Do You Watch Porn?

fyi table everyone posting in this thread will have to have done so by using the internet

only of the avatar kind

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

i don't watch commercial porn per se, I have weird fetishes so the things my mind can make pornographic would be o_O to you all.

tho i do go to strip clubs

i watch lowest common denominator commercial porn, my tastes are v.vanilla. i've never paid for it tho, so i guess i'm actually undermining those sleazy, exploitative bastards. ahhhh, do you see?

I've only been to a strip club once, and that's just because my friend's neighbor was dancing and she got us our drinks at half price. It was odd hanging out in her kitchen earlier in the day eating a sandwich, and then seeing her naked on a pole later.

I've only been to a strip club once...since Friday

my favorite one was the oldest one there, proving to me that I definitely have a thing for older women.

i'd never go to a strip club, not for any moral reason, just cuz i'd feel like a sad bastard, i think. pretty girls make me feel like a loser enough already without me having to pay them money to see their knickers.

i felt that way until the time i walked by a guy who was bragging about how he'd just puked in the urinal to all his friends

The only thing more depressing than the one strip club I've been to is the direction this thread seems to be taking.

??? seems pretty tame for TMI for me.

but back to porn uh yea I don't pay for it either, fuck that

Max's post was really sad!

i find strip clubs to be really really really uncomfortable. like, i have a hard time imagining having a good time in one? i mean, duh, naked people, i get it. i went once or twice, not my thing at all.

xpost oh nm I misunderstood you. yea, it's a feeling I can identify with, too....

to be completely serious I don't usually go to strip clubs to have a good time, every time I've been to one (sans one, which was for a b'day party), I went with something heavy on my mind that I was going there to forget, always involving women.

mixed results.

due to the strange pathways of life i've read a shitload of academic work on stripping, too. this has influenced my feeling somewhat i'm sure.

there is something sad about "consuming porn" though, isn't there? deffo think about sex more when i'm depressed/bored. it's a bit like eating an entire tub of ice cream after getting dumped, a pain killer.

xposts

yea, that element does exist -- I am much the same way, because it serves as a necessary distraction.

undoubtedly

Yeah, I have really mixed feelings about strip clubs in general. Too tired to go into it now but I'm pretty sure my feelings have been influenced a lot by some personal experiences but also stuff I've read and work I've done with people involved in the sex industry.

oh sorry that was x-post to goole

??? seems pretty tame for TMI for me.

― pf smangs (San Te), Tuesday, 1 February 2011 00:33 (10 minutes ago)

not in TMI btw.

I've never been to a strip club because 1. there's the chance that seeing some dead-eyed eastern European teenager doing something she hates to just about get by would ruin sexuality for me forever, and 2. relatedly, while I know well that there are individual women who can be strippers and completely distance themselves from the aspects of it that are anything but easy money, the wider picture of it, both like economically and gender-politically, is something I want no part of.

But then I'm a wuss and my relation to porn is probably closest to "I occasionally watch porn when I am sad and use my tears for lube".

didn't even notice that, for some reason I thought the thread originated there. anywho...

i will say the club I go to, while I'm obv ignorant to the behind the scenes crap, is a classier joint and seems to take care of their women better than some of the seedier places...though again, that's just what it looks on the outside, and I know with those places that can be deceptive. i'm not going to lie and act like i'm Super-Ethical Man, but I'd probably stop going if I learned otherwise.

strip clubs are weird and hawt and the beer is super expensive, i watch porn btw

lol

they don't allow alcohol in the clubs in Tampa...some city ordinance. technically violating the 6 foot rule is a crime too so I'm apparently a lawbreaker in Tampa

strip club are interesting tho, it doesnt really matter how much youre apposed to child sex slavery, stick an ass in yr face and you will get a boner

lolol

real talk

Strippers: THEY FLY @ U FACE

and these ladies they are generally professional, theyre artful re their demeanor in sending off vibes, their body language is not screaming victim

Yeah, I mean, that's part of the reason they're interesting but also sort of creepy to me.

The one I was in was in LA at (at least at the time) they don't allow alcohol in clubs where the women are totally naked so they had to leave on the tiniest of underwear. It was pretty pointless and pretty lol.

I want to hear more about San Te's fetishes

like, are you a looner?

maybe this needs a ILTMI thread

I wasn't going to ask. Thank God for homoII.

yea i don't really wanna get into em on ILE. lol

the necessity of on some level buying into the sexualized environment on the part of the strippers is i imagine what has the greatest capacity to fuck w/ones head - i mean you cant just fake it totally you have to somewhat be it

well come on you have to say now

would you post about it on 77? I NEED TO KNOW

i'll post about it on ILTMI -- can't currently post on 77. but only if someone else starts the thread and other people participate, ie "list yer fetishes here".

:)

Do you want to learn about San Te's fetishes? Enter here.

puffy nipples fetish porn

p.n.f.p.

i've been to clubs a few times. keep in mind that this is portland, which Will Not Shut Up about how awesome and rad and not evil at all its strip clubs are. despite this there are plenty of clubs where the girls are obviously miserable/oppressed and those are the most depressing places i've ever been; but above-board places aren't bad. you just have to be in a certain unsentimental and slightly dissonant frame of mind: you might end up having a nice conversation with a girl, which will still be a nice conversation even when you're aware it's only happening because you're buying drinks/tipping. in fact the only way it won't be a nice conversation is if you can't understand that. i dunno. they're weird places and they're not my natural habitat at all but i can have a good time, especially if it's obvious the girls are.

porn kind of freaks me out but i've never really watched it. like i've seen and made use of as many pictures/videos of naked girls as the next kid who had the internet in high school but i've never really sat down and watched something where people fuck each other; it's not really for me. i don't have a coherent moral picture of it and i dunno if i'll ever get around to constructing one at this rate.

I did not realize that in all-nude clubs the lap dances are still all-nude. That seems like a bridge too far, IMO.

I've been four times total, I think. Second time I wound up getting a lap dance from a cuet tattooed punk rock girl - would have rather talked about music than had her ass in my face, tbh. Last time, stripper did a hand stand on my shoulders during lap dance, my right shoulder hurt for a week.
The clubs are fun if you're going out on a lark with a group - birthday, presumably bachelor party, etc.. Would find it entirely too depressing to go to one alone, or have it be a weekly spot.

Have never gotten a boner during a lap dance, either. Strip clubs are really, really good at de-eroticizing naked ladies.

i mean, duh, naked people, i get it.

new board description

the one time i got a lap dance it was right after i'd broken up with someone and a friend bought it for me and it was performed by a girl named eva who was half-greek i think and had these absolutely incredible electric-blue eyes, and in the private room we talked for a while about renaissance fairs (her subject) while she waited for the next song to start. cannot actually remember if i got a boner but i do remember what she looked like; she was nice. afterwards this laughably symbolic thing happened: i complimented her as we were leaving on her aforementioned incredible eyes, and her response to the compliment was kind of jarred, as if i'd said something she considered out-of-character, and i only realized after she'd disappeared that she'd heard "eyes" as "ass". that's strip clubs for me. i think they were contacts anyway.

i've never really sat down and watched something where people fuck each other

Never? Not even just out of curiosity?

oh nah i've seen porn. "sat down" was a euphemism.

'i love your electric blue ass' xxp

Strip clubs are really, really good at de-eroticizing naked ladies.

― boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Monday, January 31, 2011 8:17 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I def found this to be the case at the one I went to but maybe it would be different for me somewhere else. Mainly I just sat there analyzing everything and thinking about the whole experience/industry way too much to really enjoy it.

the first time i went to one i was doing exactly that overanalysis, and was incredibly nervous and awkward and stood in a corner with my arms folded affecting some kind of bullshit academic skepticism, and this fucking huge bouncer came up to me and said "you know this is my job"

ahahaha

I went to one strip club ever (stag/bucks) and have never been less turned on in my life. We played pool.

i guess part of me thinks that i should be able to go out to a regular club and be attractive enough in myself that girls will dirty-dance with me because they actually want to, for free. so my strip club aversion is really just ego-based and nothing to with feminism 101 or w/ever. and that includes burlesque, which is fucken corny anyway.

x-posts Yeah but I was all pumped to go. It was my idea and I didn't really expect to feel that way once inside. I didn't stand in a corner or anything and my friends bought me a lapdance. I mean it was fun overall but just very very strange. I'd like to go again though if only to see if I react the same way or if things would be different now.

my girlfriend at the time really wanted to go. never happened tho.

I have never been to a strip club. I have been to gay bars with scantily-clothed or totally-naked people dancing on the bar, but it's never done anything for me really. Was once bought a lap dance, which was okay enough, I guess, but it's like "how is it fun for me to have you stick your crotch in my face if I don't actually get to have sex with you?"

'it's a really expensive buffet where you can't eat any of the food'

I've never been to a strip club. Just never had much interest in it. Even when I worked at a porn magazine, the whole strip-club thing never appealed to me even a little, for basically the reasons offered in the two previous posts.

first experience at a strip club was with some friends when we were about 18. guess it was kind of an unspoken "coming of age" thing for us. the place was deserted and we just sat there in the middle of the room trying to not look completely clueless and terrified. it was a pretty uncomfortable scene and it turned me off to the whole deal for some time.

i ended up getting talked into going to one some years later though and it was a good time! key to enjoyment: booze.

i've prob mentioned this before but the only time i've been to a strip club was this summer with crut and ethan -- this one girl was kinda flirting w/ me (she was really pretty too for a stripper) & ethan kept hinting that i was gay but i don't think the caught on -- then i saw tits & the front of a vag -- we left tho cuz it was dead & we went to another one but they were charging too much for cover so that was that

beer was expensive tho

-- then i saw tits & the front of a vag --

first strip club i ever went to was in puerto vallarta mexico and i found all the women oddly beautiful - whereas i've been to a couple here in the states and (stating the obvious here) found the girls trashy and occasionally sort of odd looking. back to the mexican strip club - no, it wasn't a botanero.

a lot of the mexican dudes i was hanging out with (i speak caveman spanish, but enough to meet & hang out w/ the surfing crowd) were yipping and nudging me in the ribs and i just wasn't very aroused. then i realized these guys haven't been watching internet porn since they were 13 so i guess i've sort of been ruined, and probably speak for all my generation when i say that.

i guess all that build-up was sort of irrelevant.

i complimented her as we were leaving on her incredible eyes, and her response to the compliment was kind of jarred, as if i'd said something she considered out-of-character, and i only realized after she'd disappeared that she'd heard "eyes" as "ass".

http://kinokharkov.org.ua/uploads/posts/1173454101_8efccfc925ea11377cde2eb44eea31f3.jpg

-- then i saw tits & the front of a vag --

― ENBB, Monday, January 31, 2011 9:36 PM (46 seconds ago) Bookmark

this is true

i'm looking for that jpg of the eagle & the woman's ass in a bikini but i can't find it

http://www.geeza.com.au/geeza/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/ButtcrazyBird.jpg

lol exactly

what does the back of a vag look like

a cervix

the eyes/ass story is p great and sad

^^ totally

lol abbott

Internet porn has taught me to appreciate clothing. Bodies can be exciting but it's always the same thing. Nudists are confused. Even the nude bicycle ride I witnessed was amusing for a couple minutes, then visually bland: the same shape and color, over and over.

porn is all pretty boring in my experience but that doesn't mean it's not useful. fake boobs are gross.

never been a strip club but i always think abt going to this one club in providence that has free breakfast buffet--"legs n eggs." sounds like you can't go wrong.

more tasteful than 'baps n baps' imo

Have never been to a strip club. Friends used to go, mostly I think for ironic trashy lols which kind of bothered me...like I don't want to go where these girls work just to laugh at them behind their backs. Either go, or dont go, you know? And I think if I did go it would probably bum me out, or I would get distracted thinking about who cleans the poles and what the strippers lives are like outside of work and if there is some skeevy dude in the back room not paying them enough money.

That said, I watch porn but i find i'm pretty utilitarian. I can't sit through a whole porno. I watch the part that turns me on, do what you're supposed to do, and then, done.. Like, once youve gotten off a few times it feels weird to just sit around and watch "to see how it ends" or w/e. And the bizarreness of it all starts to overwhelm me and I think about nature documentaries and why are these closeups even arousing and basically kill it all dead in my mind, haha,

I don't think ironic trashy lols really exist in relation to strip clubs. That's just cover for wanting to see tittehs, imo.

Like, once youve gotten off a few times it feels weird to just sit around and watch "to see how it ends"

lol I actually hang around for the end sometimes, just so I don't miss anything, even if I'm not at all turned on anymore.

now THAT is weird.

(pretty sure it always ends in splat.)

HA!

Well, it's not like I'll watch another 45 minutes. I'm just talking about 7-minute web videos or whatever.

I watch porn but i find i'm pretty utilitarian. I can't sit through a whole porno. I watch the part that turns me on, do what you're supposed to do, and then, done.. Like, once youve gotten off a few times it feels weird to just sit around and watch "to see how it ends" or w/e. And the bizarreness of it all starts to overwhelm me and I think about nature documentaries and why are these closeups even arousing and basically kill it all dead in my mind, haha,

this, 100%. Thinking about our human biology is great when actually having sex, less so when watching porn. It's also always terrible when you're mid-flow and you think "how is the director lighting this scene?"

Never been to a 'strip club', never fancied it, mainly because it's all 'entertainment' and as I used to know a bunch of dancers it would be too much 'identification' or um, you know what I mean..

Many years ago, the place I worked at had an 'evening out' booked, where my g/f suggested I go along as well for 'interest' sake, but still didn't want to. The reports I got back the morning after described what happens when they have a 'special stayback'..

Anyway, it was many years later where someone told my wife (same person) about what happens at these sorts of occasions, and she was genuinely shocked, and asked me about it. I said that I hadn't known before that evening out, but found out after...

http://www.miserableretailslave.com/chris_farley_as_benett_brower.jpg

quite.

Strip Bars: search and destroy

Well, to continue the "

one lad, at the end of the night, apparently got his 'chance', and managed to, umm, arrive 'on-stage' to the mass cheering of the crowd.

I genuinely hope that made his night, but was so gald I wasn't there.

glad, even.

are you using "arrive" as a euphemism or something? tbh i'm not sure i follow this story. your employer booked a night at a strip club??

Mmm Hmmm.

(although it wasn't an official night out, more the 'lads' i.e. colleagues)

(Imagine the trevi fountain, or something...)

I've never been to a strip club because 1. there's the chance that seeing some dead-eyed eastern European teenager doing something she hates to just about get by would ruin sexuality for me forever

this is how i'm starting to feel about porn. i've started trying to, you know, not look at it but my imagination is taking a while to do anything when i'm in that mood other than saying "no, i don't want to work just look at lady jiggly bits"

like the only porn where you seem to be guaranteed thats its not all dead-eyed eastern european teenagers is hyper super boob job big budget american stuff, which is v. much not my thing, or sasha gray suicide girls 'look at me i am so subversive' shit which doesn't exactly hit a spot either. so a ever dwindling mind it is.

Strip clubs are really, really good at de-eroticizing naked ladies.

― boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), 2011年02月01日 星期二 上午9:17 (9 hours ago) Bookmark

otmfm

actually, idk, I've never been to one. but I've seen Showgirls. and I'm the guy who sits in the corner at a party hyperanalyzing everything so I already know how it will turn out if I go to a strip club.

I've been once and it is surprising how otm the clichéd clientele in dark glasses and trenchcoats is.

dayo, Showgirls is pretty much exclusively dedicated to de-eroticizing nakedness as a consumable object - i don't think you're alone there!

i used to use porn pretty regularly, but at some point all the free video sites (youporn, redtube, etc.) started featuring ads with girls who were - and I didnt even need to ask for their driver's licences - definitely not 18. so my porn consumption pretty much stopp2ed because I just cant handle that. combination of depressing/sketchy.

however! with all this charlie sheen stuff in the news, I googled up some videos of kacey jordan, the chick whose been on all the news programs talking about the mountains of coke. Kinda had to, ya know?

I've been once and it is surprising how otm the clichéd clientele in dark glasses and trenchcoats is.

― if there is a King Kenny, apparently he is huge into slapstick. (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, February 1, 2011 11:48 AM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark

eh, I've been to many strip clubs and never seen one of these dudes. Where did you encounter this?

The most common strip club patron I've seen is the working stiff nursing a beer and tipping the dancers on stage a few times.

working stiff

beats working

lol tracer, true - otoh the strip club scenes in the wire/entourage have not been titillating either

I've seen a lot of porn but it doesn't do anything for me. I think it is because I am not white and don't really identify with the white people in it. I watch it for the psychology of it, not a whole lot but I have consumed it. Every time I tell someone this they don't believe me. I don't think it's bad or something, it's just not my thing.

shoreditch iirc xpost

I think it is because I am not white and don't really identify with the white people in it.

omg you insensitive racist clod. how dare you insult my people's porn.

if you had any sensitivity you would have tried harder to j/o

I think it is because I am not white and don't really identify with the white people in it.

It's pretty easy to find non-white porn.

yeah, but i really wish someone made porn that catered to guys who like younger-looking women.

i really wish their was porn for absolutely every possible thing

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule%2034

lol

I realized again how true this is from the things I learned on the tmi fetish thread. There truly is something for everyone.

the people in strip clubs who freak me out the most are the guys who sit there staring at the stage with intense, furrowed, unsmiling looks of severe concentration. like they haven't moved from that chair in like 10 days.

yeah those guys always seem rudely difficult to impress.

I am sure I've mentioned this elsewhere on ILX before but that one time I went there was a guy there with his 20-something son who had what looked to be fairly mild-moderate Down Syndrome and I wasn't sure it that was saddest or most awesome thing. I think it was a little of both.

i used to live near this video store that had a ton of porn and these guys would hang out there who i guess were like the porn enthusiast equivalent of guys who hang out in the comic book store getting into heated arguments about star trek tng stuff. except replace Riker w/Belladonna or whatever. so i would always overhear these guys giving their Strong Opinions about such and such actress or how they couldn't wait for the latest installment in some gonzo series to finally arrive on the shelves. also jazz fusion. they were really into jazz fusion and it was always blaring in the store. so that was the soundtrack for these conversations.

There's something so etymologically apt about jazz fusion being the soundtrack to porn discussions.

I consume porn with a certain amount of shame. Although I don't go on binges or consider myself a particularly heavy user, it's still an addiction, I guess, to the extent that i will use it when I need it even though I would choose not to use porn at all, if I thought I could. Gave up on that one long ago. Weird personal factoid: i have never saved any porn to my hd. Sounds like denial huh.

Strip clubs are terrible. It's like, let's go somewere REALLY AWFUL why because boobs.

I feel like "because boobs" could be the answer to many of life's great mysteries.

If I feel any shame about my porn consumption, it's that it's so much easier now that I don't have to go brave a video store full of shifty-eyed punters and bored clerks - the ease of internet porn makes me feel that I used to be somehwat cowardly about my sexual tastes, secretive and given towards the narrative that casts them as shameful. Apparently, one way or another, I am inclined to shame wrt to eroticism, and I'm not really sure where I got that.

Question for older thread denizens: Which was worse, in your experience - going to a regular video store and trying to stealthily slide into the back room (where they kept all the porn) without some mom w/kids seeing you, or going to an actual porn store?

Also, horror story: when I lived in Brooklyn ca. 1989-90, there was a video store I patronized that didn't have a back room for its porn - they were racked with everything else, just sort of slightly segregated (closer to the counter). So when you made for that rack, anybody else in the store could see you the whole time.

i read an interview with a sex therapist who said that the one thing she sometimes lamented about her sex life was that she no longer felt shame around anything having to do with sex anymore, and so she felt like she was missing out on whatever erotic charge may accompany that

so i guess it's something like woody allen's "sex is only dirty if you're doing it right"

going to a regular video store and trying to stealthily slide into the back room (where they kept all the porn)

i never "stealthily slid"... i crawled back there, man

I preferred regular places with a back-room because you don't have to worry about going into one of those places from the street. Once you're inside, you can size up whether that mom + kids are like, your neighbors or whatever. with an actual porn store, I always felt nervous that my boss or someone would be driving by and see me go in. Back when I used to go to these places, I would plan my route so that I would minimize time spent in front of the storefront. it was pretty silly.

my new boss is in another state but if my prior one had ever driven by while I was carrying sex toys I'd have waved them at him

once ran into my highschool girlfriend's dad at a porn store.
i was there to buy a weed pipe. he was there to buy porno.

did you exchange an awk look but not say anything?

"so, Mr. Parker, 'Friday Night Fist Fuck #7', eh? heard that one was a genre staple."

I don't think ironic trashy lols really exist in relation to strip clubs. That's just cover for wanting to see tittehs, imo.

― boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Monday, January 31, 2011 10:52 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Not for me. The first time or two I saw (male) strippers I was into them, but very quickly the experience was at best like a buffet you can't eat. When I went back to strip clubs, it was with straight or lesbian friends for the novelty of being in a trashy dive. We always made sure to tip, though.

I still do un-ironically like Zigfield's Follies (?) near the Navy Yards in D.C. The guys are naked except for socks and/or shoes, they serve drinks, and most if not all of the guys have erections.

Male strippers are usually far less depressing than women. I don't usually feel like they'd rather be elsewhere, or that they have unfair quotas (drinks or lap dances) to meet like the girls in some clubs. (There are exceptions, e.g., the strung out looking twink who would blow you in the bathroom for $20.)

At Zigfields they let patrons handle the erections.

Doesn't surprise me. I've never been in a gay strip club, but just knowing guys (being straight myself, but assuming it's the same for teh gays) I'd assume there are fewer taboos in that setting. Like, if I was going to gay strip club, I'd EXPECT every nude guy there to have an erection...otherwise, wth am I doing there?

Eh, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I can't imagine getting an erection in a strip club.

eh it's pretty easy

imagining it

i've heard

depends...

I can't imagine getting an erection in a strip club.

― I am Woolen Man. The scarf and I are one. (kenan), Wednesday, February 2, 2011 12:07 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

uh.... not even for a lapdance? seriously?

I can't imagine getting an erection in a strip club.

― I am Woolen Man. The scarf and I are one. (kenan), Tuesday, February 1, 2011 7:07 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

do u mean when u are the one dancing?

Apparently, one way or another, I am inclined to shame wrt to eroticism, and I'm not really sure where I got that.

― Le mépris vient de la tête, la haine vient du cœur (Michael White), Wednesday, February 2, 2011 12:13 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark

for me it's the awareness or lack of awareness of the modes of production of the porn - are these people being exploited? idk

I'm waiting for 10, 20 years down the road when sex robots will have been perfected, and sex will truly be guilt-free.

I could not imagine being a able to get an erection if I were stripping!

D.C.'s laws were pretty fucking lax! They served booze AND had full nudity, which is the only place I've seen that. Even in New Orleans the strippers wore underwear or jock straps. (One stripper explained that the city law was that a certain percentage of flesh had to be covered, and that shoes/socks met that requirement.)

I went to a Times Square strip show (The Gaiety theater, RIP) w/ my ex-bf where the strippers had hardons, but there was strictly NO TOUCHING. Tips were placed on the stage.

That was a weird fucking experience. It was very much the classic sleaze and seediness I expected out of Times Square, and we were tripping on really gross, dirty acid.

The guys would come on stage, strip down, leave for a while, then come back with erections, which quickly faded. At the Gaiety, I mean.

(it sounds like i'm showing off my naughty strip club experiences, sorry. i was on the hunt for the sleaziest experiences i could get into for a long time tho.)

i j/o to porn all the time its p cool

The guys are naked except for socks and/or shoes, they serve drinks, and most if not all of the guys have erections.

Okay, this is the most o_O thing in the whole thread. As a former waiter, I can say there is no way I would be able to maintain an erection while dealing with people in that capacity.

Srsly, are the the guys all 15?

viagra

[uh.... not even for a lapdance? seriously?

Seriously, not even for that. I require a certain level of... well... it's hard to say what it is. A certain level of them wanting to fuck me, I think. That seems critical.

Perhaps my suspension of disbelief in erotic situations is broken.

Shit, even Viagra wouldn't keep me hard after dealing with difficult "guests".

xp But that's strip clubs, not porn. Porn is a very useful instrument for pipe cleaning, at the least.

i think i just threw up a little

in kenan's mouth

Two steps back, new rule.

This sounds like George Saunders's story Sea Oak, wihch partly takes place at the male equivalent of Hooters.

Working an eight hour shift erect sounds painful.

Yeah, I thought you were supposed to see a doctor if it lasted more than four hours.

only so he can get you in front of drunk secretaries asap

Can I just say, the idea of an argument btwn fussy customers and angry naked waiter with huge erection is some p fucking hilarious shit.

Abbbbottt we need to make a comic abt this iirc.

shaft work

Working an eight hour shift erect sounds painful.

Like working at a buffet and not being allowed to eat.

lol Stevie I am imagining him balancing the tray on his glans so he can angry-gesticulate more effectively

Can I just say, the idea of an argument btwn fussy customers and angry naked waiter with huge erection is some p fucking hilarious shit.

OK this is cracking me up.

It's like that bit in Carl Hiaasen's "Skinny Dip" where that dude is abt to shoot that girl but he'd just taken some sort of ED pill and the girl's all "You're gonna shoot me and you got some huge fuckin boner? That is some sick shit, man, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

^^^ first time i've ever wanted to read Carl Hiaasen.

Hiaasen is lol and a page-turner

I finally read Sea Oak, the story EZ posted upthread. Not what I expected! I liked the aunt's advice: "...show your cock. It's the shortest line between two points. The world ain't giving away nice lives. You got a trust fund? You a genius? Show your cock. It's what you got. "

The guys at the Zigfield's didn't work 8 hours straight through.

4 hours straight, 4 hours curved

I first wrote "4 hours solid" but thought "straight" was less punny.

a dude named Tony Comstock has been guest-blogging at James Fallows' place at the atlantic for the past week. i'm not familiar with him or his 'erotic documentaries' but his posts have been pretty interesting. here's one of the first ones:

http://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2011/02/sex-law-and-cinema-1934-68/70836/

Must admit that I almost invariably feel better when I take a week or two off from porn. It's hard to take more than that, but I'm going to try again.

just deleted all my porn after reading this article and relating to it just a bit more than i'd like

http://nymag.com/news/features/70976/

oh god

Jonas*, a 34-year-old ad exec, told me, “I get on SpankWire or X Videos—you could carve ice sculptures with my dick. I take a girl home from the bar, though, and I’ll be up for a minute while she’s going down on me, but once I put a condom on and we start going at it, it’s like the Challenger exploded—all the flags are at half-mast.”

indeed

heh reading that article is interrupted by a semi-erotic Dolce & Gabana advertisement. 'how porn is is affecting the concentration span of reading newspaper articles'

the night’s best piece of acting, I’d say, came from me, back at her East Village apartment, after we’d been having sex for about 25 minutes, with Neil Young wailing the song “Comes a Time” from the laptop on her bedside table.

oh dear...

why in the world would someone fuck to neil young

Esp. that album

... I don't think his others would be much of an improvement, in case you're wondrin'

Cums A Time. I gleaned that it was one of the few 'trigger' songs that would help him not lose his boner

oh jesus it's too early in the morning here to read quotes from john mayer's "candid interview with Playboy

i mean, yark

Gonna take a Lotta Love for that (xp)

Ron says that for the past couple of years, he’s had weekly “dates” with his favorite porn stars, which he looks forward to all day and even showers and shaves for, as though preparing for a live-action rendezvous. “Mondays are for Gia Jordan,” he says. “Tuesdays for Sasha Grey.” Wednesdays he has a reprieve—a Portuguese night class. “I always look forward to Thursdays the most—Kasey Kox,” he says. “Then, on the weekends, I hang out with my girlfriend.”

“I love when Kasey is fully clothed and smiling at me from her bed, or I’m doing her from behind,” says Ron, the architecture student. “I get one glimpse of Kasey and I’m so turned on. I get dizzy.”

the problem with this guy is less that he has a porn addiction than that he is completely barking mad.

uhhh yeah

:)

holy shit this article

seems that it's less porn than constant wanking makes the decreased sensitivity of a condom feel unsatisfactory

Surprising that they managed to get Billy Joel to agree to be photographed while whacking off to porn

http://images.nymag.com/news/features/mensex110207_3_560.jpg

... I don't think his others would be much of an improvement, in case you're wondrin'

I dunno, you could get a decent speed along with "My My, Hey Hey"

guy on right trying too hard (at life, not j/o)

(Photo: Phillip Toledano. Casting by Wulf Casting.)

Good morning, Dell, this is Edie from Wulf Casting. I have something you might be interested in, it's a photo shoot in the upper east side. Give me a call back when you get this, I'm going to be out for the bulk of the afternoon, but I'll be checking my voicemail. Ok, bye!

can someone email the writer and confirm that he just made "ron" up to entertain his friends?

wait yelawolf did an interview about porn addiction xpost????

so these dudes are sad because they can't have an orgasm?

i guess women are used to this already. ba-doom-tish.

this article is both sort of hysterical and really depressing at the same time

ha homo i was thinking the same thing

“There’s a failure to distinguish between porn reality and reality reality,” says Monika, 27. “One guy kept shouting at me, ‘Ride the cock, ride the cock!’ I was laughing so hard we had to stop.”

sure there is no shortage of ridiculous stuff in porn, but has anyone actually ever said that in a porn movie or whatever?

And so a conundrum emerges. Men, oversaturated by porn, secretly hunger for the variety that porn offers. Women, noticing a decline in their partners’ libidos, try to reenact the kinds of scenes that men watch on their computer screens. Men, as a result, get really freaked out. They don’t want their real women and their fantasy women to inhabit the same body. Or, as Ron analogizes: “Remember Ghostbusters? How in love Bill Murray was with Dana, the Sigourney Weaver character? He feels lucky to even get her to agree to a date with him, but then when he shows up at her door, she’s possessed by demons, floating four feet above her bed, begging him to fuck her brains out. And he’s completely rattled by it and can’t get out of there fast enough. Well, that’s what it’s like when your girlfriend suddenly starts acting like a porn queen. You’re like, ‘Baby, where’d you go? I just want my girlfriend back.’ ”

so, american men have whore/madonna complex. never would have imagined...

By WalktheHorizon on 01/31/2011 at 1:24am
I want to say that Ron doesn't speak for all men. I enjoy porn almost every day, and my girlfriend has never been sexier than she was the last time we did it, a couple days ago. We often do it every day of the week. We don't just f*** either. We make slow love sometimes, sometimes on the kitchen counter, sometimes on the floor. I do think that condoms suck, and if I wore them with her my sex life might sound like yours. We are in a loving and committed relationship, and if you want really fulfilling, sometimes nasty, always tasty sex I think that is one of the surest ways to be. The greatest passion comes from real connection, at least for us, and the greatest sex is made of real passion.

ewww

your sex sounds like an olive garden commercial ffs

have only faked it once or twice when i was really drunk and tired and had stuff to do in the morning and just wanted to finish so i could pass out

... not that anyone asked

the thing about masturbating is that after you do it you are not as horny + have less spunk inside of you

i mean this shit is really not that complicated, is it?

We're definitely at a weird point in time where people, especially young men, are probably more likely to have *seen* people having sex so many times before actually having sex. I mean, we had stupid shit like the American Pie movie over a decade ago (seriously, a movie title based on a one-scene joke of a dude trying to figure out what a vagina feels like) but I think by now the porn sexual experience is even more normalized.

Kept waiting while reading that article for a guy to say he wishes he'd never watched porn, but it never quite happens.

http://www.onlineusanews.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Bohemian-Rhapsody.jpg
"Sometimes wish I'd never watched porn at all!"
<Brian May guitar solo>