"Just take the compliment"

Someone at work told me this –– he said I always shoot down other ppl's compliments. Is it a challenge for anyone else to just say "thank you" and hold your tongue rather than point out why it's an inaccurate compliment? Am I committing the sin of pride even asking this question?

btw did you know you can remember how to spell this kind of "compliment" with the mnemonic "I like compliments"?

I Love Comics?

If that helps you spell "compliment," that is great too!

you can be gracious and humble at the same time.

I was told I didn't take compliments well for years growing up, mostly because I always would reply "nahhhh" and explain why I didn't deserve it.

over time I grew to start accepting them, as the way I see it is I don't know when my next compliment will be, so I try to always say "thank you", even if I think they're a loon.

i get where yr coming from tho, did it most of my life.

if you accept their compliment, you're complimenting them back on having good judgment

Oooh I am awful at compliments, I always deflect them. "Thats a lovely dress!" "oh haha this is so old and I didn't iron it".

WTF, me.

like if someone said "nice ass" to me, then I might be like "uh wtf" but ya know....

mostly cuz that's a real big lie

Your co-worker has a point, but also I understand the challenge in accepting compliments. Just realize that accepting a compliment does not equate to agreement in detail, or self-complacency in regard to one's desire to improve.

By challenging the compliment on its own terms, or by contradicting it in some particular, just realize that you are also challenging the compliment giver's sincerity or else their judgement. Socially speaking, this is not gracious or wise. Keep your own counsel and just smile and say thank you. Compliments are almost universally well-meant and offered on terms of friendship or admiration.

if you accept their compliment, you're complimenting them back on having good judgment

yeah, there is something to this ^^^^.

best way to handle compliments, for me, has been to say something like, "thank you, that's kind," or "well, i'm not sure i'd agree with you, but thanks."

I am training myself just to happily say "thanks!" and resist urge to explain it away, or ruin the moment. It is bloody hard though!

i tend to suspect there's an agenda behind most compliments. i mean it depends on the compliment. i realize this is sad and i try to be open if someone wants to say something nice to me.

some people have a hard time accepting gifts as well as compliments.
it's like TAKE THE GIFT AND GTFO

"Just take the compliment" sounds a little like someone has an agenda behind their compliments though. i'd be tempted to reply "don't tell me what to do" tbh. xp

xpost i don't, i like gifts. sometimes I take things that weren't given to me too

man, aimless is always right

just say thank you and realize the compliment was from the <3 (usually, and when it's not you can tell and you don't talk with people like that anyway so who cares)

Yeah the other day this lady who lives near me and I see all the time at the park with her dog, smiled at me and called out "thats a great skirt!"

I disarmedly said "why thank you!" and carried on my way. And then spent the next 10 minutes wondering if she'd been sarcastic!

"Just take the compliment" sounds a little like someone has an agenda behind their compliments though. i'd be tempted to reply "don't tell me what to do" tbh. xp

― enfuque (Matt P), Tuesday, January 18, 2011 9:54 PM

have you ever given a compliment?

"oh, thanks a lot, i appreciate that."

^^^ stock response after years of not taking compliments well at all.

By challenging the compliment on its own terms, or by contradicting it in some particular, just realize that you are also challenging the compliment giver's sincerity or else their judgement.

yeah and also what Matt P said. if you challenge them on it and they seem sincere then you know it's a sincere compliment. but if you point out why it's inaccurate and you can see them agreeing in their eyes, then you know they were just trying to lube up the ol' social.

Clothes compliments are the worst! I didn't design it so seems odd to say 'thank you' although obv that is what I should do. The last two days I've had compliments on items of clothing and got picked up on always saying 'oh god, it's soooo old, I don't even know why I'm wearing it'

haha reminds me of when this young skater dude said 'nice shirt' to me

although that was surely sarcastic, i hated the shirt myself

xpost to trayce

as an actor I tend to be skeptical of compliments after shows cuz sometimes people feel obligated to give them even if they don't believe em, but I say "thank you" regardless

i am starting off 2011 by trying to actually give all of the compliments i think, so when i like someone's shoes, i just say "hey i love your shoes" and i mean it. i also don't give compliments i don't mean 100%.

i like receiving compliments because i am clearly immodest and full of myself, but i wish more people would just be like "hey, thanks, i like {thing x that i am wearing/doing/whatever} too!"

part of the reason I had such a hard time finding a g/f for so long in the old days is because I didn't realize that when you thought they looked nice, that it was a good idea to say so instead of just assuming that was their job to look nice.

yeah, that's the problem when people always look nice

but most of the time when girls want my opinion on a dress I'm thinking to myself "it looks like a dress"

oh I am quick to compliment a dress....

but I IS GENUINE

well, I'm talking about before someone buys it or tries it on:)

today at the apple store i complimented the guy who worked there on his cowboy boots. i said, "hey, those boots are great" and he was like "yeah i'm from texas and sometimes my friends are like lol cowboy boots but i wear them anyway" and i told him that this is the way to live -- wear what makes you happy. and he agreed. and then we moved on.

another mistake people make about compliments is to assume that complimenting = flirting. sometimes i just want to share some positive feelingz, yknow.

otm

la lechera, i love your posts!

man, aimless is always right

hey, thanks!

"well your hair looks nice tonight"
'i have a boyfriend'
"uh...."

I wore my who watches the watchmen tshirt out one day running errands and random dude walks by and says "Great shirt"...I kind of love the random bonding over items of clothes between strangers.

I like bonding over stuff like that. usually it's my Slayer or Wu-Tang shirt that I get that for

aimless<3

if someone says "i have a boyfriend" when you say "your hair looks nice" that person is doing it wrong

also, compliments are not hugglez. good compliments are well chosen and suited to the recipient.

i got a metal dude nod from an employee at the liquor store emporium when i wore my agalloch shirt there. it made me happy for at least an hour!

"well your hair looks nice tonight"
'i have a boyfriend'

I'd say "cool, he does your hair? he does a good job!"

My ex made a tshirt with cafepress that has a pic of an envelope and a stone and says "post rock" under it (haw), he got soooo many compliments from the ladies at bars.

I've been hoping some day someone'd see my Home Video tshirt and go "omg I love those guys!" but no one has :(

cool shirt

I remember getting a compliment on my shoes in college and I was extra thankful because they were comfy $20 shoes that do all the things that shoes do but for only $20

trayce but when someone does it will be special

the narcoleptic guy at the Circle K usually chats with me when I come in with a rap shirt on. it's kinda fun...we had a brief chat about Wu Tang, he started spitting a verse.

"Just take the compliment" sounds a little like someone has an agenda behind their compliments though. i'd be tempted to reply "don't tell me what to do" tbh. xp

― enfuque (Matt P), Tuesday, January 18, 2011 9:54 PM

have you ever given a compliment?

― earnest goes to camp, ironic goes to ilm (pixel farmer), Tuesday, January 18, 2011 7:56 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

i guess i don't give many compliments! growing up my family (myself included) used them for nice points to make up for other shitty behavior, or if i didn't give enough of them i felt bad, so i have an aversion to giving/receiving them. that doesn't mean i won't give a compliment if i really want someone to know why i think they're awesome. lately im a little looser giving offhand sincere compliments to the handful of people i'm close to.

I like a nice compliment after sex, for sure

"you didn't sweat as much this time"

well fuck that that's a lazy-assed Tracy MacGrady effort then

just take the complement

i've become more comfortable with compliments as they've become increasingly rare, i guess.

there is a certain worry about how one will be taken giving them, tho, i guess. like i really would totally pay for/read an abbott autobiography (as posted elsewhere) but don't wanna seem pervy or something.

compliments i don't like receiving: last time i lost weight, i had a few different people tell me "you look better." i was polite and said "thank you" in return, but inside i was all "BETTER THAN WHAT???"

Great thread, everyone.

part of the reason I had such a hard time finding a g/f for so long in the old days is because I didn't realize that when you thought they looked nice, that it was a good idea to say so instead of just assuming that was their job to look nice.

― metal panda (San Te), Wednesday, January 19, 2011 4:01 AM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

You know, I'm actually going to try this. I just hope there is not a majority female version of this thread somewhere out there where a woman is saying "part of the reason I had such a hard time finding a b/f for so long in the old days is because I didn't realize that when you thought their penis looked flaccid, that it was a good idea to say so instead of just assuming it was their penis' job to look flaccid."

like i really would totally pay for/read an abbott autobiography (as posted elsewhere) but don't wanna seem pervy or something.

lolol I think until this moment I thought you were a woman. Or maybe you are a woman and I am being het-norm (that is my new abbrev for 'heterornormative'). I don't know. The thought that this meant pervisness did not occur to me fwiw.

I think the last time I construed a "compliment" as pervy was three or four years ago when some guy at a bus stop told me he had "accidentally" seen down my shirt, and loved it. And wanted to know if I would forgive him so God would not be mad at him. I said that was between him and God, and that I didn't need to be asked. He was really confrontational about it.

I would like to note that in 11th grade I developed a policy of saying "thank you," after my friend suggested I solve this problem by replying to any compliment with a loud, "Son of a bitch!" And I think that is the gracious way to do it! But it's hard when someone says something nice abt you that just doesn't align with your self image. When maybe it should?

that is the gracious way
that ="thank you" not ""son of a bitch" btw

I can assure you mookie isnt a lady Abb, I've met him!

How foolish of me to think only women could resist mookies!

lol

What if you feel the compliment is damning you with faint praise?

example?

I don't know, I was just feeling big-headed.

'quite pretty'
'not a bad singer'

I wore my who watches the watchmen tshirt out one day running errands and random dude walks by and says "Great shirt"...I kind of love the random bonding over items of clothes between strangers.

― VegemiteGrrrl, Wednesday, 19 January 2011 04:09 (59 minutes ago)

baltimore orioles hats in SF get this from me every time

everyone compliments my hair all the time

I always say "I made it myself"

What if you feel the compliment is damning you with faint praise?

"you're a smart/tough cookie!"

*bats eyelashes* *waits on train tracks to be rescued*

Oooh I am awful at compliments, I always deflect them. "Thats a lovely dress!" "oh haha this is so old and I didn't iron it".

WTF, me.

― Stargazey Pi (Trayce), Tuesday, January 18, 2011 7:46 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Your co-worker has a point, but also I understand the challenge in accepting compliments. Just realize that accepting a compliment does not equate to agreement in detail, or self-complacency in regard to one's desire to improve.

By challenging the compliment on its own terms, or by contradicting it in some particular, just realize that you are also challenging the compliment giver's sincerity or else their judgement. Socially speaking, this is not gracious or wise. Keep your own counsel and just smile and say thank you. Compliments are almost universally well-meant and offered on terms of friendship or admiration.

― Aimless, Tuesday, January 18, 2011 7:47 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

am totally trayce-like about all compliments. i view them as an opportunity to deflect or critique the credit i'm being (wrongly) given.

but aimless OTM. really need to acquire the skill of gracefully accepting praise.

I always contradict compliments. Not that I often hear them.

I used to do the whole "nahhh" thing, but I understand that the correct social etiquette is to say "thank you" and leave it at that.

Then again, I know someone who goes round complimenting people all the time in front of other people. It's charming at first, but once you get to know him it just starts sounding insincere and creepy.

Is it a challenge for anyone else to just say "thank you" and hold your tongue rather than point out why it's an inaccurate compliment?

here is a pro tip for y'all: as part of training yrself out of going 'haha i am so not, why are you saying nice things, what do you want out of me?', do not instead develop the reflex of insincere smile + raised eyebrows + rolling yr damn eyes. it turns out this is rude rather than lovably ambivalent. :/

It is weird that i am so socially awk about compliments because i am a big fan of giving them! Sometimes when I am trying to break a bad mood I do this ridiculous KIP thing where i force myself to think up a compliment for e.g. everyone in the same train carriage as me.

"you don't kowtow to the absurdly high levels of personal hygiene set by the cosmetics industry and insidiously promoted by the mass media"

btw did you know you can remember how to spell this kind of "compliment" with the mnemonic "I like compliments"?

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Wednesday, 19 January 2011 03:37 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Did you know, if you have this with your that, it makes that even better?"
"Oh, thank you, I like complements"

Sometimes when I am trying to break a bad mood I do this ridiculous KIP thing where i force myself to think up a compliment for e.g. everyone in the same train carriage as me.

This is blowing my mind. You, my friend, have already figured out how to live.

c sharp, do you actually deliver the compliments?

I'm a big fan of the "Thanks, I love this skirt, too!" response, because I fig it's a chance for me and the complimenter to share our joy in something. It's not about ME, it's about a thing that makes us both happy.

Some people think this is weird, though, as if I'm taking too much pride in the thing being complimented. Screw them, I always say.

i used this technique just today, chatting with an opposing counsel whom i've faced several times, most recently in a just-concluded litigation:

opposing cousnel: "i think you might be less dumb than you were last time."

me: "thanks. i think i might be less dumb than i was last time, too!"

in my experience with comments, you're either feeling weird because you're accepting praise from someone and you want to be self-effacing, or you're being self-effacing and feeling weird because you feel transparently so (you're asking for a cookie for taking a compliment or a cookie for being so humble - either way you're asking for a cookie). at least that's what goes on in my weird brain, so i just try to smile, take the compliment and move on

the compliment IS the cookie
what more do these crazy people want?

kkvgz: v v v rarely. complimenting strangers is hard to do without feeling like you're coming across as creepy. but occasionally if someone is wearing a really great outfit or whatever i might say something. If it's really really great.

(you're asking for a cookie for taking a compliment or a cookie for being so humble - either way you're asking for a cookie

yeah, this.

I dislike getting amorphous compliments that seem like the giver just wanted to say something "nice" -- this is why I try to make the comps I give be specific things I've noticed and really enjoyed about a person! And having that as a starting point makes me look harder for patterns/repetitions with people, which kicks off another 1,000 mental processes about behavior, reactions, emotional qualities.

I have a friend who would be normally pretty except her upper lip does a thing that makes her whole face beautiful. It's just...transformative and softening. I don't think she wants to be seen as "soft" or "winsome" -- she'd rather be the mean, tough one -- but her lip says something else....

What if you feel the compliment is damning you with faint praise?

― Alba, Tuesday, January 18, 2011 10:04 PM (Yesterday)

When I was a kid, even when we were on vacation, we'd go to church at whatever town we were in. One time I was in Sunday school in a different city with kids I didn't know. The lesson was on being nice, and the teacher asked us each to say something nice about the person to our right. The person to my right was a redheaded little girl in a ruffly pink dress and I knew nothing about her, not even her name. It really limited what I could say, so I said, "You keep yourself clean." She gave me this sneer like: seriously? I felt like such an ass.

We did something like that in middle school, where we got someones name out of a jar and had to write a compliment next to their name.

Everyone in the class gave each other a fairly generic compliment except my friend Ari, who was told he had big ears.

What if you feel the compliment is damning you with faint praise?

I just find it easier to say, 'thank you' then dwell on the aesthetics or motives behind a compliment and if you're gracious enough about a backhanded compliment, you still come out looking like less of a dick than the malicious complimenter.

abbott that's hilarious

laurel, i am having trouble feeling much sympathy for your winsome friend.

xp oh yeah, that's kinda the out from the compliment conundrum. if you can take the compliment really graciously you can really turn it into an opportunity to show what a classy motherfucker you truly are. look really heartfelt and say, "thank you so much for saying so" and smile beatifically.

Eh, no need to have any sympathy. Just an example of a really specific thing, altho a facial feature is far from the best compliment since it's not about who a person IS.

Weirds me out when people give you a compliment seemingly just bc they can't think of anything to say. I'll take it, but then it leaves you wondering if they really do "like those shoes" or if it was just the first thing they happened to notice, lol

I hate to say this, but I'm pretty sure that in most of the cases where someone gets annoyed with you for not taking a compliment, it's because they didn't really give a shit about complimenting you in the first place, and were just being nice or making conversation, and kind of resent that you're turning the whole thing into an issue where the validity of their compliment is actually being discussed.

And then they're mad because what they want to say is: "You know what? Fine. Yes, all your clothes are a freaking mess. I only said I liked them because I think you dress weird, and I thought maybe it was on purpose, so I was trying to be supportive and pretend to like it. Happy now?"

You think that's what's happening in most of the cases? Damn, dude.

FWIW the guy who told me "just take the compliment" wasn't the complimenter in the first place – he had overheard my boss say something nice to me which I then negated. SO I think what he was saying is "u mad doggie."

Yeah, I don't really think that's the care in most cases. Nabisco not OTM.

omg no nabisco must be trolling
you guys are way overthinking this

smile, say thank you, move on with your life

My worst compliment-giving ever, by the way: Around maybe third grade this kid in school was wearing a ratty old 70s rock t-shirt (Boston, I think?) that was slightly ripped-up and actually really cool-looking, and I said "I like your shirt," and he got super-pissed and was like "MAYBE NOT EVERYONE'S PARENTS CAN AFFORD TO BUY THEM FANCY NEW SHIRTS ALL THE TIME." And I don't think he believed me when I was like, really, I meant I actually think the shirt looks cool. :(

xpost -- I feel like that's what's happening in most of the cases when people get MAD! Most uses of "take the compliment" I hear aren't mad so much as shoulder-patting "oh, you, just take the damn compliment, you're good at stuff."

I am quite shy so for me giving out random compliments isn't a thing.if I give it, I mean it.

Also I don't like lying to people, which is why I'm bad at it, so I can't give false compliments often--ie if I don't think someone did a good job in a performance I don't say "good job" while passing, I find an excuse to slink away.

I only said I liked them because I think you dress weird, and I thought maybe it was on purpose, so I was trying to be supportive and pretend to like it.

I think this is kind of hilarious, tho – it's like when my parents would send ppl from church to come check on me or invite me to church or whatever. ANd they would then pretend to be really nice about everything they saw that they did not understand. "I see you are wearing...a halter top. It's...a nice color! A giant poster of Malcolm X. He was...a well-spoken man."

my sister is notorious for this. there is simply NO WAY you can compliment her. "this is some great pasta" will get you "well, the sauce came from a jar" and if she made the sauce herself she'll say "well i just followed some dumb recipe" ARRRRRRGH

i will often - especially with cooking - agree with the complimenter, because usually the things we're complimented on are truly NOT 100% our doing: but rather than say "hey, i didn't grow the tomatoes that constitute the majority of this sauce" or whatever you can say "yeah it IS good isn't it?" with a slight expression of wonderment, like how did a dolt like me manage it

i actually don't often literally say "thanks" - maybe ppl would like me to :/

you guys MY GOD who are these people who say things like "well i didn't grow the tomatoes, they're from a can"

it says so much more about them than it does about the person who likes the sauce

well that was an exaggeration but my sister will really go to almost those lengths to avoid taking credit

totally unrelated except that it's also an awkward social nicety: does anyone else feel awkward sometimes saying please when asking for something? like, i know what it's supposed to signal but whenever i say, "can you please do X" it sounds way more forceful and expectant than just saying, "hey, can you do X." maybe because after years of school i've identified the tone of please to mean, "i'm not asking you to do it, i'm telling you to do it" and i don't feel comfortable replicating that tone when asking for a favor. i say thank you all the time, and i've told my wife (who is convinced i'm impolite for not saying please a lot) that i'd just rather thank someone profusely than do the whole please thing upfront.

am i crazy?

Some people have a negative self-concept hardwired into themselves.

A friend of mine (theatre director) once went up to my friend D3an, who is an actor...the friend had directed D3an and seen him act and was also good friends with him, and one night he told him "you know you're a really good actor".

D3an replied by saying "shut up, what the fuck do you know", arguing hardcore with him, and eventually got angry and stormed off. Apparently he does things like that, especially when drinking.

xpost -- I feel like that's what's happening in most of the cases when people get MAD!

I still disagree -- when I compliment and it's deflected, demurred or argued with, I'm mad because the arguer is dissing my judgment.

xx-post

In short, yes.

OK not really but that does seem pretty strange to me Mordy.

i totally get where mordy's coming from. i might say "would you mind..." to stop it sounding too much like an order.

Yeah idk I have worked in customer service long enough in my life to hear people saying "thank you" with a tone that clearly means "fuck you," but I'm not going to stop saying "thank you" because those people abused it. Same with your experience with the world "please," maybe? It is totally possible to say it in a neutral, polite way, and I think hardly anyone interprets it as having this "I Command You" connotation to it. It is just a filler word of niceness.

I'm guilty of this and it's a bit rude. I can't even take a compliment when it comes to one of three of the greatest things I've pulled off:

Co-worker: "Oh, is this your daughter? She is very beautiful."
Me: "Thank you. Fortunately, she takes after her mother."

Oh I dunno, there's a big difference between what you could call "wry self-deprecation" and something like Tracer's sister or D3an the Actor.

am i crazy?

Overthinking, maybe. This is one of the things I like about the formality of French: in many situations, the adherence to form either implies or supercedes sincerity of feeling. I am quite familiar with your dilemma but I try to put a 'please' in there, regardless, as in, "Hey could you do X for me? Please," especially where the 'please' is seen (heard?) as a mere formality but nonetheless the correct gesture.

"wry self deprecation" can be annoying too imo

D3an the actor needs to lay off the sauce, perhaps? :) But someone else can tell him...

pp, i get that compliment (about my daughter) all the time. i used to respond the same way you do. now, i just smile and say "thank you."

Me: "Thank you. Fortunately, she takes after her mother."

You've just deflected the compliment instead of negating it, you sly man you.

"wry self deprecation" can be annoying too imo

If it becomes a schtick, yeah, but it's awfully welcome when the ice needs to be broken and people are uneasy.

In my exp it is potentially unbecoming to be too happy to receive a compliment -- it's a little bit tall-poppy to be eager to have people say nice things abt you, you should probably be sort of gruff and modest and just let the moment pass as quietly as possible so as not to draw YET MORE attention to yrself by protesting. (NB: Not that everyone does this in practice, but in my mind an ideal for a certain mindset.)

Especially for MEN, I've noticed. If a man of, say, my dad's generation or older is complimented on anything, it makes a deep impression if they really say "Thank you!" and seem pleased because that strikes me as v v unusual, but I am just happy if they, like, explain the complimented thing and want you to share their enthusiasm but don't specif say thanks.

You know what the trick is to accepting compliments in a more graceful fashion? Giving them more frequently.

A person is also allowed to show little outward response to a compliment and yet cherish it in their hearts. If a bestower really means to be simply complimentary and bring something nice into their subject's day, they should give the gift of not demanding any particular response.

The compliment, once it leaves the giver's mouth, is now the property of the recipient. They can do whatever they want with it.

good lord laurel you have so many RULES ;)

i guess i don't really care if i come off as overly happy to people
i'm 35 years old and it's not the 90s anymore

None of them are rules, really, but when you start micro-examining something that comes naturally for a lot of people, there are an infinite number of variations on the situation that could apply!!

I mean if everyone could give and take compliments freely and naturally and with total comfort, we wouldn't be having this thread!

You know, sometimes you want to compliment someone who you know won't respond effusively, if at all, because they're shy or you know they're self-effacing or w/e and sometimes it's even more thoughtful to say up front that you don't expect any reaction, it's no big deal, w/e, but you just wanted them to know that you noticed {insert compliment here}.

Xxxpost Compliments generally make me light up. Mostly cuz I am dumbfounded that people think something I did was of worth, but you know it's a good feeling.

Dissecting intent can have you convinced people are not being genuine or only half serious in almost any case, so I try not to do it anymore. My life isn't ruined if a girl tells me I smell nice and she secretly thinks I smell like an onion ring...

like when my student sent me an email and at the bottom wrote "ps i noticed your haircut it look pretty"

that was the last time i got my hair cut and it was like 6 mo ago and i thought about it today, since i am going to get my hair cut!

The compliment, once it leaves the giver's mouth, is now the property of the recipient. They can do whatever they want with it.

Like any gift.

And demurring/deflecting is giving the gift a quick look and dumping it in the trash can. In front of the person who gave it.

totally unrelated except that it's also an awkward social nicety: does anyone else feel awkward sometimes saying please when asking for something? like, i know what it's supposed to signal but whenever i say, "can you please do X" it sounds way more forceful and expectant than just saying, "hey, can you do X."

I totally get this. I think about it all the time when writing e-mails at work.

this thread hasn't touched on the superannoying trait of using a demurral to fish for more compliments
that's the worst

i guess i don't really care if i come off as overly happy to people
i'm 35 years old and it's not the 90s anymore

wait was i supposed to seem overly happy in the 90s? oops

no you were supposed to be appropriately gloomy/morose/glum/"modest", like me and everyone else

"oh, i'm so ugly. no one can ever love me"
"no, you're beautiful."
"no i'm not. i'm hideous"
"jesus, just take the compliment and stop fishing"

ok, you're hideous
now what

oh man Mordy that exact conversation is why I do not miss being in high school gym class with a bunch of high school girls trying to out-ugly/out-fish each other every time they change clothes.

see also: "fat-talking"

i'm so fat
no i'm fatter
i'm uglier
i'm the ugliest
no you're not I AM
etc until someone gives in and admits yeah i guess you are the fattest and the ugliest

that ^^ has nothing to do with compliments though, not really

OTOH my fear of being perceived as "fishing" has maybe stopped me from airing insecurities that might be helpful to me to air. OTOOH that is why i have a therapist.

are all y'all who are writing "I can't draw" after posting an intricately detailed little nemo recreation fishing for compliments or are genuinely under the delusion that you can't draw?

psh. i know i'm a talented artist

http://i52.tinypic.com/r7kmeg.png

La Lechera your post really made me smile. i liked it so much i made it my new display name!

maybe you will like the art i made
it is a tampon spaceship and, frankly, i think it's pretty good

http://i51.tinypic.com/23joide.jpg

rad!

thanks
i'm glad you like it

Whoa, I love tampon spaceship!

I prefer them to the launching "pads," myself.

worst sex ed diagram ever

xxxpost

i think that may be a pad that the tampon ship is stuck to, but i don't remember

grab your wings and fly

This thread as an advice column: A+.

This thread as a pic thread: priceless

this thread has taken a fortuitous turn!

And demurring/deflecting is giving the gift a quick look and dumping it in the trash can. In front of the person who gave it.

No it isnt. Its more like saying "Oh no, really, I dont deserve a gift" or "please, you didnt need to give me a gift!".

Also I meant it when i said I cant draw! I can't! I wasnt fishing for anything! That snail thing's goodness rests entirely on some badly-scrawled facial expressions!

^^^^^^ trying to look humble

if there is goodness, you deserve a compliment
suck it up and "just take the compliment"

upon reflection, my favorite part of tampon spaceship is the dangly strings

Just tried to draw a hand flipping the bird in mspaint, gave up when I realised the lol was too minor to stuff round with uploading jpg.

http://canvaspaint.org/bb889.png

try canvaspaint.org

http://canvaspaint.org/97a2.png

(yes, I have 3 fingers and a deformed hand)

sometimes a compliment is a cue to start a conversation. "hey, nice shoes" sounds less weird than "hey, i notice you're wearing some shoes in a style i approve of, would you like to discuss shoes and perhaps fashion/style in general?"

"hello I am interested in shoes"

could have used more 'compliments':

http://slice.seriouseats.com/assets_c/2011/01/20110112-dominos-report-133069.html

Hahaha! Trayce you made me lol and for that I compliment u.

:D

arrest me for tricale submission!

The Art of the Compliment