People names that wouldn't work or would sound strange for dogs

I used to think the 12 Apostles' names were the prototype of this (John? Matthew? Mark?) but Luke would actually work for a dog. I don't suppose there are many dogs named Jesus (hay-zoos).
For girl dogs, I suppose Jennifer, Stephanie and Madison would be starters.

Aurora
Florence

Florence totally works if you have another dog named The Machine

Or if you just call her Flo Dog for short

my old family dog was called jennifer! i have no idea why my parents called her that.

Dog names that don't quite work are the best. Same for cats. The only reason I want a cat is so I can call it Steve.

Yeah I keep thinking I've come up with a good one but then I let it sink in and it's like "No, actually, a dog named Jefferson would be bad ass."

Gary
Timothy
Susan
Jennifer
Darren
Chad
Melissa

I think these up all the time, and they amuse me terribly.

Florence totally works if you have another dog named The Machine

― Lil Swayne of Pie (DJP), Friday, August 17, 2012 2:06 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok lol

i have long been an advocate of naming dogs human names that don't lend themselves to diminutives. like gary

xp!

Oh, just saw the Jennifer above. I love that an actual dog was called that.

susan!!

i have long been an advocate of naming dogs human names that don't lend themselves to diminutives. like gary

xp!

― catbus otm (gbx), Friday, August 17, 2012 3:16 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Me too! Though I think it was funnier before that asshat had to name the dog on Family Guy Brian.

Gary is a good one. This is my dog, my dog Gary.

Gary might be the best dog name ever.

if we get a pet, no matter what type of animal it is, I am naming it D'Shawn or L'Shawn depending on its gender

I approve.

maybe we'll get matching goldfish

I wanted to name Benson Mr. Belvedere and introduce him as such etc. but the kibosh was put on that idea pretty quickly. Hmpf. I like pet names with Mr. in them.

Dog names that don't quite work are the best. Same for cats. The only reason I want a cat is so I can call it Steve.

― (✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Friday, August 17, 2012 2:08 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In college I was in a band and our bass player had a dog named Steve. It worked surprisingly well.

My dog's name is Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Jr. He does OK with it.

I had a dog, his name was Jim

^those are lyrics to a phish song fyi

the only examples of this i can think of are things i think equally dont work as human names

ira
eunice
ursula

I have a co-worker who named her dog Charlie Higgins. (NB her last name is not Higgins. She just named the dog that.)

sam is good, because you could say "mornin' sam" to him every day.

The only reason I want a cat is so I can call it Steve.

haha the only reason I've wanted a dog is to call it Steve!

My dog's name is Carl and once I had a dog named Gene. I only name my dogs these names, I guess.

colin
peter
richard

Mark
Brad
Carol
Linda

I wanted to call our first dog Dodsworth but Dad said nay.

I still won: his name was Jake.

see, Peter would become Petey; Richard, Ricky

That's why Carol and Linda are perfect for dogs.

Greg

no, they are different names, that's cheating. you could dogify any name based on that xp.

not Gary or Susan or Linda

Carl has been a v good name for my dog for the last 9 years. He seems to like it. He has nicknames but they are not directly related to Carl.

gal/gaz, sue, lin. xp

yeah all my dog nicknames end up being things like "fathead"

Abraham

Willard.

Michelle

I'm thinking through friends and acquaintances and the only names I can think of that might be iffy are:

Korland
Sol
Amanda
Vivian
Keshav
Varsha
Lourdes
Dierdre

in general, male names seem to just work for dogs

omg Michelle

Pilar

When I was a kid I really wanted a cat and for some reason I insisted on naming it Mark. So my parents relented and I went and picked out a kitten that happened to be female and we named it Mark.

Simon & Garfunkel

I think that Ira would work awesomely as long as it was a Jewish dog.

Mark the lady cat! Awesome.

Horatio

yeah all my dog nicknames end up being things like "fathead"

― catbus otm (gbx), Friday, August 17, 2012 3:40 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Benson's most common nickname is Mr. Poops because when he was a puppy he pooped a lot so I started calling him the poopy which just stuck but more often than not becomes Mr. Poops.

My dog's name is Carl and once I had a dog named Gene. I only name my dogs these names, I guess.

― these albatrosses have no fear of man (La Lechera), Friday, August 17, 2012 3:32 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Carl's been used:

http://gooddogcarl.com/Good_Dog_Carl/Home.html

I like the idea of dogs with three-syllable, like Christopher or Nicholas

esp waspy names I guess

I spend like, half of my walking life coming up with hypothetical dog names and I still haven't found one I like.

This thread makes me feel less guilty about wanting to have two cats named Rick and Jeff.

I don't think naming a dog Sit, Stay, or Roll Over would work out very well.

I realize my post didn't answer this question, but to be fair, doesn't essentially every common name apply to this. You wouldn't name a dog Michael or Edward or Joanne, David, Richard, Daniel, or Peter. You'd go with something less common and more evocative and/or exotic like Quincy, Tyrese, Ramon, Agatha, Hortense, Reinhold, or Beatrix.

This thread makes me feel less guilty about wanting to have two cats named Rick and Jeff.

― bentelec, Friday, August 17, 2012 4:23 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

<3

Steve would be friends with Rick and Jeff, I think.

My brother and I desperately wanted to call our dog Colin. The rest of the family vetoed us. Also she turned out to be a girl, so she's Mindy.

Richard

Caitlyn
Siobhan
Malcolm

Mohammed

I am so into naming animals people names. I called my car Mary Higgins Clark for a while but idk how much anyone but me liked that.

Now she's just Lady which is funny bcz she's not a lady she's a cat

It'd be kind of funny/morbid to name dogs after my grandparents

Phyllis
Roy
Annie

also Henry but that has been established as an EXCELLENT name for a dog

Any Biblical names (David, Sarah, Michael, Rebecca, Joshua ...).

Jesus would work, though, so maybe just Old Testament.

there are kids named michael still but not a lot of garys? gary works because it's a real people name but not something specifically associated with what's current child-naming fashion like aiden or olivia or ava.

e.g., if you had a dog named aiden i would say "awww, such a cute little guy. what games do you like to play?" but a dog named gary i'd be like "hey gary, let's go get a beer," and he'd be "word up" and i'd be all "OOOWWW" and i'd know that he knew.

something to do with generational associations and that structuralist clan relation/ totem pole logic thing is what i'm saying.

"brian" works for fg because his "real" age makes him a gen-xer and about the same age as peter instead of his actual age of about seven or whatever and therefore a member of peter's cohort and not his "child" like maybe "tyler" or "mason" would maybe.

x-post to ed.b but also in general.

Javier

It'd be kind of funny/morbid to name dogs after my grandparents

We named a wire-haired fox terrier after my grandmother (Virginia) and a stray cat after my grandfather (Arthur). Grandmother was not amused, but the dog kept her name. The cat got renamed a few times - Arthur Gray at first (was one of those all gray shorthair cats), then after it had kittens we just called it Gray.

My sister also had a cat named Keith, and I named a pet skunk (inexplicably) Sir Paul Dobbs.

omg Keith is perfect.

Wyatt
Kyle
Candice
Graham
Janet
Stacey
Paul

Caitlin

http://i.imgur.com/gKPHz.png

I would totally call my dog Keith

Gus is a pretty solid name for a dog. So much so that it seems more like a dog name than a human name. That could just be because I've never known a Gus.

i tried to find a dog called geoff but there didn't appear to be any on gis

did you try jeff?

Reg

Family friends had a cat called Malcolm and a dog called David (never Malc and Dave mind)

iirc when we got our dog my niece, who was then about 7, insisted she be called natasha. sadly it quickly turned into a tasha, which i think is much more acceptably doggyish.

there will obviously be dogs called jeff but jeff is totally different to geoff

geoff is like nigel and barry, a really special sort of name

jeff is like ted or dan or something

there are towns in england where everybody is called geoff, nigel, barry, maureen or pauline

lol

hm i feel that geoffrey is like nigel or barry, geoff seems a slightly different kettle of fish.

http://www.sesameworkshop.org/our-blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/1975_big_bird_532w.jpg

geoffrey is like norman or bernard

thought of an apt wikipedia category for geoffreys and decided this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:UK_MPs_1950%E2%80%931951

oh look there's a fellow called

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seymour_Cocks

#austerityswag

Growing up we had THREE dogs named Michelle! I named the first one, my step brother named the second one Michelle II and then he named the third one Michelle Rose.

All three dogs ran away. :(

OH NO!

A friend of mine in the 90s called her German Shepard "Alice". I thought that was odd, but also great.

RIP michelles

We had a cat wander up in the backyard a few years ago and adopt us -- I called him Bruce.

He was a real sweetheart, but we only had him less than a year. He was too sociable and trusting -- he left the safe fenced backyard and was killed by a couple of wandering dogs.

My family once catsat two boys from hell named Domino and Sweetie. For the longest time I thought that they were called Dominic and Sweeney. We also had a Moscow and now have Jake (turned out to be a girl) and Elwood.

Dogs named Hector and even one Susan. My favorites are the Roosevelt guinea pigs.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_pets

omg they're wonderful!

Angela
Sharon
Kristen

glad no one is on here dissing my cat's good name.

I called my car Mary Higgins Clark for a while

^^^best typo

My grandad's dog was called Gary and my aunt's dog was called Sheila.

Brother had a cat called Frank.

Sansa
Hortense
Chad

i am really feeling Kyle

Sheridan
Hilary

jean-claude

LL's suggestion of brad is legit hilarious as a pet name
both of my dogs have ppl names, Charlie and Simon

Yes, Brad is amazing.

Lynn

The wiki link to the presidential pets upthread is complete gold btw

Waylon

(but fuck it, I named my dog that anyway)

That's on my short-list, actually.

John Adams lol

Cyril

Sybil

12 apostles are good names for dogs. it's true that the names of the romans who crucified them would be even better names for dogs, but they're still OK dog names.

My mom has a cat named John Paul. Neither she nor the cat is Catholic.

My cat is named Brenda, which I chose b/c it sounded human-specific.

Gwen is another that sounds strange for a pet. Most of the best ones are female names.

The wiki link to the presidential pets upthread is complete gold btw

George Washington:

Sweet Lips, Scentwell and Vulcan – American Staghounds
Drunkard, Taster, Tipler and Tipsy – Black and Tan Coonhounds [5]
Royal Gift – Donkey
Nelson – Horse

John Adams:

Juno, Mark, and Satan – Dogs [5]
Cleopatra – Horse

Andrew Johnson:
Fed white mice he found in his bedroom

I expanded that as "Federal white mice he found in his bedroom"

My bro's (awesome and polite) greyhound is called Barry

Had a black Great Dane named Melissa. She lived to be 13, which our vet said was the oldest he'd ever known a Dane to get. My older brother wanted to name her By-Tor and was overruled.

curtis. gene. brian.

Our neighbours used to have a border collie cross called Neville, which always struck me as a bit incongruous. He was mostly a good boy, although if he'd been bad I'd sometimes hear bellowed berations from his owners like "NEVILLE!! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE NEVILLE!!" which was most entertaining.

Oh man that presidential pets list is the greatest thing of all time. It would totally be poll-worthy if said poll would not be absolutely impossible. I mean John Quincy Adams had a fucking alligator vs. Benjamin Harrison's opossums Mr. Reciprocity and Mr. Protection?

Make a poll! The impossibility is what makes it so fun.

i had a female cat named steven in my care for a few months

YESSSSSSSSSS

Which U.S. President had the best pets?

Carl twisted my arm. :)

Yay! Also sorry about your arm.

It's cool.

Our betta is named Carl. He's by far the best betta we've ever had. We just upped him to the 10 gallon tank with all the java moss in it and he is psyched (no other fish with him obv)

That's a good name for a pet.

Two pets named Carl itt!

here is an artistic rendering of mine
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7037/6816806450_f083eeea9e.jpg

You're a good drawer!

Oh not me, The Thnig did that! He's a v good drawer.

William Howard Taft: Caruso – Dog; Mooly Wooly and Pauline Wayne – Cows

Unable to restrain himself, President Taft ate them all.

http://www.gladwords.de/Bilder/Ueber-unsJeff2.jpg

Whereas Arthur could work for a cat, only Art would work for a dog.

feel this has crossover potential with abysmal real names

you could totally call a dog Arthur!

arfer

The temptation to shorten to Art would be insuperable I fear.

Balfour

reckon there's a four-syllable rule here maybe. perhaps a five-syllable rule.

*stands in park with tennis ball, shouts*

Veronica!
Veronicaaaa!

yeah, four-syllable rule

also harbl, if i had a cat it would be named bartleby. you can get away with more syllables in cat names than dog names because you don't have to call them all the time.

― Treeship, Monday, October 14, 2013 2:33 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

jeff's a great name for a labrador imo

JEFF...
Jeff is excitement!
Oh-ho whoa-ho-oh JEFF
Jeff is adventure!
Oh-ho whoa-ho-oh
Glamour and glitter,
Fashion and fame!

JEFF...
Jeff is truly outrageous
Truly, truly, truly outrageous
Oh-ho whoa-ho-oh JEFF...
Jeff
the music's contagious! (outrageous)

Jeff is my name
No one else is the same
Jeff is my name

But we're the misfits
Our songs are better
We are the misfits (the misfits)
and we're gonna get her

Jeff! (JEFF)
The music's contagious! (outrageous)
Jeff is my name
No one else is the same
Jeff is my name!
(JEFF)

problem is someone might think you called him geoff

that would be terrible

how do you understand the differences between geoff and jeff

aren't they pronounced differently?

also harbl, if i had a cat it would be named bartleby. you can get away with more syllables in cat names than dog names because you don't have to call them all the time.

― Treeship, Monday, October 14, 2013 2:33 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― coming back around to "treesh humpers" tbh (wins), Wednesday, October 16, 2013 8:55 PM (Yesterday)

I have a cat named Bartleby! She is the orangey one:
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b105/anytimebutnow/bartblueradiator_zpsd2b53f5f.jpg

aw i love both of them

They are cat perfection.

i also like male names for female pets for some reason. my dog is named "georgie" but i generally call her "george"

Bulent
Borka
Dalibor
Mladden
Nebosha
Ainsley

(all names of ppl I went to school with, incidentally)

My uncle has had a number of cats, all, whether male or female, named Gary

omg Michelle

― these albatrosses have no fear of man (La Lechera),

Best (gurl) friend when I was a kid had a poodle named Michelle. (because French)

Our cat's name is Francie.

We have a female cat called Trevor. Our vet says she's not the only female Trevor registered with them.

Sean

Ian

You can't call a dog David.

Ed the dog? Mmmm

David would be a great name for a dog. So would Gordon

I used to think the 12 Apostles' names were the prototype of this

Errrrrrrr, my sister's dog is called Simon

We had a cat named Ed. Jesse's other cat who isn't Brenda is named Eddie.

Jeff is a hilarious name for a pet.

Geoffrey even better?

... esp. for a male cat, Geoffrey boy cat (Britishers joke)

Jeff is a hilarious name for a pet.

― carl agatha, Thursday, 17 October 2013 14:46 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Lost dog in the park: Randall & Hpopkirk (deceased)