Terminator 5, aka Terminator Genisys

Great.

:/

if we let him run for president will he not-do-this fo us

No, no, this could work. Picture, if you will: a nanoswarm, created by the human resistance to infect the Skynet manufacturing plants, which triggers a line of doughy and ineffectual Terminators that have to stop mid-pursuit to catch their breath and adjust their trusses? It could be a hoot and a half.

he said he'd be back

"I have extensive piles."

this is where i mention one more time my sad dream of arnold in one last conan movie as the aging usurper king trying to hold together a fractured country that hates him. get john milius to write it! come on, life is short, let's do this.

"I have extensive piles."

hahaha, misread this as "explosive piles"

Im with goole here. The last Terminator was one dull, lousy movie.

Someone's seen Tron 2 and wants Arnie as the older version of whichever human dude the Terminator is based on, with a CGI-ified younger Arnie as the robot, I'm guessing.

I guess he could play the aging human that was the template for the T-101(?).

I read this as Terminal 5 and I was about to go on a rant about that shitty venue.

I read this as Terminal 5 and I was about to go on a rant about that shitty airport terminal.

Terminator Salvation had some great graphics

no it didn't

But it did have a giant robot that shit motorcycles.

that's true, I'd forgotten about those

they sucked, yet were awesome

http://comicbook.com/blog/2014/08/06/terminator-5-is-officially-titled-terminator-genisys/

"Plot details are scarce, but the film is rumored to be giving the franchise a soft reboot through the use of time travel, a staple narrative mechanic of the series."

let me guess, they're going to send another terminator back to 1984 so that Sarah now has to battle an army of terminators while only having Kyle Reese to fend them off?

I'm no doubt the only person in North America who cares about this but I'm hoping it continues the continuity from Sarah Connor Chronicles

haha i would have cared, back in 2009, see also Anticipate Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles with someone else...

On March 13, 2014, it was reported that J.K. Simmons was in talks for a role as a weary and alcoholic detective who has followed a bizarre case involving Sarah Connor and robots for more than three decades.[7] On March 25, 2014, Schwarzenegger revealed that he is indeed playing a Terminator character, in which human tissue has aged.[38]

I am probably the only human who liked Terminator Salvation or whatever it was called.

Oh dear god.

http://io9.com/terminator-genisys-insane-plot-reveal-is-a-total-nightm-1652315938

oh god terminator dad?

YOUNG LADY, I NEED YOU TO CHANGE YOUR BOOTS AND YOUR CLOTHES

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR EYES?

Daaaad!!!!!

psyched for the Doctor Who crossover

Talk to the hand, Terminator 5.

mother of dwagons and connors

Genisys and other trending baby names for 2015

Would prefer "Terminator: Genesis."
http://www.stereogum.com/img/regenesis_genesis.jpg

Terminator 6: R'vylāshönz

Terminator: 90s Startup

considering terminator salvation and t3 did pretty even money, and considering arnold's latest films have bombed horribly, i'm not sure why they're bending over backwards to explain his creaky old ass being in this thing

"hasta la vista, baby. have a nice day at school!"

Terminator 6: R'vylāshönz

Sarah Connor was a Terminator all along!

"I'll be back...with pizza!"

xpost When I started reading rumors of a really awful plot development in the new one, that's honestly the first thing I thought of.

i'd love to see the pie-chart of how many people involved in this movie a) didn't know how to spell the word genesis b) thought the misspelling looked cool and c) straight-up did not give a fuck.

No, "Dave" cannot sleep over. My programming is to protect you.

sry these are all horribly formed "jokes"

90% of all dialogue from Schwarzenegger's film career consists of horribly formed "jokes", so it's fitting.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/nba/nba/.element/media/2.0/teamsites/pistons/genisys_400.gif

http://media.aintitcool.com/media/uploads/2014/merrick/b1meupucyaetud5.jpg-large_large.jpeg

Ooh, scary.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Q9kmpLAw4k4/TzI8ltje6xI/AAAAAAAAAJE/RDRC2luN6X0/s1600/u2-bono.jpg

Hahaha

I see they're going for gravitas.

If they're not aiming for comedy...it will be anyway.

is that, like, a propane gun?

It's a super soaker.

Anyway

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62E4FJTwSuc

wait so the clothes aren't stripped off of them by time travel, they have to get naked before being sent back in time?

and also they make dude parade around naked for a while before sending him back?

"It's timey-wim--" "Shut it."

What, they don't make dudes parade around naked for a while where you're from?

Clothing exists in a fixed point in time.

I'm from MN, the only naked ppl you're going to see will be jumping into a freezing cold like in a second

er, lake

stupid fingers

what a useless pile this movie will be

http://i36.tinypic.com/ezpffp.jpg

You have to purify yourself in the waters of the Los Angeles River.

kinda like the idea of arnold divebombing into helicopter blades, that's fun

It's good that they went with a really aggressive teal & orange colour palette. Makes it really stand out.

seeing as he was sending Kyle Reese back in time to bang his mom, he's probably wanted to check the equipment was in working order

So Kyle Reese vanishes into the past;

everyone looks at each other and shrugs, given that it's evidently made sod all difference;

and then they auction his underpants

WHICH WAS MAYBE THE WHOLE POINT ALL ALONG

in the future, mankind will be represented in the great war against the machines by underpants gnomes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGSxss7gWak

yeah, just try to explain this one!

I wish they'd gotten Robert Patrick to play the T-1000 and called it Grumpy Old Terminators

so john connor is the ultimate terminator made of dust and old arnie fights new arnie? whatevah man

um nanotechnology hello

I think this looks batshit crazy and has a low chance of being good, but even I recognize nanotech!!!

fwiw I am a terrible nerdo and I read the recent comic that takes place after that Christian Bale Terminator film, and... he still ends up part-Terminator in that one

So this summer we can either watch a movie full of references to Terminator 2 or... maybe just watch Terminator 2???

it's okay that i don't "recognize nanotech", i promise

xp Actually on that basis this movie will probably be better than T3 and T4.

tbh I watched it the first time and thought "why is that MRI pulling a bunch of chips of broken pottery out of him?"

wait, pottery you say?

:)

this looks so horrible and i say that as someone who loved the TV show and has half-heartedly defended at least half of the third one

This was so bad.

Visually bland, too. Shot and lit like a mid-90s TV show.

A better title would have been Canadian Terminator

The casting director should have been fired

This was SO GOOD!!!

It was a very good retro movie, lots of fan service, callbacks to the best parts of Terminator 1 & 2. Lots of red lasers looking right out of an 80s arcade game with shiny classic T-100 exoskeletons looking awesome. Getting to see a CGI young Arnold in some lost 80s Terminator movies is so cool! It's so well done!

The design of the movie more than makes up for the colorless, dry, last movie. Colorful lasers and computer lights everywhere. There was one part where they were firing up the time travel machine (Dr. Who's Matt Smith makes an appearance in here) and the screen panned across a console with pixellated graphics.

If you are a fan of the first two movies this will not disappoint! Definitely Top 3 Terminator Movies.

The twist that was spoiled in the trailer is no big problem either, since he only re-enters the picture shortly before that point anyways. Is this Hard Sci Fi? It deals w some cool post-human people-machine issues.

Arnold is great. So cool to see young CGI alt Arnold, done way better than in that T4. This movie is full of cool little touches tho. That psychiatrist dude. The punk rockers when alt young Arnold gets to 1984. Very Final Fight that sequence.

The bases were a lot like Far Cry: Blood Dragon. So cool.

I LOL'd at the Inner Circle drop.

Emilia Clarke is the best!

The first 30 minutes of this is fucking gold. A flashy Hollywood montage of Contra cutscenes.

Not going to bother with the next few in the series but I'll definitely go see Terminator X.

They should do one that takes place entirely in the 80s and have CGI young Arnold team up with CGI young Mr. T.

this movie is pure fanfiction and is kind of garbage

like the fan service-y parts were the only great moments and the rest of it is terminator 2 but way shittier and with devices

Yes but the fan service-y parts were like 90% of the movie!

This movies KNOWS it is definitely trashy and TV-ish and kind of garbage and is the 2nd most fun entry because of that.

I really liked the reaction shots of the main bad Terminator at the end, like after he is pinned to the wall with the giant pipe and he has to pull his body through it and it is ruining his day.

Or when they are hanging from that ridiculous school bus crash and he swings himself in front of their view of the water with one hand.

The rifftrax on this will be amazing.

Kind of blowing my mind how bad the reviews are for this. People criticizing the movie as "cynical nostalgia". This was way less cynical than the Avengers but people love the heck out of that.

Seeing this the day after Mad Max reinforced what utter shit it was. They had a great opportunity early on, when they meticulously restaged scenes from the first film, to just cut to the original movie and play it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXJiSZhA5cg

Jai Courtney

what's the all about?

also you're insane Adam

LOL maybe. I had some special candy before the movie and was primed for some silly fun.

lol that's kind of a material disclosure

iirc with edibles in the mix TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON > CITIZEN KANE ~and it's not even close~

I don't think so tried it w the last Terminator and was bored senseless.

i am forever amazed that anybody saw the last Terminator. not like in a "how could anyone be so stupid" sense but just like, i don't think i've ever talked to anybody IRL who saw it. it just looked so gray and blah.

It was a masterpiece compared to this one

I genuinely can't remember a thing about Salvation

almost like it...never happened

The Christian Bale one was bad but it had some cool visuals/production design...this one was just bland and flat-looking. Even the effects were bad. They could have been from that Terminator TV show from a few years ago

Oh did I forget to mention that in this one

🚨:: SPOILER ALERT! ::🚨

SKYNET IS AN APP

🚨:: SPOILER ALERT! ::🚨

a killer app, so to speak

do they explain how the app gets the nuclear launch codes? would be great if it's just buried down in the fine print of the terms of agreement and some general is just like "yes yes i accept, whatever"

he probably didn't care because it linked up all his mobile devices

This was the Van Halen 3 of Terminator flicks

Jai Courtney ...if he was Reese, mankind might as well pack it in.

Also loved the car chase that looked like a Screensaver from 1995

It'd be kind of neat if they'd been deliberately making the Reeses and Johns less and less compelling with each new re-casting - like The Green Futures of Tycho, where repeated time travel seems to just poison the timeline and turn the main character into more of a monster with each new attempt to alter fate.

Jai Courtney: the poor man's Sam Worthington

"So the Resistance is going to kidnap Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese, send them back to 1984, erase their memories, have them fall in love, meet up in a shady hotel room, and have sex at the exact time and second that they did before, even down to the exact moment that Kyle Reese ejaculated, and thus create the exact same John Connor, down to the very sperm and very egg that were used."

^ from that Scientist Man video. Is this really the plot of the movie?

No. Sadly.

Yes but the fan service-y parts were like 90% of the movie!

really, more like 20 percent

character of sarah connor is so inert and blank in this movie, really a shame

Yea. We have a Kyle Reese who likes spray tans and lifting and a Sarah Connor who just isn't into him.

And a T-800 with hemorrhoids and arthritis

so do they explain why a robot man is visibly aging?

but is skynet freemium?

The skin it regenerates is human, so the tissue naturally ages. The robot underneath doesn't corrode.

so that's a no?

character of sarah connor is so inert and blank in this movie, really a shame

Also they completely wasted Matt Smith - assuming they just got him to boost their time travel cred.

What this time travelling robot movie doesn't make sense /s

It also wasn't fun.

Sorry to hear that I had a blast my friend too.

I saw it in 2d did you do 3d?

Hell no

Lol at people freaking out 8 months ago at the twist that this Sarah Connor's been raised by Schwarzenegger from a young age - the real twist is that this is the one relationship in the movie that works, and provides one of the best non-action scenes.

That is of course largely because it has nothing to do with Jai Courtney - dear Hollywood, please stop trying to make Jai Courtney happen.

The action scenes are alright? They're better than 90% of the talking scenes. The kids-smashing-toys ones are similarly better than the feeling and shooting ones.

Stop Emasculating Sarah Connor!

But we're going to get at least two more of these, because the rights revert to Cameron in 2019.

One of the writers (don't know whether it's the one who wrote Drive Angry or the one that wrote Night Watch) has clearly had Technology explained to them by their young child.

this is where i mention one more time my sad dream of arnold in one last conan movie as the aging usurper king trying to hold together a fractured country that hates him. get john milius to write it! come on, life is short, let's do this.

― goole, Wednesday, 27 April 2011 17:47 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The Age of Conan, written by the writer of the Fast and Furious series, has been announced?

Haha The Age of Conan would be a great title ("whatever you do, do not mention Conan's grey hairs") - it's actually the Legend.

"Pop" the Terminator trying to get Kyle and SArah to fuck for 30 minutes was hella weird.

half expected him to start playin Marvin Gaye thru a boombox in his chest or something

I also don't know anybody who's seen "Salvation" but according to Wikipedia there is "a mute child named Star" in it, this cannot possibly actually be true, can it?

Renaming this movie Germinator: Tennis

So the screenwriters intentionally left out the big question of who the fuck sent 'Pops' to save for a sequel? And Matt Smith was from another dimension? Fuck these people.

What with the what now (re: smith)?

I also don't know anybody who's seen "Salvation" but according to Wikipedia there is "a mute child named Star" in it, this cannot possibly actually be true, can it?

i have somehow seen this terrible movie twice because i am an awful garbage person, and i can confirm this was true both times

i've also just remembered the planned ending for salvation: john connor dies but his terminator buddy decides the resistance needs a living john connor to motivate them, so he takes connor's skin and wears it over his endoskeleton, fooling everyone into believing connor still lives. worst cosplay ever imo

What is the moment that changes this new timeline? What’s the thing that got altered to prevent this from being just a remake, essentially?

Laeta Kalogridis: Skynet. You see in the beginning. He grabs John. He’s not from this timeline. He’s from an alternate universe, in the multiverse, another of the many universes that exist. That Skynet is not from that timeline.

Patrick Lussier: It is the understanding that for Skynet, finally realizing that “I cannot just wipe out the humans, I can never defeat the humans unless I have the best weapon that humans have, and that is him.”

Laeta Kalogridis: Or, more simply put, if you have a Skynet that has witnessed multiple iterations of the rise of the machines, which Skynet has…

Patrick Lussier: And being wiped out over and over…

Laeta Kalogridis: This Skynet has been to this universe, and this universe, and this universe. That’s why he says, “I came a very long way to stop you.” He’s not from here. So he’s watched it. He’s watched it happen a bunch of different times, and each time he’s seen it there is a different result but the same result.

So Skynet [Matt Smith] can now hop between dimensions?

Laeta Kalogridis: This particular Skynet, from another place. This Skynet – not from the original two movies – can.

That's how we introduce the wookies...

terminator vs aliens vs predator vs robocop vs superman vs muppet babies

I keep awaiting a future where everybody is John Connor due to the time-fuckery

I missed the explanation of how the time machine in 1984 came to be there. Did Pops build it between 1973 and then?

Enjoyed Arnie being lumbered with all the long-winded technical dialogue. Jai's responses didn't work at all / ruined the joke though.

The skin it regenerates is human, so the tissue naturally ages. The robot underneath doesn't corrode.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Sunday, July 12, 2015 11:33 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok, fine. but why is he fatter

maria shriver is an excellent cook

Haven't seen this yet, but tbh I'm loving the idea of a movie where you could leave, having enjoyed it, and then a day or so later wonder "hmm, but where did the main characters get a time machine?" You'd think that would be a bigger deal.

I think there's a point in the movie where they say it doesn't really matter when time travel is invented, cos once it is they can just go back in time with the tech and teach it to people in an earlier timeline.

"What do we want?" "Working time travel" "When do we want it?" "It doesn't matter!

lol

watched this last night and jesus christ it is terrible.

my favourite 'wtf?!?' part is when john connor shows up in the present day and reese doesn't bother to ask how he survived being mauled by skynet right as reese was heading into the past - and this is right after reese and sarah have had their 64th conversation about how infiltration units mean you can't trust anyone. kyle reese, you are a fucking idiot.

i think this was the first thing i've ever seen jai courtney in. i don't think i've ever seen a less charismatic screen presence. he makes sam worthington look like cary grant.

Definitely. And michael biehn was muscly but wiry, like the physical form of a man whod been fighting and running for years. Courtney looked like a doofus who has spent his whole life oiling himself in a gym.

Which is what he is, right.

other things that bugged / annoyed / horrified me:

- they went to some lengths to keep the t-1000's morphing effects fairly consistent with they way they looked in t2, right up until it was being held under the acid and the fx guys just went 'fuck it' and subbed in a bunch of horrible-looking cgi as it cycled through its previous faces. also, why the fuck wasn't schwarzenegger's arm melted off by the acid?
- are we to assume that the t-1000 who killed sarah's parents then spent more than a decade trying to kill her? that doesn't reflect well on either the terminator or sarah tbh
- they play the cops theme tune when the heroes are getting their mugshots taken ffs!
- lol at poor matt smith getting like a total of 60 seconds of screen time
- schwarzenegger's austrian accent seems to have got more pronounced in recent years, which is a pretty impressive achievement after living for the better part of half a century in the usa.

and finally:

- WHO THE FUCK SENT BACK THE 'POPS' TERMINATOR? It's never explained!

oh, and one more thing - the scariness of the terminator exoskeleton is pretty much totally undermined when filmmakers choose to put them behind the wheel of a truck or manning a security post. terminators are fuckin' terrifying killing machines, not blue-collar regular joes doing mundane jobs and counting down until retirement

This was really just a romantic comedy featuring Terminators

It's too bad the sequels are likely canceled. The next one could feature a Los Angeles so overrun by Terminators that the robots have their own city.

romantic comedy suggests it had moments of romance and amusement, though, and it didn't - the closest it came was a naked couple awkwardly mashing their junk together while floating in a time portal and arnold saying 'theoretically' nine hundred times

Erections achieved

terminator: genisys gave you a boner?

Nah. This movie could be fun for a Rifftrax tho

as a longtime nerd, will i find anything to enjoy or pass?

You'll enjoy the ridiculousness of it. Or if not then you'll enjoy nerdfully picking apart the time-space plot holes.

Kind of sad they won't make a sequel to this that everyone can point at and feel superior to.

obviously, i thought it was terrible, but it's not going to retroactively affect my enjoyment of the first couple of movies or anything. it's probably worth a watch if you keep your expectations increidbly low and you're not going to have a nerd-rage aneurism about the movie ripping up the admittedly already fairly tattered) terminator universe rulebook

You'll enjoy the ridiculousness of it. Or if not then you'll enjoy nerdfully picking apart the time-space plot holes.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, October 9, 2015 4:39 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's just it though. I couldn't give a fuck about "plot holes" - the story on its face never stood up to close examination to begin with. The idea of humans being able to survive in post-nuclear annihilation ruins with barely any tangible food and somehow win a war with robots with superior firepower was always far-fetched.

the mythos is part of what made the first Terminator movies great, but the whole reason T1 is superior to T2 is because they don't spend a fucking half an hour talking about it. Reese gets it out of the way, and we move on with the movie.

Really, the problem with the newest Terminator is that it's so god-damned SILLY. The script is peppered with cornball "wink wink" jokes that make it sound like the screenwriters aren't taking it seriously, which is a cop out. Jai Courtney is just a black hole, one of the most boring actors in recent memory. I love Emilia Clarke, but she was completely wrong for Sarah Connor. She came across as a stroppy twenty-something with Adult Problems more than some beleaguered soldier.

The action sequences were also completely terrible. There was one car chase that looked like a screensaver from Windows 95, the CGI was so bad. the ending sequence was so protracted and ridiculous.

T1 survived on tight action sequences, great character moments (Reece's nightmares of war in the car, his bewilderment at pre-war life, Sarah's gradual transition to being a badass), the humor's there when it needs to be ("FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE"). T2 lost a little in its bombast but still had some iconic scenes, advanced CGI (for the time), well-choreographed chase scenes...

This movie was just a bunch of fucking white people running around for 2 hours

I wanted some sweet fan fiction and they take out a T-800 and T-1000 in the first forty-five minutes. Good enough.

this is my dad's favourite movie of the year

would make a great twofer with Pixels

that's just mean

every franchise gets the Batman & Robin it deserves

tho of all the franchises to find itself in dire need of a grim'n'gritty reboot...

they should get Cristiano Ronaldo to play a T-3000

Really, the problem with the newest Terminator is that it's so god-damned SILLY.

No, all these movies are silly. That is not the problem with this film.

This one is almost entirely shot like a television show - every frame is straight out of a mid-00s ensemble cop series, pick your favorite CSI / NCIS / L&O etc. Even the cast are all TV people! I cannot figure out what they spent the money on, unless it just costs a lot more to rent the Golden Gate Bridge than I think it does.

- they play the cops theme tune when the heroes are getting their mugshots taken ffs!

me otm tbh

yep. also did you ever find out where Pops came from? I'm struggling with that one too

Boston.

i’m sure it’ll be explained in the sequel

imo they just send people and terminators in a haphazard fashion as the future is constantly changing

feel like this would make a good board game. spend three metal points to build a terminator, spend one energy point to send him back to some time in the past which earns you two victory points. where do the terminators go? who cares! what matters is sending them.

it could be battleship-style, but with the caveat you can move the ships around

eventually every single character except sarah connor is a terminator

spoiler alert: at the end it turns out sarah was a super-advanced terminator all along, capable of reproduction, and skynet impregnates her and gives birth to itself

has anybody watched this pile of shit a second time?

Guilh

Guilty, i meant

Pretty sure I bought it a second time (albeit for about 50p) because I couldn't remember if I'd seen it.

Still enjoy the terminator cutting his way through Border Patrol motherfuckers like a knife through butter

that’s in dark fate! dark fate is a pretty good movie

Oh! Genisys is the one with gym-toned dumbfuck Kyle Reese! I'd forgotten that one existed.