things you're secretly kinda fascisty about

feel like most of us are not so secret w/ this but let's see

I think racists should be killed.

modding

Hating comma splices, adding "up" to verbs, and drivers who go 25 mph in the left lane.

Everything that annoys me, which is everything.

parades

schools should be federally funded so that they all have equal resources. i guess you can't stop rich people from privately contributing to schools in wealthy neighborhoods OR CAN YOU

otm

private schools should be made illegal

I think people who disparage education and achievement should never be allowed any type of employment or profession above menial unskilled labor.

oxford comma

fascism

if you have a 'politically incorrect' view of lincoln or the civil war i am going to sing the battle hymn of the republic and shell your house to the ground

People who abuse or molest their children should be sterilized.

i have a lot of feelings about racial and economic integration in schools but i can't figure out whether that should be done at the school level or at the housing level first

lol goole otm i have a lot of feelings about lincoln too

pros:
public education
Star Trek

cons:
advertising
Star Wars

I actually kind of get bored by parades, but I wouldn't mind sitting up on a dias with a shotgun and every time I fired off around the people in parade would have to cheer and throw their hats in the air. Then I would sell their hats in ebay.

I'm fine w/ all parades being made illegal

they are pointless

Comprehensive evidence based sex-ed should be mandatory in each and every school in this country starting at the elementary level.

otm

i love this thread!

(i meant to hyphnate evidence-based and not sex ed - oops)

everyone on this thread otm

guns and cars should be banned forever

automatic tickets for any speeding

students who goof off in the classroom should be expelled immediately

Alfred OTM re: comma splices.

Not bothering to fix smartphone typos -- I want to take your phone away from you and drop it in raw sewage.

modding

― beware of greeks bearing petrol bombs (darraghmac), Monday, February 13, 2012 11:53 AM

Meaning you approve of heavyhandedness? I like this!

People who abuse or molest their children should be sterilized put down.

― wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, February 13, 2012 12:57 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

don't be so obv max, everyone in the world knows that guns and cars should be banned forever

there is a moment in dr. horrible's sing-along blog (shut up) where neil patrick harris, the villain, says "the world is a mess and i just need to...rule it" and rarely have i so fully identified with a television character.

sing along blogs

I could make a long long list of health care related ones but abortion should be covered under all insurance plans regardless of reason or number or anything tbh.

OTM

come on the point of these threads is challops don't go for the easy stuff

oh okay. i was thinking forced economic and racial integration at the housing level could be carried out alongside a program to move people back into city centers from the suburbs /pandering

again, you would have to be insane to not agree w/ that

whoever said due dates in libraries in the other thread, otm

it's hard because what's challops in american political discourse vs. what's challops on ilx, you know?

lol xp to iatee

PIZZA

CAPITALISM

talking on cellphone while driving should be illegal and equivalent to a dui

democracy is dumb, you should lose voting points for every dollar u earn (start off with 1 million points, millionaires get no points, children get 1 mil points cos they have no money etc)

pizza otm

I secretly yearn for the imprisonment of my political enemies, in a facility where they could enjoy the benefits of publically provided health care, nutritious food, free educational opportunities and easy listening music piped into their well-appointed cells.

whoa

xp to m bison's next-level proposal

winning vote totals are like...spongebob 1 trillion pts, tupac 1.1 trillion pts, barbara bush 3 pts

2nd-4th grades in the USA should be entirely taught in languages besides English

wow m bison just solved all of our problems

sure u can practice your religion every day if every day u want to be forced to eat dog shit, the choice is yours!

I'm pretty fascity about things related to pregnancy and birth that may not seem controversial here but are considered surprisingly "crazy" to a lot of people outside certain circles.

haha euler otm

i know i am still absorbing it

xxp

Everything at work has to be made with a welder to the acompanyment of the a-team soundtrack. EVERYTHING

"Oh shit, we're out of highlighters." Da-da-da *click, whooosh* da-da-da-da-daaa

i now see what this thread is about but i am not about to divulge my secret fascist fantasies.

there should be an enforced sterilization program on the bottom 5% and the top 5% of the population as ranked economically; you are in one fell swoop removing the people who cannot achieve and the people who achieve primarily via gross cheating and exploitation from the gene pool

Men can't wear ratty flip-flops at amusement parks.

I held back on making this cause secret libertarian fantasies are a lot more shameful than secret fascist fantasies

ban advertising everywhere on tv on billboards all of it

this thread could be interesting if its not interpreted as lol minor irritation couched in hyperbolic language lol like that tedious disgusting savages thread

come on the point of these threads is challops don't go for the easy stuff

― iatee, Monday, February 13, 2012 6:02 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Okay, fine: Free speech is overrated and I would like to be the fascist in charge of what is and isn't okay. Step one: burn reddit to the ground. Step two: send dog-whistle racist/misogynist politicians to gulags in the fetid swamps of southern Florida.

Ok, I'm honestly very serious about environmental regulations and companies being strong-armed into cleaning up after themselves and would be a total dictator about it.

But since I'm sure most everyone agrees with that, my contribution to our new fascist ilxorland would be enforced American (& state) flag display. Flags are pretty fascist right? I fucking love flags and now you're gonna fly 'em!

Step three: that "girls gone wild" guy publicly pilloried.*

*I don't even know if he's done anything horrible lately. I am just holding a grudge.

is anyone against flag burning?

Step two: send dog-whistle racist/misogynist politicians to gulags in the fetid swamps of southern Florida.

I thought you liked me!!

Serial rapists should be castrated.

is anyone against flag burning?

John Paul Stevens

is he reading this thread

xx-post publicly

kinda fascisty about drunk driving. i think more people should get their licenses revoked FOREVER for drunk driving. maybe a two strike rule. though if you hurt anyone at all with your car a one strike rule.

yeah, Jenny, that's the main way i'm fascist once we get past economic/housing/education policy. but i haven't really figured out what exactly should be done. the american libertarian tradition wrt speech is hard for me to think outside of. it's like i have a huge confused jumble of thoughts about hate speech, etc.

only one child per couple allowed and only if that couple passes a child-rearing assessment.

a tax on tv and movies that funds libraries and small publishing companies

Totally agree with Scott.

Yeah Scott otm.

I have no idea how drunk driving laws are so lenient that people can get busted for it multiple times.

Matt P not far off it with the one kid and child rearing test thing either tbh.

because if they weren't nobody would be able to drink alcohol because there is no other way to get from place a to place b in america

xp to Alfred: Everybody has to make sacrifices under my new world order.

xp to horseshoe: If law school did anything for me, it showed me how very constructed our approach to speech is. Useful to ideologically justify my fascist regime.

Although I wouldn't necessarily say one. I'd cap it at 2 or maybe 3.

no more blogs ever

a slap across the face for anyone who makes a sports metaphor in public or writing.

all religious organizations should be illegal.

yeah drunk driving laws are like... the source of the problem is not people deciding to drink and drive, its that cars are legal and encouraged

Now your'e getting into the spirit, Alfred!

lol Alfred

sidewalk bicyclists

smokers near me

iatee otm about the 15,000 miles between your home and the nearest Applebee's.

xkcd

the science communicator

stringent taxes on the owners of Hooters and other sports bars.

xkcd

― caek, Monday, February 13, 2012 1:19 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what does this mean??

See, I would say all conversations/written pieces must contain at least two sports metaphors; fewer wouldn't be cricket, and more than that would be like a 2-point conversion when you're already up by 20.

I specifically moved to my apt to be 15,000 miles to applebee's tbf, it took a lot of planning

I don't care about privacy that much. Convenience is more awesome.

PARALLEL PARKING

I get to tell you how to raise yer fuckin' kid. Well, me, and this panel of people who've actually studied it and tested shit for decades.

public education funding

taxation & revenue structures to be rejiggered on a per-state basis, and revenue enforcement weighted towards to the top

contraception and sex-ed properly integrated at all levels

funding of development and research with patentable yet open-sourced results

mandatory voting

semi-regular preventative health check-ups with no co-pay

animal cruelty now a felony

grants, subsidies, and low-cost incubator loans & funding for small private ventures

what does this mean??

― horseshoe, Monday, February 13, 2012 1:19 PM (17 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

xkcd vs. MATT

I think every single person should be forced to work either in a restaurant or in retail for at least a year and preferably when they're a teenager.

I don't care about privacy that much. Convenience is more awesome.

haha now we're getting into challops zone, otmish

i know but i think caek should have been more specifc about what he plans to do with xkcd as grand supreme ruler

xxp

i just wish most people couldnt have opinions about things

contraception and sex-ed properly integrated at all levels

this raises so many uncomfortable questions

National Anthem replaced with "Yakety Sax."

Mandatory cargo shorts/flip flops for anyone who bitches about cargo shorts/flip flops.

People who abuse or molest their children should be sterilized.

― wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, February 13, 2012 12:57 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah don't agree with this

looooool Lamp

See, I would say all conversations/written pieces must contain at least two sports metaphors; fewer wouldn't be cricket, and more than that would be like a 2-point conversion when you're already up by 20.

I see you're one of the happier products of elementary schools that taught you to read and write in another language.

by law: every council and legislature has to have proportional representation on at least two of the three of the following metrics, of all the people in its jurisdiction: race, gender, and/or wealth

also by law: all corporate boards of directors are only one third appointed by shareholders, another third are selected from its customers or residents in areas where it has HQ or significant operations, and the last third from its employees. how these are selected, i don't care!

Kevin - That's OK, you don't have to! I don't actually think that should be a law btw because it's obviously wrong and goes against human right etc. But that's the whole idea here or it was when I first proposed the thread.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

animal cruelty now a felony

yes x1000

ah right.

i would see it made unprotected speech. someone should make really nasty reality show about randall monroe's life. and any scientist who enjoys it should be defunded by the relevant grant agency.

Perfectly fine with just breaking off the I-5 corridor from San Fran to Vancouver to form Cascadia.

http://www.smallflags.com/flg/images/PRODUCTS/FLAGS/Speciality%20Flags/Doug%20Flag.jpg

mode of economics: ecotechnosocialist

Man, I recently did business with a 100% employeed-owned company and it was pretty cool.

SB should never have been changed to FP

oh this is just a joke thread my b

only one child per couple allowed and only if that couple passes a child-rearing assessment.

― lil kink (Matt P), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:14 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

OTM. Until the population falls under a billion, then you can apply to have 2 but you have to write a really convincing essay.

if dumb people couldn't have kids the american economy would be fucked

nah fuck that, kids are awesome

also by law: all corporate boards of directors are only one third appointed by shareholders, another third are selected from its customers or residents in areas where it has HQ or significant operations, and the last third from its employees. how these are selected, i don't care!

― Critique of Pure Moods (goole), Monday, February 13, 2012 1:23 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this would be so nice! does it exist anywhere on earth?

if dumb people couldn't have kids the american economy would be fucked

yeah but look at Lucianne Goldberg

people who don't pick up their dog's poo should be grounded

everyone should be required to have like 3 kids, if you're broke, fine, here's money for your kids, don't care if your married or anything.

usually people who say that kind of shit are concerned about a dwindling supply of white babies but i'm totally not picky!

horseshoe: not afaik

mandatory mixed-race breeding could fix that

hahaha i have been trying to stop myself from saying white people should be sterilized but oops there it is

just kidding

kind of

i can't tell if this thread is "things i think in a momentary rage" or not?

you only really need 1 generation of mandatory mixed race breeding, then you're good

only one child per couple allowed and only if that couple passes a child-rearing assessment.

― lil kink (Matt P), Monday, February 13, 2012 6:14 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Fuck yes. Though like ENBB I'd *maybe* consider a two-child policy.

yeah if selective sterilization wasn't obviously completely and inherently wrong it could be used to tackle a lot of different issues tbh

Mandatory second language education at all levels. Pick a language. Any language.

Doesn't matter the subject. During my junior year at Michigan, one of the sections of ME 211("Intro to Solid Mechanics") was taught entirely in Mandarin.

im with goole, no one should be sterilized, not even yakubs spawn, we just need to give way more money to kids and schools, and also ban cars and guns forever

imagine the sexy vibe in bars the last night of free breeding before 25 years of compulsory mixed breeding.

like when people try to get tax write-offs in under the wire but with dicks.

"people who don't pick up their dog's poo should be grounded"

yeah dog poo pickup laws are like... the source of the problem is not people deciding to fail to pick up their dog's poo, its that dogs are legal and encouraged

xxp also they all have to be raised in apartment buildings

lol max

i def should not have posted that. posts i immediately regret.

ya dog poo and car crashes are pretty close to the same thing. might as well call them equivalent.

no I'm serious

both can ruin a good pair of shoes

oh good, i dont agree with banning dogs, but i support your right to demand their elimination

if we can't get rid of capital punishment, then the role of executioner is selected from the community like jury duty. if that person can't pull the trigger, welp, ok the prisoner lives.

haha that's a good one!

I'll happily consent to banning cars if we can ban dogs too

it's a deal

can the selected executioner exercise the option to swap out the condemned for a personal nemesis?

let's ban cats too

mandatory bird ownership btw

people who enjoy reducing complex questions to simplistic oppositions should lose the right to vote.

no birds, they carry disease

I will trade you cats for guns

People who think dogs should be illegal should be forced to undergo psychiatric evaluation.

Especially people who rep owning birds over dogs. They go to the special Dr for really perplexing cases.

People who think dogs should be legal should be forced to live with 4 small ones.

people who enjoy reducing complex questions to simplistic oppositions should lose the right to vote.

― Little GTFO (contenderizer), Monday, February 13, 2012 1:35 PM (40 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol is this directed at...everyone itt?

do you get fined if you don't pick up after your dog in the us?

no politician will be permitted from leaving his/her post on account of sexual behavior that is embarrassing.

I would gladly give up my chihuahuas to the new ilxor fascist lords.

basically, the only allowable ownership of animals should be for food/livestock

nb no restrictions on the type of animal, you just have to be willing to eat it or some foodstuff it produces

otm

I play Tropico to act out these desires, which kinda aren't so secret

http://www.gamerdna.com/public/images/xd/covers/drxx00/xx08/xx08073.jpg

I pretty much run it as a drunken worker's paradise/holiday spot, with a weekly tv show starring El Presidente.

Note, I heavily recommend this game, the earlier versions of which are available for cheaps on GOG/Steam

Try a shot of catmilk, DJP.

if you run for office then you have to make your facebook account public and you're not allowed to untag yourself in any photos

pretty glad none of you are running things

CHURCHES WILL BE TAXED

there will be a tax of one cent on every post made on ILX, proceeds going to me

people who insist that simple things are "complex" should lose the right to vote

People who believe the world would be a better place if they ran things would have to wear armbands.

heavily subsidized fruit and veg

all air travel banned until we figure out a way to make it clean and cheap

mandatory lessons in how to use public transport politely

CHURCHES WILL BE TAXED

― Critique of Pure Moods (goole), Monday, February 13, 2012 1:41 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes! churches are rich, right? this is how we are going to fund my national schools!

Banning cats is where I start the underground revolution.

i'm fuzzy on the details here but jenny mccarthy needs to be in prison

And then when I take over: divert at least half the defense budget to space exploration and developing replicator technology.

Think of all the free time we'll have as a nation if we can just put our dirty dishes back into the replicator!

People who try to do funny accents should have to go to those places and speak in those accents.

i'm fuzzy on the details here but jenny mccarthy needs to be in prison

― Critique of Pure Moods (goole), Monday, February 13, 2012 1:45 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pretty sure you can just convict her for "crimes against the state" now that youre the fascist dictator

I think Neal Stephenson wrote about that in The Diamond Age

yeah some of you really need to own your fascist regime

mandatory name changes for people whose names are irritating variations on common names. Kaytlynnes become Caitlins, Madysyns become Madison, Jaydens become...murdered. there should be a Federal Registry of Baby names and it should maintain a blacklists of names that cannot legally appear on a birth certificate. shitstirring names like Hitler and Zyklon and Holocaust would be legal, though. I don't mind parents telegraphing that their children will grow up to be terrible people as long as they don't make cutesy substitutions like Hitlyrr or Xyclon or Hailiecaust.

'blacklists'

does anyone have any real solution as far as what to do with chronic rapist/abuser types? i don't. jail for life? death? penis-ectomy? i've looked at the sex offender list in our town - and shuddered when i see people that i see all the time on the street - and you get stuff like this:

03/23/2000, RAPE AND ABUSE OF CHILD
03/23/2000, INDECENT ASSAULT AND BATTERY ON CHILD UNDER 14 YEARS OF AGE
03/07/1996, RAPE AND ABUSE OF CHILD
03/07/1996, RAPE AND ABUSE OF CHILD

i mean, is the third time a charm for this guy? if he rapes a third kid does he go away forever? i don't know my mass laws and statutes. maybe i'll look it up. ugh, sorry, this thread was getting goofy.

People who try to do funny accents should have to go to those places and speak in those accents.

― things you're secretly kinda libertranny about (beachville), Monday, February 13, 2012 12:46 PM (54 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm horrible at funny accents. Who know's where I'd end up!

that's a question i can't figure out, either, scott. has there been a lot of study into therapy/ways of changing behavior in rapists/pedophiles?

"Hailiecaust"

lolzzz

castration

oh unregistered reminded me, kids take mom's last name.

it's a very very tough issue, yeah

for maybe three generations? once matriarchal line has been established as dominant, kids can name themselves or whatever.

oh not the mom's last name - the child molester thing

i don't know if therapy does much for a lot of sex offenders? probably constant monitoring does more good than anything. but i'm really no expert. i'm sure they dope people up a ton to lessen urges and stuff.

ban televised awards shows

do we really need beck around anymore?

mandatory name changes for people whose names are irritating variations on common names. Kaytlynnes become Caitlins, Madysyns become Madison, Jaydens become...murdered. there should be a Federal Registry of Baby names and it should maintain a blacklists of names that cannot legally appear on a birth certificate. shitstirring names like Hitler and Zyklon and Holocaust would be legal, though. I don't mind parents telegraphing that their children will grow up to be terrible people as long as they don't make cutesy substitutions like Hitlyrr or Xyclon or Hailiecaust.

― flopson and jetsam (unregistered), Monday, February 13, 2012 1:47 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i think the opposite actually, only 50 people allowed per spelling of name, if you want to call your kid erica you gotta think of a better way to spell it

Hey what you got against Erica?!

i don't know if therapy does much for a lot of sex offenders? probably constant monitoring does more good than anything. but i'm really no expert. i'm sure they dope people up a ton to lessen urges and stuff.

― scott seward, Monday, February 13, 2012 1:50 PM (38 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah. sometimes i wonder if this is because nobody has tried very hard to change the behavior of sex offenders. but i don't really knwo what i'm talking about here.

erykah

I have an unusual name and I like it and would hate to have a boring first name like 'max' or 'goole', tho if 300 million people all had weird names it would prob lead to a lot of wasted time w/ people spelling their names I guess

erykah banu

like I actually have spent a decent % of my life spelling my name for people, come to think of it

oh dayo reminds me: religion is mandatory and the religion is baduizm, i.e. erykah badu is god

iirc whenever dan savage opines about child molesters he says they p much have to be castrated or locked up cuz the urges don't go away

iirc

lol I just googled and found someone named "Airikah Nicole". I should prob start spelling mine like that too, huh?

"My son is _also_ named Bort!"

I have an unusual name and I like it and would hate to have a boring first name like 'max' or 'goole', tho if 300 million people all had weird names it would prob lead to a lot of wasted time w/ people spelling their names I guess

― iatee, Monday, February 13, 2012 1:53 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

when your name sounds a lot like "matt" you spend a lot of time spelling it anyway, even if its boring

that's an argument for short names tho, cause you save time. so everyone should have a randomly assigned 3 letter name, w/ every combination of the alphabet

"interesting...*tells govt*"

I'll take 'max'

xps

also, any ilx interface must show when new posts have been made during the composition of your post, to avoid confusion

ilx is a libertarian survival of the fittest atmosphere iirc so maybe we should allocate posting rights for slow typers

i think the opposite actually, only 50 people allowed per spelling of name, if you want to call your kid erica you gotta think of a better way to spell it

― max, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:52 (24 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

rryq
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxps

rryq moranis

close (almost) all tax loopholes. a certain portion of everything anyone makes/earns goes to taxes, period. taxes should be steeply progressive, but no matter how much anyone makes, i'd cap them at abt 50%.

as others have said, fund all schools equally. ok w private schools tho.

anyone who can't pay gets free, single-payer basic healthcare simply as a reward for existing. same with basic food/clothing/shelter stuff. otoh, there should be systems by which those who receive such things and are unemployed work on behalf of the gov't, to the extent that they're able and there's a legit need.

gov't should sink TONS of money into R&D in every industry. and should forcibly wean us of our dependence on petroleum.

people should basically be forced to live in cities to the extent possible. single family homes and cars are a cancer, and the government should do everything possible to reduce our dependence on such things.

gov't should regulate the hell out of banks and other financial institutions and strongly limit market speculation.

see yr mandatory 2nd language in schools and raise you one business/economic module

no ratings on music/movies

if school's not for you, monitored and mandatory training/apprenticeship (yr pick of field)

no fucking startup offers on goods/services, it costs what it costs

CEO's are personally liable, whatever it was

you can use autotune if you like, but you then can't charge anyone for the track. yr pick.

I am 100% secretly fascist about religion

if a lead character physically assaults someone more than twice then IT'S A FUCKIN ACTION MOVIE

okay, education-wise, every public high school student should be required to take a mandatory *how to apply for a job/how to fill out a job appication* class. totally painful over the years to see kids come into a place i work and not even be physically capable of speaking to a human. or near-human, in my case. i could totally teach them in ten minutes how to get a job, but i'm busy, like, smoking and looking at the internet and stuff.

"application"

and its totally one of those things that might be one of the most important things they learn in school. if they learned it.

you

you don't have that?

hahahahahha no

that said all we ended up with was an economy full of useless fuckers that wow you at interview

successful and/or rich people must spend one hour of each day reflecting upon how their status can be partially attributed to dumb luck.

Funny, I was just thinking about Alan McGee. He really should have done that hour a day.

anything that lessened his time as a label boss, sure

Well, he "was the one that made the J&MC, House of Love, Oasis and Primal Scream, of course I can start anew with Poptones!"

Sorry, find you are mistaken.

Greenhouse emissions.

In a just world, SUV owners and McMansion buyers would be first against the wall.

we have had a lot of people going on maternity/paternity leave at work and i'm tired of picking up their slack so i would like to be granted non-maternity leave as a benefit for not having kids, and i think it should be the law

heartily supported, in a similar situation atm

I am big time supporter of primary/secondary school uniforms....

designed by Hugo Boss

j/k on the last bit, couldn't help myself, sorry.

we have had a lot of people going on maternity/paternity leave at work and i'm tired of picking up their slack so i would like to be granted non-maternity leave as a benefit for not having kids, and i think it should be the law

― kim tim jim investor (harbl), Monday, February 13, 2012 6:46 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I can see how this would be really annoying BUT I think it's pretty much criminal that there is no standard federal maternity leave law in the US beyond the 3 month unpaid BS in the FMLA.

i work for st govt but i think people are still unpaid. i know it's not a vacation, i just think there should be leave for everyone is all. not that fascisty i guess

People from other countries are seriously astounded when they find out that we don't have one and I'm similarly astounded when my friends in the UK get to stay at home for nearly 10 months (yes, I know that's not at full pay).

x-post - Yeah everyone should be able to take some time off tbh. I would be pissed too if I were in that position, I think.

iirc we're at about 6 month's and i think it might even be full pay, with an option of another couple unpaid after.

Whether that's public sector only (or if it's even accurate) i couldn't say

Anyway, once i'm in, it'll be out. A long weekend is all yer gettin

lol

D-Mac - that sounds similar to what they have in the UK. Here companies are required to let a woman take up to 3 months but don't have to pay a cent. A lot of places who do offer paid maternity leave cap it at 6 weeks. SIX WEEKS!

I don't know much in the way of babbies but I do know that 6 week old ones are still very very small.

that is small, ime many of them can't even use simple survival tools like i dunno can openers or microwaves til at least a year

FMLA

seriously don't know, hard to imagine this is not fuck my life, america

back to spirit of thread and points previously touched upon:-

Murderers, rapists, child abusers and ppl driving slowly in the fast lane would be dealt with a minimum of expense to the public purse

just as jesus would have wanted it

nice to see deems expanding on those progressive views he trailed before

jesus hadn't the troika to placate iirc

the other 67%?

Schlump - Family and Medical Leave Act

this isn't the 'expand upon yr progressive views' thread tbf- i di bleev that's all the other threads

This is a fascist safe thread imo

otm this is where facists come together and express themselves openly, and nobody judges them, it's a liberating and accepting environment

I mean, not that liberating, I guess

yeah i mean obv if you say the wrong thing itt the secret police are gonna have a field day, it's not 'safe' safe

ppl driving slowly in the fast lane

o god yes! this probably belongs more in the "things that make you irrationally angry" thread, but there should be signs on every public arterial explaining that when traffic is heavy you should not be in the leftmost laneS unless you are passing someone and/or travelling faster than the general speed of traffic.

also there should be signs on every smaller road explaining that you MUST stop for ALL pedestrians, even at unmarked intersections, even if they're just waiting to cross. i fantasize about suddenly having untold riches and being able fund PSAs to this effect.

Schlump - Family and Medical Leave Act

― wolf kabob (ENBB), Tuesday, 14 February 2012 00:25 (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ty

i have a lot of rules abt driving, but max has already outlawed cars, so

is it fascisty in this context to say i don't support legalizing hard drugs? i'm never sure if the status quo is just pro-marijuana or pro-legalizing everything. idc about pot but i don't like hard drugs and would fear a world where corporations would be able to advertise them.

ya pretty fascisty

also rich people should be illegal

to clarify i am against the drug war and the way it's been executed but i'm not willing to swing in the other direction, personal experience w/things sort of trumps s3 of the wire for me

*swing entirely in the other direction

yeah i'm not in favor of legalizing drugs either

well duh, cause nobody would need a pharmacist

you wanna be the only oxy dealer in town

I've secretly wanted everybody that disagrees w/ me to be dead

then usually i wake up in a cold sweat many miles away from home

i am not in favor of legalizing all drugs. only certain drugs. and i'm totally cool with them turning into profitable industries as a result. look forward to the day when "big buzz" has lobbyists defending the placement of weed vending machines in school lunchrooms.

oxy and prostitutes, see your friendly druggist xxxp

i'm honestly cool with all drugs being legal just cuz i'll be loling when drug dealers move onto other product like kazoos

zachylon, legalization of a drug doesn't require it to be unregulated. I imagine that heroin, if it became legal, would be treated more as a state monopoly than as an ordinary consumer product, with colorful packaging, a dozen flavors, and glossy full-page brand-driven magazine ads.

i don't really support state monopolization either

and i'm talking abt amurrca here -- anything that is regulated can quickly become unregulated given the right congress/potus.

http://i.imgur.com/vSLmq.jpg

I dunno I can imagine some interest groups that would be against heroin being legally purchased at a gas station

by interest groups I mean 'basically everyone in america'

true. but i'm still going to be fascisty about it.

i don't really support state monopolization either

well, wishing real hard that it will all go away on its own doesn't exactly work, you know.

there are more than two options available. there are plenty of countries with fewer drug-death rates than the US that got there without legalizing everything.

tell me more

people who die from use of the drug are just a small piece of the problem

i'm all for legalizing drugs and using tax proceeds to fund free rehab for anyone who wants it. which sounds crazy but its better than the body count/generations in prison/corrupt for-profit jail/police seizure racket going on now.

FYI, FMLA leave only applies to companies with over 50 employees and to employees who have worked a certain number of hours in the past 12 months (works out as roughly part time). So no dice if you work for a small company or if you can't get enough hours or got pregnant right after you started working. And as it's for all medical leave, if a woman has a complicated pregnancy and needs bed rest for the last month, for example, she's already used up 1/3 of it before that baby is even born.

yes if drugs were legalized free rehab would have to be a big part of it, but again, american govt -- there is too massive a section of our political spectrum who would demand that free rehab be cut in favor of tax cuts to the rich. nothing is set in stone.

xp Despite all that, it's still one of our better employment laws because a employee can sue for triple damages of she can show that an employer willfully violated the act. :|

close every single wal-mart forever

i'd be willing to support a flag burning amendment if it included a proviso that all confederate flags must be forcibly confiscated and publicly burned

xp

just need to be sure you understand that people will continue to use drugs of all sorts, regardless of legality or not, ease of access or not, free rehab or no rehab, or whatever song and dance society attempts to use to control drug use. people have always used drugs. every culture has its approved or tolerated drugs. whenever new drugs become available in a culture, no matter how dangerous, that drug finds new users. the only relevant question is not how to stop people from killing or harming themselves with drugs, because you can't do that (except as a goal you will often fail to achieve) but how do you keep the damage down to the smallest social cost.

hating that drugs foul people up and ruin their health and dull their minds is not a position on what to do about that. Legalizing, at its very root, means you stop regulating drug use by treating users as criminals and locking them in prisons. After you accept that idea as sensible, then you can try to construct a different approach to minimizing the social cost of drugs... or else you can stick with making criminals out of users.

as i said, i am against the drug war. i don't believe in the lock-everyone-up philosophy. i don't think that that is the answer. i also don't think that full legalization, even well-regulated legalization is the answer. i don't know the answer. policy isn't something i think about, i only think about where drugs are in my life and the part they play. we disagree, but can we at least agree that there are more than these two black and white options you're assuming i consider?

i'm just sick of industry and government making money off of misery. billions spent on keeping the drug war alive. in my fascist state the government doesn't make money off of addicts or dealers or cartels or the mob. it can take the revenue generated from taxed legal product though.

banning the lottery too.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2011/07/05/ten-years-after-decriminalization-drug-abuse-down-by-half-in-portugal/

smoking should be banned everywhere but in private homes.

we would burn all organic crops and replace them with genetically altered food. we would ban all public, private, and imaginary displays of sentimentality.

we would tear down the rainforest and replace it with a power plant. we would ban dancing, non-electronic books, pornography and wood.

read that as 'non-pornographic books', nodded

your insolence has been noted

my boring/obvious fascist platforms:
-every fucking region/city/town/outpost of every state, gets basic fucking internet access. guns will be pointed at heads of wireless companies and they WILL go into the mountains of W.Va and eastbuttfuck nowhere because i motherfucking said so
-Child Protective Services becomes a division of Delta Force, and get whatever goddamn money, time, and intelligence they need to put fear in the hearts of child abusing assholes

crazy IA platforms

-all bicycles are fitted with electroshock triggers so that when cyclists fail to obey BASIC ROAD RULES they are electrocuted.
-outlaw out-of-season tomatoes
-out of tune whistlers and out of time handclappers are captured and funnelled into an underground labor camp
-jaywalkers shot into the sun
-FINALLY AN END TO BROCCOLI

oh that gives me some ideas for the libertarian thread

Would it be acceptable to just keep the brocolli hidden when you come to visit?

NO

• Hate speech should be a crime punishable by jail time (obviously the problem is who decides what that encompasses)
• The fee for littering should be so exorbitant so that no one would ever do it ever.
• Education post high-school should be FREE.

I'm kinda for the Judge system in Mega City One. If someone is witnessed commiting an act of physical or sexual violence, that person is summarily executed. Orrrr maybe just sterilized. Maybe we can weed the better part of that shit out in a few generations.

Any televised news must be like C-SPAN (i.e. no flashy graphics, music, movement of the camera). National political candidates are allotted, say, five debates and five town hall-style meetings in this format. All other campaigning/coverage/expenditure of political monies is illegal. Term limits are eliminated. Probably some more iron fist regulations I haven't considered yet.

Oh. People need to pass some basic civics test before voting. Maybe they're required to have watched a certain number the aforementioned debates/town hall meetings, as well.

just make them pay a fee

I'm for a civics test as long as it includes stuff like 'does lowering taxes raise revenue'

actually I'm cool w/ that being the only question

k3vin is the least fascist person on ILX

haha my bad i guess I'm ruining the fun, can't tell if this is supposed to be like "hahaha i'd freaking shoot all republicans, you know?" or if people are actually serious about these. i have lots of these obv many of which have already been mentioned

well you can't shoot the republicans if you banned guns in the other thread

i dont really care what ppl do or think or drive as long as they dont exist near me

^^ pretty much

- ban A Prairie Home Companion
- regardless of parents tastes, children must dress age appropriate until college, illegal for department stores to sell children's thongs, midriff tops, bikinis, etc
- anyone with a memorial emblazoned on their car must be forced to carry the corpse within the car at all times
- food network channel fined a bajillion dollars for every day they fail to cook anything resembling actual food on their programs
- all superfluous self-congratulatory award shows are banned. The public votes once a year for their favorite whatevers, award cermony held on Superbowl Sunday eve

ok here's a more genuine fascisty thing: i think education in this country ought to be a lot more tracked, tiered and restricted.

it'd only really work if you also made it possible for ppl to make a living w/o a 4-yr degree tho

can you say more about what you mean?

NO!

haha. it's tracked and tiered in Europe, right? i have only the vaguest sense of how it works.

lol, just being fascist

idk either tbh. or if it's better. but my fascist impulse is that not everyone is really cut out for 'higher learning' and so it's a big waste to try to jam everyone through it.

you'd need a really serious moon-shot national effort to overhaul elementary ed, and to really track kids into and out of the right places. educational privilege must be broken, but that does mean a lot of kids not going to arizona state anymore etc

there's a libertarian side to that too

what w/ student loan programs etc.

yeah i can see how that makes sense but the actual practice of tracking is kind of hairy.

idk you don't have to call it tracking, you can call it '4 year degrees not necessary for all americans'

right that might be more achievable, anyway

also de facto tracking happens anyway :(

anyway anyway anyway

what about student POGROMS

I mean, this is the fascist thread after all

/sorry

haha

Okay, I might be wrong, but what I think you mean by 'tracking and tiering' isn't the answer to too many people going to university. It's a method of filtering, sure, but it's mostly a terrible method that is already biased from class perspectives.

yes but if i were dictator it would work out great

Okay, I might be wrong, but what I think you mean by 'tracking and tiering' isn't the answer to too many people going to university. It's a method of filtering, sure, but it's mostly a terrible method that is already biased from class perspectives.

― emil.y, Tuesday, February 14, 2012 12:01 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah this is basically the problem. race perspectives too.

well we have enough college educated white people so i would put the kibosh on that for a while

the prob is even worse when you're funneling poor people into for-profit degree programs and people are defending it for equality of opportunity reasons even if large amounts of debt might be a pretty bad way to go about equality

you're definitely right about that

conversations about fixing education always have to become conversations about fixing everything else

but that reminds me, in my fascist regime, the university of phoenix & c. are going down

i guess that's not challopsy enough

i thought i was going to be so good at this thread

lift ur game, horseshoe

cap executive compensation for any company receiving any sort of aid, subsidy, grant or tax break. companies may be eligible for such things, but only if they cap salaries at (say) 1M/year, all bonuses, benefits and perks included. which might sound like a lot, but relative to what many CEOs and top execs make nowadays, it's a pretty drastic cut.

companies who do not cap income have to pay a flat rate of like 40% on gross earnings, no loopholes or deductions for anything.

contents: one proposal (modest)

Compulsory voting

all humans should be eliminated

I held back on making this cause secret libertarian fantasies are a lot more shameful than secret fascist fantasies

― iatee, Monday, February 13, 2012 6:10 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol i feel the opposite and i feel like this is a mutually revealing thing somehow

like my secret shameful fascist fantasy is that everyone should receive the kind of education that lets them debate submerged state policies on really wonky details by the watercooler

I'll admit I'm way more stunned by things people are saying on this thread than on the libertarian thread, mostly because I didn't think ILXors would be serious about killing and sterilizing people.

'how was happy hour last night'
'oh it was cool until we got into it over the limits on the earned income tax credit again'
'bobby's never gonna fucking get it, is he'

like my secret shameful fascist fantasy is that everyone should receive the kind of education that lets them debate submerged state policies on really wonky details by the watercooler

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, February 14, 2012 8:17 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the reason this is shameful for me btw is because its privileging one kind of blah blah yada over you know the deal

Getting back to my "flags" thing, I remembered that I'm pretty nostalgic for the marches of my boy scout youth. I wish there were more civilian opportunities for marching and if elected your fascist dictator, would make them mandatory for Sunday mornings. I would exempt the differently-abled, which I realize is not very fascisty of me, but what the heck.

Oh, and I don't want to minimize the importance of fascisty uniforms! All women would have to wear either IDF uniforms or labcoats. I don't know about the men.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_P7lsU6JzU3o/S8Jriley3iI/AAAAAAAAAGM/8wcDlkCm5Vg/s1600/idf-women.jpg

http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/256486/256486,1295976450,6/stock-photo-isolated-scientist-woman-in-lab-coat-with-chemical-glassware-69766885.jpg

I propose to ban amplified busking.

I have also been thinking it would be great if we all had to wear uniforms at work.

what if it were a really shitty uniform though

I'll admit I'm way more stunned by things people are saying on this thread than on the libertarian thread, mostly because I didn't think ILXors would be serious about killing and sterilizing people.

― plee help i am lookin for (crüt), Tuesday, February 14, 2012 3:18 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't think they are being serious crut. I wasn't and I thought I clarified that.

I assumed others weren't as well.

This thread is a weird mix of jokey and not jokey imo which makes it hard to read what people mean correctly.

Not jokey but OTT and exaggerated.

and an internet thread

right, that too

i think i should be able to kill aggressive drivers

We've been over it before, so I'm not surprised that there are ilxors who are against killing child molestors, but I've known enough victims of child abuse to care more about what they think.

Mandatory adoption - all newborns go to the next family.

-all bicycles are fitted with electroshock triggers so that when cyclists fail to obey BASIC ROAD RULES they are electrocuted.

I think you'll find that in the new no-cars utopia this sort of thing will drop off sharply.

i am against killing child molesters

poll

Let's seriously not.

i am against killing child molesters

.. for the simple reason that otherwise the molester has no reason not to murder the child afterwards.

i don't think most of them are that forward-thinking but i don't wanna ruin the fascist thread with this, let's think of other people who should be killed

ha i dunno how else a fantiscist thread on ilx was ever going to go tho harbl, kind of inevitable

they don't have to be forward thinking, they just have to feel massive remorse and panic afterwards.

But, as you say, ... other.

farrell living in a fool's no-car paradise there: THEY WILL STILL RIDE ON THE PAVEMENT AND EVEN COPS ON HORSEBACK WILL NOT CATCH EM

Planet of the Apes vs E.T. mashup

- Compulsory pet ownership min 6. months in lifetime, ideally during childhood (cld not disagree more w/ ban on pets, though owning dogs big enough to eat a sheep a day perhaps ought to incur a climate change fine.)
- Clothes, toys, books, TV etc. marketed to pre-teens to be UNISEX and DEFINITELY NOT PINK. All Barbie and Bratz dolls to be rounded up and executed to mark the inception of this regime.
- Anyone creating an image of a woman in a chainmail bikini to be forced to wear a chainmail bikini for a year, no overclothes allowed.

Clothes, toys, books, TV etc. marketed to pre-teens to be UNISEX and DEFINITELY NOT PINK.

I'd think that if the toys were unisex, pink would lose it's negative signifiers. I feel bad because my girl's standard outfits are mostly pink, but we sorta make it a point to dress her up in "boys" clothes too.

Yeah pink would lose the signifiers eventually, but I'm the diktator here, so not in my lifetime! The pink aisles in toyshops make me sick to my stomach. ~bit serious for the fascist thread~

No, I mean, you are the dictator. I say "go for it!"

"Follow your dreams!"

xxxxposts i was way kidding about killing people. I feel guilty for days if I just mildly inconvenience somebody, so murder is kind of out of the realm of things I could ever do, lol.

As an alternative to murder, I recommend my chain of gulags in the desolate swamplands of central* Florida.

*gulags adjusted north for Alfred.

Oh, I can get with gulags.

People shouldn't be allowed to do anything.

ikr?

i ban everything

i am unsecretly kinda fascisty about the prolifieration of these threads

No publicly-funded stadiums for anything, anywhere, ever. If a major league sports team threatens to leave, show 'em the door.

I have no problem with lightly spanking children or pets.

even hamsters?

Lol spanking a hamster is really funny for some reason.

I do it often!

A lot of reasons, imo.

they can be very naughty, especially the teddy bear hamsters

http://www.2020site.org/hamsters/images/teddy-bear-hamster.jpg

i mean the way the dress they are practically asking for it

delete brain

Lightly, though. With a LOLly stick.

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/funny-pictures-hamster-has-new-chair.jpg

I'm "fascist" about driving. Drinking and driving, bad driving. Pull them all over, punish them, ticket them. I can't stand when people get aggressive because I'm driving near the speed limit. Smoking....you don't have the right to smoke in someone else's property. Quit whining about not being able to smoke in a restaurant / bar. However, I think you have the right to smoke outdoors.

Stadium funding...this is an interesting question. Again, I think sport is an important part of culture, history and economy. It's a shame that sports culture is obnoxious sometimes.

In ancient Rome, the Colosseum was state funded to the extent that all entrance was free but where you were allowed to stand was governed by your position in society. So, a bit of one side and a bit of the other.

Then again, it was all killing and murder etc.

Except on Wednesdays, that was indie night.

Stadium funding...this is an interesting question.

Not really. Economically, it's been shown in pretty much every single case (at least in the US) to be an absolute losing proposition for the taxpayers. These teams can more than afford to build these stadiums on their own, and they should. (I say this while looking out my office window at Browns Stadium, built at a cost of $283 million, most of it tax money, used perhaps a dozen, dozen and a half times a year and otherwise taking up 31 acres of rare non-industrial lakefront property.)

This book is essential reading on this topic.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ACJB770YL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

However, I think you have the right to smoke outdoors.

But if caught throwing butts in street/on ground you can be shot on sight.

Having just witnessed this, YES.

Also for spitting.

Oh man, I would totally bring unemployment down to negative numbers by having a sniper trained on every recycling bin.

kinda want to read this, subtitle "baseball economics and public policy" -

http://www.amazon.co.uk/May-Best-Team-Win-Economics/dp/0815797281/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1329230373&sr=1-3

xp: you don't mean to shoot all the homeless people???

I HAVE ONE I HAVE ONE

* pedestrians who think you should move or slow down for them because they got in front of you should be herded into a holding pen and not released until 10am.
* on third offense they will be banned from public spaces during rush hours, morning and evening.

No, people putting non-recycling in. We don't (I think) have redeemable recycling, so once stuff goes in the bin it stays there - if that's what you're asking about?

Ahhhh. I see.

But what is recycling vs. non-recycling varies from place to place. I can recycle stuff in my curbside bin that my parents can't one county over. I would worry about if a sniper were to transfer between jurisdictions that there might be a tragic mix-up.

laurel: sounds fair, but also...

drivers who have any problem with STOPPING because pedestrians got in front of them should lose the right to drive

Oh well I am a pedestrian without a driver's license, so I'm just talking about walking.

It is my policy - to mark every bin very clearly as regard its intended contents, with ideograms and six languages - that will sweep me to power with the full will of the people behind me.

Ah, peds that hurry to get in front of you also walking, then slow down.

If you wanted so much to walk in front, you have to walk faster than me. Or exactly the same speed, ok.

oh, gotcha laurel. i'm a non-driver pedestrian person, too, but i don't have much trouble with other pedestrians. hate bike ppl on the sidewalks tho. if you wanna be on the sidewalk, walk your bike. otherwise, heavy truncheon blows.

people should not be allowed to drive until they demonstrate that they are able to do it really, really well, and they should lose that right at the drop of a hat.

the easy way to solve this is to give bikes the road

all of it

I bumped into at least 5 people this morning because I didn't vary my pace in a straight line. YOU CAN SEE ME COMING. I HAVEN'T CHANGED THAT SINCE THREE SECONDS AGO. Fuck you fuck you FFFFF UUUUU

OMG people who don't know how to walk on a sidewalk - UP AGAINST THE WALL. Those people who walk three astride in a group, blocking everything? They are the cancer that is killing society.

steady gait in a straight line is the proper way, BTW, I wasn't referring to you Laurel but the goonwads who bumped into you.

Those people who walk three astride in a group, blocking everything? They are the cancer that is killing society.

okay, this is true. plus people who stop in the middle of an obvious thoroughfare to chat or arrange the baby or w/e. up against the wall.

also, as an american, i'm kinda fascisty about "keep right". stick to the right-hand side of the sidewalk, take the right-hand staircase or doorway. this leaves the other lane open for traffic in the other direction. most folks seem to instinctively get this, but the outliers could stand culling.

ayn rand fans should be forcibly deprogrammed. in camps.

In My Fascist Regime:

- mandatory public behavior training covering topics such as Moving to the Back of the Crowded Bus, Elevator Etiquette, and Stand Right, Walk Left.
- Taco Tuesday

Senior citizens who include you in mass e-mail forwards should be sent to a camp where they spend an entire week reading through Snopes.

more controversial opinions, fewer minor annoyances plz (goes for me too)

Yeah, this threads are kinda hard to keep on track.

I'll stand by my flags, uniforms, and marching and let you guys hash out the political mumbo jumbo.

I'm kind of small-picture about these things, I want my life to suck less on the micro level. I'm find with letting horseshoe and iatee work out the big-pic stuff.

stupid people should not be allowed to vote

- for caek

stupid people should not be allowed to vote

don't want to minimize the importance of fascisty uniforms!

Only if the members of the Anti-Sex League have to wear scarlet sashes to set off their hips.
http://www.cinemovies.fr/images/data/photos/7420/1984-1984-7420-250588077.jpg

i feel like this thread, when not about racists or child molesters, is borderline Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

Yeah it's turned into that somehow.

ilxors terrible at fascism shocker.

Well yeah, I'm not looking for monuments to my immortal genius or a new calendar year or anything, I just want my life not to suck b/c of other people and their independent idea-having.

fascisty thread: what i'd do to the world if there were no political constraints/ppl fucking annoy me
libertariany thread: the public sector does kind of blow doesn't it ps drugs and whores are ok
liberaly thread: (there was one of these right?)
socialisty thread: idk, contenderizer

hahahaha

apolitical thread has not as of yet really taken a direction.

TOTALLY feeling the car fascism. Getting a driver's license should be very difficult and entail a broad display of knowledge and prowess on the part of the potential licensee. Policing of the roadways should be ramped way the eff up. Speed limits are eliminated, but almost all other infractions (most definitely including the treatment of pedestrians as an impediment to arriving at your destination a whole five seconds sooner, you poor inconvenienced widdle wamb you) result in the lifetime revocation of your license. Cracking down to this extent would solve SO MANY PROBLEMS (severely reduced vehicular injuries and fatalities, severely reduced pollution, severely reduced reliance on oil, a sharp increase in access to and quality of public transportation, decreased sprawl, a general uptick in health and wellness, etc., etc., etc.) and seems like such a great idea that I'm certain nothing like it will ever happen in my lifetime.

Also: as an american, i'm kinda fascisty about "keep right" = SO OTFM. Enforce it with cattle prods, if necessary.

I threw out a perfectly reasonable eugenics program upthread and not one person said boo

you mean, the killing racists thing? no one got mad at me about sterilizing white people, either; it's a v tolerant thread, though tolerant seems like the wrong word.

no, I mean this:

there should be an enforced sterilization program on the bottom 5% and the top 5% of the population as ranked economically; you are in one fell swoop removing the people who cannot achieve and the people who achieve primarily via gross cheating and exploitation from the gene pool

― I spend a lot of time thinking about apricots (DJP), Monday, February 13, 2012 1:10 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'd kind of assumed you were joking, DJP?

bottom 5% of population as ranked economically not equivalent to "people who cannot achieve" and i don't get how that's necessarily a heritable trait.

unless that was a joke in which case i feel dumb

(Re: my car fascism, I have a valid license despite not having driven in almost fifteen years or in any way proven that I could operate a motor vehicle without destroying property and killing many, many people. There's absolutely no reason that should be okay.)

"cannot achieve" should really have been "are not achieving"

also it wasn't entirely serious

djp just wants the harvard campus all to himself

basically true, but more of a happy side-effect

I like how 'people should legally be required to be good drivers before the get a license, and traffic laws should be enforced' is car fascism

and I mean in america it p much is

Sadly.

Not tolerant, but assuming exclusive areas of control - like you're just hanging out and chewing the fat with Namor, Doom and I don't know, a particularly pissy T'Challa?

I am serious as cancer about no broccoli fyi

no one should be allowed to produce more than two children during their lifetime. extra children to be used for science.

it's a v tolerant thread, though tolerant seems like the wrong word.

― horseshoe, Tuesday, February 14, 2012 7:24 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

irl lol

okay i have one! white people restricted from selling/distributing cultural works they've created for one year and any cockamamie vague idea for a work of culture during that year that lives in the mind of a person of color gets 100% funding by the government.

within the u.s., i guess

inspired by the Girls thread, which made me think, what do i even want from white people, anyway? as i have so often before

i fascistly support this fascist idea

what do i even want from white people, anyway?

If I fall short
If I don't make the grade
If you're expectations aren't met in me today
There's always tomorrow, or tomorrow night
Hang in there, baby
Sooner or later I know I'll get it right
Please don't give up on me
Oh please don't give up on me
I know It's late, late in the game
But my feelings, my true feelings haven't changed
Here in my heart I know, I know I was wrong, wrong, wrong
I'd like to make amends for the love that I've never ever, ever, ever shown
Just don't give up on me, every word is true
I'll give you my everything, all of my love,
All of my love, all of my love, love, love to you
Just don't give up on me,
oh please, please, please don't give up on me
I don't want you to
I know It's late, but wait please, please, please, please don't give up on me
Promise, will you promise me, will you promise me
Please don't give up on me
We can make it if we try
I'm going to hold on, hold on with me
And don't give up on me
Oh baby don't give up on me
Whatever you do we'll make it though
Don't you give up on me,
Please, please, please promise me,
Don't give up on me.

smoking can be legal but you can only do it in smoking-rooms

okay i have one! white people restricted from selling/distributing cultural works they've created for one year and any cockamamie vague idea for a work of culture during that year that lives in the mind of a person of color gets 100% funding by the government.

― horseshoe, Thursday, April 19, 2012 12:32 AM (5 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

tough but fair I suppose.

iatee what if it's not tobacco, do you still need a smoking room

does a bar count as a smoking-room

you can smoke weed on the streets but you have to share
bars are not smoking-rooms

can you have barstools in the smoking-room, and also sell beer

I like the way crut thinks.

nothing fun can happen in a smoking room

if u find smoking fun u can't go

dang it!!

this is the worst fascism yet

will rural residents have equal access to the smoking rooms and can we arrange low-cost transportation for them

boys room iirc http://www.motorcitymusicarchives.com/brownsvillesmokin.png

not quite fascisty, but neck tattoos, esp. throat, bring out my inner "you need a job" conservative

rural residents can smoke inside their trailer homes if they get the right permit

did you know you can't take a barstool into the boys' room? it's ridiculous.

formulating the story of how you found that out crut - and lol'ing

Both people I can think of that I know with neck tattoos, I only know them BECAUSE they're good at their full-time jobs! Of course one of them is a bartender....

People with bad tattoos definitely make me feel like a conservative crank
actually I get very church lady, "YOU SHOULD RESPECT YOUR BODY" feeling.

that battle was lost a long time ago

I'm sure by 2030 we'll have a president w/ a neck tattoo

xp I am jealous of them.

it's really the final frontier for the civil rights movement

I'm sure by 2030 we'll have a president w/ a neck tattoo

― iatee, Wednesday, October 3, 2012 4:32 PM (30 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

considering how tatted up our military is getting i think you're right

(maybe not among the officers tho idk)

wow I realize that I used to be way more fascist about many things... still fascist about some tho, no worries

why be jealous of ppl w/ bad tattoos?

respecting bike lanes, people who think they're cool to drift into or use as a passing lane are dicks

Depends on what you mean by "bad" I guess. I'm jel of people with lots of tattoos as long as they're not of horrible quality of work because they crossed that bridge without being stalled by fear of repercussions and now they are home-free whereas I will forever see myself as the kind of person who gets tattooed but just hasn't yet for...no good reason, really.

all cyclists should be shot

Although carl agatha posted a link to a plus-size clothing site that made me rethink my whole placement scheme for my "future" work.

neck tattoos, esp. throat, bring out my inner "you need a job" conservative

There is a standing job offer for people with neck tattoos, over at my place

I love bike lanes. I love driving next to them and seeing cyclists in them and thinking "I can seeee youuu and you are gonna be just fine"

three or four day work week whatever makes most economic sense but you ~have~ to directly contribute to the construction of entire cities designed by rem koolhaas (maybe) and the organization of massive rio de janeiro style carnivals for the entire population. I like the cctv headquarters

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xLRmO-dkTUU/TZIq_C2LQ3I/AAAAAAAAAG0/ouo1YWr1fcc/s1600/ATT00355.jpg

imagine living in that city with festivities like this one

http://oi47.tinypic.com/35avm83.jpg

at least twice a year.

i think i'm becoming fascistic about buildings that look extremely cumbersome to navigate

I love bike lanes. I love driving next to them and seeing cyclists in them and thinking "I can seeee youuu and you are gonna be just fine"

― flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, October 3, 2012 6:39 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this has been giving me warm feelings for the last day, completely ruined my fascistic leanings on anything else

Compact Discs.
Cyclists not wearing helmets on roads.

Cyclists jumping red lights.
Cyclists riding on the pavement when they shouldn't.

As a cyclist myself I'm pretty fascistic abnout other cyclists behaving badly and sullying our collective name actually.

Cyclists not having lights.

As a cyclist it cracks me up to see cyclists sweating/policing the behavior of other cyclists, and worrying about them "ruining it for everyone" or whatever, in ways that drivers never do. The 10 best drivers I know are still 10,000x the danger to themselves and others than the 10 worst cyclists.

go cry, lycra boy

I'm kind of the same about motorists and pedestrians, actually. Basically, everyone on the highways should behave exactly the fuck like me.

Well, yeah.

wear all black, no lights, in the rain, blowing through stop signs

yeeeeeeeah

ten worst cyclists i know are a considerably greater danger to themselves, at least, than the ten worst drivers are to others.

Evolution in action.

yeah, but injuring yourself is still a hell of a lot less of an ill than injuring or killing people with a car!

I say this as a person who was the cause of a car accident as a youth (just cars injured) and wrecked my wrists on a bicycle. Would much rather wreck my own body than cause a car accident.

I also get way aggro abt bad cyclists but moreso uninformed drivers who yell at me when I'm following all the rules (like biking in the middle of the street so they can't pass me bcz guess what there is a 4 ft cushion law in effect so you're legally not able to pass me anyway and I don't want you to try and nearly run me over)

I mean if you think that is a dick move try biking around PHL which is all one-way streets w/ parked cars whose doors will open and hit you and whose owners will scream at you for running into their open door

true but it was an unfairly weighted comparison

i see now that the problem w/ this thread is that it's called things you're secretly kinda fascisty about when it should really be called things you're secretly really fascist about.

no such thing as a partway fascist

indie rock

people who think they get no tax breaks on federal taxes, but have home mortgages and more than one child

we're subsidizing your house and kid, stop whining

90% of thread recommendations are instituting public goods in somewhat fascisty way.

we're cruel about our kindness

Also: a few wks ago I saw a guy biking A) the wrong way down a one-way street B) at night, with no lights C) TALKING ON A CELL PHONE BIKING ONE-HANDED. That made me p IA

like dont get me wrong i kick wing mirrors off've fuckers on my way by, i just see more reckless cyclists than drivers is all

stevie, you'd love montreal. saw a dude riding between two moving lanes of traffic, going the opposite direction, in the middle of the road

o_O

being a non-reckless cyclist takes a lot of patience/skill in a city

also a certain cognitive dissonance w/r/t statistics

Laws that should be passed:

• Cyclists need to have front and rear lights while riding at night
• Everyone with a driver's license needs to take some sort of cycling awareness course and LEARN THE FUCKING LAWS

I hate when cyclists blow through stop signs, but have no problem with them doing a california roll through them, hypocritical, I know

I mean it's immensely frustrating bcz they pass these laws that are actually really cool (like the 4-ft cushion) but there is no way to enforce them and no way to report people who break them and be taken seriously

xp

http://osaka-steakhouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/California-Roll-4.95.jpg

ya a lot of problems could be solved if speed limits and many other laws already in place were actually enforced

that's why I'm also for fascisty cameras everywhere

Cyclists need to have front and rear lights while riding at night

Already the law in the state of Ohio. And it specifies a red light in the rear and a white light in the front. I have two each, actually, yr standard battery-powered blinky lights plus these.

I know people who have this weird irrational anger, a couple years on, that there were bike lanes added to this street near my home. It used to be a clusterfuck of lanes, parking, and unpainted lines as the city decided what to do. It was either a four lane road (two in either direction) plus occasional turning lanes, or three lanes with parking, or w/e. Now it's mostly two lanes of traffic, a center turning lane for about half the length of the road, and two bike lanes. There's also lots more parking.

The only real thing a driver had to learn was that there is a turning lane for right turns where you cross the bike lane into what is usually the parking lane. It's easy, you look for bicyclists, then merge over when the lane has a dashed line. People RAGE about this. Note that this entire stretch of road is 1.5 miles. A mere two blocks up the hill is a four lane road with next to zero traffic, so if you really wanted to avoid this, you could go up there. All of the numbers so far indicate that shops along the stretch are making more money, the number of accidents has gone down, and there's more foot traffic.

I DON'T GET IT.

people hate change

I think the rage comes from the fact people want to take the most direct road, drive as fast as they possibly can, and not have to actually look for things near the road. We have places where you can drive like that, they're called suburbs.

nah man that's called italy

as someone who didn't own a car until age 28 i'm very sympathetic to cyclists but shitty cyclists (that is, all the cyclists in my neighborhood) enrage me. i think it should be perfectly legal to mow down some beardo fuck going the wrong way down a one-way street.

5 years dungeon for thread derails

The 10 best drivers I know are still 10,000x the danger to themselves and others than the 10 worst cyclists.

ok I cannot tell you HOW many times a fucking week I almost hit a cyclist because they're not obeying the traffic laws they're supposed to obey. running red lights, etc.

three or four day work week whatever makes most economic sense but you ~have~ to directly contribute to the construction of entire cities designed by rem koolhaas (maybe) and the organization of massive rio de janeiro style carnivals for the entire population.

I like these suggestions because they seem taken straight of the SIm City 2000 model for urban planning.

The 10 best drivers I know are still 10,000x the danger to themselves and others than the 10 worst cyclists.
ok I cannot tell you HOW many times a fucking week I almost hit a cyclist because they're not obeying the traffic laws they're supposed to obey. running red lights, etc.

― gesange der yuengling (crüt), Thursday, October 4, 2012 9:40 AM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

go slower

very very fascisty about drivers bitching about cyclists, and i drive everywhere.

I hit three whole cyclists this morning and I still hate when drivers complain about them

fuck off, Matt P. I follow the law.

I don't blame all cyclists for the antics of these clowns that surround my college campus, fwiw -- I think it's an engineering student thing.

my brother's just been in a bike accident :( on way to hospital now. Jinx.

DARRA. Shit, I'm sorry. Speed to his side and take our support & concern as you go.

:[

best to you and your brother

good luck.

thks guys. Spoke to him and he's ok but banged up a little. Phew

thank goodness!

bicycle meets automobile never ends well, but banged up a little is well to the better side of the spectrum

pizza

pssh, who needs an automobile present to have a bike accident

mh otm, no cars involved,

jumper caught in front wheel at speed, no helmet. Big forehead gash, likely be carrying a decent scar for life, likewise from lip to nose (which is broken), large chip off front tooth, broken fingers, maybe torn calf muscle, shock and concussion. And lucky at that.

uuungh I will only be reading that description once

I feel like I got away relatively unscathed with two broken wrists, one of which was unnoticeable to me

what kind of jumper was he wearing, that it could get caught in the front wheel like that?

he had it on the handlebars, he is 32 fyi

sounds horrible. i hit my face hard into the ground in a non-bike accident a few weeks ago and it hurt like absolute hell. the hard bone of your head just smacks right into the unbelievable hardness of the road and any soft tissue in the way just gets smashed right through like it isn't even there. good luck to the poor guy

Securing my load when biking.

(me and everyone else reading this thread)

i am p fascisty about fascists