In every Oscar-bait "independent" film ever

1) Intensely dramatic and/or noisy and/or violent scene quick cuts to characters eating around a table in silence

2) rocky, desolate shores

2a) accompanied by a stark soundtrack of a lone cello playing harmonically ambiguous melodies

3) Actor known exclusively for goofball comedy turns in "surprise of the year" performance by just acting normally for once

4) extremely quiet "unglamorously realistic" sex scene

5) superfluous American minor characters given a more prominent role to make "foreign" story more palatable to US audiences

6) Terrible endings

7) Lonely guy just thinking baout things

8) 20 minutes without anyone speaking

9) hardcore anal

10) tumblrable content

11. wry voiceover

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Efygv-ZMfs

12) adult-son faceoff with elderly dad (Nolte, Duvall).

12. Soundtrack of honest, meaningful soft indie

14) chapters

lol i missed the "independent" part

15) schlubby dude having sex with much hotter actress

16) Mark Ruffalo

sorry xpost

17) the actors are humbly grateful to have had the opportunity to tell this important story.

18) One of the actors will be cast in an X-Men movie.

19)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4uv0eD5Ufg

20) special needs child

21) red carpet gaucheness from its rumpled faux-bemused auteurs if the academy takes the bait.

22) Max Richter

23) Lead actor grows facial hair for added "authenticity/genuineness".

24) shitty british theatre director tries to do an art film

25) It's about "The Way We Live Now".

26) i can't tell if this thing is supposed to be set in 1988 or 2009 or what from the way these people are dressed or from the decor or the soundtrack there's too many references to other things oh wait there's an ipod.

27) (related to #3) Performer most famous for work on sitcoms gets a chance to "Stretch Out".

28) Unintentionally condescending view of "working people"

29)drifting-through-life protagonist finds kindred soul who is drifting in more or less the same direction; you don't really get any resolution to any of your real problems but at least you're not completely alone so that's something.

30) "You only have to be who you are."

(this time from Albert Nobbs)

31) Lead actress grows facial hair for added "authenticity/genuineness".

32) train

33) rain

34) One character has an early to mid 60s American car (but not a cool one like Mustang, etc) in pretty good condition.

35) A proper composed score is replaced with a cringe-inducing selection of the director's favourite indie rock tunes and/or fluffy 1960s pop songs.

36) main character is a writer

37) camera operator drank too much coffee

38) endless scenes around dinner tables/diners

39) bookstores

40) Tilda Swinton and/or Paul Giamatti

41) A philosophical-lite conversation in a car, at night

42) Cheap desert locations

43) Social commentary as weak as dilute tea, generally about the failure of institutions

44) climactic scene with one central character erupting in angry, tearful breakdown, with the next scene jumping forward to the next day without showing you how the other characters react in that moment

45) wise beyond their years pre-adolescent who offers the directionles main character surprisingly prescient advice on love and life

46) dolly shot of an empty hallway

47) soundtrack by new "indie" artist

48 expectation defying

49 Has anyone mentioned flashbacks between present day bookends?

(Phew, how nice to post on ILX again after all those weeks ... the dam has been broken!)

50. Artfully desaturated stock, and/or 8mm footage

51. Quirky, hand-written intertitles

52. In the leading male roles, prominent actors with extensive back catalogs; in the leading female role, a little-known actress who was born in a non-United States country, playing an American

53)...and will get an Oscar nomination

54. almost no explosions

55. somebody unexpected smoking pot

56. sweaty furrowed brows

54. almost no explosions

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, January 3, 2012 12:24 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is really the heart of the problem

tasteful marimba/lonely piano on the sdtk

er. 55.

56. adoption as plot mechanic

wait, numbers got screwed up -- last two should be 57, 58

59. montage shots of main character looking out of a window

60. clouds, drizzle

61. rueful meditation on childhood trauma by people wearing carefully curated out-of-fashion clothing

62 dispair

61b. painful memories that must be come to terms with, and ultimately triumphed over

63 ennui

Be honest, most ppl on this thread are thinking about 'Little Miss Sunshine'.

64. (to borrow from the every NYer story ever thread) Anhedonia

65. close-up shots of main character's knickknacks

66. Incongruous musical/dance number.

67 depression

68 weird children

69. a child that is wise beyond their years

oh snaps lagoon

70. a selection of tasteful b-sides, courtesy mark mothersbaugh

71. the 'freak dance'

72 alienation

73. Videographer family member(does not apply to The King's Speech).

74. incongruous gun violence

73. there's a whole sub-category for 'ethic' indie comedies a la my big fat greek wedding, and they all have a noisy dinner table sequence with a meddling mother, a clueless old-country father, a eulogy to a missing grandparent/parent/sibling in the old country.

45) wise beyond their years pre-adolescent who offers the directionles main character surprisingly prescient advice on love and life

wise kids already covered upthread

76. complete lack of fart jokes

well we've also essentially had "indie rock soundtrack" about four times

77 numbness

78. Open road = freedom

79. Airport dropoff zone = goodbye

80. crazy character who SEES ALL

81. No talking, scraping silverware against bowls/plates = parents don't understand teen

82) Kidults bumblingly confront a modicum of responsibility

83. unsexy nudity

81. vomiting

85. death of a pet

82. main character's most stable/meaningful relationship is with an animal/pet

oh fuck you

86 lyrical ennui

87. "clever" talky dialogue representing contemporary vernacular fetishes

88. deceased relative's ashes carried around (and perhaps talked to as if a living person) throughout the film, possibly culminating with someone accidentally inhaling or ingesting the ashes if the film has an 'edgy sense of humor'

some dude i was wondering when you'd show up

89. incest

i showed up in the first 10 minutes of the thread being started!

90. buscemi (1992-2006)

91. metaphor involving comic book characters

88. deceased relative's ashes carried around (and perhaps talked to as if a living person) throughout the film, possibly culminating with someone accidentally inhaling or ingesting the ashes if the film has an 'edgy sense of humor'

― some dude, Tuesday, January 3, 2012 12:58 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Someone needs to put together a montage of this (see also sneezing, accidentally dispersing against the wind, spilling, vaccuuming/sweeping)

yeah nothing would make me happier than the filmmakers of the world being shamed out of ever prominently featuring cremated remains in a movie ever again

92. A man's desire to screw a woman who is not his wife is depicted as a strike against repression and for the human spirit (see also: "In every 'literary' novel ever").

yeah nothing would make me happier than the filmmakers of the world being shamed out of ever prominently featuring cremated remains in a movie ever again

― some dude, Tuesday, January 3, 2012 11:01 AM (1 hour ago)

don't tell dave eggers

93. Eccentric old fucker whose behaviour loosens up all the uptight young 'uns.

possibly culminating with someone accidentally inhaling or ingesting the ashes

I think Mel Brooks used this in Life Stinks.

maybe you guys should stop seeing "indie" films.

94. Awkward barbecue sequence.

maybe you guys should stop seeing "indie" films.

After the literary fiction thread I killed my 'scripts to Harpers, New Yorker, and Glimmer Train. Fingers crossed this'll help me in the same way

95. character who uses swear words in totally nonsensical ways ("go count your dick!" or "suck a fuck!")

96. premier "washed up actor" has extended scene with young upstart actor. glowing "passing of torch" articles written.

97. So cynical, but no mention of Nazis?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEnjiGwVw6o

I think you should include post-Nazi atrocities, given the new Jolie-directed film

97. So cynical, but no mention of Nazis?

Holocaustsploitation is also an overused tool of "mainstream" moviemaking.

I can't even think of any recent independent films about the nazis/Holocaust, that is much more a mainstream thing - maybe that Forman flick?

98. Scene in which something that's normally benign is performed by one character in such a way as to symbolize the conflict in the film. E.g. chopping vegetables for a salad in an angry, forcefull way.

xpost How are we defining independent here? Because, yes, Winslet won the Oscar for a Holocaust-linked indie, like, two years ago or something, for "The Reader."

the Weinsteins are indie?

maybe I just dunno what an independent film is

99. reaction shots that just

linger

for a long

time

For sure, long, static takes with no dialogue. Also, whole sequences with no camera movement. And no close ups.

Yeah I don't really think of them as quite fitting the category. But I put independent in scare quotes because I was going more for films that are marketed as small, against-the-grain films than films that actually are made independently of hollywood (a fuzzy concept anyway).

Yeah, if you're talking Oscar bait indie and you're not talking imprints like Miramax or Fox Searchlight, I guess I have no idea what we're talking about. When was the last truly indie pic, with no major distribution, to even get a foot in the Oscar door?

Let alone dangle itself as bait?

100. Self-explotation of aging actor or actress offering themselves up as ruins of their former selves.

101. Lens flare

102) A young actress/actor whose performance gets them billed "The Next Big Thing", thus leading to a career of shitty romcoms and action films.

103) former model and/or mousketeer wears thrift shop clothes and broods, makes transition from 'sex symbol' to 'sex symbol for stereogum readers'

"go count your dick!"

lol

smash cut to black and end titles after minute-long static shot of leaves rustling in wind

104. woman cries in middle of a long take so you know the tears are real
105. royals
106. tinting

107. An old pickup truck

108. bakery

109.hipster/s

110) Someone eats pie.

111. influence/stealing ideas from classic directors/films

Um, isn't that all films ever?

"A 2 min tracking shot? What a hack!"

78. Open road = freedom

― Cheap desert locations (Eazy), Tuesday, 3 January 2012 17:49 (Yesterday) Permalink

79. Airport dropoff zone = goodbye

― Cheap desert locations (Eazy),

eazy not sure if you've been on the open road or at an airport drop-off zone but this is like saying drinking water = thirsty

possibly culminating with someone accidentally inhaling or ingesting the ashes

I think Mel Brooks used this in Life Stinks.

Life Stinks had the "throwing the ashes to the wind, wind blowing it back to your face" gag, which the Coen brothers later on nicked for Big Lebowski.

i love how much tuomas loves the lesser oeuvre of mel brooks

>100. Self-explotation of aging actor or actress offering themselves up as ruins of their former selves.

I don't think Buffalo '66 or The Brown Bunny could be regarded as Oscar-bait, but Gallo managed a devastating one-two from Jan- Michael Vincent and Cheryl Tiegs respectively in this regard.

Tracer, have you actually seen Life Stinks? IMO it's not "lesser", but possibly his finest movie, just slept on.

haha this is what i mean!! i love how you fight for these movies

i have seen it, but not in a long time (and i don't remember anything about it)

113) A spot on Armond's "Better Than" opposite some semi-related studio action or comedy.

Sundance Trailer: ‘I Am Not A Hipster’
By THE DEADLINE TEAM | Wednesday January 18, 2012 @ 6:20pm PST
Tags: Destin Daniel Cretton, Dominic Bogart, I Am Not A Hipster
Directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, I Am Not A Hipster is a portrait of a misanthropic young singer-songwriter forced to take a hard look at himself when his father and three sisters show up unannounced and ready to spread his mother’s ashes. Dominic Bogart stars. The movie premieres Friday in Sundance’s Next sidebar program dedicated to promising filmmakers.

114. Solsbury Hill

115. Crappily animated opening/end titles.

116. maya rudolph

Sundance Trailer: ‘I Am Not A Hipster’
By THE DEADLINE TEAM | Wednesday January 18, 2012 @ 6:20pm PST
Tags: Destin Daniel Cretton, Dominic Bogart, I Am Not A Hipster
Directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, I Am Not A Hipster is a portrait of a misanthropic young singer-songwriter forced to take a hard look at himself when his father and three sisters show up unannounced and ready to spread his mother’s ashes. Dominic Bogart stars. The movie premieres Friday in Sundance’s Next sidebar program dedicated to promising filmmakers.

― do you not like slouching? (Eazy), Wednesday, January 18, 2012 10:10 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There's that old Chekhov line about how if there's an urn on the stage in the first act...

117) Actress "stretches out" by playing scene in a camisole.

118. Businessman has second thoughts about pillaging a small town's natural resources.

119. American suburbia is not a land of sunshine, lollipops, rainbows: everything is not wonderful when we're together doop doop de doop.'

giving the mic to David Bordwell:

More surprisingly, the daring indie film often trades on the same clichés that haunt program pictures and prestige items. Sunny small towns harbor nasty secrets, manicured suburbs conceal rot, sex is degrading and only an excuse for power plays, rural folk are racist peckerwoods, corporations grind your soul, siblings vie for parental approval, serving in the military makes you a hairtrigger bully, high school is hell, and so is grade school.

120. pregnant woman gives birth at the end

121. directed by P T Anderson

giving the mic to David Bordwell:

More surprisingly, the daring indie film often trades on the same clichés that haunt program pictures and prestige items. Sunny small towns harbor nasty secrets, manicured suburbs conceal rot, sex is degrading and only an excuse for power plays, rural folk are racist peckerwoods, corporations grind your soul, siblings vie for parental approval, serving in the military makes you a hairtrigger bully, high school is hell, and so is grade school.

― Cunga, Wednesday, December 26, 2012 3:31 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This pretty much sums up the frustration I felt after seeing Silver Linings Playbook (and all of the preceeding trailers, one of which was clearly the inspiration for your #119)

122. A plucky lower-class woman fights her way into a workplace (or other milieu) where she and "her type" are unwelcome.

123. Incest

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120105152330/arresteddevelopment/images/b/b4/Les_Cousins_Dangereaux_-_full.jpg

124. Somebody jerking it.

125. A tracking shot following the protagonist into a crowded and uptight family dining room. You see the character's back in the foreground and everyone else's uptight reaction to his appearance in the background.

126. Wood panelling
127. Unusual pets

128. Some Harvey Weinstein type character in the background, bullying Guardian film critics into giving positive reviews.

129. (In films set in contemporary times) Writers exclusively use typewriters.
[Can you even buy typewriter ribbons these days?]

130.
Family shot through front windshield:

http://www.winonlyriders.net/thelostforum/cinema/LittleMissSunshine1.jpg

131.
Greasy spoon.

http://www.winonlyriders.net/thelostforum/cinema/LittleMissSunshine2.jpg

132.
http://www.beyondhollywood.com/posterx/unknown2.jpg

133 someone stares at him or herself in the bathroom mirror. the perspective of the shot may be through the mirror itself or from behind the character, who then turns on the sink, cups water into hands and splashes it into face.

134. Super hot actor/actress wearing oversized thick rimmed glasses.