Kenny Dalglish Won't Be Delivering the Module: English Premiership 2011-12

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shit title

suppose lfc would settle for any title tho what what

fuck off back to the Europa League where youse belong

HE'S READY

http://indepthafrica.com/soccer/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/aguero-city1.jpg

THEY'RE READY

http://img.ibtimes.com/www/data/images/full/2011/02/03/63117-liverpool-soccer-clubs-new-signings-carroll-and-suarez-pose-for-photog.jpg

HE'S hey wtf

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rwziVAfJdfQ/TgJZUFJqjyI/AAAAAAAAA7Q/hY-LLRNDCoE/s640/GEORGIA+SALPA.jpg

HEY WTF

that last pic was meant to be this

http://spurs.theoffside.com/files/2011/07/Luka-Modric-Chelsea-237x300.jpg

lol c&p mishaps huh

i was like that can't be a tranny no way

shit title

Don't worry. It'll be replaced by a thread title of "super quality" by the close of the window.

should have worked "'Avin' a Go" in there somehow

has snider had a hair transplant y/n

sorry, snyder

Does the league not allow tremas on shirts or do City not know their players' names?

At least ILF got it right: Sergio Agüero

Module is deliverable imo, thread starter to eat words come end of season.

I approve of 'EPL''s ascension to official status btw.

The other thing about the thread title - as well as google inaccessibility, it's passing-interest-proof. Other than the couple dozen of us, who is ever going to be intrigued to click on that?

don't be such a fucking snob

Is "the Module" Champions League qualification?

the module is whatever the guvnor sez it is sonny

http://forum.ge/uploads/post-73-1215384239.jpg

I just miss the word Liverpool tied to not winning something in the thread title tbh

has snider had a hair transplant y/n

Definitely. That's why him and Wayne must be in the same team. Trading grooming tips etc.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/08/07/article-2023254-0D54428B00000578-971_634x549.jpg

Levy's plan to welcome Adebayor to the club goes a bit too far.

I just miss the word Liverpool tied to not winning something in the thread title tbh

― I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Sunday, 7 August 2011 00:17 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I just miss the word Liverpool tied to not winning something in the thread title tbh

― I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Sunday, 7 August 2011 00:17 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I just miss the word Liverpool tied to not winning something in the thread title tbh

― I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Sunday, 7 August 2011 00:17 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I just miss the word Liverpool tied to not winning something in the thread title tbh

― I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Sunday, 7 August 2011 00:17 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I just miss the word Liverpool tied to not winning something in the thread title tbh

― I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Sunday, 7 August 2011 00:17 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Chelsea teenager Oriol Romeu, who joined last week from Barcelona on a four-year deal, has revealed he would like to return to the Spanish giants in the future.
Full story: Metro

good luck chelsea

I just miss the word Liverpool tied to not winning something in the thread title tbh

JEEZ GUYS SORRY THE THREAD TITLE CONTAINS NO REFERENCE TO LIVERPOOL NOT WINNING ANYTHING

I like the thread title's fusion of English traditionalism with modern continental techniques.

The other thing about the thread title - as well as google inaccessibility, it's passing-interest-proof. Other than the couple dozen of us, who is ever going to be intrigued to click on that?

Fair point - I've killed EPL in the thread title. Delivering the module there.

unilateral imo

original title lives on in bookmarks

what's the best website for streaming highlights of other sports? is there a 101gg for golf/tennis

Gah, I'm a big fan of 'EPL'! Will keep mouth shut. The unattractiveness comes from fusion of Dalglish & management speak imo, but yes, I agree with the benefit for passing trade.

Anyway, if I were a City fan I'd be concerned about what's coming from Mancini right now. He's already talking down their title chances and suggesting they might not have the right mentality. A++++ motivation there dude.

Dunno, I get the impression that in private Mancini's probably all "you must kill these guys, ALL of them! We must win the league" What he says to the media is another thing altogether.

Hart, Richards, Kompany, Lescott, Kolarov, De Jong, Silva, Yaya, Milner, Balotelli, Dzeko.

De Gea, Smalling, Ferdinand, Vidic, Evra, Nani, Carrick, Anderson, Young, Rooney, Welbeck.

Anyone got a decent Charity Shield stream?

There's this one: http://www.rojadirecta.es/goto/u20cup-ch05.blogspot.com/

Don't know if it's decent though.

veetlesportshd2.blogspot.com/2011/08/channel-1.html

feeling this new utd keeper

Fergie won't be delivering the module either if De Gea carries on like this.

I can see Fergie in two years repeating how he regrets not having bought Stekelenburg earlier, just as he keeps lamenting that he got Van der Sar too late.

Is De Gea wearing and old VdS shirt btw? Looks huge on him.

I wonder why the red-nosed old Scottish drunk keeps bunging secret fees to GestiFute for players like Cronaldo, Nani, Anderson, Bebe and De Gea?

Richards should've been off for that.

Yeah. It's been fairly fractious for an ostensible friendly

That was a pretty amazing team goal just then, how many passes in and around the area?

Mancini's inspirational Barry-for-Balotelli substitution looking pretty stupid now.

Yeah that was a great atrtack

This Cleverly guy looks a good player, is he English?

Lol-Kompany

'the Nani state', srsly?

Mancini won't be delivering the module either if they carry on like this, pretty lolworthy capitulation really...

Nani still the best player in the prem

http://imgnook.com/1BOo.gif

good 2nd half missed first.

Cleverly was quite impressive when he came on. Maybe he can oust Carrick this year.

Was watching Mainz/Leverkusen so missed this apart from the Dzeko goal. That goal that cozen posted above is an absolute gem tho.

Cosign on tremendousness of that goal.

never seen the game the day. spunking all over the shop at that goal.

Oh yeah wow, that's really special. You can see what they've been doing with their summer.

Cosign on tremendousness of that goal.

― William Bloody Swygart, Sunday, 7 August 2011 21:46 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Barçaesque (on dat troll shit).

dang that goal

Maybe Little Scholesy was holding them back all these years.

btw in the interests of pedantry, the top division in English football is called the English Premier League. the Premiership is some Rugby thing or something.

Good point, can we get a title change on the 01/02, 02/03, 03/04, 04/05, 05/06, 07/08, 09/10 and 10/11 threads please?

It was the Barclays Premiership and has been the Barclays Premier League since '07/'08.

Looking forward to the official The FA Cup with Budweiser thread.

You really want this now, after the NAMING RIGHTS fiasco last season?

btw I can announce that I signed for Arsenal at the weekend - just waiting for the red membership paperwork to be completed then it'll be down to some serious badge-kissing. Obviously it would be my dream to someday return to Liverpool, etc.

Just think, when Liverpool win the title they will be pulling their shirt over your head against your will due to immense amounts of Scouse DNA.

you should see the quotes from pandemic today in the other thread

Maybe Little Scholesy was holding them back all these years.

Well, it's clearly no coincidence that we looked way more dynamic once Carrick went off. We never would have scored that goal with him on the pitch.

putting forward the scandalous motion to move this thread to ilf, i cannae be fucked clicking hither & yon

pretty sure that this thread must stay in ile as per ilf articles if association

putting forward the scandalous motion to move this thread to ilf, i cannae be fucked clicking hither & yon

Bookmarks, dude (also it's still called EPL, none of your Premiership nonsense, in bookmarks)

http://www.arsenal.com/juniorgunners/news/gunnersaurus-weekly-blog-august-8?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+arsenal-news+%28News+Feed%29

so disappointed this isn't just "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01288/SNN0907BB-6822_1288929a.jpg

Outstanding!!

Gunnersarus blog is depressingly mundane

Might have to sign up as a Junior Gunner for a copy of TJ and the Winning Goal.

gunnersaurus keeping shtoom about accidentally breathing fire on lord harris' carpetright store this wknd i see

AOC looks to be on dis ting? Said to be having a medical this week?

/rumour mill and twitter

Need some of that super quality he would bring.

aoc?

alex oxtail-chamberpot

Palacios to Stoke rumours doing the rounds as well. He'll add some much needed steel to their midfield.

Wenger putting the Oxencart before the Chamberpot.

vg

Ok, so when I said 'this week', I should have said 'today

Pretty excited to see AOC at Arsenal. Supposedly an even better prospect than Bale and Theo were? [that's not coming from me, i've only ever seen him in that utd fa cup match] Also w/ him and the promotions of Gibbs and Lansury we could move off the bottom of 'how many englishers do they play' league so Shearer and his ilk can bang on about someone else.

Shearer won't be happy with the spelling 'Henri'.

I'll be sorely disappointed if Henri doesn't break out his 'dougie' if/when he scores this season.

our 'enri.

Citeh have agreed personal terms of £185,000 a week with Nasri, according to the Independent.

good, ffs. Deal is too good to turn down for arsenal and may lead to fabregas finally fucking off

Kind of assuming that every London game will be called off this weekend, if only to free up police numbers.

Argh I can't believe it's come to this - Nasri, Cesc a certainty to leave too, no replacements. I really thought that last season could've been a learning experience, what-doesn't-kill-you-makes-you-mentally-stronger experience. But now it's back to square one. Where's the mental strength coming from? Who's going to carry them when they're up against it? Arshavin?

Need some players with not just quality but super quality, like Squillaci.

scrappy doo

fuck's sake

The riots aren't *that* bad can i get a little company in here

Chippy Vela off to Lorient. Not Orient.

And 'arry is only 'aving a mild go for Diarra.

"ex-Chelsea man" Diarra, that is. Ahem.

send the facts out to war imo

Diarra, samba, adebayor in, crouch or pav, wilson and blackburn's pick of keane bentley or hutton out.

Don't like adebayor but still, that's ok that is

Look forward to Hleb and Denilson signing for Spurs in a year or too. Even Citeh should be able to see through them.

yeah getting rid of those two really worked out for ye

Not convinced by this whole Diarra thing - failed stints at Arsenal, Chelsea, Portsmouth (!!!), has he covered himself in glory at Madrid particularly?

Wilson to Stoke looks like it's happening. Because what they really need is another shitkicker.

unfairly ignored at arsenal, imo, probably fairly ignored at chelsea behind essien, right? Very good for portsmouth imo, and i thought he was good for the first while at least for real, til they signed everyone else.

I don't see a problem w/ Nasri leaving for 25m tbh. It's a shame it is to City but that is a number that can buy us one hell of a player, or two very exciting ones. Also considering that Ozil only went for half of that w/ 1 year left shows we still got game at negotiating.

Stupid to pay £25m alright. City should just wait out the year imo.

would be missing the point- another dig at arsenal, one of three teams that could bother them

tho in this case 20-25m is overvaluing that dig.

Not that it matters. Wenger will spend as much of that 25m as he would a free transfer

Also considering that Ozil only went for half of that w/ 1 year left shows we still got game at negotiating.

― I am Louise Boat (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 9 August 2011 12:06 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol what? once again using the extreme outliers to buff up your nonsense

Gonna be hilarious when Nasri breaks a leg on his first game at Eastlands.

you're thinking of diaby, van persie, rosicky, etc etc

yeah kinda skeptical that wenger will end up with the team strengthened after nasri's departure.

once again using the extreme outliers to buff up your nonsense
― r|t|c, Tuesday, 9 August 2011 11:20 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's the arsenal way

Also considering that Ozil only went for half of that w/ 1 year left shows we still got game at negotiating.

― I am Louise Boat (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 9 August 2011 12:06 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark

Yeah sorry but this is bollocks. "Got game"? Arsenal is being humiliated! ManC just waves a cheque, they don't care if they have to pay 20 or 30 million, they'll laugh their asses off that yet again Arsenal budges and takes the cheque, fooling themselves, like you do, justifying it by saying "oohh well we can get a really good player back for that money!". Which never happens.

arsenal arent being humiliated - please don't let gooners get away with talking shit by ott counteraction, happens all the time - and 25m is a good deal but it's just standard procedure not some feat of badass bartering

I'm not letting any gooners get away. I am a gooner.

- city always go ham - look at the de jong deal
- ozil, khedira and sahin deals are no yardstick for anything

it's just somewhere mundane in the middle is all

nah, tbh 25m is great money for an expiring contract, it makes sense

Arsenal have just spent what £12m on a promising teenager who probably won't improve the first team for a couple of years.

^^ this.

Even is 25m is fair, having faith in Arsenal for splashing cash on a top player, for once, is kidding yourself imho.

Even if

xxxp haha ok soz bateau. i just find it frustrating when there's deserving criticisms to be made but people kneejerk into little england mode and make wenger look like the sanest man in the world

On the other hand if they take some of the money and land Gotze before the end of August I take it all back. Hope they don't tho.

players arsenal bought that were already somewhat good, out of the current lot

Vermaelen half broke
Van persie 75% broke
Arshavin half wages half bothered
Rosicky fully broke
??????

This is not bargain shopping this is being conned. I can see why arsene doesn't want to spend- he's no good at it these days.

ok my bad.

but this is so wrong:

"oohh well we can get a really good player back for that money!". Which never happens.

― I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 9 August 2011 12:24 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark

Vermaelan post Toure? Pires post Overmars? Henry post Anelka? Nasri post Hleb? etc.

It's cool rtc :)

I've a lot of love for Wenger but if I gave the impression he's the sanest man in the world I do apologize ;)

I just think Arsenal should have said: enough is enough: Nasri and Cesc aren't leaving. If it means the former leaving on a free next year, so be it. We finally want to win a fucking prize this year.

Urgh, Spurs fan doing the proven track record ting, really?

isnt the gotze cat kinda out of the bag now? ie the way people are talking about him now it seems unlikely he'd go for under 30m.

then again i have no idea of what dortmund's finances are like and what bids they can withstand

Also, Nasri has already been replaced? By a guy who scored 15 last season and won a league?

Ok Sam, maybe not *never*, but way too little. And Nasri was hardly the player leading the team when they bought him. He was a highly talented youngster that still needed a year at least to start blossoming iirc

probably correct r/t/c. I just always assume that German clubs other than Bayern take the money chucked at them. Having said that don't know why Arsenal would be more attractive to Gotze than Dortmund tbh

we're talking about wenger.

Nasri hasn't delivered, six months one season in three doesn't allow you that claim.

Vermaelen is too broke, he's good besides.

The others were ten years ago.

Citeh fucking stupid to 'ave a go for a player who's had six good months in the past four seasons.

yeah it's a good sale

Wenger's ability to make great signings has pretty much declined with the French football team. I wonder whether he's got the same level of contacts that he used to.

BTW I agree you with you guys on most of this, it is just the way you all decide to gang up on me like you are teaching me a lesson is the stupidest shit.

For example, Nasri won France's YPOTY and then POTY in the same way Hazard and Gotze have just done (think Gotze just won YPOTY iirc?) - so why is he an example of not buying good replacements but Gotze will?

BTW I agree you with you guys on most of this, it is just the way you all decide to gang up on me like you are teaching me a lesson is the stupidest shit.

This seems projection on your part, not how I am feeling this at all tbh

Wenger's ability to make great signings has pretty much declined with the French football team. I wonder whether he's got the same level of contacts that he used to.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 9 August 2011 12:46 (30 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Players he has bought who have been experienced French internationals: Pires, Squallici, Wiltord, Petit... I think Nasri had like 7 caps.

Well on the point that Wenger rarely buys like-for-like experienced replacements, we agree yes LBI?

That he rarely does that? Yes.

Steering clear of most of this mess:

-Rafa Honigstein was asked on Twitter recently about Gotze going, to Arsenal or elsewhere. His reply was 'Messi is more likely to leave.' I don't know whether he meant this summer only, or after that as well.

-darragh, do you know offhand how much Rosicky & Van Persie cost, or are you just assuming they were somewhere in the ~15m range and thus can be lumped with Arshavin as examples of Wenger getting conned?

Using the Nasri money to sign Messi, eh?

nah, i know they were cheap. Vp was only 3m odd, rosicky about 7m

The problem is that they are, esp rvp, first team players in all but actuality. We have the same with King. Limbo where you don't replace them with real quality and their inferior 'cover' plays more games than they do.

And my point was, even at cheap prices, part time world class footballers are a false economy.

So, tbf to me, no i was't just having a clueless dig there for a change

Wiki:

Disagreements with coach Bert van Marwijk culminated in a change of club and van Persie moved to Premier League side Arsenal for £2.75 million in 2004 as a long-term replacement for Dennis Bergkamp.

arshavin is probably his best first-team purchase for years, rivalled only by vermaelen? Who is broke.

Broke in so much as he is fit to start the season?

Van Persie: seven seasons, 230 matches (avg. 32.9), 95 goals. You'd have to include Ledley King's last nine seasons to get near the same number of matches, even if you politely set aside the issue of their relative quality w/out further comment.

ledley king easily as good as rvp imo

how many matches do arsenal play a season? 55? 60? So RVP played about 60%? Okay, I guess.

Yeah, OK is about right - not ideal, but not '75 % broke'.

Meanwhile Vermaelen has a slightly sore back, Achilles is fine. Rosicky is healthy, just not pacey like he once was, but compared to say Huddlestone he's a young Joe Cole.

I know it's all about winding up one poster in particular, but the standard of veracity could be better imo.

king was a really good player a few years ago but rvp is a level ahead of that

your standard of veracity is being used to downplay rvp's injury record

You can keep it tbh

In fairness RVP is pretty lethal whenever he's not injured. As far as coming back from injury goes he's probably in the top three players in the world.

also, i wasn't comparing rvp to king- both equivalently talented players imo as it happens- merely pointing out that each being central to a team yet being available ~ half the time is a huge handicap. I dunno can it be overstated tbh.

rvp is a 14 goal a season striker.

Pav is that.

No joke tho, pav at arsenal would be a good fit.

vermaelen and rosicky are fit today, fair fucks.

king was a step ahead of rvp a couple years back but his injury situation is a total joke. His knees have us hamstrung.

xps: Absolutely a huge handicap. But it has precious little to do with Wenger's more recent signings, and whether he's lost his touch.

Last relevant comment on that topic itt was probably Matt on the recent failures of the highly rated young French players. Gourcuff, Benzema and Menez not exactly a golden generation.

but would do a job at arsenal atm non?

jury's still out on benzema imo

Maybe Benzema, but if Wenger paid more than 15m for him he'd be getting conned, and I doubt he'd go for less than 30m.

The others, don't think so.

Gourcuff, Benzema and Menez not exactly a golden generation.

― boxall, Tuesday, 9 August 2011 15:27 (34 minutes ago) Bookmark

idk, all kinda mismanaged no? or not suitably motivated. def been flickers of world class in there

Also Wenger's contacts would be for the French League as a whole presumably, not just French players. tbf understandably priced out of drogba, essien, malouda

contacts should preclude being priced out of those deals, though not every time tbf

he could have had drogba (and ibra, and yaya) early on tbf

yeah weren't blackburn offered drogba for 9m the year before?

didn't know that. was just questioning the idea that the current poor crop of French players (tho i rate benzema quite highly actually) is an explanation for wenger's transfer dealings over the last 6 years.

we had a bid accepted for drogba when he was in the french second division, for 300k, but couldn't get the work permit iirc

darragh is a dick, even if i still <3 him.

don't be the new lfc lads, i implore ye

i dunno what you mean, my craziness is a much different taste to the scouse wines.

wengerian denial there

Ryo Miyaichi got his work permit for Arsenl btw

He had a good season at Feyenoord

are you trolling

i don't know what those lads get up to in the Ireland camp but i think we shd stop letting them have Doyle if they're gonna keep sending him back broken

No deems

;)

Ryo Miyaichi got his work permit for Arsenl btw

― I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 9 August 2011 17:51 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ok this is a kid i super excited about. #newronaldo #notnewinamotohopefully

He really did have a good half year at Feyenoord though.

i never disputed that?

Was responding to Deems

he's killfiled me i win

lol

lol no i just skim read and didnt notice you

think we need threads for all the ilx reglas

not that type of poster: deems 10/11

*ilf*

i am by times unfairly maligned as less than earnest in my unceasing critique of millionaire managers

http://www.sport.es/resources/jpg/4/0/1312930647904.jpg

stoke a bit fuckin cheeky, non?

Crouch and palacios for <20m - well fair fuckin enough, far be it from me to value crouch above 5m for a start

But

'And we can't pay their wages neither, can you do that?' is a bit much.

Probably worth it to get rid. Maximum wage cap is all well and good til you realise you're paying it indiscriminately to every cunt

keane thinks he'll go, but is holding out for an epl club

well robbie i'd like to get my cheese from m&s but guess what come the end of this block of gruyere it'll be lidl i'm heading to, won't it, so let's all just face facts eh

Robbie Keane strikes me as having a staggering lack of humility. If he'd done anything of note at West Ham he might have a case but loads of player, including 40-year old Teddy Sheringham and Craig Bellamy, were better when they dropped down a level.

Surely Sunderland are stupid enough to take him right now? They love a big-time Irishman.

They love a big-time Irishman

Even more than Celtic do

i'd take offence if it were anything but plain fact

His fuckin wages are preposterous, is the thing.

OTM

Robbie Keane strikes me as having a staggering lack of humility.

Irish fans are depressingly familiar with this fact. Can't imagine what it's like being a Spurs fan into the bargain. Probably doesn't help that his combined transfer fees total 70m

Spurs, first time round, only club not to regret buying him? Maybe Coventry as well.

that side is irrelevant, tbh- he'd moved around a lot but was probably only overvalued in his last two moves, to liverpool and back.

It's fair to point out that he was really great for us for many years, but for a long time now he's brought his 'ireland international' head into the day job with him. He's an ugly thing to watch with that head on him, petulant, wasteful, stupid, lazy and arrogant.

A free transfer for a 31yr old with 50 international goals and better than one in three throughout his career might be good business.

Transfer fee comment was merely a lame joke about his own sense of self-worth. How come he didn't stay at Celtic that time? They didn't have the cash i suppose?

for a long time now he's brought his 'ireland international' head into the day job with him

so true, i can remember here when matt would think i was mental for slating him constantly, but if you never saw him for ireland you'd never have disliked. he's been the irish robbie keane since moving to liverpool, that gait of trying too hard to appear like trying when he isn't actually doing anything. would rather dive than win a ball.

How come he didn't stay at Celtic that time? They didn't have the cash i suppose?

I don't think it was ever actually an option (also suspect Lennon didn't want to keep him)

Blackburn's Christopher Samba, meet transfer target Sol Bamba. Sol Bamba, Christopher Samba.

get young coleman out of your fantasy teams

?? crocked?

up to 6mths, ligaments after friendly tackle

cryin seam

srsly he is a good player

Fucks sake. That's awful

yeah good player, esp going frwd, gave us a torrid time in the Hodgson derby.

i like him, irish bale obvs

Trapp probably wasn't going to pick him anyway

true

get cesc out of your fantasy teams

injured? SOLD???

killed

LOOOOOOOOOOL

£25m + £5m in add ons? Or is that just Daily Mail speculation?

cesc to barca is the most enervating and boring TRANSFER SAGA of all timessss

Will be off to Barca within the next 48 years, according to Balague.

hard pressed to think of a worse

Balague also had him off to Barca last summer, the summer before that and the two previous summers.

Guess he's right this time though.

http://i.imgur.com/f8ELf.jpg

just look at the poor fucker, he can hardly keep his eyes open

Cesc paying five million of it apparently.

Etoo to Anzhi is a crazy one.

Will be off to Barca within the next 48 years, according to Balague.

hedging his bets a bit there tbh

Debut v Real on Sunday then, or will he still be injured?

just watching an attenborough where a wasp injects its larvae into a caterpillar, which then feeds them out of its own resources before they eat their way out and leave it a dead husk.

As it happens.

hahahaha

Eto'o hasn't gone and gone there, has he?!

770k pw says he has

*gosh*

what a waste

et to'o, samu

!

£770k a week a reasonable wage to endure constant racist abuse while sleepwalking past a load of shit defenders into the goal.

+ buy a nice coat for the winter

@danroan Fabregas is indeed on verge of leaving Arsenal for Barca. Board member I spoke to expects it done by w'end and adamant all funds reinvested

Maybe the Highbury condos need refurbishing already.

Not a fan of pre season friendlies as a rule, but the first half of Germany vs Brazil has been good. First start for Gotze.

mustn't. do. goatse. joke.

i hear he's partic good at stretching play and pulling the rearguard out of position

i hear he's got an incredibly stretchy arsehole

Can't imagine any joke of this sort could be as entertaining as watching Gotze play. (He scored against Brazil as I was typing that.)

Guess this shouldn't really be in the Premier League thread though.

hope he moves to wolves

http://www.offthepost.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/mick-mccarthy.gif

moratti calling the eto'o offer "intelligent, interesting, and fair" is more entertaining than either gotze or goatse imo tbf

Has Scott Parker gone anywhere? LOL Player of the Year.

priced out of a move

Wenger could learn from that tbh

Player of the Year's been a poisioned chalice for Parker I think - West Ham have priced him out of a move but c'mon the guy's on the other side of 30 and is probably at his peak now. He's not going to get considerably better and there isn't that much of a career in front of him.

Denilson loan watch: has now been sent off twice in three games in Brazil.

Bring him home.

i know that everyone is sick to death of the debacle, but why the fuck would arsenal accept 27m for their whinging baby of a captain?

you really don't understand the art of negotiation, do you?

B: £35m
A: £40m
B: £30m
A: £35m
B: £27m
A: Done.

i know that everyone is sick to death of the debacle, but why the fuck would arsenal accept 27m for their whinging baby of a captain?

Because increased brinksmanship might get them more money, but it'll also mean the saga goes on until transfer deadline day with no opportunity to buy a replacement who isn't some lame panic option. The Berbatov Condundrum in other words.

i maybe don't at that, tbh. I know landlords in mayo utilise the same tactic but maybe the standards are just higher at my job than at arsenal's transfer dept

my response: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH

There's also a problem in that big-name transfers from England to Europe are going to be lower at the moment than transfers between English clubs because the pound is now piss-weak compared to the Euro.

yeah which makes me doubt that Utd can get Sneijder. Already on more money than Utd's top earner and will probably want Euro's as well.

the continued ushing of the schnoyjider deal is really confusing

how the fuck are utd spending so much btw? like lol add another 100m of debt to the billion

looks like we will buy scott dann, to which i respond... meh. i guess at 24 he can v. much improve but he isn't better than anyone we already have. better 4th choice pick than squiggle. good but not good enough to make a noticable difference. REALLY not the signing we need to be making the week CF+SN leave.

Maybe Wenger's had some kind of ideological Melanie Phillips moment and is going to turn you into Stoke?

Next few signings - Scott Dann, Lee Cattermole, Niall Quinn.

Well Spurs haven't finalised the Palacios/Crouch deal yet. Maybe Wenger decided to act quickly lest they slip out of his clutches?

scott dann isn't as bad as a lot of last season's arsenal cb's, tbh.

There are different types of centre half, y'know. I don't know who you have like him. No doubt i'm about to find out.

Think this could be my favourite Fabregas moment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsQtL-6c00Q

Wenger was pretty succesful in the past with *galumphing English carthorses at centre half, maybe he's just woken up to that fact

(*slightly perjorative)

how the fuck are utd spending so much btw? like lol add another 100m of debt to the billion

Using up the Ronaldo cash that was still sitting in the bank. The real question is how the fuck did the Glazers pay off the PIK debt?

My big bro bought Cesc an orange juice when he first came to England. So he says. Think the story was that Cesc was out in Liverpool with some of his mates, who somehow knew a couple of my bro's Spanish mates. Yes.

According to French publication L’Equipe, representatives of Shakhtar Donetsk playmaker Jadson have travelled to London today to discuss a potential move to Arsenal.

The 27-year-old Brazilian international, who took part in this summer’s Copa America, has spent the last six years plying his trade in the Ukraine having moved to Eastern Europe in 2005 from homeland side Clube Atletico Paranaense.

An experienced operator, who can play either in the centre or on the right side of midfield, Jadson has garnered considerable success in Donetsk winning 5 league titles and helping the Donbass Arena outfit to the 2009 UEFA Cup title.

It is understood that Jadson is under contract until December 2014, but an offer between €8m and €10m could be enough to lure him to pastures new and still afford Arsenal the chance to make further manoeuvres in the transfer market.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpr9uGM7sto

at 00:15 is that portuguese for taxi?

Wenger: "At the moment we have too big a squad. We are not in a position where we are short of players"

we all dream of a team of kieron gibbs

What do you mean? Gibbs has the super quality this side has been lacking.

that's pretty much exactly what i mean, yeah

Wenger is on some self-destructive shit lately

We're going to end up with a situation where squad size rules lead everyone to panic and sell of their actual good players because they can't offload their Bentleys and Velas and whoever.

that's a worry, yeah.

Is this crouch/palacios stoke deal a goer i wonder?

And can we really not get rid of bentley jenas or keane at any price?

Don't understand it frankly. Can see why no one would want Keane or Bentley but players like Jenas can do a job and would improve several sides in the Premiership. Presumably Levy's pricing them out of the market, either that or our famously spartan wage structure isn't as stingy as it's made out to be.

Oh, looks like Jol wants Jenas at Fulham. Maybe he'll sign Reto Ziegler and Razsiak as well.

is palacios really beyond the "good kick up the hole" remedy...seems sad to see a guy who was so great dwindle and end up at stoke. wasn't he being linked to man u halfway through spurs cl-qualifying season?

is palacios really beyond the "good kick up the hole" remedy

I don't think so. It's not like we're overwhelmed with defensive midfield options anyway and I'd like us to hang onto him - he was a first choice midfielder throughout the CL qualifying season. Maybe Redknapp and Levy think we'll actually get decent cash for him but I'm sure he can do better than Stoke. Hell, he'd probably improve Arsenal or Liverpool's squads.

at top level he'd be perfect for arsenal, pool have lots of midfielders but i'd take him for sure, not loads of dmcs.

i dunno. When he got bad he stayed bad and it was really bad

Yeah maybe not first choice at Liverpool but, I dunno, if Lucas gets injured do you have anyone who can protect the back four? Your midfield options seem very attack heavy.

yeah agreed. tho i think a centre back is next priority.

It's a little bit of an effort to think of players who wouldn't improve Arsenal, in a way. I bet that list would look really like Arsene's 'top targets' list though.

Arsene's list is lacking that extra two per cent of sharpness at the moment but it is fully committed and has enough quality to deal with the situation.

If lucas gets injured we've got Christian Poulsen!! No worries.

oh, and if david pleat is to be believed, gerrard is a defensive midfielder.

surprised it's taking liverpool this long to get round to a cb given how they er, swooped for henderson. why risk a bidding war for cahill/dann by waiting til after arsenal greenlight some spending?

p bored of the stoke bashing btw, give me them over wigan any day.

Football fans in preferring well-meaning uselessness to comedy cynicism and thuggery shocker.

I love Stoke, personally. Consistently hilarious.

i dunno. When he got bad he stayed bad and it was really bad

― 10/11 of a dead jesus (darraghmac), Friday, 12 August 2011 11:06 (2 hours ago) Bookmark

normally i'd defend a player from fickle spurs damnation but in this one case the drop in form was bewildering enough to justify. completely appalling whenever i saw him.

xp you know what tho, when i think of thuggery i think of the useless excess of it, your michael browns & ben thatchers. ok the shawcross thing happened that time but otherwise stoke are just direct, effective and competently building every year. have some respect.

(the only black mark against them might be how much its actually costing them to get this far but that seems to be an unknown.)

also, and contrary to some slander i see on here, jon walters is a good player fuiud

I find Stoke almost entirely ignorable tbh. Them bringing the laughs/rage on here is their highest purpose for me.

while they have shawx they will forever be #1 evil

Will always hate Stoke discussion on ILX for when Pennant signed for them and everyone ignored my "Pennant is coming for a bowl of lobby and he loikes it very much, duck" line.

I thought Stoke were building reasonably cheaply and financially sensibly? Although breaking the bank on Palacios and Crouch may change that. Pennant might be on faintly stupid wages as well I suppose.

i know theyre being bankrolled by coates to a large extent even despite the strong support, but outside of transfer fees opinion seems to differ on what kind of wages they're doling out - if dean whitehead is on like 50k a week then it's not so great

does strike me i need to stfu before fate arranges them breaking adel

http://i.imgur.com/fgHi9.png

..says Frank "Frankie 'Fat Frank' Lamps" Lampard.

It's not actually him though is it

Yeah, it appears not. That would have been very sad were it him.

stoke are ok are stokie

Pulis clumsily trying to build a siege mentality around them is prob their most objectionable characteristic. Your boys are big boys tony they can take a little stick

pulis' hat fucking annoys me. looks like he's in the NRA or going fishing constantly.

Steampunk Stoke are great, love em.

Jose Enrique insists his £6million switch from Newcastle to Liverpool is all about glory - not cash.

Weird thing to have to say. Why would anyone in their right mind stay at Newcastle when they could move to Liverpool?

hang on what year is it?

he was in contract negotiations with newcastle so presumably he could be accused of leaving purely cos they didn't offer him enough or whatever.

well, dunno if he actually began negotiations but nufc wanted to.

Just for the record: I have nothing against Stoke, either.

I thought Stoke were a brave side last season

It's useful to have a pool of sides you don't much care about, in the event of close relegation scraps and such, so for that reason I vaguely approve of them.

Bolton's new signing Chris Eagles has questioned the wisdom of going ahead with Saturday's Premier League opener at QPR.

'If you're playing you never know what might happen. They could ransack the pitch.

'You don't know what they're capable of. We want to be safe. If a fire blows up you could get caught in the middle of it.'

That's the Bolton spirit!

Chris Eagles o_O

Didn't know he was EPL worthy (still).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Nhcv6Ho3ic

We're 4-4-2 with Fletcher and Doyle up front. And Maierhofer on the bench! Maybe I'm still pished from last night. Maybe we shd've tried to get a left back during the close.

Looking at the Liverpool and Sunderland teams, this must be a pretty exciting moment to be a fan of either - such different looking lineups to last season. Gonna watch this game I think - intrigued by nu-Liverpool.

YES FOOTBALL IS BACK YAY

That had to be a red card. First reaction was a dive though.

LOLs Suarez

Aw jeez. Going to be a long season.

dive, red card, lol

Keiron Dyer injured? NO WAY

It wasn't a dive btw, he just made it look like one. If that isn't a red though, what is?

ok not a dive.

This craic about 'he was heading away from goal' is fuckin nonsense, that's a red all day

xp

That'll do. They're looking great so far.

suarez top goalscorer

If he can do that in every game then Charlie Adam will be a fucking brilliant signing for you guys.

gerrard who-llier

stream sucks. doyle currently sporting a turban. blackburn making all the running so far. ward still shit.

suarez looks the shit tbh

i've currently only got final score on - ilx wanna pick a game for me to stream?

penalty to wigan.

oh awesome, 4 stooges in defence, Blackburn 1-0

wigan scored, norwich losing.

Anyone know a decent stream for the Liverpool game? My usual avenues aren't cutting it today

fletcher :D f u venkys

im gonna go qpr-bolton

FLETCHER

this stream is stuttery as fuck :(

Blackburn worse than us at the back sans Samba

referee given us fuck all, wd like to see whether Stearman dived for a yellow or whether it was a penalty on a proper picture

why the fuck do we only wake up when we go behind? going forward we've got some real quality now imo

Lee Cattermole is such a disgusting little shit. I just hate the very sight of him. Adam-Suarez-Downing will be such a creative force - you want to hope Carroll is worth the money with that lot behind him.

Villa not terrible, yet

Suarez-Downing just seems like too hilarious a contrast in characters to not automatically work somehow

referee gives us a free kick and the crowd goes wild. otm

That was nearly amazing from Downing.

Aww NV

You really got me rooting for Wolves tbh

playing ok tbh, Doyle is immense, Johnson looks a great signing, Jarvis is waste, Ward not even waste, O'Hara trying much too hard and fucking up a lot, defence still way too raggedy, think De Vries will be getting first team football pretty soon

fucking O'Hara has done nothing but misplace Hollywood passes all half

The Fulham - Villa game is picking up a bit as the first half winds down. Not a bad opener so far from Villa.

Oof, agricultural from Carragher there.

That was appalling actually.

Yeah EZ, looks like the defence is back to the frighteningly last ditch but broadly effective glories of the 09/10 season

Senderos is in frightened caveman mode a bit for Fulham

carragher should have been sent off at least twice for that, what a tool

decent first half, too much reliance on the long ball to Doyle but he's been fantastic, Hunt and Fletcher pretty good but Fletcher disappears for stretches imo. Mick needs to tell O'Hara to chill the fuck out second half, with a two man centre midfield he's got to carry the ball more and get a rhythm going. Christ we need full backs, again, and the fact that we don't have another CB on the bench is scary, even tho Stearman cd come into the middle when McCarthy subs Foley on about 10 minutes into the second half.

Shd look to be beating these tbh, Blackburn look mostly as bad as everybody thinks, at the back at least.

internet dies just as this game finally starts to look interesting? i blame flavio

Bolton goal: That is a jaffer - and from a most unlikely source. It's a touch against the run of play but Bolton care not, Chris Eagles teeing up centre-half Gary Cahill to take a touch and spank home a doozy from 25 yards into the top corner.

when he says "a most unlikely source" he better be referring to the fuckin Chris Eagles assist

lol truth

wtf is a jaffer?

I think in the BBC live text parlance it refers to a goal which particularly embodies the quality of being "off-bang on and the off"

Yeah EZ, looks like the defence is back to the frighteningly last ditch but broadly effective glories of the 09/10 season

Totally. That Warnock block was the kind of effort missing from last season.

But if we're counting on Collins to finish, even when he's entirely unmarked, it'll be another long year.

xp

think it's bbc slang for a cunted strike

shit Jarvis has a won a "penalty"

nah it's legit on the replay

bollocks Robinson makes a good save from Doyle

and the stream dies in protest

yes-no-yes

(in other words, you did score in the end nv)

In topshop w/ the mrs, fml

sweet i wondered, could see somebody running onto it as the picture froze

On-bang off-and the on penalty action from the Wolves there

Bobby Z putting two really good chances straight at Given

haha it was Wardy

the twat

Fulham came out with some fire to start the second. Villa better get it together.

my stream has decided that pool-sndrlnd more interesting to come back to in the second half, wise move imo

Sunderland!

Peach

Fuck off Heskey, I can't believe he and Agbonlahor are a starting pair of forwards in 11-12.

LARSSON: Gareth Bale of the 11/12

We've been offering up too many quarter-chances today, when a good one came up they were ready for it.

Gyan and Sessegnon look pretty dangerous together - could be a terrific partnership.

now i've got a working picture again it looks like i've won my bet with our elliot that Foley wd be our first substitute of the new season. we're playing some nice shit tho, not saying Doyle-Fletcher will set the division on fire but they might cause a few friction burns

Back to good old Dirk

Liverpool '77 slightly delayed?

Roberts is gonna get a double yellow for dissent in a minute

'... and Heskey takes too long to get off a shot."

Sigh.

It's Goodwillie time

Heskey should've retired 3 seasons ago

u mis-typed 10 there

Goodwillie on for Pedersen, kinda glad they've took Pedersen off tbh

Johnson's carrying a knock :(

we need to kill this game. so let's bring Big George on for Jarvis.

I'd forgotten all about Meireles, rocking a Travis Bickle look today.

1627: Not exactly a goal-fest yet today is it? Worry not, though, people - Newcastle v Arsenal is on later. There's no chance of that not throwing up some goals.

one bbc meme i hate is 'goals = good football everything else sucks'

also journalists having their picture/mugshot involved is neveragl

oh, QPR.

Warnock out :(

everyone out, 'cept abel

liverpool's been really entertaining imo, hope they keep up this routine of one half of creative attacking football and a second of just ruining it all for lols the whole season.

Riise (elder) going to be good for Fulham I think.

QPR getting trashed

Barton startin'

Bolton need to get the goal-scoring in early. Upcoming fixture list means there'll be a lot of sitting back/getting thrashed.

i thought barton had left?

No takers yet on a free transfer.

Maierhofer gets 2 minutes :|

Stephen Hunt man of the match imo

That's a pretty weak ending from Liverpool.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4UqMyldS7Q&ob=av3n

Fletcher-Hunt-Doyle pretty magnif, O'Hara settled down 2nd half, need full backs, probly need to give Hennessey some time off to practice dealing with high balls, need Johnson to never get injured.

Song-Rosicky-Ramsey midfield, presume it'll be AA-Gervinho-RVP upfront.

― gay socialists smoking mushrooms with their illegal gardeners (a hoy hoy), Saturday, 13 August 2011 16:53 (0 seconds ago)

I'll take a point on the road to start the season.

NV and Mick.gif have really made me root for Wolves

tbf me and Mick.gif are more attractive than watching us play, mostly

nah stop moaning that was a deserved 3 points

So, the season has only just begun but already the table has a familiar look to it with Bolton at the top and Wolves hot on their heels in second place.

NV, for above your bed:

http://i649.photobucket.com/albums/uu216/le_bateau_ivre/wolves.png

will still be in the CL spots tomorrow morning then.

A point apiece probably the right result at Craven Cottage, with a tiring Villa back line digging in to hold on against a clearly more match fit Fulham. The Cottagers will likely feel they would have come away with the three points if Andrew Johnson had been partnered up front by someone less of a duffer than Bobby Zamora. Villa for their part look to have a solid foundation to build on but their restless fans will doubtless demand more pronounced vigour of attacking intent as they begi

congrats to Mr NV. LFC flatter to deceive as per usual. Suarez is a God. Carragher has no business being in a top 4 defense so just as well he's at Liverpool really.

they're still top 4 dude

anybody who doesn't build that Liverpool side around Suarez is an idiot, fwiw

scores pls. Just finished shopping. Ffs

It was a cracking first half but ran into the sand somewhat.

Bburn 1 Wolves 2
QPR 0 Bolton 4
LFC 1 S'Land 1
Fulham 0 Villa 0
Wigan 1 Norwich 1

1702: Bolton and Wolves fans - may I suggest you print off the Premier League table this very minute for a cut-out-and-keep moment to show the grandkids in years to come?

i hate this demeaning bullshit

1702: Bolton and Wolves fans - may I suggest you print off the Premier League table this very minute for a cut-out-and-keep moment to show the grandkids in years to come? At this rate, both teams will finish the season on 114 points each with the title decided on goal difference. Actually, they have to play each other don't they? So that can't happen. Oh dear... brain... melting...

I like to track the point where if this was in a pub Lyon would be glassed by the people he was speaking to

haha, xpost.

Darragh, it was Spurs P Everton P (as a result of you 'shoppers')

gosh as a fan of lowly Wolverhampton Wanderers it is indeed a treat to see the side in a position they've never attained before

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GdiNk3-IPE

Just think Noodle you've got trips to places like that Old Trafford and Anfield to come. Coo. What a day out those will be. Could you ever have dreamed?

Lyon is now quoting the MOTD editor tweet which appears immediately to the right of the text in the Twitter feed

^^ yeah just noticed that too ;_;

Nice to see them calling the Arse by their name, at least

Song following Meireles in going for a bit of a Bickle. Arsenal look like Arsenal, but Gervinho looks like he could be pretty direct.

yup. ramsey been a bit too gareth barry for my liking, not enough cesc.

OMFG AAAAAAARGH

i cant remember the last time i saw a team spend so much time in the oppositions box without having any sign of a chance let alone scoring

do all teams look like arsenal does today at the beginning of the season? or is this a special type of awful?

Arsenal are sort of unique in the Premier League in tending to cut through the opposition midfield like a hot knife through butter then reaching the penalty area and skilfully passing the ball with great accuracy to a defender

first game of the season is traditionally cagey and sucks balls. we aren't awful*, just frustrating.

*in control defensively and in possession, regularly getting in the box, just fucking up time and again with the last ball.

Like Barcelona's sometimes frustrating refusal to shoot is usually in service of the creepily clockwork-like greater plan, but Arse's penalty area spazz-outs are maddening and inexplicable

It's tantric football guys

I wouldn't be surprised to see Arshavin pulled off (lol) for Theo or Chamakh 10 minutes into the second half.

Calling either of these sides' first 45 awful is way over the top.

More importantly, who made the decision that the first team should play in knock-off strips?

And yes, Arshavin has clearly decided that he's not arsed to run at a defence that's clearly gagging for it, so bring on the Walcott.

God that was poor. Carroll, I just, eurgh.

'11/'12 season notable so far only for the discovery that Veetle works on my phone.

gervinho's a diving cunt. ryan taylor never touched him...

nah he didn't dive... his forehead just got too heavy...

This may be stating the completely blindingly obvious but no one who's played today is getting anywhere near the title.

bitter Spurs fan ruling us out already

only got one song (unless he gets sent off)

dunno why Theo wasn't on from the beginning, no surprises seeing Arshavin so lazily impotent.

I like Song a bit more after that Barton stamp.

How about the new boy?

wtf?

That's some bullshit.

OH FUCK OFF

gervinho gets started on: gets a red.

OH FUCK YOU ONLY A FUCKING YELLOW WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU

can't wait for Barton to sign for Arsenal in a couple of days now.

Much more simulation from Barton than Gervinho there.

oh shit joey barton gets touched, goes down like he's shot

The ref's been reading his Twitter. He likes the Field Mice, there's no way he could be involved in any trouble.

No one's signing Barton now, he's waiting out his contract at Newcastle.

Those decisions were all correct, although Barton is a terrible person

two games at st james park - two unjust sending offs for joey being a dick.

how does barton not get a red for that?

he's just picked a man up and shouted at him cos he done a dive ain't he

he manhandled him and pushed him about - i've seen reds for a lot less

With Mp4xA, gervinho raises his hands therefore needs to go, Barton probably guilty of Ungentlemanly Conduct in pulling him up so yellow?

he pulled him up pretty violently and was getting well into it, isn't there a rule for provocation?

what arsenal have lacked in continuity inside the box, they have up for it with interesting hairstyles

two games at st james park - two unjust sending offs for joey being a dick

Oh come on, you'll be telling us that's why it ended 4-4 next.

Yanked him by the collar too violently to be just 'ungentlemanly conduct' for me.

Yeah, going on a (possibly imagined) distinction between grabbing a guy above or below the neck - without anyone going nucular and touching the face there that gets dismissed as "handbags" and the ref gets praised for having common sense and not being tempted to send anyone off. Barton aggravating it and being an obvious dick complicates it and makes it seem unfair, but enh

Happy to be blown away by Caek Referee Veracity when the time comes though

The greatest trick Joey Barton ever pulled was distracting everyone from the fact he's been awful as an actual player today.

Barton will definitely give a perplexed, faux-angelic post match interview, if Newcastle let him

Barton's scowling Bickle face on the MOTD big screen as Shearer disapprovingly says "Jooey's a very lookee boy thur"

I dunno, none of it would have happened if he didn't PICK THE GUY UP TO FUCK WITH HIM. That isn't just handbags imo.

Our backline, keeper, Song, Rosicky and Gervinho been v good today, the rest have been gash and unfortunately the rest is where games are won. Wilshere and Theo for Ramsey and Arshavin and we will look a hell of a lot better. Gibbs's crossing in this one game >>> Clichy's Arsenal crossing career.

just discovered that theo walcott has the same number of club goals as his predecessor franny jeffers (36, fwiw)

imo should have been three red cards: Song, then Barton and Gervinho

Seriously, Barton's picking up of Gervinho was a much more aggressive move than the pathetic tap he received in return. The ostentatious shaking of everyone's hand at the end was sickening too

joey barton 'is' 'a legend'

Apparently nowhere in FIFA's Laws of the Game does it say that raised hands = automatic red card.

Much like "last defender, he's got to go"

Or "he got the ball first"

"lost control of the ball"

Just checked the laws and indeed no mention of raised hands = automatic red. Where the fuck did that come from?

Anything about raised eyebrows?

Nothing I'm afraid.

The laws of the game are pretty vague and there are a lot of generally agreed customs on how they should be interpreted

some of them seem to be pretty enshrined, eg the "raising the hands to the face = red, below the neck = yellow" thing seems to be a fairly accurate model for how refs react to those kind of things; some of them are just imaginary shit, like how a defender "getting the ball" leads to pundits wrongly claiming a bad tackle was fair 10 times a match

arbitrary rules are awes fuiud

yeah i think the hand raised to the face is almost always interpreted as "violent conduct". the "last man back" is usually shorthand for saying "denied a clear goal-scoring opportunity" and in 95 percent of situations where a foul stops a player being one on one with the keeper that seems fair enough.

can be trumped by "heading away from goal" though, like Richardson on Suarez today

If only that were true of penalty decisions in the box as well Eboue wouldn't have conceded one against Lucas in the 1-1 late last season.

a foul is a foul is a foul, that's different to whether or not a particular challenge merits a red or a yellow

Flanno's been impressive but I don't know why Kelly didn't start.

Aquilani is surely off. In a way I'll be glad cos I'm bored of this now.

Why did we look so unfit in the 2nd half? Ok match sharpness mightn't have been totally there but there's no excuse for not actually being able to move around the pitch.

Dirk's an absolute legend.

Downing looked good.

Enrique looked like he'd been playing for us for years, really excited about him.

Might've been harsh on Carroll earlier.

So Carragher remains a 1st choice CB this season by the look of it - bye bye playing a high defensive line, hello massive gap between the back 4 and launching long balls to Carroll.

said before i'd be worried by playing to Carroll's strengths. Carra as 1st choice is a bit of a joke tbh (but fuck we started Berra today). Downing will prove to be the best signing you've made this close season.

downing is a good player but customatily overpriced

enrique is also a good player but at a good price

-arily

what formation were liverpool playing today, was adam played on the wing

carragher should have walked.

ref right about barton/gervinho imo. Would have preferred two yellows for gervinho for dive, but slap to face always accepted as a red. Talk about barton red for 'violently' picking him up is, frankly, embarrassing.

Hope song gets banned.

Walcott was shit when he came on, dunno what match i was watching tbh????.

ya walcott looked pretty much like walcott so

4-4-1-1 I'd say - Lucas and Adam in the middle, Henderson on the right, Downing on the left. Carroll seemed to drop deep a lot and linked up quite well in the 1st half, think Lucas and Adam supported the attacks well - was willing that shot from Lucas to go in. Henderson was quiet from what I can remember. Easy in hindsight but surprised that Kuyt didn't start. Love Dirk.

Waddle's still saying peLanty isn't he.

I liked a lot about Liverpool today, the fluidity has been carried over from last season which is nice especially as so much of the team is new. But within that Carragher really sticks out for immobility. It knocks on to Agger too, who looks about to be caught in possession at times because Carragher standing still takes an option away from him. Flanagan got caught out a few times but will get better. Suarez' obvious vast superiority to everyone, bar conceivably Downing, worries me a bit, because a title-pushing side needs five players of that quality and noone's close.

Carroll just troubles me, I can't see where he fits here.

title pushing

carroll doesn't need to fit in but as an end point, imo. Crouch could be useful if redknapp/himself cultivated that view. Same with d bent. Everyone do their job, he'll do his.

Yeah, you know what I mean - how many years is it going to take to get to that place?

henderson, kuyt, neither rly gonna be rw but i suppose if they can work an overlap w/johnson then it'll look better in time

The utter shite 2nd half has somehow erased the 1st half from my memory; will have to watch it again.

Henderson ever play RW for Sunderland? Not that he can't learn the position or adapt, just wondering. Don't remember much about him from last season tbh.

Also, people who flick through their programme at the footy during the match are truly awful and shouldn't be anywhere near a football ground.

Barton startin'

― MPx4A, Saturday, August 13, 2011 4:44 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

Another prophetic post by me there, by the way

dmac yeah theo was shit today.

jonawils Jonathan Wilson
@cognoscentinovo Barton shd have gone for violent conduct: grabbing somebody by the shirt and hauling them to their feet is violent.
44 minutes ago

@cognoscentinovo
@jonawils so hauling somebody off the ground is an offence under the laws of the game?
41 minutes ago

jonawils Jonathan Wilson
@cognoscentinovo Violent conduct is; and that was, to me, violent. Thank you for actually saying what you disagree with.
39 minutes ago

jwilson full off shit

It's such a bullshit distinction though. Like, the tiny little tap that Barton got is somehow worse than him manhandling Gervinho which was what started the whole thing anyway?

cmon this is not something that jumped up on ppl today at 7pm

You could argue Song's unnoticed stamp started the whole thing, in that you can't expect someone as full of himself as Barton to, excuse the catchphrase, 'get on with the game' after that foul. But a more professional player could have.

someone calling themselves 'cognoscentinovo' rmde

He was just the interlocutor, not endorsing the preciousness of his handle or anything.

I enjoyed Obertan's couple of little moments in the sun today. Cult hero in the making i reckon.

Yeah he was good I thought, would play him and Ben Arfa/Marveaux as R/L wings ahead of Barton + Jonas.

Good day for the Utd castoffs actually, what with Wes Brown picking up a man of the match

that one obertan flick to cabaye was sweet

I didn't even know we'd sold Obertan until I sat down to watch the second half of that match.

Thought this was funny - maybe you're watching the wrong sport?

cognoscentinovo
Cognoscentinovo
In 7 years of martial arts training (black belt 1st dan) "picking somebody up" has never been, so far, a useful violent technique.
17 minutes ago

Hope you're sitting down NBS, we sold John O'Shea as well

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Please tell me we still have Bebe?

There's good news and bad news...

lol

Having not seen it earlier, that was a horrible dive by Suarez for the penalty

It was a penalty though. Maybe the theatrics influenced the ref to only give a yellow, in which case fair enough (even if hisnext touch would have been to pass the ball in).

Absolute letter of the law it's a penalty, but Richardson basically just just lays his hands on Suarez and he clips his legs together and swan dives. We all know he's a seasoned diver though so it's not a surprise.

Looking for a penalty + red card shouldn't be a more attractive option than just scoring, really.

thought richardson catches his back leg?

Not to my eyes and i just watched it multiple times on MOTD

hmm

Joey7Barton Joseph Barton
Bad shirt, shoes and views from shearer again. Sort it out slaphead......

Oh I love it

lol

He's also admitted he dived to get Gervinho sent off.

piersmorgan Piers Morgan

@Joey7Barton if it was all about being macho, I'd be in Arsenal's starting line-up tomorrow....

oh god i shouldn't be quoting from twitter but joey barton is just the best irl troll

@RealArshavin: It is good to know @Joey7Barton goes down as easy as my first girlfriend.. #limplikealadyboy

that's never him

http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/incoming/article744197.ece/ALTERNATES/gallery-large/sagna.jpg

Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp is plotting a sensational swoop for Arsenal full-back Bacary Sagna.

And it is believed Sagna would be prepared to make the move to the Gunners’ bitter north London rivals.

That Sagna story is obvious bullshit.

Dunno about Carroll, by all accounts he should be great and he'll get a shedload of service but I dunno, could be a Spurs 2011 situation.

Carroll's too expensive not to play, which is a problem in itself

not sure the story itself was what was being pointed out there with sagna

didnt see any of the liverpool game but 4-4-1-1 doesnt strike me as the best use of talents available tbh

The Sagna story is almost as false as the photo they used.

http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/725/campbellpresentation.png

Joel Campbell gets to work recycling Coke bottles to make his own 'official' shirt.

1st half of Stoke-Chelsea was great wasn't it.

Torres, you horrible little fucker

It appears the red-nosed old foul-mouthed drunk is playing his second string side against West Brom, hope the Baggies kick them off the park.

creatively bankrupt oldish Chelsea post-AvGrant midfielders whose reputations are just '00s detrita

Oh wait, Benayoun is coming on for two minutes.

I think you'll find that's the new look Utd team. Nothing second string about it my friend

assuming i'm mid road trip without radio, what's the happy haps

Stoke 0-0 Chelsea FT

what'd torres

'lively', 'sharp'

ta

smalling is a right back?

can be, was good there last week iirc?

torres shd have had a penalty in that game. Stoke are wretched to watch. Loathsome.

torres did look good imo. was he being booed at the start? do people just hate him now cos he's such a cranky child?

why would torres be unpopular?

cranky child

Torres also executed one of the most spectacularly lame dives i've ever seen. Hopefully there'll be a gif of it at some point

he just can't do anything right atm

Rafael dislocated his shoulder in training, is the reason Smalling's playing at right back. He was good there in the Charity Shield, as Darragh said

Good goal by United's new young striker with a full head of hair

To Graeme Souness's assertion that Roman Abramovich had indulged in "an enormous gamble" in triggering his £13.2 million (Dh78.3m) buyout there, he cheerily compares results.

"Souness made comments about it being easy to win at Porto," says Villas-Boas. "It was easy to win at Liverpool in the '90s and the '80s, wasn't it? But he was five years there and didn't win anything."

BOOM! Souness pwned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFDxP2gDCxA

not to defend souness but get yer facts right andre

The former Liverpool and Sampdoria enforcer will be having none of it. 'I'd like to see him say that on the pitch. Except he never actually played football did he?' Souness will have said to himself.

The BBC's 'I went down easy, admits Barton' is a bit of a forehead slapper, particularly given their craven refusal to discuss the bombs Barton dropped on Shearer's Island shortly after

Shearer's Island: The erudite and charming ex-England man holds a football camp for soldiers who have recently returned from Afghanistan on a small Pacific Island. Each week one of "our boys" is voted off by the public as Alan puts them through their paces with a series of football related tasks. The group will also spend time with locals and learn about the island's unique indigenous culture. Coming soon to Channel 5.

Dodgy keeper

Baggies keeping our 2nd place hopes alive

Gotta say offloading Gomes on United was a stroke of genius from Harry.

http://img.uefa.com/imgml/TP/players/9/2010/324x324/1901746.jpg

Might have to rethink having Rooney in my fantasy team. Feels too wrong to be happy when he scores. Leaves me feeling dirty tbh
Well done Ireland's Shane Long.

Great half.

Thought United looked very good (apart from Taibi)

There's no point condemning De Gea at this stage, but it's certainly gonna make things interesting this season.

it's not condemning him to say he's been pure shit so far, tbf. It's just accurate feedback

For us it is, but if one of his teammates starts tweeting the same accurate feedback or w/e, that would probably not be helpful for the development of a 20-year-old keeper.

Wilshere took indirect shots at Arshavin & Gervinho yesterday over said medium, it was dispiriting. Misspelled the latter's name twice as well.

Seems reasonable for people who don't like Man Utd to want to contribute to a pressure cooker atmosphere around their goalkeeper which may result in him going mental and throwing a load of goals in over the course of the season

only reasonable if necessary

Anderson was great for 20 minutes, then went on a 40-yard-sprint past three or four players around 21' (leading I think to Nani shooting over), and I don't think he's caught his breath yet.

Vidic and Ferdinand both crocked already

Ferdinand injured? You surprise me.

Hurrah!

United's Mr Reliable strikes again.

I thought luck was a lady

og in a return to form!

If he can recapture his 09-10 form Utd will walk this.

Maddening refusal by De Gea to take advantage of Foster being out of his net. Could have totally redeemed himself

"Sort it out slaphead" - please sign Joey Barton Harry!

http://www.drudgesiren.com/siren.gif ARSENAL PLACE BID FOR BARCELONA'S FABREGAS, STRIKER VAN INJURY CLAIMS CESC SHOULD SIGN 'DUE TO HIS SUPER QUALITY AND ISLINGTON DNA' http://www.drudgesiren.com/siren.gif

r keane gone to galaxy!

r keane gone to galaxy!

http://4gifs.com/gallery/d/180509-1/Cheerleaders_freakout.gif

Did we get any money for him?

Hollywood DNA?

For balance and to ensure it's not overlooked, Fat Frank is a diving shit btw

Lampard was a bit more subtle than Torres but yeah, agreed.

WOODGATE???

maybe it's because I can't remember his playing style and am judging only on continental hairstyle, but Woodgate seems a bit classy for Stoke's provincial pub brawler shtick.

that or there aren't enough azn ppl in stoke for him to attack

woodgate's the archetype classy centre half, yeah

Did he really have to move from boro because CONTROVERSIAL MODERATOR EDIT

woah woah, wait a second. seriously, what was the deal with that sagnarooney hybrid pic cos it's freaking me out??

cudiccini to celtic rumour on the go. seems improbable imo.

cudicini even

Is that what they did to Sagna's face? I knew it looked wrong but I couldn't imagine how or why it would have been doctored.

exactly, why? it's nightmarish.

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/54598000/jpg/_54598424_54598422.jpg

Express and Star keep bumping this "Arsenal Swoop for Jarv" rumour oh god please please please

He looks too much like Senderos, never happening.

Stoke City star Jermaine Pennant has left the mother of his child for a North Staffordshire glamour model.

The winger has dumped 27-year-old fiancee Lara Murphy for Hartshill's Alice Goodwin.

*gets*

I'm pretty sure Woodgate played virtually every game for Boro, god knows how he managed that.

AVB is already moaning about Stoke's style of play WELCOME BACK TO ENGLAND, ANDRE.

lesson for Barton here - proper hard man Alan Shearer barely blinks but the slapper is still sent off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10WpPVyoAZ0

iirc Keane said in his book his only regret about this incident is that he didn't throw a punch instead. I'm sure Gervinho feels the same way.

well yeah, as well be dismissed for a sheep as for a lamb

More LOLz from Kenny

Five ex-Celtic players managing in the Premiership!

Yet only one in the SPL, managing Celtic. I wonder why Scottish chairman are so much less likely to employ former Celtic players as managers...

Five and a half, if Owen Coyle turning out for Celtic Legends counts

I think the phrase commonly used round these parts for Coyle is "Celtic minded".

Not 'alf!

Dalglish, Lambert, McCarthy, Kean - who's number five?

oh yeah, Moyes. NVRMND

Kean's a bit of a stretch tbh - he never made a first team appearance.

Oh shit John Obi Mikel's dad kidnapped in Nigeria...

aw fuck

aw fuck

song charged

fucking PRS at it again