fantasy sports: things you will change about your favorite professional sports when you are made king

I spend too much time thinking about this

- how many cities can 'support teams' (in yr country)? how many leagues? how should revenues be allocated, both among teams and among players?
- what's the 'ideal' playoff / way of declaring winners at the end of the year? how long should the season be?
- rule changes? what's the 'best' form of over-time? how safe can you make american football before it becomes not-football? is it morally wrong to allow people to participate in hyper-violent sports?

MMA - ditch the 10-point must scoring system in favor of one where judges can more easily weight dominant rounds/overall performance
baseball - give Portland a MLB team, force the Angels to trade Albert Pujols to the Giants for Barry Zito
basketball - officiating reforms of some kind

cmon this at least deserves joke answers!

- promotion and relegation for all american sports
- college football/basketball teams turned into minor league teams w/ some sort of broken affiliation w/ the school. teams that can't break even go away.
- any city that spends taxpayer money a stadium is bombed

socialize the hell out of the MLB to promote competitive balance
was going to say the same about the NBA, but truth is small-market teams are hamstrung there by people not wanting to play in Milwaukee

The Wave abolished from baseball parks

oh, and all ball-strike, safe-out & fair-foul calls to be made by robot umpires

oh yeah that's a good one

Nobody wants to sit around and boo a robot.

UMPIRE SUCKS! REFORMAT HIS HARD DISK!

My change: Steroids required for all corner outfielders and designated hitters.

yeah, robot officiating as soon as inhumanly possible plz

make college sports illegal. more local & pro-am clubs, relegation, etc.

i was thinking of starting a thread sort of like this to talk about this article, heh

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7559458/cte-concussion-crisis-economic-look-end-football

i think american football should be played w/o pads

Losing thousands of college players and hundreds of pro players might produce a few more doctors or engineers. Plus, talented coaches and general managers would gravitate toward management positions in American industry.

lol

cowen mostly being trolly also he is a basketball fan so his prediction of basketball taking over the country is maybe not entirely unbiased. the super bowl is the biggest media event in the country. that is not something you can compare to 'people driving without seatbelts'.

also no Star-Spangled Banner or God Bless America

(going full fantasy here obv, that'd be like banning Air Force flyovers from football)

most valuable thing about the cowen/grier piece is how big the big sports of earlier eras were and how quickly they collapsed when... something changed.

I would make every team based in New York City

there are certain things that might have something to em

The Ivy League quits football, then California shuts down its participation, busting up the Pac-12. Then the Big Ten calls it quits, followed by the East Coast schools. Now it's mainly a regional sport in the southeast and Texas/Oklahoma. The socioeconomic picture of a football player becomes more homogeneous: poor, weak home life, poorly educated. Ford and Chevy pull their advertising, as does IBM and eventually the beer companies.

I can see the ivy league shutting down its football programs within the next 30 years. the process would be a war w/ alums, for sure, but after attending an ivy league football game this year I am p skeptical about how much the powerful alumni base 'really cares' about the football rivalries or whatever. after that could the process 'getting rid of football' turn into a symbol of 'focusing on academics'? I guess. but I don't see that convincing usc or notre dame alums.

you could definitely shut down ivy league football if you gave them a replacement event at which to get shitfaced blackout drunk

I am fairly sure that at least 50% of the columbia student body could not tell you where the football stadium is

it's in the meadowlands, right?

rename the ny jets and giants the nj jets and giants

force brett ratner into the half-done atlantic stadium wearing a vest rigged with C4 and pull the trigger on him on live tv

move the nets back to NJ

require etiquette lessons for fans in boston, philly and nyc

haha I am actually v much more 'require every sports team to be named after the shitty suburb they put the stadium in'

strict financial controls for all soccer clubs including meaningful board representation for supporters and local authorities

v much for*

Remove all human line judges and umpires from tennis.

Not sure the downfall of boxing and horse racing tells us anything about the future of American team sports. Horse racing is only interesting if you can see it live and can gamble - it's not a TV sport, there are no leagues or championships (aside from the three events that still get national TV coverage). Boxing didn't decline because of safety fears, but because of corruption and moving to a pay-per-view model for good fights.
If anything, I think they're representative of Americans turning from their local individual sports and nearby teams to following the major franchises, even when they're too far away to watch live. Don't see how that doesn't bode well for the NFL in particular. It's the only American sport that is inherently event viewing because of the way it's scheduled.

As far as barbarity and people turning away from the NFL, I don't see it happening. As above, we've known boxing can lead to dementia and Parkinson's for generations, but no one's talked about banning it. Instead we just embraced an even more viscerally brutal sport (but one that's probably safer for the athletes in the long term) (ie MMA).

Baseball is a much, much bigger deal today than it was in 1900 or even 1950, even though it's no longer the dominant pro sport.

allow one cyborg enhancement per player per team

caveat to boxing/NFL: yeah, boxers today are as often as not working-class first- or second-generation immigrants which may jibe with his idea that middle-class and up parents will discourage their sons from playing football, but boxers were never drawn from the middle class to start with.

also the death of the middle class makes the risk of middle class people not playing football less of a problem

- tax on all NFL/NBA/MLB tickets that goes directly to MLS teams (whch will have been locally nationalized along the lines of the Green Bay Packers) in order to let them buy first-rate players instead of washed-up dudes

i don't agree with that one at all!

i think the best long term hope for MLS is 'get more mexican americans'

tough, I'm the king

ha ok, have at it your highness

what if we turn nfl teams into 'clubs' so you have a soccer team you support along w/ the niners or whatever

that way you don't even get a choice, you sorta have to root for a soccer team

okay, instead of pimping the MLS, we use the ticket tax to build 5000-seat soccer stadiums in every town of 100k or more people and fund low-level pro leagues until soccer catches on and they can support themselves?
also okay with iatee's club idea

we could make soccer players wear helmets, also make the soccerball into an olive shape, also let soccer players pick up the ball and throw it

that marketing deal btw the yankees and manchester really lit americans aflame didn't it

added benefit, this is some WPA putting-America-to-work shit

well if manchester united renames themselves 'the yankees' I think that might still work out

Americans don't know where Manchester is.

you could do a special week during the nfl like the pink shoes or retro uniforms, but it's that they can't use their hands

surprise everyone turning in to the next Super Bowl by actually airing the MLS championship

tuning

please stop trying to force soccer on us king milo

it's either this or public executions of every member of the Walton family (retail empire, not TV), your call

- soccer is allowed in america but refs don't reward all the acting bullshit, maybe we borrow morbs' robot umps to decide what's a foul

- instead of penalty kicks people just play until someone scores

we could make soccer players wear helmets, also make the soccerball into an olive shape, also let soccer players pick up the ball and throw it

― flagp∞st (dayo), Thursday, February 23, 2012 1:39 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

great idea, you could even let them throw it downfield, instead of laterally or backwards

I thought you were a jets fan?

aside from handballs and out of bounds, soccer rules restricted to 'no blood, no foul'

Me? no, Bears. So on topic: ban the Bears from competing ever again until they get at least one offensive lineman who can walk and chew gum at the same time.

- las vegas gets teams for everything and they all play in some huge hotel casino stadium on the strip also every seat has a betting screen attached

i'm always slightly disturbed when ilx exercises its fascist tendencies.

anyway, i don't really have any crazy ideas--i'd prob contract ~4 teams from every league, ban public financing of stadiums, and basically force every team to demonstrate its economic viability on an annual basis. american sports don't have the infrastructure to do a relegation/promotion system but you may be able to kind of build it up gradually if you just kick failing franchises out of the league and allow people to create new ones.

also college athletes should be paid--salary determined as a function of the revenue each program generates.

i think american football should be played w/o pads

Also limited substitutions

about half the college football programs and almost all college everything else would go if you got rid of everything that wasn't revenue-generating

aside from handballs and out of bounds, soccer rules restricted to 'no blood, no foul'

Offsides really does have a point but if you went to this how long do you think it would take for a certain kind of player to punch himself in the nose during a tackle just to get a penalty/free kick?

wouldn't people score more without offsides?

about half the college football programs and almost all college everything else would go if you got rid of everything that wasn't revenue-generating

― iatee, Thursday, February 23, 2012 1:58 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no they can play for free/their scholarships

but if the prgm does generate revenue the players receive a huge cut

high school football coach salaries capped at 25% more than the highest paid teacher
college coach salaries capped at $200k

but being that revenue does already support other peoples' scholarships, in either case we'd either have to
a. have colleges spend even more money on sports
b. get rid of a lot of scholarships

wouldn't people score more without offsides?

Perhaps but the game wouldn't flow as well.

I think Am football players should be able to kick a live ball forward like in rugby. They're such tactical pussies they'd never do it, but it would make for some interesting 'fleaflicker' style shenanigans. I also love how in rugby you convert from wherever the try went in, i.e. if you scored near the sideline, that's where the conversion has to start. That would be some hilarious fu'd shit in football.

or 25% more than the average of all a school's teachers, so that they don't just pay one teacher a ton

TENNIS

- bring back the autumn indoor season
- fix the stupidities in the ranking system (eg 100 points for a 1R Slam win on the women's side, challengers being over-valued on the men's). maybe even go to a best-14 divisor system again
- fix the stupidities in the schedule to make the surface seasons more distinct
- change the mandatory WTA tournaments to events with history that players care about rather than dragging them to Shanghai and Madrid for a few desultory sets
- STIFFER PENALTIES for taking the piss with withdrawals and sacking off entire stretches of the season - like, not financial, but you have to play a certain number of tournaments to gain entry to Slams
- ENFORCE the goddamn existing rules about time allowed between points and coaching from the stands - if it's necessary to force coaches to watch from booths where the players can't see them, so be it
- end the farce that is on-court coaching on the WTA (mmm yes, it's s0 attractive to casual fans to see Wozniacki's father yell at her in Danish every few games)
- ideally i'd like at least one more week in between RG and Wimbledon but i can't see how this is ever gonna happen
- crack down on the ridiculous shrieking by enforcing the existing hindrance rule

high school football coach salaries capped at 25% more than the highest paid teacher

"This is Agnes, our newest theater arts teacher. She won the annual lottery and she'll make $450k this year."

but being that revenue does already support other peoples' scholarships, in either case we'd either have to
a. have colleges spend even more money on sports
b. get rid of a lot of scholarships

― iatee, Thursday, February 23, 2012 2:05 PM (56 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm fine with either but athletes who are generating revenue need to be directly compensated, i don't really care what happens after that.

i would not shorten the season (the men can GTFO with their whining when they just fill up their off seasons with lucrative exos anyway) and i would not make the women play 5 sets (the 5-sets vs 3-sets argument is like saying marathon runners deserve to be paid 100x more than sprinters, it's irrelevant)

no I agree I just think it'd prob be better done spinning the teams off almost completely xp

high school football coach salaries capped at 25% more than the highest paid teacher
college coach salaries capped at $200k

-------

or 25% more than the average of all a school's teachers, so that they don't just pay one teacher a ton

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Thursday, February 23, 2012 1:06 PM (2 minutes ago)

behind this 100%

Tennis, let crowds go wild during points and let players yell and shriek all they want.

Same with golf.

xxxp yeah might make sense

let crowds go wild during points

nooooo asshole crowds who won't STFU are the worst, crack down on them MORE

add more guns to everything

Golf seems to have headed in that direction since I quit watching, hasn't it? There was an event I flipped past a couple of weeks ago where a player was encouraging noise just before his tee shot. It makes more sense to play through a steady roar instead of having some derp-ass scream GET IN THE HOLE on your backswing.

Yeah, crowd noise is great in other sports, never understood why it was discouraged in tennis/golf. Is it because the players can't concentrate? Who cares? They are paid like a trillion dollars to do what they do, they should be able to deal with a raucous crowd. Maybe even feed off of it.

no way--one of the great parts of those sports is the ebb and flow of silence and crazy cheering!

it's because tennis and golf are snobby and elitist and DECORUM is important

it's amazing when a crowd goes ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO as a great point builds up but then it's reacting to the play - the loud crowds i hate are the nationalistic jerks who go overboard in cheering for their player

As NFL king:

-Local fans get 10% discount on ticket sales, or something to encourage/reward local support.
-Fan club members with 15+ years get discount on a box; 50+ year fanclub members get to see the game of their choice from a box for free.
-Teams can charge $$ for tickets but if they do then concessions are free.
-I like the idea of no beer inside the stadium. Or beer-drinkers kept to their own section. Idk. But make it so that families aren't afraid of bringing kids to games.
-NO TV TIMEOUTS GODDAMMIT
-Half an hour of advertising before and after the game or whatever, but jesus christ can we get some kind of momentum.
- Bob Costas is banned from commenting on football in any way shape or form. Baseball can have him.
-

NBA. Timeout cannot advanced the ball to half court.

10% discount on ticket sales

a large % of people there are already local! and I don't think 10% means much w/ current ticket prices

fine 50% then

for international fans

- teams are allowed to change literally any rule within the confines of american law, as long as they both agree to it before the game

if a team is playing in a publicly-funded stadium, citizens are entitled to free tickets every season (one game for the NFL, two for the NBA/NHL, four for MLB)

alternately, teams are responsible for funding their local school district's sports programs - Arlington built Jerryworld, the Cowboys can pay for the six high schools' football programs

will consider easing up on teams that actually play in the city they're named after, rather than pillaging the 'burbs

- every team that wins a football game is allowed to pillage one burb

Every sport, shorten the season.

Old footage of Madden commentary played at random throughout broadcast of any sport.

victors of any sport/competition allowed to bed opponents' wives/husbands

- the jet-pack pilot from Super Bowl 1 must start every superbowl. Or someone in that jetpack because it was cool as hell.

- powerful computer systems make every single strategic decision using math
- in person coaches replaced w/ america's best inspirational speakers

oh come on, dumb strategic decisions are the best!

I hate sports, so I would implement a programme I call 'Random Ball Replacement'.
Basketball - use a bowling ball instead.
Soccer - blancmange.
Cricket - raw eggs.
Baseball - hand grenades.
American Football - jelly and whipped cream.
Rugby - Ming vase.

Snooker - cubes, in order to make a long drawn out sport even longer and more drawn out.

Snooker: replace cues with lances

but dumb coaching decisions will be replaced in the sports narrative w/ 'bad inspirational speaking' - like maybe the coach should have saved his story about the boy who survived cancer for the 4th quarter

more baseball:

max 2 minutes btwn half-innings

no in-game TV interviews of managers/other uniformed personnel

scheduled doubleheaders

no Saturday night/Sunday night games

World Series homefield advantage to team w/ best record

wild card teams in Division Series get only one game of 5 at home

thought that said "scheduled bobbleheaders"

add: Tim McCarver and Joe Buck banned for life

whenever i play baseball sim games i always put expansion teams in Knoxville and Anchorage and then they both go broke in a couple years and have all minor league fill-ins on their rosters. this still seems more interesting than not having them

on a more serious note, computerized umpiring

more baseball:

max 2 minutes btwn half-innings

no in-game TV interviews of managers/other uniformed personnel

scheduled doubleheaders

no Saturday night/Sunday night games

World Series homefield advantage to team w/ best record

wild card teams in Division Series get only one game of 5 at home

― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Thursday, February 23, 2012 3:05 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

totally on board w/ all this

what are you gonna even do w/ all those minutes tho

only sorta skimming but wrt college sports fwiw: lots of big programs have "financial independence" between their athletics programs & academic programs

that being said, I am on board with culling them all, even though I love watching college football & basketball

also in case it hasn't been said, 5 point half court shot in basketball, & a 10 point spot that randomly appears here & there on the court. we've got the technology!

basically make the NBA more like NBA Jam

during heavy-rain NFL games, it will be mandatory for offense running to the end zone to drop and slide penguin-style into the end zone from the 10 yard line.

during snow NFL games, all touchdowns must be completed with a snowangel in the endzone.

Snowangels In The Outfield

:D

tennis: wooden rackets mandatory

aw man, did you ever play with one? wooden rackets SUCK dude

Baseball, no more wooden bats. The best technology only.

vampire bats

sorry

aw man, did you ever play with one? wooden rackets SUCK dude

― Janet Snakehole (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, February 23, 2012 4:39 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes, but im terrible. All i know is that watching Borg-McEnroe back in the day was lot more fun that watching matches with 70 aces. im not saying for the average joe, im saying for the pros

while we are on that, how about in pro golf, making everyone play the same ball.

how about in pro golf making everybody play from carts with no brakes

xxpost idk, my parents both played competitive tennis when I was growing up started out with wood and moved to graphite...they both cursed wood because it was hell on your muscles/arms, no shock absorbtion at all, pretty brutal.

but McEnroe Borg was definitely <3

- turn progolf into pro minigolf

hybridize it -- same distances but windmills, clown's mouths, etc

golf just needs to be banned

golf can be played but no-one can talk about it. EVER.

harness racing: substitute horses for lambs and harness jockeys for kittens.

Would be happy with Dr Morbius as Commissioner Of Baseball, as long as this does not lead to the Mets mysteriously winning the World Series every year.

Lex also OTM re tennis except I would also ban the practice of storing towels with the ballboy/girl. USE A FUCKING SWEATBAND AND STOP WASTING TIME.

fine for playing the ball off the deck

restore the MLB all-star game to an exhibition w/o any postseason ramifications.

Boxing didn't decline because of safety fears, but because of corruption and moving to a pay-per-view model for good fights.
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Thursday, 23 February 2012 18:17 (Yesterday) Permalink

"corruption?" The Mob used to run the sport in its golden age!

I would say "safety concerns" are the biggest reason for the decline of the sport if you expand its meaning to include the decline of Ali's health, the televising of Mancini-Kim etc.

my boxing changes:

go back to 15 rounds for championship bouts

reduce the number of weight divisions to 12

find some way to have fights from foreign countries shown on american TV

lex's tennis rules otm

but rising safety concerns don't square w/ the rising popularity of MMA

i will push any and all tech that helps wipe out gamesmanship in association football

- laser precision 10-yard free kick distances with auto yellow card for anyone putting a toe over it
- auto yellow card for penalty encroaching or keeper leaving his line at a penalty
- nano material that detects any shirt-pulling
- goal line and offside technology
- a fucking clock that stops when the ball is out of play. seriously
- proper "looks at this cheating prick" naming, shaming and banning of all diving (lie detectors for debatable calls)
- lie detectors for fake time wasting injuries as well ("do you need treatment?" "yes" BUZZZZZ "aw unlucky you just got sent off!")

Football (Soccerball)

+A financial fair play system that wasn't a fucking joke
+Sort out ticket prices like the way Germany works but EVERYWHERE
+Make every Premiership club academy have to raise its standards to 'centres of excellence' ala Germany. Similarly, change parachute payments to be about infastructure.
+Any racist should be shot from a cannon. A similar half time show can be worked with ultras.
+4th Official allowed to see what would be shown on TV and is allowed to work from it - giving refs as much knowledge as any schlub watching at home.

Wrestling
+Give WWE to Jim Ross.
+Give TNA to Paul Heyman.
+Find some marketing genius to bring together all the indies ala the NWA and some rich fan wiling to trust that guy into making it a genuine threat to WWE.
+Someone give Flair the fucking money he needs in a decent pension and let him bloody retire already.
+Blacklist Bischoff, Hogan, Russo, Nash and anyone who played a significant role in the demise in WCW. Russo and Nash have been fired in the past year, so progress is happening hopefully.
+If someone gets fucked up before going to the ring ala Jeff Hardy, blacklist them from the industry (instead of making them your #2 babyface after they get out of prison well done TNA).

but rising safety concerns don't square w/ the rising popularity of

― iatee, Friday, February 24, 2012 8:57 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

MMA doesn't have a history of nationally televised ring death, or beloved stars who are vegetables.

I would say "safety concerns" are the biggest reason for the decline of the sport if you expand its meaning to include the decline of Ali's health, the televising of Mancini-Kim etc.

^mancini-kim happened in '82. Boxing was HUGE in late '80s, early '90s with the rise of Tyson, the Hearns-Leonard-Hagler regime, etc. I agree with milo z. Also the alphabet soup of federations has contributed, though this may qualify as "corruption"

^mancini-kim happened in '82. Boxing was HUGE in late '80s, early '90s with the rise of Tyson, the Hearns-Leonard-Hagler regime, etc. I agree with milo z. Also the alphabet soup of federations has contributed, though this may qualify as "corruption"

― You're a notch, I'm a legend (Bill Magill), Friday, February 24, 2012 9:49 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Mancini-Kim helped end 15 rounders, and in my opinion had a lot to do with the big 3 networks souring on boxing. Ali's health declining, Benn-McClellan, these things add up.

Boxing wasn't HUGE in the 80s. It was clearly fading from what it had been. Tyson saved it for 3 or 4 years, but he was just a phenomenon. If another Tyson came along today it would be a gigantic deal too.

there are other reasons why boxing could have lost its appeal outside of that tho. like the existence of violent-sport alternatives.

oh sure, but safety concerns are a big reason why those alternatives are attractive!

but rising safety concerns don't square w/ the rising popularity of MMA

By corruption I mean the watering down of the meaning of belts, big promoters pushing fights between members of their stable in order to keep all the cash for themselves, etc..

MMA is safer in the short term too.

I dunno, I really don't hear 'dementia pugilistica' from non- or former- fans as a reason they don't watch. It's more about the heavyweight division being so weak, so many belts and weight classes making everything confusing, and big fights costing $65 on HBO with undercards that no one but die-hards have heard of (and are often terrible fights). One thing the UFC gets dead right is having several name fights on each card (and using the power of a monolithic organization to promote even non-champs).

if MMA had anything like the death rate of boxing it would be a big problem for the sport. xp

it's not all about fans though. Why does the heavyweight division suck so much? Could it have something to do with the most beloved heavyweight in the US being a sad monument to the dangers of the sport?

In the long term, MMA is much safer. Broken arms heal easier than brain damage

getting kicked/kneed in the head < getting punched in the head with a cushioned glove iyam but i take yr point re long term repeated damage

getting kicked in the head and KO'd in 2 minutes>getting punched 300 times in the head and suffering multiple concussions

the brutality of MMA knockouts is quite visceral, but quick, brutal KOs aren't what kill people. It's the sustained punishment of repeated blows.

another thing about mma is that there are no 10 counts. 10 counts heighten the danger of boxing greatly because it allows fighters to fight on despite being concussed.

baseball:
if a reliever comes in, blows a lead and the team rallies back - fucker does not get the win. the original pitcher who left with the lead gets it.

Would wager it's less Ali than athletic Americans who are 6'4" 225 can make millions more playing tight end.

wins don't really make sense either way

also: reliever is tarred and feathered.

xposts

ya, i know.

baseball: wins only exist in the nl and the pitcher has to hit the runs in to get a win

Ha! 100% behind.

also: DH's shal have to run sprints while his team is fielding.

burpees can be substituted for sprints

overall:
no public funding for stadiums
set rules to encourage packers-style ownership structures

hockey:
ban fighting
international-size rinks in the nhl
regulation/ot win = 3 pts, shootout win = 2 pts, ot/shootout loss = 1 pt
shorter regular season with at least home-and-home with every team
smaller goalie pads

nfl:
something that outlaws using helmets as weapons -- back to leather?
college rules in ot
super bowl played at home stadium of team w/ better record
no pro bowl
no tv timeout after kickoffs
matt millen banished
contracts guaranteed

ncaa hoops:
no at-large tourney teams under .500 in their own conferences
three-point line back a little more

ncaa football:
16-team tourney in december

baseball:
relegation/promotion w/ triple-a
more revenue sharing (threat of relegation should keep teams from sitting on shared $)
draft is either abolished or extended to cover everyone, not just usa/canada/puerto rico
if a player does not attend the all-star game, he is not an all-star
all-star game does not affect playoffs
hall of fame/mvp/cy young/rookie voters consist of me
dave parker in the hall of fame, just because he was the fucking cobra
full strike zone enforced, ie up to the letters

all sports need a trophy that is passed from champion to champion, ideally one that can be drunk out of, like the stanley cup

baseball: no roster expansion in september

agree w/all your hockey ideas

ncaa hoops: scholarships are 4 years -- so you can have a one and done, but you're not re-awarding that scholarship for 3 more years

don't tell bill mcgill xp

eh you are king of america and you are still okay w/ a one and done college basketball system?

Pay college players.

yes xp

it's easy to say 'pay college players' but now that you are king (and not mookie, who is obv not ready to be king if he thinks a one and done college bb system should exist) you have to work out the details. how much? who?

I need to hire a royal financial advisor to figure that out.

actually i would prefer letting the nba draft hs players again, but then i would ban aau and nationalize basketball training

tbh i think college sports should not be such a *thing*, but i'm not quite sure how to go about it. eliminate scholarships?

mookie I accept yr nfl proposals, hail king of NFL

NO college ot rules u guys

I am against all ot rules where they basically start playing an entirely different sport to decide the winner. 'you guys are equally good at soccer, so we will decide this with a game that is not soccer, and then we will pretend one of you was better at soccer'

college ot sorta does that. I think all ots should just be 'add time til someone wins / people start dying'

nfl challenges should be decided from the booth -- it takes long enough without the ref having to go under the hood on the sidelines

'add time til someone wins / people start dying'

this is why nhl playoff overtime is incredible, but you can't really do that during the regular season i don't think. and the nfl is a game that uniquely favors the team that gets the ball first.

put some complicated sensors in the ball / on the field / on players and have computers decide all spots rulings

I am sure the technology exists

google is making internet glasses, we can use radars or something to decide touchdowns imo

'add time til someone wins / people start dying'

i shall make this law for all world cup knockout stages btw

also i may require that referees in all sports dress and gesture like those in australian rules football

*twirls hands, points finger guns*

- nfl players are allowed to wear google-internet glasses when they come out and eye-google relevant strategies / youtubes during the google

err during 'the game'

at the very least qbs should have a tablet computer as their wrist playbook

the super bowl shall be decided by ed reed and troy polamolu fighting to the death

john riggins, chucky and the ghost of howard cosell in the booth

during college halftimes there is a judge panel that decides which college's band was more impressive and that team gets an extra touchdown

soon HBCUs will rule the landscape

reg season football overtime should be 1 15-minute quarter, no sudden death, if there's a tie then there's a tie.

Can there be a bowl game just for mascots

iatee what's your ncaa hoops plan

turned into minor league nba w/ promotion etc.
paid atheletes can take classes if they want, don't have to if they don't
teams that can't break even go away

nah fuc that

what about dreaded single-elimination tho

I think march madness is about as long and interesting as most people want it to be

should college athletes have to meet any academic standards?

like I think people are more attracted to the idea of a massive single elimination tournament than they are to college basketball, my evidence for this is the rest of the year

not in my kingdom they don't xp

- 3 points for 50+ field goal

Re: MMA safety

It obviously helps that MMA is only really 15 years old that you don't have the deaths or obvious stories of mental health. Also sports have obviously learnt a lot about concussionsand how to look after yourself day-to-day and why dudes in the past have ended up in such bad condition. But MMA is fucking brutal and it will have its stories eventually. I guarantee it. Do I really need to list how shoot fights or stiff working have caused so many fucked up problems in wrestling? MMA is the same but dudes actively trying and encouraged to hurt each other. Bret Hart strokes are gonna happen, it is inevitable. (Bret Hart was shoot kicked in the head by Goldberg and it ended his career and the kick was blamed for his stroke and a decades worth of health problems.)

yeah but being that people seem cool w/ replacing one violent sport with another there's nothing that would prevent another sport from replacing MMA when people started feeling bad about the health stuff. and I dunno, the sport is just so clearly bad for somebody's body that I'm not sure anything short of someone dying on live tv is gonna shock people.

one thing we hope is that people decide that robot violence is as exciting as human violence and have robots fight each other

not sure what pro wrestling's problems have to do with MMA

they are both forms of entertainment that involve big dudes getting hurt

prob have a lot of audience overlap too

Like, head kicks are fairly uncommon (they leave the kicker in the worst position to get taken down, even if they connect) and aren't that powerful compared to elbows or fists to the head.

don't see how 'audience overlap' is relevant to physical injuries suffered by people involved

we're talking about people being turned off by health risks, . somebody who can't stand watching mma for that reason also wouldn't be watching wrestling.

a hoy hoy was directly linking wrestling injuries and fatalities to MMA
It's only if MMA gains a track record of deaths, etc. - and there's no logical reason to connect pro wrestling and MMA on that. Boxing actually makes sense.

NBA: No team-specific contracts, pay is all incentive based, year to year. Every year, a draft is held at the beginning of the year to divvy up the entire league's players to specific teams. The order of the fantasy draft is determined by a poker tourney held the weekend before draft weekend, played by the GMs.

After the Finals ends each season, the players are thrown back in the hopper along with the new declares for the draft, and teams are reassembled.

well it's not out of the question that someone could die in a mma match

MLB: Regular season is 10 games long, playoffs last 8 months

well it's not out of the question that someone could die in a mma match

― iatee, Saturday, February 25, 2012 5:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I believe there has been one official death in a sanctioned mma fight.

There are about a dozen boxing deaths every year.

"official death" dunno what the hell I mean by that sry

big john mccarthy gets pissed sometimes

and re: fatalities, marathons kill a few people every year but no one really talks about it.

By and large I think people are more bothered by long-term health effects (dozens or hundreds of people with head trauma syndromes, etc.) than isolated fatalities.

if millions of people watched marathons and sorta got some pleasure from seeing people suffer along the way, then they might feel bad about being a part of the process when those peope died.

All sports:
officiating transparency

NHL:

Eliminate shootout; old timey OT rules.
Eliminate gay trapezoid
move to ITL-size rink <-- I was on the fence abt this for a while but really it's all safety. The players literally have nowhere to go on the rink w/o getting killed every second.
74 (ish) game season; All-star game eliminated outright, forever.
Eliminate 4 teams.
BONUS: NHL players still allowed in olympics but season will not stop for them.

MLB
Robot balls/strikes
Old timey pointless all-star game
Allow trading of draft picks

NFL:
College OT rules ffs.
No TV to's after kickoffs
Major and immediate equipment overhaul
Extended health care/pensions for players w/ "X" number of minutes played (vs. "games"), tiered if need be.

NCAA:
NCAA is eliminated outright
Players are paid a living wage, using time cards (lol) if need be.
I like everyone else's coach salary limits.

NCAAFootball:
True playoff

NBA:
4 team contraction

MLB trading draft picks is an A+ diea

RE: NFL equipment --- if you've ever picked up a regulation helmet that thing is fucking HEAVY. I feel like if you cut the weight/density by half you could improve the performance AND, since F=ma then...

There was someone floating the idea that modern helmets/facemasks have been a major cause of the head issues in the NFL. No headhunting if all you've got on your noggin is a bit of leather.

of course, the average player wasn't 245 pounds in 1950 either.

I think you can make steps in the right direction w/ helmets but at the end of the day concussions aren't really preventable without seriously adjusting the game itself

gentle hugs instead of tackles

they would find a way to fuck that up

ooh: if you make a tackle, you have to then tickle the player til he laughs.

Mark Cuban must be allowed to purchase a team in any league he wishes

There was someone floating the idea that modern helmets/facemasks have been a major cause of the head issues in the NFL. No headhunting if all you've got on your noggin is a bit of leather.

of course, the average player wasn't 245 pounds in 1950 either.

Also, the incidence of concussions in rugby is possibly higher than most people expect -- I've read that they've been seriously under-reported prior to widespread CTE knowledge.

not sure what pro wrestling's problems have to do with MMA

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Saturday, 25 February 2012 17:15 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Really? You don't see that they are essentially the same thing, that they have massive overlap in fighters, training styles, fighting styles and so on? And then that if MMA is the version where people legit TRY to hurt each other that it might have a similar knock on effect or have similar injuries (or worse) that has been seen in pro wrestling where they don't win by trying to beat the shit out of each other? Oh and then I just use one example of pro wrestling health shit from shoot fighting based on a dude (Goldberg) who styled himself on early UFC and encouraged MMA training early in his career. But I guess they have nothing to do with each other, despite having champions in both sports (Lesnar and Shamrock spring to mind).

a hoy hoy, I'm not seeing the connection between trying to pretend to kick someone in his head but accidentally actually kicking him in the head and genuinely trying to kick someone in the head.

and basically force every team to demonstrate its economic viability on an annual basis

Lemme interrogate this a bit. Gladwell (lol shuttup) sez that pro sports franchises aren't businesses so much as luxury items, like a yacht or some Damien Hirst artripoff, which aren't ontologically disposed towards profitability; further, the economic impact of a franchise on the surrounding city isn't so much stimulative as it is redistributive (I know not your point here but it's a related notion, I think?).

as soon as you shut off any and all support from taxpayers, teams don't need to demonstrate their economic viability, they'll either have it or they won't. part of the reason why franchises can operate as luxury items and not businesses is the fact that there's a limited supply of them - a more open model is less rewarding to the lazy rich dudes.

(but more rewarding to rich dudes who are willing to splurge on their team)

Really? You don't see that they are essentially the same thing, that they have massive overlap in fighters, training styles, fighting styles and so on?

A head kick landing flush in wrestling is one thing - because the event is designed to be entertainment, where those punches and kicks are pulled and the guy getting kicked isn't actually prepared to take one flush. And the fights are scripted to have huge, dangerous moves (lots of head-kicking, jumping off ropes, etc.) that cannot and do not happen in sanctioned MMA.

mma is not designed to be entertainment?

as soon as you shut off any and all support from taxpayers, teams don't need to demonstrate their economic viability, they'll either have it or they won't. part of the reason why franchises can operate as luxury items and not businesses is the fact that there's a limited supply of them - a more open model is less rewarding to the lazy rich dudes.

intersting! You would make an excellent Minister of Finance when I am king.

What I didn't get the first time I read the Gladwell and still don't get is why having a very finite number of teams leads to them being luxury items. Does the scarcity of resources (players, arenas/stadia, etc.) play into it?

Morbs-level pedantry. Yes, all pro sports are designed to be entertainment in addition to competition.

Pro wrestling isn't a sport and is designed to be entertainment - characters, scripts, etc..

well I wouldn't say the limited supply of teams necessary leads to them being luxury items - they can serve as luxury items in europe too. but anything that only exists in a limited quantity is gonna be a good trophy for someone with too much money.

milo I think you are taking offense at people comparing wrestling to mma as sports when really people are comparing them because they are monetized brutality.

Uh, no: "Really? You don't see that they are essentially the same thing, that they have massive overlap in fighters, training styles, fighting styles and so on?" A hoy hoy, who I keep responding to, has been drawing direct parallels between the two in terms of action and outcomes. You should read his posts.

Wrestling isn't really "monetized brutality" - it's an action movie. People don't actually think they're seeing people try to hurt each other, any more than they think Arnold is shooting people in Terminator.
MMA and boxing and football? Yeah, those are truly brutal, because they're real.

wrestling is monetized brutality because the process involves people destroying their bodies, that makes it 'real' in the same way that a stunt man who dies on a movie set 'actually dies'

a hoy hoy, I'm not seeing the connection between trying to pretend to kick someone in his head but accidentally actually kicking him in the head and genuinely trying to kick someone in the head.

― omar 13337713 (Leee), Sunday, 26 February 2012 21:44 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Both involve a dude getting smacked in the head. Also pro wrestling kicks are still kicks, it is just that usually dudes can know how to react 'and how to fall', which is an advantage you don't get in mma, with muay thai kicks and so on designed to fuck a dude up.

All of these are wrong, though, it's almost like you've never actually watched MMA. Lesnar is pretty much the only connection you've got - and he just retired, in large part because his wrestling career had nothing to do with modern MMA.

A head kick landing flush in wrestling is one thing - because the event is designed to be entertainment, where those punches and kicks are pulled and the guy getting kicked isn't actually prepared to take one flush. And the fights are scripted to have huge, dangerous moves (lots of head-kicking, jumping off ropes, etc.) that cannot and do not happen in sanctioned MMA.

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Sunday, 26 February 2012 22:31 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I've watched plenty of mma and shit that can cause concussions and other stuff (my og point) happens all the fucking time and my point was i know this because the same stuff happens in wrestling (and boxing). beating a dude till he cannot get up again is going to have long term effects on the body.

Also Lesnar is nowhere near the only connection I've got. He retired because of neither wrestling or MMA by the way, but because his intestines had to be ripped out because of a virus. MMA and UFC is about seeing whether a wrestler could fight a karate champ and so on. And then I don't see how you can think there isn't a massive overlap in training style, especially when it comes to brawling, submission specialists, amateur mat-style grappling, only a fucking lunatic would go in to the octogon without learning how to properly bump etc.

It seems crazy that anyone would think that the crazy health problems related to boxing or wrestling or other martial arts won't happen with MMA. People are a lot better conditioned today to boxers who got fucked up in the 70s, but both involve dudes today taking a fucking amount of punishment to the body and will have consequences.

People don't actually think they're seeing people try to hurt each other, any more than they think Arnold is shooting people in Terminator.
MMA and boxing and football? Yeah, those are truly brutal, because they're real.

What 'people' think they see and what happens when someone punches you in the face and breaks your nose, or wraps their arms around your face until you lose blood to the brain until you tap out are two different things, fyi.

Like I don't know how much more I can clearly say it but let me do it again: I'm not talking about Bruiser Brody getting stabbed to death or what happens to New Jacks body when he jumps 40 feet to the ground or whether it is real or not because they pre-determine finishes. I'm saying that there is a history of fighting giving anyone involved major health problems and MMA will be no different. I could have just as easily used boxing as a frame of reference but as people upthread dismissed that as potential for similar repercutions, I thought I'd throw in another similar sport. (And whether you believe it or not, when a punch is thrown in wrestling, dudes get hit hard in the face and the only 'fake' aspect is that dudes are trained how to react to that punch.)

I've watched plenty of mma and shit that can cause concussions and other stuff (my og point) happens all the fucking time and my point was i know this because the same stuff happens in wrestling (and boxing). beating a dude till he cannot get up again is going to have long term effects on the body.

Also Lesnar is nowhere near the only connection I've got. He retired because of neither wrestling or MMA by the way, but because his intestines had to be ripped out because of a virus.

MMA and UFC is about seeing whether a wrestler could fight a karate champ and so on. And then I don't see how you can think there isn't a massive overlap in training style, especially when it comes to brawling, submission specialists, amateur mat-style grappling, only a fucking lunatic would go in to the octogon without learning how to properly bump etc.

It seems crazy that anyone would think that the crazy health problems related to boxing or wrestling or other martial arts won't happen with MMA. People are a lot better conditioned today to boxers who got fucked up in the 70s, but both involve dudes today taking a fucking amount of punishment to the body and will have consequences.

Pro wrestling training is as much about bodybuilding as it is technique. Jiu-jitsu, boxing, Muay Thai - all equally important to wrestling in MMA and all things fighters train in - are non-existent, because they have nothing to do with pro wrestling.

Wrestling's health problems are far more about steroid use and the touring schedule as they are about the wrestling itself.
MMA undoubtedly has health consequences, the discussion was about severity - and wrestling is still not a relevant touchstone.

WRESTLING IS ABOUT MORE THAN WWE FYI. Watch Eddie Edwards (trained by Dan Severn btw) v. Davey Richards and then tell me it is all about steroids and have nothing similar going on to MMA, kick boxing, muay thai etc.

Seriously, get off your high fucking horse. I bring up legit issues and you start talking about how it is like an action movie. You dismiss Lesnar as doing nothing that matters between amateur mat wrestling and MMA which is so fucking condescending, as if the massive amounts of training and fighting experience were for nothing. And then oh look I bring up more legit connections and you start talking about steroids. Like gtfo. I said it isn't just about getting punched in the head but brutal submission techniques, which makes mma more like wrestling than boxing and just maybe you can understand how that might be a relevant touchstone? Maybe just read what I say once before acting like a dick because you don't like pro wrestling?

lol ok arguing on the internet is stupid and i need to stop. But lastly: didn't a dude die in ring in a high profile kick-boxing bout last year? It isn't a sport I follow as closely but surely the connections there could show the potential severity.

Wrestling's health problems are far more about steroid use and the touring schedule as they are about the wrestling itself.

Uhh, wrestling's health problems are far more about painkiller abuse (e.g. Eddie Guerrero) and repeated trauma to the head (Chris Benoit), hmmm that last one sounds familiar.

Pro Wrestling: replace body blows with food fights.

Guerrero's style more MMA like, Benoit was famous for, umm, using a diving headbutt and headbutts are illegal in most MMA.

Benoit was a shoot/submission specialist! The flying headbutt was just one of his finishers.

You know what I mean. It is the move most often connected to his mental instability and has since been banned as a move at many places. His body was already messed up but the head trauma was what made him be crazy and evil and he isn't exactly your stereotypical case study but the exception.

ncaa: conferences must be small enough that all schools play each other once in football and home-and-away in basketball

We're on the same side! I'm just correcting the idea that steroids are the main risk-factor in pro wrestling. xp

:D

MMA - 3 rounds, 15 minutes each round will be the standard fight format

MLS - No more expansion teams unless Arizona gets one.

EPL - Play late-afternoon and night games only so I don't have to get up early in the morning.

American College Football - FFS its time for a real Chamnpionship.

Also I really like Jimmy's ideas for the NHL...

they should move hockey to the summer olympics, so you don't have to interrupt the nhl season once every 4 years