stuff you know nothing about

since there are so many things that it would be possible to know about, everyone is deeply ignorant of a majority of the sum of human knowledge. so to focus the question slightly, what is something that you know nothing about but that most other people do, at least to some degree?

physics

happiness

flowers

;_;

washing dishes apparently

vaginas

having a pet other than a cat or a frog

baseball. I mean, I get it as a game: hit the ball, run, catch the ball etc. but I don't understand all the behind the scenes goings on and gamesmanship that diehard fans love about the game.

freedom

manners

driving, if you ask Mr Veg

Getting motivated!

Matt P I can teach you about vaginas if you want

sewing and knitting

guns n ammo

botany

ooh yeah, gardening

port forwarding

also finance

my relatively weakest area is

tying knots

tennis

no that's ok. i'm into boys, vaginas aren't that high on my list, though i did watch a stan brakhage movie about childbirth last night that was illuminating. xp

hahaha

Trivial Pursuit has proven that sports are my trivia Achilles heel. As for real knowledge, I know, like, next to nothing.

engines

changing any light bulb that is not a 60w bayonet
plumbing
windex
basically anything handyman/cleaning

mortgages

start of this year i could have said plumbing/engines, but it's been a rough year for learning experiences on those fronts

Cars

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_UvpZSLHqHY0/TGL7SHlaOvI/AAAAAAAAAFo/4fKvj4CO474/s1600/geography.jpg

^^^^a book about me

one thing i know everything about is rolling my eyes into the back of my head and releasing steam from my ears, which is what happens whenever someone talks to me about interest rates

litcrit
football
cars
techno appreciation

nuclear engineering

~*the human heart*~

too many things tbh

xpost

but paradoxically, abbbottt, a great man once told me "the more you know, the more you realize how much you don't know"

litcrit

i would not sweat it, tbh

Country music

back in the 80s i somehow managed to have no idea about whatever it was that was going on in nicaragua that people were so indignant about, and eventually it got too late to ask anyone without scorn being heaped upon my person, and there was no google for finding things out discreetly, and i lived in wellington where people were stooped and bowed from the burden of the intense pomposity of their thoughts about the world stage and their sorrow about how the world stage would be enthralled by their thoughts if only it wasn't too far away to know of them, so i couldn't have been in a worse place to have this shameful ignorance problem.

i suppose nicaragua would have been worse.

I know nothing about Indian politics and it's starting to embarrass me tbh.

estela pls stop rationing yr posts so much

Credit Default Swaps. The Bible. Semiotics. The Country Music Awards. Game Systems. The rules of cricket. Cricket in general.

People only ever explain the laws of cricket in cricket terms, which you can't possibly know unless you know the laws of cricket. It drives me mental.

being uncool

i know enough about 25 to know i know nothing about 25

cricket's a good one

Cricket is baseball for grown-ups, there, easy.

People only ever explain the laws of cricket in cricket terms, which you can't possibly know unless you know the laws of cricket. It drives me mental.

^ this. I have a basic understanding of most sports, even ones I don't like, but I just can't get with cricket.

I used to play it as well! I was quite good at bowling and at hitting the ball quite hard so got on the team, but I had no idea of what to do when or why.

game theory

Belle and Sebastian
reptilian embryology

xp to ailsa

Years and years ago when I wanted to learn cricket I asked a cricket-head work colleague. He explained EVERYTHING in cricket jargon.

'What's a googly?'
'Oh, it's like a wrongun'
'What's silly mid-on?'
'It's the other side of the leg position'

etc etc

Now I understand it all but the way people do that still infuriates me.

lol I was going to say cricket

'What's a googly?'
'Oh, it's like a wrongun'
'What's silly mid-on?'
'It's the other side of the leg position'

this kind of savagery is why we can't have nice things

When I look at cricket, I see people running every which way. I wonder if maybe there aren't any rules, if every game you just make new rules as you go along. But I'll see a cricket score in the paper, and see that someone scored six centuries, and it's clear that there's a way to keep track of all that running around.

fwiw I am the best explainer of cricket in the world so address ur queries here

investing/the stock market

x-post was waiting for you to show up tbh

acoleuthic what is the difference between a wicket, a wicket, a wicket and a wicket?

what is currently seriously popular re: movies/music (lol epistemic closure)
ambition/money
happiness

sensible/rational decision making

certainty in decision making, yeah

music, soccer, american football, baseball, books, bicycles, TMI and everything

fwiw I am the best explainer of cricket in the world so address ur queries here

i have heard this about u but thus far been unconvinced so try again

i know baseball. i was in oz during the ashes a couple years ago. the bat, the wicket, the hurlers who try to throw it by you and then the spinners. so the 'pitcher' is trying to hit the wicket to get a . . . something. and the hitter is trying to hit it out of the ground or otherwise make it uncatchable on the fly. runs are something else from baseball. dunno what an over is. 20/20 is a blasphemy i'm told.

ok go

acoleuthic what is the difference between a wicket, a wicket, a wicket and a wicket?

ok srsly I have lottttts of work to do right now

but ok

one is three sticks with 2 cross-sticks on top that the batsman aims to protect and the bowler aims to hit
one is the very act of preserving one's right to bat (i.e. the batsman's wicket, which the bowler seeks)
one is the bowler's wicket, which happens when the bowler dismisses the batsman
and one is the 22-yard strip of turf down which the bowler delivers the ball at the batsman

This still sounds like a Monty Python sketch to me.

cheers for humouring me with non-cricket-jargon lj

btw adding the offside rule to this list (and I've tried, believe me)

oh yeah, the only thing I know about the offside rule is that it's a thing that exists

i know baseball. i was in oz during the ashes a couple years ago. the bat, the wicket, the hurlers who try to throw it by you and then the spinners. so the 'pitcher' is trying to hit the wicket to get a . . . something. and the hitter is trying to hit it out of the ground or otherwise make it uncatchable on the fly. runs are something else from baseball. dunno what an over is. 20/20 is a blasphemy i'm told.

ok go

― mookieproof, Friday, 10 December 2010 13:00 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The bowler is aiming for the wicket to take the batsman's wicket by collecting the wicket (unless the wicket is sticky obv).

20/20 is cricket but shorter and with cheerleaders, so yes 99.94% blasphemy.

When one wants an in-depth explanation of cricket, the obvious place to go is I LOVE CRICKET: THE CHINATOWN OF ILX: THE CHINATOWN OF ILX.

batting is done in pairs. the two partners must run to each end of the 22-yard bowling strip in order to complete a 'run'. 'runs' are how cricket is scored

they can only run under certain circumstances. usually this is when the bowler has delivered the ball and the batsman facing (i.e. not the one at the bowler's end of the strip) has hit it away from any of the bowler's teammates - if he hits it at a team-mate and attempts a 'run', the team-mate can throw the ball to either end, and if it gets there before either batsman does, and is used to break the gate of sticks, they are dismissed

the gate of sticks, if struck by the bowler, results in dismissal. also if the batsman hits the ball and a bowler's teammate catches it before it hits the ground, they are dismissed. the bowler can also effect such a dismissal.

an 'over' is a set of 6 balls. this is the number of balls a bowler can deliver before another bowler must bowl from the opposite end of the strip.

if u cannot understand that ur obtuse

oh and when I say '6 balls' I mean '6 deliveries of the 1 ball', silly me

sorry for derailing yr thread z s

^

now i work

xxp yeah they only use one ball unless it's an irretrievable boundary or some Sri Lankan puts chewing gum on it.

taxonomy

i.e. I cannot identify common trees or flowers or birds, and basically everyone else in my family can :(

cars

I don't know if a dog needs the same amino acids as a human does to get a complete protein (thinking baout this bcz I just gave my dog some of my beans and rice).

Man, you're brave to feed your dog beans. I hope he doesn't sleep in your bedroom.

amazing

so if a batted ball is gathered by a fielder, who then throws to either end of the 'wicket' (i.e. the bowler and the 'catcher') then a runner caught between is 'out'. in baseball this is a 'force out'

how can the bowler effect such a dismissal? how many dismissals can the batsman's side suffer? one per batter?

uh . . . a bowler can only throw six balls? don't think that's right

When we were in Botswana there was a bill-oddie on the safari who kept stopping the car because he had spotted a lesser wild african yellow-breasted egret or some shit. This while there was a pride of seven lions 12 feet away. We did not know or care about birds.

just as well my mom isn't yours then

fuckin birds

if you ask me for a tool, it had better be:

1) a hammer,
2) pliers, or
3) a screwdriver, of which I can differentiate between
a) a flathead and
b) a Phillips head

how can the bowler effect such a dismissal? how many dismissals can the batsman's side suffer? one per batter?

Yep. One bowler can feasibly take 10 wickets (i.e. take out 10 batsmen) in one innings.

uh . . . a bowler can only throw six balls? don't think that's right

One bowls six, then another bowls six, then the first can go again.

Just to be clear, I misread (err didn't read) the question at first. I don't think everyone else knows about nuclear physics.

the bowler can effect a dismissal by catching the ball before it hits the ground. this is in itself a dismissal and does not require the ball to be thrown to either end of the bowling strip

a bowler can only bowl 6 times in a set before another bowler must bowl from the other end, but after 6 deliveries at that end it may revert back to the initial bowler at the initial end, ad nauseam (literally amirite)

btw I am also quite the bird expert haha

there are 11 batters but obviously only 10 need to be dismissed because one cannot bat without a partner

I have to teach taxonomy to 12-year-olds, so I've gone from knowing nothing about it to knowing the basics. Five (or six--depends) kingdoms of living things; five classes of animals; eight classes of invertebrates; etc., etc.

the hell!!! abbotttt!!! i was going to post the exact same geography book .jpg

well exept from amazon with the little look inside arrow, but anyway, you rat!!!!

i am so embarrassed by my geography

Nine classes of invertebrates if you count Newt Gingrich separately.

if you ask me for a tool, it had better be:

1) a hammer,
2) pliers, or
3) a screwdriver, of which I can differentiate between
a) a flathead and
b) a Phillips head

ha! me too. I can also locate a level and a tape measure

self-control

Going to bed early.

Opera

to me, cricket is just

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kr07u5jQd91qztqsao1_500.png

http://www.dangermouse.net/cricket/fielding.gif

i played cricket for two years at high school against my will and i never understood what we were supposed to be doing or what any of the scores meant.

I love how it becomes a smiley face when you squint btw xp

silly mid-on, best name ever.

another thing that regularly makes me feel small and ineffectual is other peoples ability to instantly recognize actors in different roles. it usually takes me several minutes to figure out "oh hey, that's Actor X, who I should know." like yesterday I was watching Touch of Evil and didn't figure out Hank Quinlan was orson welles until like halfway through. I was looking at pictures of cybill shepherd the other day, and didn't realize she was in Taxi Driver until I saw it in her filmography.

I blame it, as with all things, on dubious pseudo-science:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-race_effect

short third man can also be 'fly slip', deep forward midwicket universally known as 'cow' fwiw

oh yeah, I had no idea it was joseph cotten playing, uh, leland in citizen kane until I read the wikipedia page. despite the fact that I saw the third man just like, a month ago

silly mid-on, best name ever.

i played cricket for two years at high school against my will and i never understood what we were supposed to be doing or what any of the scores meant.

could you be any better

they've also got 'long leg' completely wrong. 'long leg' is where 'square fine leg' is, but on the boundary

where 'long leg' is = 'backstop'

stocks, 401K, global economics

never heard of 'cow' before today

stocks/investing is a pretty good one

my grandma used to tell a joke about how cricket was for ladies bc the men play in slips, lol

lj you are the Richie Benaud of this thread :)

Okay I'm done with cricket

stocks/investing is a pretty good one

I was feeling insecure about this, so I read a whole book called The Four Pillars of Investing at the prompting of my brother. ("It's the only book I read all year." -blurb from my brother you will not find on the dust jacket.) I can sum it up for you in one sentence: "Just invest in an index fund." Seemed sane to me, but every person I know who talks about the market like it's sports, they act like I said something heretical and offensive when I tell them that summary.

Investing is the worst because everyone who knows anything is keeping it all to themselves so they can reap the benefits. That of course leaves financial retards like us out in the cold.

x-post No see, I really know NOTHING about it, I don't even know what an index fund is. :(

http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2010/11/30/index-funds-the-investment-answer/

And of course if you ever get chatting to a friend about investments they invariably say 'it's easy, you simply' followed by a confusing monologue about investing.

xp to E yes exactly, it's so frustrating

Watch, a stock nerd will now tell me that entire post is wrong (read: risk averse). xp to self!

here's a pro tip, people who say they know about investing actually know nothing about investing

programming languages

And of course if you ever get chatting to a friend about investments

Thankfully this pretty much never happens.

i 'understand' stocks and such, but . . . the more i learn, the more they appear to be a form of gambling with only tangential links to underlying value. and i certainly don't 'understand' that gambling atmosphere

another thing that regularly makes me feel small and ineffectual is other peoples ability to instantly recognize actors in different roles. it usually takes me several minutes to figure out "oh hey, that's Actor X, who I should know."

this is probably the thing i know the most about. it doesn't really make me feel big and effectual.

dayo do you have trouble remembering faces irl? like does it take several times meeting someone before you'll instantly go oh it's so and so when you see them again?

hes just saying white people look the same to him

I think I'm pretty good with faces irl, just not in movies

prosopognasia xp

prosopogazn - asian who thinks all wite ppl look the same

nakhchivan what r the holes beneath the waterline of ur copiously broad-hulled knowledge

wire lyrics

i shd have known better

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wq4czUflP2s/R7T3A2FmlsI/AAAAAAAAABs/lRwBIebpLLM/s320/guidos.jpg

come on - these people are all photoshopped to be the same people

they may or may not be ppl but they're not wite

investing otm. Tried to immerse myself in my 401k before the market went pearshaped, talked to the advisor through work & came away O_O (ie no better off).

orange counts as white imo xpost

prosprogasia - person who thinks everyone in the band 'asia' looks the same

i shd have known better

― a lout deeply plugged into the Po (acoleuthic), Friday, 10 December 2010 04:26 (2 minutes ago)

i was going to c&p all your 'YOU SEE! CRICKET IS SIMPLES' posts itt and juxtapose them with yr 'i have sooo much work' comment as a way to procrastinate further wrt the work i have been failing to do for the last 16 hours

RSS feeds

^ this

you guys try watching oceans eleven and keeping track of all the characters, its impossible, because they're not azn

one of them is iirc

doesn't it serve both cricbros and non anglo ppl alike to pretend cricket is exceedingly complex, either to make themselves feel like the bearers of some esoteric knowledge, or to affirm their lazy ideas about the english as whimsical eccentrics

i was going to c&p all your 'YOU SEE! CRICKET IS SIMPLES' posts itt and juxtapose them with yr 'i have sooo much work' comment as a way to procrastinate further wrt the work i have been failing to do for the last 16 hours

― nakhchivan, Friday, 10 December 2010 04:30 (3 minutes ago)

dude I wrote a 1500-word essay on NFL in the time since I last ventured to explain cricket

nakhchivan otm about cricket btw, it's all a load of toffee words rammed into a sport that really does entail people chucking shit at other people.

RSS feeds confused the hell out of me until I started using them, now they're indispensable.

RSS feeds confused the hell out of me until I started using them, now they're indispensable

Yep.

you will wake up tomorrow and find you have written about some nonexistent hybrid of cricket and nfl

I think you're onto something. All I know is my husband loves telling the story of visiting Australia when a test match was underway, and he said every day for 2 weeks, you could turn on the TV and they *would still be playing* and lolol the score was 500 to 300. And I would get annoyed and say well they stop each day, and that's not how they always play it, but it's a good story so it sticks.

But ppl think Australian Rules is 'whoa crazy why are they running so much waow' and it's really not that big of a deal.

shrug.

you guys try watching oceans eleven and keeping track of all the characters, its impossible, because they're not azn

I had trouble with this, too. Another example: I spent the first 30 minutes of "The Departed" thinking Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon were literally the same person & same character.

each one of those cricposts took ~90 seconds to formulate - it's one of the few things I can do on complete autopilot

and no it doesn't suit me to affect an air of cricketing sophistication - number one way to seem like an elitist jerk iirc

cricket's complexities exist in the minds of those playing and watching, not in the physical fabric of the sport - it can be as simple as you want it to be

also I so haven't. although what the hell is a defensive gullyback

xxxxxp In fact the only genuinely complicated thing about cricket is the Duckworth-Lewis system but that's all conveniently worked out by eggheads anyway.

best thing about cricket is those cream cableknit jumpers anyway

The other thing is the way Australians do the scores backwards.

^due to coriolis effect iirc

Last week people were running around the office going 'omg we're one for three!!' I thought oh noes we've lost a wicket after just three runs.

Wait, the other way round. Never mind, can't be bothered now.

real life

sorry to hear that

it's not 'all that' tho

combo meals

http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/9835/pra0618a
I only know surreal life
real life alludes me

hyperreal is where it's at these days

ilxrl4eva

if I have a picture I saved from a blog a long time ago, is there any way I can find that blog again using that picture?

http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/9835/pra0618abu3.jpg
this picture specifically

o shit u just incepted me lorax

was it from one of these?

http://www.xippas.com/en/artist/philippe_ramette
http://iamprofound-pa.blogspot.com/2010/11/favorite-new-frenchman.html
http://pulpfactor.com/photography/4426/gravity-defying-photography-by-philippe-ramette/

how did u do that

it was partly dumb luck. First I took the captain's image and found the image size (496x620). then in Google Image Search, I specified that I wanted only images of that exact size. Then I searched for "surreal", and a couple of the small set of results were the image above, and clicking those images brought me to the blogs they were originally posted on

Politics :/

dang, Z S is a http://www.net-detective.co.uk/privateeye.jpg

but I doubt that one of those was the blog that he originally saw it on..it was probably on dozens of blogs, and if you did the same google image search with "ocean" or "sideways" or "420" I bet it would lead you to a whole other set of blaaags

z s will u marry me

i thought u would have some mad science that could find it from filename ;_;

good work z_s! step 1 completed.

now the blog I'm looking for was all art, random but mostly psychedelic art
it had a black wallpaper
and it was a different language blog. Italian or Netherlander?
it was called something like zu blog? zoo blog? it started with a z
we are halfway there

i think we are approximately 1/234234th of the way there!

but there's something in the bible about how even really long journeys start with a single step, and if you don't take that step you go to hell, so we're doing ok!

captainlorax is directing u to your long lost flemish doppelganger, z_u

hmmm...longshot, but it wasn't

http://2photo.ru/en/post/18148

was it? 2's kinda look like z's...

nah, but don't lose any sleep over this, i'm already on the job

taking no joy in this
http://www.tineye.com/search/386c20215af3c20f3e1051af051d66d8f3fc9c84/

Nice link, but it wasn't helpful. I've googled, tried a different image that may have been on the blog etc.. I give up.

I love where this thread has gone u guys <3

It never occured to me that you could GIS image sizes. Z S I'm kinda crushing on you

I feel like I know more about vaginas/menstruation (loliownadivacupdon'task)/the female orgasm than most gay men but:

horticulture
sports (but the kicker is my uncle is an NFL coach which IMO is way lol)

whoa, who is it

does a coach mean main coach only cuz that kinda narrows it to a workable number

he is what they call a "defensive coordinator" apparently this is a big deal??

there's one per team iirc, and yeah

it is the n3w y0rk j3tz d3f3nsiv c00rd1n4tor I guess?

ps it is pronounced "PETT-tin" and not "pet-TEEN" #nflpronunciationskilz

Nice! Jets D pretty hardcore (well until the last game they played but w/e) still, that's pretty cool Stevie!

haha I was searching for "d0ln4ck nfl defensive coordinator" with no luck

idk I guess? I still can't process it. The idea of my uncle being the drummer for like Tortoise or something is 10x cooler IMO but apparently this is the lolNFL equivalent of that?

do you have any good family stories? did he ever flip out and tackle the chocolate fondue fountain at a family gathering?

i don't want to talk abt that

It never occured to me that you could GIS image sizes

I think they just added that recently, unless I was missing it before. Also newish, and a pretty neat feature, is that you can search for images by color. Also, you can turn Safesearch off and wind up with boobs everywhere, no matter what your search terms are

lol

go ogle

Also, you can turn Safesearch off and wind up with boobs everywhere, no matter what your search terms are

yeah this could be a game, the most bizarre search term which results in (are) boobies.

ur mom

sorry jibe, not normally 'that guy' but there it is

math

rlly bad at english geography. we had a jigsaw of english counties when i was a kid that i completed over and over, none of it sank in.

where the fuck is hertfordshire? could be next to cornwall or scotland for all i know.

i never made it past algebra one in school. Somehow I ended up doing financial crap for 11 years which obviously had lots of math. But you know computers and all help.

where the fuck is hertfordshire? could be next to cornwall or scotland for all i know.

― e.g. delete via naivete (ledge), Friday, 10 December 2010 15:12 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

Der, it's on the border to both!

do you have any good family stories? did he ever flip out and tackle the chocolate fondue fountain at a family gathering?

PS I was only kidding. No funny stories I can think of

I'm a bad boy when it comes to European and Asian geography, but am pretty lost when you get to Africa or South America, aside from a few really obvious ones.

Fandom. I pretend to know why people want to write about sitcom characters boffing one another.

they're familiar

where the fuck is hertfordshire? could be next to cornwall or scotland for all i know.

― e.g. delete via naivete (ledge), Friday, December 10, 2010 10:12 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark

look for the boathouse

nah tamz ur thinking of herefordshire

What's the colour of the boathouse at Hereford?

gr8 moments in threads delivering

i know (next to?) nothing about the way chemical nomenclature works. whoosh, over my head.

How to maintain a regular, normal, healthy sleep schedule

loooool ^this

ugh to this also

ditto

^^

having woken up at 9pm, that

wine

What ENBB said!