Describe a TV Show to Someone Who Doesn't Know It (And Lie)

Parks & Recreation: Titular characters Alex Parks and Sam Recreation solve crimes in a sleepy Los Angeles suburb.

Bones: Every week a new character at Miss Bones Retirement Community shares their story, through flashbacks, of how they succeeded in the world and made their "bones."

Unique Sweets: Spinoff from Bones starring Dr. Lance Sweets.

Castle: Network original drama about a Germanic Lord living on the periphery of the Ottoman Empire in the 14th century.

The State: MTV's close documentary-style look at power and authority in late Capitalism written by Seymour Hersh.

The Simpsons: a reality TV program about OJ and his kids trying to keep in touch.

The Hills: 10 people are put on a desolate hill top and made to make their way back to humanity. Without food, will they turn on each other, even look to barbaric acts such as cannibalism?

The Cleveland Show: Michael Moore's television project where he examines the failure and disintegration of urban life in Cleveland, OH.

Grey's Anatomy: The sexy, startling life of trail-blazing anatomist and surgeon Henry Gray.

Survivor: Osbournes-style reality show with 80s aor giants

The Soprano's: A reality show which follows a group of castrated men living out their daily lives.

The Wire: an intense, well-researched drama about avant-garde music and its socio-economic inequities viewed through the lens of the cerebral British magazine on the subject.

Californication: Follows American multiplatinum artists the Red Hot Chili Peppers as they record and tour behind their newest projects.

Weeds: Follows a landscape company and their search for a weed free lawn

Family Guy: The show is about a fictional fundamentalist Mormon family in Utah that practices polygamy. Family Guy stars Bill Paxton, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloë Sevigny, Ginnifer Goodwin, Douglas Smith, Bruce Dern, Grace Zabriskie, Mary Kay Place, Matt Ross, and Cassi Thomson.

M*A*S*H: a savvy team of interior decorators revamp a new mansion, apartment, shack or house with a budget of $4077 weekly

lol @ MASH

The Closer: spin-off based on Glengarry Glen Ross starring Mariano Rivera in the Pacino role

Two and a Half Men: After a terrible accident involving an experimental garage door, two men, formerly bitter enemies, must work together to dispose of a mutilated pair of legs without getting caught. This is the plot for every episode, each time an accident with the same experimental garage door, with a different victim.

Cougar Town: Zoologist Maxwell Town tries to balance his complicated family, his miserable dating life, and his work at the Bronx Zoo.

Jersey Shore: live webcam broadcast of the jersey shore.

The Big Bang Theory: Stephen Hawking's witty, casual weekly roundtable about the genesis of our Universe is one of Network's most watched television programs.

two and a half men - genius

Fringe - A hard-hitting weekly documentary series following the lives of ten men and women who have given their lives over to their political beliefs, serving in the "fringe" elements of both the far-left and the far-right.

Would watch that Fringe ^

Justified: Gritty, stylish show about backwoods typographers.

lol @ Justified

game of thrones: a children's show using the musical chairs to teach bathroom etiquette and reinforce potty training routine. featuring sean bean.

Charmed: Juvenile offenders are given a second chance at Miss Cathry's infamously rigorous and tough Charm School.

My Two Dads: Watch as Ned and Dan raise a teenage goth played by Emanuel Lewis.

^^ would DVR

sesame street: mediterranean open-air cooking

I Love the 90s: explicit HBO drama starring Charlie Sheen as a man addicted to nonagenarian sex

Jim Lehrer NewsHour: This is a porno.

lol

Hogan's Heroes: the travails of an old-school neighborhood deli trying to survive in a gentrified Brooklyn overrun with obnoxious foodies.

deadwood: the inside story of erectile disfunction

My Two Dads: Watch as Ned and Dan raise a teenage goth played by Emanuel Lewis.

The very special episodes are the ones to watch.

True Blood: The untold story of Mary, Queen of Scots

Welcome Back Kotter : gritty documentary about the release of prisoner Gabe Kotter who was wrongly imprisoned for a crime he did not commit.

Lou Grant: Young reformed hopefuls compete for the chance to win a scholarship from benefactor Lou Reed.

Planet Earth: each week, another frame of Duran Duran's breakthrough video debut is analyzed for hidden meaning.

No Reservations: Paripatetic host Anthony Bourdain travels to Indian Reservations throughout the U.S. and records and produces albums by local musicians.

The A-Team: an uplifting family dramady about the trials and tribulations of a high school knowledge bowl team

lolling so hard at jersey shore

Extreme Couponing: Travelogue set in the well-known Chinese province; hosted by Gary Cherone

The Brady Bunch: A fictionalized account of the lives, loves, and travails of the White House insiders that brought about the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act.

Iron Chef: Each week Alton Brown demonstrates how to get the wrinkles out of all kinds of unnecessarily unflat food, like lettuce.

haha!~

Mythbustes: Venkman and Spengler are back, and this time they're taking on Medusa!

Fox and Friends: Michael J. Fox discusses the weather with his neighbors.

Pardon the Interruption: British odd-couple farce about a mild-mannered landlord forced to move in with his brash, abrasive tennant

Curb Your Enthusiasm: In this reality show entry, Nashville music executive Mike Curb reunites his congregration for a triumphant reunion tour featuring "Burning Bridges"

Dexter: a reality show featuring incredible displays of dexterity, such as making knots out of 12 cherry stems at once

The Cape: Sex, lies and murder abound in this drama-filled soap opera based in Brewster, MA

ESPNs 30 for 30 : watch as customers exchange their $30 worth of pennies for $30 in bills.

The Real Housewives of Orange County: A gritty crime drama following two detectives searching for the killer of a string of housewives in Orange County

The Amazing Race: David Duke daytime talk show

Lost: Teams are stranded in foreign countries with nothing but their passports and asked to make their way to various exotic locations... oh, wait a second...

The OC: A documentary series about a core member of Thee Oh Sees.

Fantasy Island: Ricardo Montoban makes all your fantasies come true with the help of his midget friend.

Private Practice: Guided Kegel exercises with hosts Drew Carey and Dr. Joyce Brothers

oh wait.

The Golden Girls - Workers in a floundering Florida retirement community try their hand at producing web porn in order to save their village. Hilarity ensues.

Charlie's Angels: in a parallel universe, Charles Manson becomes a wildly successful songwriter and buys a struggling major league baseball team.

The Essentials: In TCM's first scripted drama, Robert Osborne and Alec Baldwin are Chicago detectives just looking to survive until retirement age. They sit around and talk about movies a lot; their long-suffering precinct captain (Kevin Bacon) covers for them more than he should, figuring they'll be gone soon one way or another.

oh bea arthur how you arouse me.

Melrose Place: a wacky comedy featuring the family antics of Barry Melrose, former NHL head coach.

Yo Gabba Gabba: Inside the world of former 90210 star Gabrielle Carteris and her quest for self-actualization.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Five housewives run an underground medical practice in the sweltering streets of Atlanta

Community: The seemingly idyllic suburban life on Wisteria Lane holds its share of secrets; so learns a group of housewives after their friend's mysterious death.

The Real Housewives of New York City: Have you ever wondered how apple juice really gets made? Well, wonder no further.

.... it's made of housewives?

Meet The Browns - just a day in the life of your average white family from Arkansas.

Caprica: in which the titular singer/supermodel from an obscure Balkan state is introduced to America via her own variety show. With Jedward as cohosts.

Top Gear: every week Jeremy Clarkson explains where to get the best drugs. Featuring special hidden camera smuggling videos filmed by James 'The Mule' May and Richard 'The Hamster' Hammond. Also watch out for the guest star segment 'Star Does Coke In A Reasonably Priced Bar'.

Good Morning America: America Morgan is a television weatherperson who has a dark secret - she is actually a serial killer. Can America safely dispose of her victims in time to get to the studio every morning to deliver the day's forecast?

The Cosby Show: Each week, Bill Cosby discusses an episode of his groundbreaking and universally beloved late nineties sitcom.

Battlestar Gallactica: Join host Huell Howser in his search for California's Gold

Private Practice: After two streetwise lawyers (Jared Franklin and Peter Bash) take down a stuffy law firm, they are recruited by the head of the firm to bring new life to the work place.

The Arsenio Hall Show: talk show hosted by Arsenio Hall (not the famous one though)

The Scarecrow and Mrs. King: 1970s-set drama that imagines an intimate friendship between aging actor Ray Bolger and widow Coretta Scott King.

Top of the Pops: weekly consumer programme where old Radio 1 DJ's recommend their favourite non-alcoholic fizzy drinks. Recent episodes have seen DLT recommend Dandelion & Burdock, while viewers also learnt that Tony Blackburn is partial to Ginger Beer.

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit - Can a puppy name Law and a kitten named Order solve sex crimes and spread love at the same time? Yes!

The Closer: Interactive demonstrations of the principles of perspective and depth; hosted by Neil Tyson

Top Chef Masters (Cinemax): private eye Chef Masters investigates BDSM-community crimes.

Wings: tonight at 9 a woman comes to terms with the fact she'll never stop menstrating.

I would watch that Law and Order: SVU for sure.

24: In Rome, the war against Numidia and Mauretania ends with their annexation. Servius Cornelius Cethegus (Tim Allen) and Lucius Visellius Varro (Steve Guttenberg) become consuls, while in Greece, Charmides (Rob Lowe) becomes Archon of Athens. Tacfarinas' (Tom Arnold) revolt in Africa is repressed and the Masinissa line of the rulers of Carthage ends. King Yuri (David Spade) ascends to the Silla throne in Korea. Elsewhere, Philo (Ludacris) declares that the Old Testament is the eternal law of God.

Laverne and Shirley: Well-known UK DJ Lauren Laverne visits singing legend Shirley Bassey each week to discuss their respective tastes in American beer and Midwestern guidos.

Roberto's 24 series needs to be made immediately, BTW.

Cheers: People with thick accents talk about chairs.

Brothers and Sisters: After the death of his father, Nate Fisher returns home to help his brother David run the family's funeral home business and help his mother with his teenage sister Claire.

Tomorrow's World: prediction show where TV psychic Mystic Meg attempts to predict lottery numbers, winning horses, football results, etc..

ok lol @ cheers

Red Shoe Diaries: David Duchovny provides the lead voice in this animated tale of a pair of Chuck Taylors just trying to make it through each day in reasonably clean fashion. But if only his owner would watch where he stepped!

Baywatch: Each week Director Michael Bay shows you one of the many watches he's collected over the years, co hosted by Nic Cage.

The Tonight Show: Late-night NBC talk show hosted by Conan O'Brien.

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace: This is a porno

so happy Red Shoe Diaries is not a companion show to Wings

Black Books - an inside look into the fascinating lives of accountants

The X Files: Gillian Anderson IS Exene.

Too Close for Comfort: a period drama about Louis Comfort Tiffany and his fear of intimacy.

Star Trek: reality TV show where C-list celebs go trekking through an Australian rain forest. Viewers of a nervous disposition are advised that this programme contains Ant & Dec.

Hello Larry: In this heartbreaking drama, Larry the Cable Guy looks at himself in the mirror each day and tries to reconstruct the psyche of the broken man who bares his soul, along with his ass, on the stage the night before. Costarring Carrot-Top as "Red," his close friend in AA.

I <3 this thread.

Dr Who: Sadly cancelled after its first season, this beloved american reality show followed the questions and statements made by those who underwent medical procedures requiring heavy levels of anesthetics once they awoke

Never Mind The Buzzcocks: game show where members of the public attempt to win big prizes for completing tests of skill, ingenuity and dexterity, all while ignoring the distractions of Pete Shelley and his band.

(aw I was just about to do "Hello Larry" as "Perfect Strangers")

Ghost Hunters: killed in separate gangland slayings disguised as hunting accidents, spectral buddies Jay and Grant assist precocious teen Timmy as he solves minor crimes in the upper Michigan peninsula.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: In this gritty character-driven drama, Healey Mangrove (He-Man) is a high-paid psychotherapist to Wall Street's most powerful people in the world of high finance. In Season One, Mangrove discovers one of his clients is a psychopathic serial killer.

I Love Lucy - Each episode consists of an extreme close-up ("in the air tonight" style) of the face of a man who describes his unrequited love for Lucy. It gets creepy. But 20 minutes into each episode, you can hear Lucy walk into the room (off camera), and the previously elegantly loquacious man starts stumbling over his words and is quickly reduced to an incoherent babble. After Lucy leaves the room, the man goes off into another creepy monologue about Lucy, this time about how much he hates her.

Oz: In the pilot episode, an adult Dorothy wonders why she's locked into her Emerald City room each night.

CSI: A&E series that trawls through American antique shops in search of cigar store Indians.

(aw I was just about to do "Hello Larry" as "Perfect Strangers")

An inspired alternate.

Heroes - behind the scenes at a greek restaurant

Oz: In the pilot episode, an adult Dorothy wonders why she's locked into her Emerald City room each night.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, June 2, 2011 1:04 PM (48 seconds ago)

Creepy spinoff: Dr. Oz

That 70's Show: Septuagenarians defy age and demonstrate extreme sports.

Studs: Tim Allen follows up Tool Time with a lovable sequel in the Home Improvement spinoff, The Bachelor.

The View: Follow hosts Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry as they travel to picturesque overlooks across the world!

You Can't Do That on Television! - this is a porno

Dexter: a reality show featuring incredible displays of dexterity, such as making knots out of 12 cherry stems at once

― sarahel, Thursday, June 2, 2011 7:47 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Dexter's Lab - spinoff where a team of scientists breaks down the mechanics of these incredible displays of dexterity

Dilbert: a show about nothing.

I feel like "this is a porno" is guaranteed lols no matter the show

Misfits of Science - this is a porno

Six Feet Under: Ashton Kutcher buries celebrities alive...and their reactions are priceless.

Battlebots: Wealthy widower Duke Brocklehurst Battlebots III never thought he would find love again ... until he hired a shy new governess to teach his son to play the piano.

Samurai Jack: Kraft attempts to introduce a wasabi cheese line to Japan with mixed results. Costarring Mako as Wallace.

Family Feud - a gameshow in which parents in the process of getting a divorce are forced to fight for custody of their children by answering uncomfortable questions about their own childhoods

Antiques Roadshow - This is a porno

Dance Fever - following the success of so you think you can dance comes the latest dancing sensation. Watch as people who are battling the flu have a dance off in front of celebrity judges.

30 Rock - a kindly wizened geologist intones fascinating details about rocks, mountains, and other geological formations in exotic locations while his danger-prone assistant does the heavy lifting

Who wants to be a millionaire? - a group of 30 people duke it out in the ring, last man standing keeps the cash

Would watch Six Feet Under

Samurai Jack: From the playboy channel comes...Samurai Jack...watch as asian men masturbate for the camera.

Ken Burns's Baseball: Contestants go head-to-head with Ken Burns in a battle of wits in order to win the famed documentarian's prized baseball.

Wolverine and the X-Men: Logan, a new U Michigan grad, must navigate the thorny corporate politics at his first office job, where almost all of the staffers come from Xavier University.

I still lol when I think about Cheers

Everybody Loves Raymond: a bukkake tribute to the blind jazz musician

Dexter: About right-handed people.

Eight is Enough - Reality show in which Octomom decides 8 kids is her limit and decides she has to kill off a couple. Viewers cast votes to decide which kids live and which have just got to go.

aw, i was trying to post a Raymond one

so was i

Malcolm in the Middle - edgy aging film actor Malcolm McDowell plays himself in this biopic describing his hiring and subsequent frustrating last minute firing from an ABC sitcom due to lead actress Patricia Heatons allegations that she kept discovering him masturbating silently in the corner of her dressing room

Mike & Molly: Can the Sk0glund siblings beat the odds and escape their humdrum midwestern home town?

(esp for jjj)

lol xpost!

The Dick Van Dyke Show - a hilarious reality show that follows a group of hot lesbians as they travel the country in a van with a large air-brushed penis painted on its side.

Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place: Surprisingly not a porno.

I feel like "this is a porno" is guaranteed lols no matter the show

― low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Thursday, June 2, 2011 2:08 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

This could be a thread of its own tbh.

x=post - LOL

Gimme a Break - this is a porno starring Nell Carter

The Twilight Zone: A reality series where Team Edward fans take it just a little too far.

Family Ties: we surprise a different clan every week by showcasing their collection of neckwear; could your dad's closet be next?

Blake's 7: reality show where artist Peter Blake trains and mentors a group of seven artists.

227: Kiefer Sutherland just wishes this day would end.

Droopy - a show about erectile dysfunction

Just the 10 of Us - Def a porno

Newhart - follow the heartbreaking trials and tribulations of Todd Johnson, an illiterate cardiologist

Night Court: a competitive 3-3 basketball tournament featuring teams made up of professionals with fading hoop dreams

Coupling - this is a porno

My Sister Sam - this is also a porno

The Scarecrow & Mrs. King: I think you know

Different Strokes/The Facts of Life: in these complementary educational series, Charlotte Rae and Gary Coleman show you how it's done -- and how to have fun while doing it.

Swap Shop: reality show where two independent shop owners 'swap shops' for a fortnight to see how well they do at running each other's completely different businesses. Not a porno.

Salute Your Shorts: Danny Cooksey hosts a rousing anthology of under-appreciated footage of misfired electrical connections

321 Contact - controversial retooling of "To Catch a Predator"

The Gummi Bears: shocking German import about Berlin's gay leather scene

agh not leather, latex

Orange County Choppers - inside the lives of californians with huge teeth.

Punky Brewster: meet Jake "The Fermentation" Scharnhost, upper Michigan's hot young beermaker, as he demonstrates how to create the perfect stout. Soundtrack provided by his long-running band Ever I Adore You, recently signed to Saddle Creek.

Nova - a gritty workplace comedy from the 70s in the declining years of the American Car Industry, set in an auto plant that makes the Chevy Nova

The Love Boat: each week, Mike Love sets sail for adventure!

Blossom: Mayim Balik stars in this educational series examining the life cycles of your favorite flowers. Also a porno.

Chip N Dales Rescue Rangers: An intimate look at the drummer of Lightning Bolt's softer side as he assists the public as a member of the Providence RI volunteer fire department.

Tales of the Gold Monkey: in this gritty drama, the lives of urban criminals, corrupt alderman and scheming shorefront unions all revolve around a mysterious society...with an even more mysterious tattoo. Costarring Stephen Collins as a recently bereaved suburban priest, looking for a little light in the darkness.

Kidd Video: NBA star Jason Kidd counts 'em down!

Whose Line is it Anyway?: endurance game show hosted by Robin Williams, with 5 cokeheads performing charitable and physical challenges to earn the top prize of a massive rail laid out on the mirror-top coffee table in the studio.

Manimal: Primal Scream's bass player wonders what happens to him every time he tries to call his girlfriend, Rose Stone.

Captain Kangaroo - Dickensian sprawling HBO drama about a maverick Australian-born police commander who fights incompetence and crime in inner city Baltimore

Full House - Mary-Kate and Ashley try to win the World Series of Poker

Saved by the Bell: Chillwave act Saved by the Bell discuss their breakthrough album and Coachella infamy.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: this is a porno

Thomas and Friends - everybodys favorite Finn comes to America to live with his cousin watch the hilarity as he tries to become an underwear model.

The Care Bears: a friendly group of hirsute men dedicate their lives to charity. Costarring Pamela Heaton and Victoria Jackson as the nosy neighbors.

Party of Five - this is a porno

Alternative Nation: in the economic downturn, a young reporter wonders if there's a better, secret world...somewhere.

Hardball with Chris Matthews - do you really think this is not a porno?

Shit My Dad Says: whiney complains about everything his dad says.

Beverly Hills 90210: Romantic trials and dramatic tribulations of the hardest workin' postmen in So-Cal

lol @ Care Bears

Politcally Incorrect: FactCheck.org goes through the week's political speeches to help you know who is telling the truth and who is not.

Street Hawk: this is a porno

Hannah Montana: NFL Hall of Famers John Hannah and Joe Montana; porno

Knight Rider: this is also a porno

The A Team: what did you think the 'A' stood for?

Hung: The behind-the-scenes story of American Idol contestant William Hung's rapid rise to fame and the subsequent, grisly fall.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia : global warming has struck and weathermen on local Philly channels turn to beggars as they are now rendered useless

21 Jump Street: live action Frogger-based game show from japan

Spenser For Hire: HBO's latest historical drama tells the true story of the secret life of Queen Elizabeth's finest poet. Featuring Jude Law, Helen Mirren and Bob Hoskins as London's most notorious pimp, Bert Quicklime.

Hole in the Wall: yup, porno

Far Out Space Nuts - porno

Louie: Showtime presents this present-day restaging of the life and loves of Louis XIV

mad about you: children's show detailing the many different types of unhealthy personal fixations that exist

V: join host Thomas Pynchon as we check out the 5 hottest sci-fi remakes in development

Terriers: dog show

care bears one of my favorites so far.

Real Sex: This is just a webcam in your mom's bedroom.

gag

Hawaii 5-0: celebrate as Gr8080 turns 50.

Game of Thrones: Contestants eat two bean burritos loaded with hot sauce and Ex-Lax; the first one to get off the toilet wins $100,000.

Touched by an Angel: erotic Christian thriller

M*A*S*H: Scottish cuisine is explored

Running Wilde: Helmed by the creators of Sherlock, this ambitious BBC series brings Oscar Wilde into the modern day in an attempt to convince gay irish teens to get more exercise.

Fringe - Roger Daltrey's anthropomorphic stage costume from Woodstock sits in a museum of old rock 'n' roll artifacts, and entertains museumgoers with tales of his wild 60's past (animated).

Rubicon: Highlights from the yearly get-together of the world's best puzzle cube solvers.

The 700 Club: follow a group of portly contenders as they eat as much fucking food as possible, in this heart warming elimination reality show

Bonanza: Investigative journalist Ken Bonanza is murdered before he can expose the unethical practices of a pharmaceutical giant. His spirit is trapped in the gears of a printing press and he can only communicate with the rest of the world through his limited control over the printed copy. Can Ken avenge his own murder before print media dies too?

My So-Called Life: bittersweet coming-of-age dramedy about Jacques Derrida's teen years

Doctor Quinn Medicine Woman: This restaging of the Dadaist novella is a study of nouns and proper nouns

Taggart: a documentary series detailing the various graffiti tags to be found sprayed on walls around Glasgow.

Blue Peter: this is almost a porno but never quite finishes

E.R: After being transported to the 21st Century by a freak time-travel accident, Queen Elizabeth the First attempts to blend in with our confusing modern world by shortening her name to just the initials, in the mistaken belief this will make her appear "street".

xp I got turned off when the elephant shat on the floor.

The Borgias: Star Trek spinoff starring Campbell Scott as Johnny Borgias

X Factor: softcore porno

Sliders: This half-hour comedy starring Adam Scott and Lizzy caplan follows a Los Angeles, California, catering team of aspiring Hollywood actors and writers, as well as drifting lost souls, working small-time catering gigs while hoping for their break or some positive change in their lives.

Seinfeld: About the goings-on in the fictional California town of Seinfeld, where everyone is a private detective solving one-another's mysteries. At least until a real private detective stumbles upon Seinfeld ... and the real mystery deepens!

Amen: Sherman Helmsley is your guide on a stirring behind the scenes look at the famous drum break and the men - and oft overlooked women - behind it

Malcolm In The Middle: Veteran actor McDowell repeatedly attempts to catch a ball thrown just out of his reach by two celebrity guest stars in this variation on the popular children's playground game.

Dynasty: sexy HBO historical drama set in Old Kingdom Egypt

Eureka: The life an times of Archimedes, Greek philosopher, and his sidekick TV's Frank.

Magnum PI: sci-fi series about mathematician Thomas Magnum and his faithful robot sidekick Higgins, as they endeavour to calculate pi to more decimal places than their arch rivals 'Doctor' TC and 'Professor' Rick.

Tyler Perry's House of Payne: aerosmith's singer and guitarist try to kick their smack habit one last time with the help of the famous third-person shooter video game but find out trading one addiction for another is a losing proposition

The Voice: Newspaper man gets more than he bargained for when his company takes over the wacky and venerable New York weekly: starring Wilford Brimley as Michael Lacey

Amazing Stories: a group of acrophobes get over their fears and get on with their lives through counseling atop the world's most dazzling skyscrapers

Everybody Loves Raymond: a weekly investigation into the extremely active sex life of closeted TV actor Raymond Burr.

Designing Women: Weird Science rip-off about two nerds who go into the sex robot business

Star Cops: celebrities become regular beat cops in this gritty real-life docu-soap.

Murder, She Wrote: old lady, I said.

Saturday Night Live: The biggest band to ever come out of York, PA sits down with the biggest stars of stage and screen.

Step By Step: The bittersweet story of Frank Lambert's (Patrick Duffy's) recovery from a traumatic accident on a construction site that resulted in massive brain damage preventing him from using his legs. Suzanne Somers stars as Frank's physical therapist.

Hollywood Squares: beautiful and wealthy celebrities try to humanize themselves by pretending to like comics and tabletop RPGs

America's Got Talons: In the future everyone's a bird.

Married With Children: In a dystopian future, the passage of gay marriage sets of a slippery slope legitimizing bestality and NAMBLA. Hilarity ensues.

Three's Company: A fateful plane crash leaves college junior Morton Eisenberg III in charge of his family's multi-million dollar textile company. Can the young executive navigate the oddball advice of his wacky board of trustees and win over his skeptical new employees?

The Biggest Loser: Dane Cook just can't win.

V: An ambitious attempt to bring Thomas Pynchon's sprawling 1963 debut novel to the small screen.

Fuck me, should have read the whole thread.

Doctor Who - Avian veterinarian Mary Tamm travels England's backroads, barns, and abandoned quarries saving the lives of wounded owls. Sunday at 7pm et/pt on Animal Planet

Family Affair: Sly and the Family Stone rely on the services of their manservant, Mr French.

Twin Peaks: light-hearted farce in which Bill Peak (Andre the Giant) and his twin brother Tom (Shaquille O'Neal) try and inevitably fail to get through doors without ducking their heads.

Leave it to Beaver - this is a porno

BJ and the Bear.

So totally a porno.

This thread made returning to work after a week off much easier to bear.

All In The Family: Louis Theroux follows and films the lives of an incestuous brother and sister.

Small Wonder: A dwarf with the power of healing lives nomadically and brings comfort to those in need. directed by JJ Abrams

Monk: a tiresome retread of Cadfael in which a medieval monk solves crimes that occur in and around his monastery.

Mystery Science Theatre 3000: Someone is killed inside a movie theatre in the year 3000, and it can only be solved...by science.

The Wire: A documentary miniseries by Ken Burns about the invention of the telegraph and how it transformed America forever.

Twin Peaks: A woman uses a boob job to advance herself in the entertainment industry.

The O'Reilly Factor: a hard-hitting news magazine show that deals only in fact and maintains a policy of "no spin."

DuckTales: The animated adventures of Ducktails, a teenage chillwave band and their sidekick The Neon Indian, as they travel into the Altered Zones to battle the evil lord Wavves and his robotic cat "Snacks."

Mythbusters: A team of historians and anthropologists uncover the origins and discuss the underlying symbolism and importance of the world's great mythologies, "busting" open a subject often seen as too academic for a popular audience.

Mad Men: a weekly public affairs debate program moderated by John McLaughlin

Malcolm in the Middle: television adaptation of beloved cinematic classic The Human Centipede.

The Prisoner: Recently freed P.O.W. John Drake moves to the sleepy Welsh village of Portmeirion to relax and enjoy his retirement. A recurring gag revolves around a white beach ball that blew away from him one day, but that he can never quite catch as the wind blows it by.

Dirty Jobs: a children's cartoon about a young Steve Jobs tinkering with electronics in his bedroom and concocting elaborate plans to avoid bathing

Maude: Simpsons spinoff porno

Ax Men: AMCs new comedy-horror about a duo of psychotically hilarious ax murderers and their many misadventures.

American Pickers: an historical drama set on a cotton plantation in the antebellum south.

Breaking Bad--syndicated tv spinoff of Breakin' movie series...

Making the Ban(ne)d--Hosted by C. Weingarten, needs no description.

The Price Is Right - a highbrow Sunday roundtable discussion show focusing on current economic issues.

Undercover Boss: Bruce Springsteen is a crime-fighting master of disguise.

Friends - a post-modern "cool" cartoon (think Ninja Turtles for the 21st Century) that centers on an ass-kicking group of righteous rats - the Friends - which stands for "Flying Rodents Incapacitating Evil Nazi Doctor Squirrels" - sponsored by the Anti-Vivisection League

friday the 13th: series based on the movies.

the real world: documentary series chronicling the transition into adulthood as post-adolescents grapple with quotidian realities such as housing, employment, and navigating the difficult yet rewarding terrain of mature relationships.

parker lewis can't lose: seven-time world poker alliance champion parker lewis takes on an array of amateur and celebrity challengers, on espn 2.

parking wars: reality show focusing on affluent neighborhoods where battles wage over the scarce street parking. who will win in this ultimate death match between NIMBY permit holders and the bridge-and-tunnel density-hawk trash who insist on driving to *our* restaurants and parking in *our* spaces? (the meter maids all agree: there will be hell to pay if you ticket an actual rich person.)

Britain's got Talent - this is a porno

The Apprentice - TV show about one person hired at a vastly reduced salary, and his attempts to induce up to nine other people to join him in the quest to cross the london footbridge in 10 weeks time.

Fingerbobs : This isn't a porno, oh wait...

Teletubbies: a documentary about the dangers of obesity as a result of watching too much TV.

The Weakest Link: A sitcom from the 1970's starring Robin Williams as a failing architect and hopeless romantic. Every episode ended with Robin screwing up his latest building designs before heading out across the Golden Gate Bridge whilst stuffing his hands into the pockets of his puffer bodywarmer, letting out a gentle and wistful sigh.

The Dick Van Dyke Show: that's right, another porno.

The Double Deckers.

(are we starting that separate thread or wot?)

House: PBS's fly-on-the-wall documentary following a yuppie couple who buys and renovates a house in a gentrifying neighborhood.

Celebrity Big Brother: CBBC show where some kid who is forever getting bullied at school gets Christopher Biggins to kick their asses.

Babylon 5: a reality show about a group of rag-tag rastafarians who go on a search for their roots, with hilarious results.

xpost

friday the 13th: series based on the movies.

Ha!

Law & Order: Two Fascist enforcers/bounty hunters - one named Law, one named Order - roam the post-apocalyptic future, enacting their particular brand of justice.

Futurama: futures traders battle it out on Wall St for the title of stock trader of the year.

Dr Who - Walthamstow GP suffering from both Schizophrenia and Alzheimer's goes on retreat to Skyros to find himself, herself.

Skins: offbeat family drama in the vein of Six Feet Under about a 30-something recently-ex Wall Street bigshot who returns to his Indiana hometown to work in his family's taxidermy business.

The IT Crowd: enthusiastic fans of Stephen King's bestselling novel journey on a pilgrimage to Derry, Maine in search of their own lost childhoods.

Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares: exciting spin-off of Garth Marenghi's Dark Places, where strange culinary horrors are taking place in a haunted kitchen above a demonic hellmouth