason is that there are many booths that are now completely unmanned, with two lanes: one for people with transponders (ie, prepaid tolls, which I do), and then the Exact Coin lanes. Some of the transponder lanes don't even require stopping, they're just open lanes with little sensors on a tower up above that scan your transponder. So lots of people not native or new to the state get confused and go in this lane by mistake.

In addition, some people go to the unmanned lane with bills needing change, and can't get it because there's nobody there. So they don't penalize you because of these inconveniences (before I had a transponder, the unmanned lane thing really pissed me off).

That's the way uh-huh uh-huh I like it uh-huh uh-huh...

That's the way you're welcome no problem I like it cheers yea you got it

and when i say "you got it" i make a little pistol with my hand and make a "pew pew pew" motion at them, then blow the "smoke" off my finger

a Paul Edward Wagemann motion? what would that look like?

34. When I say 'Thank you', don't say 'Uh huh."

I've started to say "alright" which is just as bad I think, and I don't know why I started or how to stop. I find it hard to say "You're welcome" - maybe because I'm English? I used to say "no problemo" which must have been v. irritating.

When I first came to Britain, 'you're welcome' was a vulgar Americanism.

See we say "cheers" or "no worries" or "yr welcome" and you lot always complain thats cheesy and weird, but it works dammit.

You could rock the white South African thank you response: "Plezha".

a Paul Edward Wagemann motion? what would that look like?

A mime involving an invite to contribute to a blog. (The rest has been advised against)

They do? I never heard of that.

It's not an officially stated rule,....

I see, US rules. I guess it wouldn't work at the Tyne Tunnel then.

"It's my pleasure" is also British.

54. (Waiter recollection) People who go to the bathroom immediately after being sat, meaning the waiter comes to the table to take the drink order, and not all of the people are there, and nobody knows what they wantedto drink, so you have to COME BACK SEPARATELY and take the drink order. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR PEE FOR LIKE 10 SECONDS AND JUST AT LEAST PUT IN YOUR DRINK ORDER OR AT LEAST LEAVE IT WITH SOMEONE AT THE TABLE?

Hey, they may have just gone to wash their hands...

I don't care I'm an underpaid waiter I DEMAND JUSTICE.

--(me circa 2003)

looks like some people spend their whole lives irrationally angry

xp pretty sure you're actually there for their convenience while they pay to eat in the establishment, and that's from someone whose waited tables aplenty amongst other shitty jobs.

I get sorta ragey at bicyclists who either wear headphones in traffic, no helmet in traffic or Ahh-Argle-Bargle headphones without a helmet in traffic.

I haven't waited tables in years and the main reason was cuz of customer attitudes. and crappy long shifts and never knowing when your shift would end.

i suppose in fairness it is the 'innocuous' thread so yeah ok pass.

ppl speaking too loudly on the phone, society needs to invent a way to make this complaint in a way that doesn't make you seem pedantic

55. Not so innocuous, but people who have loud personal phone conversations in public areas. Look I don't want to hear the messy details of your impending divorce, and I'm sure nobody else here does either.

56. Sloppy walkers. I mean in a really mean way. Walking behind people who slop their heels on the ground at every step, anyone whose feet point way in or way out, women who're dressed nicely but walk like elephants or football players or something -- all this infuriates me. Also: people whose wrists are so loose that their hands flop helplessly on the backswing, fingers all splayed out.

57. People who have (loud) conversations even when they're not in the same room. My girlfriend's entire family does this, really annoying.

58. People who stand on those flat walking escalators instead of walking on them, but stand side by side so that you have to struggle to get past them.
59. People who say "makes you think".

first one isn't innocuous

let's get pedanitc up in this

60. People who challenge whether posts in the "innocuous things that make you irrationally angry" thread are innocuous or not.

:)

see now that's innocuous

61. People who look up and go stationary when at railway stations. Because the people behind them aren't bothered about catching that train 50 yards ahead of them that the platform attendants are waving at each other and blowing whistles...

The last three weeks I've had to take a later train from the farmer's market because someone just plumb stops in the middle of the passage to the Central line. The next one's getting winded with a large bag of vegetables 'by accident'.

People standing two abreast on any moving walkway or escalator I KILL U WITH GUNZ.

You go ahead of me then.

the color yellow

gerunds

oligarchies

shoes with lights on them

arhythmic tap dancers

spanks(tm)

62. PEOPLE WHO DON'T NUMBER THEIR LIST OF INNOCUOUS THINGS

the lack of Sojourner Truth Day as a national holiday

capital letters

tpyos

the existential crisis caused in young children by the denial of Snufflupagus's existence

mods that act with unbecoming lack of dignity when threads annoy them

i mean rly

the fact that no one else could see Snufflupagus

see, one person sets the precedent for not following the rules, and everybody else falls in line. THERE'S ALWAYS A RINGLEADER.

other people's jealousy at your overwhelming leadership skills

now we've got fodder for the other thread!

People behind me on the sidewalk who walk at my heels.
People in front of me on the sidewalk who walk too slow.
People who stop at the top of the subway entrance and block your path while they finish their phone call or just peer down and contemplate what to do next.
People who talk on cell phones above a murmur, especially if they are behind me nipping at my heels.
People who try to hand me things on the street.

81. knowing that there is a mosquito somewhere in my house

have fun living in MN

82. The one or two guys I work with who obsessively & exclusively talk about Fantasy Football, in the manner that 10 year old boys talk about dinosaurs. I don't mind general, occasional chatter about FF, as a football fan I kinda enjoy it, but if that's the *only* thing you can talk about then AAAAGGGH OMG OMG STFU

83. the fact that wasps/hornets only exist in order to live out their darwinian purpose of being dicks

these are all very rational things to get angry about

the point of this thread is not to show how other people are dickheads, it's to show the ways in which you are a dickhead

i was talking about wasps/hornets, which are not people

neither are mosquitos

or dollar bills with things stamped on them

84. Ppl on my bus in the morning who don't pull the stop cord for the train station stop b/c they assume the bus is going to stop there anyway.

85. The cheerful guy whose entire job is to hand commuters copies of the Red Eye (free, terrible commuter paper produced by the Chicago Sun Times) b/c if I want this piece of shit publication, I can grab it out of the ubiquitous paper boxes in front of the station. I don't need you to mock bow and sing out "Good morning!" and flourish the paper in my face as I enter the station.

86. People who wear sports jerseys to work. You're a grown up in a professional job. Dress like one.

wish to register protest at #86. proper grownup jobs let you decide to dress yourself

Protest all you want. It will not change that it is an innocuous thing that annoys me.

- when other people arrive like 10 minutes late to work, on the one day that i'm not 15 minutes late to work

"what slackers" i say to myself

"they should take this job more seriously" i think, as i munch a muffin and check my personal email

"do they really think no one notices?"

then i show up at my normal time, 15 minutes late, for the next two months

88. slowmoving massive line to get into a large, multi-stalled women's bathroom....where over HALF the stalls are actually empty.
the reason for the line is that PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING RETARDED THEY STOP DEAD AT THE ENTRANCE AND STARE FOR AN HOUR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHICH STALLS ARE EMPTY. JUST WALK IN YOU FUCKING SHEEP. WALK. IN.

89. People who talk about Glee to say anything other than "it sucks"

people who exist, near me

I'm so with you today, Tracer.

People who beat me to the printer/copier when two of the three machines are out of order, and there are like 40 people all sharing the remaining one.

90. People who misuse apostrophes over and over again, putting them in every plural word. I DEMAND PERFECT GRAMMAR, EVEN ON THE INTERNET.

people who buy things in shops, if they are in front of me in line

the people behind me are cool

retail staff who don't move with 100% videogame-like efficiency

HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO DAWDLE OVER THAT POPPADOM

People who audibly disapprove of me or my wishes, anywhere, any time, in any language.

testify

I wish I were kidding.

91. people getting irrationally angry about other people who walk slowly. i want to walk at whatever pace i feel like thank you very much

Hangers. Just because.

People who disappear off the face of the Earth for a month, completely out of phone/e-mail contact, then suddenly send a group e-mail at 5:20PM scheduling a pair of two hour "catch up" meetings for the following day at 10AM and late afternoon. Thanks for that, it's not like I was DOING ANYTHING oh wait I WAS AND YOU BOLLOCKS'ED UP MY DAY

94. people who quote rules, policies or laws at me rather than just acquiescing to my demands

93. People in restaurants who order using either "Can I get . . ." or "I'm going to have . . . " instead of "May I have . . . " or "May I please have . . . "

94. Motherfuckers who pay for things by putting the money on the counter, rather than handing it to the cashier.

Seriously, 94 has caused more spikes in my blood pressure than anything else ever.

96. People who only go one stop on the bus. They could walk, most of them. Obviously, it'd be mean to chastise the elderly or the infirm for going one stop. Though, it's probably a good idea for the elderly to keep active.

Let me explain: Why, because hangers grab onto clothes when you're standing on tiptoe holding a cup of hot liquids or a cigarette in the other hand, just trying to get a jacket out, and it will require three hands to disentangle the item from every clip and crevice of any hanger within reach. Conversely, when you put a shirt or dress ON the hanger, the hanger will plumb refuse to grip anything, and the item will slither off the tip of the thing as soon as you take your hand away from placing the hanger on the bar. You can watch it in slow motion, as the strap slips, sliiiips...a little more! and then WHOOSH it's crumpled on the floor behind your dry cleaning pile.

Motherfuckers who pay for things by putting the money on the counter, rather than handing it to the cashier.

sometimes i do this and i always feel bad about it but sometimes i have an important phone game to continue playing

it's worse when the shop asst. puts your change on the counter, that's rude.

laurel what about otherwise empty hangers that hide inside the top of already hung clothes, it's like THEY HATE ME

I am actively trying to train myself out of number 93.

I was just about to say that 93 seems over the top to me. I always order with "I'll have..." and don't really see anything wrong with it.

94 is de rigueur in some surprising places, mostly involving people of other cultures and religious faiths, who may not want to touch their customers' hands for various reasons.

97. People who stand in front of a cashier after paying for their goods, and immediately hold their hand out waiting for change, rather than waiting for the cashier to hand them their change before extending their hand. It drives me batshit, and has the same effect as tapping your hand or foot impatiently. Simmer the fuck down, rudeperson.

I would explain why 97 sometimes happens by accident but honestly that's not what this thread is for and it's already humming along so nicely that I hate to soften the blows with justifications.

98. when you tell someone about a problem or worry you are having and their response is something along the lines of "eeeek". thanks for the help!

Sometimes life may feel like it's sucking you up
But it's not, it might be just you sucking

Sometimes life may feel just like you're losing the race
But you're not, you're just letting everyone else win

Sometimes it feels like everyone's being a dick
But they're not, it's just you being a dick to everyone

Some days it seems like nothing works right
But its fine, you're probably just using it wrong

99. Opening goods in the supermarket & eating/drinking them before you've paid for them (and then handing the opened package to the cashier at the checkout). The only exception I will allow is maybe, *maybe* if you have small children/toddlers with you. But if you're a grown person, surely you can wait til you've paid for the damn thing. It's called impulse control.

xxxposts, Laurel the accidental extending of the hand is definitely exempt in this case. It's more directed to the crabby, oblivious, rudey mcrudensteins who live to belittle salespeople.

100. Dust jackets. I feel I should keep them, but I don't really like them. Not that I'm incandescent about it, just mildly urrgh.

That's very sad because most books are ugly.

98. People who complain about every little trivial dumb thing in life because that apparently is their only outlet for releasing their rage.

^101 actually~

93. People in restaurants who order using either "Can I get . . ." or "I'm going to have . . . " instead of "May I have . . . " or "May I please have . . . "

No way, you're GIVING ORDERS not ASKING PERMISSION.If I want permission to get some food I'll ask my MOM.

102. Those long skinny rectangular mass market paperbacks. They're slightly taller than a normal mmpb, and skinnier, and they're just the absolute WORST to read because the page is so short from the spine that your hands are covering the words on the page while you're holding the book trying to read it, and it won't open far enough and AAAAAAGGGGGGGH. They make me angry and I hate them with a passion

Believe me, i'm well aware of my Andy Rooney-esque hangups.

103. Ppl who use their sleeves as barriers when they touch elevator buttons or the door handle to my office or any other surface the public touches. I'm uptight about germs but that is taking it too far.

This thread makes me terrified to meet you IRL vegemitegrrrl. I'd just be constantly on edge trying not to do one of the endless things that piss you off.

as a former waitress, 93 doesn't bother me at all. I did just ask you what you wanted, we're not playing mother-may-i

Once again, the inhabitants of ILE prove they do not love everything. This bugs the hell out of me!!

xxpost Viceroy, I'm really very nice in person. I keep all my rants in check for the most part, unless I'm in the car with my husband and then he gets the full performance. He calls me the female Andy Rooney :)

Oh, but if you really mean to someone who doesn't deserve it, or treat a person badly in front of me, then I get a little scary. I have a tendency to fight for the underdog.

Oh, and Viceroy, remember the key to all of this: I am Australian, so chances are I would never never never tell you. You could be a waitress who pours hot coffee in my lap and I will probably tell her it was my fault for not paying attention.
I will just complain incessantly about you once I am home.

104. People who walk around crowded urban areas and ride the subway with huge backpacks but have absolutely no concept of the room they are taking up, thus cluelessly banging into people and blocking pathways without even a second thought.

^ not innocuous

True, but when I've brought it up before people seemed to think I was making too big of a deal out of it.

I would never say that. I rode the train yesterday with a couple, of which the man kept pressing his sweaty back against the upright pole I was holding onto, right over my hand, and the woman had her arm and shoulder wrapped around the next-nearest pole and was touching most of it with her body so one else could hang on. At rush hour. When I got off the train, I had to excuse myself three times and then say, "Seriously." to get her to move so I could pass. And she was really offended.

Tourists, possibly sports fans. Was there baseball yesterday?

18. Someone said this already elsewhere on ILX, but sandwich artist - YOU"RE supposed to know what makes a good sandwich, don't ask me, just make it!!!

― Faerie Liquide (admrl), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 7:40 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

There is an Italian market in my neighborhood where the dude behind the deli counter makes sandwiches totally based on what the best stuff he has in at that time is. You just ask for a sandwich, and he makes you one.

I have never had a bad sandwich there. And I have them a lot.

He's an artist. Those motherfuckers at Subway are sandwich assembly line workers.

― Sauvignon Blanc Mange (B.L.A.M.), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 7:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you guys seriously get mad at ppl that work at subway?
that's the way the restaurant works, they have to ask you what you want.
they are just doing their job.
wtf.

See thread title, especially: "irrationally"

105. Episodes of unhelpful inaction when someone knows what they should do but does nothing because their ass isn't covered. Or some legalistic criteria hasn't been met. Or both.

Er should read "should" in itals, not in strikethrough!

106. Fake 'Russian' text that is just English with backwards 'R's.

Like that notorious Russian toy store?

I harbour vast irrational anger abt
people who walk slowly in front of me
and people who walk impatiently behind me (may actually be imagining the impatience)
and people who overtake me quickly, like ooh see how fast I can stride, slowcoach
and people who overtake me slowly so they are right alongside me for like a block
and and and really anyone I have to see when I walk anywhere, want to be in my own little bubble at all times and only see squirrels and wild birds instead of people (see irrational happiness thread)

and then I realise I'm doing it and have some more for
106. me, for being so easily made irrationally angry by daily occurrences

Oops, 107.

xp yeah, Toys Ya Us *shakes fist*

And ledge's 106 reminds me:
108. "Greek" text written by loading up Microsoft Symbol font and typing English words, so it no longer either resembles the English or is a meaningful transliteration (thankfully this has pretty much died but it was a thing in the early/mid-90s when doing irredeemably naff things w/word processors and paint packages was new and cyberpunk or something)

109. people who drive well below the faster speed of traffic in the carpool lane, esp when traffic is dense. you're fucking it up for everybody. yes, i understand that you have 2 or 3 people in your car and are thus "entitled" to be there, but unless you're actually trying to overtake slower traffic, you have no good reason to be there. if you wanna drive at the speed of slower traffic, then join a lane that's already moving at your happy speed.

110. in the same spirit, people who drive in the far left lane yet fail to quickly move to the right when someone approaches from behind. if you're doing this on purpose, i hate you. and if you're simply that oblivious, you really shouldn't be in the passing/speeding lane in the first place.

111. people who increase their speed when you try to pass them, as though they really meant to be driving that fast all along, but forgot until you came along and reminded them.

112. people who do not walk to the right.

as far as walking goes, the worst is when there's a person ahead of me walking just slightly slower than my regular walking pace, so I either have to slowly pass them and walk along side them for a while or sprint past them as if I'm in some big hurry when really all I want to do is walk at a comfortable speed

114. People who cannot walk in a straight line but drift all over the pavement, and somehow anticipate which side you're trying to pass them on and cut you off, making you stop and go round them on the other side and look like an idiot.

115. Drivers who lean in close to the windshield, like they're squinting. You're only closer to the windshield; you're not closer to what you actually need to see in any way that would make a difference.

116. The entirety of the "freak-folk"/"new weird America" movement.

117. people who stop in the middle of busy pedestrian through ways to set down their bags to have a chat. sidewalks, airports, malls, museums, wherever.

118. similarly, people who do this with their shopping cart while ogling canned tuna. get the fuck to the side.

^ again, not so innocuous. but make me crazy.

119. people who describe every food they mention as "the most awesome..."

This thread is so hatey on OTHER PEOPLE. I tried to add some inanimate balance with hangers but it's swung back to humanity and it's out of control!!!!!!!!!! Seriously Hell IS other people.

droit de seigneur

Chapstick

elbows

hacky sack

uvulas

Justin Bieber

thumbs

calling tissues "Kleenex"

regional variants for soft drinks that are not "soda" or "pop" (including, ironically, "soda pop")

old Band-Aid(TM) brand bandages

120. other people

referring to the My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult song "(A Girl Doesn't Get Killed By A Make-Believe Lover) 'Cuz It's Hot" as "'Cuz It's Hot"

oh I see Laurel already went there

xp

121. Use of the word "awesome." I realize this battle was lost long ago, but I thought the word was supposed to mean something, well, awe-inspiring. I first heard it used in Star Wars (Luke seeing the Death Star: "It's AWESOME!"). A music professor of mine in college still used it in its pre-80s heaviness, and one day caught himself: "Jimmy Lyons' playing was AWESOME...and when I say 'awesome,' I mean in the way that word was used before people started to use it to refer to pizza."

(I think I told this story somewhere else on ILX...apologies for the repetition)

awesome story!

(choking on my own rage)

122. People who use the word "amazing" interchangably with "very good". NOT EVERY GODDAMN THING IS FUCKING AMAZING.

123. People who quote lyrics out of context to be funny. OH YOU FEEL STUPID AND CONTAGIOUS HUH? HERE, HERE'S A SHOTGUN

louis c.k. has a great bit about standing in line at the post office where the entire line is this seething mass of hatred toward whoever is at the window getting served. and then your time comes. and you're that guy. it happens so fast.

sorry I am one of the hated ones who overuses "awesome" and "amazing". (winces)

Couples at the grocery store who volubly plan their dinner while they're shopping.

125. Hidden broccoli in things that look like they do not have broccoli in them. I hate broccoli enough as it is, but hidden broccoli? SHIT JUST GOT REAL

126. People who fan themselves with a book or a magazine. IT DOESN'T FUCKING PROVIDE YOU ANY BENEFIT AND IT ANNOYS ME.

San Te you are on a roll! (Hi five)

Unles hi fives annoy the shit out of you, then I will happily retract

Hi-fives are always acceptable

*hi five*

As accidentally posted on the Strokes thread:

Some of you must spend 98% of your day walking around in an uncontrollable rage and I feel very sorry for you.

I just assume that people who get angry about pretty much any inconsequential thing just like being angry

made-up statistics

wtf fanning with a magazine totally works can't you fan properly or something no wonder u madd doggie

lol at people who take this list too serious!

It's just fun to vent about ridiculous things. Also typing in all caps IS REALLY FUN YOU GUYS

key words here are "innocuous" and "irrational". Note to onlookers: this is not the "Post your hate manifestos here" thread

would definitely waft myself with ur hate manifestos u disgusting savages

lol: OH YEAH WELL THAT'S JUST GREAT BC YOU'RE IN MINE, YOU WAFTING WAFTER

ppl with short fuses

wafter

People who say 'bless you' when you sneeze. I might be sneezing three times in a row, you gonna do this every time? You want me to say thankyou every time? LET ME SNEEZE IN PEACE.

I rode the train yesterday with a couple, of which the man kept pressing his sweaty back against the upright pole I was holding onto

this is my all-time number one subway pet peeve. like it makes my blood boil when ppl lean against poles on crowded trains, preventing anyone else from hanging onto them

small, wheeled suitcases in busy areas

99. Opening goods in the supermarket & eating/drinking them before you've paid for them (and then handing the opened package to the cashier at the checkout). The only exception I will allow is maybe, *maybe* if you have small children/toddlers with you. But if you're a grown person, surely you can wait til you've paid for the damn thing. It's called impulse control.

^^^this. also i wonder whether the people who do this actually have the money to pay for the items they're consuming. what if they get up to the register and realize they have no cash, and their cards are maxed out, and the store doesn't take checks?

i wanna say "extroverts" are innocuous things that make me irrationally angry but honestly some extroverts really are disgusting savages.

I was momentarily irrationally angry this morning at

127. Too much foam in my latte

Then, thanks to this thread, I caught myself being angry at something innocuous and decided not to sweat it.

ILX: Self improvement - one thread at a time.

when people say "zero" (as in: "this energy drink has zero sugar") instead of "no." zero is a number; you wouldn't say "this energy drink has two sugar").

Small factual errors tend to attract my attention.

E.g. : not angry, more like "tss, typical clueless media people acting all informative but not having a clue what they're talking about" :

National Geographic, series called Megafactories, during the episode on the construction of the Winnebago (yeah, I watch all kinds of shit) :
"(name) is a heat duct specialist. To guide her work, she uses an advanced computer coding and stamping system called Citrix."

Nerd LOLz - documentary makers saw "Citrix" on her screen, so that must be how she controls that tube cutting laser robot thingy, right?
(FYI, Citrix is a desktop virtualisation tool - it only means that what she's doing is running on a server and not on her local computer)

that's VERY poor writing..!

i.e. scriptwriting i.e. research. eek

Petty details, sometimes. (inca/peru documentary on Discovery or something, talking about the flu and other diseases the Spanish brought over in the 16th century) "The chachapoya were decimated by 90%"

Guaranteed to make me go "Wait a minute! Doesn't decimation mean that 10% died?"

BTW: It used to, and technically, that's where it comes from, historically, but it's now used for all kinds of "the death of a large part of a population" so that's not actually wrong, just me being anal.

"decimate" is the new "penultimate."

stifling lols at the citrix thing here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFUlAQZB9Ng

Yeah the Citrix thing made me cack myself, Citrix is a POS.

Pseudo Operating System?

128. People who say "God Bless", how do you know I don't worship the sun. fuck you.

How do you know God doesn't?

I dunno, for God to create something, then immediately worship it right after, I guess that would mean God=Prince.

God could probably bless you even without your consent

I have Citrix, where's MY laser????

"decimate" is the new "penultimate."

― 808s and Hatebeak (get bent)

But wait, penultimate still means penultimate, right? Because the expanded meaning of decimate is becoming standard useage, but I would murder anyone who uses penultimate to mean anything other than second-to-last.

(Also, I think the above may be my favourite username ever.)

I have Citrix too, for GoToMeeting.

People who say 'bless you' when you sneeze. I might be sneezing three times in a row, you gonna do this every time? You want me to say thankyou every time? LET ME SNEEZE IN PEACE.

― ledge, Friday, 1 October 2010 09:19 (5 hours ago) Bookmark

Yes this! Thank god someone agrees with me. I started a thread about this a few years back and most people leapt on me for being a D.S. and about it being good manners to say bless you.

"Bless you" is nice

I've known more than a few people who have used "penultimate" to mean "really really ultimate"

"Bless you" is annoying. I really don't need people commenting on and drawing attention to the fact that I've just tchacked a bunch of snot into my hand. Seriously, fuck off.

wow

A very religious woman i worked with complained to management about someone saying "bless you" after someone sneezed and "aww bless" to something nice or cute, saying it wasn't right to keep saying it?
Stupid woman!

I sneeze all the time, like it is my job, and I've trained my coworkers to hold off on all the blessing until the series is complete. I'd prefer if it didn't happen at all but what are you gonna do?

Co-worker just sneezed and I didn't say "bless you", thanks for alerting me to how angry that makes people.

waiting for someone to post, "i just sneezed and no one wished me blessings or health! how rude!"

xposts complaining about it for religious reasons is kind of ridic tbf, but it is a ridiculous and antiquated custom that people use and think is somehow polite. The simple truth is that we no longer have rat plagues killing people off one by one and it's therefore defunct. Is it polite to go "Phwoar! I hope you don't have bum cancer!" if you hear someone fart?

I hope so, as I do it all the time.

Phwoar! I hope you don't have bum cancer!" if you hear someone fart?

I might have to start saying this :)

I feel cheated if I sneeze and no-one says "Bless you". Bereft even.

Double bagging at the supermarket.

Phwoar!

129. Employees who comment at my purchase at the supermarket by saying things like "you don't cook, do you" when I buy 20 tv dinners, or "I guess you don't feel very perky" when I buy Pepto Bismol (both of which have happened). This is why I hesitate to buy condoms in stores!

citrix suck fyi btw ty

What's wrong with double bagging? Some of us walk several blocks to the grocery store and you definitely don't want bag failure on the trip back.

Spesh with them rubbish Tesco bags.

I put one sliced loaf in and it did split.

Tesco bags are SHIT aren't they? I guess they're made like that on purpose.

Thing about sneezing is I usually do it because of photosensitivity, which means like 4-5 big ass sneezes when I leave a building until my eyes adjust to the sun or whatever. I mean I already feel like a jerk sneezing so much but it makes it worse to get 5 'bless you's in succession.

I habitually say 'bless you'...sorry ILX. (Don't know why, not relig at all). However I draw the line at multiples. You'll get maybe 2 'bless you's maximum, and not if they immediately follow each other. Allergies/sneezing attacks, you're doomed, no amount of blessing can save you.

jeez it's pretty obvious when someone's on a run of sneezes just wait til it's done and bless em once ffs

makin me so irrationally angry up in this

do you have to indicate via a formal statement that it was an all-encompassing bless?

there's a particular hand movement, it's kinda pope-y

pope-y g stinkgarten in fact

Haha awesome, lemme just tweak dog latin's posts to cover co-workers who always ask "Are you OK?" after every ten-second coughing fit resulting from me choking on my coffee, which I do on a weekly basis.

people at bus stops that have been there for 5 + mins, that when the bus actually arrives and enter it, then start to look for money/change or ticket.

People who, when you ask them to please speak up, do so for the next three words, then drop back to their previous inaudible volume.

132. The fact that there is a show on the television named "Thintervention"

ugh yes hate that fucking show name

133. Phrases used like Quadrilogy on product. IT'S TETRAOLOGY FFS

Yeah I hate the word quadrilogy too!! It always makes me think of the Lobster Quadrille from Alice in Wonderland, lol

Are you sure about that? I thought Tetralogy was the study of horrible deformations.

ya know like this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetralogy_of_Fallot

tetralogy = four of something
teratology = study of deformities

the potential for misuse here is kind of great

like some kind of botched diagnosis that ends with the patient being told they have four of something

If they send you to a tetrateratologist, you probably have four deformities.

If they send you to a teratetralogist you're probably writing your 4s all wrong.

lol what a difference an extra "o" makes

Being in a stationary vehicle makes me furious.

134. People who wear backpacks but have no sensory awareness.

^^^^
This is me sometimes. I have been shouted at a few times.

In my defense I actually have a minor condition similar to dyspraxia which makes me less spatially aware than most people.

135. Being unable to prevent my spoon from falling into a large bowl of soup.
Poor utensil management + love of large bowls of soup = irrational rage.

In my defense I actually have a minor condition similar to dyspraxia which makes me less spatially aware than most people.

= you don't get to wear a backpack in public

136. thousands of shiny happy employed folk on their charitably-minded saturday morning heart walk, closing down streets, fucking up the bus schedules

People packing in a coffee shop during the work week. If I take a day off work I want to be able to sit in a non crowded coffee shop.

138. when grocery/ad flyers have differently sized pages (like half height or width for weekend only specials etc) stapled at the outsides so that you can't hold the damn thing to flip the pages without some part of it flapping about against my hands = SEETHING RAGE

now that sentence doesn't even make sense as i've written it. clearly demonstrates the intensity of my irrational anger.

139. People who walk slow as ass through a crosswalk. I DEMAND A SENSE OF URGENCY BECAUSE I AM TIRED OF WAITING FOR YOU

140. This one's really innocuous, I almost feel bad saying it. I have been in the States for 8 years, and yet there are still people I work with, co-workers who I've known for this whole time who still can only, exclusively talk to me about Australia. Like, I'm the "Australian girl", period. On the one hand, it's nice, I like talking about home. But on the other hand, do you really just not want to get to know me at all? Like, you don't give a shit about my actual life, and maybe treat me like I'm like everyone else instead of singling me out with the 'you're not from around here' smalltalk? Like I said, I don't like that this makes me irrationally angry, so sorry if I sound intolerant.

140.i Asking me which country I like better, the US or Australia, and then acting shocked when I say Australia. I'm not a refugee. I was born there. My family's there. What the hell do you think I would say? Makes me crazy.

140.ii When you discover I'm from Australia, please, please, please resist the urge to talk at length to me in your fake Australian accent. A few words or phrases, that's okay, it's kinda funny. But going on, and on, and on....like the phone conversation i got trapped in last week.... this guy would NOT stop, it went on for at least 10 minutes and because I was at work and he was a studio rep I couldn't slam the phone in his ear and had to politely ask him to please stop. He thought it was hilarious, and I haven't wanted to kill someone so strongly in my whole life.

Man, anyone in a car who is mad at a pedestrian for being slow in the presence of their car, that shit is ridic. They have like a max speed of 4 mph, you can't even idle that slow in a car. If you can't handle being derailed 45 seconds by someone crossing the street, you should have left the house earlier.

That's why this thread is titled "innocuous" things that cause us to get "irrationally" angry.

Yeah but as a pedestrian it's a mentality that sometimes causes me to get "almost run over" or "honked at inappropriately" so...I'm a bit bitter.

141. people who drive and all their bullshit complaints about driving including but not limited to: any complaints about the expense incurred through driving, traffic, behaviour of other motorists, cicylists, pedestrians. also anyone who takes interest in cars and thinks any affordable car is in any way interesting or cool: it isn't. sure a gallardo or a phantom is a beautiful piece of design, anyone can see that and, while i'm glad you're aware that you will never own one and thus set your sights lower, a ford focus really isn't worth talking about.

I'm actually very respectful to the peds, I don't honk, I don't almost run them over, I just stew silently to myself when people walk ridiculously slow. :)

Yeah but Abbs, there are those who are obviously being trollish and saunter as slowly as they want when crossing the street (and often texting simultaneously).

but then I'm sure plenty of drivers find me annoying because I refuse to cross in front of a car at a stop sign unless I make direct eye contact with the driver.

That's wise actually

It shows how much of a car driver I'm not that I assumed San Te meant being stuck behind OTHER peds when all crossing the road at the crossing. As in - dude. it says WALK now, stop shambling! Go! The light'll turn red again! GTFO of my way aaargh.

Blinds that you can't just pull up and down because they get caught up in the window catch or something and you have to go right up to the blind and untangle it with your other hand.

^^^ this. Also blinds that have the plastic pole hanging down which allows you to open & close them but when the glue starts to wear off these little bastards fall off our blinds if you so much as look at them sideways and omg it makes me want to throw things hulk-smash stylee

When I do housework and seemingly 20 mins later, housemate comes thru like a tornado and the place is a pigsty again ;_;

FITE

...maybe thats not so innocuous.

145. people who do not jaywalk

146. double-wide strollers

147. crowded bars (crowded anything, actually)

thiiissss. And mothers who all stop and gather on the footpath with their prams to swap stories and GET IN THE WAY grrr.

uh xpost

148. people who are right when i am not, about anything

and yeah, groups gabbing in the middle of the footpath always make me want to kill

149. learning to drive stick shift and failing miserably. i can barely drive an automatic. i hate driving!

Comiserations...learning the stick is def. tough. But you get to that day where you think "aaargh ffs I will never get it" and shazam, you're suddenly doing it & it's cool. It takes time, for sure. Hang in there!!

150. Going the wrong direction - taking the wrong exit on a freeway

I barely ever get road rage but taking a really long path to someone's house because my navigator is out of date or whatever can be quite bothersome

151. Having to wash pots that won't go in the dishwasher. Fuck hand washing a pot srsly stomp stomp stomp grrr crash splash grrr

140. This one's really innocuous, I almost feel bad saying it. I have been in the States for 8 years, and yet there are still people I work with, co-workers who I've known for this whole time who still can only, exclusively talk to me about Australia.

I'm ashamed to say I've done this. I peppered an Australian friend of mine with questions about Midnight Oil. Fortunately, he was a music nerd too, and was happy to oblige, but in retrospect, I felt like kind of a jerk about it.

thiiissss. And mothers who all stop and gather on the footpath with their prams to swap stories and GET IN THE WAY grrr.

Aaah, I get irrationally angry every weekday morning, because there is a school between my flat and my nearest bus stop, and every morning the pavement is a sea of children and parents, who fill the entire pavement and don't let anyone past - I often have to step into the bus/cycle lane and hope I can get back out before traffic reaches me

anyway I know that the logistics of child-herding mean there is no way to get them not to fill the pavement, and that if someone has to step into the road it's a good thing it's me and not a child, but the mothers are usually at least as obstructive, and that is what pisses me off - but, yes, irrationally, and I'm sure I would/will do it too if I had kids

normally I stop being angry when I get past them, but when I miss a bus because I couldn't get past the children fast enough, that is angry time - even though, y'know, even when the pavement is empty in the school holidays, just missing a bus is a thing that happens, no big deal

i have the same thing, really annoying. as you say i don't expect a perfectly disciplined line of kids but there is definitely a thing where parents are incapable of thinking about anyone or anything besides their child.

141. kids in the pub. i know people want a beer and if someone wants to bring their kid into a non family pub then that's okay, to a point, but when a perfectly good pub becomes a family pub on a sunday it really kills me, the sense of a dreary sunday from this is so overpowering it makes me feel like i've got to go to mass then do my homework, not you know, enjoy my weekend, have a beer, be happy.

Acker Bilk - 'stranger on the shore'

152. Having a messy house. Like, some people manage to somehow work a full week and come home everyday to a miraculously neat and tidy home. I'm not one of those people. I do all the washing up, hoover, mop, clean bathroom, dust - it takes half a day between me and my girlfriend to return it to the norm of food-encrusted oven pans, dustball-covered floors and shelves, rings round the bath etc. God forbid we ever have kids or I'll go insane.

152b. We have no dishwasher (not much room for one either) and our sink is tiny with a GINORMOUS and hyper-sensitive tap that fills the empty sink in less than 20 seconds. If you put anything in the sink it splashes out and all over the work surfaces and the floor. I am not looking forward to tidying up right now.

153. People who use the word "cereal" in place of "serious".

Who the hell does that?

crly!

a lot of people around here do that to be 'funny' and 'cute'. it has also made its way into movies/television to some degree.

example "i'm super cereal, guys, we need more low-calorie beer at this party".

Ugh, that's terrible.

154. Internet misspellings cuet and grebt.

155. People telling you your personal preference is 'wrong'. IE, if I say "The Beach Boys are better than The Beatles", you can go RONG because I just discussed their relative quality. But if I say "I LIKE the Beach Boys better than the Beatles", saying "wrong" is INCORRECT because it is a mention of my preference only! Hate when my friends do that.

When you say "The Beach Boys are better than the Beatles", surely it's heavily implied that that's your opinion? And surely it's heavily implied that the 'wrong' is your friend's opinion?

156. anybody who says 'epic fail' out loud

xpost well of course it is implied that it is my opinion. But the opinions as stated have different aims. Making a statement that one group is better than another, while still a statement of opinion, is an objective observation on the relative quality of the two bands.

Me saying "I like Band A better than Band B" is a more passive, personal statement, and makes no attempt to be objective. Essentially, my friend replying "wrong" means that I am lying that I like Band A better than Band B!

157. being around groups of teenagers, particularly teenage boys.

recently i walked into a subway around 3:30pm to get a late lunch and there were about six teenage boys in there, all pumped up from getting out of school. i got my sandwich and BAILED.

158. I get mad every time I see a trailer for Disney's "Tangled" because so many reasons but especially its name. SO many totally innocuous (but also excessively sassy) animated films just make me mad these days.

are you annoyed that they renamed it from "rapunzel" to "tangled," because boys have to be tricked into seeing movies with female protagonists?

they had no problem w/ the naming of 'princess and the frog' which tanked, even though it was great.

are you annoyed that they renamed it from "rapunzel" to "tangled," because boys have to be tricked into seeing movies with female protagonists?

Is this really a policy at Disney? Because a quick look at the titles of Disney animated features doesn't support the theory:

Snow White and The Seven Dwarves
Cinderella
Alice in Wonderland
Lady and the Tramp
Sleeping Beauty
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast
Pocahontas
Mulan
Lilo & Stitch
The Princess and the Frog

So it looks like in almost every Disney movie with a female protagonist, the gender of the protagonists has been made clear in the title - even in the cases where there's no canonical name for the story, or the movie is based on an original script. And hardly any of these movies have tanked.

this thread is about to get awesome

I don't think that changing the name from "Rapunzel" to "Tangled" is a move to impact male theater attendance at all. The opposite, rather! The title "Tangled" sort of reminds me of "Twilight" or "Wicked" - which stick out for me as brief titles that are being marketed to women. These one-word titles could be cross-marketed well with some perfume, no?

Anyways, Rapunzel is way too ethnic of a name (despite being German!).

omg u said women can't understand long names omg

Tangled is, imo, an attempt to age-up the story & suggest some kind of moral compromise/plot complexity that may or may not actually exist. U kno, as in "tangled web" and "knotty problem" -- it just sounds vaguely transgressive & complex. My issue with this, besides it being kinda dumb, is "moral complexity/transgression" being suggested about things that vehemently have neither quality. If people want to slum it with us non-straight & narrows, they should actually get a little dirty -- they might learn something.

That makes me angry.

Trying to enjoy my morning cup of coffee when someone has to burn popcorn in the office microwave and completely ruin it for me.

xps: Okay, just read an article that stated that changing the name to Tangled is indeed an attempt to market to both boys and girls.

I don't see how it would make it appeal to boys, it just makes the whole thing sound like a snarky extended commercial for conditioner or something. She has a lot of HAIR, it gets TANGLED...what is the solution????

I plan on having a good day today so I probably shouldn't start thinking about this.

http://www.justbeautifully.co.uk/images/prod/wahl-what-a-shaver-cordless-rechargeable-hair-trimmer-lrg.jpg

right now, just about anything and anyone !!

The thing that annoys me the most about Tangled is the way the title is written in a font that looks like hair.

Disney restyles 'Rapunzel' to appeal to boys

basically since 'the princess and the frog' had lackluster attendance, disney decided to retool the marketing campaign to focus on the guy who finds rapunzel, rather than rapunzel herself. if you've seen the trailer for the movie, it's focused on the guy dashing around through the countryside and saying "o ho what is in this tower" and then WHAM BAM HAIR EVERYWHERE.

Princess and the Frog:

Budget $105 million
Gross revenue $267,039,315

I don't really see how this constitutes a flop but whatevs.

I mean IIRC Disney's last "boy appeal" snimated feature was Treasure Planet, which was an actual flop.

Budget $140 million
Gross revenue $109,578,115

153. People who use the word "cereal" in place of "serious".

― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Sunday, October 3, 2010 12:25 PM (Yesterday)

YES

Wha?

153. People who use the word "cereal" in place of "serious".

― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Sunday, 3 October 2010 13:25 (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Who the hell does that?

― emil.y, Sunday, 3 October 2010 14:15 (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

crly!

― journey to the end of nyt (nakhchivan), Sunday, 3 October 2010 14:18 (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a lot of people around here do that to be 'funny' and 'cute'. it has also made its way into movies/television to some degree.

example "i'm super cereal, guys, we need more low-calorie beer at this party".

― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Sunday, 3 October 2010 14:20 (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Ugh, that's terrible.

― emil.y, Sunday, 3 October 2010 14:20 (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i remember a south park episode where someone used it probably a dozen times. if it isn't funny the first time, repeating it won't help.

Okay, I'm totally asking my wife to pass me the serious tomorrow morning.

don't see how tangled = moral complexity or whatever. to me it suggests tangled hair, universal life issue, and also romantic complication. it's fine, but hardly the kind of name you'd choose for boy appeal.

158. people who always wanna make the thread an argument about a thing

Seeing anything written about Wavves or Yacht, or seeing their pictures, or hearing them talk. I think they're utter fools.

i don't even know who

159. Static electricity shocks. Hate hate hate. I mean, I like the balloon trick where you make your hair stand on end and stuff like that, but just random shocks, or when your clothes get all staticky and stick to you...RARRR.

I hate them too, especially from escalators because they make you jump back and possibly lose your balance.

I think it's part of why I hate going to Costco so much, i'm always getting zapped off the shopping carts.

I thought that was just me! Costco was painful the last time I was in one.

i thought it was 'serial' for all that it's worth

quavery feeble indie vocalists

160. People who complain about the smell/noises in a public bathroom. THAT'S WHAT IT IS MEANT FOR.

It is sad when a cat sleeping against a radiator looks so damn cute that you pat it and you both get a static shock and the cat looks at you like "what the hell did you ruin my nap for"

flatmates endlessly stacking dishes beside the sink.......PUT THEM AWAY FFS

161. People who see bicyclists in their designated bike lane and still do the overdramatic swerve halfway out of their lane to avoid the nonexistent collision that isn't about to occur. FFS THEY HAVE THEIR OWN LANE YOU IDIOTS, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HIT THEM IF YOU STAY IN YOURS.

plus ya know now you might actually hit the car in the lane next to you!

162. people asking nosy/judgemental questions about innocuous things. eg "oh you've been shopping at that expensive supermarket? very grand" or something. it's my business where i shop, not yours! i realise this can be done in a way that's not annoying but irish people have a knack of mixing the nosy with the judgemental.

163. There's a woman in our office who sends out monthly staff e-mails, reminding us when to pay our state taxes, our property taxes, our federal income taxes. It's like, Thanks Mom, except of all the things my mother ever harassed me about, it wasn't ever about my taxes.

Same woman threatened to call the DMV when she noticed a car in the parking garage with a Vermont plate that had been there for more than 30 days.

http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG

I am the worst possible type of douchebag and I cordially invite you to punch me until I die at http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG man when will it stop smh

http://www.cozykittens.com/Herbie101.jpg

164. The word "veggies." For some reason just hearing it, especially out of the mouths of adults, makes me want to scream. What the hell is wrong with the perfectly good word "vegetables?"

And when I read that word, I hear it being said sarcastically, like by George Carlin or somebody, and I get even more irrationally angry.

hi smoek!!!!!!!

That "Being A Dickhead's Cool" video. I know we've discussed the hipster backlash to death now, but over the last few weeks this has been posted to my FB wall and sent to my email no less than 10-15 times, and it's really not THAT funny in this post-Barley world. Plus, I mean, who's got the time to make a zingy music video taking the piss out of the Shoreditch media crowd, other than said Shoreditchers themselves?

It is sad when a cat sleeping against a radiator looks so damn cute that you pat it and you both get a static shock and the cat looks at you like "what the hell did you ruin my nap for"

― patapon pataphysics (a passing spacecadet), Tuesday, 5 October 2010 18:24 (Yesterday) Bookmark

How about being so allergic to cats in the first place you daren't even pet them for fear of sneezing and spluttering for the rest of the afternoon?

The whole serious/cereal thing is a South Park joke that was taking the mick out of Al Gore.

23. use of the word "random" outside of anything mathematical. i think it stems from ppl who use it to describe anything slapstick or absurd (a monkey in hockey skates omg so random!!!!) but i now have a Pavlovian response to it in any context.

Some (nice but boring) friends of my girlfriend described a recent Groove Armada concert they attended as "the randomest gig I've ever seen" - they didn't mean this in a good way.

i've heard so many people complaining about random that i think that should be added to this list. it strikes me as needless annoyance at an increasingly commonplace substitute for "weird".

what's wrong with it as a 'weird' substitute?

seems like a fairly random petty annoyance tbh

I'm not crazy about the collective term 'randoms' to describe other people.

x-post yeah i agree, i don't see anything wrong with it. it seems like something people criticise to try and distinguish themselves via their despair at the way their generation behaves.

just as you're saying that- it's a straight nabbed line form a dylan moran rant about his teenagers in his latest stand-up

trust a comedian

his whole steez is petty annoyances, but i do like him

That "Being A Dickhead's Cool" video. I know we've discussed the hipster backlash to death now, but over the last few weeks this has been posted to my FB wall and sent to my email no less than 10-15 times, and it's really not THAT funny in this post-Barley world. Plus, I mean, who's got the time to make a zingy music video taking the piss out of the Shoreditch media crowd, other than said Shoreditchers themselves?

This was so awful, I only got 20 seconds in.

and when you try and say this to people they're like "it's JUST A JOKE". worst defence of anything ever. "what i said was JUST A CRITICISM OF A JOKE, don't take it so seriously, come on, lighten up!"

Haha, yeah if you're talking about the dickhead video, I got tagged as being a funhater when I moaned about it.

As for "random" and "weird" as a complaint - this is usually boring people who say this, and it's normally about something that is neither random nor weird, e.g. "OMG, I can't watch Big Brother anymore it's way too random".

How about being so allergic to cats in the first place you daren't even pet them for fear of sneezing and spluttering for the rest of the afternoon?

― village idiot (dog latin), Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Yeah, I know.

I used to have a cat. It died, and I suddenly felt great.

dunno if it's irrational or not, but the lady sitting next to me on the bus using an emery board to shred her fingernails all over the floor made me nigh-on apoplectic

People who use the stalls rather than urinals (which is fine by itself) but then DON'T SHUT THE DOOR. I mean obviously visually there's nothing wrong with it as its the same as someone at a urinal, but half the time I enter the stall thinking it's free and well it's occupied and I couldn't tell cuz YOU LEFT THE DOOR OPEN.

also people in one-seater bathrooms and don't lock the door so I walk in and get to observe someone dropping a load.

just check for feet dude, in both cases there

it's like knocking almost

Re "random": I went on a youth retreat in 1991 and was set up to room with a girl from Colorado. She and all her flaky friends used the word "random" about fifty times a day to describe absolutely anything, and it irritated me THEN. Would not room with.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGcwDpp6hc4

just check for feet dude, in both cases there

how can I check for feet in a one-seater bathroom if there is no stall? you open the door, and walla, there's a toilet.

unless you're suggesting I saw the bottom of the door off, which might seem like a decent idea but will probably lead to many visits to the clink for me.

Next on the list: People who get on the "up" elevator expecting it to be the "down" elevator. GEE IT'S TOO BAD THERE ISN'T A BUNCH OF ARROWS AT THE TOP OF THE ELEVATORS THAT LIGHT UP TO SHOW YOU WHICH WAY IT IS GOING.

walla?

Voila!

What are we at, 167?

167. Qualifying again for the record that this is *innocuous* things that make me *irrationally* angry, I put forward thus: small talk in moments when silence would not be the worst thing in the world. To wit: the annoying local Sbucks girl who I referenced calling me 'sweetheart' way upthread, today just started asking me random questions about my day, my life...I'm not saying I'm averse to that in general. But I'd like her to know that she doesn't need to entertain me or engage me. I'm happy with the making of coffee and exchanging of money for said coffee, and maybe a pleasant hello and goodbye. Too much is made of friendly banter. Somedays it's like drama camp in there and I really am very happy with their service without all of those uberfriendly bells and whistles. It's too fake, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable, mad and sort of annoyed.

But I'm a grump.

Ctrl+F "Annoy" FOUND.

If you were a dude, just sayin'.

164. The word "veggies." For some reason just hearing it, especially out of the mouths of adults, makes me want to scream. What the hell is wrong with the perfectly good word "vegetables?"

― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Tuesday, October 5, 2010 1:54 PM (2 days ago)

Yeah, but if I heard you say "vegetable-burger" it'd probably be more annoying.

stoners who talk very slowly and uncertainly about boring shit ("Ummmmmmmmmm... I thinkkk... I'm goinggg to go brush my teeth now?")

yall some irrational mf-ers

161. People who see bicyclists in their designated bike lane and still do the overdramatic swerve halfway out of their lane to avoid the nonexistent collision that isn't about to occur. FFS THEY HAVE THEIR OWN LANE YOU IDIOTS, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HIT THEM IF YOU STAY IN YOURS.

― it takes a nation of will.i.ams to hold us back (San Te), Tuesday, October 5, 2010 10:34 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark

okay, i do this. but in my defense, i do it not to avoid some imagined collision, but to create a situation in which cyclists feel safe and harm is not likely to occur to anyone if things go wrong. like, if the car next to me swerves into my lane, or i into its, then we're probably just gonna scrape off some paint. the likelihood of real tragedy is low. but if a bike and i happen to rub fenders, it's very likely that the cyclist is gonna suffer serious injury. i assume that cyclists know this, and try to reassure them that i have their safety in mind.

i figure my car is a lethal weapon relative to cyclists and pedestrians, and i understand that things could go terribly wrong at any moment. therefore, when driving, i do what i can to make other people feel (and actually be) safe. that is, i swerve around cyclists for their peace of mind more than for my own.

how can I check for feet in a one-seater bathroom if there is no stall? you open the door, and Chris Walla, there's a toilet.

― it takes a nation of will.i.ams to hold us back (San Te), Wednesday, October 6, 2010 9:48 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

chris walla, i died

walla walla washington

violagina

oops, got my 'i's and 'o's wrong

162. people who sign their e-mails with just their first initial

aw cmon srsly?

do you want me to call you "d" if I ever meet you irl

beats shit outta 'daz' if i'm honest, and yeah 'd' is fine.

163. The theme tune to QI.

162. people who sign their e-mails with just their first initial

:( this is something i do as an affectionate thing to friends!

I do "xok" to friends
kisses, hugs, kate

lol at voilagina!

163. The theme tune to QI.

― Rob Liefeld pose (chap), Thursday, 7 October 2010 10:21 (47 minutes ago)

That's one of the best theme tunes on TV though!

Then again I'm kind of a suckah for terrible cod-reggae.

It's one of those tunes that begs for totally made-up lyrics while you hear it.

"Q-I with Ste-phen Fry/He... is rea...lly smart/Al-an is kinda dumb/And I forget about the other one..."

Haha that works pretty well.

Lol "violagina"

164. "Special edition" CD digipacks that are so tightly glued that they tear the first time you get the CD out to play it

Which one?

Most recently, Underworld's 'Barking', and before that Ben Frost's 'By the Throat'

Ive also had that happen with the packaging of the last several seasons of Simpsons on DVD. Stupid carboardy folded packages that end up smearing packaging glue onto the discs :/

165. Being hounded to get in line at a buffet.

164. "Special edition" CD digipacks that are so tightly glued that they tear the first time you get the CD out to play it

See also: price tags and ad stickers that are so tightly glued to the digipack cover you end up tearing it when you try to take them off.

or that leave that evil sticky glue residue that's still there 10 years later...JB HiFi in Melbourne I'm talking to YOU.

166. Not angry, but irrationally shaking my head: The Johnny Depp gif, the Andy Rooney YouTubes, the freaking madlibs getting passed around... All of these things have been online for the past three or four years. Not trying to be "That's sooooo 2008, you guys," but ILX is above my 60-year-old co-worker who keeps forwarding us the meringue dancing dog video.

Are you talking about the word-replacing gifs, or just people posting general gifs a lot? The word replacements really annoy me, but I don't think it's irrational - they are annoying, fact. I certainly don't mind textual things like the DUMPLINGS! substitution, but that doesn't repeatedly flash at me demanding my attention.

See also: price tags and ad stickers that are so tightly glued to the digipack cover you end up tearing it when you try to take them off.

― Tuomas, Friday, 15 October 2010 20:59 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

or that leave that evil sticky glue residue that's still there 10 years later...JB HiFi in Melbourne I'm talking to YOU.

― That is the stench of tyranny (VegemiteGrrrl), Saturday, 16 October 2010 04:02 (5 hours ago) Bookmark

Yes! YES! They shall know my RAGE!

Sections/tabs of websites that are headed "contact us" but instead of leading to an informative section with phone number, address, email location and opening hours, automatically opens a 'mailto' email in Internet explorer or some shit.

168. Those wee knobbly bits at crossings in city centres (presumably to stop blind people walking in front of the buses). I should not have to endure mild discomfort through thin-soled shoes just to prevent blind people from dying!

(& you'd think they'd hurt the guide dogs)

still, more than ever, and this burning is an eternal flame: PEOPLE WHO DO NOT JAYWALK

the rage

It's been a while, but:

The person who used to forward "inspirational" messages regarding some child that died but before he/she did, created some epiphany regarding the world/god/etc that was moving and touched the heart of the vicar/priest/mother/whoever.

Has admitted to being Irish in order to have sex (darraghmac) wrote this on thread Current Facebook friends status updates on board 7Curtis's 7borad on Jul 23, 2010

next person tries to teach me about JOY IN LIFE gets a tubgirl in return

This is probably the most innocuous thing on the whole thread, and I really don't know why it annoys me: when you're on a bus, and someone rings the bell for the next stop *milliseconds* after it pulls away from the current stop. Just let us believe, just for a moment, that we might move more than 500 yards without stopping AGAIN?

Sections/tabs of websites that are headed "contact us" but instead of leading to an informative section with phone number, address, email location and opening hours, automatically opens a 'mailto' email in Internet explorer or some shit.

Fuck yes. This is the only way anyone remembers they still have Outlook on their home computers, right?

As someone who has spent the past month trying to find the physical addresses of way-too-many college basketball arenas, I second this "innocuous thing".

H8 OUTLOOK

172. Vevo

or that leave that evil sticky glue residue that's still there 10 years later...JB HiFi in Melbourne I'm talking to YOU.

JB Hifi drive me mad with their crappy excess shrinkwrap and stupid stickers grrr.

Do they still use that yellow tape? Argh!!!!

chipmunks...until i shoot them

I'm sure this will be another one that straddles the "innocuous" line for some of us, but after my last two morning commutes - I need to add commuters who sprawl out with their daily newspapers on a packed train.

That's just plain rude. Non-folders are straight-up assholes & deserve our wrath

Yeah I'm with you on that one.

This is probably the most innocuous thing on the whole thread, and I really don't know why it annoys me: when you're on a bus, and someone rings the bell for the next stop *milliseconds* after it pulls away from the current stop. Just let us believe, just for a moment, that we might move more than 500 yards without stopping AGAIN?

I do this, I like to give the driver plenty of warning. And what annoys me is when someone pulls the cord after I have already signaled for a stop. Then they continue to tug on it because they think it's not working. I ALREADY DID IT BRO, RELAX.

people who press the buttons at pedestrian crossings when there are 50 people already there waiting.

Haha, that one cracks me up actually, like we were all sitting there watching this latecomer thinking, "gee, why didn't WE think of THAT!".

Grown women who speak with a fake little girl voice.

Jackson 5's "I'll Be There" has Bern stuck in my head for a couple of days now, and I love the song to death but the subtle wrongness of some of the lyrics is now driving me batshit. They're the only lines stuck in my head now.
"You and I must make a *pack*" - pact! Pact! please say the t at the end, please!
"...she better be good to you / Cause if she *doesn't*, I'll be there"
Isn't! Isn't! GodDAMMIT, isn't!
"look over your shoulders honey!"
Agghhhh Michael you're killing me!

been, not Bern. Ty predictive text

xxxpost

I am guilty of this, but that's because quite often, no-one DID think of pressing the button, I guess assuming someone else did.

Littering. And as a smoker I do this myself, to the extent that I throw cigarette butts onto the sidewalk very occasionally, but with typical "mote in thine eye" nonchalance I'm infuriated by people who can hang out in a public place, crumple something up in their hands or suck the last drops of soda out of a take-out cup, and then just casually drop the remains. Onto a subway track, into the street, right next to you on the sidewalk...it's such a small thing and yet it makes me see red immediately.

maybe they only do it 'very occasionally' though? /just sayin

Ouch.

:)

people who press the buttons at pedestrian crossings when there are 50 people already there waiting.

― cant believe you sb'd me for that (darraghmac), Wednesday, October 20, 2010 9:00 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Haha, that one cracks me up actually, like we were all sitting there watching this latecomer thinking, "gee, why didn't WE think of THAT!".

― Picker of Shelves (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, October 20, 2010 9:01 AM Bookmark

You wouldn't believe how many clueless tourists and sidewalk badasses don't do this. They cross with the stoplight and not the pedestrian box.

I push it so the box says WALK and if I get hit by a car, I can sue them for a million bucks.

I don't know why the two acts seem so different: I do put out buts on the sidewalk if I smoke while walking, which is rare but happens. But if I finish some food or something, I'll carry the damn garbage in my purse all day instead of leaving it anywhere NOT a garbage can. Eh.

I don't believe that pedestrian boxes DO anything.

Also ppl who push the button a million times. It's timed, you idiot. Simmer down

should just mark it 'F5'

I don't believe that pedestrian boxes DO anything.

This too, yeah. I've never seen them actually change the timing of a light.

There's one at a busy intersection on my route that won't change unless you press the button. And when it does, it goes back to flashing the Orange Hand after about two seconds.

I've seen it work for a lighted crosswalk that crossed a very busy street (ie not tied to an intersection, but a standalone pedestrian walkway)

But yeah for intersections it's just timed to go with the light, it never interrupts anything

Having to wait for ages to be served at the corner shop, especially if behind someone buying lottery tickets or kids dithering over which sweets to get, and I'm buying sensible things like onions or beer.

People that order more than one coffee at a time when I am in line behind them.

people with 3 atm cards

My biggest (undiagnosed) panic attacks occur at places like the library or electric company where there are three windows open for business, and instead of having the customers go through one line or take a number, you have to pick an individual window. So you do this quick call on the clerk in the window, the mental facilities of the customers in front of you. And you still get stuck in the wrong line.

This happens a lot at the self-serve kiosks at the grocery store. Since this "pick a line" system works well with shopping carts, it's applied to the four check-out kiosks as well, even though a single line would serve better than four rangy lines wandering all over the cramped area. I hate it, and it's irrational, but it's the one thing that really chews my guts.

People who spend a good minute standing in front of the ATM painstakingly reassembling the contents of their wallet after withdrawing money.

OMG chap, I am with you on that one. Or people who decided to do all their banking via the atm....multiple deposits, etc. etc.

Also old farts who still can't figure out how to use an ATM.

Along those lines are the people that have no clue how to use self-checkout registers. The flip side of that, of course, are those super sensitive self-checkouts that constantly freeze up with those "Unexpected item in baggage area" errors.

For my heart, I still go through the full-service lanes. It's the same price, they bag the groceries and I can spend my time with an unoffending issue of People.

they bag your groceries?

Or people who decided to do all their banking via the atm....multiple deposits, etc. etc.

wait, I do this. I mean this is what ATMs are designed for.

also the pedestrian crossing thing upthread reminded me of people who push on the elevator button a bunch of times, presumably because they think this will make the elevator arrive more quickly

I do it because I hope it will wind somebody up.

it's a stress reliever

Haha, that one cracks me up actually, like we were all sitting there watching this latecomer thinking, "gee, why didn't WE think of THAT!".

― Picker of Shelves (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 20 October 2010 14:01 (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Patron saint of seeing a queue outside a building/shop and goes up to the door and TRIES IT!

the first person to start their own queue on teh other side of the ATM/cashier/whatever

ok, that's not 'innocuous' at all tbf, but kill them kill them all

Never assume that a queue is full of smart people who've tried the door, this is true.

people who check their receipts after each purchase and complain to holy hell if its off by 10 cents. HERES THE FUCKING DIME, NOW BEAT IT.

IQ of a Q is highest IQ divided by no of feet kind of thing

just generally people who don't understand how lines work. If there's multiple ATMs or whatever there should still just be one line and not an individual line for each ATM.

Seriously. And when I'm the only one waiting behind three people, and some other dude pulls up next to me and asks, "So which one are you waiting in line for?", that's when I can hear the blood pump through my ears.

Ah but..

Person : "Oh, which ATM is this the queue for?"
Queue: "This is the FUCK OFF queue."

That's an xpost, funnily enough.

Having to wait for ages to be served at the corner shop, especially if behind someone buying lottery tickets or kids dithering over which sweets to get, and I'm buying sensible things like onions or beer.

― A brownish area with points (chap), Wednesday, October 20, 2010 10:20 AM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This is inocuous, and bothers the living shit out of me too. There's a part of my brain that tells me that I have priority over idiots wasting their money on the lottery, even though I conciously know this is a totally elitist and unfair opinion.

u bros. need to chill maybe go for a walk in the park look at the clouds drink some iced coffee/herbal tea

u will all be dead soon anyway

oh i always get stuck behing the 80 year olds playing their numbers..thinking they are going to win it all before they die. the amount of money they waste is amazing.

noise in teh park when i'm tryna chill, fuck those noisy fucks

LAMP: So which window is this line for?
ME: GO LOOK AT SOME FUCKING CLOUDS, HIPPIE.

"Is there a bus due?"

guess where we are.

took a plane journey with our town's mayor once. he asked the passenger beside us were they going where we were going.

As someone who's gone to Sydney from Arkansas via Minneapolis, I can kinda feel that one.

this was from knock airport to paris beauvais, believe me there was no possibility of wild and exciting detours. i spent some time on the journey explaining to him the differnce between french and irish euros.

My anger at lines is directed at Rite Aid and other retailers who don't clearly demarcate how people are supposed to queue up. So in the instance of Rite Aid, they'll have 4 cash registers or so, usually only staffed by two cashiers. The most fair and efficient way to do this would be to form one line. That way, as one customer leaves, the customer who has been waiting the longest can approach the available cashier.

The way it often ends up however, is that customers form multiple lines waiting for an individual cashier. The problem with this is that the customer who has been waiting longest may end up stuck behind someone who is writing a check or needs a price check while the other line(s) zoom along.

but you got two short lines.

i mean this isn't a clear cut as you guys are making out imo

Sometimes it's even worse when the lines are demarcated. The Walgreens pharmacy has a "drop-off" and a "pick-up" window, but by 5:30 on a Friday, it's all the same thing.

when I'm the only one waiting behind three people, and some other dude pulls up next to me and asks, "So which one are you waiting in line for?"

This has only happened to me once. I said "whichever one is free first", he said "nah it doesn't work like that", WHY NOT, YES IT DOES, FUCK YOU

lines for huge bathrooms at stadiums/concerts drive me bananas.
All the silly bints stand at the entrance and peer in to a huge cavern of bathrooms instead of *walking in* and seeing that omg there are 42 open stalls.

I'm usually a very patient line-waiter even in the most maddening situations but when it comes to the line for the bathroom at Shoreline Ampitheatre, I go in through the exit because i'm yet to walk in and not find 17 empty stalls. The day I walk in through the exit and find the stalls are all full, then I will dutifully resume my place in line. But I refuse to join a line out of sheer stupidity. I know that makes me a bad person but honestly, people are morons.

years ago at a sunny day real estate show in boston the line was outrageous for the bathroom. luckily i was sandwiched between a wall and a garbage can, so i unzipped and pissed right there.

Again, not innocuous to me, but it may be to the people that do this, but people that show up two minutes before a band takes the stage, shove their way to the front of the crowd, then spent the entirety of the show pushing their way back and forth to the bar for a constant stream of beer.

"spend"

Oh I hate that! Or people who shove their way to the front only to spend the entire concert talking amongst themselves or being drunk and falling on me

I remember some girl pushing up to the front of the stage, pointing at Paul Westerberg who was six inches away and asking me "So who's that?"

UGH

Totally jealous of those guys. I couldn't be arsed with all the pushing and dirty looks from Pickers of Shelves so I just stand near the back for easy bar access.

xxxp

People who double click on hyperlinks. I tell them they are losing several milliseconds of their life every time they do this. They don't care.

When people tag a bunch of people in a Facebook picture who aren't really in the picture.

I'm not talking about the lol gags where dogs playing poker are tagged with friends' names. It's people taking a picture of a baby and tagging it with everyone in the world who could remotely possibly be related to that baby. So I'm cruising Facebook and see that oh, hey, there's a new pic of my weird co-worker, click on it and

it's a baby.

^^^^ YES. My sister did this this past weekend with like 50 of my nephew's homecoming pictures. She tagged everyone in the family and all her friends and all his friends. So I kept getting these notifications on my iPhone, "So-and-so who you've never heard of and is 24 fucking years old has commented on a picture of you." THANKS, SIS.

s/24/14

Jesus Christ, starting your own queue should be illegal. Back in the UK, my local Sainsburys wasn't laid out to deal with big queues so people often queued all the way up the product aisles, leaving a gap between the queue and the tills so people could get around the shop. One time I was paying at the till and this fucking woman just came and stood next to the till. She might not have seen the queue of about 20 ppl glowering at her down the aisle, so I said "Sorry, that's the queue there" (didn't affect me, I was paying). She actually said "no it isn't". I said "I'm pretty sure it is" and shrugged helplessly at the queue. worst thing is when the cashier doesn't give a flying fuck and just serves whoever turns up. I actually saw that woman around my workplace and started doing bitchy things like not holding the lift door if I saw her coming, haha.

people who hold the elevator door for me even though I'm still pretty far away so I have to hurry to get to the elevator so they don't wait too long

disgusting savage thread entry ^

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg5MJyEHKGo

Not the real Village People OTM

I see that happen all the time at my local supermarket and it infuriates me to no end, particularly when the cashiers can't be bothered to care. There has been times, during super busy days, that I've been tempted to barge to the front myself. But then I remember that I enjoy being polite to others and have actual manners.

good call on the limmy

"Extra cold" beer. "Extra cold" beer makes me irrationally fucking livid.

^^ isnt this just a simpsons joke

the similar "ice cold" doesn't make me irrationally angry but any beer that's supposed to be consumed like that is literal piss.

cheap-ass lying new-fangled toasters that don't toast bread the first time around and you have to re-toast again on the same setting. 9 settings to toast everything from a bagel to toaster pastries and defrost settings and cancel buttons and it can't do the thing it's named after? CAN WE NOT MAKE ANYTHING WORTH A SHIT? A TOASTER? REALLY? CMON.

sorry. I really love my toast, man.

I think I bitched about this on the disgusting savages thread, but since there is queue rage here:
people whose idea of joining a queue is standing alongside the person at the back and creeping a bit further ahead of them every time it moves.

This especially bugs me because I am a Johnny No-Mates who is often alone in queues where most people are in groups, e.g. for flights or music events, so it isn't as obvious to anyone else as it would be for an orderly single-file queue. You can probably get pretty far this way, too, if each person first notices you when you're beside and a bit behind them, then you're beside and ahead of them but they think "ah well, it's only one space, probably an accident, no need to say anything", then you're too far away for them to say anything.

The bewildering tenacity of this combined beardy nazi youth meets jaunty deckhand via Haircut 100 member look among certain young London menfolks.

people whose idea of joining a queue is standing alongside the person at the back and creeping a bit further ahead of them every time it moves.

not innocuous at all imo

People who double click on hyperlinks. I tell them they are losing several milliseconds of their life every time they do this. They don't care.

― peter in montreal, Wednesday, 20 October 2010 16:41 (1 week ago)

I've witnessed IT trainers doing this.

coworker sent out an e-mail blast this morning to just let everybody know she had seen our Ass't Secretary (basically the junior-est appointed official we work under) on television and that "he did well."

I'm getting angry just posting about it here and this was like 12 hours ago! YOU ARE TOTALLY USELESS WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND EVERYONE BY E-MAILING US TO TELL US YOU WATCH TELEVISION

?

welp

When ppl post links on ilx that I've already seen at least 2 days previously.

Amazon reviews. I want to punch 95% of reviewers in the face.

i hate those tv commercials for movies where they insert nightvision shots of the audience reacting wildly (usually they do this for shitty horror flicks.)

giant logs of dog shit in the front of my office.

Giant logs of dogshit anywhere imo. Disgusting animals.

My wife went in to work the other day to find huge piles of human turds by the photocopier

whoa waht

also trayce i will try to teach henry never to poop again but i am not optimistic

haha yeah i'd say that's more on the owners than the doggs

Haa, I know, I mean I have a cat and cats poop in boxes inside houses, so I cant talk. I dunno, it all grosses me out.

Ugh my inlaws have a Mastiff, a German Shepherd and a Great Pyrenees-cross...backyard pooperscoopering is something else.
You can fill a 5 gallon bucket without even trying.

u_u

They have a massive backyard though. But still. Giant, walking poop machines.

http://www.theconcentrium.com/mike/simpsons/Silo/01.jpg

God, I'd completely forgotten about the movie, totally blanked from my mind.

hahah "Harry Plopper"

failure of a driver (of a car in which I am riding) to adjust the wiper rate to an appropriate frequency.

cosine. have a little self-respect.

thirded. truly maddening!

What pisses me off is fluctuating levels of participation that require me to constantly adjust the wiper rate.

xxpst my friend worked for a large investment company and they had a serial shitter who would randomly take dumps on peoples desk. I'd say he was disgruntled.

haha sometimes i even forget the wipers are on long after they are needed, drives my wife crazy.

^^^disgusting savage

i mean who the fuck does something like that?

that's seriously effed up.

i forget! self-respect isnt even an option

sometimes i'll have them off/going too slow while the water is piling up too, she wonders how i can see. i guess i can somehow, we're alive don't ask me

lol I meant the dude pooping on people's desks that Chris said about...though forgetting to turn off your wipers IS pretty effed up :)

just went outside to smoke and there is a giant fresh pile of DISGUSTING DOG SHIT. Im going to hang a sign out there. PLEASE PICK UP YOUR GIANT DOG TURDS! I can fucking smell it in my office.

fucking irresponsible owners.

i keep the wipers on intermittent even in terrible storms and i forget to ever turn it off

Sometimes you turn the wipers on and your visibility decreases, depending on how dirty your windshield is.

I can see through the drops so no problem.

rain x

It's raining too hard when I need it and when it's dry enough to put on, I don't need it anymore.

yall need to smoke weed

I got this one ^

Lock thread

Those fucking 'Wishing Well' cards that come with wedding invitations, that say, in bad poetry, 'We've been shacked up for years so we have all the home stuff we need, but now we're getting married, give us lots of cash'. Fuck you!

I've never seen one of those cards. How dickish!

Here's some samples to induce rage: http://www.bridesofaustralia.com/Wishing_Well_Wording_Poem.html