Food Trends Men Hate!

ahaha

Are we voting for best or worst?

Another totally non-stereotypical article from the sausage factory at Yahoo.

Best food, worst asshole.

lol but

by Sarah B. Weir, Yahoo! blogger

John Mariani, author of How Italian Food Conquered the World, food and travel editor for Esquire, and author of the Virtual Gourmet Newsletter, says the bottom line is that men don’t want to be told what to eat by their wives, girlfriends, or the food police. What they really hate is, as he puts it: “The thought of a food being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for them, alien to their entrenched preferences. They are highly (rightly) suspicious of the health claims made of certain foods and the criticism made of their favorites.” And don’t even think of serving him a gourmet burger.

destroy men

I don't want anywhere near tableside guac prep.

Salon owner Joe's statement segues pretty well from Richard lawyer's on cupcakes. I wonder if they were all interviewed in the same room.

m bison otm

--Titus, student

these "manly" dudes are the most petulant mewling babies on earf

--Joe, salon owner

http://i.imgur.com/sd5WX.jpg

rib-shaped pork patties

don't even think about serving me a gourmet burger! don't even try it, guy!!

yo gimme some tableside guac for my free range bison burger, preferably with some locally-sourced small-batch dijon mustard.

men are such pussies, can't even eat a fucking macaroon

In fairness, the concept of a burger on brioche is bizarre and probably gross.

kinda feel like the quotes should be attributed to these folks:

http://images.quickblogcast.com/2/4/0/8/2/137047-128042/voices.JPG

will admit that i don't see the point of tableside guac. aren't you supposed to let the ingredients mingle for half an hour first?

I had never heard of tableside guac

i'm not a guacamole fan so i don't give a damn, but tableside anything is kinda jive in 2011 -- if i wanted steak tartare or cherries jubilee, i'd hop in a delorean back to 1978.

I have a food peeve - the terms "flavor profile" and "mouth-feel".

hanging out at wine tastings, spencer?

sushi w/ brown rice sounds nom tbh

anyway i voted "vegan" as most ridiculous. most food that grows on this earth is "vegan."

having a hard time imagining vinegar flavored brown rice tbh, seems like the sour/sweet/salty feel would clash with the earthiness of the brown rice

As much as I was ready to laugh at this by the title, I really do dislike most of these things.

I mean tableside guac -- yeah, don't like being ripped off obv, and there's nothing impressive about seeing someone make something I can make myself.
Tofu -- a misunderstood food to be sure, but also usually miscooked.
Vegan -- yeah ok this one is dumb, not a "food trend" etc.
Brioche burgers -- yes! this tastes fucking gross, it's like putting butter on your hamburger
Sliders -- corny and ubiquitous
Raw food - see vegan
Endless menu descriptions -- this does indeed irritate me, even moreso when the waiter long-windedly describes them
Cupcakes -- never understood the point, rarely good
Macaroons -- ok these are fucking delicious

(forgetting the) tableside guac is bush league, bro

for some reason i read 'trends' as a verb

the coconut macaroons you get at passover and are sometimes chocolate-flavored = awesome.
the french "macarons" = less awesome.

what is a gourmet burger that makes it such an appalling prospect? i've had a couple of burgers described as that and i don't know what made them different from non-gourmet burgers besides the menu having more specifics about the ingredients.

IDK, I've only had the french ones once. Someone brought us some from the Bouchon bakery and I thought they were really good. I wouldn't want to eat them all the time.

<3 coconut macaroons, never had the other kind

Brioche or challah w/ burgers is really sort of gross and I get annoyed any time I'm served that combo. No need.

macarons are amazing fuiud

i didn't say "not awesome," i just said "less awesome"!

They look like little pastel colored Whoopie pies. Whoopie pies are awesome so I'm willing to be they're good too, I've just never had them.

The macaron is commonly filled with buttercream or jam filling sandwiched between two cookies. Its name is derived from an Italian word "maccarone" or "maccherone". This word is itself derived from ammaccare, meaning crush or beat, used here in reference to the almond paste which is the principal ingredient.

Wait - do they taste like almonds because then I'd love them since everything that tastes like almonds is freakin' delicious.

I like brioche burgers

"gourmet burger" means a burger that is so damn big you can't bite into it without unhinging your jaw

they sorta taste like almonds...not overwhelmingly

xp eh aren't most restaurant burgers like that? i do have a tiny mouth and trouble eating a lot of burgers tbh.

brioche with a burger? rubbish, that's never a 'thing'.

Nodding along with ed, tbh, that's a personal thing tho no hate on the vegans out there

sandwiched between two cookies

macaron fail

Generalizing about "gourmet burgers" seems kind of meaningless. I definitely hate overly bready buns of any kind, ESPECIALLY extra-rich ones like brioche -- in spite of its connotations of sophistication, this strikes me as an even more savage way to eat a burger, not far from putting it on a donut. I have definitely enjoyed shiatsu-massaged, grass-fed, bedtime-story-read beef burgers and even lamb burgers, although like any good meat they are often ruined by toppings.

they taste like almonds because they're made with almond flour

225 grams icing (or or confectioner's) sugar
125 grams ground almonds (or almond flour)
110 grams egg whites (about 4), aged overnight at room temperature
30 grams granulated sugar
1 T. vanilla (or rosewater, lemon extract, orgeat, liqueur, anís) + corresponding food dye
Pinch of salt

the only acceptable bun for a burger is (a) standard white hamburger bun (b) grilled rye bread (for patty melts)

a lot of food is pretty disgusting

I guess I have to admit that I don't understand all the fuss surrounding macarons.

^ real talk

I really hate brown rice sushi. It tastes so wrong and the texture is all off.

but tableside anything is kinda jive in 2011

noooooooooo, bananas foster

Suggest Ban Permalink

I have a food peeve - the terms "flavor profile" and "mouth-feel".

― Spencer Chow, Wednesday, October 19, 2011 8:42 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Ditto. I also can't stand it when something is described as having "notes of" something, or a something "finish." I guess that's more wine talk, but seeing as how my favorite food is Bugles filled with aerosol cheese, I should probably shut the fuck up.

those cheese-filled bugles are very aerosol-forward

would gladly take a DeLorean back to 1978 to eat steak tartare tyvm

Tableside guacamole - don't know what this is, sounds like something you'd deal with at a shitty mexican place from the folks who brought you outback steakhouse
Tofu - not bad in a pinch in certain dishes
Vegan - this is mainly a term to make sure people who want to eat know they're in the clear, which is fine. nothing wrong with vegan food at all.
Fancy rolls such as brioche or sourdough with hamburgers - some of the best burgers i've had have had brioche buns but sourdough buns? never had one or seen one afaik.
Sliders - appetizer burgers, nothing to get worked up about imo.
Raw food - don't really seek it out
Sushi with brown rice - don't really see this much. it's okay when i've had it.
Endless menu descriptions - if they're creative they can be cool. i feel like this isn't a big thing either, i rarely see any places w/essays below food items.
Cupcakes - mostly gross at least in the new upscale cupcake movement, usually they seem really processed and with nasty icing. homemade cupcakes are pretty awesome though.
Macarons (French macaroons) - we had these at our wedding for the guests, they went over really well and everyone loved 'em.

primarily this poll was to point out that this shit is equally loved or hated by both men and women and this article is on some home improvement grunty level of analysis.

tableside guac is cool! a guy comes to your table and makes some gauc, it's not a big deal.

IDK, I'd wager that a lot more men than women hate cupcakes and macarons. Otherwise agreed.

really tho what kind of restaurants does tablside guac exist at? weirdo suburban mexican joints? upscale manhattan places?

crush fetish hut

Rosa Mexicana apparently does it (upscale Manhattan place that has been around a while) -- friend told me he had it

what are food trends women hate?

this isn't really a "trend," but i was in a specialty food shop yesterday and i saw some jars of small-batch jam that cost upwards of $10. fruit, sugar, pectin, and parts/labor should not cost that much, even factoring in a profit.

'upscale' Mexican is usually p dud ime

^^^ wants latinos to be a permanent servant class

WTF is "tableside guac". whats tableside mean?
Agree on the brown rice sushi tho, see that everyewhere here now, gtfo with that crap.

really tho what kind of restaurants does tablside guac exist at? weirdo suburban mexican joints? upscale manhattan places?

― iatee, Wednesday, October 19, 2011 11:10 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

there is a p. normal mexican place in cambridge ma that does this. we go there for brunch, get some guac and some huevos rancheros, take it easy etc.

nm i didnt read the thread properly

do you tip the tableside guac dude

trayce it means they have a cart and they bring it over, scoop out some avocados, add lime juice and shit, mash it up and give it to you.

not separately from tipping on the check, no

I was at a new Mexican restaurant in our neighborhood that bills itself as an "urban taqueria" and they did table side guacamole. I'm generally indifferent but I was dining alone and reading a book and really resenting having to sit there and look fascinated by the guy mashing up an avocado right in front of my eyes

The bigger issue there is "urban taqueria," imo.

yeah it sounds pretty ridic.

all it really means is the guac is really fresh, if that's a concern of yours. i would order guac regardless of where it was made so while i can buy that this practice is somewhat eccentric, it doesn't really phase me.

WTF is "tableside guac". whats tableside mean?
Agree on the brown rice sushi tho, see that everyewhere here now, gtfo with that crap.

― Trayce, Wednesday, October 19, 2011 11:13 PM Bookmark

Not only does it make bad sushi, but it represents a kind of crazed/falacious mentality that you can somehow cram extra health into everything. It's like the whole wheat donut (which, admittedly, is tasty).

i don't think you have to act really interested in what he's doing! it's not like there's some secret to making guac! it has five ingredients and takes like three minutes.

Yeah exactly, surely the point of/art to good sushi is the particular kind of sticky rice and its preparation.

One place here has a sign about brown rice sushi that says "more fibre! less sugar!" like sugar has ever been a concern for SUSHI o_0

if not for the show aspect, why would they be doing it right next to you tho?

it seems almost insulting not to watch

I'm glad there's a cupcake backlash brewing. Those things are vile.

cupcake backlash is like 7 years old by now, I think we're at the cupcake backlash-backlash phase

I'm in Australia mate, we still stagedive over here.

But why the hatred of brown rice? Real men should surely reject white rice - it's polished, refined, messed around with, all the things men hate.

if not for the show aspect, why would they be doing it right next to you tho?

― iatee, Wednesday, October 19, 2011 11:19 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i think they do it so you know the guac is fresh. without really getting into details, the way the cart may be positioned not-so-near the table indicates that no one is expecting you to watch.

Brioche burgers -- yes! this tastes fucking gross, it's like putting butter on your hamburger

Brioche w/ a burger is great, IMO. Butter on a burger is not a bad thing. There's a whole company built on the concept

http://badgersontheloose.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/culvers1.jpg?w=500&h=413

i mean obviously you acknowledge the guac dude and say what's up and he asks you how spicy you want it to be but that pretty much covers the interactive part

WALLEYE IS BACK

Walleye is back

STAY INDOORS

Oh wait

Caramel pecan walleye is back.

remain indoors

WALL OF WALLEYE

http://lifestyle.resourcesforattorneys.com/fishing/images/walleye-fishing.jpg

most of these dudes are otm idk

Cupcakes -- never understood the point

You never understood the point of having something cakelike that doesn't require a fork or a plate?

i hate bacon frenzy but i'll play devil's advocate for cupcakes as i think they are basically a good idea with an obvious natural appeal. the only thing is that they are slightly hard to eat but mostly i feel that the backlash is rooted in anthony bourdain macho bullshit

― A B C, Monday, August 2, 2010 9:09 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

otm

cupcakes are delicious

But cupcakes are almost never as good as actual cake of similar cost and pretension

And honestly, cake is not an on-the-go snack, it's a treat to be savored, so I don't really get the significance of being able to eat it with one hand a no fork

I can understand not liking """""cupcakes""""" but I can't understand not liking cupcakes

The cupcakes backlash is weird. They're pretty irreproachable unless you are against their arguable tweeness.

i keep trying not to type that the cupcake backlash is about hating women but whatever it's not like i'm not a total caricature of myself at this point anyway

i mean it's not that serious but really

Now the cake "lollipop" thing...that seems like a huge example of cuteness over quality.

xp

i think that's about cutting down on cake calories and is therefore annoying and also seems pointless

"treat to be savored" and "eat it with one hand and no fork" are not mutually exclusive.

“I really don’t need to know that the pork I’m considering ordering once ate organic grass on a free range portion of Ma and Pa Kettle’s farm. The quality of the dish should speak for itself.”

--Connor, hospitality industry ex-pat

connor otm

did not realize macaroons were a thing now, been away from civilization for too long, i love macaroons

Me and the guacamole guy were the only ones in that section of the restaurant. I mean, ignoring him would have been awkward.

macarons are def a thing, you see more and more macaron-shops in manhattan/sf - seems like a pretty risky business cause you don't even have macaron-only-shops in france.

but as long as people are willing to pay you $3 for a cookie the size of a quarter, hey, go for it

I also hate the luxurification of ordinary vegetables, like when you get this one perfect little raw heirloom radish on its own plate as a "tasting" portion, and you're like "yeah, I'm tasting it, it taste like a radish" -- also feels like this weird perversion of legit social aims (organic, local etc.)

(xp) a "gourmet popsicle" shop opened up the street from me. what's the over/under on its life expectancy?

I'd say about the same as the upscale pudding-only shop that opened and closed inside of six months in the college town I used to live in.

like, they make a thing of having "gluten-free popsicles" -- seems sort of redundant?

These people think they are above the age-old principle of diversification

vegetarian popsicles available upon request

i'll take the beef bouillon popsicle

I just ate a pumpkin cupcake and it was amazing.

I love fancy popsicles.

I love big gourmet burgers.

I'm the type of guy who says 'the pudding is delicious.'

I just heard a thing on NPR about a maker of gourmet mexican popsicles known as paletas. They sounded delicious actually, but the story mentioned that she had "apprenticed" herself to a mexican paleta master. I'm seeing this concept popping up more -- "apprenticing" to an African master-baby-swaddler, "apprenticing" to a master belgian fry cook, etc.

brioche is easily the best bun for a burger?

yeah who tf has a problem w/brioche

I have a friend who got in on the gourmet popsicle biz in dc 'pl3asant p0ps'...I guess they're paletas but I don't know what makes something a paleta.

I think there's a paleta stand on the High Line -- passed it but never tried it

gourmet popsicle ice-cream trucks in sf/bklyn: it will happen (if it isn't already)

there are definitely gourmet ice cream trucks in Brooklyn (Van Leeuwen e.g.)

this thread is making me hungry

Incidentally, I just tried Momufuku's "cereal milk" soft serve ice cream. Holy shit, it's not even just good, it's like art.

I think there's a paleta stand on the High Line

i don't even know you anymore, nyc ;_ ;

paletas are delicious, the ones i've had, anyway.

what makes something a paleta and not a fruit popsicle?

other than $3

was just about to say..

but anyway... apprenticing is just a fancy food word for "unpaid interning."

xpost: different variety of flavors, inc. tamarind, jamaica, horchata...

what's wrong with holding someone's purse while they're in the changing room, just bring a book

bring for whom the bell tolls if you're so worried about your image

brioche buns are pretty good

I'm going to start a "refrescos" truck. $4 for soda.

Actually I think this exists.

just sell cold jarritos out of your trunk. they'll sell like gangbusters in summertime.

btw chefs have been apprenticing themselves for like hundreds of years its a pretty common practice in italy, france, spain, etc., american chefs will sell all their possessions to go work with some bolognese nonna for a year, so i dont know why its so weird to do with with a mexican popsicle maker unless youre racist

What makes a paleta a paleta, IME, is that it's made w/ real fruit, often tropical/exotic ones.

The paletas in Chicago are usually sold by Latino guys from push carts or bike carts w/ bells on them.

I was in the Avondale neighborhood (aka Mexi-Korea) one evening a few weeks ago and I walked by a big store front filled with the vendors and their push carts returning from work. It was like seeing a bunch of Santa Clauses in one place.

xp - what? No, you guys have it backwards. Paletas are cheap!

Yeah I was thinking like jarritos but like maybe fountain style -- I could even add the syrup to the carbonated water by hand with a pump.

anyway as usual the faux-macho hatred of "trends" is horrible as always, really it doesnt matter what the specific "trends" are or their category, its just the whole idea of "trendiness" that is "hated" by "dudes"

god forbid you try and make your burger taste like something other than char and rancid meat and spongy potato bun

01. remove top of Goya can, 02. insert popsicle stick & freeze, 03. Remove remainder of aluminum can from frozen beverage

paleta!

i don't get cupcakes though. i mean i'm not gonna make a big thing about it or anything but i'm pretty sure i've never enjoyed one. portland girls sure do like them.

how can you 'not enjoy one' - do you not like cake? do you not like frosting?

cake in general is kind of a losing proposition for me. if there were tiny pies i'd be all over them but the only people who sell those are the british and gas stations.

i love pies, but you are crazy

god forbid you try and make your burger taste like something other than char and rancid meat and spongy potato bun

― max, Thursday, October 20, 2011 12:30 AM Bookmark

By covering it up with a butter-saturated breakfast pastry meant to be eaten on its own or with jam?

...I'm not a fan of cake tbh

if there were tiny pies i'd be all over them but the only people who sell those are the british and gas stations.

Dont you guys have single serve pies like our meat pies? What is this madness!

cake is okay but there are so many better kinds of pastry

xxp i was talking about people being weird about "gourmet" burgers upthread

but brioche is eaten with all kinds of meats in france, not just "on its own or with jam"

also what is wrong with it being "butter-saturated"? good burgers are cooked in butter

sometimes i just want something really floury

regarding cake

We have fried pies at farmer's markets. And those Hostess fruit pies, which aren't very good. xp to Trayce

also subpar cake is depressing but really good cake, guys!

i approve of cake, cupcakes, whatever makes people happy

i think cupcakes are kind of problematic b/c the frosting-to-cake ratio gets all off especially with these humogo fancy cupcakes that you cannot fit in your mouth, on the other hand thats what they call one of those "good problems"

in the holiday special issue of gourmet there there's a picture of a lemon coconut layer cake that's just omg. will link a pic if i can find.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTWP2Lg64Ns

also the dude in this article is not even complaining about brioche or sourdough (??) buns hes just complaining about burgers with buns that are too big which is not a trend its just a bad burger

that is the only criticism of the cupcake phenomenon i understand. that + them being overpriced. tbh i am a savage and am fine with frosting bomb cupcakes but i guess i am p tractable about food in general.

xxxp to max

New Orleans has a better selection of fried pies at convenience stores. The convenience stores there are pretty fucking amazing, even in the central business district they have meat pies, po' boys, and fucking MEAT PIE PO' BOYS which is exactly what it sounds like.

really irritated with the woman who wrote this article for participating in the whole "you have to hide vegetables in men's food amirite" idiocy

lower left corner; you can zoom in.

http://www.condenaststore.com/new-arrivals/gourmet-holiday-special-edition/invt/137436/

Overpriced and often (though not always) seem like an excuse to sell subpar cake. Obviously a cupcake made out of really good cake is as good as anything else made out of really good cake. Even a burger bun.

that cake is a thing of beauty

also cupcakes are an opportunity for prettiness like any pastry! who can't get behind that?

"you have to hide vegetables in men's food amirite" idiocy

Arrrrgh hate this angle on kids, too. There is actually a brand of red pasta sauce here with a variety called "Hidden Vegies" FFS.

one thing about "food trends" is that obviously by the time the thing becomes a "trend" everyone and her mom are making the food and usually doing a subpar job while the chefs/restaurants who originated the thing and made it really good have moved on so like now in nyc every goddamn restaurant in town has pork belly something on the menu & meanwhile david chang is making duck for people every thursday night

or something

duck (and duck fat) has been a thing for a couple years, but nowhere near as big as pork belly

yeah i am not taking a stand against cupcakes or anything, i get that they are cute and that people like cake

veganism on the other hand i tend to think is a genuine Error but then i am a vegetarian and it's kind of a circular firing squad over here

i made a duck confit risotto for thanksgiving one year, a while back. duck is tricky to work with (i.e. "gamy"); maybe that's why it's not catching on so quickly.

i just realized i said "i don't get cupcakes" up there and that my position on cupcakes now appears to be inconsistent, possibly the final blow to my prospects for federal office

duck isnt a thing on the level of pork belly, is my only point

i was just reaching for a food thats "trendy" but not yet a "trend"

i feel so left out of the tableside "guac" trend

yeah i'd never heard of that. do they toss the avocados in the air and then machete them midarc or something?

"Where's dinner?" is my question.

kinda like the idea of a benihana style mexican idea

i had duck confit ravioli just the other day, it was really good

i had macaroons yesterday but i think theyre kinda w/e and really expensive but my friend works at a place that sells them so she gives me a deal and free coffee

i dont really have opinions abt food, other than that i like eating i guess

Really arent macarons just gussied up meringues?

i want canele to start trending. i rarely see them in america.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canel%C3%A9

Trader Joe's carries some in the frozen section, and I think they're pretty good (I'm easy to please, dessert-wise). The review below wasn't as generous.

http://bakingbites.com/2008/09/trader-joes-canneles-de-bordeaux-reviewed/

they look good. i haven't seen those at tj's before, but i try not to spend very much time in their dessert aisle.

theres this italian fruit flan thing that i think is like the best dessert ever but i can never remember what its called but i bet some of the italian bakeries near my place could make one, thatd be p dope actually

i know what you mean; i can't remember the name of it either.

I tried those tj's ones they are not that great

Now the cake "lollipop" thing...that seems like a huge example of cuteness over quality.

yeah these cake lollipops seem to always be really dry and tasteless.

what about those 'cupcakes in a jar' you get in Whole Foods? I do not understand them.

I just read about that the other day for the first time! I think part of the idea is you can see the cake layers so it looks "pretty", plus portion control, and easy to cook in a jar.

I'm not sure how you're meant to eat it tho? Do you use a fork or something.

people try and steal my pizza when I eat it while walking down the street

that is a food trend I hate

kinda feel like the quotes should be attributed to these folks:

http://images.quickblogcast.com/2/4/0/8/2/137047-128042/voices.JPG

Ha! Thought that as soon as I saw the first guy was a "Systems Analyst"!

Paletas are all right, but nieves are where it's at *creates man-hated trend*

i had a cheesecake lollipop at david burke and donatella in 2002, get with the program people

brioche rolls are delicious & fuiud

Arrrrgh hate this angle on kids, too. There is actually a brand of red pasta sauce here with a variety called "Hidden Vegies" FFS.

― Trayce, Thursday, October 20, 2011 4:44 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the thing about many kids is that there's some kind of built-in genetic disgust of green vegetables at a visceral, lizard-brain level, so this is pretty harmless afaict

also cupcakes are an opportunity for prettiness like any pastry! who can't get behind that?

men, duh!

And don’t even think of serving him a gourmet burger.

― omar little, Wednesday, October 19, 2011 7:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

this should go on a Big Dogs shirt

--Connor, hospitality industry ex-pat

this means "unemployed" right?

"Just eat the two teaspoons of white rice and live a little.”

WHOOOO WHITE RICE YEAAHHHH

although i guess REAL MEN are totally okay with sushi these days, so... progress?

Modern cupcakes fucking suck 80% of the time and often are massively disappointing/borderline inedible. This is what happens when everyone simultaneously decides to turn their childhood memories into a price-gouging luxury.

nostlolgia

read connor, hospitality industry ex-pat as immigrated to US, now works in hospitality, tbh

Used to think ex-pat referred to 'no longer properly irish', took longer than you might think for this to be corrected

http://i.imgur.com/rv5oG.jpg

i remember being so confused by that book as a kid all 'why not'

GENDER ROLES

brioche rolls are delicious & fuiud

― elmo argonaut, Thursday, October 20, 2011 7:14 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

Brioche is delicious but it doesn't belong on a gdamn burger!

Patriarchy hurts men too by trekking babby ice cr?m he shouldn't eat quiche. Xp

I don't remember where I was but someone once gave me a hamburger on a croissant. I was saddened in a very buttery way.

also I explicitly started eating quiche when that book came out because even as a kid I despised it when people told me what to do without solicitation

xp - That's fucked up imo.

You know what's even worse? Getting a buttered brioche roll with a burger. I mean, it's bread and therefore delicious and I will eat it but I will not be entirely happy about it.

Worse than getting just a plain brioche roll, I mean. I don't think there's anything worse than a burger on a croissant.

down with burger fascists

always loved that TV ad w/ Terry Bradshaw being served sushi ("Yew forgot ta cook this")

x-post - I prefer purist tyvm.

A burger on a toasted English muffin is magical tho

i dont get whats so bad about a brioche bun? its rich and eggy and buttery? and tastes great with good rich meat?

i actually think a burger on a good freshly-baked croissant would taste pretty good too

it's heavy on heavy, which is gross

They're too sweet for a burger imo. I just prefer classic plain buns!

think about the juiciness of the average burger, then think about what happens to a croissant when it gets wet

And the texture is wrong.

you might as well wrap your burger in a butter-soaked paper towel and call it a day

Putting a burger on a croissant is just...I don't think there's anything worse than a burger on a croissant.
not in any "traditional" way, just like the savory equivalent of two inches cake three inches frosting cupcakes or chocolate cheese fish

A burger on a toasted English muffin is magical tho

― do not wake the dragon (DJP), Thursday, October 20, 2011 10:43 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

english muffin is my new favorite vessel for burgers--stays together without stuffing you full of bread.

it's heavy on heavy, which is gross

― Art Arfons (La Lechera), Thursday, October 20, 2011 10:44 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

so what do you not put cheese or bacon on yr burger either??

sweet things and meat taste good together

theres nothing "wrong" abt texture but thinking makes it so

and a good puffy fresh croissant should be pretty absorbent

i made some beef stock the other day then i cut a croissant in half put some of the meat in there w/mayo and tomato and it was fn magical

oh and some cheese too iirc

can we go back to cupcakes for a second, because I want to point everyone back to this: WRONG CUPCAKES

I hope all the images still work because some of these are just stupid/over-designed/hilarious

yeah well I put burgers on these cracked pepper brioche rolls and god you guys are missing out big time

on top of that, with a good fresh flaky croisant, you are going to get crumbs ALL over you
who needs that

maybe I'll start a restaurant specifically aimed at stupid food ideas

the cornerstone will be a burger on puff pastry

i feel like u guys need to expand yr minds * just a little bit * and a whole new world of flavor & taste will open up to u

i'll put it this way
i would eat it if someone served it to me, but would not order/make it of my own accord

also mac & cheese made with diced lasagna noodles, gorgonzola and Roquefort

DJP that place exists and it is called crazy burger and it is in narragansett. it's also awesome.

for ex. salmon burger w/ pistachio pesto wrapped in phyllo.

does anyone remember a fur commercial from the late 80s (?) with a model-looking dude wearing a big fur coat saying all of this high-class/feminine shit he really liked to do? "i... eat quiche" was one of them. dammit why can't i find this.

for ex. salmon burger w/ pistachio pesto wrapped in phyllo.

hahaha that is incredible

all burgers are beautiful in the eyes of god

Oh, I need to try an English muffin burger.

thought that said "english major burger"

i feel like u guys need to expand yr minds * just a little bit * and a whole new world of flavor & taste will open up to u

― max, Thursday, October 20, 2011 10:52 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

earl grey bruger

Q: is foods with fried or poached egg on top a "food trend" or just delicious?

also btw fuck these dudes hating on sliders, assholes demanding MAN FOOD are the sole reason sliders even exist everywhere.

fwiw i enjoy 'sliders' but hate the name 'sliders' because it sounds gross and also reminds me of jerry oconnell

i think good runny egg yolks on anything is a "food trend" in the same way cooking things in butter is a food trend

sliders is a horrible name sounds like its tryina be cool

Sliders sounds like a brand of condoms from the 70s.

people used condoms in the 70s?

Haha true!

tableside guac -- Tableside caesar is kind of fun. Tableside guac is beyond lame - Oooh, you can mush up avocadoes w/whatever you put in it. Do not need nor want to watch.
Tofu -- Is fuckin' awesome. Sorry you don't understand Asian cooking.
Vegan -- I can't do this all the time but good food is good food.
Brioche burgers -- Meh. Burger is great on a grilled bâtard though. MY favorite is still a kaiser roll
Sliders -- I like mine w/lamb btw
Raw food - see vegan
Endless menu descriptions -- They can't be endless or I wouldn't be writing here, would I? I like a 'serious' restaurant w/a serious staff. I also know perfectly well how to tune out.
Cupcakes -- I refuse to be angry about cupcakes. It's more ridiculous than fawning over them.
Macaroons -- Ladurée or Fauchon? The last one I had, by the estimable Pascal Rigo was a violet/crème de cassis mix and was fantastic

Who the fcuk pays for these articles? What kind of guy cares?

"Honey I read this article today that told me what random trends I'm supposed to hate. Can I borrow your Cosmo and complete my mission to become a total tool?"

i imagine a middle age dad-owner of a retro 50s diner somewhere in the suburbs saying 'youve GOT to try our world famous daddy-o sliders!'

Q: is foods with fried or poached egg on top a "food trend" or just delicious?

― medium rear (silby), Thursday, October 20, 2011 11:00 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i support putting a fried egg on damn near anything

fried egg on a slider w/tableside over explained guacamole

i dont like tableside anything, it makes me uncomfortable

i have had tableside guacamole before, it's ok but no big deal. "hey could you put more cilantro in there" is pretty much the total experience.

i have had ceviche made tableside, though, which i did appreciate because you get to see the seafood in its original state all the way thru final presentation, probably not necessary but i tend to be a little nervous when it comes to raw seafood

also mac & cheese made with diced lasagna noodles, gorgonzola and Roquefort

― do not wake the dragon (DJP), Thursday, 20 October 2011 14:53 (18 minutes ago) Permalink

See, stuff like this is sometimes tasty, but it also bothers me on a couple of levels. (1) Melting really good cheese will kind of kill most of the subtle taste of the cheese -- it's like sauteeing with high-end olive oil -- so it feels like empty pretension. (2) I'm kind of tired of everything coming with high-end mac and cheese or high-end mashed potatoes, b/c (a) it makes me feel cheated and (b) it's super starchy and I don't always want that, especially if I'm also going to drink.

mac n cheese 4 lyfe

mac n cheese with any cheese can be a *dream*

i support putting a fried egg on damn near anything

FE on Ts

mac n cheese with any cheese can be a *dream*

qft. even american cheese! honest!

also some of these trends that these tough guys are hating on are so innocuous-seeming that i feel like i'm reading john rocker's opinions about men wearing earrings, like please take your opinion to 1955.

also i mostly have my burgers on these organic brioche buns i pick up at whole foods. http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/2889/emotcolbert.gif

srsly lets all be cool

idk they probably focus-grouped this listicle, got a buncha reg'lar guys in a room to talk about food trends, what could possibly go wrong?

What I do kind of like about sliders is that they're headed in the opposite direction from monster-sized hamburgers. What is it about America where we think that everything good would be made better by making it bigger? This is how we end up obese. This is how we end up with a food industry that constantly sells us bigger over better.

Paletas cost $1 USD from dudes with carts, y'all. Arroz is the most delicious because it is basically an horchata popsicle.

And cupcakes are like anything else - there are good ones and bad ones. Hating cupcakes because some people sell terrible cupcakes is like hating cappuccino because of those grody gas station cappuccino machines.

Real men eat whatever the fuck they want to

no one is bringing a tray full of grody gas station cappuccino to your dinner party, is the thing

Arroz is the most delicious because it is basically an horchata popsicle.

One of my favorite gelati is riso.

“The ratio of frosting to cake is all off. And you look like a little girl eating them.”

just curious what sort of desserts Richard, lawyer thinks make you look masculine while eating them

going face-first into a trifle, i guess that would be be kinda macho

Having someone hold your tie while you are fed a popsicle tableside

Smashing your way into a creme brulee

punching patta cotta in the face

lol I misread that as "smashing a creme brulee"

And you look feel like a little girl eating them.

haha

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ln7bjsb7Mv1qafo5vo1_500.jpg

motorboating a boob-shaped cake

shotgun a parfait

tonguing a cup of strawberry pudding

fingerbanging flan

hey-that's-not-a-banana split

Smashing your way into a creme brulee

I keep imagining this as a headbutt

Having someone hold your tie while you are fed a popsicle tableside

That reminds me. I was in a Korean BBQ restaurant (an awesome, "authentic" one in MexiKorea) where I saw a couple whose look I always think of as L.A.-trashy (very tan, blond, guy w/ spiky hair, both wearing huge amber sunglasses indoors) sitting on the same side of a booth, being fed by a server who knelt beside them (seating is on the floor). She fed them w/ chopsticks and dabbed their lips. I've been to that place many times and I've never seen that happen before or since. They looked insufferable - they didn't speak, they just sat there ate were fed and cleaned. It was just too fucking much.

waht

And this is OTM

Paletas cost $1 USD from dudes with carts, y'all. Arroz is the most delicious because it is basically an horchata popsicle.

waht

― do not wake the dragon (DJP), Thursday, October 20, 2011 12:35 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I was there for a work Xmas dinner organized by my boss, a Korean-American woman who wanted to show off the restaurant. I asked her if that was a service they offered, and she said absolutely not. I'm guessing they were just showing off what their money could get them.

Counterproductive -- I'd think twice before I'd go back to a restaurant that would debase itself like that for asshole customers.

But I'm not made of money so

but apparently they brought the server in with them...?

from now on i demand to be hand fed at all establishments i patronize

mac n cheese with any cheese can be a *dream*

― omar little, Thursday, October 20, 2011 11:21 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Yep.

Oh I thought they were having one of the restaurant staff feed them.

if someone tried to feed me at a restaurant I would flip the fuck out

if you have to bring yr own dude to hand feed you youre trash in my book

And this is OTM

Paletas cost $1 USD from dudes with carts, y'all. Arroz is the most delicious because it is basically an horchata popsicle.

― Je55e, Thursday, October 20, 2011 12:36 PM (6 minutes ago)

Paleta man has a bell
elote man has a horn

― carne asada, Thursday, September 13, 2007 12:41 PM (4 years ago)

that's some "Robot Chicken Richie Rich character in real life" shit

I asked her if that was a service they offered, and she said absolutely not.

haha like they're gonna tell you, plebe

cutty is going to be so pissed at you guys

The person who was feeding them was an Asian woman who I recall seemed to be one of the restaurant staff. I don't remember if they wore uniforms or if she went to the kitchen or cash register or why I got that impression. I still really hate that couple. It's bad enough that they were having someone feed them, but a couple sitting on the same side of the table is NEVER OK.

that is bananas

if someone tried to feed me at a restaurant I would flip the fuck out
otm

but a couple sitting on the same side of the table is NEVER OK.

What?! Of course it's ok, esp if the restaurant is loud.

It's fine if the table is against the wall and sitting on opposite sides of the table means that one of you has to look at the wall through the whole meal. How are you going to criticize other diners if you do that?

ilx food threads always bring out the weirdest opinions from a group of ppl i regard as mostly normal

I am sad I didn't make my stealth handjob joke before CAD posted that

lol sorry

but a couple sitting on the same side of the table is NEVER OK.

What?! Of course it's ok, esp if the restaurant is loud.

Sorry - I think this is totally weird too. Can you be apart for the duration of a meal? It creeps me out, tbh.

but a couple sitting on the same side of the table is NEVER OK.

― Je55e, Thursday, October 20, 2011 12:54 PM (42 minutes ago) Bookmark

hah I find side-by-side sitting more intimate than directly across - directly across seems more formal

Exactly. It's weirdly intimate for a restaurant and couples who do this also invariably canoodle in ways that are gross for public dining. Keep it at home folks, I'm trying to eat.

Or, if you absolutely cannot leave each others side, sit at the damn bar where sitting side by side is a must.

sitting at the bar would give everyone a clear view of your stealth handjob, tho

oh jeez affection, how nauseating *drops burger*

when i waited tables, i used to fantasize about sitting another couple at the table across from the pair that were sitting on the same side of the bench. i'd imagine making a joke about balancing the restaurant on its axis

Exactly. It's weirdly intimate for a restaurant and couples who do this also invariably canoodle in ways that are gross for public dining. Keep it at home folks, I'm trying to eat.

― Juggy Brottleteen (ENBB), Thursday, October 20, 2011 1:39 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

you mean like sharing a bowl of spaghetti that is made from a single strand of spaghetti

uh, contains a single, long strand of spaghetti - I'm not suggesting the bowl for the spaghetti is itself made of spaghetti because that would be ludicrous!

I'm not talking about a little affection here or there that's totally fine. IME people that want to sit on the same side of the booth are often several martinis deep and wind up coming pretty close to what Dan's describing over the course of their meal. Yes, I've seen this on several occasions both as a server and as a diner. Because of that I associate people sitting on the same side of a booth with weird creepos. Don't blame me, blame them!

If it's a four top the two people can sit wherever. I'm specifically talking about a booth or long table where they sit right next to one another and either wind up just staring out at everyone else or sucking face the whole time.

I'm not suggesting the bowl for the spaghetti is itself made of spaghetti because that would be ludicrous! delicious!

@ dayo, you could serve the pasta in a bread bowl boule like dominos, and then eat that on the way to the ER as the carb overload sent you into insulin-ville

there is a thread on 1p3 for that I believe

PASTA SANDWICH

how do ya'll feel about a hollowed out brioche filled with mashed potato? :?

mash that shit tableside and you've got a deal

I would prob go for tableside mashed potatoes

haha

Last week I had a sandwich from local restaurant Melt called the Parmageddon. It is a grilled cheese sandwich stuffed with potato-and-cheese pierogies.

that could take a while. tableside peeling, boiling, mashing.

xp

tableside food is about the journey

many xps

Never. OK.

when i waited tables, i used to fantasize about sitting another couple at the table across from the pair that were sitting on the same side of the bench. i'd imagine making a joke about balancing the restaurant on its axis

Ha. When I waited tables we joked about using the empty seats, too.

But yeh, from my experience I can say that the accepted opinion by waiters is: NEVER OK. There was a waiter at my last restaurant job who dissented, and his punishment wasn't pretty. (Not really, but he did get teased a lot for having said that he was OK w/ same-side sitting.)

What about saganaki? That's a pretty cool tableside event!

people who enjoy tableside food prep probably get a big kick out of the choo choo train at a hibachi grill

What about saganaki? That's a pretty cool tableside event!

is that like gansha?

also invariably canoodle in ways that are gross for public dining

Canoodling is the problem, not sitting side by side. How can you be so prejudicial about something as innocuous as sitting side by side. What if we're on the banquette and we both want to watch the room? What if it's loud. What if we want to do what the fuck we want and why are you even looking at us at our table and judging us? Watch something else then.

There's the place on LI where the decor is so dated it might as well be a 70s theme restaurant. I don't think anything there has changed since then including the menu which features several items prepared tableside by the owner himself a small little Italian man who takes great pride in his creations and sports the staff uniform of a red velvet jacket and bow tie. It is awesome.

x-post - Nope, not OK.

if the waitstaff gives you the evil eye for sitting side by side in their restaurant, does that mean you don't have to tip them?

;)

Don't get so worked up, MW! I'm obviously exaggerating for effect. While people sitting side by side does bug me and I would never do so myself, people can sit side by side and do whatever they want. I don't actually care that much and wouldn't dwell on it for any longer than a passing "ew".

I thought getting worked up was the point of sitting side by side

^ gets the creepos

Gauche King William III suddenly sees the light and realizes he's seated at the same side of the table right beside his own wife!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_CqPXN1_5w4k/TJm_BbK5nLI/AAAAAAAAAKg/l-rhJFuUQVM/s1600/Weblog+19+-+Banquet+scene.jpg

I never gave same-side-sitters the stinkeye. Sometimes they were very nice, interesting people, in which cases I reluctantly withdrew my blanket judgment of them in favor of a more complex understanding of them as individuals.

To be clear: I am talking about a TWO TOP where both members of the couple sit on the same side.

also: on the same side of a NON-SQUARE table (not at adjacent seats at a square one, for example)

2 ppl on the same side of a 2 top is just impractical!

It's usually easier to dine face to face on a two top, space-wise.

Jesse gets it. It must be a server thing. Working in restaurants you meet a lot of "interesting" people and form some pretty random opinions.

on the same side of a NON-SQUARE table

Triangle? Dodecahedron? Oval? Hipster?

And then project them on innocent diners! xp

Not outwardly!

I have waited tables and I know lots of ppl in the business and I am very, very nice to my waiters even if they think I'm weird.

x-post - Also, I can assure you that the amount of shit that gets projected onto servers is way way more than vice versa in most cases.

I wonder if it is just a waiter thing? It can't be, b/c by far, the majority couples seated in a booth or banquette table sat opposite one another. It's a social norm, which is why it stood out when it was violated.

You know what would have been fucking awesome though, would have been if two suits at a business lunch sat on the same side of a booth table. Never saw it happen. I wish to God I had.

Lotta butthurt sameside diners itt.

suits on one side, the guys who wore them on the other

Ha.

OK, are you ready for a waiter-pinion judgment we can ALL agree on?

go for it

It is a grilled cheese sandwich stuffed with potato-and-cheese pierogies.

OMG

TBH the main reason I've never done it is because I like to look at people when I talk to them. Sitting side by side sort of prohibits that and craning your necks to look at one another while eating is sort of uncomfortable.

x-post - LOL I have the pierogi grilled cheese thing on my clipboard right now because that's the most awesome thing I've ever heard of.

OK, are you ready for a waiter-pinion judgment we can ALL agree on?

― Je55e, Thursday, October 20, 2011 2:25 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

WAITING

I feel like a "Food Trends Men Love" listicle would just be the word "Bacon" in 72 pt font

If y'all are ever in Cleveland or nearby I promise to take you to Melt. Pierogi grilled cheese is like among the LEAST amazing things they do: meltbarandgrilled.com/menu/ . Their sandwich of the month for November is "Mom's Meatloaf Melt: Meatloaf Melt -- A huge slab of homemade meatloaf smothered in a chipotle ketchup glaze with roasted garlic mashed redskin potatoes and muenster cheese. Vegetarian and vegan versions available."

The last restaurant where I worked was an upscale seafood restaurant w/ a clientele of many business people. One night one of two guys (sitting on opposite sides of a booth) on a business dinner drew charts and notes in pen on the white tablecloth. All over the fucking place. His server kept her mouth shut, and he never acted like he was doing anything weird. The manager decided to just let it slide. He was a wimp, but OTOH, those tablecloths cost nothing.

Let us judge that man.

Oh, no way.

I would have politely offered to get him some paper. That's just . . . woah.

BRB, going to Cleveland.

Sitting on same side of a two-top or maybe let's say a 4-top but you're the only two people at it...is kinda weird, manners-wise? There's a big break here between "there are plenty of good hypothetical reasons to do it" and...TRADITION! I mean tradition is behind p much every single aspect of dining out in some way, right? Silverware rules, place-settings, deportment, blah blah ilx loves this shit and so do I so I know we've done it 100x. Sitting opposite your dining companion is just one of those things.

Also trad, men are supposed to seat the lady facing the room so that a) she gets the favor of having more interesting things to see, whereas looking at HER is supposed to be entertaining enough for the gent, and b) the gent is in the position to be jostled by waitstaff or strangers, if any jostling is going to happen.

you are all insane

I guess among other things it must date back to when it would have been improper to be seated close enough to touch each oth in public. If you were a courting couple, it would have been a scandal, and if you were married, you should do yr romanting within the 4 walls of your own home.

is that like the thing where a woman should walk on the inside of a sidewalk in case a horse goes insane and starts trampling everyone

Or in case anyone dumps a chamber pot out the window? Yes.

I always walk on the inside because I'm afraid of a car jumping the curb and hitting me or getting shot. Yes, I am insane. I never knew the thing about the horse. I'm such a lady. lol.

the lady should properly have the seat facing the room, so if an armed gunman enters the restaurant she has the advantage of a few seconds to shriek wildly

ilx = deadwood

x-post - nb I'm not afraid of those things anymore but I was a weird kid and was at one point. It's just habit now.

she has the advantage of a few seconds to shriek wildly

Shriek all you like, I'll be under the table.

;)

I was going to go for the "depending on whether I was already there" joke but it really only works for Dorothy Parker, a modern girl just can't compete.

Thanks to this thread, I will never feel comfortable eating out with my puppet wife again :(

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/78/Wayland_Flowers_and_Madame.jpg

l-r: NickB, wife

Also trad, men are supposed to seat the lady facing the room so that a) she gets the favor of having more interesting things to see, whereas looking at HER is supposed to be entertaining enough for the gent

i didn't know this was a thing but i'm glad it is because yes this is totally an issue, i mean the gender thing aside i hate facing the wall in restaurants and so i usually offer the room-facing seat to the person i'm with just because i assume they hate it too. although i have frequently been out with people (not as a couple) and made a really conscious "actually you know what you are not all that important to me" decision and taken the interesting seat.

ideally though one person faces a window and the other the room.

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/articles/article/12407/KellyFoodCoops_jpg_630x1200_upscale_q85.jpg

I think THUFIR HAWAT tells PAUL that he should always sit facing the door in case an ARMED ASSASSIN pops in for a bagel

Also every warrior figure in every genre novel ever.

the sad truth: I'm not sure that I've ever had brioche (I wouldn't know b/c I don't know what it is), least of all on a burger.

proprietary sliders and locally sourced breakfast meats

DO you guys have communal tables in restaurants/cafes in the US, or is it just an Aus thing and it wouldf make american brains explode?

you mean where you share a table with strangers?

pretty sure it would make our brains explode

That happens at some family style restaurants and at places like Wagamama but it's not very common.

It seems to be a trending thing here esp for breakfast/brunch which is a big deal in Melb, everyone staggers to cafes 11am-3pm to eat overpriced eggs and toast.

One thing, its a nice way to be able to dine alone and not feel like a chump, that said!

i love communal tables, p rare tho 4 sure

yeah communal tables are cool

i can think of a bunch of l.a. restaurants that have communal tables. doesn't bother me at all; it's a good way to get a seat as a solo diner when all the two-tops are taken. nobody tries to talk to anyone; they just eat.

Yeah, I like them.

yeah, i'm all for them. one of my favorite restaurants i've ever eaten at has communal-style seating

also this might be because i haven't gone out to eat very much lately but i have never even heard of tableside guac before this thread

I'm tryin to not look anybody in the eye when I'm eatin my pizza pie

feel like family style is an emerging food trend

Communal tables, like long tables where discrete parties can sit next to each other, aren't the norm but they are a trend in certain types of restaurants. I am v v American in my hated of them. (Last time I ate at a communal table, we were seated next to an insurance actuary who really wanted to talk about his job zzzzzzzzz.)

In urban areas at least, it's okay to sit at a table occupied by other people in a cafe type place or a counter service restaurant. That I don't mind at all.

http://i.imgur.com/VX26A.png

xp

yeah if I am eating just for 'sustenance' I don't want to talk to anybody but if I am dining out as a 'social event' and to 'fulfill my social obligation to society' then a family feed bag is okay

There's a burger place in Tupelo that has long communal tables in the middle of the dining room. I kind of like them, but the bench seating is a little uncomfortable so we always go for a booth when we're there. But the food has been so bad the last few times we went that it's a moot point now.

what abt a steak place called 'moo point'

would close within two weeks

I proofread a paper about communal tables for someone doing a food policy degree a few years back. Was a "thing" in locavore-type circles especially, iirc?

Communal tables don't really bother me. I've been to tiny storefront restaurants with separate tables where I've felt closer to my fellow diners than I have at Urban Belly or the Publican.

― jaymc, Wednesday, August 24, 2011 3:25 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

communal tables are when i speak russian.

Ha, yeah we have had this conversation on the Chicago thread a whole lot.

Was a "thing" in locavore-type circles especially, iirc?

The places around here that do the communal tables tend to be into locally sourced meats, french fries served in paper cones, thoughtful craft beer menus, that kind of thing.

xp - Café Gratitude (SF & Berkeley) locations do the communal table thing; and a few other places, in the Bay Area that are locavorian-type spots that M. White is prob more familiar w/than me.

I eat at communal tables in France pretty often but not in the USA but maybe that's because my family is pretty big & we need most of a table for ourselves alone.

voted macarons btw b/c they're awesome & the numbnuts who knocks them in the op is the numbnutsiest of them all

In Austin, TX, the kinds of places with communal tables are burger and BBQ joints that want to simulate a kind of family picnic experience. Examples include Mighty Fine Burgers and Salt Lick BBQ.

Also, you always find this at Japanese Steakhouses anywhere in the US.

salt lick is transcendent

I was going to say...that NAME alone.

Salt Lick is one of my all-time favorite restaurants.

Another peeve: any LA restaurant with the words "sugar" or "rock" in the name.

also "snow" and "powder"?

I love salt licks!!!!

Smitty's Market in Lockhart

http://www.smittysmarket.com/images/e.jpg

that's exactly what I'm talking about. I still haven't been to Lockhart even though I've lived in Austin 11 years. Gotta get out there soon!

you mean where you share a table with strangers?

There are more and more of these in SF

Another peeve: any LA restaurant with the words "sugar" or "rock" in the name.

you mean like "rock sugar"?

http://www.rocksugarpanasiankitchen.com/

That's one.

i'm sure the sushi at sugarfish is great (and probably more affordable than the izakaya at nozawa, his other joint) but the name is a dealbreaker.

i meant omakase, not izakaya. (sorry, bad back making thinking cloudy today.)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

I hate how hazelnuts crop up in chocolatey desserts all the time with no warning, I am allergic to hazelnuts.

voted: Macarons (French macaroons) <-- best food, biggest a-hole

Going back to a digression, this couple sat next to me and a friend

http://i.imgur.com/hjulv.jpg

They stayed that way through an appetizer and part way through eating their tacos (Korean tacos w/ kim chee fries, thus the chopstick), then gave up. She went back to the other side after they ate, so I assume she moved b/c it was too cramped to try to fit all the food on one side of the table.

http://i.imgur.com/F1Y6b.jpg

Anyway, I think the 1st arrangement looks absurd.

this "news" story made me think of this thread: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/26/dining/sweets-small-enough-to-satisfy.html?_r=1&ref=dining

tbf they look pretty absuuuuurd

I don't see what the big deal is about that tbh

sometimes couples like to sit next to each other

you'd think a guy wearing a Confederate hat might think to take it off inside, so as not to offend the belles, especially his girlfriend vincent van gogh

take your hats off indoors you damn heathens

lol i didn't even read the posts after

I have sat next to my wife in restaurants on occasion. I think it's a little weird in a proper restaurant, but in a little eatery like that it seems fine.

sometimes u need to sit next to someone and be near them all the time dont u guys understand romance jeez

my wife doesn't like this ^ seating arrangement - "dont you want to look at me?"

i voted for tofu because as a manly man with manly appetites i'm fine w/ pretty much all of these things except vegetarians convincing themselves tofu is a suitable meat substitute instead of just enjoying all the non-meat-like things that are available to them

tofu is a good food totally its own thing!

some dude more like soy dude

Yeah, that's weird -- I understand the hate for jazzed-up faux-meats, but tofu is a common foodstuff in Asian cuisine, not just for vegetarians only.

tofu is mostly hated in this country because of shitty vegan communal hippie cooking that we tend to have in college as our first experience of it

I hate vegan in general because I love meat and cow rights activists are stupid

you'd think a guy wearing a Confederate hat

Pretty sure that's not a kepi.

Tofu/=meat substitute but it can be awesomely delicious and I am an inveterate carnivore.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

is it too late to get in on this?

tableside guac - tableside anything is so old-fashioned that i feel like it's gonna get trendy again. would love to have a tableside caesar salad someday
tofu - just an ingredient, can be great or bad like anything else
vegan - as a descriptor, fine, as a "cuisine," generally fuckin disgusting
fancy rolls with burgers - brioche no, but a couple of my favourite restaurants bake their own hamburger buns and they are fucking delicious. not fancy so much as fresh
sliders - these are small burgers
raw food - stupid
sushi with brown rice - stupid
endless menu descriptions - have never actually encountered this tbh
cupcakes - you'd have to be a bit of a sad sack to actively hate cupcakes ffs
macarons - awesome when done right, as a trend, kind of weird

its a little weird when couples sit on the same side of the table at restaurants but not really as weird as taking photographs of strangers at restaurants

unless you can make money off of it in some way

is there a market for photographs of strangers eating at restaurants?

getty image wire?

I mean if you're on a cruise ship the photographer sometimes cruises around during mealtimes to take table-photos of you with I dunno one of the variety show dancers or the captain or whatever the shit

i'm too poor to eat in restaurants anyway so i have no idea how i'd monetize this idea

So I guess you have to get the cruise ship photographer job before you can do that so maybe just be a pretend cruise ship photographer in normal restaurants, bring a guy dressed up like a sailor, ask ppl "want your picture taken with the captain?"

just sit there and take pictures! xpost

Someone must have been paid for these pictures -

http://insidescoopsf.sfgate.com/blog/2011/10/13/texting-in-restaurants-is-%E2%80%9Cpretty-dismal%E2%80%9D/#1370-3

ask for water. "with lemon"

charge $10 for a printout in a tasteful cardboard portfolio frame. Split it 50-50 with the fake captain.

tofu is mostly hated in this country because of shitty vegan communal hippie cooking that we tend to have in college as our first experience of it

― pass the duchy pon the left hand side (musical duke) (Hurting 2), Thursday, October 27, 2011 6:33 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

yeah that's what i was saying really -- i'm sure it has good uses but my exposure to it is mostly that

haha 'i'm sure it has good uses', like you've never eaten at a chinese restaurant?

file this under ilx poll results that provide no insight whatsoever

I think it was more of an excuse to make fun of 'men'

well i know that but i still spend that minute looking at the results and going "huh....."

I hate menu descriptions, since half the time they're false (at least if you're eating seafood)

So I guess you have to get the cruise ship photographer job before you can do that so maybe just be a pretend cruise ship photographer in normal restaurants, bring a guy dressed up like a sailor, ask ppl "want your picture taken with the captain?"

at the long john silver's at the mall

yes

I felt was OK w/ taking pictures of those strangers b/c they created a zone where social norms no longer applied.

i had awesome tableside guac pretty rece and i thought of system analyst ken's inability to enjoy it.

he was def the type of guy who was going to be an sa forever