"Foods" that need to be retired

1. Applesauce

2. Apple Juice

3. Orange Drink

4. Cheez Whiz

4. Marshmallow Fluff

1. Applesauce

2. Apple Juice

fuck you

so many delicious things you can make with applesauce - pancakes, muffins, bread

well that's not so bad. i thought you were implying that you dug into a pile of applesauce everyday, and washed it down with the juice from apples

The Hydrox imitation Oreo

What do you have against applesauce, heathen?

but really foods that go unloved kinda retire by themselves

applesweat is vomitous. end of discussion

The Hydrox imitation Oreo

― frogbs, Tuesday, August 9, 2011 12:10 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hydrox was first, orea is the imitation fwiw

1. Applesauce

2. Apple Juice

fuck you

― Richard Nixon's Field of Warmth (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 9 August 2011 18:07 (6 minutes ago)

apple urea

for people with the palates of two-year olds, y'all are some militant mf'ers

my daughter's 3 1/2 and eats a ton of applesauce, you don't wanna see the kind of fit she would throw without it

4. Cheez Whiz

4. Marshmallow Fluff

Luckily, Marshmallow Fluff is immediately disqualified because there already is a #4.

you can make cookies and cake with applesauce too

my daughter's 3 1/2 and eats a ton of applesauce, you don't wanna see the kind of fit she would throw without it

well, you tell her that some awful man from the internet named "dell" thinks she has the palate of a two-year old!

Notkin secures Joelle's veil for her during removal of the beaded coat and poncho, then lifts the veil slightly in a practiced two-finger gesture to deliver a double-cheek kiss that is sour with cigarettes and wine — Joelle never smokes when veiled — asking how Joelle got here and then without waiting for an answer offering her that odd kind of British-Columbian apple juice they'd found they both liked so, and that Joelle at home's abandoned and gone back to the Big Red Soda Water of childhood, which Notkin doesn't know, and still cluelessly considers extra-sweet Canadian juice to be pretty much both her and Joelle's biggest vices. Molly Notkin's the kind of soul you want desperately to be polite to but have to hide it with because she'd be mortified if she suspected you were ever just being polite to her about anything.
Joelle makes a get-out~of-here gesture. 'The really really good kind?’
'The kind that looks muddy it's so fresh.’
'Where'd you get it this late this far east?’
'The kind you just about have to strain it's so fresh.'

Luckily, Marshmallow Fluff is immediately disqualified because there already is a #4.

well, u try counting accurately during an apoplectic fit

As a lactose intolerant child I was made to switch from milk to applesauce in my cereal and now loathe the stuff but baked or sauteed apples can be excellent.

Man, telling a 3.5 yr old she has the palate of a 2 yr old is just cold, dell.

Dell really got started off on the wrong foot here.

Man, telling a 3.5 yr old she has the palate of a 2 yr old is just cold, dell.

i know, but i'm sure she can ... <deal with it sunglasses dog gif>!!

Dell's a little spazzy today cause she had one too many fluffernutters.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2275/3530252342_4095ba5437.jpg

ya'll wanna feel sick? they make strawberry fluff these days!! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark

oh, that does look gross. like pepto.

so many delicious things you can make with applesauce - pancakes, muffins, bread

― Richard Nixon's Field of Warmth (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, August 9, 2011 1:08 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark

It goes great with latkes.

WORRRRDDDD, fuck I want some latkes now. sad that my jewish neighbors moved away, they always used to invite us over to eat around the holidays

Enough thread hijacking, though.

5. meat. : )

xpost although I guess if I really wanted to, I could probably learn to grate & fry a couple potatoes, without making such a big production of it

6. american cheese (why would I ever eat this?)

http://www.mcarthurdairy.com/products/gallery/gallon/large/orange_drink_gal.jpg

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ1tL31vRrpA-LDvfkvpIZ6xuqOtfzg_0C_X-BqBbXbSB00O_ATXg

American cheese is just sad, really

xpost wut is that

Orange drink from a dairy?!

oh nvm the first image loaded for me—at first I was just seeing "FIG. 1"

xpost

bernard, i think you can also buy some boxed product to facilitate making latkes/potato pancakes?

you can buy them frozen

or

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT62nJ1sl6q8AlOhO6iIyUGLiERMvCmZ2rG5HLIMzWJ9mi6Ci6X0Q

some ppl with otherwise righteous tastebuds swear by american cheese for grilled cheese sandwiches

those ppl are not me

fluff is great, thread is SHIT

whiney...

are you even cognizant of when you enter a thread to shit on it or does it sort of happen in a blackout?

ayo, no one disses fluff on my watch

they have fluffernutters at Subway now?

the jerk store called and they're running out of YOU

you are kinda the "T-Bone" of ilx

or the fluffernutter-eating KoKo

peanut butter is a little played out IMO

tbf this thread is shit

that said, bernard snowy otm

Fuck a fro-yo, imo

RAISIN BREAD

FRENCH TOAST AND OTHER DESSERT FOODS THAT PPL TRY TO PASS OFF AS "BREAKFAST"

del stfu and eat your farm-grown, co-op purchased carrots and let real men and women enjoy their french toast

lol

dell do you hate pancakes/waffles too

also breakfast breads are awesome I had some farm-grown, co-op purchased, baked-by-my-wife zuchinni-lemon bread this morning

i don't ~hate~ them, but i have no interest in eating them . prefer my sweets in small doses, for dessert, and not as the centerpiece of a meal

^^^ Moi aussi

like buckwheat pancakes w/molasses, tho

7. patato chip

8. Coca-Cola

9. Napa cabbage

10. Store-bought salsa

hoo boy...

11 Maple Syrup

12 Oranges

13. Oatmeal - who eats this shit?

I love coca-cola oranges and oatmeal. but maple syrup does suck it's true

you people are all insane

where does one buy salsa if not from a store

badmouthing this stuff is fightin words in my 'hood

Salsa is v easy to make iirc

that said, I never make it

I love coca-cola oranges and oatmeal. but maple syrup does suck it's true

then you've never had real midwestern maple syrup

I know how to make salsa FYI

but Casa Sanchez's salsa is BETTER

8. Coca-Cola

Once you go Pepsi Max, you never go back.

Tinned potatoes.

Or canned potatoes or whatever. Potatoes in a can.

Terrible tasting allergy substitution products. I've had brands of soy milk in the past that are pretty close to what I imagine paint thinner to taste like.

I hate all soft drinks except for grapefruit soda and peach soda. Vanish from existence, plz, Coke and Pepsi.

I love oatmeal and all other hot grain cereals -- grits, cream of wheat, rice pudding, etc

http://www.italianprog.com/pictures/semiramis1.jpg

green giant

serious answer: marshmallow salad

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_LKEqhgiPZeM/SwwMkpqv25I/AAAAAAAAJuA/S1KFZbvnOBU/s1600/Cranberry-GrapeSalad-main_Full.jpg

my mother-in-law inexplicably makes this shit every time we visit

hate cookies that are too sweet ie oreos and healthy lifestyle grown-up corn flakes that taste like wood.

That looks like the Kool Aid man threw up on a dinner plate!

Napa cabbage

Wha?!

yeah I rmde at that one too

sunflower seeds. they make a mess and should be banned.

Salsa is v easy to make iirc

― Trip Maker, Tuesday, August 9, 2011 2:48 PM (57 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the call of the sarahel

sunflower seeds RUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Metallica+Rules_a84206_37550.jpg

14. Pork rinds

15. Bacon bits

16. Miracle Whip

Not sure i've had cheese whiz. Last week I picked up a container of that "port wine" handi snax style cheese spread and this lady looked at me like I had a swastika on my forehead.

Those are all essentially fake foods, PP.

Bacon bits are great on baked potatos

I mean, bits of real bacon

They are fake "foods".

I distinctly felt a hint of betrayal when my 11-year-old mind figured out that Miracle Whip wasn't even mayonnaise.

I say delete fruit chews that are flavoured like fruit but made of cow and pig hides - why not just make em "Cow hide" flavour?

I also wish for Swedish FIsh to be re-named "red herrings"

I had a SDA friend as a kid whose parents, in a 'the body is a temple' moment wed to anti-meat hippyish pressure of the 70's gave up meat. Unfortunately, they gave up meat for fake meat and his mother once made some kind of soup out of baco'bits or something that still makes me retch to think of.

cow and pig hides

Gelatin? Responsible use of resources imso.

I'm tired of food that tastes like what it isn't.

pretty much all food is great ime

I hate food.

We get to play this game whenever we visit my diabetic father. We eat a cookie after dinner while he watches closely, finally asking as we're finishing, "So, anything seem different about that cookie?"

And by now, we know to say "Lemme guess, it's sugar free?"

The kids go over there and have a good time, and we suspect that they're getting their fair share of sugar-free snacks. Except that whatever it is in those snacks making them sweet still probably isn't good for them and with the actual sugar taken away, we suspect that the grandparents are loading them up a bit more than usual. "Well, they shouldn't be wound-up tonight because everything we gave them was sugar-free."

The long-term effects on the kids are minimal and as parents, we kind of have to either choose between the grandparents spoiling the kids a bit or us never ever getting any free time to ourselves ever again. But still. Let's not get too smug about aspartame, shall we?

so, would you have been able to tell that there was no sugar in the cookies?

"So, anything seem different about that cookie?"

"animal semen?"

All I knew was that cookie was sweet. I don't know if I can taste sugar specifically when I eat something.

Corn-syrup Coke and sugar Coke taste the same to me though I can tell a difference in its bubbliness.

"Threads" that need to be retired

"ILXors" that need to be retired.

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/T-Ball_06_039_website.jpg

I hate threads.

xpost

"posters who are on my nuts so much" that they must be tired

So true. I spent five too many minutes back there trying to come up with a "Kool-aid man throwing up" zinger and then realized, Why do I do this.

lol

Speaking of Zingers...

haha, yeh those are blaargh

I never trusted Snoopy again.

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5ucv621AI1huQgcmw0TRGKN0Dfil03ru1w8t0XlXFHvxGOoOF

would you buy life insurance or crappy dessert snacks from this beagle??

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQeWuwnAZQvVYA_qLvMdQcK8FEk262Lsw2Q-a4ywoMJuJZwz7eY

You're gonna need the former if you choose the latter.

was gonna dump some aspartame on those zingers, but then i found out snoopy already dumped something on there

last thing i need is some tommy cruise-looking beagle pushing snack cakes on me tbh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5u7moppmAs

i remember these being equally disappointing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyOiD5zXrCU

I kinda don't hate raspberry Zingers. It's been 10 years since I had one though.

snoopy brusha-bruaha toothbrush.

I am seriously wanting a sno cone now!

That marshmallow salad looks fucking vile. Dear lord.

Celery can go away quickly please. I'm pretty cool with everything else staying. It's not like I have to eat any of it.

1. Applesauce

2. Apple Juice

not a good start to the list

fried oreos

Celery?! What is with you savages?

i love celery w/ peanut butter

CELERY IS DISGUSTING AWFUL STUFF

Celery w/ peanut butter and/or cream cheese - obv have never touched it but it sounds like vom city to me.

I can sometimes now tolerate it if some evil people decide to sneak it into soups or salads. Sometimes. This is progress for me.

it doesnt taste like anything.

except maybe "water."

No celery salt without celery. Imo.

x-post - See people who don't mind celery say this or say it's just crunch but those of use who don't like it know what I mean. It has a very distinct taste and however "mild" that may be if it's not your thing, it's really fucking gross. Trust me on this one.

Celery is probably the least offensive vegetable there is. Also I'm not sure how you "retire" a vegetable

xp - Otm. I hate watercress way worse than celery and it is virtually tasteless.

Have I entered bizarro world? Celery is great and crunchy and slightly aromatic, esp if you keep the leaves and cress has a very decided taste and a little bite to it even.

Fwiw, I tend to love every green veg that you bring...

Oh I'm totally fine with watercress but I respect wanko's right to find a seemingly band veg horrible. It happens.

Never really eat watercress though. It's not something I come across often.

http://chosis.coldfusionvideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/pulp-fiction_1.jpg
"he just wants me to take care of the celery."
"like...'take care' of it?"

I made cress sandwiches not long ago. I prefer mint as a general rule.

I am pretty much done with red velvet cake, I think.

i believe you want the first world problems thread, dan.

maybe certain people itt don't realize that bbq sushi impresario guy fieri would have no show without the arresting image of people who run diners, drive-ins, and/or dives dumping a bigass pile of celery-based mirepoix into a bigass pot as the first step in the process of making an often legitimately tasty looking hearty hot dish for plain folks

I'm with Dan on that but then I never cared for it much.

oh do not talk to me about first world problems, Jess

red velvet cake doesn't even scratch the surface of my first world problems

Red velvet cake is delicious!!!

It is sort of everywhere right now in the way that mac and cheese and truffled things are too.

(btw the Ben and Jerry's R V Cake ice cream is UH MAZING - just saying)

pizza pockets should go. initially introduced as a healthier alternative to pizza pops, which seems pointless in retrospect.

Yeah, celery, if no thing else ENBB, along with bouquet garni, carrots and onions (that all get dumped later) is the basis for a lot of stocks.

Truffled things! I think truffles are entirely overused in two senses of that word; too often and too much

i still find spare change in my pizza pockets

Red velvet cake IS delicious, but as you say it is everywhere and it's kind of like "... people it may be delicious but it's just cake, chill"

granted I am spoiled because I married someone who was making it at least 10 years ago for me, if not 15, so I'm basically just being a cake hipster

BRAGGIN

ps dude - jealous!

ENBB otm re celery. I'll eat one stick and think "this isn't bad after all" then any more is disgusting. OK in stews or soups I think. It kind of tastes like floor. Or something. And I there's hardly any food I don't like!

Btw I don't get Red Velvet cake, what's in it that makes it different from nomal cake, other than food dye?

I had a RED VELVET MINI CUPCAKE a while back which was pretty much a CREAM CHEESE FROSTING SHOT atop a sliver of cake baked in an itty bitty floral-print mini-muffin tin liner = Edible Late Capitalism, but it was p good

LOL FLOOR - I can't even eat one stick tho so you're better than I am.

High quality crushed velvet, naturally

xpost

RED VELVET MINI CUPCAKE

the only way you could make this more annoying to me would be to pour truffle oil on it

It might be the cream cheese frosting that makes red velvet cake for me because I also love carrot cake and the two often share that feature. Hmmmmm.

lol ABC did you buy it on Etsy?

confession time - I totally bought myself a red velvet mini cupcake last week. You know what? It was fucking delicious so nurr.

OTM again, much as I love cake it becomes relegated to a cream cheese frosting delivery system with these :)

I mean yes, if presented with a red velvet mini cupcake I am going to eat it, I am not a fool, but I will be rolling my eyes and thinking "played *chomp chomp*" on the inside

I bet you can buy red velvet cupcake-themed his-n-hers underwear on Etsy. Little-girl ruffles on hers, glow-in-the-dark frosting on his

never heard of this red velvet cake, can i change my vote on the 'which country is worse to live in' poll?

carrot cake is and always will be the bomb btw

I bet you can buy red velvet cupcake-themed his-n-hers underwear on Etsy. Little-girl ruffles on hers, glow-in-the-dark frosting on his

― A B C, Tuesday, August 9, 2011

http://friendsoftheprogram.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/dawson-crying.jpg

This thread is kicking ass.

What you do with a celery stick is not only slather peanut butter across it, filling its valley, but then you line up raisins as "little ants" to complete the journey into your mouth.

what, no

you just eat the damn celery

tell yr tastebuds that they are not 3, celery is delicious

ANTS ON A LOG

p.s. fu djp. my tastebuds are at least five.

I AM AN ADULT AND I DON'T HAVE TO EAT CELERY IF I DON'T WANT TO, DAN!

that's cool, more celery for me

it's the blue cheese wars all over again

a celery is perfectly acceptable in (a) chicken soup (b) a scorcher of a Bloody Mary

(c) by itself

srsly, as a kid celery and carrots were staple snacks for me, I specifically requested them

even today I will fuck up a crudite platter

can we talk about cake again?

There's a "Cosby Show" episode in which Cliff goes on a diet and Clair reminds him that he can only eat celery when it's "smothered in cream cheese and wrapped in bologna."

oh btw

a couple months ago I had this crazy dessert which was carrot cake bread pudding with a caramel sauce and fucking CREAM CHEESE FROSTING ICE CREAM. The rest was OK but I could have demolished a big-ass bowl of that ice cream.

that... sounds like heaven

Sadly it wasn't in Boston or otherwise I'd obviously be telling you where to get some. It was so damn good.

You guys, I make this a couple of times a year -- as often as my arteries allow.

Tropical Carrot Cake with Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting

It doesn't know whether it's a carrot cake or a coconut cake, but it knows how to treat a man.

I would rather eat boiled celery than anything with coconut.

tsk

y'all are way too picky. sound like some babies with colic.

mad at this thread for making me covetous and hungry

damn WMC

will make

y'all are way too picky. sound like some babies with colic.

save it for the Odd Future thread, speedo

It is the best cake ever, esp for someone like me who is "meh" on chocolate.

what this board needs is a food aggro thread

what, another one?

Celery is the Jimmy Buffett of vegetables.

beloved by drunk white middle aged women?

"My name is Mary, Jimymy. Bloody Mary."

http://www.theparrotheads.com/p7hg_img_2/fullsize/Jenny_Foxx_WEZF_and_Parrotheads2_Burlington,_VT_2005_fs.jpg

It was recommended to you by Julie from accounting. You thought, "Eh, how bad could it be?" It's so offensive in its blandness that you no longer speak to Julie from accounting.

i've actually eaten celery at a "cheeseburger in paradise" location.

which one of those parrotheads is Buffett supposed to be?

Ultimately, Buffett is all of them.

new board description etc etc

I love celery. I love celeriac even more - I make soup out of nothing but celery, celeriac and a little potato, all pureed up. Salty, celerish good.

(err, with stock too obv)

let's not forget its role in BUFFALO WINGS

I like celery ok when it's raw or when it's an aromatic that's cooked way down in soups or stocks, but I really hate celery in stir-fries and other dishes where it's barely cooked.

All that said, I still don't trust this:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_B6gyINLrSBg/SIdI33ZHmQI/AAAAAAAACqc/0adre3KtvwA/s1600/SmallSteps450W.jpg

V8 juice is strongly celery-flavoured (along with the tomato and etc).

Celery is fine as a flavor in stock or as celery salt, but I hate actual bits of celery so much. I eat around it in soup like a child. And the smell of it raw is incredibly gross to me.

I would also like to retire cucumber in sushi rolls. And green peppers in general. They should be considered unripe and inedible. All melons need to go as well.

I can't actually hate on celery too much, because without it (as many have noted), there'd be no celery salt, and without celery salt, there'd be no Chicago hot dogs:
http://guiltycarnivore.com/wp-content/uploads/vienna-beef.jpg

All melons need to go as well.

Now wait a minute.

Yeah I am also no fan of cuke or melon.

idk who even uses celery salt besides people in the business of making hot dogs taste like they were dropped in the dust of a tee-ball field??

and yes, fuck melons

It's not like Chicago dogs are coated in celery salt, but it's an essential ingredient.

for me to poop on

Well played, start of alphabet. Well played.

I've never had a Chicago dog but I sure don't like the sound of celery salt. Melons are delicious and if that celery soda actually tastes like celery I might die.

Sorry - cel-ray soda

I've never had a Chicago dog

I can say without hyperbole that you are missing out on the most wondrous consumable known to humankind.

wait til this thread finds out about airplane food, whoo boy there'll be a real ass-whipping then!!!

Chicago dogs are like in my top 10 of all Things xp

http://www.sogoodblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/cibiskit.jpg

tf is this stuff?? what is it for????

mmmm, I used to love that shit

Matzo ball soup when consumed by non-Jews.

spam, corned beef - it's not the war y'know? who eats this crap?

would ride a mile for some corned beef right now

rotten.

I like corned beef! Boiled corned silverside and veg and bechamel.

Liver can fuck off tho.

you're all a bunch of animals.

liver's alright if prepared well.

The Co-Op near my house used to do packs of sliced liver sausage for 39p (all the other sliced meat products were over £1) but it has been retired and I miss it, even though I get that everyone else is probably horrified by the idea of eating 39p Co-op sliced liver sausage and will be all "yes, that should have been retired in the 1970s, and probably was by every other UK supermarket"

Lemon Curd

Woah just a second

Actually, I had some peanut butter on crumpets, first time w/ PB for 20 years, used to eat it daily.

(used to = crunchy, never smooth)

Anyways, this was smooth on crumpets, liked the first one, quite liked the second one.

But, boy did I feel ill afterwards...

want to get some of this guy's corned beef, sounds fantastic.

dell I got curious and bought a box when I worked at ShopRite in high school. It tastes like crackers coated in chicken bouillon powder (bcz well it is). not a good snack.

anyone who thinks apple juice is not delicious needs to try this stuff:
http://www.redjacketorchards.com/pages/Juices.html

dell I got curious and bought a box when I worked at ShopRite in high school. It tastes like crackers coated in chicken bouillon powder (bcz well it is). not a good snack.

ah, okay. that's s good description, i can pretty much imagine it now

hurting those do look good but tbh i don't really like apples themselves very much, so... the apple rhubarb one sounds good to me though

tf is this stuff?? what is it for????

― dell (del)

they are crackers that taste like chicken. they are for when you want to eat crackers that taste like chicken.

honestly this is not very hard del, i think you need to rethink this thread project.

Bone marrow
Bitter melon

they are for when you want to eat crackers that taste like chicken.

just hard for me to imagine there being that much of a demand for something like that to warrant a nabisco product being dedicated to it. seems ill-conceived to me. i mean, these are basically dog treats masquerading as ppl food

Bitter melon

i'm not sure if i've had this in anything but i read this last night and it was not particularly helpful

chicken in a biskit crackers are mother fucking delicious.