Brazilian Sexy

So the woman who invented the Brazilian bikini wax has a new book out called "Brazilian Sexy" that I think we need to talk about. Here are 10 tips from her book one more baffling than the next.

) BRAZILIAN WAXES ARE MORE SANITARY.

“[Brazilian bikini waxes] are a lot more sanitary, because you can just wash that area and get it really clean. No more hair to interfere. When you wipe yourself, nothing gets tangled in your hair. It’s as if you were never really clean before. Additionally, when you have a Brazilian, you don’t have a lot of discharge out of your vagina, and it’s a lot cleaner.”

2) STOP TOUCHING YOUR FACE!

“If I get an itch on my face, I use the heel on my hand to scratch it. Never do I use my fingernails. Oh no, the face is not the place for that, it’s too rough on the skin. It’s one of the things I notice in American women, is that they touch their faces all of the time. In Brazil and in Europe, you will see that women never touch their faces.”

3) DON’T MAKE FUNNY FACES.

“I try not to make funny faces. Otherwise the skin is going to be a mess. […] I think it stretches out the muscles, and they don’t go back to the way they should be.”

4) WALK OUTSIDE TO GET COLOR.

“I spend half an hour or so every day out in the sun. Even in the winter, I make sure to get outside, walk, feel the sun on my face. In the summer, same thing. I make sure my arms are uncovered so they get some color, too. Nothing too much, but a little color on my skin feels good.”

5) STARE DOWN AT – NOT STRAIGHT-ON INTO – A MIRROR TO APPLY PERFECT EYELINER.

“I used to stand up in front of the mirror [to apply liner] and it was never the same from one side of my face to another, and never the same on top or on bottom. Then one day I was playing on the bed with my granddaughter, and she had this little mirror. I leaned over it and it was amazing – my eyes weren’t squinting. I realized that when you looked down at the mirror instead of straight ahead of it, your eye stayed open. I went to my bag and grabbed an eyeliner and drew a line under my eye – perfect. Then I drew a line on top – perfect. This trick […] is foolproof.”

6) DIET IS EVERYTHING.

“There are always big bowls of fruits in my house […] and walnuts and nutcrackers everywhere, always. Brazilian people also eat a lot of guarra nut powder. It’s a little fruit that grows in the Amazon; it has a black seed that you put in the oven to dry and you make it a powder. You can put it into your coffee or juice. It’s very healthy and gives you energy, makes your stomach feel right. I personally eat a lot of acacia berries for energy […] and I eat a lot of cilantro. Cilantro is very important for stamina, and if you eat it every day it gives you the get up and go you need.”

7) THE SECRET TO MAKING HIM HAPPY IS ...

"Men love oral sex [...] So many men have told me this and when I ask new men about it they always agree -- they want you to put your little finger in their asshole when they are about to have an orgasm. They want you to press down on the floor of the anus, the area closer to the scrotum [...] Now, some women like to do this and there's no problem. You just have to make sure not to put that finger anyplace else until you wash it really well. It can carry a lot of bacteria that could get in your vagina and give you an infection."

8) TASTE YOURSELF.

"If you want to know what your vagina tastes like, why not just put a clean finger up in there and then take it out and lick it? If we want someone else to taste, then why not us, too? It's like serving soup that you haven't tasted yet. You want to know, so do it. It's tasty, right?"

9) RE-VIRGINIZE YOURSELF IN THE SHOWER.

"It sounds like it would be hard to do, but it is very simple. When you're taking a shower, you put one leg up on the side of the bathtub. Put your middle finger inside your vagina, push up and run the finger around, like you were cleaning your nose. Take the finger out, rinse it off, and then do it again. And again. By that time, the vagina will be getting tighter. After a few times, it's hard to even get your finger in. I tell my clients to do this before they make love. So when the man tries to put his penis in, it will be too tight [...] The sex will be better than you ever had before."

10) KEEP YOURSELF CLEAN.

When I ask men their biggest turnoff, the thing they wish would change in women, guys from all over the world -- Italians, French, Brazilians, Greeks -- they tell me that they are concerned American women aren't cleaning themselves that well down there. We have to take another few minutes when we are in the shower to clean our vagina and anus. You take some soap and get that area soapy, then rinse off. You don't use soap inside your vagina, only water. Maybe a washcloth to help around back. It takes no time. But just the way you wouldn't forget to wash your legs, you shouldn't forget to wash your genitals."

Which is your favorite? I was gonna poll but thought discussion would be better suited in this instance. Oh and i would really really appreciate it if someone would explain #9 to me cause idgi. Thank you in advance.

Sorta wish I had left out #1 cause it's a) laughable and b) likely to turn this into another boring hair v. bare thread.

Additionally, when you have a Brazilian, you don’t have a lot of discharge out of your vagina

lol

#8 o_0

3) DON’T MAKE FUNNY FACES.

otm

9) RE-VIRGINIZE YOURSELF IN THE SHOWER.

always

Ha I knew that one would be commented on first. I actually totally agree with her on that one. Well, mostly.

Oh wait - that was to #8

9) RE-VIRGINIZE YOURSELF IN THE SHOWER.

BUT WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE?

More importantly - how many ppl reading this thread will now actually try this next time they shower.

5) STARE DOWN AT – NOT STRAIGHT-ON INTO – YOUR BRAZILIAN SLAVES

x-post I don't know that I'd liken it to serving soup, for instance.

http://www.xojane.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/article_full_width/field_image_attachments/article/Picture%2010_2.png

A Gorgeous and Confident Life (with less discharge)

11) SERVE SOUP OUT OF YOUR VAGINA

"Men love oral sex [...] So many men have told me this and when I ask new men about it they always agree -- they want you to put some soup in to your vagina and serve it to them with a spoon when they are about to have an orgasm."

lol

     ^
secrets to 
  living
a gorgeous
    and
confident
    life
     v

what a gorgeous life shes living look at her revirginizing herself in the shower

i'm definitely revirginizing myself

12. be sure to toss your own salad once in a while

Stop making me laugh ppl - I am not supposed to make funny faces, remember!?

also gtfo with that anus stuff lady. i dont even like going near my own ass let alone inviting someone inside like a vampire.

push up and run the finger around, like you were cleaning your nose
push up and run the finger around, like you were cleaning your nose
push up and run the finger around, like you were cleaning your nose
push up and run the finger around, like you were cleaning your nose

I love how these range from totally normal stuff like going out & getting some sun to RE-VIRGINIZE YOURSELF IN THE SHOWER.

Exactly.

There are a couple that are totally otm and the rest are like batshit insane not to mention ridiculous.

neti?

vaginal neti

wait - i guess that's just a douche

which should be rebranded as vaginal netis imo

or netis should be rebranded as nose douches

That's gonna be my new band btw - never forget. Vaginal Neti. We're gonna be huge.

neti pot ... in my vagina

Vagineti™

get vince from slap chop on this

"stop having a boring vagina, stop having a boring life"

have a boring tuna

wait, what

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&biw=1296&bih=688&q=%22guarra+nut+powder%22&oq=%22guarra+nut+powder%22&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=741l741l0l1145l1l1l0l0l0l0l28l28l1l1l0

FETUCINNI, LINGUINI, MARTINI, VAGINI

fuck you now people know I read xojane.com

actually I don't care

I will forever love/hate Jane Pratt.

I heard it praised
By drugstore clerks
I tried the stuff
Hot dog!
It works
Lysol Douche
― Tep (ktepi), Friday, June 18, 2004 11:05 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

If you're stuck
with dirty gash,
never fear -
give us a splash!
LYSOL DOUCHE!
― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, June 18, 2004 11:08 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Pine Sol makes you
Taste like trees
This will have him
On his knees
LYSOL DOUCHE!
― Tep (ktepi), Friday, June 18, 2004 11:09 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Eddie Murphy does a routine about putting Old Spice on his dick and the subsequent trauma (culminating in his mother catching him with his dick in the sink and his grandmother telling him he's nasty).
― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, June 18, 2004 11:11 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Man's complaining?
Get a clue!
Soap and water
just won't do.
LYSOL DOUCHE!
― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, June 18, 2004 11:12 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(Another one taken from Burma Shave):
It has a tingle
And a tang
That starts the day off
With a bang
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, June 18, 2004 11:19 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Inky binky
parlez-vous;
Europeans stink,
and so do you!
LYSOL DOUCHE!

omg

A disgusting young harlot, Louise,
Had cunt hair right down to her knees.
The crabs in her twat
Tied her hair in a knot
And constructed a flying trapeeze.
― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, June 18, 2004 11:52 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It sounds like it would be hard to do, but it's very simple

hard to believe it's been seven years since lysol douche

haha sorry I wasn't trying to reveal yr blog habits - just pointing out that "guarra nut powder" is apparently not even a real thing

xpost yeah might be time for another one amirite

YAY!!!

btw - I have not yet read the comments on that article but someone probably should because there are bound to be some gems from my fellow xojane.com readers. I am leaving now. Do me proud.

It sounds like it would be hard to do, but it's very simple

― horseshoe, Tuesday, September 13, 2011 4:53 PM (28 seconds ago) Bookmark

Wait what is?

Also that YAY was for you, bb.

who doesn't wash their genitals etc in the shower?? like isn't that the main point of showering??

<3

that is what this crazy lady says about revirginizing yourself!

xp

some of us have bidets ffs

Robyn otm however it seems like ladies be stupid and need to be told this by the famously clean and sweet smelling men of France, Greece and wherever else she mentioned.

hahaaaa

i hope her next book is called Fingerbang Yourself Back to Virginity

HAHAHAHAHAHA

OMG

she really should have called this book that. way to bury the lede

<3

that is what this crazy lady says about revirginizing yourself!

xp

― horseshoe, Tuesday, September 13, 2011 4:55 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

Because of a cross post, for a split second I thought you were referring to douching.

is this a thing where this woman is crazy or are we to believe that brazilian throughout the country of brazil are doing all these things? (which seems totally crazy, but then i heard in our lamaze class that like 95% of brazilian women get c-sections to keep their vaginas looking swell which is about equally crazy as all these other choices if not crazier)

I tell my clients to do this before they make love. So when the man tries to put his penis in, it will be too tight [...]

god i want to write a book in retaliation called Dirty Hairy Pussy

Utah Modest

Hahaha robin!

When girls are tight, it might be gross

"It's like serving soup that you haven't tasted yet."

totally missed this one until just now.

no lie I go to lamaze class to get my vagina swole

i think it's a good book idea! (the dirty part is ironic - keep yr pussies clean, ladies!)
lol
xps
to be fair, the thing about not touching yr face too much is otm

the secret to making him happy is to s the d

think this is p true

i think you are glossing the rest of that one, dude

so wait the secret to making him happy is to revirginize him

revirginize him like you were cleaning your nose.

the secret to making him happy is giving him half a shocker

if i had a vagina i'd totally be trying to revirginise myself next time i was in the shower. i'd probably stop halfway through and think wtf am i doing tho.

no its to devirginize him

if i had a vagina i'd totally be trying to revirginise myself next time i was in the shower.

lost peter paul & mary lyric?

doesn't really scan

if i had a vagina
i'd stick in a finger
like a finger up a nose
a nose that needed picking

if I had a million vaginas
I'd be rich

save up all emissions from the men you have devirginized and apply them to yourself next time you are in the shower: you will be younger, more supple, and happier much like an evil Russian queen who bathes in the blood of newborn children.

It's like serving soup that you haven't tasted yet.

"Hmm, needs more chilli pepper"

I'd just go get that hymen replacement surgery between sexual partners.

'Cause everyone's so fond of hymens...

it can't just be me and the pope

Has anybody ever seen the both of you in the same room? Just curious.

OK, so I have spent way way too much time thinking about the logistics of this re-virginizing yourself thing and here's what I've come up with in terms of what could actually maybe "work" about this. Water and, uh, lady sex juice don't really mix very well. This is what makes underwater sex not actually as good an idea as it seems in the moving pictures. So basically what her little technique would do is remove the natural lube and make for a bone dry pussy thereby leading to a lot of friction during sex and a seemingly tighter vag? I don't know, but it's all I've got.

yeah that's what her instructions sounds like :/

Actually, it sounds like she might have a mild case of Vaginismus.

to be fair, the thing about not touching yr face too much is otm

YES as i found out the hard way after catching an awful staph infection on my face recently (which isn't even close to completely healed after more than 2 fucking weeks).

I love how these range from totally normal stuff like going out & getting some sun to RE-VIRGINIZE YOURSELF IN THE SHOWER.

― Battlestar Gracián (crüt), Tuesday, September 13, 2011 4:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

it's not only this, but it just jumps from one end of the pendulum to the other, like from eating acai berries to fingering a dude's prostate. i feel like we missed, oh idk, at least 30 tips that should have gradually led up to that one

"don't stick your finger in your vagina immediately after fingering your husband's asshole" is def a very sound tip imo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH0S5tJCkQM

even more o_O than "taste your own vagina" and "scrape out your vagina like a tub of ice cream" is "don't make funny faces because it fucks your face up" bcuz a. what and b. it's sort of the cousin i guess of getting wrinkles around your mouth from smiling... but... instead of your skin it's... your muscles?

nutcrackers everywhere

Actually, I have heard a lot of this before...and more. Maybe it's a Hispanic, South American or a growing up someplace other than America thing but this sort of shit was handed down to me through aunts, great-aunts, grandmother and my mom, all from Mexico. Ridiculous shit that made me neurotic for years.

In Brazil and in Europe, you will see that women never touch their faces.

Oh yes, as an European I can tell you women never touch their faces. It's even more unladylike than farting in public.

If we want someone else to taste, then why not us, too? It's like serving soup that you haven't tasted yet.

It's true that a funky smell and/or taste can make your partner averse to lingusing your cunni, but the solution to this problem is simply to wash it regularly. It's not haute cuisine and nobody licks it for the taste of it, so you don't have to play a cook here.

So when the man tries to put his penis in, it will be too tight [...] The sex will be better than you ever had before.

The pussy being too tight is usually painful for both participants, so I can't see how the sex will better than ever before, unless your guy is some kind of a virgin fetishist. Which (I hope) most guys aren't.

Ladies and gentlemen give it up for Sexual Tuomas.

Tuomas...in my vagina?

Actually, I have heard a lot of this before...and more. Maybe it's a Hispanic, South American or a growing up someplace other than America thing

I got handed a lot this kind of bullshit by my ex, as well, who would always say, "All the doctors in Germany say this" or "It's well-known by women in Croatia that sitting on a cold surface is bad for you, that's probably why you're sick now."

Also, whoah, this book.

Re-virginize yourself with this one weird old trick

It's like one big old wives' tale.

xp lol

I can't believe I missed this thread yesterday and, in my absence, not a single one of you used the phrase "neden pot"

y'all are slippin

I had fully expected you to have a new username based on this thread btw.

I have actually heard of the revirginization thing but with some kind of acidic drying solution that would pucker everything up and make it dry and um painful but get you through the wedding night w an unsuspecting husband, for people for whom that is a "thing".

Another effect of dryness is to increase your chances of micro-tears and abrasions, all avenues for STDs and other infections. I wonder if vaginal infections are Brazilian sexy, too?

"It's well-known by women in Croatia that sitting on a cold surface is bad for you, that's probably why you're sick now."

Interesting! Pretty sure my mom still sort of believes this and she probably learned it from her mother who was . . . Croatian!

x-post - Yeah, you're otm re the abrasions and stuff. It's bad news.

i tried to revirginize myself last night but i couldnt find my vagina

I had fully expected you to have a new username based on this thread btw.

I only just read it now! I think I'm stunned for choice

I have to cosign the "she comes barreling out of the gate and lulls you with not necessarily batshit insane advice so that #7 smacks you in the taint like an unwanted dirty finger face like a 2x4" commentary upthread

I actually read #7 in Cosmo or something or other a long time ago when I was young and impressionable. THIS IS TERRIBLE ADVICE. That's all I am going to say.

Hmmm. I wasn't going to say anything BUT since you already sorta went there - while I think she's exaggerating #7 a bit when she says every man - it was absolutely true for at least one of my exes.

immediate posting regret

Well, like I said I was very inexperienced so I went for it and got an immediate "ARGH WTF ARE YOU DOING?"

Yeah, I'm probably going to have immediate posting regret.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yeah I don't think it's really something that you'd want to just spring on someone unsuspecting.

nobody licks it for the taste of it

You mean no-one does it for that alone perhaps

Thw whole "virginally tight" fetish irks me for some reason. Maybe because I can think of two women, one who had even had a kid, whose vaginas were abnormally tight. One had never had penetrative sex and the mother had difficulty having fun that way.

you would think in that situation it would be impossible to be too forward, and yet

ladies, kiss him a lil tell him he looks nice before you sick yr finger up his butt, its common curtsy

common crutisy

I can think of at least three sex tips from cosmo that led to awkward and humiliating situations for me. Never get sex advice from ladymags! Or brazilian bikini wax inventors, for that matter.

lmao

when u have to come up w/~10 minimum sex tips per issue theres bound to be some mistakes made

The whole "virginally tight" fetish irks me for some reason.

Maybe because it's degrading and dehumanizing?

naw its cause hes so large

Yeah, I'm probably going to have immediate posting regret.

omg

no I am because when you wrote that the first thing that popped into my head was "he's so large (doo lang doo lang doo lang"

Maybe because it's degrading and dehumanizing?

It's either a virgin fantasy or it's a I'm so huge fantasy, neither of which are particularly my thing.

By all means take sex tips from Cosmo or your friends or whomever but there's gotta be some kind of communication, some kind of trial and feedback before you spring them on someone.

mad respect to the first person who confesses blurting "I HOPE YOU SAVED SOME TURKEY FOR ME" during an intimate moment

Too small is not good.

And that's all I'm sayin on the subject.

Why just the little finger?

they want you to put your little finger forearm in their asshole when they are about to have an orgasm.

"ARGH WTF ARE YOU DOING?"

uh yeah especially don't suddenly decide you're going to attempt cosmo-style bedroom advice when you're drunk and have giant fingernails ffs

"WHY ARE YOU STABBING MY TAINT?!"

I was about to type that!

You don't use soap inside your vagina, only water.

I have a question: is even water necessary inside the vagina? Doesn't the vagina clean itself? Should you be shooting water up there?

self-cleaning vagina

No, I mean, I was reading something about douching and the article mentioned that, but I don't know really what a girl's supposed to do in the shower.

thought this thread would be about samba and y'know beaches and whatnot.

smh at y'all, again

in fairness, "whatnot" is a pretty broad term

thought this thread would be about samba and y'know beaches and whatnot.

Funny, you're not usually that naive.

i've been busy

this one goes out to tip #7, LeShaun already went there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz78rDmmpY8

self-cleaning vagina

You joke, but it is self-cleaning!

The no soap water only thing is really correct but talking about the external stuff - the vulva. You don't actually need to clean the vagina out at all. It does it's own job of it pretty well. In fact, douching is largely totally unnecessary and often harmful.

Oh, Christ. I just googled "self-cleaning vagina" to get some quote on this as back-up and was greeted by several totally spread eagle ladies. Thanks wikipedia! Hope noone walked by my desk a couple mins ago. :/

self clowning vagina

Even the wikipedia article for vagina is a little "wowzers".

how often do you guys say vagina irl

Yeah, I'm not looking again while here but I think it was the one on vulvas.

lol at everything

x-post - Now? Not very often. When I was in school for Women's Health and working at a family planning clinic? More than I ever thought I would.

i hope you saved some pastéis for me

I kind of remember being among a group of people somewhere, at some point, maybe I was drunk, that would make it more excusable, at least to me, at this time in my life, but I was talking about vaginas, and as I continued to speak I just got more and more uncomfortable because everyone was really quiet, and I started using different words for vagina, but I used a different word for vagina every time I had to say vagina, and I think that that was a bad idea, now that I've made the mistake of thinking about this, I should have just committed to the word vagina

I bet that was a really bad idea!

Pretty sure this has come up more than once on ILX but one of the girls I was in school with insisted on saying va-jay-jay in class and it drove me bonkers. We were talking about obstetric fistulas once* and having this pretty serious discussion during which she let that one fly at least 5x. I nearly strangled her.

*before anyone goes Googling and then comes back to yell at me - it's not for the faint of heart.

I know what that is. Lord. Va-jay-jay is not half as bad as Hoo-Hah.

wau @ trying to sass up a discussion on fistulas

I think that in an academic or professional setting Va-jay-jay and hoo-hah are probably equally bad. I'm totally fine with people using other words most of the time and probably wouldn't have cared in the sitch fantasy described at all but it was as if this girl couldn't even bring herself to actually say vagina. Ugh. I sort of hated her in general though so that probably contirbuted to the level of anger I felt every time she said it.

i'm just glad this thread gave me the opportunity to say 'self-clowning vagina'

I was reading something about douching

...

epic thread, too good for TMI

haha I feel like I tricked you into reading this by putting it on ILE instead of where it probably really belongs.

Did they at least also use a "clever" word for rectum on the fistula talk?

You joke, but it is self-cleaning!

I was actually just laying groundwork for my "self cleaning oven : self cleaning vagina :: EZ Bake oven : EZ Bake vagina" joke

douching is largely totally unnecessary and often harmful

one for the FAQ

Did they at least also use a "clever" word for rectum on the fistula talk?

there will be prizes awarded for the most succinct explanation of a fistula using tv-friendly euphemistic language

rec-lec-lec

hiney

rec-tay-tay

x-post

idk about hiney - feel like that's more an external description

hiney:rectum as vulva:vagina

"a fistula is an owie on your funny hole"

pretty broad

How retrograde!

oh god not fistulas, don't make me think about fistulas

*tries not to remember horrible story*

fistu-la-la

rec-tay-tum o' neil

"a fistula is an owie on your funny hole"

One of Andy Rooney's more off-color rants.

"a fistula is an owie on your funny hole"

the funny hole and the mommy hole, dan.

oh right, I forgot what we were actually talking about

wait if the penis is self-cleaning then have I been using q-tips incorrectly?

o_O

http://amarudontv.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/q-tip.jpg

"Breathe.... STOP!"

oh god

q-rethra

Yeah, I heard he was a little bent outta shape, mh.

q-rethra

respect

Oh, Christ. I just googled "self-cleaning vagina" to get some quote on this as back-up and was greeted by several totally spread eagle ladies.

I like interpreting this as said ladies bursting into E's workplace and splaying

it's a setting on the vagina dial. 'cold' tepid' 'lukewarm' 'hot' 'very hot' 'self-cleaning'

just make sure there's nothing in it at the time, or yll end up with cinders

so you guys are talking about fistulas huh

was inevitable, really

http://www.gdansk-life.com/media/pics/river.jpg

Remove Bookmark from this Thread

people love to rap about 'tearin' the booty out the frame' and what have you, but when the inevitable anal fistula emerges, then everybody splits

You sure you don't mean prolapse?

Remove Bookmark from this Thread

remove pubic hair from this ass

many xposts

fuck you now people know I read xojane.com

actually I don't care

I will forever love/hate Jane Pratt.

― your mom the burrito (ENBB), Tuesday, 13 September 2011 20:52 (2 days ago)

my family is from Durham and was good friends w/ the Pratts growing up; apparently Jane babysat for me a when she was home from college (though I was only like 2 or 3 so I don't remember any of this).

I just wanna go back to this for a sec:

7) THE SECRET TO MAKING HIM HAPPY IS ...
8) TASTE YOURSELF.

x-post !!! :D

Sorta wish I had left out #1 cause it's a) laughable and b) likely to turn this into another boring hair v. bare thread.

I am wistfully looking at this prediction, thinking of what could have been

the hare / bare bunch?

HAIRBARESTARE

lol

brb i'm gonna go search to see if anyone has used 'Q-Rethra Franklin' dn yet

http://www.writers-network.com/avatars/care-bear.gif

3) DON’T MAKE FUNNY FACES.

3) DON’T MAKE FUNNY FACES.
8) TASTE YOURSELF.

I definitely think if youre reading closely, 3) & 4) subtly telegraph the craziness that hits you full force by 7)

"It's well-known by women in Croatia that sitting on a cold surface is bad for you, that's probably why you're sick now."

I have been told this!

I just thought "whatever, lady, you think an IUD can get out of you uterus and get lost inside your body. I am not trusting science and health information from you."

Errrr - they can. As far as I understand it it's pretty uncommon but I'm IUD can technically perforate the uterus and migrate to some other part of the abdominal cavity.

I think usually happens when the uterus is perforated during insertion rather than a well-inserted IUD just sorta doing it itself but still, it can actually wind up in some other part of the body.

Someone once told me that sitting on concrete gives you hemorrhoids. I don't know if that is a "telephone game" version of the same advice?

btw kudos everyone for not starting a poll

This lady walked around unknowingly with 2 IUDS, one of which had migrated to her abdominal cavity, for 10 years!

http://www.marmaramedicaljournal.org/text.php3?id=442

should I be as horrified by that as I am or is that not that big of a deal

Meh. I've read/seen a lost weirder things. That said, the term "PROTRUDING URETHRAL STONE" is pretty horrifying.

I think that's what is getting to me

Yikes!

iuds be migratin

must be autumn

It's either a virgin fantasy or it's a I'm so huge fantasy, neither of which are particularly my thing.

Me neither. Mine is the I'm so Hugo Chavez fantasy. Brazilian gals love it.

Oh, I think the women at work thought it would just float out rather than accidental perforation.

And everyone at work except me believes if you pluck one white hair out, two more grow back.

http://i51.tinypic.com/2dky2ko.jpg

Thank u for nothing, this thread, now every time I touch/scratch my face (I do this more often than I realised) I am selfconcious of it! :(

youre gonna be so sexy once you break that habit tho

You mean I'm not now ;_;

lol trayce posts v much in character

Hahaha knew you would say that <3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBXTnyQ2Hr8

I stumbled across this thread while doing some unrelated searching for the original "mommy hole"/"funny hole" post and yes I still find this hilarious