Take this Queen's Jubilee and SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE

Fucking sick of it.

We are sorry, but all our arses are serving other customers at this time. Your jubilee is important to us, so please stay on the line and we will shove your jubilee up the first available arse in the order in which it was received.

I am not actually sure I know what a jubilee is, I thought it was a tube line

At least there's no street parties round here. Bit of a scarcity in Scotland except for posh places or maybe bigoted shitholes like Airdrie and Larkie

It's pretty low key here. Basically certain pubs are doing things, but that's about it except for the occasional house with flags in the window. I'm no monarchist, but it's hard to get wound up about the Jubilee and the Royal family when the government regularly wastes far more money on other pointless stuff.

SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING CUNT QUEENIE

Just wanted to get that out of my system somewhere quiet, thanks for listening

I am currently in central London and remain singularly unbothered by it all. I suspect the telly is making more of it than actual people are.

highlight of the jubilee for me has been rihanna s&m blasting out on the speakers at the street party in our road.

http://i45.tinypic.com/34fbp7d.jpg

Spent this afternoon wandering along the south bank. There is bunting EVERYWHERE. and people camping out already... it's going to be a very long weekend.

http://distilleryimage10.instagram.com/f39075b0ace811e1a8761231381b4856_7.jpg

"Two dogs wearing crowns are among those at a street party in Battersea today"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2153362/Diamond-Jubilee-Britain-goes-crazy-Queens-special-party.html

Quality.

effing royalty

north london is oddly... unbusy? either people have all decided to get out of town to avoid this business, or queenie's started her jubilee feast early.

it's going to get worse until tuesday, the actual jubilee date

I've so far not seen much other than ubiquitous Union Jacks and the occasional hint of a hipster Jubilee party. If there was ever a weekend begging for pissing rain it's this one, and it's a happy outcome so far.

My street got closed off for a street party but it was pretty subdued.

There's a great semi-detached house up the road where half of it is decked out in union jacks and the other half someone has hung a giant red anarchy flag out the window.

I've put up fake bunting in my window that spells out "MAGNA CARTA" and "God save the NHS" - the latter has been especially popular with random people standing outside my flat.

thank god this bullshit will be over after this weekend.

SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING CUNT QUEENIE

― A++++++ would deal with again (Matt #2), Saturday, 2 June 2012 19:13 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh god where is the LIKE button when you need it?

can I just say that I vicariously love this thread

carry on chaps

this caused us a massive amount of ballache at work last week, and we've got coverage going on every day until Thursday

i am being made to go and watch the flotilla. srsly fuck the jubilee & fuck the queen.

fuck the pope too, i'm not bigoted.

Maybe fuck the flotilla, Tailpipe Man style? At least it would give the BBC something to show other than soggy people waving flags.

really wish i could hotwire hms belfast and run amok

hoping for some tribute-to-mountbatten boat fireworks.

I am sitting in the warm, drinking coffee and listening to the mbv eps. Now I have to go and watch some boats. BOATS. Queen on a fucking boat. Why can't my gf be ashamed of being british like normal people?

"we've taken a lot of our inspiration from mad men" - "50s" jubilee cosplay woman on telly

not seen much bunting in bethnal green, though anytime i've been outside i've been absolutely out of my mind from drink so i might not have noticed.

I've seen almost no signs of any Jubilee celebration, which is fine by me - there was a slightly sad string of red, white and blue bunting on the local school gate yesterday morning, but I think it fell off in the wind and rain last night

dunno if this is because I'm not in London, or because I don't watch TV

really wish i could hotwire hms belfast and run amok

― DG, Sunday, 3 June 2012 12:41 (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hoping for some tribute-to-mountbatten boat fireworks.

― woof, Sunday, 3 June 2012 12:46 (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

booming posts

what does bother me is people being all jolly hockeysticks about it in work, like otherwise intelligent people kind of forcing themselves to be excited. between this and the olympics i keep thinking of "the parallel campaign" from "the man without qualities".

seem to remember there's an apposite Slipknot song for this eventuality

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjveFZaGMpw

I work on the Strand and am keeping a mental note of all the business i'm never going to buy from again. Pret have a sign out front saying that they're "keeping the area outside their shop clean for the Queen" which i'm sure will delight anyone who has been tripping over their rubbish for the last nine years.

rainbow bunting in camberwell

Sat in Tate modern restaurant fucking this jubilee with scallops #bestofbothworlds

This thread is a bit like reading the reports from last summer's riots, except with bunting rather than looting.

Re. Algerian Goalkeeper upthread - '77 Silver Jubilee was a pretty big deal in Uddingston (particularly at the Kylepark end). There was a huge procession down Main Street on the Saturday; I hid in the library and read Black Music by LeRoi Jones. Such were my teenage wonder years.

Totally agree with Ronan about the jolly hockeysticks chat at work about this.

always put the radio on when i'm in the kitchen. 2 minutes of Richard Fucking Bacon being all flip and hilarious and some unknown fucking toady explaining the Byzantine rituals of the monarchy in lickspittle awe. then they went over to Ross Kemp. then i punted the radio thru the fucking window.

OMG, Jack Harkness is there! *suspicious*

I am enjoying the extra day off work, which is the real point of this. I remain ambivalent towards the celebratory aspect of the whole thing but nevertheless have been dragged to Bermondsey to look at ships. Drinking beer with friends and having a day off work is good, regardless of the reason for it. Also, not in front of a tv, which helps.

Ten years ago, a feckless young MP writes something about the monarchy:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2002/jun/05/davidcameron.politicalcolumnists

Tory crawls up the Queen's dick shocker

I live in a hamlet of less than 100 souls near the small country town of Chipping Norton. There is no pub, shop, village hall or church. The only time we meet is on the road, usually passing each other in cars courtroom 73 at the RCJ.

had i read that then i could have been hating cameron so much earlier, wasted opportunity.

i don't remember the last jubilee being such a big deal, maybe i had no dealings with the outside world at that point (dark years of late teenhood at work), maybe it's just that i wasn't in london. whatever the case, awa in shite, queenie.

I vaguely recall something about the Conservative party getting a call from Buckingham Palace recommending him for a position in their research department on the day he was meant to be interviewing for the same.

I am not actually sure I know what a jubilee is

"Let out all the prisoners/ 'cos that's a jubilee"

... according to the Stranglers, who are my first port of call in these matters

i can't remember if it's still legally okay to call for her execution on Facebook

You can't even incite a riot on Facebook anymore!

time was you could talk shite about killing people without going to jail.

oh it's not shite i'm perfectly serious

head on a pole, the lot

Cameron "I'm knackered.. Was it handing out 100 jubilee mugs and pens to primary school children in Witney? Crowning the May Day King and Queen in Bladon?.. "
KNACKERED after judging some maypole dancers, lobbing coconuts at a shy and handing out 1 00 pens to some kids?? i mean does that not say it all..

Fucking boats. 50 sea cadets are sailing to a place that no-one sails to.

^^^ brief history of the British Empire

Totally agree with Ronan about the jolly hockeysticks chat at work about this.

yeah same

what's really struck me is just the DOZINESS with which this seems to have manifested itself - like I keep seeing bars and stuff advertising idk Jubilee drinks deals or something, and using Pistols/Jamie Reid ripoff artwork, but giving no indication that they're anything other than delighted about the whole royal deal

we're all Situationists now

Is that another word for "cunts"?

Wasn't a jubilee a Jewish debt-cancellation festival? She could sell a few horses and pictures, wipe the overdrafts of several 1000 subjects.

britain won the european gymnastics championships! when did we get good at gymnastics?!

Aye, the men's, no-one watches that

HEY GUYS IT'S GREAT TO BE BRITISH TODAY!!!!

we'll win everything at the olympics as long as we remember what makes britain GREAT.

killing foreigners?

George Osborne's feelbad austerity measures have put the Great back into British gymnastics

High bar exercise, low interest rates

Reasonably appalled at myself waiting for the spectacle in front of the 7th floor windows at the Tate, trying to remain aloof. Parents no monarchists but fairly excited by the flotilla and bells etc, my mum was at the coronation so y'know once in a lifetime part of history etc etc.

Got in here before Tracey Emin btw, saw her queuing at the desk, no respect for YBA royalty here.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/queen-tried-to-use-state-poverty-fund-to-heat-buckingham-palace-2088179.html

keep wanting bin laden to appear

a large pirate's galley with bin laden, saddam, the wests, gordown brown, raoul moat

galleon even

Too early for Mick Philpott

http://a.yfrog.com/img876/9452/3stee.jpg

And so we see the Royal Floatilla pass the marvellous Tate & Lyle works at Silvertown, catch a glimpse of the splendour of the Beckton sewage works, and finally come to rest at Thamesmead.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/oct/30/prince-charles-offered-veto-legislation

It would have been a nice no-hard-feelings gesture to invite Michael Fagan onto her boat.

Worst nanu nanu ever. xxxpost

Had to nip up to Church Street to get a birthday card for a friend. Can confirm that Hackney's historical home of leftists, radicals and free thinkers is bedecked with more flags and bunting per square inch than Disneyland. It was like stepping onto the deck of HMS Cuntington.

And the fucking coffee shop was shut and all. If Daniel Defoe was here he'd be choking on his quinoa.

Re. Algerian Goalkeeper upthread - '77 Silver Jubilee was a pretty big deal in Uddingston (particularly at the Kylepark end). There was a huge procession down Main Street on the Saturday; I hid in the library and read Black Music by LeRoi Jones. Such were my teenage wonder years.

i was 4 and just about to start primary school and i remember it being a huge deal. The golden jubilee noone seemed to bother with despite the media trying its best. I think last years royal wedding has made them popular again with a new generation of cunts.

primary school in east kilbride that is (left EK in march p1 btw)

"Shame. Such a shame about the weather." lol. Looks like Lizzie has gone inside for a Gin & Dubonnet. Might join her soon.

I do remember Fergie's wedding. I was about 10 and fancied her, I recall. Odd boy.

That was the only street party I ever experienced. That all seems like a different time.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-18317092

Via Twitter The London Ambulance Service

tweets: At #diamondjubilee pageant with @stjohnambulance we have treated 369 patients and 64 of them have been taken to hospital

even the toffs are part of Broken Britain

Could have been a mass outbreak of the vapours, in fairness.

The Golden Jubilee was eclipsed a tad by the World Cup, I remember the Pinefox writing a great piece about that weekend for Freakytrigger.

Cheer up everyone, the flag waving idiots are being absolutely shat on out there. Proof that god hates the institution of monarchy.

King of kings? Hypocrite

he's certainly hating on outside broadcast units today

has the coverage just been hours of slow moving boats? bore us into subservience.

As a Belgian, I'm deeply honoured that you celebrate your 1-0 victory over our football team in such a great way.

my mum was at the coronation so y'know once in a lifetime part of history etc

but this is manufactured history. the jubilee date by itself, is nothing especially historic because there is no guarantee that anything of note would happen on that date, except by coincidence. so, all this hooplah is created to commemorate it.

one imagines a committee sitting around at a table saying, what sort of crap can we do that will look good on the telly and get people excited? say, let's build a fancy barge. it worked for Cleopatra!

"6 Music Playlist John Lydon" right below the Jubilee coverage on the BBC's homepage, is someone at the Beeb being a bit trolly, or is this just modern Britain where nothing is political any more?

text from my scottish mate: "how's the weather in glasgow? there's a force 9 cunt storm blowing down the thames"

should be rod stewart amirite xp

I am cunt-ing
I am cunt-ing
Down the Tha-ames
Down the Thames
I am cunt-ing
Like a bastard
To be cunted
Once again

a+ schedule trolling

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01c99nm

"without the queen, we'd be a republic by now" - man on channel 4 news (nb not jon snow)

less than delighted that a third of the street parties in scotland took place in glasgow, were ran by the orange bastards, and funded by glasgow city council.

the jubilee date by itself, is nothing especially historic

it's an anniversary - or do you denigrate birthdays too? not sticking up for bertha, just sayin'.

ok so it's an anniversary on an arbitrary date which seems to coincide with nothing in particular except her made-up birthday ¯\(º_o)/¯

A lot of the human sewer from Kent/whatever the fuck on the train this morning -- what would have been a nice and quietly pleasant 20 mins turned into a monday morning 45 min bollocks, but w/crying kids!

i have a lot of reservations about the english republic and the men behind it, but today I am in a space where I find their quasi-judicial execution of the monarch an uplifting lesson from history. We could do it.

do you denigrate birthdays too?

having accumulated a fairly large number of birthdays by now, I find I am amassing rather a surplus and no longer have enough space to store them all.

a+ schedule trolling

we got away with Wa11is Simpson's Secret L3tters, but weren't allowed Prince Char1es' Secret Mistr3ss

we get tomorrow off cos it's june, and nobody has to put up any bunting about it neither.

ms mac is wont to hover on this shit on bbc1 when channehopping, i have raised my voice several times today

what the hell is gonna happen when charles becomes king. that seems almost unimaginable tbh.

they can combine his coronation and state funeral

one direction in for some literal grave-dancing.

bring out yer rotten veg, King Charlie's in town

It is so nice of Matt DC to remember something I wrote and even say - rather generously - that it was great. Thanks, DC.

amongst all the flags around here someone has stuck up a 'vote BNP' poster (featuring heart-shaped union flag) outside the local irish pub.

was totally unprepared for the atmosphere last night, lots of really aggressive braying britishness on display. i really didn't think it would be a thing.

no flags in whitechapel

i watched some documentaries about Burnley in 1968 - oddly one was about the royal visit there

oh great, coverage of a toffs picnic then a concert to follow

ffs
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18318304

and
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18320373

Joe Butler, 25, who has travelled down from Sheffield, told the BBC News website he was looking forward to seeing artists from different generations.

"And you know what, it's really nice to be proud to be British for once - you see lots of Americans with flags but not usually us."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/art/art-news/9310201/Banksy-draws-the-Queen-as-Ziggy-Stardust.html

Don't they have no Googles at The Telegraph HQ? That's Aladdin Sane. FFS.

Yes, it'a pretty depressing that I'm going to have to write about the Barlow/Commonwealth EP. Am assuming that there will be plenty of copies clogging up the charity shop by the time I get to it. Thought about getting a copy in just in case but even at a fiver I want to spend it on music I like.

I don't know whether there's a connection between it being the Diamond Jubilee and all the Skr*wdr*v*r CDs I saw in the charity shop earlier today.

I'd like to say: well, kids, now you know how I felt in 1977, but at least there was some resistance or counter-argument, even if it just came down to buying the Pistols single. Now London is like being in an episode of The Prisoner. You half expect Rover to come smothering people who don't have bunting displayed in their front window. Just this stupid, blandly-grinning-face "yes" to everything, to unearned privilege, to people getting shat on and loving it, because that's what fucking Britain and British people do. Still stuck in the sixteenth century, in so many ways.

ive been reading all weekend, had to go to newsagent earlier via road full of bunting and mongs

the children seemed to be enjoying it so who knows

also britain is still better than kenya where potato thieves are doused with petrol and set on fire

has there been any republican controversy/challops or anything or has the media i have been avoiding just been wall to wall encomium

I believe Theresa May's having a meeting about that on Wednesday.

Not much Jubilee mood (or bunting) evident in south London today; wonder if, outside the media or being whipped up by the media, anybody truly gives a toss about the thing.

(xp)

Apparently the Queen's now gone off to look after Phil the Greek in hospital. Wouldn't it be something if she wasn't able to attend this "party"? Gary Barlow groaning as chance of knighthood goes down drain for at least another decade.

not heard one single band or anything say anything remotely anti-monarchy. Not that i'd expect anything from todays posh bland 'artists'.

At the Golden Jubilee concert in 2002 Queen guitarist Brian May played the National Anthem on the roof of Buckingham Palace - this year pop veterans Madness will perform Our House atop the palace.

i don't remember 2002 at all

Lucky you.

so the line up is
Stevie Wonder
Elton John
Sir Paul McCartney
Sir Cliff Richard
Sir Tom Jones
Gary Barlow
Dame Shirley Bassey

And Robbie Williams, Ed Sheeran, JLS, Kylie Minogue, Jessie J, Annie Lennox and Madness.

i remember the queen mother's 100th birthday being kind of a thing whenever that was

It's been pretty easy to ignore the jubilee really. It was a bit irritating having to navigate the hordes at Vauxhall Bridge yesterday and St James Park today, but I've been able to enjoy two less busy than usual 9 or 10 mile walks across London.

I remember 2002 being way more oppressive than this. On our street there is one (1) Union Jack flag hung in a window. That's it.

this year seems so much more being made of it than 2002

this year it seems really apiece with the general ambience cuz of the coalition, olympics and all the rest of it

british ppl are just vile mostly

tbf it's only the ones out there waving flags and desperately pretending that something important is happening that are vile.

A lot of the human sewer from Kent/whatever the fuck on the train this morning -- what would have been a nice and quietly pleasant 20 mins turned into a monday morning 45 min bollocks, but w/crying kids!

― xyzzzz__, Sunday, June 3, 2012 8:54 PM (Yesterday)

like i get this completely -- once you get 20 miles out of london the home counties are just dreadful

north kent is about as grim as a place can be whilst still probably being in the wealthiest 5% of the world

not heard one single band or anything say anything remotely anti-monarchy. Not that i'd expect anything from todays posh bland 'artists'.

― it looks like something rupert the bear would wear (Algerian Goalkeeper), Monday, June 4, 2012 6:46 PM (26 minutes ago)

the only 2002 related thing i remember was the sex pistols reunion which even then was not really a thing, even the tabs treated it as a contrived sideshow

i guess if the dude from muse called the queen a cunt it might maybe be a thing

like that is going to happen

everyone begs for a knighthood these days

there must be one independently wealthy entertainer who would rather have a jan moir column about them and a protected wikipedia page than a MBE for services to the creative industries

nobody listens to Bobby Gillespie anymore

i would def be up for bobby gillespie trending on twitter and getting harassed by sky news reporters in the streets of primrose hill

i guess if the dude from muse called the queen a cunt it might maybe be a thing

More likely that the Queen would call the guy from Muse a cunt.

Nakh is in Queen?

link my brother just sent me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUyJ5CdqgAE

What time is Morrissey on?

Moztime™

moz on just after frankie vaughan, duet with alma cogan iirc.

Grace Jones and her hula hoop has just redeemed this sorry spectacle.

my jam for today
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6QZOx1M52c

I wondered if will.i.am would be there but of course the fucker is.

not heard one single band or anything say anything remotely anti-monarchy. Not that i'd expect anything from todays posh bland 'artists'.

Moz has noticed the vacuum and stepped up.

every single commenter appears to be pro-royal

wait hold the fuckin phone, a FOUR DAY PUBLIC HOLIDAY?? is that including the weekend?

Yes, it is.

Still. So damn jealous.

omg morrissey is doing something for this?

lol

My co-worker, who might be insane and is def not British in any way, is obsessed with this. She's baking cupcakes tonight. Like, union jack ones with little flags. I'm not complaining if it means free baked goods but it's still p weird.

3...4...5 days - depends who's counting

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2153615/Queens-Diamond-Jubilee-Civil-servants-FIVE-days-just-three.html

ugh at the headline http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2154217/Queens-Diamond-Jubilee-2012-The-Britain-feared-wed-lost--sail-more.html

Melanie Philips can go and eat shit. Probably would as well if there was a Union Jack flag stuck in it.

distburbing images of melanie philips getting a hot lunch via a union flag

John Bull(shit), GB's answer to Hot Carl.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/06/04/article-2154539-1372EE96000005DC-271_964x544.jpg

CAPTION CONTEST
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/06/04/article-2154539-1372F00E000005DC-150_964x621.jpg

"Kick me in the bollocks!"
"I can't I'm wearing a bin liner!"

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/60696000/jpg/_60696491_014944039-1.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/06/04/article-2154539-1372EE96000005DC-271_964x544.jpg

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2012/Jun/Week1/16241388.jpg

must it really?

the express front page isnt there yet, probably still trying to figure out a way to get Diana in it somehow

posted under the #proudtobebritish hashtag on Twitter: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jun/04/jubilee-pageant-unemployed

A group of long-term unemployed jobseekers were bussed into London to work as unpaid stewards during the diamond jubilee celebrations and told to sleep under London Bridge before working on the river pageant.

"Tomorrow's People is one of eight youth charities that were supported in the Guardian and Observer's Christmas appeal last year."

top work graun

I love how this is barely even making news in Australia, that Ive noticed. Not right-in-our-faces frontpage news anyway.

your prime minister lit one of the beacons in Australia

Thats about the only thing anyone did, tho, afaik. Like people here wouldnt have parties or nowt.

Except maybe ironic hipsters having tea parties or some shite.

I'm sure some of the RSL's have shindigs planned, lol

i have the biggest crush on your princess it's sad

lol

Thats about the only thing anyone did, tho, afaik.

this caused us a massive amount of ballache at work last week,

if only I could go into this

Oh yeah I had that in mind when I said what I did (and felt bad) - I'm sure you guys have been pounded with BS about this :/ I'm not the best person to be saying "lol nothings happening here" when I never watch fucking tv.

9ine are showing Madness on the roof tonight!

what's the story with the royal spaz face, do they get cosmetic surgery to have those gigantic cuntface jaws?

http://www.sportsrubbish.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/big-book-of-british-smiles.jpg

<3 the title of this thread

i have managed to avoid the j*bilee completely this weekend. saturday got fucked up at a bbq. sunday spent in darkened living room watching the tennis eating polenta, deliberately not answering parental phone calls. monday went to see the patrick keiller exo at the tate and then prometheus.

in between though i checked twitter and why the fuck was everyone glued to the fucking thing? this country has no self-respect. seeing otherwise intelligent people queue up to pledge their fucking allegiance to the fucking queen is immensely depressing.

and that's before we even get to this story http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jun/04/jubilee-pageant-unemployed

KEEP CALM AND BUS IN SLAVE LABOUR

some pissed-up dick in a red, white and blue shirt was moaning at us in the pub last night because they had the rugby on and not the royal V festival, bad luck mate welcome to Hull lolololololol

My boss must have been looking at some pics of the hullaballoo and said aloud today "aw I wish I could be in London for all this, it looks like fun!". I laughed and informed her of the general attitude of everyone I know (ie everyone in this thread lol) and she was genuinely baffled! "why would they have such a problem with it?". Bless her parochial narrow minded brain.

not seen anyone talk about it on twitter but 3 people on fb have pictures of queens and all that and one had baked a cake with a flag on it

Most of my timeline are either ignoring it or being snarky republicans about it. But there's one woman - I mean, she's a very sweet human being, but she seems to be getting very angry about the snarky republicans and saying "why are you so intent on spoiling other people's fun?" and threatening to block people. I kinda want to say "why are you spoiling the only fun that snarky republicans can find in this whole debacle?" but that would be inappropriate, I guess.

I do seem to have successfully avoided most of the whole thing - mainly by staying inside glued to creative endeavours on my laptop - but I'm just kind perplexed by people's interest in it. On both sides, flag-waving royalists and snarky republicans. It's pretty easy to avoid if you want. Even in London.

right now, right at this very second, this is my favourite thread of all time

Went to see my parents yesterday, they had spent all of Sunday glued to the TV watching the pageant "because we wanted to see the boats" and were then annoyed by all the rah-rahing. So I had to try quite hard not to point out that I am having a cheerful jubilee-free time what with not watching TV, buying newspapers, or looking at any news websites, as I realise that for some people having no idea what's going on in the world is an unacceptable lifestyle choice, and they're probably right

though I did stop to go "ha, look at this bad taste" at 1. a sudden blossoming of flags all over the front of the local pub 2. a giant union flag traybake in Tesco yesterday. and then headed into the centre of town where I saw absolutely no sign of anything happening whatsoever

Would've thought Whitechapel was the least likely place in London to be making a big deal out of the jubilee, with the exception of I dunno Kilburn or somewhere else with loads of Irish people.

Revolting levels of bunting on the bus through Dulwich yesterday, although there appeared to be a few fun parties going on in Brixton it's difficult to say whether they were jubilee related per se or just taking advantage of the long weekend. No bunting in Brixton obviously.

Otherwise have managed to avoid most of it, largely due to barely turning the TV on all weekend.

Barely left Whitechapel since Thursday. The only Jubilee related events I've seen are;

One miserable flag hanging from Booth House (homeless shelter)
A local nuisance mad woman ranting in Budgens yesterday morning that she didn't have a day off.
Some very drunk people outside Indo chanting 'Jubilee' like 'Vindaloo', one of them in drag.

the problem with TV news and newspapers is that they're more or less the last place to find out about what's going on in the world

not a single flag on commercial road - even the tesco metro hasn't bothered:D

oh god i know that 'grandma slut' as my gf described him last night. avoided all this depressing nonsense by installing slsk on an old pc laptop, watched a fish called wanda and made some mixes for friends. gonna try s1ocki's honey garlic bbq chicken today, not a bad couple of days off tbh

watched this

http://survivingprogress.com/

on BBC4 last night. put the other bollocks nicely into perspective. might be on iPlayer for a bit.

I kinda want to say "why are you spoiling the only fun that snarky republicans can find in this whole debacle?" but that would be inappropriate, I guess.

you guess rong imo

Tomorrow's People sounds like a band that released one single on Deram in 1968: Trip to Narnia b/w Smoky Jack.

switched on the radio earlier to find the normally twee 'call you and yours' had become some sort of bloody nuremberg rally

LOL, I heard that too. Even worse, Bonnie Greer was on it.

Swivel-eyed Nazi caller: "You talked about the 'so-called' indigenous peoples of the United Kingdom..."

Bonnie (dripping condescension): "I did not use the phrase 'so-called' indigenous peoples."

... she did use the phrase 'so-called' indigenous peoples, like 15 seconds beforehand

I was at a DIY festival Saturday/Sunday, and watched that Surviving Progress documentary last night than NV linked to - definitely interesting stuff, and no Jubilee for me.

I was quite surprised at the number of twitter/facebook people watching the Jubilee concert - I mean, it's terrible music in celebration of a bunch of terrible cunts, why bother watching even in order to mock? If there was a chance of something good or interesting happening then I could see why, even if you're against the monarchy, but the lineup was fucking awful and security would've been way too tight for any protesty stuff to happen...

Co-worker made the cupcakes.

used to want to debate with racists about what the nature of "indigenous" peoples are but then i realised they were racists and they aren't really that interested

ime anybody who even pretends to be watching royal-y stuff ironically is not-very-secretly just watching it cos they like it

OTM

I suppose there's also the thing of 'wanting to be informed' - it's been shoved at us so strongly that you do get the feeling that *everyone* will be watching, which preys on your sense of wanting to be kept in the loop and able to communicate with your fellows. But it's just the same trick most advertising pulls, it's not real.

Categorically not wanting to be informed in this case, tbh

ive managed to avoid all of it, thankfully got away without even posting about it

feeling just fractionally more informed than i wannabe

Yeah, pretty much.

I wonder if Cockroach News of Cockroach England has had anything to say about the Jubilee?

tried to watch a chunk in compromise gesture to gf & her daughter, but parade of toadeaters, paedos, toffs forced me out of the room. it came through the wall while I was in exile - my brain had already given up by the Robbie-sings-Brecht moment.

NV otm, if you think you are watching it just so you can make remarks on twitter abt Jessie J/princess beatrice/will.i.am's clothes there is probably something wrong with your life + you should take a close look at your principles.

(posting to ilx totally diff, obvs)

going on ppl's descriptions the bit where Madness were doing 'Our House' and a hueg block of council houses got projected onto the palace sounded p lol

would've sat through maybe... 20 mins of whatever else to see that

Arab On Radar were playing London on the day of the 2002 jubilee, but after watching the jubilee concert on TV I was so disgusted at humanity I couldn't face hearing any more music of whatever sort, so I stayed at home instead. Then AOR split up, so I never got to see them. But I did see Brian May playing God Save The Queen on the roof of Buckingham Palace, so that was something.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/06/04/article-2154539-1372EE96000005DC-271_964x544.jpg

we should get so high before grandmas thing

in all seriousness I think Arab On Radar would've appreciated going head to head for yr affections w/ Brian May playing the national anthem on a palace roof

is this jubilee shit over now then?

What 'indigenous peoples'? The Piskies?

(During the Jubilee celebrations last time Something Very Bad happened to me, but y'know, marking the ten year anniversary of a sexual assault is a little bit too maudlin, even for me.)

((Things on ILX you wish you hadn't said but you kinda had to))

Let's make more piskie jokes.

PISKIE RIGHTS AND PEACE!!!!

did david starkey have some public mental implosion on itv? wasn't watching :(

not sure what wd count for a public meltdown for TV racist David Starkey tbh

Meanwhile ITV prompted controversy with its Jubilee coverage yesterday when it pitched the historian Dr David Starkey against Prof Simon Schama, who was commentating on the service of thanksgiving for BBC1. Starkey called Nicolas Sarkozy a “nasty jumped up little spiv” and his successor as French President, Francois Hollande, “a second rate provincial school master”.

business as usual by the looks of it

from what i can gather from twitter he started ranting about communists and burst into tears

aww man i'll look out for that on Youtube

prescott's on the case

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jun/05/call-inquiry-jobseekers-jubilee-stewards

geez haven't you guys murdered the royal family yet

we would but we don't know where they live

I've been looking forward to the Olympics for years, as I do with every Olympics, but these flag waving cunts are going to ruin it, aren't they?

yep

the olympics are for wastemen too so

the fitba team of gareth bale, a couple of token olds and a load of token malnourished spides from the provinces is going to be so bad

TEAM GB

Carl Diem devised the idea of the torch relay for the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin that was organized by the Nazis under the guidance of Joseph Goebbels. Krupp armaments company produced the torches in wood and metal, inspired by an olive leaf. The Olympic Flame was lit by a concave mirror in Olympia, Greece and transported over 3,187 kilometres by 3,331 runners in twelve days and eleven nights from Greece to Berlin.

http://i.imgur.com/7MOtD.jpg

who knew the Nazis were into torches?

this jubilee rules guys, keep up the good work

kicks the shit out of the last jubilee IMO

i should probably watch derek jarman's jubilee at some point i guess

The film had many critics in British punk circles. Fashion designer Vivienne Westwood manufactured a T-shirt on which was printed an "open letter" to Jarman denouncing the film and his misrepresentations of punk.[1] Jarman described the project as "a film about punk" during pre-production, but later explained that it had a much broader thematic scope.[citation needed]

The Nazis were definitely into large scale public spectacle and were quite good at it.

you calling this german royal family nazis?

Think Hitler would have demanded something a bit more impressive than Gary Barlow and a few boats in the torrential rain.

at least marching down the Thames

yeah u could create a giant heat pump to get pulis and co to march the olympic flame up the thames estuary to the strains of elvis costello

Kinda bored with people lazily conflating the Olympics and the Jubilee into one orgy of bourgeois indulgence. At least the Olympics involve people with actual talent.

yeah Olympics actual events are great, and highly addictive tv watching...the pomp around it can git tae fuck almost always

Me? Call the royals nazis? Never! I let them speak for themselves.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/Q/k/prince_harry_nazi.jpg

the olympics is either a distractionary nonevent in the major sports like football, tennis, even boxing now tbh, else it's the grim spectacle of unpopular hobbyist sports suddenly becoming a populist cause célebre cuz the participants happen to be british

oh there's athletics which is great for abt 9.6 seconds before david sullivan annexes the venue

it was good when Australia won all the swimming events remember that ;_;

i can happily conflate the jubilee and olympics as things i fucking hate :D

jubilympics

xps '* Asked to give Duke of Edinburgh his uniform back'

All we need is for David Jason to come on as Del Boy and say "lovely Jubilympics"

About 15,700 results (0.22 seconds)

Jubilympics 2012 - Jubilympics 2012 Home
www.jubilympics2012.co.uk/
The Jubilympics 2012 Site. ... uplifting, almost stylish 2-for-1 'Jubilympics' mug! The Jubilympics 2012 Commemorative Mug. The perfect gift for friends, ...

wait are people actually saying Jubilympics? fuck those people!

can't believe dem bourgies would conflate two totally different rituals of participatory meaningfulness, holistic volkism and celebratory obeisance in that way

Del Boy could say it WHILE FALLING THROUGH A FUCKING BAR.
COMEDY GOLD!!!

I would expect that from you DG though. You were the boy in primary school who told all the children santa didnt exist.

i did much worse than that!

AHAHHA WHERE IS YOUR SANTA NOW

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/Q/k/prince_harry_nazi.jpg

Nazi Harry told to see Holocaust film Shoah would've been more to the point.

pretty sure harry has never gone more than a shoah runtime without blapping a debutante or vomitting on something plush

http://www.theonion.com/articles/diamond-jubilee-marred-by-drunken-queen-elizabeth,28422/

lol that got me

I was worried that my village (as it's also a RAF base) would be terrible, as far as flags and bunting etc. - but not a single instance. Perhaps the Scottish factor won the day. There was, however a fete thing on a football pitch today, but I played the dour republican and just got drunk reading books in my local (which was the 'toilets' for the fair - never trust local council or the MOD to arrange anything).

And it's not like this crap is over - the Olympic torch is coming through in a week or so. :(

get out the piano wire yeah :D

Thinking of putting up a banner across the street - can't think of a slogan though. The best (sigh) I've come up with is 'Jobs and Justice, not Jewels and Javelins'. Maybe 'Jubilees and javelins'. But that's rubbish. and long. 'Fuck the Tories' is more concise, but maybe more likely to attract the police's ire.

http://twitpic.com/show/thumb/9s3d5k.png

just tomorrows newspapers to avoid and it should be over

we all are the queen of england, merry jubilee to us all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUyJ5CdqgAE

that woman from Pomplamoose has kinda let herself go

zzzzzzzzzzz

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jun/05/diamond-jubilee-institution

It's good to be reminded every few years that I live in a nation of servile, craven toadies who will happily traipse halfway across the country to stand in the rain waving plastic flags (made in China) at some sourfaced old bag whose greatest achivement is she hasn't died yet, but wouldn't lift a finger to help one of their fellow Britons because it's "none of their business" and "nothing to do with me". Hooray for us!

Well...

We've gone from a silver jub which 'entertained' dissent in the form of a song called "God save the queen" which was about a youth going to waste and nothing about any jubilee (entertained just as long as you accepted being beaten up by lovers of free speech with caveats and lovers of free expression of thumping people)

.. to , um, etc.

Was there an 'entertainment' of the kind of the last nights 'pop music' jambree? I don't recall one.

So, they've gone from 'out-and-out worship, or nothing' of churchinness and stuff, into a knees up and a bunch of jokes at her expense, no offence marm, lots of 'one' references and 'no stuffiness now'..

(The question was referencing the silver jub, obv).

I think the abiding memory of the golden jubilee show was the 'Brian May' moment, all shudder...

THANK FUCK ITS OVER

THANK FUCK ITS OVER

― it looks like something rupert the bear would wear (Algerian Goalkeeper),

it's not over yet
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/18353275

it's still going [via question time]