How often do you hate monkeys

I'm torn between seldom and never. I can't think of any instances where I've hated them, but I want to leave myself some wiggle room.

voted always
I also always hate apes

monkeys are awesome

can't think of a single instance of a monkey doing something which has negatively impacted my life, so never, I guess

i used to live near a zoo, and you could hear monkeys, i think they were lemurs or something? making unearthly noises like a siren or some electronic device at five in the morning. it made roosters seem positively prehistoric, it did

I'm already on record for "Always" iirc. And you can expand list to all primates, too.

Monkeys are awesome, apes slightly less awesome but still cool.

GIS'ing "cute monkey" and getting a thousand pictures of baby chimps pisses me off.

shakey otm

I hated monkeys for about two days last year because they were horrible bastards, other than that monkeys are ace

monkeys are generally the most fun type of animal to watch when you're at the zoo

^insanity! have you not heard of otters?

Monkeys are great and apes are amazing.

No, because they're gross. Also there are otters.

XXP OMGS

Why I otter...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uB-0D-gV8mY/SIq2Z8UBu3I/AAAAAAAAKfk/YOtM7msazic/s400/the+higsons

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2350/1924066350_c1861d78e4_m.jpg

me facing down an Indian monkey

aw

The otter is my totem animal and all, but hating monkeys and apes makes zero sense to me in this world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SESI19h4wDo

shakey, are monkeys a nuisance in india? like do you have to watch your back often at times to make sure they're not about to steal something shiney or food-like from you?

i used to live near a zoo, and you could hear monkeys, i think they were lemurs or something? making unearthly noises like a siren or some electronic device at five in the morning. it made roosters seem positively prehistoric, it did

― dell (del), Friday, May 20, 2011 4:24 PM (8 minutes ago)

Ha, I played a track I made that had a section with a lot of glissandi for a biologist friend of mine and he instantly went "lemurs!"

kinda...? depends where you are I suppose. Like, I dunno if you can see it in this tiny photo, but the tops of these buildings are ringed with monkeys.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2149/1924054202_da726f146d_m.jpg

that other photo was taken at a mountaintop shrine in Pushkar and the monkeys totally pestered for food. on our way up a few of them bounded by and I remember seeing one of them rip something off an old lady's sari. they are clever little bastards!

I am sure that woman whose face was eaten by a chimpanzee hates apes

These monkeys are responsible for me hating monkeys for two days

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4104/5074563727_82776e7b7e_z.jpg

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5108/5741239786_d4eb8c58e0_z.jpg

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2172/5740686205_5508d72f63_z.jpg

They got into our holiday shower and watched us going to the toilet (pic 1) and crapped on the floor (note the turd in pics 2 & 3)

and watched us going to the toilet (pic 1)

"if you really hated us you would throw that at me"

Never ever.

Never. Esp oran utans or however you spell it, which I saw that sunny successor had included in his list of monkeys. They have a sense of sarcasm! A zoo keeper friend went into their enclosure and saw the two oran utans sitting next to each other with their arms folded, looking at him getting ready to clean the enclosure. He went out to get some more cleaning equipment and when he came back, they were still sitting there, exactly the same expressions on their faces, exactly the same postures, but they had swapped positions.

Never.

are we counting chimps cuz those fuckers are mean

Homer: Zoo Keeper! Zoo Keeper! Those two monkeys are killing each other!
Zoo Keeper: (whispering) There're having sex.

they were still sitting there, exactly the same expressions on their faces, exactly the same postures, but they had swapped positions.

This absolves all monkeys everywhere ever.

I also always hate apes

jeez, how can you hate a silverback gorilla

definitely never

I'm already on record for "Always" iirc. And you can expand list to all primates, too.

will u make an exception for me?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ5GrVjEN98&feature=related

so many monkey thefts on youtube

I will admit I once laughed at some tv footage of some drunken monkeys but I hated myself while doing it so there was some hatred happening, don't worry.

I have always strongly disliked the other Primates. Strictly speaking, I suppose this is irrational bias on my part, and for that reason could be considered animal behavior.

iirc the original title of the movie drunken master was drunken monkey in the tiger's eye

so much hate on this thread. tsk

Most of the times. When I was a kid we went on a field trip to the jungle and some monkeys managed to open a friend's tent and take all his clothes and everything up with them in the trees. It was simultaneously hilarious and sad to watch my friend on the ground try to get his stuff back, including his camera (which the monkeys ended up dropping on the ground from about 4-5m high). Had a couple other similar experiences with monkeys stealing stuff.

where are you? south africa? indonesia? b/c when i was a kid we didn't have jungles around to take field trips to. we would visit a cement factory or something that used to be a textile mill

^^^philly

lol

no, somewhere even worse than philly!

charleston wva?

that was in india. those field trips sure beat all other field trips i ever went on!

ah.

mookie, let's just say it was a little worse than zelienople.

o shit

I don't remember hating monkeys, except one time when I went to a zoo with a monkey fan and spent about 3 hours looking at every single minutely different variety when I wanted to be looking at wildcats instead.

I might if I'd stayed somewhere with wild monkeys running around, though. I remember some really angry monkeys in another zoo who would run screeching up to the fence every time visitors came up to it to climb it and thump it and shriek at the visitors. Some kid had his zoo map held up against the fence and they grabbed it and started shredding it.

Which is, y'know, a not unreasonable reaction to being in captivity, but still, I wouldn't want to be around that while camping.

Mr spacecadet hates monkeys. I have asked why but the response is usually just a restatement of said hatred.

I only hate on disrespectful monkeys. This category encompasses a surprisingly large number of monkeys.

Definitely never. I love monkeys. I love apes even more though. Seriously, the one thing I know I want to do before I die is hold a baby orang utan and hanh out with some older ones. I will figure out a way to make this happen. Like, I'm not really sure about lots of other things. Kids? Up in the air. Owning a house? Meh. Hold a baby orang utan? MUST DO.

Primates are another matter entirely. Monkeys are just monkeys.

Yes. But I still never hate monkeys.

They will not respect your decision.

Prosimians are where it's at.

Monkeys will never hit the Suggest Ban button.

Prosimians are where it's at.

OTM

marsupials tho

never thought about it but realised it's always. needy little shits.

monkey are cool *in theory* but irl they are evil little fuckers. my friend lived in indonesia as a kid and he had monkey stories that turned me off for life. also monkeys in people clothes are a dealbreaker.
i enjoy orangutans and apes sometimes, so I will have to go w/ sometimes rather than always. but the reality of wild monkeys is a whole different thing to monkeys on a calendar.

Guys I should note "some of the time" or "sometimes" are not options.

ugh fine always then

always/seldom/never is the finest & truest scaling created btw

also monkeys in people clothes are a dealbreaker.

lol some people are so close-minded

MONKEYS IN PEOPLE CLOTHES ARE AN ABOMINATION

^^ otm

http://blog.drysdaleandco.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/MonkeyHat-150x150.jpg

so disrespectful it could melt your face off

http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn117/mattbrill/yetimonkey.jpg

lol

i just regurgitated diet seven-up all over my pda

omg aimless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kr55GRDYpkg

from kerr

they are wonderful little assholes

also monkeys in people clothes are a dealbreaker.

Sorry; monkey in people clothes = COMEDY GOLD. I knew a grown man at a former job whose favorite movie in the entire world was M.V.P.: Most Valuable Primate (chimpanzee dresses up in full hockey gear and leads team to championship).

the worst. The. Worst.

worse than clowns?

Primates in people clothes powered Dean Jones's career at Disney Studios, but PRIMATES ARE NOT MONKEYS!

Worse than clowns

organ grinder monkeys and monkeys in bellhop outfits and fairy costumes ugh ugh ugh ugh

dwarf clowns?

worse than dwarf clowns

always, except for planet of the apes.

that story about koko the gorilla adopting the kitten is pretty sweet too.

Do these costumed-monkey apologists not remember:

http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/0a/a7/kifmToysAllMattel_Wizard_Of_Oz_Porcelain_Winged_Monkey1-resized200.jpg

surely that's a ape?

"flying *monkey*"

xp

It is a small-dog-napping, witch-obeying abomination! And by common consent is referred to as a "flying monkey".

I will also admit to enjoying Monkichi & some of his pals BUT that is because they are cartoon abstractions and not anything like actual monkeys. They are polite and go to school. Monkichi's dream is to be a professional poet, whereas a real monkey's dream is to be a professional asshat.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2670/3961282339_fe4636e7c0.jpg

Related searches: monkichi condom

:O

worse than dwarf clowns

ok that is madness. did an australian monkey steal yr vegemite or something?

All those 80s chimps-in-clothes being boss & secretary calendars ruined me for monkeys in clothes...they wig me out & I dont like them

"australian monkey"

just trying to work out how that would work in terms of adhering to a common stereotype

in that is my understanding that ilx user VegemiteGrrl grew up in "australia" i questioned her "issues" with "monkeys"

terribly sorry if this set off your stereotype alarms

no no i was actually looking forward to various perceptions of what an australian monkey would entail

sorry if it came across that way, not offended at all, quite the opposite

Monkeys will never hit the Suggest Ban button.

They might do; that's the problem. How tolerant you are of blind and sometimes vicious caprice is one of the things at stake. Me, I'm willing to take the hit, although in a human I agree it wd be intolerable. But then I live in northern Europe and don't own a camera.

are we counting chimps cuz those fuckers are mean

Some of them are really quite placid iirc.

monkeys - no. brass monkey - yes.

I voted "Seldom" because I love monkeys but I once watched a documentary where some monkeys stole a baby monkey from another monkey family and tore it to pieces and it really bummed me out. those monkeys were not cool.

I guess it is not my place to moralize about another creature's intraspecies warfare.

sunny successor otm: brass monkey = yes

i only hate them when they taunt me

always love monkeys will pray 4 u abbott :( :( :(

People seem to be hung-up on the cute zoo monkeys. Are you not aware of baboons and mandrills and horrible things like that? Surely these monstrosities are not something even god can love!

The only good primate is a hominid or a prosimian. Thats my take. Orangutans count as hominids in my book too, they have always seemed chill and fun to hang out with - totally not apes, they just faking it to get out of work. Chimps are total psychos, Gorillas are totalitarians - keep them in the depths of the jungles where they belong.

iirc baboons and mandrills are not monkeys

oh wait yes they are! I thought they were both apes!

I thought mandrills were apes too.

they are all cute even the evil destructive killing machine monkeys

pro-monkey in all cases

i'm fond of monkeys but cannot recommend highly enough the forbearance of sexual relations with them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEvURm2Xubs

no no no no no no no no no

Is that is the restaurant where they have monkey servers? I want to go there. The mask is awful though.

I would like to be reborn a bonobo though

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo#Sexual_social_behavior

dayo that shit is fucked up man

http://www.buysecurityproduct.com/pro/monkey_mask/1.jpg

no no no no no no no no no

― cop a cute abdomen (gbx), Sunday, May 22, 2011 2:06 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Couldn't agree more

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9627011/monkeymask.jpg

oh god! i was about to go to bed, but now maybe i won't cos those pics are nightmares

like who the hell thinks putting human face masks on monkeys is a good idea?!?!

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01880/monkey-mask_1880182i.jpg

http://yellowteacup.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/150820091532.jpg

http://i.cdn.cnngo.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/624x400/article-images/large/monkey_doll_mask.jpg

aghhhhh

Where's that video of the monkey in a girl's face mask serving people in a restaurant?

upthread

ah shit thanks

I think this creepy doll/monkey hybrid is an acceptable use of monkeys. It's very Devo!

i have never once in my life hated a monkey.

People seem to be hung-up on the cute zoo monkeys.[....]

― No pop, no style -- all simply (Viceroy), Saturday, May 21, 2011 1:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

can any pro-monkey people say they have ever gone to a zoo and not seen a monkey jerking off? people take their kids to the zoo. this isn't fucking Finland for chrissakes.

can any pro-monkey people say they have ever gone to a zoo and not seen a monkey jerking off?

yes

maybe its a southern morality thing

although ive certainly seen it in the south. 'check it out! im jerking off y'alls!'

man there's a haughty northerner joke to be made here, I just know it

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

http://lightbox.time.com/2011/05/25/the-masked-monkeys-of-indonesia/?xid=yahoo-feat#1

i could theoretically hate monkeys, like if they were really loud in a place or took my food or if i had to be around them because a job situation. worst case, it would probably be a pretty mild kind of hate though. i mean, monkeys are good! like even if a monkey is in a bad movie, then at least the monkey parts are usually okay. it's true though, when they show their teeth at you it kind of freaks me out. a monkey will go off on you! they can be unpredictable, because they're basically still just monkeys underneath.

the word "monkey" is just too damn fun to say

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

everyone thinks Monkeys are coll little friends of the forest. Let me tell you the truth, they're littel fuckingbatards. If they had their way they would be eating us all for dinner. I say we round them all up and send them to antarctica. Learn to survive in the cold little demons. When has a monkey ever saved a human! What have they done for us but eat our bananas and be experimented on for us to have breakthroughs! AND we sent your little " I swell when I am fertile" ass to space once! So get out of my life!

^^^great words from a great man

This MOnkey's gone to hell!

those super teeny tiny ones with human faces really freak me out. but saying that, i'm getting deja-vu. didn't you have a thread about this once? monkeys being assholes that is.

I had a thread about how prosimians are awesome and it was a bit heavyhanded on the monkey prejudice, I'll admit.

for tv shows, instead of saying "jumped the shark" we should probably say "introduced a monkey" because it's weird how often this happens and it's never good. even Big Bang's chain smoking monkey. just no.

one show that did not jump the shark with monkeys:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSHVkQAyYcs

I dislike the monkeys in the Jammie Dodgers adverts. Generally, I veer toward the negative with simians.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/31/mob-burns-monkey-as-witch

Just the first minute except for DJP for which i suggest 2:45 onwards

http://www.eonline.com/videos/v165610_the-soup-monkey-madness.html

Always. Would love to punch a monkey in the face. Except that Japanese monkey what rode a Segway and played baseball.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2011051/Black-macaque-takes-self-portrait-Monkey-borrows-photographers-camera.html

can you really hate on this??

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/07/04/article-2011051-0CDC0FBF00000578-21_306x526.jpg

Ha ha ha! What a goofy looking monkey!

symmetry = beauty, fyi

Symmetry + monkey = goofy looking, :P

I had to fight a monkey that wanted my wallet once in Bali. I hated that one.

this thread is an abomination. i love monkeys always.

they have monkeys here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibraltar -- i would like to visit them. they're the only monkeys in europe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Gibraltar_Barbary_Macaque.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/ce/Gibraltar_Barbary_Macaque.jpg

http://en.numista.com/catalogue/photos/gibraltar/g237.jpg

i wanna see the new documentary about Nim Chimpsky

i don't always hate monkeys, but when I do...

Monica lewchimpsky

Monkeys are always trying to steal wallets. What are they doing with this money?

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y218/brownies4life/moneybags/326616087_d2f6cada32_o.jpg

not a monkey

soz :(

It's a happy chimp with lipstick on. Little chimpy freak.

monkeys - no. brass monkey - yes.

― Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Saturday, May 21, 2011 4:04 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

can any pro-monkey people say they have ever gone to a zoo and not seen a monkey jerking off? people take their kids to the zoo. this isn't fucking Finland for chrissakes.

― Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Sunday, May 22, 2011 4:38 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Monkeys are always trying to steal wallets. What are they doing with this money?

― Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Monday, July 11, 2011 3:33 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/IpdNuw8.gif

voted always
I also always hate apes

― free inappropriate education (Abbbottt), Friday, May 20, 2011 9:21 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

whoa whoa whoa. didn't know it was even politically correct to have this opinion. orangutans are such spiritual animals if you spend time living with them.

yeah stoners love monkeys, franco. WE GET IT.

this isn't fucking Finland for chrissakes

lolling at my 2 yrs younger self

Cool poll, wish I'd had the chance to vote in it