Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

What, you thought I was joking?

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/paramount/transformersdarkofthemoon/

http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc259/ericrider/WileyWiggins.jpg

Robot alien has a moustache

Turn Off The Dark Of The Moon

Is this a musical?

Reminds me of that old Lou Reed song, "Walk On The Wild"

or maybe I'm thinking of the Rolling Stones' "Time Is On My"

are you sure you're not thinking of "Sympathy For The"?

starring Ken Jeong as The Moon

Still not as bad as that Killers song

that trailer...didn't they imply in the earlier movies that the transformers have been around since cavemen and shit? who gives a fuck if Buzz Aldrin found one of their spaceboats

a) Mergatroid or whoever that last robot's face is looks like robot Christopher Plummer

b) does this mean no Shia LaBouef and Tits McGee?

c) really hate them fucking with my moon landing. Fuck up all the cities you want, but the moon landing? UGH

i think tits was already told gtfo.

never understood why all the deceptacons look exactly the same.

I never understood why giant indestructible robots felt the need to turn into cars.

but in the cartoon they did not all look like big silver angry turds. they had personalities and expressions.

Yeah--all the shit hanging off their faces and such in these useless movies, who knows what the fuck they're doing or saying or which character is which

I was really hoping Truckasaurus would make an appearance in this 3rd movie.

I pity my poor bandmate slaving away on this

Shia is in the movie

any other questions

Where's Galvatron? Where's Ultra Magnus?

excited for this.

Where's Galvatron? Where's Ultra Magnus?

should be on Unicron eating the Earth level by now so f this

Ultra Mingus?!????!!

wouldnt have expected alfred to start reeling off names of Transformers

Optimus Prima

wouldnt have expected alfred to start reeling off names of Transformers

I own every comic book and the cartoon series. They were my favorite toys EVAH.

http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2010/10/SCANNERS-GIF-01.gif

I don't read Henry James in the shower every day.

can't imagine this being worse than the second transformers movie, but there are now going to three dimensions of suck

Awesome:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzNsOGt3bHk

can't imagine this being worse than the second transformers movie, but there are now going to three dimensions of suck

the 3d angle had me hopeful, but this trailer is disturbingly plotty and dull - wanted more of a Bad Boys II MORE MORE MORE vibe then some kind of Saw-esque "make sure you remember everyone's name before seeing this" shit

like, seriously, do people who sat through Fallen see that decepticon at the end and go "oh shit, it's SUPER MEGATRON" or whatever? Are they supposed to? I saw the first one drunk and then sat through Fallen up to the Fox leg-humping scene in a dollar theater, and all I remember is that one guy spoke in song samples or something.

I apologize if I sound like I'm defending ignorance as more valid than expertise

think i have mentioned this before but the first one is the only film i've ever been so offended by that i just got up and walked out halfway through (and i managed to sit through irreversible)

only regret is that i didnt clasp my hands to my head and scream "SPAAARE ME THIS MOCKERY OF JUSTICE!!" right before i left :/

had alfred down as more of a perceptor guy tbh

On the playground I was always Galvatron: bigger fusion cannon.

Hey, you know what could be worse than this? NOTHING.

Next year we have Transformers 3, but also Paul Blart in a zoo, a freakin' Planet of the Apes sequel to a remake, another god damn Pirates of the Caribbean, a trio of origin story superhero films and another Katherine Heigl/Lionsgate action-comedy. Even Pixar is slumming it with Cars 2. 2011, may I admit defeat early?

Werner Herzog in 3D, tho

paul blart in a zoo?!?! NICE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAhQA5gT62w&feature=player_embedded

In a candid interview, Reese Witherspoon — who stars opposite Paul Rudd and Owen Wilson in the upcoming romantic comedy How Do You Know — explains that her break from acting wasn’t anything she planned. “I just didn’t read anything I liked,” she says. “There are a lot of really, really, really big movies about robots and things — and there’s not a part for a 34-year-old woman in a robot movie.”

that all changes when you get to Frances McDormand's age, apparently

“I just didn’t read anything I liked,” she says. “There are a lot of really, really, really big movies about robots and things — and there’s not a part for a 34-year-old woman in a robot movie.”

UH:

Arcee is pink, and carries a big gun.

http://www.leggetter.co.uk/wp-content/gallery/transformers/arcee-dreamwave.jpg

Yeah, and didn't Witherspoon do a voice in Monsters Vs. Aliens? Methinks she dost protest too much.

that all changes when you get to Frances McDormand's age, apparently

― da croupier, Friday, December 10, 2010 9:40 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

there are more parts for 34-year-old women when you're frances mcdormand's age?

Frances McDormand is in Transformers 3 btw

oic

does she play a megatron

Marissa Faireborn (occasionally misspelled "Fairborne") is a fictional character from the Transformers series. A human female, she holds the rank of captain in the Earth Defense Command, a military organization helping the Autobots fight against the evil Decepticons. In some interpretations, she is depicted as an unlikely love interest for Autobots such as Jazz (G.I. Joe/Transformers), and, more prolificly, Optimus Prime (Kiss Players).

prolificly

they didn't want to be so gauche as to outright call her a whore

Marissa had a very brief tumultuous fling with smuggler Dirk Manus, as the smuggler both used her to further his own deals with the Quintessons, and aided her against them. It is apparent that both Marissa and Manus cared about each other to some degree, but although Manus avoided arrest, Marissa did manage to switch his ill-gotten gains with counterfeit "mimic dust", which made even Manus laugh; the straight-and-narrow law enforcement officer had conned a conner.

ha ha ha!! well played, marissa.

I believe the correct term is AutoSlut

xp

In the "Kiss Players♥" story line Marissa (メリッサ/Romanized as Melissa) is a young American woman from New York, where she met and became friends with Shao-Shao Li. As a child, she resented her military father, and when she was once rescued by Optimus Prime, she quickly came to view the Autobot leader as both a father figure and more. Ten years later, she joined a (possibly all-female) commando resistance movement and attempted to steal Prime's corpse from the Earth Defense Command. When the rest of her strike team was taken by surprise and slaughtered, Marissa elected herself as the backup plan. She quickly sliced the clothes off the Kiss Players who stood in her way, but was briefly incapacitated when struck from behind by a Kremzeek bullet fired by a nearby Autrooper. Hurling her knife through the air, she cut open Prime's trailer and discovered his body...only to see the Autrooper summarily eject its Kiss Player partner and begin to fuse with the Autobot's corpse. Marissa kissed Prime, fusing with him and triggering a transformation that restored him to life and upgraded his body into its Dodge SRT-10 form. Now the two travel together, battling Legion agents and eluding both the E.D.C. and Hot Rod, who believes to be an impostor.

Marissa wears various skull-themed accessories. As they have a pattern of renaming one another's possessions, Optimus Prime has dubbed the design on her shirt "The Three Skull Brothers". She has been known to carry several knives, at least one of which is sharp enough to slice through reinforced metal when hurled through the air.

Marissa considers Optimus Prime to be her boyfriend, and merges with him to share her knife-wielding skills by kissing him. Marissa is also a professional surfer, this comes in handy as her surfboard doubles as a knife.

waht

wtf

She quickly sliced the clothes off the Kiss Players who stood in her way

how is this in any way shape or form part of an effective rescue plan

naked robots ashamed of their robogenitals

why was KISS even there in the first place

to play!

or rather, to be played

marissa style!!

i hope all these storylines end up in dark of the moon

i forget if this was mentioned here, but apparently the film will have no "dorky humor" so they'll have plenty of space to fill with weird-ass plot shit

finally, someone to take this stuff seriously

from collider.com

Since a lot of you won’t have the time to read everything Bay said to us, here’s a few highlights:

* After talking to Buzz Aldrin (who is involved in the movie), he thinks they really went to the Moon in the 60’s
* The teaser trailer has no final effects footage. He wouldn’t even call any shot close to 80% done
* He says you’ve got to massage every 3D shot
* They’re ahead in the editing right now because he’s putting a lot of pressure on himself to do pristine 3D
* Says “if you want to do proper 3D it’s a $30 million price tag.” Also “if you want to do dual eye-rendered robots, you got another 30% charge, because you got two eyes now, two different visual effects that have got to be blended. There’s more work on the visual effects shots.”
* Did 5 months of research trying to decide between post conversion and shooting in 3D. Tested everything.
* Says they will have shot 70% or so in 3D and they’ll post convert the rest
* He has 3 full time editors working on the film due to how much has to get done in such a short period of time
* Spends an hour and a half everyday talking to ILM via video conferencing to talk about the effects. Goes up there all the time to talk individually with the animators. Says 25% of the CG work is being done at Digital Domain and the rest at ILM
* Regarding what they shot in 2D, says “we shot most of my close-ups with faces with anamorphic film, cause that stuff’s easier to convert and it’s just more beautiful than the digital.”

WHINEY UNMASKED

“We tried to learn from the second movie. On the second movie we got burned. We had a writers strike, we had to agree on a story in three weeks, and then we knew they were going on strike. It was a fucked scenario all the way around, it wasn’t fair to the writer, it wasn’t fair to me, it wasn’t fair to anybody. It was still an entertaining movie, but I think we failed on certain aspects. What we did with this movie is I think we have a much better script, and we got back to basics. I think there’s some really cool action on this movie, there’s some very cool conspiracy, there’s great robot stuff in this that people were missing in the second one, you’ve got great robot conflict. So I’m excited about this movie. It’s more serious. I got rid of the dorky comedy, I mean we’ve got two little characters, that’s it, but the dorkiness is not there. Dork-free Transformers. It’s much more serious. It’s still entertaining, it’s big looking.”

* Regarding what they shot in 2D, says “we shot most of my close-ups with faces with anamorphic film, cause that stuff’s easier to convert and it’s just more beautiful than the digital.”

michael bay, purist

always said these movies needed some very cool conspiracy, some great robot conflict

it's big looking

No Transformer testes?

think i have mentioned this before but the first one is the only film i've ever been so offended by that i just got up and walked out halfway through (and i managed to sit through irreversible)

only regret is that i didnt clasp my hands to my head and scream "SPAAARE ME THIS MOCKERY OF JUSTICE!!" right before i left :/

― r|t|c, Friday, December 10, 2010 7:05 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark

you really need to see transformers 2... its a quantum leap in terms of offensiveness

* Spends an hour and a half everyday talking to ILM via video conferencing to talk about the effects. Goes up there all the time to talk individually with the animators. Says 25% of the CG work is being done at Digital Domain and the rest at ILM

totally missed this thread wtf??

"Dork-free Transformers."

you really need to see transformers 2... its a quantum leap in terms of offensiveness

REAL TALK

the first one was dumb but still enjoyable as a mildly nonsensical summer popcorn flick; the second one was basically "why don't we take everything from the first movie that didn't really work and build a movie around it?"

Bay: I think the Ferrari is interesting. I call him the Dreadbox. I don’t know what the toys are going to be called; I have my own name for these things. They’re pretty cool; they’re Decepticons. We have a new character, an Autobot, who can invent shit and fix stuff.

I call him Shitfixer

i will not be seeing this movie

* Spends an hour and a half everyday talking to ILM via video conferencing to talk about the effects. Goes up there all the time to talk individually with the animators. Says 25% of the CG work is being done at Digital Domain and the rest at ILM

totally missed this thread wtf??

what's wtf about this?

ITT Shakey misses acronym jokes made by both s1ocki and me

oh. right.

bay up in ur studio, pullin ur tentpoles

I was energized for the film. I was gonna do my small movie I keep talking about, and the studio just said—the true story is, they took me to Vegas, they wanted to celebrate it breaking $400 million domestic, they gave me a martini, they gave me another one, I don’t really drink two martinis, they go “We’re here to talk to you Mike, we’re fucked if you don’t do Transformers 3 right now” (laughs). The studio guy laid it out, I’m friends with him, he says, “We need a tentpole.” And it’s hard to pull a tentpole for a studio when you’ve got a window of two years or whatever, cause they’re at a point where if they don’t pull it by September, I think we were in August, if they don’t start pullin’ by September or October, it’s hard to get it together for that following year. These guys are under tremendous pressure, so I’m like “Ugh (pause) It’s gonna cost you but yeah” (laughs). Because it’s literally like workin’ 5 solid years, or 6 years. And our economy was so bad, and it’s still so bad. The nice thing about it is that automatically you give 5,000 people that are making toys for that movie job, you give 2,500 people for this movie that are doin’ this, you just give jobs so that’s what’s good about it.

that i missed the thread on I Love Music where we talk every day to michael bay

xxxp

Bay: I think the Ferrari is interesting. I call him the Dreadbox. I don’t know what the toys are going to be called; I have my own name for these things. They’re pretty cool; they’re Decepticons. We have a new character, an Autobot, who can invent shit and fix stuff.

― da croupier, Friday, December 10, 2010 3:52 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I call him Shitfixer

― da croupier, Friday, December 10, 2010 3:52 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

lol

i feel like this thread is getting pretty great, KEEP IT UP DUDES

They should push this "the economy is bad and a michael bay movie creates 7,500 jobs?" angle further

didn't mean to put a question mark in there, i don't doubt bay's math

what would michael bay's small movie be, bad boys 3?

exploding porpoises

a small looking movie

little things, hitting each other

diorama

battle beasts

can someone break down this title in grammatical terms

"Listening to too much Pink Floyd & Waterboys" is about as far as I got

Just how big is a big looking movie anyway?

Well, if the night can be illuminated by the light of the moon, just think what the dark of the moon can do. Wait, actually, don't think. In fact, that would be a better title. "Transformers 3: Don't Think."

iirc 'dark of the moon' refers to when the moon isnt visible in the night sky, like during a new moon

or when a transformer is blocking it

With their balls

After talking to Buzz Aldrin (who is involved in the movie), he thinks they really went to the Moon in the 60’s

So was Bay a moon landing conspiracy theorist prior to this?

i can't imagine bay having actual beliefs about anything

But what you have to do is hire a lot of 3D experts. Like Cory over here, he’s a 3D expert here. Every shot that you shoot in 3D, it’s not perfectly, perfectly, perfectly aligned, it’s just, as Cory says, it’s from either the stress of the crane bringing the two cameras, because it’s a big metal rig and when you look at it, it needs a lot more tweaking, but it’s good enough. And then what we’re able to do is, you’ve got to massage every 3D shot. Give an example, Cory…

Cory (Bay’s 3D guy): We’ll go in when you shoot it, and we get the plates back and there’ll be a slight vertical adjustment that’ll need to happen, so we’ll just align it vertically so highlights in the eyes sync up. So that when you’re looking at one of the actors’ eyes, it’s comfortable and feels natural. Or we’ll do just a subtle rotation. It’s simple tweaks like that, just to massage the images so that the alignment is most comfortable for the viewer.

...

(Bay shows us a montage of clips from the entire film)

Bay: It just shows you a little taste. You see how the 3D can vibrate a little, like the feet, that’s got to be fixed and tweaked and massaged and all that stuff, but…

Split-second edits + misaligned 3D, wow this is gonna be headache city!

robot scrotums: they fly @ u face!

Will Ferrari have an Italian accent?

Bay: Yes. And Ferrari will have to approve the voice. They just want it to be not cheesy Italian. They want it to be something that fits the car.

"Thatsa a spicya meataballa"

'atsa no good, boss!

S'arright!

iirc 'dark of the moon' refers to when the moon isnt visible in the night sky, like during a new moon

― Princess TamTam, Saturday, 11 December 2010 18:24 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

or when a transformer is blocking it

― manic pixie dream police (s1ocki), Saturday, 11 December 2010 18:26 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

With their balls

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 11 December 2010 18:28 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahaha

No Transformer testes?

he only said they'd be "dork-free transformers". It's his nod to the green crowd; no meat, two veg.

hope ferrari has a sbarro decal

They should make this movie in actual 3-D. Like, real giant robots. On Broadway. With songs. By, say, Coldplay. Or maybe Nickelback.

and Europe.

So is eventually everyone I liked in a Coen bros movie going to be sucked into this whirlpool of sewage?

Idk who is even in it aside from Shouty Labouef...who's the Coen alum?

Frances McDormand and John Turturro

oh. bummer

Man transformers was my #2 favorite cartoon (closely behind the REAL ghostbusters) as a child and this series has shat upon my memories more than any 'hip' 'relevant' reboot ever. Fuck everyone involved with this shit forever. They should all have their sparks removed and be thrown into the void.

At least I still have the Dinobots. Grimlock is King!

Not to mention the robotic Vladimir and Estragon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nweNm43sjuk

Viceroy otm

Bay: I think the Ferrari is interesting. I call him the Dreadbox. I don’t know what the toys are going to be called; I have my own name for these things.

It's entirely characteristic that this dickhead doesn't even know what the characters in his own movie are called.

"I call him Stampy"

They should make this movie in actual 3-D. Like, real giant robots. On Broadway. With songs. By, say, Coldplay. Or maybe Nickelback.

― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, December 12, 2010 9:08 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

low budge off-broadway taymor parody with cardboard transformers and Nickelback songs has potential imo.

which robot sings Rockstar?

Michael Bay: "Me sorry."

http://herocomplex.latimes.com/2011/01/14/michael-bay-ready-to-make-you-forget-transformers-2-it-was-kind-of-a-mess/

back to basics

"This one, there’s nothing mystical about it."

Spielberg added: “As the plot thickens in the third installment of ‘Transformers,’ Michael’s work on it feels fresh and energized … with lots of new and inventive ways of turning a page on this franchise. “

the only review you'll ever need:

In the previous two films, in a way, Sam Witwicky was getting harangued into action. Here – here he sniffs it out. He pursues it. He is fully initiated and seeking to save the world and in particular his new – HOLY FUCK HOT GIRLFRIEND!

Ok – so who plays the HOLY FUCK HOT GIRLFRIEND?

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is the HOLY FUCK HOT GIRLFRIEND. Rosie is apparently in a relationship with Jason Statham, but in the Michael Bay rules of the universe, she would be Shia LaBeouf’s gal. This reinforces my Russ Meyer theory, though Shia by no means look like the typical garbage man, no – Shia is a very handsome young man, but I do wonder… What this film would be if his real girlfriend, Carey Mulligan was cast opposite him. Because Carey Mulligan is a holy wow actress of the highest possible caliber… wait, that would totally not work, because by her talent level, it would mean using BAY-acting-physics that Carey Mulligan would be required to be nothing more than be an incredibly silly & grating character… whereas Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who’s vaunted acting experience is limited to modeling Victoria Secret fashions… which I’m positive she is brilliant at. As great as her runway prowesses are – she’s kinda perfect for Michael Bay. Her opening following shot is what 3D was invented for. Trust me. It is easily the new gold standard of PG13 softcore wank material. In 3D – men & boys will verbally react to the shot I’m talking about.

p sure carey and shia are ovr

Shia is a very handsome young man

How about no?

Well, compared to Harry Knowles maybe. But then, who isn't?

holy shit that's a real AICN review, wow

'The previous girl, Megan Fox, was fired because of her mouth, and this one, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, has been hired for the same reason.' - tony 'ayo' scott

damn, kind of saucy for the new york times

gotta hand it to hn: his wit (at least in terms of his writing chops) has sharpened considerably in the intervening years since I last read an AICN review.

http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/archives/this_will_go_over_well_were_sure_michael_bay_writes_to_theater_projectionis/

oh snnnnappppp

Chicago Tribune: 1.5 stars.

"Hello I'm Michael Bay, Director of Transformers." Like that's his job title, Director of Transformers. Is there also an Executive Vice President of Transformers?

god it's gonna be depressing when this is #1 at the Box Office this weekend

i do wish someone would remake Masters of the Universe and make it awesome

teal and owwwwwwwwwwrange

Was going to try to see this tonight, but will likely wait until tomorrow.

i'm boycotting altho i'm sure malkovich will be good

it'd be better if he was playing Cyrus the Virus

I just want to be part of the conversation.

You're very good, btw.

Malk would be a good Shockwave. oh well.

i missed the second one so i probably wouldn't understand the plot

explosions robots boobs

you are now up to speed

i missed the second one so i probably wouldn't understand the plot

Even if you watched the 2nd one you wouldn't understand its plot, so makes no difference

I don't want to be that - I don't even own a TV - type of guy, but I'm proud of the fact I haven't seen any of these movies. I can't afford to lose any more braincells.

I can't believe Carey Mulligan was with Shia Beef... when you're a really ace actor, you'd think you'd need to have SOME respect for the talents of the person you were with. What did they talk about?

reform of global financial regulatory institutions and the work of ts eliot, mostly

I actually went to the first one kinda excited, hoping that maybe Bay could conjure up 2 hours of dumb fun. I fell asleep at about the 90 minute mark. The staggering thing is that Bay somehow found a way to make a movie about FIGHTING GIGANTIC ROBOTS THAT SHAPESHIFT INTO VEHICLES boring. Like there is a whole hour in the first one where nothing is blowing up and that'd be fine if anything was going on other than Megan Fox talking about her 'delinquent past' ooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The second one was so spectacularly shit that people think back and recall the first one as being acceptable. This is an error.

I would only pay to see this if I were promised an epic showdown b/w the Dinobots & the Constructicons & if Soundwave were still a walkman w/ birds flying out of his chest.

Thankfully there are Dinobots in the Tree of Life.

yeah, but do they fly @ u face?

"YOUR SUMMER WILL BE... TRANSFORMED!

Three movies and it took them this long to use this tagline? What the hell?

I actually went to the first one kinda excited, hoping that maybe Bay could conjure up 2 hours of dumb fun. I fell asleep at about the 90 minute mark. The staggering thing is that Bay somehow found a way to make a movie about FIGHTING GIGANTIC ROBOTS THAT SHAPESHIFT INTO VEHICLES boring. Like there is a whole hour in the first one where nothing is blowing up and that'd be fine if anything was going on other than Megan Fox talking about her 'delinquent past' ooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

― hyman lee roth (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 22:01 (Yesterday) Bookmark

the thing is, the first hour of that first movie is actually better than the second half where the robots are actually fighting. It's actually kind of impressive the way Michael Bay made giant robots fighting each other so incredibly boring.

you guys

my wife wants to see this

*scared*

which youth-orientated action heavy SF films set in our present day/near future are acceptable?

i guess The Matrix but that's more young adult

the thing is, the first hour of that first movie is actually better than the second half where the robots are actually fighting. It's actually kind of impressive the way Michael Bay made giant robots fighting each other so incredibly boring.

― peter in montreal, Wednesday, June 29, 2011 3:00 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark

otm. actually some decent build in that first hour, and some okay attempts at a sense of wonder. it's all shattered when the robot starts break dancing though.

first film is acceptable. the first bad thing that comes to mind is some of Prime's dialogue but it's "authentic" so ehh.

one thing that helps make the first movie boring is how it's difficult to tell any of them apart aside from Bumblebee and Optimus Prime

David Edelstein loves it, I think.

The first hour of Dark of the Moon is tighter than Revenge of the Fallen, but it still has that self-parodic vibe. Bay has too much testosterone to shoot a simple dialogue scene, smashing together disparate shots while actors like John Malkovich (as Witwicky’s new boss) pitch themselves into the frame as if it’s a gladiator arena. Malkovich knows that Transformers regular John Turturro will be making an entrance later in the picture and that he has to work fast to give the film’s weirdest performance — and he’s up to it, being, unlike Turturro, untethered by known laws of human psychology or cognition. But even Malkovich is no match for Ken Jeong, representing not just himself but all Asian races for the Who Can Abase Himself/Herself Most for Money in a Michael Bay Movie? As a scientist in over his head with the Autobots’ archenemies, the Decepticons, Jeong throws himself at Shia in a men’s room stall, jabbering wildly and pulling a top-secret memo from between his legs. Korea wins! Freed from Jeong’s overacting, Shia reasserts his male dominance by pawing Rosie in an elevator while “You Light Up My Life” issues from its speakers. The Joseph Brooks Memorial Sexual Predator Foundation thanks Paramount and Michael Bay for their generous donation.

I'm looking forward to the bad-tempered Topless Robot review, have no interest in the actual movie

i'd rather watch a movie about Farting Transformers than this

Transformers peed in previous instalments, so you might get your wish.

that's not even as bad as one of them saying "Sup bitches" in the first one..(was it Soundwave? fuck if I know, or care)...

Man, I love Edelstein when he's having fun at a movie.

“We tried to learn from the second movie. On the second movie we got burned. We had a writers strike, we had to agree on a story in three weeks, and then we knew they were going on strike. It was a fucked scenario all the way around, it wasn’t fair to the writer, it wasn’t fair to me, it wasn’t fair to anybody. It was still an entertaining movie, but I think we failed on certain aspects. What we did with this movie is I think we have a much better script, and we got back to basics. I think there’s some really cool action on this movie, there’s some very cool conspiracy, there’s great robot stuff in this that people were missing in the second one, you’ve got great robot conflict. So I’m excited about this movie. It’s more serious. I got rid of the dorky comedy, I mean we’ve got two little characters, that’s it, but the dorkiness is not there. Dork-free Transformers. It’s much more serious. It’s still entertaining, it’s big looking.”
― da croupier, Friday, December 10, 2010 2:47 PM (6 months ago) Bookmark

you have to admit, michael bay basically IS his audience

i don't even have anything against bay or his movies, honestly, but you read this interviews and it's hard not to draw the conclusion that he's a fucking idiot.

or at least a guy with a poor command of language.

But look at the photos of him: the watches on that guy.

and the chest hair!

http://www.thegeekcouch.com/wp-content/gallery/transformers-2-behind-the-scenes/t2-rofl-michaelbay1.jpg

yeah, it's that big.

http://gordonandthewhale.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/michael-bay-at-work.jpg

http://www.page2live.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/smg_fl8_michael-bay_gawking-in-miami_071809_06.jpg

no comment.

are those spores growing on his jeans?

So my buddy wanted to go see this, even though just this weekend we talked about how shit the second one is and paid for me to go with him. And yet I want to beat the living faeces out of Michael Bay and ask for the price of admission back.

More than anything this movie just didn't make sense. Like at all. In any shape or form.

But I guess it didn't have an hour long segment of an 'old' Transformer who spooooooke liiiiiike thiiiiiiiis buuuuuut wiiiiiiithouuuuuut aaaaaaaactuualllllllly saaaaaaaaying aaaaaanyyyyyyyything to make you fall asleep and it only had a couple awkward transformers as people stereotypes and no giant testes.

So basically only one of the worst movies I've ever seen, as opposed to the worst movie I've ever seen.

New chick certainly was attractive at not doing anything though.

Oh and there are like 25 different bullet time 3d look at Shia LeBoof jump around in slow motion scenes that are hilarious - somehow the same character who is a clutz destroying the white house can jump over a car to *slide* under a car 5 feet from it like wow

And Soundwave as a giant snake blows up an underground bunker in Chenobyl with the army guys in it and they all survive still looking handsome and unscatched. And then giant snake Soundwave EATS A BUILDING but its cool yo hot chick falls on a fire escape to she survives.

I just didn't understand anything to do with mcdreamy

how does shockwave representing work?

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2011/06/michael-bay-loves-bottle-rocket-and-other-stories

haven't read the full thing but sounds hilares

http://www.chicagotribune.com/media/graphic/2011-06/62901189.jpg

saw this. it wasn't good.

I can confirm that first-hand accounts verify his assholishnish

assholishnesh

asholishnesh

I am Sean Connery

http://www.nypress.com/article-22598-decepticon-job.html

Looks like the Decepticons have destroyed Armond's review

And yet, Transformers stubbornly remains a boy’s thing: IMAX-scale figures combining destruction and reconstruction. Bay rivals Sam Peckinpah’s compositional gifts, but the unexamined violence is offered as primal acts of mindless leisure. This is a pathetic development of what should have been A.I.’s humanist legacy except that early aughts culture-arbiters never took up the moral significance in Spielberg’s exploration of man’s destiny. (Gregory Solman’s essential essay on A.I. was turned down by a New York film publication and only published by the Australian website Senses of Cinema.)

lol @ this tedious idiot

that fuckin guy, smh.

If you pay to see this, you are part of the problem.

Regrettably, the poetry of Transformers 2—it presciently translated post-9/11 Mid-East fears to the surrealistic vandalism of its Pyramid sequences—is lost.

troll on another level

My disappointment in Dark of the Moon is complicated since it is clearly a film of enormous—if limited—imagination. Its cultural impact denies the sensitivity of A.I.’s endeavor by promising stimulation rather than insight. Since A.I.’s gentle cerebration was never popular enough to counter the demoralization of 9/11, thoughtless cinematic forms prevailed—along with a panic-stricken relationship to technology that this series virtually celebrates.

worst 9/11 coping device ever

I'm proud of the fact I haven't seen any of these movies. I can't afford to lose any more braincells.

Not sure the Transformer series actually engaged brain cells in any way, positive or negative. It does seem to displace the view 2+ hours into the future, leaving only hazy and abstract traces in the memory.

Ah yes, "the poetry of Transformers 2."

kinda like saying "the soaring arena rock of the Trashmen"

Don't ever change, Armond.

it is clearly a film of enormous—if limited—imagination

um

guys, why do you bother reading armond white?

"the film is filled with bright—if murky—colors"

I read him because I like to picture him cackling himself silly as he pours this bullshit out of his earhole.

that just sounds painful

it is clearly a film of enormous—if limited—imagination

i <3 armond white

this was filmed while i was working in chicago last year.
saw some of the post battle debris outside of the office (35 e. wackeer) one morning.
(the morning after we met up i think dan)
looking forward to seeing the building get mashed in the movie.

that oral history of michael bay GQ article is awesome

it reminds me of a pet theory i've been nursing, which is that bay's career will come crashing down when a major star is killed doing one of his movies - i feel like it's inevitable with the way he shoots

Don't underestimate the possibility that one of his Decepticons may object to being ordered around by Mr. Bay all the time.

Bay: The real story is, it's going to happen. Yes, we are going to have an asteroid hit us again, and yes, the earth will die. Absolutely, 100 percent positive.

isn't that kind of true?

asteroids aren't real! bay invented them for that movie.

it's hard to imagine now, but the word "asteroid" was invented in 1997.

it originally referred to a type of polyp, iirc

before the term 'asteroid' was coined in 1997, there was the atari 2600 video game 'hemeroids.' That word contains the Latin root roids, which itself was sampled and looped for the 'asteroid' word.

I wonder how much it would have cost if he's had to shoot a whole new movie?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7kcqB3thJM

Eh, he's an auteur

it sort of makes me warm to bay. the audience for transformers 3 deserves no better.

http://i1100.photobucket.com/albums/g406/yju895/001.gif

better version

i'm just amazed that The Island is more teal and oranged

The Transformers grab looks like it has been filmed with a camcorder - which would attempt to auto-calibrate the white balance, and remove some of the teal orange effect.

armond white as usual clinging to the precipice of grammar.

and occasionally tumbling into the void:

Scenes where robots destroy cities apparently uninhabited by people—a bloodless Armageddon—either excavates Chicago’s secret moral corruption (perhaps a timely private fantasy of Rod Blagojevich?) or else is just another tentpole time-killer, as stupid as Inception or Avatar.

armond white getting distracted from his sentence's original plural subject by a singular noun in a parenthetical clause probably explains why the second halves of his ideas never have anything to do with the first halves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIBNB0LPpOc

that's sort of mildly interesting -- carriers in 1941 must have looked different to carriers in 2007. it's obviously at least partly cgi because the planes on deck in transformers (modern jets) aren't in the peal harbour shots. but i'd guess it's not *all* cgi, but a shot of modern carriers...? what im saying is, either it was an anachronism in the one movie, or in the other.

mostly it's interesting because you figure dude would be into wasting more money to make a whole new shot

michael bay, america's thriftiest filmmaker

enh, isn't this 'tic' just a product of digital editing? it's so easy to bank footage now

this is not a new thing at all

filmmmakers have been doing this since the dawn of movies

recycling sets, props, sound f/x, music cues, footage, etc.

digital editing/cgi just makes it even easier.

Kinda wondered what happened to Jolt, Mudflap and Skids?

Shockwave and his worm were kinda *shrug*

Anyway, better than ROTF.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PHw80S5TQ4

what movie is that from?

missing reel of the magnificent ambersons

(actually, it's mystery men)

Basically, this trilogy has been about the folly of Optimus Prime - he's a total autocrat (haha), and is unwilling to listen to anyone else - he coulda just called a truce at any time it seems, but nah, he's just got to go and chop up his enemies with his axe and sword. Couldn't win the war, and couldn't win the peace. Oh, and the space bridge - Galactus moment...just get around a table with Sentinel and Megatron, work it out - you can transport yourselves to all sorts of uninhabited worlds and plunder resources - 6 billion puny humans would make for rubbish slaves anyhow. Nothing noble about Optimus :(

I need to get a job.

Soon.

^ blames Chamberlain for WW2

(actually, it's mystery men)

― death to ilx, long live the frogbs (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Tuesday, July 5, 2011 12:28 AM (15 hours ago) Bookmark

ha, that must have happened after i walked out on that fucking movie.

this is not a new thing at all

...filmmmakers have been doing this since the dawn of movies

― skinny arbuckle (latebloomer), Sunday, July 3, 2011 4:40 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

this sounds true, but i'd like to see other obvious examples from the last 30 years of big-budget, high profile, tentpole productions. like, not in sequels or B-movies, where you'd expect it, but other instances of the straight-up reuse of non-stock footage in unrelated "blockbusters" by the same filmmaker. it's not something i've noticed before...

I need to get a job.

Not sure that's wise--if films like this is what you're spending your $$ on when you don't have a job, what hell will you unleash when you do have a disposable income ???

lol that ppl (not here) are actually incensed that a filmmaker reused footage

There's a difference between stock footage of dogfights or whatever being used in black and white war flicks, and elaborate helicopter shots of aircraft carriers in the ocean. Then again, for all I know these shots appear in all his films and are his trademarks. Hell, for all I know these three shitty movies reuse robot fight footage.

his sounds true, but i'd like to see other obvious examples from the last 30 years of big-budget, high profile, tentpole productions. like, not in sequels or B-movies, where you'd expect it, but other instances of the straight-up reuse of non-stock footage in unrelated "blockbusters" by the same filmmaker. it's not something i've noticed before...

― Looking for that #Swagu? (contenderizer), Tuesday, July 5, 2011 9:28 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

It is pretty rare to see such blatant re-use of footage in a recent high-profile blockbuster. But I still don't think any of us would have noticed it in this case if it wasn't for that youtube comparison clip! So it probably goes on more frequently than you'd think.

i was literally laughing at this movie!

x-post

One minor example of footage re-use from the last decade that I personally noticed was that Gary Sinise sci-fi movie Impostor (I might have been the only person in America who saw that movie in the theater...and it was for free because I worked there). There's this scene in the beginning that's supposed to be news footage of the aftermath of an alien attack, but it's blatantly taken from Starship Troopers. There's also allegedly footage re-used from Gattaca in that movie too!

The Star Trek movies re-used lots of footage as well. The opening shot of the Klingon ship in Star Trek: The Motion Picture was re-used as part of the Kobayashi Maru test in Wrath of Khan. And the Klingon Bird of Prey from ST VI is reused a bunch in Generations, including the key shot of it exploding.

http://www.theonion.com/video/nation-somehow-failed-to-predict-attack-by-michael,20888/

sort of slightly not related at all - in Revenge of the Fallen the dozy suit guy who gets thrown out of the plane by the tough hero marines pretty much steals a jokey line from Point Break.

okay he doesn't get thrown out, just accidentally opens his chute.

highest domestic grossing movie of the year

Yuck, this means even more of these.

I liked Conan's tweet this weekend about trying to decide between seeing Horrible Bosses, Bad Teacher, or Crappy Transformers.

Was just looking at the ironhide toy on amazon and part if his description was all about how he 'loves a fight, very agressive' etc. And I just thought, well I never got any of that from watching the films.

these films need to be less about the boring humans and more about the robot characters, yeah i know it's been said lots of times but its just so true.

dude... dude

no

i guess you lose even by clicking on a thread about transformers, but: thinking about the robots' characters. come on.

rong.

this is an important issue.

i don't see many movies, but i loved this. bye

Make a new trilogy, all on cybertron. No room for humans.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tnSNJd8cLuQ/SdlSOTxTO2I/AAAAAAAAAis/aY1GhQWokbY/s400/No+Room+for+Humans.JPG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv6fVuvcHis

I wanna go see this

You seeking permission or absolution

http://www.rogerebert.com/balder-and-dash/kevin-b-lees-transformers-the-premake

http://io9.com/transformers-age-of-extinction-the-spoiler-faq-1598579492

blimey this movie is pretty dreadful

And now some new insanity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79oxuuvx1JE

michael bay has devoted more than a decade of his life and spent hundreds of millions of dollars on untold hundreds of thousands of hours of manpower to produce no less than five transformers movies

i feel like this is bordering on mental illness on his part tbh

I'm disappointed they didn't just soundtrack that whole thing to INXS

“He was telling me about the work he did on [the Transformers bots] – how he would refine them and go into the special effects guys and design them and get all the details of light on metal and all that. He told me all that at breakfast before I started on the film. I thought ‘This guy’s a genius. He really is.’ He’s the same ilk as Oliver Stone and Spielberg and Scorsese. Brilliance. Savants, really, they are. He’s a savant,” Hopkins said.

http://io9.gizmodo.com/anthony-hopkins-calls-michael-bay-a-genius-and-savant-1794139158

i feel like this is bordering on mental illness on anthony hopkins' part tbh