jjjusten gettin' hitched thread: where i ask questions, share insights, and do my best not to panic or fuck this up

sorry for the self-indulgence, but shit dude this is complicated and i just realized i am under the 4 month to go point

btw cake cutting fees can lick my nuts.

also somebody let me know if this seems like a sane list of places to register at: macys, target, bed bath AND BEYOND

cake cutting fees?

Just ask Dan to do it with his mighty sword.

eh don't panic after eight years of marriage you'll realize all those fees weren't really worth it.

I might add Amazon to that registry list. We ended up asking for money instead, because we had a dinky apartment and wanted to move. Got enough for a security deposit and a mover.

yeah so for the uninitiated, most places will charge you a cake cutting fee if you bring in yer wedding cake from elsewhere to kinda big up their preferred vendor. we have a local bakery that is 100+ years old and the bomb that is run by a totally awes dude that i have talked to a bunch about this, so i figured whatever on the cake cutting fee, but then a dude i know in the wedding industry informed me that the cake cutting fee is per knifestroke, so that $3 fee is actually at least $390 if all our guests show up. fuuuuuuck off

xpost oh shit i never even thought of amazon

can you avoid cake cutting fees if you replace the cake with an asterix style fondue cauldron?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_c-TD6UFd2PU/SRCd0tz8-_I/AAAAAAAAAIE/IVwIknoDceY/s320/Asteric+Cheese+fondue.gif

yeah so btw, you know how every wedding nowadays has cupcakes? not in fact blatant hipsterism, its thx to bullshit cake cutting fees. (themoreyouknow.jpg)

a friend of mine had a sundae bar instead of cake. i imagine they'd charge you a scoop fee.

i shouldnt make this sound so aggro, most of this has gone really smoothly and well under budget, its just all these weirdo nickel and dime things that make me go all hulk when i hear about them

like really? yer going to charge me for the chairs and then seperately for the stupid doily things that go on them? NO ONE IS GOING TO RENT YOUR CRAPPY DENTED STAINED CHAIRS ON THEIR OWN

My mother-in-law made and cut our cake. It was awesome.

Had a friend do a sundae bar too. It was a nice change.

sneak around it by getting pie instead

wtf, cake corkage

Cakeage

yw

hey despite what people tell you, registering is not actually fun but mostly sucks and makes yer brain hurt

spent hours doing it yesterday at macys and when we finished the consultant looked over our registry and told us that generally you need twice as many registered items as guests (which would be 260!) and i asked her how we did and she told me that we had 47. also we apparently didnt have anything for over $100 which is a no no i guess.

when she said "oh you havent picked out your fine china yet" i did my level best not to actually laugh openly

fuck it, just do what you want

^ this is my general wedding advice across the board though

there's so much bullshit stuff you "have to do" for weddings that you don't actually have to do

i mean, basically the consultant is trying to tell you need to register for crap you don't even want, because ... ? because of math?

Fuck cutting a cake, just have guests dig in with their hands like zombies at a funeral.

also we apparently didnt have anything for over $100 which is a no no i guess.

I think this probably benefits Macy's more than you or your guests.

Cake Cutting Fee?

(rhetorical, there)

is henry going to be the ringbearer y/n

n because i dont really want to have to delay the wedding while he passes the ring

i of course mean "passes" in the biblical sense there

btw dude did u get the save the date card? we havent gotten any of them back so i am assuming my mailman just threw them away

i thought the total # of things was weird too, but then i realized a) bridal showers and b) im a slack asshole so normally im the dude stuck buying from the registry when all that is left is like a britta cartridge refill and a $500 set of champagne flutes so i kinda get that

as for the $$$$ stuff i checked w/some other married folks and apparently thats pretty much the category for the "i havent given you a gift since birth" rich distant relatives plus we're old people now so i guess people want to give you nice stuff and not like a non stick spatula (although dont think that isnt on that list dudes)

btw dude did u get the save the date card? we havent gotten any of them back so i am assuming my mailman just threw them away

wait i'm supposed to send it back?

i am terrible at this sort of thing btw

when she said "oh you havent picked out your fine china yet" i did my level best not to actually laugh openly

― O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, January 26, 2011 12:02 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark

Yeah, I didn't register for china or crystal or any of that crap.

I don't know if this is a regional thing but we hardly got anything off the registry lists. Almost ever single guest gave cash.

no no you dont need to send it back, i meant that i assumed i fucking blew most of the addresses so a bunch of them would get returned, you are in the clear

the main problem i had wrt china and crystal is that its like 99% super ugly

the main problem i had wrt china and crystal is that its like 99% never used.

lol x-post yep and also I honestly couldn't think of when I'd ever use it

I have a set of awesome martini glasses that someone gave me as a shower gift that are some of the coolest glasses I've ever seen that I occasionally use to drink soda out of because otherwise they'd still be in the box.

hahaha like 90% of our successful registering were like oxo kitchen gadgets and glasses appropriate to the drinking of booze. they did have crystal shot glasses which i will not lie were kinda hilariously tempting but i was reminded that i am to minimize my prank instinct wrt wedding registry

I don't know if this is a regional thing but we hardly got anything off the registry lists. Almost ever single guest gave cash.

― ‎\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, January 26, 2011 11:20 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

"Every single guy there was either named Petey or Pauly. All their daughters were named Marie."

LOL Well, I am from Long Island but afaik there were no actual mobsters there. At least I don't think there were . . .

Oxo kitchen gadgets are great.

we got very little cash from our guests. I've had friends that got like $20000. WTF.

fuck it, just do what you want

^ this is my general wedding advice across the board though

― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 26 January 2011 17:07 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^this (though also: what your future spouse wants)
We messed around a bit with plans to keep other people happy and there wasn't really any point. Do what feels right.

Fuck a cakeage charge - never heard of such a thing.

Try to put all the organisational crap out of you mind just before and during the wedding & you'll enjoy it more. Don't sweat the little hassles that are bound to crop up (wish I'd taken this advice myself).

well obv. that's a collective "you"

next time I get married I am gonna pull that cliche groom thing and just "cool, whatever, where and when do I show up". there will be bbq, though.

x-post - Yeah. I don't think it was quite $20,000 but it wasn't that far off. I won't lie, it was pretty great.

What n/a and onimo said is totally right but not always the easiest thing to do depending on how much family is involved in the planning and what kind of family you have.

also, quincie otm

christ we got like $1500.

btw I posted an a wedding website that n/a's wife also posted on (no, not the knot) only I didn't realize it was her until she posted pictures and I was like - oh hey, they look familiar! small internet world.

We didn't have a wedding list. We'd lived together in a furnished house for a couple of years and didn't really *need* anything - we just asked people to get whatever they wanted but to check in with my wife's sister, who was keeping track, to make sure we didn't get doublers.

That said, I think wedding lists are really handy when buying for other people and I'm sure some people were annoyed we didn't have one.

all the weddings i've been to lately have been pretty bro'd out affairs, totally sweet.

lol my wife got so much info from that site

Totally. It was actually a pretty good resource.

we get to bring in our own alcohol for the wedding (which far outweighs the stupid cake charge so i cant bitch too much about that i guess) and i am srsly boggling at how much beer to buy. also this means like everyone else who does this, i am going to end up with lots of unwanted bottles of leftover wine

gf's brother & his fiancee just canceled all their local wedding plans, now getting married on a beach in mexico. seems like a good idea imo.

i dunno get a couple 30bricks, should be fine

like do i get 4 kegs or

i just dont know.

also after watching people who arent good at hard alcohol fuck up a bunch of weddings recently, i think im going to do free booze for the cocktail hour and then cut it off and go to free beer and wine for the rest of the night.

yeah that's smart. free hard liquor is a disaster in waiting

i think there might be some secret stashes of scotch and canned black label in the grooms room for those *in the know*

if you get bottles, you can drink it later if there are leftovers

fluffy bear should invent a jjj wedding drink btw

If I ever get married I'm registering at a record shop. (And if the other half doesn't agree then we clearly weren't meant for each other.)

yeah that's smart. free hard liquor is a disaster in waiting

^^^^^ can vouch for this after six hours of open bar at my brother's wedding. Fucking fiasco. Also the bar tab was unreal. Like, could buy a good new car with it level of unreal.

beer & wine plus open cocktail hour sounds good imho

we get to bring in our own alcohol for the wedding (which far outweighs the stupid cake charge so i cant bitch too much about that i guess) and i am srsly boggling at how much beer to buy. also this means like everyone else who does this, i am going to end up with lots of unwanted bottles of leftover wine

― O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 26 January 2011 12:43 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Last wedding I was out we ran out and had to send someone for supplies. It was all good and best man and a few of us organised it without the couple noticing or an interruption in supply.

For the 150 person wedding I catered (featuring rugby playing friends of the groom), three casks of beer did us. Don't remember how much wine there was to start with but I ended up going home with a half case as did a number of other people. They'd brought the wine specially from France for that one. Most other weddings have used an off license with a buyback scheme for unopened bottles/cases, might want to look into this.

Top tip - co-opt good friends to take on little responsibilities through the day; hanging onto cheques/cash for band/flowers/whatever, monitoring the booze supply, timekeeping, etc.

Don't buy too much champaign - that was the mistake we made. Better to buy too much wine or beer that you can enjoy afterwards.

i can totally enjoy champagne afterwards

My experience has been that hard liquor is best reserved to a single instance, like the champagne. Often it's been as a a welcome drink to the reception venue whilst everyone is assembling/milling around. (Pimms, made properly, gin and elderflower have been some notable good ones)

Champagne/Fizz for toasting I suppose, but I am supremely ambivalent towards fizzy wine.

trying to make a kitchenaid mixer color poll but i can't find a stupid labeled nonflash color chart anywhere on the web. theres like 50 fucking colors the thing comes in also i dont understand mixers so i am confused

xpost yeah i hate champagne/sparkly shit so i am doing my best to avoid but i know that isnt going to fly

also it would be bad form to start the speech with "if you clink your glasses in an attempt to make us kiss i will come over to your table and slap you" i suppose

of course we got pretty much everything off our registry...most of which was completely useless shit. I remember registering and going around with that gun in BBB and putting shit on there at random without my wife knowing..."why are there toenail clippers on the registry?"

also it would be bad form to start the speech with "if you clink your glasses in an attempt to make us kiss i will come over to your table and slap you" i suppose

― O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, January 26, 2011 12:03 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

fair warning i'm actually paying a child to come with me to do nothing but clink a glass

xpost yeah i hate champagne/sparkly shit so i am doing my best to avoid but i know that isnt going to fly

― O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 26 January 2011 13:02 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

When my dad remarried he had me, as best man, make sure the caterers supplied him with red wine for toasting and other champagne based moments.

Add some silver tankards/flutes/drinking horns/humorous hats with cann holders and straws to the registry and break them out on the top table. Then you can toast with whatever you desire.

fuck it, just do what you want

^ this is my general wedding advice across the board though

― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, January 26, 2011 11:07 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

man cake cutting fees? crazy....we did ours Jax in northeast and they didn't do that bullshit

Only two things of real importance:

1) good photographers, because you won't remember a thing

2) good food, because it's the only thing the guests will remember

The rest kind of works itself out, and is more or less inconsequential to the shindig and the ensuing years.

we had friends be our photographers. FREE!

As long as they're good! Otherwise, you lock yourself into a disaster. I know folks who went the friends/family route with a photographer and ended up with let's say unprofessional results. But it's also worked out for people I know, so vet your friend and family photographers well!

fortunate thing is that i have a friend who is a super pro wedding photog so that is taken care of already - not free btw, but less than standard charge.

I am so, so sorry to hear that you have fallen into the clutches of the wedding industry. Protect your jugular. They know precisely where it is located and aim to tap it.

yeah we had two friends that are great photogs...got some good ones.

re: registry - I have fine china and it doesn't get used much (although my 8 year old daughter is always trying to make me get it out). If there's one thing I think you can never have too many of, it's sheets and towels. So you can always add a few more of those to your registry at Macy's or Target or whatever. Anyway, Macy's, Target and Bed/Bath/Whatever - that should be plenty of places.

as for cake cutting fees, it sucks. BUT my aunt got stuck being the cake cutter at my uncle's wedding and memorably wound up with frosting in her eyebrows, so it might be worth it to not ask someone to do this "honor" for you. Unless you hate them.

Seconded on the towels and sheets. High-end kitchen equipment (Kitchen-Aid Mixer, Cuisinart, good knives, good pots and pans . . . ) is a good way to go.

And then cash.

As for the bring your own, I think the LIMITED open bar, followed by beer and wine, is the best for all involved. We had an open bar for the entire time, and we had other friends who had an open bar for the entire time, and it always ends up in casualties of the worst kind.

As for HOW MUCH, I think you can pretty easily go through the list of invitees, estimate a number of drinks, multiply that by 1.25 (b/c the wedding is going to be AWESOME, and who doesn't get drunk at AWESOME weddings?), and there's your estimated drink purchases.

Seriously, though: CASH. RULES. ESPECIALLY. AT. MARRIAGES., dog.

thirded on linens etc. kitchen things are nice too, but other random things are useless....like our china, we used it once.

also, if you don't register I guarantee that you'll end up with lots of useless family "heirlooms".

heres grandmas dildo

even after we registered at least 5 people dropped off grandma dildos on the gift table iirc

digging the idea of beer in bottles - maybe get a keg of domestic whatever and then a boatload of local stuff that i can happily drink into the future.

yeah part of the registry debacle is that were all growed up so we have a set of decent knives etc. def throwing the decent pots and pans stuff in there - thinking we'll reg for like calphalon stainless steel or something of the sort. K is thinking one of her $$$ ones will be some fancy frenchy dutch oven that i have already forgotten the name of.

another bonus is that not only is there an associated local lizuor store that'll do buy back of unopened wine etc, but they will actually deliver re-ups until 10 apparently?

le creuset, dogg

^^^ agreed.

Off topic, but ENBB is married (or has been married at some point)? I need to pay much better ilx attention.

Kind of glad I bailed on the whole marriage thing before actually getting married, but... keep track of stuff! I know wedding magazines do checklists and all that crap and some wedding locations are good about providing that sort of thing, but Google docs is your friend, imo.

if you mean a le creuset dutch oven then i enthusiastically endorse, they are great, incredibly versatile & practically indestructible. i have one and it is the only cookware i own that i really care about.

i would love to put a set of all-clads on my hypothetical registry but then again i don't know a lot of millionaires

I'm performing friends' wedding ceremony in October (held at the Rahr Brewery!). Totes nervous - I've only been to two weddings in my life and they were both pretty religious.

Upside, I don't have to be involved in planning anything, since I'm the minister rather than best man/etc..

what, no sermon?

I'm pretty much lost after Dearly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Today

Don't forget to yell "Play ball!" after the ending.

milo, please make sure Sexual Chocolate is lined up to go on right after you.

Don't forget to yell "Play ball!" after the ending.

Genuwine lols.

Our le creuset gets a fair amount of use - it is a wonderful cooking tool.

le creuset, dogg

― ullr saves (gbx), Wednesday, 26 January 2011 15:48 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Although I love my le creuset, I am aghast at the prices here so I settled for a Lodge Logic which doesn't have as pleasing a profile, too much of a radius IMO, but 1/3rd the price.

If you are looking for fancy china or cookware. I love Ittala stuff

http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/finnstyle_2141_86479636
http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/finnstyle_2143_159770805
http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/finnstyle_2143_43161501
http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/finnstyle_2143_62889356

We put some relatively posh (i.e. not Argos/Wilco's) china on our list, because we were kids and had nothing. It's plain/funky not fancy china or anything but is literally the only set in our bunch of mismatched stuff from Ikea/cheapo shops that hasn't chipped and we've probably had it the longest. So, worth a thought. Def go for the nice pots and pans too, that shit can get expensive if you buy it all yourself.

I wonder how many households feature gorgeous but unused LC pots and pans? They do look nice sitting around, though.

We have one, and we use that one, albeit not a ton.

Our All Clads get the shit used out of them.

milo: i lucked out doing my friends' wedding cuz they wrote everything for me

Bone china is really strong, in fact -- not just for grandma's tea parties anymore.

yeah its that le creuset deal

oh and also i think the stuff we were looking at was the all clad stuff, not calphalon, but i am honestly pretty sheelshocked so nothing i report can be trusted

i just cant fathom ever using china or real deal silverware for uh anything - we did do place settings that were cool, they just werent china

what if the queen invites herself round for tea?

It's fine, whatevs! Bone china can be a really good deal, because you could still have it 15 years later after your other dishes are all broken and chipped. But otoh no one wants to have the same dishes for 15 years so w/e!

she can eat her lutefisk off paper plates like everyone else xp

i know you guys were all super excited about this so:

KitchenAid Mixer Color Choices

calphalon or all-clad pots, all good, le creuset stuff also good

DO NOT do what I did and let anyone (ahem, my husband) talk you into stuff with copper bottoms. Sure, it cooks nicely, but you will have to hand wash and polish those damn things into eternity and it's just not worth it.

yeah a nice dude in the cooking dept warned us off of those

All Clad has a factory seconds site! All of mine are seconds and they are awesome and I have no idea why they ended up in the seconds category.

Where was that guy in 1995, I ask you. Could have saved me a WORLD of annoyance!!!

One thing that I do love having; a set of glass bowls that nest - I think we got them at Williams-Sonoma years ago and they are GREAT, super useful, fit in the dishwasher. I broke one of the tiny ones, but otherwise they last forever.

I like my melamine set of 3 mixing bowls, too; you can't put them in the microwave, but otherwise they are great.

(Note: I like to bake a lot and use these bowls a LOT. You might not want so many...)

i think he was probably about ten so he might not have had his culinary game face on yet xpost

No excuse for not time-traveling to 1995 to warn me. I don't forgive that copper bottom nonsense easily.

The Culinary Institute of America cookware is pretty good, and apparently not as expensive as All-Clad. I got a set as a gift years ago and even I have been unable to destroy it, which is a glowing recommendation.

Protip for Ed and others: go to Marshall's and in the kitchen department you can find Le Creuset cookware for around $50. Made a foray to the Mall of America with a friend and she scored two of them.

I love Marshall's and TJ's for that shit. Le Creuset, expensive stovetop espresso pots, utensils, bakeware, measuring cups, serving trays...

Can I just rep here for Lodge enameled cast iron -- I can't imagine Le Creuset being better, and it's a damn sight cheaper. It is insanely heavy, though.

I have a Lodge pre-seasoned cast iron frying pan. Love it!

Will rep for:

Calphalon Tri-Ply <3 <3
Le Creuset french oven casserole pot thingy
Lodge cast iron skillet, dutch oven

Appliances are always good. Got a great Cuisinart food processor when I got married that I use all the time. But if you're already established grownup people, maybe not necessary.

Cosign sheets and towels: always nice to have good ones and they're rarely something you deliberately buy for yourself

I buy them for myself as often as possible, you can never have too many clean white towels!

I'm lazy, lol, I use them til they collapse.

Also,

https://www.slapchop.com/images/slapchop-com/c85b7ac7-86cb-4420-b40e-5c4034d24504.jpg

Flowbee!

Could have saved me a WORLD of annoyance!!!
Aw, hell, I have copper-bottomed pots and I never bother to polish 'em. They still work.

Calphalon tri-ply is copper, they just go mottley colors and look nice and beatup and used after a while, I kind of like it. They look great when polished if you can be assed doing that all the time...can go either way imo

xpost to Kate78, sure, but you're not married to a crazy person!

(uh, that I know of)

Back to wedding suggestions:

We got a "day of" wedding coordinator, who handled the gathering of gifts, the coordination of the vendors, and all of the other crap. She was relatively inexpensive, and absolutely worth every penny. My wife's flowers were kept in a non-refrigerated van on the way to the ceremony, and were less than what we paid for them, and our coordinator ran interference so amazingly, it was amazing. Just to have a person there who we knew was totally on our side, that was not a guest, and that was always there to make sure things were where they needed to be, but stayed the hell out of the way.

And our wedding was full of folks who were trying to get in the way. See comment above re: open bar.

Other than that, if you're planning on doing a honeymoon immediately after the wedding, take a day between the wedding and the honeymoon. Give yourself a chance to decompress. And have married sex. WOO!

Our honeymoon plans are 2 days at the house on the rock and a week at the cabin w/dog. Low stress is key.

We are also going to stay one night at tge fabulous don q inn, which has to be seen to be believed. We will either be staying in the northern lights igloo suite or the moonbase alpha suite. Link to follow.

HOLY SHIT HOUSE ON THE ROCK BEST HONEYMOON EVER. have you been before?

http://www.donqinn.net/

No I've wanted to get to Hotr forever but lol small business owner vacation time

I'm so fucking excited about it that I can barely contain myself tbh

I just wanted to say that you know too many lawyers not to pick at least a few totally extravagant lol ducats items for your registry. Like, you should register for a Lexus.

I think Jeff and Jenny of CHILX stayed at the Don Q inn.

I would like to go back to HOTR someday.

zomg jjjusten HOUSE ON THE ROCK are you shitting me? Was obsessed with Neil Gaiman's "American Gods" for years and I seriously nearly threw a parade when I found out that House on The Rock was a real actual place. Like finding out that there really is a Santa's Workshop. You are going to have the best honeymoon EVAR

- def endorse putting expensive kitchen gadgetry on yr registry; i would never have owned a food processor otherwise, and i use it A LOT.
- be prepared to still receive stupid fucking useless thoughtless ugly-ass gifts, no matter how many registry items you have, no matter how wide a price range you cover. we got some fucking terrible stuff.
- def have at least one or two trustworthy ppl to manage EVERYTHING on your actual WD, it is so easy to get stressed out and mixed up and not end up enjoying it.
- really appreciate the day for what it is: sounds obvious, but it can be really overwhelming. the thing is that it's this really special (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime moment when all the ppl you care about and probably some you don't all get to celebrate how awesome it is to find the love of your life

As long as they're good! Otherwise, you lock yourself into a disaster. I know folks who went the friends/family route with a photographer and ended up with let's say unprofessional results.

Yes! Sit down before the wedding and think and tell them which photographs you want. I don't have a single photo with both of my parents in it! I don't have a photo of me with my bridesmaids! My flower girl might as well not have been there! Because he was there as a guest as well (he's a member of my husband's family), he got more into taking family snaps and forgot what we were paying him for and I was so busy just being all bridely that I didn't think to chivvy him along to do what he was meant to. First huge row of married life was me insisting we didn't pay him because he didn't act as a wedding photographer.

We was fortunate, the 'official' guy was inexpensive and quick (had the album done for the evening do), and also a number of family members also are (or were) professionals (one runs a camera shop in Shields)

relevant lifestyle story from local paper: http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/weddings/articles/2011/01/27/why_do_so_many_brides_register_for_the_same_wedding_gifts_their_mothers_did/

Put a Smoker on the registry.

good call

i would never have owned a food processor otherwise

Ooh, add stand mixer to the list, too. Very useful.

Second the smoker, if you have room and love meat.

Plus if you get one of those little "bullet" smokers, you don't really need that much room. Smokey meatses gooooood

Ask for a canoe. You may not get one, but if you do... hey! A canoe!

dude he lives in MN, i'm pretty sure he'll be arriving to the ceremony by canoe

once played at a mpls friend's wedding in the boundary waters...actually had to canoe + portage to the reception site (incl. PA equip).

still trying to figure out how to step ball change in snowshoes for the first dance tbh

whoa jordan that is nutso

so...am i allowed to register a surround sound system to replace the one that esploded thx to power surge this summer or is that weird

do what u feel

just know that i will not be getting you that

Dude I used to work with registered for a bunch of video games.

yay macys lost our entire registry O_o

also peeps at bed bath and beyond were like the most a#1 customer service i have ever ever had, but that store is totally bizarre to me. so much tiny stuff that does unknown things with food!

also trying to figure out a classy way of saying will accept cash, because hey, i will accept it. old people seem to see this as a gauche wedding nono tho?

my bros from HS got me a surround sound receiver + speakers, so it's cool.

i think some ppl will give you cash or checks, we got a fair amount, without specifically saying anything about it...esp most ppl that are married know that it's always nice to get some scrilla

wrt stereo: i think you should def register for at least one "dude" toy type thing like surround sound or ps3 or something, i think some of your friends would like to get something they think is more perceived as "for you" as a lot of the kitchen stuff and bath stuff and etc etc isn't the most dude stuff

The last wedding I went to in the Twin Cities had its reception at a Northeast VFW and the bride had to do the DOLLAR DANCE. <----Polish/'Bohunk' (bride's family's self-description) immigrant tradition apparently.

yeah dollar dances are pretty common, i think we did one i honestly can't remember for sure

also trying to figure out a classy way of saying will accept cash

There is no way to do this. People will give you cash or they won't.

People generally will; no need to mention it. If nothing else, it saves people from trying to figure out what to buy!

Gah, suzy, I HATE dollar dances... something about that tradition makes me cringe.

tell me about dollar dances...

You give the bride money to dance with her. Sometimes you pin the $$$ directly on her dress.

also trying to figure out a classy way of saying will accept cash

Have a stripper pass among the guests. Prime her g-string with a few twenties from the get-go to put people the proper giving mood.

Or just say fuck it and set up one of those "money trees" on the gift table.

xpost!

when i was making our wedding invites my mother-in-law told it would be 'gauche' to include where our registry was (target)... i was like, 'so how are ppl supposed to know where it is??'.

apparently, by 'word of mouth'.

Being crass or gauche are very gentrified sins.

Ha I chose not to be "gauche" and didn't mention anything about registries, "hey we like $USD," whatever, except for to ppl who asked me up front. And we didn't get hardly any gifts. OTOH the ppl close to us basically helped out by doing dift parts of the wedding (photography, cake, hosting, costumes) so it's not like no generosity happened.

K's parents are the sweetest peeps ever and k is a solid rock of kickass wedding planning, which is why tonights total clusterfuck meltdown meetup indicates that weddings bring out the emotional crazy in everybody o_o

Protip: if people want to pay for shit, it is easiest to just say OK

Ugh to clarify everything is cool and there were hugs all around afterwards, but yeesh, lotta drama for a night that was just supposed to be picking out what food we wanted at the caterers tasting.

Also pls to clarify - traditionally grooms side pays for booze right? There is confusion in the ranks about this.

i did everything i thought possible to keep our wedding super simple and stress free and it all just turned out to be unavoidable. one thing i learned: it's not YOUR day, it's everyone else's apparently.

Protip: if people want to pay for shit, it is easiest to just say OK

omg yes, esp. if you've already picked it and they can't change it

also I don't know what the groom's side traditionally pays for because we paid for most of it ourselves, inc. booze

it's usually rehearsal dinner and booze.

First wedding gift showed up today o_O

Well k's patents are set on buying the booze so I am following my own Protip and stfuing

do k's parents know your friends?

Hahahahahaha yeah that is a good point

Pretty sure my parents paid for booze, but I don't know if that was tradition so much as they have a lot of $$$ and A's parents hardly have any.

Sorry about the wedding stress; it's pretty common and really will pass!

Also - yes, if people are offering to pay for wedding stuff, just smile and say, "thank you so much."

We got married at 10am thus dodging the booze completely. Then we invited just our friends out to our local watering hole for drinks and dinner that night, and the relatives and forced invites didn't know about it. Worked great.

oh shit, opened first wedding present and we has a kitchenaid tilttop mixer bitches!

that sentence is so much less HARD than i want it to be

thx out of state relatives of k that i dont know

Oh hey jjj. Not sure why I haven't read this thread yet. Gettin' married in September!

oh shit, opened first wedding present and we has a kitchenaid tilttop mixer bitches!

What colour?

Get baking

Yeah, what color? Are you making dough as we speak?

Make a giant batch of cookies!!!!

Pretty sure it's cobalt blue - it got shipped to k's parents house and I have been too busy being lazy and drinking working hard on planning this wedding to go pick it up.

Also congrats jaymc!

i have had all the wedding ckaes

whoa update the xls

well done jaymc!

like honestly a 12 hour sugar headcrush - who eats 26 different types of frosting in a single sitting and then tops it off with 8 different types of cake - it was madness.

officiant we hired is kinda dope - freaked me out by mentioning that she got her degree in metaphysics and also did astrology on the side which made me kinda creep towards the nearest exit, but ended up being sharp as hell and actually attentive and able to creep into what seemed like godtown (to keep the elderly happy) w/o actually doing so and making me feel like i was pulling some sort of atheist sham on the jesus peeps in the crowd. plus we both know some peeps in common from some old school punk bands so i think she is a rocker turned spiritualist instead of a hippie turned new age hippie.

"you may now mosh with the bride"

also wtf at all those cake/frosting choices; we just went to the hotel, who had a relationship with a reputable baker, and picked 3 flavor combos we liked from a list, then ate those and said "can you make a cake where each tier is one of these?"

RIP your teeth/ability to produce insulin

dude you will be happy when you get to eat our awes custom designed nitro burning cake.

cake better have racing stripes and a spoiler, is all I'm saying

(lol just to clarify, we did do a cake-tasting; it's just that we'd already narrowed it down to what we thought we wanted by the time the testing went around so it was more a cake confirmation)

Are you having it rigged so when you go to cut it a parachute flies out the back?

slash is going to rise out of it wearing a led top hat

(do i say what kind of cake(s) we got or will that be a spoiler for the ilx peeps showing up at this thing?)

I think we told, but that was mostly because I wanted everyone to know that I picked a lemon raspberry cake for one of the layers.

hahahahahahahaha guess what one of our layers is

Wattle & daub?

SCOTCH

one of my layers on the big day will be scotch

k and her mom like grey tuxes and seem confused by my rabid dislike of the idea - i keep explaining that they would feel different if they had gone to prom in the early 90s but it doesnt seem to be sticking.

fuck a grey tux tho. totally not happening. hate them.

did the first invitation consultation whatever and it was uh kinda boring i guess.

wedding planning starting to wear me down at the moment, but having a shit ton of it done is awesome.

also just realized i started this thread less than a month ago and am kinda o_O at how much shit has gone on in that time period.

gray suits are one thing, but gray tux? NO

Grey is the approp color for a day wedding, isn't it? Like a morning suit? Not sure that equals a tux, though -- my understanding of formal menswear is limited pretty much to things that double as uniforms for musical performances.

btw by tux, were talking basically a double vent suit with satin covered buttons and a satin edge on the lapels

oh and dan have u ever heard of a formalwear rental place called savvi in boston/cambridge?

Grey would be fine if it were a morning suit but the idea of a grey tux just boggles, I didn't even know such a thing existed. Deviating from Black or White doesn't really compute in my head.

i think savvi is a chain, not sure how good it is

i heard you can rent amazing super cool vintage tux's from the Corner Store in Uptown by Bryant Lake Bowl

also:

all black everything

ok really? thats kind of an amazing idea maybe

would not turn up in blackface, though

some of us can't help it

(looking at FB there)

btw going directly from a hardcore decision making frenzy about what sort of letterpress style floral pattern and paper choice (satin or matte or pearlescent or) we wanted for the first several mockup invitations to a sold out motorhead show was one of my finer cognitive dissonance moments in recent memory

xpost hahahahahaha

for some reason the red hair is the funniest part of that whole idea

will you be wearing a hat?

also I have never heard of Savvi, apparently the closest one to us is 20 min away in Chelsea (the others are in Andover and Stoneham)

yeah i asked the clerk at savvi (god what a awful fucking name btw) about bostonish locations and she was totally perplexed until i helped her by informing her that the state code would be MA, and not BO for boston. the kids are dumb these days.

as crap as savvi is as a name, it is better than their affiliate, Friar Tux. which i am not making up.

I have at least SEEN a Friar Tux!

I second the Corner Store vote - the woman who runs it is awesome.

u+k question: WHAT SHAPE LAPEL

notch lapel.

i hate the peak lapels, and dont even comprehend the shawl lapel

IDK, this looked pretty good IMO

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2011/02/15/article-1297799466476-0D3565F8000005DC-889587_304x431.jpg

notch is okay, but <3 shawl 4eva

peak is basically "lol you are at 70s prom"

i dislike rented formalwear in any color but the grey sounds particularly heinous tbh

http://s.costumzee.com/users/Lana417-3310-full.gif

like imagining a cummerbund or dress vest with a grey tux is giving me the creeps

ok just talked to the lady at the corner shop and oh man the tuxes shes talking about sound kind of amazing and are like srsly half the price of the stuff at savvi/everywhere else.

looking at them on sunday, will report back

one of them is a 50s era tux w/a shawl collar that she says is very james bondy so, uh, awesome

As someone who is engaged and planning to get married in Minneapolis at a date TBD, I really appreciate this thread. Thanks, jjjusten! The only thing I've decided so far is that I want Brasa to cater the reception. Mmm... meat. And one of my best friends has already called dibs on buying me a KitchenAid mixer! I could've cried.

xpost She is reasonable. Bought a proper flapper's dress from her, black silk chiffon, $75.

Brasa is pretty awes, but one word of advice - if yer dead set on a particular caterer, nail down the venue for any additional charges/penalties for outside catering, they will gouge you to the ends of the earth if they can. also some places (ie the st paul collge club where i am doing this thing) wont allow outside caterers at all.

also total pro tip that lots of peeps dont think about - there are more places that have alcohol restrictions than you would expect - for example the weisman museum only allows clear liquids, and ive heard about that being common in several other museum/super historic venues.

Ya srsly; it was kind of ridiculous that it was cheaper for us to go to a 4-star hotel across town for the reception rather than staying on campus and having the reception in the gigantic, recently restored dining hall a 90 second walk away from the church, but staying on campus meant we were locked into the campus caterer AND we had to rent chairs, tables, silverware and linens from them exclusively at an extra price AND we had to rent bartenders from another exclusive campus organization AND we had to rent security. I think we saved 50% by going to a nicer location! (We still had to use the hotel caterer, but it was all part of the package and, more importantly, THEY WERE WAY BETTER THAN THE DUDES WHO WORKED IN THE DINING HALL)

if theres one thing i have learned during this process its that this whole thing is a minefield of hidden charges and weird shit you dont even know you have to know until the last minute, if i were not the worlds laziest man i would totally write a book about the modern wedding game because all those cute lists and timelines and whatever are totally outdated and in some cases straight up wrong.

yet to find the hidden charge in non-matrimonial relationships fwiw

one of them is a 50s era tux w/a shawl collar that she says is very james bondy so, uh, awesome

That sounds fantastic.

uh unless you count 'the look' i get from my not-to-be father in law

i just got sick of henry coming home from puppy school and asking me what "bastard" meant so

dunno how many sugbans i could rack up by mentioning the dog pound here but.....

anyways, got so many weddings (including one best man gig) coming up that i'll be a lot wiser bout all this by year-end than i'd ever have wanted tbh

jj - a friend of mine confirmed the vintage tux rental at the corner store, he did it for a wedding in chicago and said the suits are MAD TIGHT

those checklists are really only helpful in terms of organizing "big picture" stuff; for example, I am reasonably certain that without it, I would have forgotten SOMETHING

oh yeah, no doubt. its just funny that lots of them put finding the venue behind a bunch of the other stuff, which considering uh you have to do it somewhere and shit books up is just so insane to me. like fuck finalizing the guestlist when you dont know what capacity your space is. lunatics.

well, that's not actually crazy; there's no point in engaging a 300 seat venue if you are only planning on having 75 people at your wedding

"finalize the guest list" is just code for "nail down the number of attendees"; trust me, the guest list will not actually be final until the day after the wedding

too late to uninvite me now dan

I still want to know who told you I was getting married in the first place

loose lips catch a foot

i see that side of it tho - still w/o that capacity number k and i (well me mostly) were totally baffled about how to drill down to a even vague number - i mean we could have easily invited 250/300 people, but in retrospect im kinda happy about the size we ended up at. that negotiation was a lot easier than the number of bridesmaids/groomsmen however, considering k wanted uh one. xpost

phrases that you do not want to hear after putting in 3+ hours wandering around a macys:

"uh your registry seems to have been somehow deleted from the system"

its fixed now, but yesterday was not a great day

fortunately we had printed out a copy so the poor sap working in the registry dept had to enter it all again line by line

is it too late to get gayngs for the wedding band?

Ha the funny thing is that one of the members was one of the last people I cut from the guestlist

See what happens when you make an album I dislike?

note to self: play music for jjj AFTER the wedding

a visit to the place that rents vintage tuxes was an unfortunate reminder that in the 50s men liked to wear pants that billowed in the wind like sails. apparently also their junk was huge because the crotch hangs right around upper kneecap.

i think i may have swung over to the shawl collar tho - that shit looks pretty awesome when you actually see it on

lol you remember that I had you guys in shawl collars, right

i remember that i had scotch in me for about a week straight, but i choose to believe you as well

also holy shit invitations are expensive fuck

trying to google the pics of the wedding that Th30 had up for ages and ages turns up... a bunch of Katy Perry pics

but trust me, y'all looked badass

(I do think you might be missing a huge opportunity by passing on tuxes with Hammerpants, but that's just me)

I'm kinda disappointed in advance now. Hammperants would have been awesome!

HAMMPERANTS

STOP. HAMPERTIME!

trying to figure out how to make a good "Jon Hamm as Charlie Sheen, ranting madly" joke but the pe is getting in the way

i just another (second one this year) friend cancel their wedding plans until further notice because it was getting too big and too far from what they originally wanted

I am getting married in August and we have thrown tradition to the side: DIY invites, favours, family friends supplying cake, our venue is a legion (veteran's hall).. it's gonna be a relaxed, good time! We're hiring a day-of coordinator too.

woke up to 2 month warning fucking cold sweat panic freakout agghghgh

going to go attempt once again to find tuxes/suits today to stave off feelings of hopelessness

tux chosen, is dope, all is right with world again

awesome jjj...hang in there bro

dream of shawl collar dead because all rentable ones are cursed with like waist level closures which is a no go. found notch collar high two button with double vented back that is cut like a fitted suit instead of a fucking cloth box you put a groom in. rental tuxedos are 90% balls btw. also no one rents french cuff shirts which infuriates me.

It's all going to be fiiiiiiiine.

but what the heck w the not renting French cuff shirts, that doesn't even make sense

We had French cuff shirts at my wedding, didn't we?

haha i had a shirt requiring cufflinks for my wedding and forgot to, uh, buy cufflinks for it. cue frantic dash to various shops the MORNING OF.

conversely, it sounds like you have this well in hand jj. I personally could not deal with the planning involved in a trad wedding so had the reception, drinks, dinner, dancing etc in the function room of a pub. no cleanup, no chair rental, they did it all. although they did attempt to keep all the leftover cheese the cheeky fuckers. went back the next day to claim it.

I haven't noticed mention of the music so far? what's happening with that? and how long do you guys get to keep dancing?

music will be supplied by DJ IPOD whom i will bring to the event in my pocket. btw have i mentioned that having shit tons of sound equipment is a good cost saving perk and i recommend it to everyone? (note: this is mitigated by having no money for everything else in life.)

also i am the motherfucking boxstep master yo

i was considering allowing iphone peeps at the wedding to remote dj from the song list but i am worried that FB will play back in black 11 times in a row

boxstep ftw

dance instructor thinks i am super awesome - thx swing choir and crappy high school musicals!

oh yeah and apparently the lacy at saavi was being over indulgent re: french cuffs - this stuff still has cufflinks and studs, it just isnt a full on fold over french cuff WHICH I OBJECT TO but i have made peace with

tuxes are finalized and are AWESOME btw

also to answer tracer we are allowed to keep dancing until ???. no srsly, lady at the event center basically says we have until we want to leave. o_O

also, on april 2nd me and Ks parents meet with the liquor dude and i think i might leave them devastated and worried

tonight at dinner i mentioned that we might have to get some of the beer from a second vendor and they were confused by why that might be necessary. NOT EVERYONE SELLS BLACK LABEL IN THE CAN, PEOPLE

okay, my mental image of you doing your swing choir box step has TOTALLY brightened up my night

Are you going to sing the "Lullaby of Broadway"/"Get Happy" medley too?

i'm up to my neck in best man stuff atm, but it's all fairly informal stuff. God bless the groom he knows better than to risk me on anything important. He may well write my speech.

xp He's singing "Let There Be Praise," because he's so full of the Holy Spirit and everything.

6 weeks yall

went to the liquor store ready to explain to liquor broker that my peeps like to drink, but dude was a customer at the store that i know pretty well!

hookup yo.

still had to convince him to bump all quantities by a large margin. Surly Furious, Surly Bender, Summit EPA, High Life, bringing in my own damn black label. might still add a bunch of brau brothers stuff as well. 12 year scotch (idk i was on the phone while this was negotiated), Bombay, Jameson, Svedka, Barcardi Silver (not my choice). Also we got some wine but who gives a shit.

also being able to see your registry do stuff is so bizarre, its like being the creep that sneaks a look at his christmas presents and then hates himself for it.

liquor indoors

Will there be Nipsy Russells y/n

I was just in a Bed, Bath and Beyond yesterday and didn't think to even look for something for you guys. I am totally either giving you cash or finding the weirdest item from my house and wrapping it up for you. Not sure which.

aw jeez all you have to give us is your affection and support <3

plus obviously shitloads of cash

and being honest, the support is optional

hey, when should I look into this whole tux fitting thing

Read that as 'tux fighting' and was hoping that was late in the reception rather than during the ceremony.

read it as 'the mighty dux' fitting and was hoping that it was an unlikely tale of inspirational hockey victory themed wedding

It's Minnesota, it probably is.

ready it apocalypse now redux and i actually thought this would be a p sweet look at the end of the aisle

http://www.jonathanrosenbaum.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/apocalypse_now_duvall.jpg

sorry dudes i realise you're tryin to plan a wedding here

brb, buying a camo tux

http://www.sarnotux.com/image_show.asp?CatalogID=435&Which_Image=Image01

top contender so far

ugh not with those shoes

http://www.highsnobiety.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Dead-Meat-Camo-Tuxedo-Jacket-01.jpg

maybe the classic look?

http://images.halloweencostumes.net/orange_tuxedo.jpg

is that the same dude?

oh I hope so

I do applaud this idea of a camo/Willy Wonka theme wedding, kudos for being fashion forward jjj

everyone else gets tuxes, dan has to dress up like the mad hatter and do the fudderwacken to open the reception

^^^ willing to invest in a video camera for that

wadderfuck is he doin, ppl will say

as long as no one throws fried chicken at me, we'll be cool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkxvxV-S4wM

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_01/goth4RP0803_468x309.jpg

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_01/gothRP0803_468x700.jpg
Julie arrives for the ceremony in a black lined coffin in a hearse

now john just swaps it over so the best man arrives like that..

oh man, if my wife had wanted to do something like this I likely would not have wanted to marry her

at least one of us has to be normal, right?

in other words you would have totally done it? ;)

wouldn't have done that dress

writing vows, picking readings. endlessly combing my itunes library for songs. HOLY SHIT HAPPENING SOON.

anybody have any long distance requests?

I request some of the techno bangers we enjoyed while in college

esp. "Weekend", "Mindcontroller" and "Balloony"

"Magic" by Olivia Newton John (with rollerskating)

i am a terrible man because the only one of those i can identify is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J6Mw9OMUG0

ok to be clear if there is a 70s song w/ magic in the title getting played it will be this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlHTa0JpvbQ

wait, you don't remember this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRb0GTnaciE&feature=related

can you wriggle in a ref to hen fap in one of the vows pls

oh shit yes of course i do, drunken mental block xpost

This is "Weekend":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CffRfmc6sB4

although Tombot used to go on and on about "The Iron Raver" and I kind of have to say: Tombot OTM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ6maG8jcuo&feature=related

I am so glad to hear somebody kind of agree with me

oh shit i remember that song

i mean i had to get past the initial every other song bidibidibidibidibidi ascending scale but when it kicked in it was completely familiar. was that on a 140+ BPM comp maybe?

i think what we have learned in this thread other than i get married is i dont remember names of techno stuff

I changed my request: scratch Olivia newton John's "Magic"....replace it with this \m/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5SvBJwh1eA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Techno Trax Volume 9!!!

I still have a boatload of ye olde techno trax on my itunes
sad fact about my life: I RE-PURCHASED many of the techno trax compilations years after selling them off in a fit of poseur sophistication near the end of my college radio career.

(falling out of love with techno was a fake idea I had a couple times growing up)

i am still convinced that after the coming end times i will be able to buy a top spot and all the gas, chems, and ladies i want with my copies of "this is...electronic body music" volumes 1-3. pretty sure that was in one of the cave paintings in beyond thunderdome.

my only problem with that hypothesis is that I'm pretty sure there is a plugin for ableton+max that is capable of automatically ginnin up 95% of all post-1993 dance music tracks using whatever it finds on the internet plus autotune and a dash or e of wolfram math

or if there isn't we could all team up and build it, then xkcd could make a stickman footnote joke and we would magically be thousandaires

im in!

wait do i have to know stuff

I know right havin to know stuff is THE WORST

PART EVERYTIME

I think how it works at my job is I write down some of the ideas for how it could work, then a guy like Dan writes a shitload of perl, then a guy like you says hey this is not so bad, it kind of does what I had in mind and we give each other medals while a big brass band plays some brass band devo covers

It is what they call "Agile Development"

i am qualified for that!

ok then the missing ingredient is just the dan guy then

and the devo brass band, almost forgot

wait let me make some calls

I'm in

oh man, making some awesome terrible decisions on this wedding playlist atm

how many times did you include "Ventolin" and "Poing"?

Not enough, obv.

whoa this is happening in one month

mixed feelings of excitement and panic

the nice thing about this thread is that after the cake doesnt show up or i realize that i never finished writing my wedding vows, i can look here and pinpoint the exact moment that i ruined the wedding.

it wasn't when you were pontificating on the EBM comps, I'll tell you that much

hahahaha

oh hey do you still need terrible suggestions for the wedding playlist

well i cant see why not

I ask because I've had "Let's Pretend We're Married" running through my head for a week.

Also, "Lillies" by Cranes

and "Flashback" by Ministry

haha that would be a classy prince pick - i had to force myself not to go with horny toad, but instead chose delerious.

idk if i really remember that cranes song, i know ive heard it but

It's not lyrically challenging, it just sounds unlike anything anyone would ever play at a wedding

here

ill have to listen to it once i get home, to maintain the required counter-intuitive feel i shoot for in my business, we have no audio playback system connected to the computer at work.

I linked it so you could play it ON IPHONE

in what is starting to even sound to me like a desperate string of excuses not to listen to this song, guess who didnt charge his iphone because he decided to do shots of tequila instead of find a suitable reading like he intended to was too distracted by the beauty and tranquility of his impending nuptuals

hahaha

this is going to be so much fun

liquor store upper level dude is trying to convince Ks parents that we are ordering TOO MUCH beer

i might have to smoke a fool

like trying to figure out how to walk the tightrope of "my friends like beer and i know you dont so this quantity seems strange to you" without tipping over to sounding like i am having a frat brodown for inveterate alcoholics. but mostly shut up wine snob dude thats trying to pimp us on more wine that few people will drink. fuck

It's his job to up-sell, a horrid term for a sleazy ol' process. It's YOUR job to say, thank you, but we've already considered the parameters and I'm willing to take the risk of having TOO MUCH BEER on hand.

like im kinda livid right now, this dude just backdoored me and i am half thinking of telling them im just going to go ahead and buy the beer on my own and telling said liquor store to go screw. 140 guests - 6 hours between reception, dinner and dance - no liquor after cocktail hour - 10 cases of beer is not excessive

like this is basic math, i have no idea what this dude is trying to pull, unless he is commissioned on wine and not on beer

Has it actually stopped or delayed your beer order? Is he making K's parents worried about the number which you now have to RE-convince them of?

I'm trying to remember how much beer and wine we bought. It was something like "15 bottles each of red & white + a ton of beer" and no one tried to keep us from ordering whatever we wanted.

altho truth be told, if you were getting society-approved middlebrow beers you likely wouldn't be having any issues

"thank you, but we've already considered the parameters and I'm willing to take the risk of having TOO MUCH BEER on hand."

This is kind of the perfect thing to say.

Laurel if I ever throw a big to-do, I'm going to hire you

Haha that would be a terrible idea, I don't know nothin bout throwin no parties. But I know about being a customer, and the crux of every transaction is risk. Who assumes the risk?

Now, I assume, knowing jj, that we're talking about a truly remarkable amt of beer. So maybe the wine guy isn't crazy to question it. But if the customer assumes the risk, then it's none of the wine guy's business.

My response would be a polite-ish way of letting him know that it's not of his business.

yeah this idiot has managed to get the count to 3 cases of white wine and 2 cases of red, and yet hes trying to get the total beer case count down to 8 cases.

Can you just tell him to bug off???

How many bottles are in a case?

so like everybody at the wedding gets slightly more than one beer. however they also get about half a bottle of wine.

wtf dude

(24 bottles in a case)

NNNOOOOOOOO that doesn't work at all!!!!

Wine is for having 2 glasses of. Beer is for drinking for SIX HOURS, WTF go back and change the order!!!!

oh come on, I could drink like 2 bottles solo over 6 hours

I mean, I like beer too but wine is also good

You should try the "beer = more volume = less actual drunkenness" argument

I guess it depends on how many guests will drink beers and how many guests are Great-Aunt Mabel and will have some orange pekoe tea if they're feeling particularly daring. But one beer and half a bottle of wine per guest isn't very much at all unless a bunch of them aren't drinking anything.

I think there's a cash though?

Things could be worse, though--I had a dry wedding under orders from my mother. I didn't drink back then, so I didn't care at the time, but I really wish I had thought to stand up to her.

Oh man, my sister had a small low-key wedding in a backyard followed by a pretty boring but much larger reception a couple weeks later with lots of people. However, it was lots of people who didn't really drink.

The 'open bar' was supposed to close after two hours, but no one was drinking so they kept it running out of kindness. I had:
1. Lost my home
2. Left my girlfriend
3. Got into legal trouble
4. Had to live with my friends, and later my parents

I spent the whole night holding court at the back table near the bar and drank EVERYTHING. I think I went from beer to gin and tonics to wine to beer to whiskey to everything else they had.

I woke up at my parents' place the next morning and proceeded to eat a shitload of leftover appetizers that had been put in their fridge.

btw, even if you do dinner, having some snack shit laying around during the reception, even a bowl of pretzels, is key.

we hired a day-of coordinator pretty much so that there is a sober person to remember to order us midnight pizza. yum

our booze budget is $4K and we're opening the bar after dinner. can't bring in our own booze but beers are $3.50 a pop, double liquors around $6 or so. good times!

I went to a wedding once that had really fantastic food but they still hired the best taco truck in the area to come by around midnight and give out free tacos and burritos and such.

I think there's a cash though?

― fat fat fat fat Usher (DJP), Friday, April 15, 2011 12:59 AM (14 hours ago)

if you mean a cash bar w/liquor - nope. starting the night off with liquor, cutting it off before dinner so i dont end up holding someones hair back while they puke into the bushes and tell me they love me.

and yes i am talking about FB here obv

obv

did he get measured for his tux yet?

fyi another song for the wedding playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwaSU6dzMlI

urrrghhh

stress, fights.

so stupid. also, quickly resolved, but

looking forward to being done. 19 days!

yay/oh shit

"Cut me Mick!"

just made a game time decision that i cant actually play "Kill the Poor" by the Dead Kennedys at my wedding.

i should prob take a short break from playlist building

can we play "Fucked" by GOD

unfortunately we arent doing a dollar dance so

lol

re: stress, fights.

Keep repeating to yourself that IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT ON THE DAY

Then it will be over and you can relax and never do it again. Awesome! :)

oh man I had an entire list of dollar dance suggestions:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeUWYcct-ZQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMCMlNyySvo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwmKqym0a2U&feature=related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMMU9NrDAno

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jzSCJvLYrQ

hahahahaha

dan is trying to break the divorce landspeed record i think

I am just trying to help make this be the most entertaining occasion possible

if part of that entertainment includes the bride roflstomping the groom for poor music choices, so be it; I am merely here to advise

so are you guys doing iTunes playlists or utilizing any sort of app? There are a few 'wedding DJ' apps I am considering using because of ability to add requests.. there is also this option which will undoubtedly result in you hearing Closer by NIN at your wedding.. http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/my-weddingdj/id383243064?mt=8#

You have seen the songs I've been suggesting he play at the reception, right? Multiply that by all of John's friends and you'll see why he might be wary of letting people do requests.

Well, people can request things, doesn't mean the DJ has to play them all* ;) Just curious about what method of playlist-making is going on because I've never DJ'd before and feel our iTunes playlists are too rigid!

*unless he goes with this remote thing.. but you could restrict the library to Approved Songs anyway

haha ok so i have gotten to the 6.5 hour point on the playlist, but i am well aware that the next step is my fantastic bride doing the "what the fuck were you thinking u drunk ass" editing session with me.

tbf i think i can still get another hour or two of perfect selections in before i think better of it tonight.

!!! so exciting

did you know our friend wilter just got married to a beautiful girl at a beautiful wedding? he sent me a picture and it literally brought a tear to my eye.

<3 to all the new brides and grooms.

awwwwww wilter!

i miss that guy

O________o

less than 2 weeks.

It cheers me every time I see this thread!

Considering finding a way to pay for the sun to show up on your big day. Best I can probably do is borrow a sweater and lend it to another guest.

What do you have left to do on your checklist?

hope you survive/d your stag better than the sundered fellowship i took leave of last night, jjj

hahaha so the marriage license costs $115, but that would be reduced to $40 if we did 12 hours of pre-marriage counseling and took a test.

that is $75 i am willing to pay

lol

our pre-marriage counseling involved hanging out with the minister who married us and reminiscing about when we were in college and he still worked at Memorial Church mixed in with random "you know fighting is okay, right?" conversations

also it was scheduled like bi-weekly over 6 months so by this time it would have been a moot point for us

over here you have to do a weekend retreat/marriage course to be able to have yr wedding in a catholic church, iirc.

yeah, our counseling thing was a mandated precondition by the campus church for getting married there

tbh I think it's a good idea, although obv if you are say already living together and owning property together you've probably already navigated some of the bumps it's supposed to prepare you for

or been gifted a sex and the city boxset

Yeah, catholic ones make you do a bubble sheet test and then go through a course. Some churches just pair you with a couple in the church and they walk you through crap, etc.

Reference: almost married a catholic chick

oh I would have been so down to take a bubble sheet test, I kill at those

imagine the winner of the bubble test pulling out the results in every argument

okay when we renew our vows I am demanding we incorporate a bubble sheet test into the proceedings somehow

I think I forgot to fill in the bubble where it asked whether your future spouse was a vicious psychopath, but that was found out anyway.

It's not a win/lose bubble test, silly, it's to see how well your answers mesh with the other person

those tests aren't fun unless you fill it out like you think the other person would; that's how the best fights start

wtf good luck us eh

"I am ok with the amount my spouse drinks" / "I believe my spouse doesn't enjoy drinking enough"

I should have followed one of my high school friends into the clergy, solely so that I could incorporate a dunk tank into my pre-wedding counseling

although I guess I would have to definitively believe in God in order for that to make sense

oh wait, Unitarian Universalism! career change SORTED

man i will miss the wonderful excuse possibilities of impending wedding at work, ill tell you what.

on the other side, i would like you all to imagine my reaction when my iphone decided to completely self-destruct about 2 days ago and would not only refuse to cough up any contact information but also would not work as an uh phone (which i hear is one of the iphones many features). got it back but only by offering up all of my apps as a sacrificial offering.

lol u bought an uh-phone, that's the knockoff version.

Buy original apple products folks, don't be like jjj.

I assume you won't be installing the muskrat pr0n app this time?

lol more fool you

Muskrats can't programme for shit

right so you guys want me to take long plane rides without muskrat pr0n huh, why dont i go ahead and live in a cave like an animal

lock first world problems thread

Muskrat cave?

wasn't that in that Ariane web game

I never played, but that would have added an interesting twist.

when i wake tomorrow it will be one week to my wedding. mixture of O_O and happy i guess? fortunately my peeps are going to assist me in drinking all conscious thought out of my brain tomorrow night so in the long run it doesnt really matter.

You will be so happy that day - just gotta get through one last week of last minute tasks or whatever. I *sort of* remember doing that... but it was work and grad school that was distracting me at the time, not beer. Your way might be better.

oh shit 5/14

someone liveblog

it's all pretty wonderful.

Should i try to set up a wedding webcam y/n

wedcam shurely

Should i try to set up a wedding webcam y/n

I thought you'd never ask.

stagcam also pls

\  / | |\/
 \/\/  \/
  \ ___/
   /. .\
   | _ | 
  __\ /__ 
 /       \    
/ /|   |\ \

nevar 4get

i love that guy!

ow

Yep

hey jjjusten, i hope you and k have a great week and don't worry about anything because it will all be lovely.

You guys still alive?

lol old ppl

glucose IV drip stat lol

pipe slippers STAT

why... why is my hip hurting

s-s-so very cold

ships burning off the shoulder of john justen

Pretty sure you got tackled by mark at one point. Also I hear that we fell down a few times in the kitchen

I have a bruise on my thigh that is unfriendly looking

how many ticks u get

any ankle injuries cos that's the worst

No ankle injuries because we only had strong robust men at the event.

3 ticks, one of whom was a complete dick and hid in my armpit

really?? gross!!!!!!

lol darragh got pwned

Apparently ticks have strict racial preferences because I have zero

Of course what this actually means is that I now suck at checking for ticks and probably have about seven of them in horrible places

Also I lost my earring ;_;

I was at a brilliant wedding this weekend and the one problem? Not enough water on tables. It was hot, everyobne was thirsty, and to slake it we had to reach for wine.

Also congrats JJ!!! on a great thread.

rumor has it that somebody might have fallen into the fire but who pays attention to gossip right?

sorry about yer earing dude

very ironic considering the considering the conversation we had on the way up re: high school dumbasses

find ticks, use for earrings, all problems solved

whoa dudes everything is pretty much taken care of! i mean sure there will be some 11th hour shit but this week is going to be pretty ok! who knew?

woohoo!

cut the lawn tonight, TAKE THAT LIST OF TERROR

ice cold

also friends rolling into town over the next few nights = good times all the time

note to self: be less hungover than expected on wedding day

bernese cake toppers showed up today and they are ridiculous

second note to self: be less drunk than expected by ceremony

what is a bernese cake topper

that's shocking news, bernese cake toppers are famous for being highly practical and sensible. xxp

This is the best week ever!

Playlist for dinner and reception DONE

will you post playlist for the curious onlookers?

Yes please! Playlist! Also - photos of the Bernese cake toppers need to be posted, if it won't be too much of a spoiler.

Also, the week leading up to my wedding was one of the best times ever for me. I had just finished my second year of law school, showed up at home a little drunk after a quick stop at a bar after my last final, and my wife handed me a list of things to take care of. The next day, I scored a gig for the summer, and then spent the next 6 days taking care of the final details. 3 days before, folks started arriving, and it was all a wonderful, hectic, amazing blur. Enjoy it, man, because you've got one of the best parties EVER to look forward to at the end of the week.

Also, the note about water on the tables is key. Crucial, even. Celebrators be thirsty, and a lack of non-alcoholic quenching options can lead to a messy conclusion.

CONGRATULATIONS!

I would like to remind you that water is for the weak

Whatever happens to FuzzyBear is going to be all your fault, DJP.

will try to post the playlist afterwards so the surprise isnt ruined for ilx guests

kudos again for going the "all NWA-related acts" route, it makes a bold artistic statement

I would like to remind you that water is for the weak

― Dreaded Burrito Gang (DJP),

i'm pretty sure the diktat handed down was that 'it's water for the week' FYI

also

http://www.dawsoncreekeventscentre.com/images/gallery/nwa/NWA-Nov21-09_060.jpg

whoohoo, too late to fix anything, and too late to fuck anything else up

it is freeing

I like your attitude

^^^ this!!!!

Excited as hell for you, jjj -- congrats again and have fun.

i want photographic proof, or this didn't happen

this thread!
<3
best wishes!

So does this mean Prescott is a GO

woo! so exciting!

whoohoo, too late to fix anything, and too late to fuck anything else up

it is freeing

― blbllbllllllrlrrghgghhh (jjjusten), Thursday, May 12, 2011 10:29 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha i remember that feeling well! also remember: anything that isn't like "perfect" or according to plan you will honestly never remember! there was all kinds of stuff we were worried about that i cannot recall for the life of me.

anyway jj big congrats!

<3 so stoked for you, jjj!

Have a brilliant day!

mazel tov, best wishes, go nuts and have fun man! :D

Adding to all them good wishes. :-)

Big congrats!

24 hours from now I will be wearing a ring and grinning like an idiot

Holy shit

^_^

Huge congratulations and good wishes for the morrow and the many years to follow.

Yay! Congrats jjj.

guys what's the url for the webcast

also <3 jjj have a lot of fun

Have super fun!! :D

all the best jjj, enjoy!

it's saturday 14 may 2011 here now, happy wedding day! <3

I thought this day would never GET here and now it has!!! Safe travels to everyone and have a blast, obviously!

bigger than the royal wedding! oh the anticipation

I'm happy for both of you. :-) First thing we did after our wedding was fall asleep on the hotel bed with all of our clothes on.

tli

jjj have a blast

lol estela

home from controlled drinking burn, and as i wandered around my backyard without lady or puppy, some dude at the bar kittycorner to me just shot at something/someone and there is now a hardcore police action going down. how did they know that it was my special day?

(uh also thx to all of you wellwishers you are the best and sweetest.)

GO TO BED MOTHERFUCKER

YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ok yeah thats probably a good idea

http://www.mpartworks.com/images/ketubah_250/mazeltov.jpg

Or you could stay up for our amusement. Well, my amusement.

ok to be fair now that there are 15 cop cars blocking off the streets and they are doing door to doors i feel a little bad about my flippancy :(

on the plus side tomorrow i do get free artichoke puff pastries so

~america~

also tried to go upstairs and sleep but its like a cop light strobing dance party up there

note to self: buy better curtains

Hey JJustin - congrats and I hope you have a marvelous day tomorrow! :)

oh i will

!!!!!

:D

so so happy right now

http://www.about-knowledge.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/goodluck-jonathan.jpg

(meant with all sincerity)

ok i should go lie down and pretend/attempt to sleep at this point i suppose. but hey dont be surprised if i pop up every few hours going heehee or !!!!!!! or whatever.

heehee

this is so cute

Is very cute and very well deserved. (Henry is the ringbearer, yes?)

hey jjjjusten, totally stoked for you dude - i would wish you the best for tomorrow, but i don't think you need it, it's already gonna be the best day ever!!!!

<3

henry was pretty clearly going to be a tremendous liability thx to height/tail massiveness/table clearing capability + the odds that he would take about an hour to get down the aisle because of his need to love on everyone in the crowd, so he is living at a dog boarding house that got upgraded by my mother in law because it had happier lighting. now he will be in a suite where he has a bed (like people bed), a couch, and a television. also we can skype him i guess. there is also a waggy hour where the dogs get to play together and eat treats out of martini glasses.

we live in a strange world.

poor henry. and yet, good for henry

how many hours until the wedding?

Best wishes and congrats! Hope you both have an awesome day.

John, I hope you and K have an amazing day. Oh yah, fer sure.

oh shit a wedding

http://lorenphotos.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/sophie042310.jpg

srsly impressed by the idea of Skyping with your DOG, lol.

Can't wait to see this; long time coming, I would say. : )

good luck and congratulations :)

first

NICE!

Way to be hitched!!

congratulations!

This was seriously the most amazing wedding, John and K couldn't have been more fantastically... wow. Very emotional ceremony; I know half the people there were wiping eyes (myself included). Just incredible.

I hope someone posts a photo of the cake topper soon; I think I have pix but I'm horrible about getting them to the computer. But even that was *amazing*.

WE GOT PHOTOS!

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10100792071140020.3222856.13908373

Also I assume Dan looked like this most of the time.

BTW, that there cake topper.

FTW

And more seriously, :-).

So this was sort of massively awesome

shit i just remembered i was invited to this sorry jjj ;_;

I just want to know how long you guys were at the bar afterward... I went home and collapsed. But seriously, best wedding ever!!!

Dan was also adorably inebriated. "I know you can't come with us... but come with us to the bar."

Looked awesome. Thanks for the pics, DJP and Ned. the cake toppers were out of sight.

yeah facebook pics were awes

srsly this looks like the best wedding ever (opinion sealed w/ pic of k on stairs)

please dear little babby jesus can you help me find a way to look at these photos without having to open a facebook account because i really don't wanta.

^^^^ I reactivated (then immediately deactivated) my account just to see these. Totally worth it :)

estela i will dl them from fb and email them to you, ok?

done!

I am still going YAY 24 hours later

Super duper tired tho

thank you justin3! <3 such great, great photos. well done jj & k. have fun, djp et al <3

congrats dude

lotta goats being thrown at this wedding <3

CONGRATS. I AM NOT ON FB BUT CLEARLY YOU WIN SOMETHING. CONGRATS AGAIN. AND AGAIN, CONGRATULATIONS.

he won a bunch of things i think!

the hand of his fair lady, for starters

fair bird-flippin lady, even better

the best kind

congratulations jjjjjjjjj

Congrats and Fcuk FB for hiding the awesomeness from me.

yup, please someone post picture for all us worthless lurkers! I have FB but I don't really know anyone. :D

congrats jjj!

congrats to the mr. and mrs.!

The pix I took are few and not the greatest quality - annnnnd I need help figuring out how to get them here. If I can manage, I will try.

Dan - I'm also going YAY still - and Jul14 is srsly ready to fight A. and I for one of the "YAY" flags, lol. Thankfully I got some rest last night because I had to work today.

such a great wedding! i keep writing that as 'weeding', huh.

everybody's pictures are so good.

There were YAY flags?

this looks like the most fun wedding i have ever not been to.

(tied with abbott's)

there were indeed YAY flags

Hand made by the best man!

OK, now that makes total sense. <3 FB.

FB's best man toast was possibly the best one I've ever heard, too. Heartfelt and hilarious... So great!

he imitated an imitation of a dog, it was wild!

I have wifi for like 30 seconds in the middle of nowhere wisconsin and I just want to say hello and thanks and holy crap that was awesome.

Strange adventure honeymoon you have there.

"In Search of Scott Walker"

huzzah! cheers to the newlywed!

Oh you have no idea. Just survived house on the rock and are now drinking local beers in preparation for the igloo suite at the don q inn.

Also last night we broke the electrical system at an inn attached to a brewery by turning on the jets in the whirlpool at which point the cable box caught fire.

congrats jjj :)

on getting married, not on blowing the electricity

house on the rock! house on the rock! :D

lol at John's honeymoon; somehow it all sounds completely fitting!

Oh you have no idea. Just survived house on the rock and are now drinking local beers in preparation for the igloo suite at the don q inn.

Also last night we broke the electrical system at an inn attached to a brewery by turning on the jets in the whirlpool at which point the cable box caught fire.

OMG

Henry, like the faithful St. Bernards in the Alps, will rescue them yet.

they should write dreadful things in the inn guestbook and then sign it j/k.

congratulations! hope you guys are having a great week!

i remember hearing about their honeymoon and it made me want to marry them both so i could come too. i vaguely recall they described a hotel room that sounded like the inside of a cadillac.

best to you, jjj, and bottomless forbearance to your spouse (j/k)

lol Morbs

congrats jjjjj, truly ace (although i can't see the fb pics coz i didn't join the cult of don't have a fb acct)

In the middle of the woods, with dog and wife, drinking scotch and watching new film classic "predators"

Live life to the full, I sez.

tadah, am back in civilization, married iirc

Why?

why am i back in civilization or why am i married (note one of these will make you more popular w/my wife than the other)

I dont have to explain myself to you tramps

Ps Pls ban Brodie, whoever's sock he is and lock all related threads

Fucking iPhone

That should have been 'gramps'

but somehow "tramps" is so appropriate here!

Hey jjj, did I mention that I lost my earring at your bachelor party? Apparently only lost the back and stuffed it into my wallet, where I discovered it this morning.

yay jjj! \(^o^)/

congrats!