local businesses with horribly formed "names"

"dog barfs" (mobile dog hydrobaths service)
"rug rage" (floor covering specialists)
"final pest solutions" (pest control)
"ashmore exhaust no muff too tuff" (car wholesaling and motor vehicle parts manufacturing)

also there is a florist which has "GIVE HER ONE TONIGHT" in huge letters on the side of the building
and a plumber's van with "I'LL FIND YOUR WET SPOT" painted on it

from my hometown:
"24 Hour Custom Slaughter"

there used to be a shabby mexican restaurant called 'la cucaracha' but it is gone now
and an old motel called 'casablanca' that was painted pink

what is custom slaughter?

It was a place that would come cut up your livestock.

"La Cucaracha" reminds me of the Boise restaurant "The El Gringo," which advertised itself as "home of the six foot burrito."

The Framing Dragon

someone should set up a worldwide chain of creative advice bureaus for people who think things sound catchy.

Cutting Remarks - a hairdresser, presumably one who gives you insult-worthy haircuts

Nails That Are Noticeable

there is a gas station near our house, located on cutting blvd, called CUTTING GAS.

In Bremerton, Washington there is (was) a dog grooming place called Doggy Style

I guess that's pretty well formed, just in somewhat poor taste

In my town some bright bulb chose to open an asian fusion cuisine restaurant, naming it: fuAsian. <-- no joke.

The Framing Dragon

please tell me this is run by framers of Chinese descent

fuAsian is just plain hopeless.

There is a shop specialising in Indian confectionary here in Glasgow called "Decent Sweets". Ironically their sweets are actually delicious.

i admire their modesty.

Absolutely! It always makes me smile. In Glasgow "Nae Bad Sweets" would have been even better though.

http://cdn.randomfunnypicture.com/pictures/1771bad-restaurant-name-15.jpg

The drive-thru bottle shop at the Dick Whittington tavern down the road is called DICK LIQUOR

JIZZ FASHION

there's also Lick Her Store on oxford st in sydney

There was also a Big Duck n Fish company store in Malvern - it made big plates/ceramics.

electricsound posted this the other day on another thread:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2328/2444755092_9296a89496.jpg

There was a pub here that they did a horrible job of updating and unfortunately they renamed it Fubar

Hahahahah estela :D

This is my favorite named shop ever though some might think it horrible (THEY WOULD BE WRONG). In London by Waterloo station:

http://www.london-se1.co.uk/restaurants/images/040129_fishcotheque.jpg

The Jazz Butcher agrees...

http://flashback.co.uk/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/l/f/lfb20934.jpg

http://www.hifi-writer.com/blog/graphics/sneeds.jpg

i just had a pang that maybe this thread should be deindexed because some of these businesses are quite small and probably run by perfectly fine hardworking people who might end up glum when they google their businesses hoping to find good reviews from the public. so if a mod reads this can you please do that?

meanwhile, "the groper and his misses" is a terrible name for a fish and chip shop.

OMG Taco

they have a "WTF Menu" where the "WTF" stands for "Wow, That's Fresh"

i-cream (an ice cream shop)

I've always thought that a little more thought should've been put into the name of Raper RV. Yes, I understand that it's your last name, but still.

'Fishcoteque' always makes me smile when I cycle past, there's that taxidermy place around Angel called 'Get Stuffed'

There's a builder's van I see in Exeter occasionally which has the legend "For a big erection, call 01392 [etc]". sadly I think the 'company' name is just his name appended with 'builder'.

There used to be a kebab shop in Leeds called Kebabylon, iirc.

In Northern Finland there is a swamp area whose name is "Äteritsiputeritsipuolilautatsijänkä"; it comes from the Sami language spoken by the indigenous people of the area. In the neighbouring town, someone thought it would be a funny idea to name a bar (which has since closed) after the swamp:

http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiedosto:Ateritsiputeritsipuolilautatsibaari.jpg

According to Wikipedia, they didn't answer with the phone with the full name of the bar, just "Äteritsi bar".

Sorry, the pic didn't work in the previous post:

http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiedosto:Ateritsiputeritsipuolilautatsibaari.jpg

Eh, looks like Wikipedia doesn't support hotlinking anymore.

Hopefully this one works:

http://www.veikkovasama.net/blogikuvat/baarin_nimi.jpg

in stokey
http://noisydecentgraphics.typepad.com/design/images/2008/01/31/dsc00125.jpg

haha

http://images.travelpod.com/users/emmab/italy.1206088380.big_tits_restaurantx_tampere.jpg

Here's another Finnish restaurant, though I guess it's more "painfully honest" than "horribly formed".

it comes from the Sami language spoken by the indigenous people of the area

I've always thought that a little more thought should've been put into the name of Raper RV.

I spent two years living in Missouri as a kid, was inundated with Tom Raper RV commercials ALL THE TIME.

there is one of those quasi-apple store reseller places near me named St0rmfr0nt which bugs the shit out of me. Would you open a store without googling the name to see if, oh I dunno, if might have some bad connotations first?

Maybe they only sell white Power Macs?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxoD_1I6S_A

this is about a shop on the other side of town although the company seems to be based in Shropshire and has a number of outlets in the UK

Lol at sellfridges. Crackle box - fishcoteque always made me smile too.

There's a textiles shop in town called 'Basket of Threads'. Before that, it was 'The Sewing Machine Box'. Ouch.

really grim chip shop called "fish plaice", looking at the pun on the shopfront is like seeing the ghost of a child in a dying old man's angry gnarled face.

it's "flickers" apparently
http://static.whoseview.com/files/1272475646051IMG1094739120.png

camden strikes again
http://statics.192.com/estreet/original/large/1219/12193176.jpg

Dublin classics:

http://images.travelpod.com/users/paulandjenny/1.1299866393.knobs-and-knockers.jpg

http://50percenthuman.com/blog/wp-content/gallery/people/lino-ritchie.jpg

there's a thai restaurant here called THAI COON, and it makes me a little uncomfortable

http://www.anglingfish.net/images/bait-sign-master-baits12.JPG

swear there used to be a tackle shop of this name in Hull, too.

not "horribly formed" tho imo

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/the-green-mama/assets_c/2010/01/bebybaby-thumb-572xauto-66304.jpg

i mean clearly it's a popular gag

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_isUvlzkZPIQ/TJuyad4f6HI/AAAAAAAAG5c/bWtVesg1jSw/s1600/838134437_bdc3e6b68e.jpg

http://static.whoseview.com/files/1272615200290IMG0556417868.png

in peckham, used to pass it on bus to work....

I can think of a couple in Toronto - tbh I kinda love when shops go this route:

Grateful Head (hair salon)
Snakes & Lattes (coffee shop w/many board games you can play on)

and this doesn't have a pun in general but it makes me lol everytime: Shorty Shack (womens' clothing store) which is close to Ghetto Stylez(!!)

OH!!!
And north of Toronto, closer to cottage country, there is a place that makes decks and assorted cottage furnishings, called Deck in a Box!

oops I messed that up slightly

http://www.dockinabox.com/images/storefront.jpg

Maybe not appropriate for this thread, but I really despise the trend of naming business "Zen," e.g. Zen Hair Salon, Zen Massage, Zen Drywall, etc.

lol @ deck in a box

knobs and knockers and lino ritchie also great

there was an excellent scaffolder's name "pole positions".

much better than, for example, another one i saw called "poles apart" - no thanks.

Chickpizz!

ya that one is my fav so far

http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~landau/about.1.jpg

kosher wine

There is a local bloke who does mowing, raking, etc. for the rich people around here. I see his old beat-up truck parked on the street, usually half-blocking traffic. Emblazoned on his truck doors: ESAD'S YARD MAINTENANCE.

?

http://www.liloia.com/images/peabody.gif

2 locations! salem and peabody, ma.

Eat Shit And Die Yard Maintenance xxp

This is actually a national chain: http://www.sweatshop.co.uk/

2 locations! salem and peabody, ma.

― i think this is serious (elmo argonaut), Thursday, March 29, 2012 10:58 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I almost bought a bunghole shirt the last time I was in salem. I didn't know what a bunghole was until recently and always thought it was someone's unfortunate last name.

the was a hair salon near my old place called follicles and a wine store called fermented grapes, i found them both a bit technical

oh oh and a restaurant called fish and crustaceans

I am always bemused by the memory of a roadside cafe that has since closed, named (as far as anyone could tell from the enormous signage) EAT.

http://hilton.org.uk/facade/cambridge-eat.jpg

stands for 'excellence and taste'9 maybe not anymore).

anyway more interestingly:

http://tanksalot.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/thyme-to-eat-cafe.jpg?w=600&h=398

ooh there is a paint your own pottery place called Your Fired.. as well. I know technically it's not grammatically correct but it DRIVES ME INSANE.

(er, technically not INcorrect)

I never liked "Eggspectations"

salon names provide a rich vein of forced puns

This is an imaginary one but I always fancied opening up shops called "occult bakery" and "occult drycleaners"

http://statics.192.com/estreet/original/large/1045/10457006.jpg

short cuts, obv, but OH FFS next door also

tbh i don't think anyone's ever gonna beat the 'neutring stops aids in cats' shop:

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/55/137639493_b1dce51087_z.jpg

there was little salon i saw recently named WE'RE HAIR, it just doesn't set right with me, because it's a pun on "we're here" which isn't really even a thing? plus they are saying that they ARE hair?

wow wow wow @ cat neutering place

also a nail salon called GET NAILED

this is in marylebone

http://static.whoseview.com/files/1273095385313IMG0509146271.png
you can't quite read it here but this is the company

http://www.goaway.co.uk/index.php?page=ABOUT_US

it's meant to be a sentence, i think - but the way they coloured it made it look as though they thought of 2 puns but only had one shop and so they are tagging both names on.

Most terrible does-not-make-sense pun name is A Salt & Battery in NYC

you use salt and batter as ingredients for fish n chips come on

asphalt and rubbery?

this sign in fitzrovia
http://pic.epicfail.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/sign-fail-weve-got-crabs-downstairs.jpg

In West Memphis: Hair "I" Am

akin to the We're Hair mentioned above. Don't know why the I's in quotes. Emphasis?

Also had a Doggy Style groomer up the street, but they finally apparently figured it out and changed the name to something bland.

http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr222/Chass3ur/laundro.jpg

one of my go-to liquor stores is right on the Trail of Tears here in North Little Rock. It's called ... Firewater. Crossed spears feature in the signage.
http://southxmidwest.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/firewater.jpg?w=640&h=640

many pho permutations- locally there's "1 2 3 Pho," but i've also seen pics of "pho-king delicious"

in avon next to beaver creek- "beaver liquors"

Wife Savor, eh you what?

ive heard every thai restaurant in seattle has a pun based name

every time i go to toronto i discover a new one, my fave is "i feel like crepe"

http://simpsonswiki.net/w/images/thumb/a/ae/YouThaiNow.png/800px-YouThaiNow.png

Everyone seems to hate "ChickPizz" which is round the corner from my flat.

I've always liked 'Mixed Blessings Bakery' on Walworth Road.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3531/3745949916_0bbff4ed31.jpg

in brooklyn

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqszq39LU41qe3h33o1_500.jpg

^ I would eat there, every day, every meal.

funkadeli is a p awesome name

"i'm headed out, do you need anything from the funkadeli?"

funkadeli has some health violations...

http://www.cleanchow.com/Restaurants/NY-Brooklyn-FUNKADELI-CORP

not illadvised but fucking annoying: there's a street in Sacramento called Howe Ave, and I swear every business on that bloody street is some version of HOWE ABOUT SPOONS, HOWE ABOUT COOKING, HOWE ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF

I thought I had seen them all and then yesterday I saw a van with a custom magnetic sign in papyrus lettering 'HOWE IT'S DONE CATERING'.

I swear I nearly stomped on the accelerator out of spite.

I want to go to Funkadeli

Also had a Doggy Style groomer up the street, but they finally apparently figured it out and changed the name to something bland.

― andrew m., Thursday, March 29, 2012 11:24 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

RIP

http://reocities.com/acewhiskey/st/dstyle.jpg

Once got my hair cut at a place called The Guillotine.

Doggie Style is a chain of bougie pet stores in Philly. We've also got Pho Ha which isn't a pun but I like to imagine they've got you all in check.

hahaha

I always enjoyed this map of German salons with common punny names

http://strangemaps.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/friseur.jpg

Firstly Haarmonie (a play on Haar, German for ‘hair’ and the German word for harmony). And then, writes map submitter Ron Garrett, “Haareszeiten, a play on Jahreszeiten (German for ‘seasons’). Haargenau is a real word that means ‘exactly’, like the English expression ‘to a hair’.”

HOWE ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF

... I am afraid to ask what this place sells

dildos, vibrators, those weird sex chairs

sex clones for narcissists imho

not horrible formed but in slc there used to be a place called "downtown mexican restaurant"

giggles irl

there's a Mexican restaurant here in Chi. called THE FAMOUS TACO BURRITO

always find this one weird... it's in hackney somewhere.

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9nm2vxlW61qzsqe5o1_500.jpg

it's like a compliment on a bad beehive, "Hey that's a top beauty nest, love"

(M)adam & (St)eve Erotic Bakery is Utah's first and only erotic cake specialist conveniently located in the center of the Salt Lake Valley.

"conveniently located in the middle of nowhere"

There's a road near my work called 'The Parade', and an antique shop on it called 'Gilty on Parade', which always bugs me. It's not even a pun, it just thinks it is. A sort of half-entendre.

http://www.yourcoast.com/Portals/0/Modules/Business/Deja_View_Logo.jpg

;_;

New York's Top Dog Halal Food

oh dear

dogs do love their halal, tis true

it appears to have changed its name/gone under, but there used to be a small chain of bagel shops in the dc area called 'whatsa bagel'

There a DIY pet grooming place here called Bathe "R" Doggie, which suggests that you rent a dog to wash rather than bring your dog there.

A tea-selling place called Bird Pick (I think it's a chain), that always squicks me (I don't want birds pecking around in my tea, thank you).

And I remember seeing a store called SHIT in Turku, Finland when I was there, but it had already shut down. I couldn't tell what they sold.

wow that is a string of bad names

I have trouble understanding how you fail to take a picture of a store called SHIT. It's like not photographing a gryphon. You steal a camera if you have to.

Yeah, I think I had forgotten to take it with me when I went out. Only there for a few days so I never went back.

as punishment you will be forced to remain cameraless for the rest of your natural born life...

Redemption!

http://cdn.cstatic.net/cache/gallery/6201/6053751474_8be8f8977f_o.jpg

Well, I'll be damned. It's in Stavanger, Norway, which I've also been to for work, but I swear I saw it in Turku. More pics and the story here:

http://racked.com/archives/2011/08/17/the-shit-store-of-stavanger-norway.php

There was a store with a name like "Crappy" or something in the outskirts of Paris; I think I have a pic somewhere. Also there used to be a Cramp's Liquors by my stepdad's old house.

there is a store in barcelona called "IGGY & POP"

http://www.tubapants.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/bitch.jpg

in seattle, short lived, always hated it

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5132/5401610916_c3bf808a9d_z.jpg

weird barbershop in manhattan

why does that second mannequin head have an ushinisha?

used to be a hairstyling place in ballard (seattle) called "fred of switzerland". had a strange sign featuring weird old hair clipart. loved that place but it's gone now and seems never to have been documented on the internet :(

love funkadeli so much. want to move back to NYC so i can go there. or else start a west coast branch.

oh hair box :/

ive heard every thai restaurant in seattle has a pun based name

seems that way: thai one on, thaiger room, what da phad!!? (by far the most horribly formed)

not 'horribly formed' but shout out to all the trendy local bars and restaurants around here whose names incorporate or consist solely of their street addresses. congratulations, the name of your business is uninspired and opaque.

there is a restaurant here called "eleven forty nine" named after its own street address which is bad enough

but then they opened a second location in a different town and called it "eleven forty nine east" so its name makes no sense whatsoever

http://www.hairroinsalon.com/

oof

I just remembered my favorite worst business name tonight:

Straw Hat Pizza

mmm pizza made from hats wtf

Hair Box is great!!

It reminds me of downtown suspicious business WIG-O-RAMA

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0ipnrIDSu1r2luwko1_500.png

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2307/2052485444_80d3fad1c4_z.jpg?zz=1

when i was very little, about 3, i called my father 'black hair box' for a nickname which he liked because it was mental, then later i amended it to 'no hair box' which he did not like quite so much because he missed his shiny black hair plus also i had lost a lot of my charm by then.

is there a companion thread for local businesses with well-formed names? because my friend told me about a store in los angeles named "the merchant of tennis" and I would like to visit that store.

hahah

well Funkadeli rated a mention in here, so I think this is the thread for both perfect and horrible names

Spotted in Manchester. How the fuck does this happen? What came first?

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vsytdcq91qbfvavo1_1280.png

when i was very little, about 3, i called my father 'black hair box' for a nickname which he liked because it was mental, then later i amended it to 'no hair box' which he did not like quite so much because he missed his shiny black hair plus also i had lost a lot of my charm by then.

― estela, Tuesday, 3 April 2012 01:56 (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I hope by 'later' you mean about 25 years later.

lol estate agent/hairdresser is awesome

Its the same font too !Are they a combined single business? Haircuts while u rent?

rent a haircut, put a downpayment on hair extensions

never use a z when an s will suffice is going to be an enforced creative advice bureau tenet.

i took a photo of wig-o-rama once! not the sign though, just this mannequin:

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/13/19266886_4d2ae26e55_o.jpg

Weeeird, there's a similarly spooky giant wig shop that looks like Abb's wigorama on the outskirts of Toronto!

Local businesses with delightfully formed or mellifluous names

wig shops are amazing.

for ages there was a wonderfully creepy and disheveled wig store in downtown seattle called WIGLAND (which, the internet tells me, is a fairly common name for wig stores). closed tragically a while back. i always figured it had to be a front anyway.

je t'aime le Hair Extensions & Beauty

so i was trying to find out where funkadeli is located, it turns out that i lived mere blocks away for years and was totally unaware of its existence which is kind of sad but thats not the point of the story, the point of the story is apparently ilx has a physical location and it is in lower manhattan

http://i.imgur.com/N9LnU.png

can't stop laughing at this

http://i.imgur.com/CGEcv.png

0 stars "Tumblr whites" - w whinegarten

dangit, lagoon, was abt to post a screecap of that review

"weingarten" spelling brings up "rolling regional thug thread 2012"

below the review is this line: "Reviews from around the web: ilxor.com (964)"

weird

it links as indicated

http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj242/donaldparsley/ILXstreetview.png

street view. we are a red mango with a fex ex truck parked in front of it.

awfully small space for so many of us

some of us are in the truck (shhh, it's a secret)

assume there's some inside joke here i'm missing

I just assumed JW or someone like that marked ILX on the map for lulz... if someone can even do such a thing?

had a phone number at one point, since deleted but still present in "edit history"

haven't called

God, there's this one street in Toronto where at least one in 10 shops has a terrible name. These are all shops that appear on a single one block stretch:

Your Clothes Friend
The Merchant of Tennis
The Sleuth on Baker St.
Write Impressions
Passion Fruits
Savory Thymes
Peaches and Green
The Elegant Garage Sale
and an Indian restaurant named Kamasutra

'The Merchant of Tennis' is awesome fuiud. Assuming they do actually sel tennis gear...

There's a town called Olney near Milton Keynes - every shop there is like
"the OLNEY record shop"
"the OLNEY indian restaurant"
"the OLNEY cafe"

well done whoever it was that put ilx on the map (LITERALLY)

there is a restaurant here called "eleven forty nine" named after its own street address which is bad enough

but then they opened a second location in a different town and called it "eleven forty nine east" so its name makes no sense whatsoever

― i think this is serious (elmo argonaut), Monday, April 2, 2012 8:22 PM

For restaurants named for their street address, hard to top this one:

http://www.nitrolicious.com/blog/wp-gallery/1006/69/IMG_4856.jpg

http://s3-media2.ak.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/vkckicPPCx9tn__PN7f86Q/l.jpg

If you're looking for a good eat, how about 69? That was the name of a restaurant on Bayard St. in NYC's Chinatown when I was last there. Actually is very highly reputed amongst locals - great food, low prices, open 24 hours, and shall we say, a unique ambiance. It's customary for patrons to write a note on a dollar bill and stick it onto the wall, and by now nearly the entirety of the walls and ceilings are covered with $1 notes (as can be seen here through the windows).

I see looking online that they've updated their name and signage recently; it's now called 69 Bayard. That should help spur business, since now anyone looking for 69 will know just where to find it:

http://lululuber.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/69-bayard-front-close.jpg

Then there's this local plumber:

http://pictures-e1.thumbtackstatic.com/pictures/178/ad0d45xgwwck3ldt_450_fill.jpg

John Flood. Ya know, there couldn't possibly be a worse name for a plumber than John Flood.... i mean, just Flood would be bad enough, but John Flood?!? .... Although I'm sure Mr. Flood is a very nice man, and probably a good plumber too.

And likewise for this tire store:

http://pics3.city-data.com/businesses/p/7/8/1/8/4487818.JPG

Kinda hard to see in the picture, but that's FLATT Tire Center in Des Moines.

Like every other city, there's every pun off of "Thai" possible for our local restaurants. This is probably the best:

http://media1.hellowashingtondc.com/media/articles/large/6926_image2_large.jpg

I read when they opened that "Thai Me Up" was considered, but there were already about five restaurants with that name (but only Pittsburgh's has the best slogan: "You're bound to like it!")

oooh, that slogan is good

Arbroath, not for the faint hearted:
http://lds.localdataimages.com/large/1242/12426008.jpgp

Also, there is/was a guy who runs a tiling business in Stirling trading as the Bonnie Tiler. His van claims that he offers a "total eclipse of your hearth".

My last electrician's name was Watt.

Ach bugger:
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3206/2875213705_6ed653fe10_m.jpg

Also, there is/was a guy who runs a tiling business in Stirling trading as the Bonnie Tiler. His van claims that he offers a "total eclipse of your hearth".

― calumerio, Wednesday, April 4, 2012 11:25 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol

At least he didn't go with "Holding Grout For A Hero"

lolling so hard at "Carpet Disco"

There's a sandwich shop in Worthing called Big Baps, not sure I want to gis that at work though.

Carpet Disco is fantastic

http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/sharon-stone-van-coed-magazine.jpg

Go Potty, a local port-a-john company. I'm sure there a numerous groan-inducing poop-play portable toilet co's around.

Carpet Disco is killing me

idgi

its a law i think that every portopotty/septic tank company is required to have a punny names or slogan

Forgot all about this one in NOLA

http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1022/549271681_c0d2d544a5_z.jpg

lol Stevie there's nothing to really 'get' --- it's just a store that sells carpet that added Disco to their name.
could there be anything further from a disco than a carpet showroom?

hiny hiders (toilet partitions and latches)

'disco' might be an abbrev for 'discontinued' or maybe 'discounted' but i prefer to think it is a floor-to-ceiling deep-pile party lounge

Short Circuit Electrics

"Let Us Remove Your Shorts"

There's a sushi place in Reno called Kokopelli Sushi, because nothing invokes fresh fish like the southwestern American desert.

And the tea place called Bird Pick (a chain?), because I want *my* tea leaves to be walked on and pecked by birds.

^ Blink 182 remix album title

xp

sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof

need to visit and/or walk past this before it gets shut down I guess

lool

my favorite back in my and Lisa Germano's hometown http://www.tootntellem.com/

can't decide if this is horribly or wonderfully formed

http://yesss.at/

jaaa

the asian-fusion-cuisine restaurant 'fuAsian' did not last long. mercifully.

i've seen so many of these lately but I forget to write them down #coolstorybro

I drive past this one stripmall store near work a lot, and it drives me NUTS.
Kissed Good Buy
u_u

Apparently they sell 'Hip Fashions With a Southern Vibe'.

which means "fannypacks with Confederate flags on them"

the website is kinda terrifying

http://kissedgoodbuy.hasbindesigns.com/#/photos/

"hasbindesigns.com"

iPho in Fremont, complete with an apple-shaped letter O, which inexplicably hasn't been shut down by Apple computer:

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/17ivgin2q1q4ljpg/original.jpg

Farmers Exchange here in Santa Cruz. The associated website - www.farmersexchangesc.com/ - being the "horribly formed" part.

Pizza My Heart is a popular local pizza joint.

personal favorites are every horribly-formed pun on "bead" for bead shops

also local haircuttery called the "Wak Shack"

there's a place in Davis or Dixon outside Sac that backs onto I-80, and the sign says something like LIVE BAIT SHOOTING RANGE AMMO

and I always lol @ 'live bait shooting range'

Ha, Shakey, you just reminded me that we have 'Big Bead Boutique' round the corner.

Also 'Barber Black Sheep' is a local hairdressers.

Bead It
Off the Beading Path
Beadissimo

Ace Of Fades barbershop near my house - not horribly formed at all tho, in fact I think it's p awesome

Meaty Beady Big and Councy

BOUNCY

My friend took this pic of a real business with some standing here in Houston:

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/206724_10150519924360511_499370_n.jpg

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31000000/Beads-gob-bluth-31072297-576-351.jpg

Poo. Life. What's the matter with your hair?

We've got the King of Fades. Don't think I should let him know that there's an Ace out there.

(Also can't drive by w/o humming King of Fades… I will ALWAYS BE King of Fades….)

I didn't choose the Poo Life, the Poo Life chose me.

http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/0f/ae/ee/parkinglot-and-sign-of.jpg

jokes on you cause they don't sell it

Sewing and alterations are another category of business where terrible puns abound. Two local examples:

Seams Sew Right [no longer in business]
Sew Sew Maria

I'm sure I and Adam have before mentioned the nearby Dick Whittington pub. the attached bottle shop is named Dick Liquor.

wait I see I mentioned that already

Theres a clothing store just down the road called "Oralita" and ... I cant help mentally sniggering. I am such a child.

the large and elaborate

CUSTOMER'S WANTED, APPLY WITHIN

sign on the fence of a local signwriter unwittingly serves the purpose of being a fair warning.

http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/images/12/2011/10/xlarge_peed_plumbing.jpg

Peed Plumbing: Awesome, wack, or so wack it comes back around again to awesome?

awesome x awesome to the power of awesome

Should hook up with PooLife.

There's a burger place here that is named OK (Big Daddy's Fire Grill) but on their menu they have the slogan "Put some excitement between your buns" which is not what I want to think of when I'm getting a burger. And the "B" in their BD logo looks like a butt.

gross

do they have donkey sauce y/n

not yet.

I do give them credit for opening their first location next door to an In-N-Out Burger. Bold move.

Hand to God, I once got my hair cut at this place.

eep

"Anu" is a common Finnish women's name. Apparently someone called Anu owned a cafe near the street where I used to live, because it was called Anu's Cafe. The place has since shut down.

This one comes perilously close to one of those "accidentally says something else" situations:

http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/8162/48720210151592504177317.jpg

hahahaha amazing

ha! that's awesome

I've been meaning to bump this thread for ages -- almost every morning I see a pickup emblazoned with the business name ARREOLOA LANDSCAPING

oops

ARREOLA LANDSCAPING, I mean

Saw this place in Paris, TX:

http://heavytable.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/rusty-taco_storefront.jpg

oh god

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2ChkJFYFfsM/TfJxjGIFiWI/AAAAAAAABfc/Nodj_asraHM/s1600/011.JPG

A+

They really need to have Pat Benetar do their commercials.

TELL GRANDMA YOU FELL OFF THE SWING

Lettuce Souprise You: all-you-can-eat soup and salad bar near Atlanta

http://static.tvguide.com/MediaBin/Galleries/Shows/M_R/Pa_Ph/Party_Down/Season2/party-down1.jpg

haa

Recently opened tattoo and body-piercing shop in my suburban town is rather splendidly named "SORRY MUM".

that's funny though I think

was just stuck at a red light next to a mobile dog barber with the delightful business name "The Barfer Shoppe" written on their door.

http://www.thebarfershoppe.com/index.php?crn=231

What is BARF?

BARF is an acronym for Biologically Appropriate Raw Food. Biologically appropriate food is food that a particular animal was designed to eat.

Will feeding barf cure my pet?

No, feeding BARF does not directly cure any diseases or ailments.

Lol

"It will not cure your pet but it might cure your pet... think about it..."

http://www.abrasive-form.com/

Specialist in Creep Feed Grinding

not a nightclub

Blades, Vanes, and Shrouds

are you sure, because this sounds pretty fucking goth clubby to me

yeah p sure whiney tweeted all 3 of those

just up the road from my workplace

http://i.imgur.com/I1gpiQz.png

what the actual shit

I saw a cement mixer in Walthamstow today owned by the unfortunately-named firm "Jim'll Mix It".

hippy "therapy" shop near me was offering a workshop in "Tibetan Ball Massage" the other day. i am such a child.

Finbar Saunders-isms are the best, there was much hilarity in my office today when a co-worker was having "problems with his plums" oo-er missus fnar fnar etc.

i use balls for massage regularly, hur hur. seriously though, it's very effective. little rubber balls that release tension under your back and neck and stuff.

xpost

i guessed that was probably what it was but the initial double-take was priceless

Whereabouts in Walthamstow are you, Neil S?

I saw a cement mixer in Walthamstow today owned by the unfortunately-named firm "Jim'll Mix It".

http://www.modernmix.co.uk/assets/volumetric.jpg

that's the one!

There's a dog groomers next to where I live called 'Fuzzy Growlers'. Always made me cringe to hear my mum saying it / my dad chuckling about it.

http://s459.photobucket.com/user/doctorcasino/media/nuttinbuttluvjpg_zps0d1e65e0.jpg.html

er....

http://i459.photobucket.com/albums/qq313/doctorcasino/nuttinbuttluvjpg_zps0d1e65e0.jpg

HEALTH AND BEAUTY AIDS

There is actually a non-profit called Face AIDS; I had to interview someone with that on their CV and was a bit o_O

there was a short-lived cholo clothing store called Homie Depot here a few years ago (though i would say "awesomely" rather than "horribly")

There's a Fuzzy's Tacos near where I work, and I want to eat there but my lunch buddy says the name disgusts her too much. My only counterargument was tacos, but it wasn't enough.

The possessive form of Fuzzy really takes the edge off what could be pretty disgusting.

their tortilla chips are seasoned with "fuzzy dust" apparently. I will go and investigate.

i used to wonder why restaurant consultancies exist

Robert Ludlum's The Restaurant Consultancy

next door to one of the best mexican cantina's in little rock:

Flip-Over Gymnastics

surely they mean for the kids to just flip over how fun and rewarding gymnastics can be, but instead lolz

Would make for a good record shop name.

not the gymnastics part.

I am just seeing Nuttin' Butt Luv for the first time and I am currently dying of lols

There's also a boutique here in Austin called Wear Art Thou that irritates me more than it should. It's close to the Bark'N'Purr though, which always makes me happy.

I can still hear my former step-mother arguing with my dad in the front seat after he announced that his new storm window company was going to be named "Home Boy Windows" because, you know, they're for the home!

"Honey, I took your advice and went with a classier name. I present to you, Homely Windows!"

''Wear Art Thou'' is so close to being reasonably clever (I'm assuming the idea is that the clothes are ''art'') but really fumbles on the third word.

"Wear art though" would be the nice aside at the end of some snide conversation.

Wear Art Chow: high concept body art place where everything is edible

the 'thou' makes sense just fine, just read it as imperative mood

although it would be better punning if the phrase "where art thou" was actually something, other than half the title of a movie

There's a new-ish Thai restaurant opened in Glasgow called Thai-riffic.

The words Thai and Pho are total wild cards... anything goes.

i worked (for three days) at a tea place called Infini-T. It would make more sense as Infini-Tea.

I just remembered Fear & Clothing

lol that one is pretty good

http://i.imgur.com/42xNSip.jpg

looool

I remember earlier this year hearing on the radio "the Met Office have issued a yellow snow warning" and sniggering to myself

I expect the Zappa fans to come out of the woodwork for this one.

i like ones that have a sign with their slogan written just as big as the name of the store so it appears to be one long title:
Zak's ATV Zone We Sell ATVs
DOORS N MORE What's The More? Windows!

I remember earlier this year hearing on the radio "the Met Office have issued a yellow snow warning" and sniggering to myself

This never stops making me giggle either.

Does everyone else in the UK have Virgin TV/broadband installer vans with "hilarious" Van puns on their vans? There's a van belonging to a neighbour with "Van Diesel" on it parked round the corner - have also seen Julie Vandrews and Marlon Vando kicking around the area.

this place been drawing attention to itself for price discrimination. just now noticed its horribly formed name.

the Hands On Children Museum

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/06/11/2134951/florida-childrens-museum-responds-to-discrimination-by-punishing-all-families/

Not exactly local, but on WNYC they keep mentioning this underwriter called "Mail Chimp" and it always comes across to me as "Male Chimp." Terrible name either way.

I thought of this thread today bcz I came up with the name "Backto Realty" which is not a real realtor but if it was it wd belong in this thread.

MailChimp is a bulk email service, isn't it? Not an underwriter.

Check out this shipping/packaging store: http://www.goinpostalwdm.com/

oh wait

never mind, I misread your use of underwriter, carry on

right

it also sounds to me like it would just kind of scamper up a tree with your mail and comically feign reading it before tossing it away

but guys, really. "Goin' Postal"

Not as funny when the person knowingly makes a "horribly formed name."

http://cdn.brownstoner.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/teaffee-ext.jpg

Teaffee, Brooklyn. Because they serve tea... and coffee... and tea and coffee together.

You are mistaken, this business is clearly named "eaffee."

there's a septic company in O-town called "Brownies". ugh.

http://rlv.zcache.com/female_reproductive_system_2_poster-rbf04dd1b3b884c768b6750f8b0110bf8_wv3_8byvr_216.jpgeaffee

Hahaa... Gonadseaffee

I wanted to start a brand called namastea but I was the thousandth guy with the idea

My brother-in-law used to live in Eugene and we always had to drive by this place to get to his apartment:
http://i.imgur.com/b6VVgR9.jpg

I have no idea what these people were thinking and I'm still haunted by this five years later

I guess there was already a Hairba Dabba Doo in the neighborhood

We pass this place in Greenvile, SC on road trips http://greenville-sc.opendi.us/646882.html

O_o

It was formerly called Lolita's Child Development Center. But I'm not sure Lolita's World of Wonder is better.

Once saw a Chinese restauarant called Bon Appetit

Lolita's World of Wonder somehow reminds me of the friend who decided to change her life/career/etc. after passing a shuttered tourist trap with faded sign reading "World of Dreams Museum," and having a vision of her own dreams bottled, labeled, and sitting dusty on the shelf of a defunct roadside attraction.

"Fun Bags Party Shop"

http://statics.192.com/estreet/original/large/2109/21092838.jpg

o_O

A friend just told me about a bar that some girls were saying they "love to get drunk at" called Sloppy Tuna.

Passed a sign today that said: COMING SOON - SHABBYLOUS CHIC

u_u

Isnt that a play on shabby chic? Which I thought was a shitty fad that'd passed in the 90s but what the hey.

yes and yes

"sorry you are 20 years too late with yr business idea: application denied"

also the lous part makes me think of louse/lice

shabbylice

lol is there any other kind of louse?

slang for loser-type person in Australia

lols at fun bags

what about the fried chicken place called hitler

omg this pizza place near a friend's holiday house that we ate at like a decade and a half ago and was actually really bad pizza (as in, not bad but still good, not bad but edible, but bad *bad* bad)

Anyway it has since changed it's name and is now called 'Pizza D'oh'

http://www.pizzadoh.com.au/

Yes like in the Simpsons. apparently the sign outside is also in the same (or similar enough) font also.

Why the fuck would you do this? There are no other Simpsons references about it, so all that's left is that "D'oh" sounds like 'dough', and 'Pizza Dough' is a shit name for a pizza place.

Maybe they're trying to suggest that they're aware of how horribly they've screwed up their pizza.

The Tranny Man, LLC of Greenville, SC has more than 28 years of experience in the business. We provide dependable transmission service and repair. We service foreign and domestic transmissions. Call or visit The Tranny Man, LLC today.

http://www.thetrannymanllc.com/

d'oh this is not pizza

Our local dive is Pizza D'Action.

i occasionally pass a pet groomer named DOGGIE STYLES and i wonder if they know

i mean, someone has to have told them by now. do they care?

meanwhile i take my dog to a groomer called DOGGY DO'S which is only marginally "better" and almost certainly intentional

Teaffee is a family owned business founded by David Fernandez.

So where did David get the idea for Teaffee?

One day David was having dinner with his family when a waitress mistakenly refilled his tea with coffee

David had one sip and Eureka!

Teaffee was born.

TEA BREWS

Cup of Tea
Cup of Iced Tea
Iced Teaffee
Teaffee
Teapot

TESTIMONIALS
Great experience yesterday at Teaffee! Thanks guys!
- Riley J. Monaco

Welcome to the neighborhood, Teaffee!
- Carrollgardens

The special drink of the place is the 'teafee', a blend of tea and coffee concentrate. It's actually quite good.
- Pardonmeforasking.blogspot.com

DOGS AND CATS, LIVING TOGETHER, ANARCHY etc

lol doggie styles

One day David was having dinner with his family when a waitress intentionally refilled his tea with urine

David had one sip and Eureka!

local businesses with horribly formed "names"

I can't stop thinking about "Hairbadooba" thanks to this thread :(

http://i.imgur.com/DGrpVfs.jpg?1

yeesh

After a conversation in the office today about something Robin Hood related, I figured something like this had to exist. It turns out there several of them.

http://teleflora.edgesuite.net/images/products/HW0_276850.jpg

http://teleflora.edgesuite.net/images/Vendors/Aboutus_97515_5241.jpg

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/524928_181194502027889_1388505865_n.jpg

What, no Hey Nanny No Childcare?

Hailing from Nottingham, myself and bandmates came up with 'The Umbrellas of Sherwood' to go with all the 'Sherwood Florists'.

i should like this, but instead i think it incredibly lame

https://www.facebook.com/fleetwoodmacchiatocafe

A local monumental masons (makers of gravestones and memorials) called Mark of Respect.

Dying of lols @ Fleetwood Macchiato omg

always wondered: why is "names" in quotes in thread title?

http://www.wasteservicing.co.uk/Images/CompanyImages/Hump-n-Dump-361568-0.jpeg

ugh

xp what a horribly formed "joke"

i see

there's a dog grooming place in my neighborhood called "Don't Forget Your-Kies" which i guess is a pun on "don't forget your keys", which imo isn't a common enough phrase for a pun

god that is terrible

you're forgetting something: yorkies

Don't forget your Keeshond.

across the street from "habla e-spaniel"

a bird in the hand is worth two in the wolfhound

Just a Pinscher Salt--Doc Told Me to Cut Back

i like the combination medical offices near me that just have a single sign: DENTIST PODIATRIST with that squiggly medical symbol thing in the middle.

had to take one of our cats to the all-night emergency pet clinic nearby. online it's called the After Hours Animal Hospital. but the sign says After Hour Animal Hospital.

Been there twice with animals we had to leave behind.

And as sad as I was the first time, I couldn't help but get "2,3,4 if you close the door, the night could last forever," stuck in my head.

I really hope Mark of Respect is owned by a guy named Mark.

"Don't Forget Your-Kies" may be the worst of the whole thread somehow.

i like the combination medical offices near me that just have a single sign: DENTIST PODIATRIST with that squiggly medical symbol thing in the middle.

― fervently nice (Treeship), Friday, July 26, 2013 12:29 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is why i already desperately miss the recently-removed old-school signs on NYC's Roosevelt Island

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3545/3838799566_b6fff9ccea.jpg

Those store signs were the best.

I saw a pickup today that just had a very small magnetic sign on the lower part of the door
HEATING & AIR

i was like, I appreciate your simplicity, sir

there's a convenience store here with a name that i think is actually really funny

http://goo.gl/maps/InqjT

ftr it says 'FREE MARKET'

There used to be a pizza place across from my law school (now a shake shack) that had no apparent name, just a giant block letter sign that said PIZZA SALAD. So of course we referred to the place as "Pizza Salad"

to be clear, the pizza place is now a shake shack, not my law school

i'm at the law school/i'm at the shake shack

shake shack law school*

*not an accredited institution
** but the shakes are delicious

rejected jay-z album title

not local, but

http://www.wanksons.com/wank-attack1.htm

There used to be a pizza place across from my law school (now a shake shack) that had no apparent name, just a giant block letter sign that said PIZZA SALAD. So of course we referred to the place as "Pizza Salad"

There's a lighting/DJ equipment hire place here whose name is its phone number, which has the helpful side-effect that you can't look up their phone number without knowing their phone number.

(of course now you can look it up on Google Streetview by plunking the Streetview icon on the street corner you think it might be on, but this place has been going since the days of phone books)

Is the place like 800-44-DANCE or is it just named for some numbers?

it's in the streetview link

that occurred to me after I posted…

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6GGtxYC62x0/TI0-zJ9SfXI/AAAAAAAAADc/Fq_X4Ps4-OI/s1600/3898992316_bb415d899d.jpg

Crepe-N-Tearia

Sorry, Crepe "N" Tearia

http://s3-media4.ak.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/sT1lE3mJw4ujFAnc-VYODw/l.jpg

It's a pet shop.

it's THE pet shop, boys

There's a beauty salon near me called Glam'r'us.

There's this local carpenter here who trades under the name Daw Guy. His name is Guy, his logo is a dog with a large eyeball painted on its side (geddit?) and I guess he fits doors or something? So very terrible.

"the lunatic fringe" (hairdressers)
"YOLO" (shoe shop)

Not a "horribly formed name" in the classic sense of this thread, but a local restaurant opened up in the last few months (taking over the space from what had long been a Thai food/doughnut shop). The sign out front reads

Ch4s and Fr4n's Place
Eat Here or We'll Both Starve

I feel so bad for them.

http://edgewater.patch.com/groups/business-news/p/chas--frans-place-opening-monday-in-edgewater

that pet shop boys pet shop reminded me that there is a hair salon near where I live called depeche mode

yeah but that's probably just the phrase

I'll club this seal to make a deal, xp

Not a business, but I was just in Whole Foods and saw a non-dairy "butter" called Zen Budda.

Oh yeah, also saw a beer from New Zealand called Boysen Beery.

There used to be a cider/alcopop type drink here called TwoDogs, which may need some explaining if yr not Australian, I'm not sure.

I don't get it.

It's a (probably vaguely racist) shitty old Aussie joke.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/578111_10151687294776290_926927364_n.jpg

http://www.professorplumb.net/s/cc_images/cache_723058304.png?t=1366825485

http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/2586/1276/1600/953191/prune.jpg

^not a pun or anything. Just "wacky".

https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/540908_426886134061185_1336969907_n.jpg

I have been to the Fractured Prune many times. It is ott but p good nonetheless

Not exactly on topic for the thread, but I just discovered a corporation called "CHINA XD PLASTICS CO LTD"

http://parkslopestoop.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2013/07/park-slope-billboard-3-070913.jpg

Intended to evoke Peyton Place, I guess, but instead conjures an image of Peyton Manning receiving a lap dance.

His brother looks cute on that billboard though.

I don't know how anyone could ever feel comfortable leaving their kids at a daycare called Little Kiddies.

"Are you ready to hear some some violin music, children? Well let's have a round of applause for the Kiddie Fiddler!"

Horribly formed signs/logos.

http://www.theuntappedsource.com/blog/best-worst-logo-designs/

http://ftp.app.hurdman.org/brphotos/bC4xLjQ4NjI1NC42MTEx.jpg

http://www.theargus.co.uk/resources/images/2927986.jpg

I swear to god Quilty Pleasures or something just like it was the name of the joke business in the credits to Bob's Burgers last week.

Close - "Quilty As Charged"

http://i.imgur.com/Zl3F6Z3.jpg

imo 'Professor Plumb' is just on the right side of stupid.

There's a shop in Shoreditch called something like (I approximate massively but you'll get the point) 'Shop that sells really cool things to cool people LOL'. I haven't been in to confirm if the name is accurate.

Founding Farmers restaurant in DC featuring food sourced from small farms.

A beauty emporium near me (kind of like a smaller independent Ulta, beauty salon/retail kinda deal) now have a frozen yogurt shop attached to their business (no idea why)

the name of the yogurt shop is Yogurt Yazzle

and all I can think of is vajazzle and uggghh

vajogurt?

thank you, Roberto Spiralli, for putting into a word what I was trying to imagine

I want to open a pet adoption shelter named, Meet Spay Love.

I was disappointed to find out that there are already coffeeshops (not local, but somewhere in America) called Hill of Beans and Beancounters

lol jon

I want to start a middle eastern restaurant called Lambs to the Za'atar or Za'atar House Five.

Zaatar is a good name for a restaurant actually, has anyone used it?

What is a Yazzle?

Coming soon to South Jersey USA

http://www.diggerland.com/gallery/large/diggerland0112.jpg

Lol that originated in my hometown. In rural England.

this always annoys me:

http://statics.192.com/estreet/original/large/2120/21208436.jpg

http://www.stylishlondonliving.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/rock-sole-plaice-restaurant-covent-garden-london-1.jpg

^ the worst name but maybe the best chips in london?

my body clock is fucked up, before ten in the morning and i can't stop thinking about chips

(xpost) That pun has a proud history:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhuuzQ6hQYs

(amazing performance from Faron btw.)

Where is Wine Me Up, Nick? I'm assumng London somewhere; don't know the taco shop!

No, it's in Brighton. That one's on Western Road, but there are a couple of them here

there's a bakery near my parent's house called "Absolutely Edible" and every time I see their sign I think "who are you trying to convince?"

http://statics.192.com/estreet/original/large/2105/21052544.jpg

that's brilliantly formed!

Yeah, not really in the spirit of the thread, it's pretty much my favourite shop name.

i'm now kind of amazed that a self-service dog wash can function as a business but still

http://eu1.zmtnws.com/data/pictures/5/7700145/daa7d0d45108d8dffb223ff3af16ac80_200_thumb.jpg

http://s3-media2.ak.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/w4ggvX_2nbljzJnpWE5cSw/ls.jpg

xp dog washing places have been a thing in the us for the last ten years or so.

saw a large truck bearing the logo for a local chemical transport service called... Quimex

Just passed a poster for another dog-washing place called Shampooch.

i'm now kind of amazed that a self-service dog wash can function as a business but still

― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Thursday, April 24, 2014 8:51 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My mom has a self service dog wash called "the sink"

so much of life has passed me by

our dogs both go to "the hose" which is more of an al fresco sort of joint

there's a bakery near my parent's house called "Absolutely Edible" and every time I see their sign I think "who are you trying to convince?"

― building a desert (art), Thursday, April 24, 2014 7:42 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That reminds me of one of my local favorites, Sanitary Bakery.

There's a dog wash place here called Wash "R" Doggie, and I've always been bothered by the "R" because it's not the business's dog you'll be washing*, it's yours. Should be called Wash "YR" Doggie.

* Though I've also imagined they have a dog on staff that people can wash if that activity gives them pleasure/comfort/etc.

yesterday near the entrance of a gloomy arcade in surfer's paradise i saw a handlettered board promoting the "Get Stuffed" Sandwich and Salad Bar.

http://www.assfinet.de/

I find the "ME SO HUNGRY" food truck that circles nearby somewhat offensive.

ha, it reminds me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zBXLhk7qJY

I admit to chuckling when I saw this yesterday. Not horribly formed but it seems to belong here.

https://rickspicks.com/assets/phat_beets_2011_large-552a66c753e4451d0082595daf273755.jpg

i'd be tempted to jam my forearm behind the row of them and just start swinging tbh

Photographed "A Salt & Battery" for this thread, sad to discover it was already posted long ago. That one makes me actively angry.

Perhaps this one will deflect your anger:

http://fishsip.com/images/fish-and-sip-brooklyn.jpg.jpg

That's bad, but "A Salt & Battery" is premised on the idea that visiting customers would find "assault and battery" a delightful pun rather than having a flashback experience to past experiences with violence. Also it's in New York which would suggest it's a pun on "the Battery" or Battery Park - which it's nowhere near. Like, you can't open a bookstore called Booklyn in Baltimore.

Yeah. I already mentioned the shipping/packaging store I saw called "Going Postal," right? cringe.

A dude I know who's a stand-up comedian has a bit about A Salt & Battery, where he asks "what the hell?" and then turns around and says he wants to open up an eatery of his own called "Statutory Crepe."

totally!

hooo boy

not a business, but it looks like I also forgot to mention this organic yogurt that was originally called "Cultural Revolution" but they luckily dropped that pun

not local, but I came across a corporation in a case recently that was called infoGROUP, like its name was actually written that way -- first four letters smallcase italic, last five all caps. It just looked really hilarious to see that in print over and over again, infoGROUP

There's a really trashy bar in Toronto called "Lolita's Lust" that's mostly just disturbing.

There's also a place called RAQ N WAQ which I can never look at without reading it as "Iraq war"

Raq N Waq is weird - I went into it for a friend's birthday once and it really thinks it's a classy lounge

New bistro opened in my old neighborhood

Italian Stallion Bistro

:/

yeah that kind of sounds like whatever you call the gigolo equivalent of a cathouse?

just wanted to say that i dont know what programme that pizza clip a few posts up is but holy shit i hope the woman got paid a lot of for embarrassing herself like that

My friend has a magnet on his fridge from some sort of fabric/textile place called Sew You Think You Can Dance? that has absolutely nothing to do with dance or dance uniforms or anything

Starting to think Toronto might be a hotbed of poorly named businesses, judging from comments above

I was at Smorgasburg this weekend and I was thinking about how a lot of those places have Horribly Formed Names 2.0, e.g.

http://www.bonchovie.com/

http://i.imgur.com/g9JqTtV.jpg

Holy shit, that is completely real. Be sure to read the How We Got the Name part.

We offer 30-minute response times to get you moving again without undue delays, or as we like to say “We come Lickety Split”!

You might say these guys are all in on the Camel Tow concept.

I remember these trucks. They were real too.

http://civilwartalk.com/attachments/campbell-express-jpg.31163/

Starting to think Toronto might be a hotbed of poorly named businesses, judging from comments above

Long live The Beer Store

that makes up for some of the others

good one Sweden:
http://i.imgur.com/pZMIlO2.jpg?1

used to have a place in town called pies and thighs.

http://media.tumblr.com/b51898fa9b77340c9c798fd04da5832a/tumblr_inline_mka3a7AHk01r3pwcp.jpg

http://piesnthighs.com/ xp

that's kind of a funny name for a tattoo parlor, actually.

https://scontent-b-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/t1.0-9/p600x600/10150559_10152394235309257_412556196752621060_n.jpg

that's... fantastic

Site For Sore Eyes

optometrist

:/

http://i.imgur.com/waVV25q.jpg

there's a gym here called "hour of change" which in itself is pretty bad but recently something damaged the signs so it reads "hour of chan" which sounds like something that would be on the usa network on a sunday

http://s3-media2.ak.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/0GGuv7wL1Mn5haiJAIF-oA/l.jpg

^^^ actual restaurant in Portland. been trying to figure what exactly this place's deal is forever. It's never open, yet never officially closed either.

this one's gonna be a big success, i can feel it.

http://static.squarespace.com/static/52d614abe4b0770a479cb160/t/52d8a069e4b09614df38c0f8/1390627224616/?format=1500w

not even kidding about this.

Story behind Husky or Maltese Whatever (kinda ruins the mystery):
https://web.archive.org/web/20041009211815/http://www.portlandtribune.com/archview.cgi?id=25499

There's a local drain clearance firm called 'Drain & Able'.

Doggie Stylz dog grooming

:(

GLAZED EXPECTATIONS (a paint-yr-own pottery place, obvi)

http://o.aolcdn.com/dims-shared/dims3/PATCH/format/jpg/quality/82/resize/200x153%5E/crop/200x153%2B0%2B0/http://hss-prod.hss.aol.com/hss/storage/patch/49f2dc9d3df7be72bd61292bf9558c07

They sell coffee, they sell hotdogs. But somehow I just don't fancy eating or drinking anything from somewhere called: http://www.coffeedogs.co.uk/

GLAZED EXPECTATIONS (a paint-yr-own pottery place, obvi)

Not Glazed Expressions?!?!

Actual lol @ "Glazed Expectations." Years ago, there was a very short-lived shop in my town, called "OVER THE EDGE." It was like some kind of mom-and-pop version of Hot Topic. They sold spiked wristbands and...Noam Chomsky lectures on CD.

Someone who lives in Colorado needs to hip us to all of the horribly formed marijuana business names.

it's probably 150 or so coffee/weed shops named 'Higher Grounds' sprinkled across the state

http://i.imgur.com/JzHiHsu.jpg

"special clippings unit" is magnificently formed

You get A-rest

Shoulda just called it Lawn Order, though.

Actual lol @ "Glazed Expectations." Years ago, there was a very short-lived shop in my town, called "OVER THE EDGE." It was like some kind of mom-and-pop version of Hot Topic. They sold spiked wristbands and...Noam Chomsky lectures on CD.

― zchyrs, Tuesday, May 27, 2014 10:23 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Chomsky was on Epitaph for a while.

what a horribly/wonderful sequence of business names!

http://i.imgur.com/GxvnLa0.jpg

"ADULT" is actuall the sex shop Moonlite Reader. they have 3 other locations, including this one at Child's Plaza:

http://i.imgur.com/4YKJC7m.jpg

125 Tools is great.

Is Amore pizza like when the moon hits your eye?

Would be sad if their radio ads did not include "How much-a you want?" "I want-a more!"

"Adult Tool Repairs"

found a bridal store in my parents town called AISLE ALTAR HYMN

Who wants-a-more pizza?

Saw a strip club the other day called The Pitiful Princess. wtf?

I'm going to open a mohel shop called "Hugh Bris"

http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr222/Chass3ur/photo_zpsfcd243ae.jpg

what the

http://www.beejayscaffolding.ltd.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/DSC_0530_crop-216x125.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/YIHmjjZ.jpg

jeez...

just noticed the other day that a shop near me is called Salvador Deli :/

"And what will you be having today for–"

"WHAT? WHAT? I... I CAN'T DECIDE."

Memory's In Music

Sells records, swords, etc., in Hot Springs, Arkansas.

Not "local" but

https://tpc.googlesyndication.com/simgad/10291742380402745626

I don't know how any parents worth their salt could, in good conscience, leave their children in the hands of Little Wiggles & Giggles Day Care.

For a while it seemed like every daycare in town was named after a fairytale. There was Goldilocks, Cinderella, a whole whack of others, and... HANSEL & GRETEL. *facepalm*

I have moved recently and the tram into work passes me by a beauticians named "Take Off Skin and Beauty".

Erm?

They missed a trick calling it Take Off Skin and Hair tbh

http://bristol.tab.co.uk/files/2014/10/10717894_10153332786322662_367685794_n-540x542.jpg

Bristol's finest kebabs

no idea how to post images on here sorry

Forgotten Heartthrobs of the 80s and 90s - PART ONE

There are some hilarious Flickr groups for this, I'm going to have a look now.

I can't link to my picture if the Sushi restaurant in Lafayette, IN.

It's called "Sushi Nazi".

http://www.themost10.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/The-Soup-Nazi-Seinfeld.jpg?3ea210

"Come back, ONE YEAR!"

xp good to see the Donervan's had some ilxor love before - its the only reason to go anywhere near the Clifton triangle on a weekend tbh

http://media.techeblog.com/images/funny-store-name.jpg

Sometimes at work I come across something filed by The Huge Law Firm Pllc. My favorite firm name ever.

http://www.avvo.com/attorneys/20007-dc-harry-huge-714602.html

https://www.dropbox.com/s/4d0xyy807ghjb6a/Screenshot%202014-11-06%2010.49.54.png?dl=0

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTgI4SSn8GrBORlaDZXt0Ac4V9VAw7nskFukQ61aBQqwCxb1uBF

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1853868

About the Hitler clothing store, sign had swastika.

ok what

dying at creatifart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KyKdM-4uZw

When I walk through town here there's a place just called 'BEAUTY THERAPIST', which is fine if boring, but they have a sandwich board with the name out the front and an unfortunate weird spacing in the lettering, so it says 'BEAUTY THE RAPIST'

The Joint - chiropractor

u_u

Another Spiked Knee Joint -- Orthropedist

Apparently this is a thing, but I just saw it for the first time today. Bandage Wrapped Cheese.

http://www.timptations.com/alacarte/images/large/bandage_cheese_LRG.jpg

... some cheeses actually are wrapped in cloth bandages tho?

Yeah, cloth wrapped, but to me it suggests a used (as on a human) bandage.

D:

EXTRA MATURE

Bondage-wrapped cheese
50 shades of gruyere

with Christian Whey.

There used to be a jewelry store in my neighborhood in Queens called "Stoa."

"Where ya goin'?"
"Stoa."
When ya comin back?"
"Lata."

http://i.imgur.com/aB4L08y.jpg?1

Classic debbie

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v472/birdnestsoup/suiteas.jpg

suite as, mate

Not local really but I spotted this at a coffee shop. Maybe I just have a dirty mind

http://i.imgur.com/mND0evr.jpg

no i remember when they demo'd that at a nat food store I worked at and it was def deliberate

Memories Pizza, Walkerton, Indiana

hoo boy

http://www.memoriespizza.com/

you reap what you sow, eat what you slice.

New Deli

Maybe they're not so dumb. $265K and counting.

http://www.gofundme.com/MemoriesPizza

maybe everyone's so dumb

http://i.imgur.com/lUARz16.jpg?1

did bumping and grinding (the dance move) even exist in 1982?

http://s3-media2.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/zpVT4qToOrAzh-Y6JspdaA/348s.jpg

i don't see nothing wrong

you've obviously never chaperoned a high school dance

^^^^
local businesses with horribly formed "benches" outside

do they sell cocaine y/n

y

Rewaxation

^I like this

(mostly because I'm hearing it in Homestar Runner's voice)

http://www.sugarboogerspanamacity.com/

^also works good in homestar voice

Yumpling

I <3 Yumpling

i like that

hearing "I <3 Yumpling" to the tune of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM-lEhhsLQw

There was a Swastika Laundry in Dublin - to avoid any bad vibes, from 1945 onwards they changed the signage to incorporate "(1912)", the year of their formation.

Kins of amazed and appalled that there's a 'Plaistow Road' outside London (as I'm assuming there's not signs on the one within advertising "GUNS").

Sellfridges is all-time but my favourite in London is probably the antique restoration on the Essex Road named "Past Caring".

Reminded of this thread every time I pass Safebury's on the way into Birmingham.

Swastika Laundry would be a good name for a bad noise band

The Rub Club. It's a massage place up the road from us.

Listen, I don't make fun of where your mom works, right?

Not making fun. I'm sure it's a very exclusive club, very tony.

The SquoZen 1 (lemonade and infusions)

http://static.wixstatic.com/media/22eb4c_8e243953d7654e9da7338eae648018d2.jpg_srz_p_600_686_75_22_0.50_1.20_0.00_jpg_srz

this fucken guy

when life gives you lemons be a punchable twit

squoziety is in the gutter

Driving across Missouri recently I saw both "Chitty Insurance" (as in "Can't get your car insured elsewhere? Get Chitty Insurance!") and Uranus Fudge Factory.

Uranus Fudge Factory was formerly Big Louie's Burlesque Saloon, so the classiness of this Route 66 stop has definitely jumped.

debatable

http://www.cretinhomes.com/_assets/css/images/logo.png

cant believe i havent posted this yet--billboards for these guys all over rural south louisiana

tbf it's cray-TANH but w/e

The SquoZen 1 (lemonade and infusions)

― nickn, Friday, 24 July 2015 22:20 (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hey to be honest the way you've written there is far more offensive than what appears on his cart, but still.

I first saw it in an online flyer for an event, and it was done that way ("SquoZen 1"). When I found the guy's website to get a picture I noticed it wasn't done that way, but I figured at some point he must have used that so I went with it. I admit it's possible that was entirely the work of the flyer designer.