Potato Salad: THE POLL

(this poll is 100% unbiased)

you're very angry about food today.

loooooool

well food shouldn't have said those things about our Fran

everybody in their right mind likes potato salad, you silly but loveable ilxor, you

elmo has a really great mayo-free recipe involving olive oil, garlic, lemon and parsley

I guarantee that you ate the potato salad I make you would like it. Not "maybe you'd concede it's ok." You would say, fuckin A, this is fucking delicious, potato salad you're all right as long as underrated aero is making it instead of somebody bringing it to a church picnic in a gigantic tub.

it's the mayo isn't it?!

yeah i mean i understand not like american "salads" bc of the mayo, but you don't have to use mayo

it's the mayo isn't it?!

OF COURSE it's the mayo!

I like it the potato salad.

mayonnaise is disgusting and I don't need it to make an outstanding potato salad

Is there any acceptable use for mayo?

aside from making things extra delicious?

seriously there is no food more savage than mayonnaise and if on the morning I wake up in Hell big Satan is all "ok aero your punishment is now you have to either eat meat, or enjoy mayonnaise on a vegetarian meal once a day" I would say to him "wow you really are the devil and this is fucking Hell"

mayo is culinary napalm unless it is on a poultry sandwich

or Halle Berry </postverymuchincharacter>

I would use mayo on breakfast cereal if my doctor would let me.

let's all skeeve djp out by telling him about how the dutch dip their fries in thick mayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz0fLT_k3_U

didn't we have a mayo fite here a few years ago?

let's all skeeve djp out by telling him about how the dutch dip their fries in thick mayo

I have seen and tasted that

it's not right

mayo and fries is sweet

mayo is culinary napalm

Culinary jizz, more like.

I was trying to post less like myself, but Eric OTM

Quebecers use mayo on their fries too (when not covered in gravy and cheese curds)!

Dan you should try German potato salad - no mayo!

Potato salad rules.

Culinary jizz, more like.

otm, potatoes that have been ejaculated on taste about as good as ones with mayo

Mayo on fries is the greatest thing ever btw.

German potato salad uses actual salad dressing or something, right?

enbb otm. but it has to be the right fries. you can't pull this with McD's fries or anything.

Mayo is AWESOME and should be tart and lemony and eggy, but I'll settle for Hellmann's if necessary.

I also hated potato salad, though, until I made it myself by the Cook's Illustrated recipe. WHICH STILL USES MAYO and is great. But I turned the onions into scallions. Maybe next time I'll turn them into garlic!

Yeah exactly. :)

DTT - It's a vinegar based dressing and usually has bacon in it. Something along these lines: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/german-potato-salad/detail.aspx

I do like German potato salad! That was a revelation tbh.

over time I've even stopped digging ketchup on fries so going the manbatter mayo route just seems crazy unless you're also adding massively overpowering flavors like truffle oil

actually that could be its own thread; when will American cooks stop putting truffle oil on fucking everything

i don't like german potato -- it's TOO vinegary for me

"we also feature a challah French toast stuffed with bananas soaked in truffle oil, served over capers with a quince-tangelo reduction"

lol

now i need to have hot dog AND potato salad lunch.

^^^^

never mind that, i want the French toast thing

Not all that nuts about potato salad, but I do like putting mayonnaise in baked potatoes.

and when i'm done that, DJP, i'm going to fill a cereal bowl with mayonnaise and slurp it down with the thickest straw i can find.

xpost

potato salad is bad but it is better than – what the fuck do you call that creamy jello shit w/ the mandarin oranges, mini marshmallows and walnuts? ambrosia salad?

ha, "CONGEALED salad"

http://www.easysaladrecipes.com/images/yogurtnextday301.jpg

oh god I've never tried that - it looks fing vile

what the fuck do you call that creamy jello shit w/ the mandarin oranges, mini marshmallows and walnuts

the iowa state fair

aka "with a name like 'Mangled Baby Ducks,' you know it's got to be great jam!"

loooooooooool aero

i think i've eaten and enjoyed ambrosia

which i just think is the best name for a food ever

http://www.easy-recipes-online.com/images/ambrosia-salad-bowl.jpg

I loved ambrosia when I was a kid

I am pretty certain it would induce projectile vomiting now

Everybody in this thread is crazy.

But seriously, the girlfriend's potato salad is one of the many boons of being with her. The trick is to use a stealthy mix of mayo and salad cream AFAIK, but also salad onions and paprika.

dan and aero both so relentlessly wrong in this thread it is my new goal to lock them in the same room together with nothing but a jar of mayonaise for food to see which one kills the other first in order not to starve to death.

i think that was the plot of an unfinished hubert selby novel but nevertheless.

i have only once made/had a good potato salad. i diced and boiled some sweet potatoes and yukon golds and pickled them overnight in cider vinegar w/ tons of smoked paprika. the next day i made them a v. thin dressing out of rendered bacon fat, curry powder, and creme fraiche. it was good for a potato salad, but not, you know, some epic peak of culinarism.

what is salad cream?

actually i know exactly who would kill who first. aero would be making a bunch of impassioned and morally righteous arguments against eating meat, and dan would say that's all well and good, dude, but as you can see right now i am already eating your leg.

btw here is a pro-tip; if ever you want to make a person re-evaluate their hatred of mayo-based salads, introduce a super strong flavor that overpowers the bland awfulness of the salad

my wife converted me to chicken salad by dumping a metric ton of curry powder into it and she converted me to egg salad by chopping up and adding practically an entire can of green olives

xp: strongo OTM

what is salad cream?

lady if you have to ask

Don't worry about it Surm, it's a Brit thing.

http://www.freewebs.com/bllax/salad%20cream.jpg

From what I've gathered it's sorta maybe a little bit like Miracle Whip.

it sounds and looks terrifying

actually and this will probably gross everybody out but it just goes to show you DJP otm, I overcame some of my anti-mayonnaise bias at one point when I was really super-hungry and a nurse I was working with made me a tuna salad sandwich & I liked it so well I went on a sort of tuna salad sandwich kick for a while

however later that same nurse ratted me out for having gotten arrested over the weekend, causing me to lose my job and it was a sweet job that paid really well so fuck that guy & fuck mayonnaise

It's like a mayo + vinegar thing xp

it's kinda v. vinegary mayo maybe?

but i am not taking a stroll down "uggh you disgusting savages eat what???" lane tonight

aero don't hold the hellmans people responsible for your poor life decisions. they've done nothing but bring the world happiness in the form of white goo saturated with fat.

aha, next we'll find out about the dry-aged angus steer that criticized your guitar playing!

xposts

but i am not taking a stroll down "uggh you disgusting savages eat what???" lane tonight

aw, you're no fun

i was gonna totally put mustard on this ham sandwich but now i think i'm gonna grab the squeeze bottle of mayo and shot glass and just go to town.

hellman's, the condiment preferred by snitches

when i was a kid i very much enjoyed salad dressing. then, at 13, i got a job as a dishwasher in a sandwich/salad shop famous for their 'homestyle buttermilk ranch.' i had to wash the salad bowls all day long, and holy jesus, let me tell you what an abomination unto mankind is the malign reek of creamy fucking salad dressing at the precise moment it hits scalding water. it floats to the surface of the liquid in an uneven clump, clots together like cottage cheese, and eventually breaks apart into oily, semen-colored smears that – because of its high fat content – worms its way into the crevices and pores of skin, where it lives in repulsive infamy for weeks at a time.

poor strongo, wandering the streets of downtown with a glassful of mayo

potato salad is a very useful food in the right context, eg when you're hungover enough that you need stodge BUT when it's too hot (or you're overheating too much) to cope with hot food

xxxp yeah ....

that's why i just do olive oil + lemon

omg @ the idea of eating potato salad while hungover, satan is real you guys

the thing is ...

potato salad is just ... potatos. and whatever you want to put on it.

who doesn't like potatos?

me, kind of

i also don't like bland bread, except if it's in a banh mi

well isn't your waistline lucky

the thing is, I don't think you can put butter, sour cream, chives and bacon bits on a potato and credibly call it "potato salad"

you can if you chop the potato up first and mix it into a slurry

yup

"slurry salad" never really caught on tho for obvious reasons

it's easier than spreading butter, sour cream, chives and bacon bits on a piece of lettuce, admittedly

omg @ the idea of eating potato salad while hungover, satan is real you guys

i also enjoy eating sushi when hungover sometimes

fine - definition amended. potato salad is ... chopped potatos. !!

Czech Republic and Slovakia
In the Czech Republic and Slovakia, potato salad is a traditional Christmas meal. It comes as a side dish to a fried fish (most commonly carp) or certain type of white sausage which is served as a dinner on Christmas Eve. Each family preserves their own recipe. It most commonly contains potatoes, mayonnaise, eggs and onions. Some families use also carrots, green peas, pickled cucumbers, celery, mustard, salami and other ingredients. Each year the children of Czech and Slovakia renew their tradition of praying that God kill them before the traditional Christmas meal can be served.

my favorite hungover food is a cheap and ghastly indian lunch buffet but sadly i live in a savage place where general tso's chicken is the outer limit of "ethnic" food

i love everything in that xmas meal except the pickles - pickles, now they are truly an abomination.

oh don't get me wrong some hangovers demand PROPER FRIED STUFF

and some demand clementines

they all vary ;_;

my most recent hangover involved bagels, eggs and american cheese

sushi for a hangover would not make me happy

mine involved eggs benedict, a tall glass of orange juice and an iced black coffee (room service)

sashimi though ramz, it's sooooo refreshing - u know those hangovers where the fact you're overheating madly is the worst symptom

mayo is awesome i am usually cowed by aero's extreme opinions but i am confident he is as wrong as can be this time.

my most recent hangover cure involved Advil, water and tears of regret

ok that's true lex i can imagine that (yes i do know those hangovers)

potato salad is okay but people who put mayo/salad cream on fruit disgust me

salad cream is not even a real thing so whatever

Potato salad is awesome

Mayo is also awesome

U ignorant pigfuckers

omg hueg lol

No offense

people who hate waldorf salad hate america and our ability to improve anything with mayo

Salad Cream is a Mayo hater's worst nightmare!

here's a tip, don't get a fruit salad in china because to them 'fruit salad' means 'small pieces of fruit we tossed into a jar of salad cream and then poured into a bowl for you'

Potato salad is awesome

Mayo is also awesome

U ignorant pigfuckers

whereas by accepting mayo into your mouth without reservation or restraint, you are all too aware of that pig you are fucking

Strongo otm

i don't h8 waldorf salad but it's one of those "sweet OR savoury MAKE UP UR MIND" dishes for me

if you don't like mayo, how do you make deviled eggs? how?

haha here's where i reveal my own pigfucking savagery by mentioning my extreme revulsion toward eggs

in my wife's recipe for deviled eggs, there is mayo but there are also MINCED OLIVES WHIPPED INTO THE EGG YOLK/MAYO MIXTURE

this goes back to my "overpower the horribleness of mayo with awesome" edict

If you don't like mayo you have already given up so deviled eggs are the least of your concerns

haha here's where i reveal my own pigfucking savagery by mentioning my extreme revulsion toward eggs olives

so actually you love mayo

xxp

he doesn't like mayo but he likes green fucking olives

love olives

love eggs

but I don't know that I've ever had a deviled egg before

he likes fucking green olives

erica omg i will make you some!

they are divine

you can garnish with a tiny strip of bacon

but I don't know that I've ever had a deviled egg before

WHAT THE

get thee to a nunnery

I remember for a long time I thought olives were horrible

then, one day I was served a pepperoni pizza with black olives on it and went "holy fuck this is amazing"

ever since I have been pro-olive

olives are an insurmountable barrier for me, i've tried long & hard to train myself to like them - i can now eat them without actually spitting them out immediately. progress.

devilled eggs (SANS OLIVES) are the best things though.

everything to do with an egg is amazing.

"started thinking about deviled eggs but was too caught up deciding where to lay down and desperately resign my flesh into returning to dust"

Signed, mayo hater

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J84EAfggntI

4:40 et seq, u&k

This is turning into a Night of the Long Butter Knives.

shit I spent an hour lolling on the internet when I could have been investigating dubious hot dogs

everything to do with an egg is amazing.

including mayonnaise, which is egg-emulsified fat

love potato salad

everything to do with an egg is amazing.

BALUT

oh man iatee in that case have I ever got the they-don't-have-public-transport-there region for you

oh shit, forgot about balut

ok, not everything

the best kind of mayonnaise is japonnaise

http://www.spice-world.de/wp-content/gallery/spice-world/kewpie-japanische-mayonnaise.jpg

I am willing to make an exception to my beliefs and let someone w/ a car drive aforementioned potato salad to me

oh god i had no idea about balut

oh god

oh GOD

people who are into mayonnaise plus fruit, you might as well be eating http://www.eatmedaily.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/akutaq.jpg instead

HS I do not eat bacon but I will take you up on the d egg offer one day. Mark my words!

oh you know what, I am kind of full of shit because I LOVE spicy mayo

I look at that kewpie doll Japanese mayo all the time in the store. SO CUTE.

I bet DJP is the kind of savage who puts spicy mayo onto his salmon crunch roll

ENBB you should get a bottle. it is tangier than real mayo and is the best compliment to fried foods.

Dan - like the chipotle mayo at The Publick House? It's the BEST THING EVER.

x-post Hmmm - maybe I will!!

E: I mean like the Japanese spicy mayo that is often a sushi/maki condiment

I bet DJP is the kind of savage who puts spicy mayo onto his salmon crunch roll

on SALMON???? no!

tuna and yellowtail, though....

ppl getting lured off the straight and narrow here onto the path of eating mayonnaise

it's a short step from here to frankenberry omelettes you guys

maybe I would eat balut with hot sauce

yellowtail is too fine a fish to be eaten with anything other than itself!

well sure, that's part of what makes it a great vehicle for delicious spicy mayo!

frankenberry omelettes don't sound *great* but they don't sound, 100% unappealing, maybe like 70% unappealing

I mean I would def try it

by the way I know about an egg dish that is 100x more disgusting than balut but I don't know if you all are ready for it

oh i forgot you were veggie, E! bacon is inessential to deviled eggs anyway.

i really will eat anything. i defy you to come up with something i wouldn't eat even if just for the lolz.

I am disgusted but unsurprised at my abrupt volte face in this thread

haha

by the way I know about an egg dish that is 100x more disgusting than balut but I don't know if you all are ready for it

BRING IT MAN

yeah dude i guarantee you will not faze me here

no kidding, don't leave us hanging

i really will eat anything. i defy you to come up with something i wouldn't eat even if just for the lolz.

― apichathong song (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Monday, July 18, 2011 1:14 PM (31 seconds ago) Bookmark

famous last words

i really just need to start petitioning travel channel to turn dr. strongo's into a show

http://www.cnngo.com/shanghai/eat/spring-means-one-thing-virgin-eggs-079721

Roffle.

oh my lord

For many, spring means flowers and shedding winter underwear, but for the city of Dongyang in Shanghai’s neighboring Zhejiang Province, it also means that it's time for virgin eggs.

For those familiar with tea eggs -- hard boiled eggs soaked in a mixture of soy sauce and vinegar -- virgin eggs are similar but with one exception: the dish is prepared with the urine from young boys.

i don't know what i was expecting, but it was not that

so "dr strongo's nuevo cuisine" was documentary, not parody?

::rethinks life::

xposts

whuutttt

The urine of young boys from Dongyang.

Locals say that the eggs “have the taste of spring.”

thank you for playing, you can leave your money on the collection plate by the door on your way out, it was a pleasure

I can already see DJP wanting to set up the sister city partnership between that and Cockfosters.

i'd still eat it

this fits in very well with my "fuck you, spring" philosophy

I have totally read about that before

maybe on ilx?

chipotle mayo is food of the devil (meaning it is unreal good)

otm

that's a valiant front you're putting on strongo, let me put in a call to my cousin and his two young sons, brb

there's 10 years of ilx to prove this is no front. as much as i might like it to be.

iatee you are right chinese ppl are the most disgusting savages in all the world imo

i started viewing my body as an extended experiment in comedy a long time before coming across virgin eggs.

I think strongo and me on an eating tour with me going "NO DON'T EAT THAT, aggggh" and strongo going "you can really get the nutty hints in this steamed goat poop" would be ratings gold

I knew it

you are recycling your 'freak people out w/ asian ppl shit' techniques

to think that when i woke up this morning to discover the existence of froot loops, i thought that would be the most disgusting foodstuff i would encounter in my day ;_; ;_;

huh don't you live in england?

Froot Loops are awesome! (not with mayo)

lol iatee have I ever told you about what asian ppl do w/ their towels after going to the bathroom

fruit loops are good but have you ever tried virgin fruit loops???

ya you told me, soak them in virgin urine

keeps em clean, makes sense

I am going to be looking askance at EVOO for a while

yeah we don't have froot loops in england. we don't have any cereal that colour. it perturbs me. i would feel extreme trepidation if i had to eat it.

I am like strongos eating habits, but with booze

Maybe I could get a spinoff show

potato salad is only good if it includes radishes and celery, and sometimes a hint of mustard.

tbh most of those cereals are better as dry snacks

Lucky Charms got me through college

jjj IIRC you were defeated by MALORT

I am like strongos eating habits, but with booze

Maybe I could get a spinoff show

― Gamin' the pole for SInbad (jjjusten), Monday, July 18, 2011 1:25 PM (17 seconds ago) Bookmark

FB and John Justen Will Drink It iirc

to be fair abject poverty keeps me from experimenting too often, except on a "putting a slim jim in ice cream" level.

I am like the Joannie loves chachi of shoveling terrible things into my gastrointestinal tract

um

i love you all.

I am like strongos eating habits, but with booze

Maybe I could get a spinoff show

― Gamin' the pole for SInbad (jjjusten), Monday, July 18, 2011 1:25 PM (9 seconds ago) Bookmark

It wasn’t a question so much as a setup, a taunt. “You can make a drink with anything?” the young man asked.

Before Michael J. Neff could answer, the man added, “Then make a drink with this.” And slapped it on the bar, in all its spongy glory.

A Hostess Twinkie.

That was more than six months ago, but when Mr. Neff told me the story last week, he winced, still aghast at the notion of such a potion, still amazed that he had gone ahead and concocted one.

How?

Well, he started by mashing — the correct term is muddling — the Twinkie and some strawberries in the bottom of a mixing glass. Then he stirred in cinnamon, Bailey’s Irish Cream and bourbon. Finally, he poured the results into a coupe.

WOULD DRINK

yeah that sounds great!

But that sounds awesome Xpost to Twinkie drink

Read the ending as 'poured the results into a corpse.'

^^ would smash this twinkietini

I feel like I have no friends

would smash ned, too, but that's an xpost for you

that's basically strawberry shortcake turned into a mixed drink, that's an amazing idea

Also this drink inevitably reminds me of this sketch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ZG0GDkz58

dammit don't have a Twinkie

Kim, I add mustard and celery seed, so you are mostly right! Radishes, HMMMMM, I would srsly consider.

Dan you have no idea how obsessed I have been with Malort since

seriously i see that fat bald guy on travel channel getting all squeamish over eating rat stewed in river mud or whatever and i'm like man up you pallid oompa loompa

if anybody wants to find me I'm gonna be over here in this corner sipping a bourbon remorsefully while looking at you all with your twinkietinis through sad-rimmed world weary eyes

how has 'cake mixed drinks' not become an actual thing yet, I wish I owned a bar

http://www.binnys.com

they deliver to MN

just saying

I have consumed spam infused vodka, ain't no Twinkie gonna break my stride tbh

wait up spam infused vodka???

why humans why

I've just finished eating some potato salad. It has to be freshly made, served slightly warm. Otherwise it's like eating lumps of wax.

haha justen why do i think our respective tombstones are going to say "he died as he lived, because he thought it'd be funny"

cake mixed drinks has become a thing. i was recently at a bar where all the "martinis" were like Red Velvet Cake Martini, which had butter-infused vodka and like five sweet liqueurs in it.

yeah but I mean milkshake-like, I don't just want it cake-flavored

I broke a 20 year moratorium on eating veal to taste this drink:

THE ABATTOIR.

batavia arrack, veal stock, caramelized onions, lillet, port

what is butter infused vodka even

batavia arrack, veal stock, caramelized onions, lillet, port

this sounds like a great meal, in toto

NOT IN THE SAME GLASS

After that, you should have no trouble staying off veal for another 20 years.

i made that up. all the drinks were just really gross-sounding

xp

they would make you a regular martini if you asked though.

I am going to invent a drink called the vodkatwinkie where you take a syringe full of vodka and inject it into a twinkie, then you take the twinkie and throw it directly into the trash why because that's disgusting

cake drinks always seem to involve vodka, which is the grossest.

http://omgwtf.boredindustries.com/2008/11/13/tampons-a-new-dangerous-way-for-teenage-girls-to-drink/

Haha strongo otm re: tombstones, maybe we could go in on a bulk rate deal

btw that drink was amazing, it tasted like french onion soup

long island french onion soup

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1278583/Young-people-drinking-neat-vodka-EYE-quick-buzz.html

Wondering now if there are pizza shakes.

i am going to invent a drink called the vodkatwinkie where you take a syringe full of vodka and inject it into a twinkie, then you take the twinkie and throw it directly into the trash why because that's disgusting

Haha you can not invent this because fb and I have already done this, no lie

I don't think you can call it "drinking" if you are absorbing booze through your uterine wall

I mean, maybe I'm wrong

these people are obviously just trying to avoid tasting vodka which is totally understandable

unlike the tampon thing the eye-vodka is real...my friend said his lacrosse buddies did it pretty frequently.

horseshoe otm about vodka btw

Well except we ate it, so I guess the process could be your thing

vodka can be great

not as great as gin or tequila, but better than rum

vodka is great you lunatics

there is no booze which isn't a sign that humanity's time on earth was not in vain

dude come to Boston, I have a shot of malort waiting for you

would anyone on the planet drink vodka for the flavor if it weren't alcoholic? other liquors have actual flavor, vodka just tastes like the poison it is.

otm

I would drink Belvedere, Chopin and Grey Goose neat

good vodka doesn't taste of anything per se, it just feels puuuure

eg yes belvedere

Russians

if I had 15 shots of random 'good' vodka on a table there's no way you'd be able to pick the belvedere or whatever, they've done this before with 'experts' iirc

i mean if i had a choice i'd be drinking 40-year-old scotch out of a giant glass tumbler all day every day, but in a pinch booze is booze is booze.

this is because no one has tastebuds after 15 shots of anything

I don't always believe in premium vodka, but I do believe in terrible vodka

Lookin at you 1.5 liter of karkov

esp if you also have an enormous candy cane

basically anything that comes in a plastic jug with a name that sounds like a rocky and bullwinkle villain is on some caveat emptor shit.

it is criminal you didn't grow up with us, strongo

it's like watching parallel lives

but if you're buying booze in any sort of plastic jug, then you and god and the non-judgmental man at the liquor store alone know just why you are.

vodka doesn't have its own flavor - that's kind of the whole deal with vodka. I made a peach-infused vodka last week & made it available to guests; the 5th lasted about a minute after the first guest took a taste, because it was insanely delicious

Hahahaha yeah I have a long history of great decision making huh

i already told aero about this but my best friend came back from a tour of the south with a mason jar full of moonshine that had been flavored with cinnamon sticks and it basically tasted like spiced apple cider and made you see your past lives.

Pro tip penniless vodka drinkers - that svedka shit is way better than it ought to be for the price

justen otm.

"uncle strongo who can recall his past lives while fucked up on moonshine"

srsly tho yall take a peach cut it up put it in a mason jar fill the jar with vodka let it sit a week and then strain. you will not believe how good. then pour it on potato salad & cry while eating

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3339/3202088572_bcbb8da4b2.jpg

^^ if strongo lived in england

They also do a Value Gin and Value White Rum. I've never tried any, but I'm sure it's all just the same stuff with different labels.

Ok see aero the whole problem here is the possibility of me leaving a mason jar full of vodka unmolested for a week

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_9AY7nhlw25M/S9qt8JmrGsI/AAAAAAAAAVI/HG7IEbXw2O0/s200/Tesco-Value-Motivational-Poster.png

if they made a radish infused vodka, would put that in my potato salad. actually... that would be amazing in tomato based drinks. someone needs to get on it.

radish...or HORSERADISH

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/31/45271635_0fa07b004a.jpg

lettering so large that even the worst alkie can see it through the fug

they've changed the font though, it just used to say in bold black caps

GIN

More often than not, if I deign to do shots w/someone (not really a huge fan), I'll do chilled vodka.

http://www.lootcorp.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/generic-beer.jpg

simple enough so the consumer doesn't think he's buying clamato

http://www.mysupermarket.co.uk/Images/ExternalImages/ProductsDetailed/75/009975.jpg?ts=633851753184

2%? Disgusting savages!

haha i didn't even notice that. why don't you just drink water ffs.

btw there is a place that is making horseradish infused vodka available, called referent http://referentvodka.com/

dont know how wide the distribution is, it started at the greatest vodka restaurant in MN, Moscow on the Hill. In house they also serve cherry (duh), dill, something else i cant remember, and tiramisu infused.

http://www.moscowonthehill.com/menu-bar.php

wait

are you saying the put a cake in some vodka

somebody left a cake out a bar oh no

more importantly why have we never gone there when I've been in town

Disgusting.

whoa they added coffee infused since i was last there

that nouveax russian martini on the second menu page is fucking magic in a glass just fyi

xpost i have no idea ;_;

^^^ bogarts all the vodka

to be clear, that bar will break you if you are not up on your game, the last out of town friend we brought there spent the ride home politely vomiting into a pastry bag in ks backseat so

2%? Disgusting savages!

― nickn, Monday, July 18, 2011 2:22 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha i didn't even notice that. why don't you just drink water ffs.

― apichathong song (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Monday, July 18, 2011 2:23 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

I have had a canned drink called a 'jolly shandy' before which is 0.5% alcohol iirc

anything below 7% might as well be diet coke imho

to be clear, that bar will break you if you are not up on your game, the last out of town friend we brought there spent the ride home politely vomiting into a pastry bag in ks backseat so

see there are all of these letters here but all I can read is "CHALLENGE! *throws gauntlet*"

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e185/solidghost_2009/jolly_shandy_lychee_ingredients.jpg

i recommend starting the night with the infused vodka flight and then lying down for a while

haha wait you can just straight up buy bottles

WE ARE GOING TO THIS PLACE

lololol

don't laugh, you are coming with us

u_u

Returning to the subject of potato salad for a wee moment, I make a nice tart potato salad using a recipe that came from my grandmother, which incorporates radishes, cider vinegar and dill pickles. It is not an abomination in any way, shape or form. It is excellent. My wife makes a potato salad nicoise, that uses warm potatos, blanched green beans and cherry tomatos. It, too, is excellent.

DJP, you need to expand your horizons.

ILX VODKA FAP

this new potato salad recipe interested me until I got to the cider vinegar

a potato salad with with chopped potatos, green beans and cherry tomatos would be delicous.

i also like putting chopped potatos in a regular green salad. woah, i know. try it sometime, it might blow your mind.

potatoes in regular salads are the absolute worst because I always assume they're apple bits and get excited until I bite into one

Just enough cider vinegar to give that bland potato base some backbone. A couple of tablespoons for about five cups of diced potato. It is also important not to cook the damn potatos to mush. They need to present a very slight resistance to your tooth or you've ruined them.

wait Dan are you anti-potato in general? because I cannot walk with you to the House of No Potatoes

I love french fries
I love baked potatoes
I love hash browns
I love home fries
I love gnocchi
I love spaetzle
I love mashed potatoes

I AM NOT ANTI POTATO, WHAT KIND OF SUCKA-ASS PUNK DO YOU TAKE ME FOR

the kind of who hates mayonaise

Aerosmith, I am ready to fight

http://www.nndb.com/people/246/000059069/stapp-mugshot-sized.jpg

google image search for spaetzle is not selling it to me, is spaetzle good?

omg yes it is

yes

if only there was a liquor that was made of potatoes we could settle this once and for all btw

don't fight with me Scott! I'm pro-potato I was just weirding out because it felt like some anti-potato politics were making your way into things there!

hi-res imgs of just such ill-advised culinary combos: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8c/Linsen_Spaetzle_2.jpg

like it's kind of like they tried to use the sausage 'for garnish'

okay I know what that looks like but I am certain it tastes great, that is actually exactly the type of food Germany is good at

everybody knows how I feel about Germany but I cannot front on spaetzle it is delicious

hey btw i just made myself a bologna baby swiss and mayo sandwich and i am both proud and ashamed

http://www.grapesandgrainsnyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/karlssons_vodka-156x300.jpg

sure, most of my favourite foods look gross, it actually is kinda nice not having to worry about something failing to look nice anyway.
i think it is the cheese that is throwing me.

felt bad about using whole grain but not running out to grab terrible white bread just to make a point

everybody knows how I feel about Germany but

i may have a history of culinary racism but

don't worry man, i ate a white bread sandwich earlier. i got you.

bread w/bread in the middle

</resultingpaste>

seems like its probably too late to get in on this but potato salad is good and mayonnaise is good

trying to estimate how many posts it would take for my imaginary "THINGS GERMANY IS GOOD AT" thread to turn on us all

when does geir normally wake up

Geir is currently confined to the "gay prog" thread so you have an artificial extension on yr thread's half-life

you guys know that mayonnaise is just a vinaigrette right? its just like... eggs and vinegar basically

Spaetzle is excellent!

confined there by choice or confined there like general zod?

because if all it took was a "gay prog" thread why didn't we think of this sooner.

also jesus the whole point of vodka is that it doesnt taste like anything

you guys know that mayonnaise is just a vinaigrette right? its just like... eggs and vinegar basically

but isn't it old eggs and vinegar though

max you know urine is 95% water, right? nothing wrong with water

god the number of food things ilx is able to get wrong on a single thread

Egg yolk, oil and vinegar, max

like it was eggs, and the slooshed them up into an oleaginous paste, and then it's sometime later and you're buying it in a jar and it used to be eggs

mayonnaise is disgusting and I don't need it to make an outstanding potato salad

― pathos of the unwarranted encore (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned)

Quoted for truth. Mayo is egg snot. Disgusting.

everybody likes mayo except dan and aero

also dan secretly like mayo

also vodka totally tastes like something: nasty.

what is the "5% urine" part of mayo

I prefer using greek yogurt over mayo most of the time, tho

max did you read dr. strongo and go "I like nerds, and I like salmon...don't see what's the big deal about nerd-encrusted salmon"

because if all it took was a "gay prog" thread why didn't we think of this sooner.

KJB is cleverer than us all

you don't have to think about mayo it's not a concept it's just delicious

I want to dispute that but it's such a great sentence

the fact that you would equate "eggs and vinegar" with "nerds and salmon" tells me all i need to know about your gustatory abilities

haha that is a thing i said to a friend once because she said she didn't understand "the concept" of fried chicken!!! i ask you.

no wait she didn't understand "the concept" of chicken and biscuits. but you see what i was dealing with.

lol my "gustatory abilities" pass the grey poupon would you old bean

"Mayo's a concept by which we measure our pain." - John Lennon

...

the "concept" of fried chicken and biscuits is that you have some chicken, and then you fried it, and then you ate it with some biscuits

it's not particularly difficult to grasp, I would say

not like, say, verb tenses

I'll break it down for you man - eggs are nice, vinegar's nice, when you whip them together they form a disgusting paste that's not fit for hogs

i was dumbfounded and i think my exact response was, "it's not a concept, son; it's delicious"

i wish you could see the face im making right now john

the "concept" of fried chicken and biscuits is that you have some chicken, and then you fried it, and then you ate it with some biscuits

it's not particularly difficult to grasp, I would say

sorry could you explain this to me a little better, feel like I'm missing something

ok mr professor plz explain this chicken and waffles thing the foodies keep yappin about then

OH HOLD ON!

i wish you could see the face im making right now john

it probably looks exactly like the face I make when I get a sandwich and forget to tell em not to put mayonnaise on it

oh btw we have a chicken & waffles place in my town that rivals and may even be better than Roscoe's there I said it.

expanding upon the already-proven "fried chicken" concept, you could substitute a waffle for the biscuit

in college my girlfriend claimed to hate mayonnaise, there was a place nearby that served aioli with fries and she loved the ailoi, i held that one back for months and then dropped it on her like a bomb while she was in the middle of the french fries, YOU'RE EATING GARLIC-FLAVORED MAYONNAISE, it didnt go over well in terms of our relationship but in terms of hilarious things it was great

that was mean, max, but i loled

shouldn't that be "fries with aioli", because I am imagining a big pile of mayo garnished with fries

no depths to which these mayo fiends will not stoop

just thinking of the children here

children are mayo fiends

along with 98% of Americans

children are also dicks

COINCIDENCE???????????

lol you sprung mayonnaise on her like something out of a roman feud between families, max

They're not exactly known for the acuity of their culinary easthetics, either

don't drop your monocle there, professor

you guys keep talking about culinary aesthetics and gustatory abilities but things are either mayo (delicious) or vodka (gross) it has nothing to do with anything else.

you guys have no idea, i spent months, months laughing to myself

we have some idea

also brb concocting mayo-and-vodka cocktail. i think i have just enough of each in the house.

if i don't survive, tell my wife i love her.

in case you dont survive plz post the recipe before you drink it so i can give it a shot

i only have rasberry vodka in the house at the moment but that might be better actually

That's gonna end up like one of those nasty Cement Mixer things, isn't it?

maybe I will make a Miracle Whip-and-malort cocktail in solidarity

into a chilled glass, measure 1 & 1/2 oz vodka. stir in 3 oz Hellman's; weep openly and enjoy!

serve poured over Funyuns

That will look so lovely coming back up...

into a chilled glass, measure 1 & 1/2 oz vodka. stir in 3 oz Hellman's; weep openly and enjoy!

― pathos of the unwarranted encore (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Monday, July 18, 2011 4:07 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

just to be clear, weep INTO the glass

The weeping keeps the mayo from congealing on the sides.

yknow if you had some spicy bloody mary mix and some bitters i am pretty sure you could make this work

i was going to say i may have actually had a bloody mary with mayo in it at some point. bloody marys are the only form in which vodka works because it adds to the heat

Bloody mary mix, oyster, horseradish and vodka shot is excellent, btw

<3 Mayo, <3 potato salad.

http://i54.tinypic.com/30vhlli.jpg
http://i56.tinypic.com/157i5pu.jpg
http://i54.tinypic.com/214zg3l.jpg
http://i51.tinypic.com/n4dvfd.jpg
http://i52.tinypic.com/zw13qe.jpg
http://i53.tinypic.com/egybmo.jpg

thread delivers

:-O

The Vodka Mayo
Type: Cocktail
Primary alcohol by volume: Vodka
Served: Stirred
Standard drinkware: Old fashioned cigar box

omg

http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0810/the-final-boss-demotivational-poster-1224024798.jpg

oh god

verdict: kinda sour, not wholly unpleasant, didn't die.

you are seriously hall of fame material

tell the people of my sacrifice. don't let it be in vain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUiTQvT0W_0

it's sad he drank mayonnaise mixed with vodka

you know, it's surprisingly hard to keep the camera straight when you're downing mayo and vodka

I'm fine w/German style but otherwise hell no.

if y'all have any other condiments you want me to try, holler before the vodka's all gone. i've got some ceasar dressing in the fridge and a really old jar of pepper relish.

in honor of the ketchup vs mustard poll, you should really do ketchup

also do you have any of the creamy horseradish sauce? or a LaVey-approved labia dressing?

I bet the relish will be great

yeah the relish almost seems too easy

Well how old is the pepper relish, because with enough fermentation that could become it's own core liquor

btw i've named this mayo/vodka drink the "burl ives" ala the nipsy russell

I love potato salad also I set fires to orphanages

Horseradish sounds good.

we have three different types of mustard, I should do a taste test (guessing brown would go best with mango vodka)

this thread has turned into people attentively preparing the foods that featured in their 'shit i would rather eat a ______ than go near a potato salad' claims

in a weird way that kinda WAS potato salad

Strongo continues to set the bar IMO

i'm gonna bookmark those photos so the next time i wonder how i've made it to 33 without getting married, owning a home, pursuing a stable career or any of the other signifiers of regular adult life i'll have a readymade answer

where is a serious girl who aims mayo

mayo technology

mayo squirting

I love potato salad also I set fires to orphanages

underrated post

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

skipping 329 messages

Damn straight code otm

Potato salad is good to eat btw

wait, 'labia dressing'

What kind of code hides 329 messages but leaves that phrase not only out but at eye-level?

this thread contains wonders fuiud

What kind of code hides 329 messages but leaves that phrase not only out but at eye-level?

the kind that has one eye on the future

i don't want to know what has the other eye shut tbph

update: intense humidity and direct sunlight reacting poorly with mayo/vodka cocktail.

tbf that might also be the other vodka-based cocktails i had after.

FUCK DUDE CLOSE THE BLINDS DO IT NOW also hydrate

I AM OUTSIDE. THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM THE MATRIX.

UGH ONE BOTTLE WATER RIGHT NOW PUT VITAMIN C & MAGNESIUM IN IT CONDITION CRITICAL

i wouldnt even be out here if i hadnt wasted that vodka on condiment tomfoolery. what a world.

'naisel ingestion- risky

i loooove good potato salad, but there's a lot of bad potato salad out there

sometimes i look in the deli case and wonder, but it would only disappoint

jess = hero

I cant help but wonder if mayo-haters have jhust had shitty processed store bought mayo, but I'm quite sure we've all gone over this before.

Potato salad dressed with a dressing of GOOD home made mayo, lemon juice, mustard. Tossed thru only just-cooked chunks (skin on) of good quality taters (waxy not floury). Chopped boiled egg, dill pickles, celery, spring onions (scallions). Its just not wrong.

However bad any specific potato salad is, it would be worse if it were macaroni salad.

nickn coming with God's own truth

Wait, what do you crazy merkins call "macaroni salad", because I wont hear a word said against my pasta salad (pasta, dressing of lemon juice, crushed garlic, EVOO, loads of cracked pepper), diced red capsicum, baby spinach leaves, bocconcini cheese chunks, and if you like it, some tuna.

(oh and mustard in the dressing oops forgot)

tuna hits a false note

Hence it being optional (and cos I have a lot of vegetarian friends anyway so I exercise discretion)

GIS result for macaroni salad:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xc01hQGk0tY/SfxZV98NSlI/AAAAAAAAA_Q/LekM6sM10tM/s320/IMG_0691.JPG

Wow that is WAY too much mayo.

Aimless otm though that one looks like it hasn't been sitting in a plastic tub for enough months yet

I picked one of the least appetizing looking ones to give you the idea more forcefully. This is a Hawaiian version, where macaroni salad is popular much as Spam(tm) is popular there. According to my wife, almost any meal you order at a food cart will have a glob of this stuff on it.

I used macaroni instead of pasta to refer to that specific mayo-soaked abomination. I like pasta salads in general.

you people are beneath contempt and i'll be toasting you with a glass full of mayo from the wing of hell reserved for fatties

bottom's up!

Aha I was wondering when this was going to get around to macaroni soaked in mayo and stored in plastic tubs. And now that time is upon us and I do in fact roo the day.

Trayce's recipe for potato salad is basically my ideal, altho evidence favors Russet baking potatoes over waxy ones for improved absorption and dispersal of the cooking liquid and then the vinegar throughout.

^^^science

i would like to partake of your next experiment milaurel

Reading this thread made me sure as hell want to make some! But I'm broke so I can only buy what I need to eat between now and Friday morning, and also it's too hot to boil anything.

I like potato salad with chopped up hard boiled eggs.

i don't really like hard boiked eggs. softboiled eggs on the otherhand...

Sorry but in re the article about vodka tampons: "soaked tampons in vodka and then introduced them into her anus and vagina as though she were having her period, in the usual manner."

Uh, not quite.

who likes boiked eggs?

laurel i am by no means a wealthy man, but i will happily sponsor your potato salad efforts for a yummy cut of the product

My girlfriend found this recipe and made it the other month. Pickled onions, asparagus, mustard vinaigrette. Dee-licious. (NB: no mayo.)

Boinked eggs

ok i am back from a show and the wife is asleep and thus unable to stop me so i am GOING IN on mayo cocktail

ok i only have rasberry vodka, subbing tequila, because why not compound bad choices really

bless

but what is yr point

Becz JJ (sans FB in this case) will drink it, shurely?

that was just terrible

i modified

bad choice

Im sure some salad dressings have teq or vod or similar as an ingredient. Not to drink, obviously but to eat at least. But then again...

trying to make a new flickr account so i can share this with yall without making facebook aware of what i have done

xpost no see the problem is that as i pulled out the mayo i noticed that i had another condiment to include AND THAT HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE

ut oh.

two choices, diverged in a yellow sauce
and sorry I could not drink both
and be one ilxor, long i stood
and stared at the goo as long as i could go

http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/282752_10150324824240590_545080589_9836052_2188074_n.jpg
http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/283910_10150324824590590_545080589_9836055_3557720_n.jpg

frog look like i feel

WASABI!? Oh my.

there is a middle picture of the stirred up clot-o-thon but my phone decided to save me from myself and not document it

brothers in self-harm

btw j, 16 or so hours later i'm still alive, and aside from a slight headache i feel fine, so you should be alright.

admittedly the tequila changes things, so just in case: rip its so sad he drank a mayorita

So which one of you tough guys is going to put a vodka-soaked tampon up your butt?

i'm off work @ 3. so.

if jj wakes up beforehand and wants to field this one though, i'll cede the floor

I was just thinking about the logistics of that (kind of hate u for that ILX) and I don't even know if it's possible, since once the tampon absorbs a liquid, it increases in size and loses rigidity so it's no longer easily insertable.

would be easier to do a vodka douche, surely

please nobody revive the hated meme 'lysol douche', btw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4zw99VsoMA

thank you all for undoing years of work forcing myself to forget about the existence of macaroni salad

sweetened condensed milk being the real gag-inducer there imho

would be easier to do a vodka douche, surely

When you've reached the point of washing out your orifices with booze, you have to wonder why you wouldn't just go ahead and put it in your mouth.

There was an SVU about vodka tampons. The murderer's mother was a drunk opera singer who used them because she didn't want to ruin her voice with drinking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jutuEhkSnCU
potato salad!

There was an SVU about vodka tampons. The murderer's mother was a drunk opera singer who used them because she didn't want to ruin her voice with drinking.

― tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, July 19, 2011 9:58 AM (39 minutes ago) Bookmark

coming soon, an SVU episode featuring a woman from thailand who drank vodka with her mouth because she didn't want to ruin her... aah nevermind

So which one of you tough guys is going to put a vodka-soaked tampon up your butt?

― ilx poster and keen dairy observer (Jenny), Tuesday, July 19, 2011 7:32 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

lol @ this out of nowhere

please no butt alcohol, please!

i refer you to the darwin award winner who died after giving himself sherry enemas

alistair cook?

lol

i can't deal with mayo in most cases, but:

a *very small amount* mixed in with tuna or egg salad is fine.

cannot abide by chicken salad, potato salad, macaroni salad, salmon salad, etc. if mayo is present.

xp There was precedent for that question!

http://www.reuters.com/article/2007/10/04/us-texas-sherry-enema-idUSN0328038520071004

^^^^ sherry enema case, if you were curious

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

i never met a potato i didn't like

the mayo haters are a minority

a loud minority

but a minority

these results make me feel better about the events of the last few days

up next, feeling better about the events of the previous 12,289 days

Yes; I also like to eat tires, roofing nails and small children. 61
No; I understand vile culinary abominations when I see them. 18

Damn straight.

enjoy your tasty roofing nails

We are wise to your tricks, Mr. Perry, and they do not faze us, the lovers of potato salad and small children.

some of us love potato salad and hate small children, but we're still onto you.

my dad has a great family recipe for potato salad; he made me some the other day and i had it for lunch today and thought of this thread. good to see that the right side won.

1. make a potato salad
2. throw it in the garbage

gonna break into your house and put potato salad in all your shoes.

mayo is the blood of Satan

but German potato salad is good!

I am sure this has been said here 100000000x times

there are so many different variations of potato salad that i kinda feel like it only makes sense to dismiss the whole dish if you straight up hate potatoes

Mayo is a less hip version of an aioli