new euphemisms

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(I'm sure this has been done before, but it is *endlessly* entertaining)

Give me a phrase that sounds like it's a euphemism. DO NOT SAY WHAT IT IS A EUPHEMISM FOR, let others suggest. this is a game i am playing today.

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Stirring another man's custard.

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

dunking the teabag! (nb i have no idea what this teabagging malarkey that you lot keep going on about is and i have NO WISH TO.) (nb also Mr Perry to thread, obv!)

― katie, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

you don't want to know Katie.

I can't think of any euphemisms right now!

― jel --, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

When Richmond (AFL, Aussie Rules) appointed their umpteenth new coach in recent times, Jeff Geischen, in late 1997, there was a massive marketing campaign centred on the slogan 'Unleash the Geisch!' First time I heard it I thought it was the latest euphemism for a particular activity, and when the Geisch was unleashed on his ear just two years later I began wondering if I had actually been right.

― BJ, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

"follow the van" (does anyone remember BB3?)

― jel --, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Hitch-hiking in Australia.

Rehearsing for the part of Jack Horner.

Pushing a tack into a table-top.

Making a decision in the colleseum.

Representing Godley & Creme's second best single.

― Pete, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

hoovering the back stairs.

taking care of Bislet.

soldering the resistor.

― chris, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Mother Knows Best.

paying a visit to Colchester.

marching through Georgia.

― DV, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Chewing the pen cap.

― Alex M, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Marking the page

Kneeding the dough

― jel --, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Juggling the mangos.

Crossing the streams.

Lobbing the 'keeper.

― Alex M, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

asking for Victoria.

catching up on some correspondence.

nibbling some curried chips.

― DV, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Eating out at Pret A Manger.

― Alex M, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

googling yourself

― Tim, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Leaving Planet Greenspun.

― Colin Meeder, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Unpacking my library

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Trapped in the attic

― jel --, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Housekeeping the inbox

Filing a tax return (same as 'doing a Schedule D')

Wheelspinning the people-carrier

Degaussing the VDU

― robster, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

rusty trombone, greek picasso.

― Chris, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Bargain Hunt

Belle and Sebastian Mailing List

― Tim, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The shoes of the fisherman's wife.

― Douglas, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Bouncing the box.

Pinging the box.

Rebuilding the box.

― Sam, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

he was jade to her meowth

― mark s, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Flipping the switch
Pointing and clicking
Marching on Prussia
Snackin' on the Tender Vittles

― Dan Perry, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Perrying the euphemism.

― Ronan, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Dripping the batter

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

unrolling the carpet.

― DV, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Haligonian Man Chowder.

Taking the last train to reality.

― kate, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

All-purpose: "I'd like to [repeat previous sentence verb] her [repeat previous sentence object]." In action:

"He's been trapped in the attic!"
"I wouldn't mind getting trapped in her attic."

― nabisco, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

There should be bonus points for producing a euphemism that uses your own name. For example: Pulling a Perry.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Variant on Nabisco's entry: My wife's mother used to threaten discipline when the kids were pestering her for something by saying, "I'll *blank* your *blank*!" She stopped doing this after a car ride where, after being pestered for several minutes about going to 7-11 to get Slurpees, she exasperatedly shouted, "I'll slurp your pee!" This is the height of comedy to an 8-year-old and a 6-year-old (and a 29-year-old, as Joei learned when she told me the story).

― Dan Perry, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Tracer's all-purpose innuendo generator: if somebody says they'll do something, say "i BET you will!" (change slightly to fit tense, etc) i.e. "I just slurped pee" --> "I BET you did!" hmm

― Tracer hand, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

[To]throw a grenade under [one's] tank

― Ellie, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan, my mother used to do "I'll [blank] your little head" -- this would not have worked in your situation as Slurpeeing your little head was precisely what you wanted to do.

― nabisco, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

rebooting the hard drive

block sender

― brg30, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

cheap as chips

― chris, Friday, 16 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

playing with yr tascam.

― di, Saturday, 17 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

learning transcendental meditation

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 17 August 2002 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

implementing the Schlieffen Plan.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 18 August 2002 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

"rubbing [one's] genitals," which has to be said with visible air quotes, as in "I'm going to go 'rub my genitals' now." As in, it's obviously a euphemism for something inconceivably gross...

― douglas, Sunday, 18 August 2002 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

err..

― mark p (Mark P), Sunday, 18 August 2002 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh go tank your puss.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 19 August 2002 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

making subtle digs at the clergy

― rainy, Tuesday, 20 August 2002 02:06 (twenty-two years ago)

katie you should see the movie 'pecker'

― ron (ron), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 02:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"tastebuds"

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 27 August 2002 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Tim is lord and master of this thread!

"I want to mount your hard drive."

"I'll finger your account later on."

"Ram drive."

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Tuesday, 27 August 2002 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Getting Barbara to give you a hand with the washing up.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 2 September 2002 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like to perne in his gyre.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 2 September 2002 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Taking Tiger mountain "By strategy".

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"seen the panties"

― Graham (graham), Friday, 6 September 2002 08:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Making toasters

― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 6 September 2002 08:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Handling a ferret.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 6 September 2002 08:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Box of wine.

― petra jane (petra jane), Saturday, 7 September 2002 08:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I've filed the report.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Saturday, 7 September 2002 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Filling the stapler

Flipping the pancake

Taking the dog for a walk

Crashing the hard drive

― C J (C J), Saturday, 7 September 2002 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Having a shag with someone.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 9 September 2002 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

playing the Faroes

― chris (chris), Monday, 9 September 2002 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"take me for a pint"

"vampire with a soul"

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 9 September 2002 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"Muffling the boom"

― Andrew Thames, Monday, 9 September 2002 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"chasing my chips with her chocolate buttons"

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 9 September 2002 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"Ismap Border"- it must mean something PRETTY HOT as the klez-g virus seemed sure I'd open it.

― Andrew Thames, Monday, 9 September 2002 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Eggy soldiers.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 9 September 2002 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Daddy's sauce.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 9 September 2002 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"How did you first discover the joys of ILX?"

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 9 September 2002 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

a visit to glasscock island

― Alan (Alan), Monday, 9 September 2002 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

being a bit about hats

― Sam (chirombo), Monday, 9 September 2002 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"So I understand you've been...searching for truffles?"

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 9 September 2002 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"live at budokan"

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 10 September 2002 04:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"Fingering her rosary" - seen in the NZ Catholic

― Elisabeth, Tuesday, 10 September 2002 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

watching porn at magnus's house

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 10 September 2002 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

two weeks pass...

"Pudding package"

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 27 September 2002 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Aaron Carter's Speargun

(no, I don't have pictures)

― Graham (graham), Friday, 27 September 2002 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

EW GRAHAM!

My favorite of the day has been "Roger Rabbit".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 September 2002 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Filling N's house with sloppy oatmeal

― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 27 September 2002 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Inspecting his biological weapon of mass destruction

― Queen G (Queeng), Friday, 27 September 2002 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Substituting fish for beef

― Aaron A., Friday, 27 September 2002 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

OK, like, totally REVIVE, dude. And for my first euphemism of the day, inspired by What's the dealio with Cats:

'The Rum Tum Tugger'

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 25 March 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Sand down the ol' love log (new?).

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 25 March 2003 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

ow.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 25 March 2003 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

http://xroads.virginia.edu/~UG02/yeung/actioncomics/cover.html

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 25 March 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

oops, clipboard madness

http://b3ta.com/challenge/euphemisms/

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 25 March 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

ten months pass...

Actor Colin Farrell is recovering from foot injury in Bangkok
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Colin Farrell was recovering from a foot injury after he slipped and fell on the stairway of his Bangkok hotel over the weekend, his publicist said Monday. The 27-year-old actor is in Thailand filming the epic Alexander.
Farrell was fitted with a cast and released from a hospital, publicist Susan Patricola said. He went back to the set Monday and filming for the movie was expected to wrap up in two days, she said.
Farrell stars as the Macedonian conqueror Alexander the Great in the film, along with Angelina Jolie, Anthony Hopkins and Jared Leto.

filming the epic Alexander. = enjoying the services of teenage hookers

slipped and fell on the stairway of his Bangkok hotel over the weekend = was beat up for trying to get celebrity discount

― My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

the queen's beef

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

tatu's vulgar euphemism!: "be fucking delighted with me"

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Fingering the fretboard

Uploading to the iPod.

Posting to ILE.

― Johnney B, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

There actually was a news item about Colin and a young prostitute in the gossip columns. *googles*

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

has anyone here read Ted Heller's Funny Men? that's what happened to Colin's foot!!!

― My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

it was in the sf examiner earlier in the week.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"blowing into the reverse-Slurpee"

― Kingfish Beatbox Botox Funktion (Kingfish), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/fastshow/characters/images/arthur_atkinson.jpg

I said - I've seen you wrapping presents when it's nobody's birthday

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 21 July 2005 16:38 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, man, am I ever scraping dice today.

Plus, if I don't back a notch off Tab-A, I'm going to have to chuck these serutan.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Thursday, 21 July 2005 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

"digging for worms in the neighbor's yard"
"checking out the produce"

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 21 July 2005 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

excavating the graveyard

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 21 July 2005 17:54 (nineteen years ago)

"writing a song for the Bangles"

― darin (darin), Thursday, 21 July 2005 20:06 (nineteen years ago)

"Roughing up the usual suspects."

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 21 July 2005 23:46 (nineteen years ago)

"doin a little research"

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 22 July 2005 18:36 (nineteen years ago)

"blowing in the wind"

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 22 July 2005 18:42 (nineteen years ago)

Ha: Felicity upthread has totally started me thinking on "widening [the / his / her] gyre."

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 22 July 2005 18:49 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

exchanging currency

― gabbneb, Monday, 10 September 2007 23:28 (seventeen years ago)

wildcatting on the derricks

― gabbneb, Monday, 10 September 2007 23:34 (seventeen years ago)

digging to china

― gabbneb, Monday, 10 September 2007 23:35 (seventeen years ago)

getting to yes

― gabbneb, Monday, 10 September 2007 23:37 (seventeen years ago)

diving for pearls

― gabbneb, Monday, 10 September 2007 23:39 (seventeen years ago)

posting off-topic

― gabbneb, Monday, 10 September 2007 23:39 (seventeen years ago)

two months pass...

"i've got visitors"

it's real btw

― whatever, Wednesday, 14 November 2007 21:40 (seventeen years ago)

i'm waiting for Superbad to premiere in my region of The Netherlands

BEST EUPHEMISM EVER

-- Mark C, Friday, 9 November 2007 11:26 (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

― Just got offed, Thursday, 15 November 2007 14:07 (seventeen years ago)

xpost do they itch?

― nathalie, Thursday, 15 November 2007 14:11 (seventeen years ago)

hogging the aisle

― wanko ergo sum, Thursday, 15 November 2007 14:14 (seventeen years ago)

scarfing the lumpy gravy

― snoball, Thursday, 15 November 2007 14:20 (seventeen years ago)

desperately seeking susan

― braveclub, Thursday, 15 November 2007 14:21 (seventeen years ago)

brunch on the Isle of Man

― wanko ergo sum, Thursday, 15 November 2007 14:32 (seventeen years ago)

watering another mans crop

― Heave Ho, Thursday, 15 November 2007 15:07 (seventeen years ago)

newphemism = euphemism for new euphemism

ok it's not really a euphemism.

― s1ocki, Thursday, 15 November 2007 15:07 (seventeen years ago)

Cocoa beans from Hackney

― Will M., Thursday, 15 November 2007 15:13 (seventeen years ago)

muddling papaya

― wanko ergo sum, Thursday, 15 November 2007 15:17 (seventeen years ago)

ok it's not really a euphemism.

it's a euphonyism

― snoball, Thursday, 15 November 2007 15:33 (seventeen years ago)

you mean a neuphonyism

― s1ocki, Thursday, 15 November 2007 15:36 (seventeen years ago)

you mean a neuphonyism

If you're going to split hairs then I'm going to parade the green tartan donkey anticlockwise around East Anglia.

― snoball, Thursday, 15 November 2007 15:40 (seventeen years ago)

visitors don't itch

― whatever, Friday, 16 November 2007 16:14 (seventeen years ago)

Hutting the Jabba

― Mark C, Friday, 16 November 2007 17:31 (seventeen years ago)

Chudding the saturated fat

― Will M., Friday, 16 November 2007 17:34 (seventeen years ago)

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