mayo: the devil's condiment

From Hell.

as a teenager, i washed dishes at a sandwich joint. the smell of hot mayo turning instantly rancid when it hit the dunk sink made me afeared for life. and ranch dressing was worse.

Mayo is nice. Aioli nicer.

voted for hell but every once in a blue moon i will countenance a mayo, in the right context... usually when you cant taste it

i sometimes eat slices of tomato with just mayo and a bit of pepper

salad cream, doy

I made homemade mayo once and it was p good

I think it's weird how, after you scoop out a dollop of mayo from a jar, the remaining mayo stays taut and unconforming in a post-apocalytic world, waiting for the hell breeze to blow that will cleanse the mayo landscape and rend everything flat and clean again, but that hellbreeze will never sweep the mayoplains, in a jar of mayo

Nothing at all wrong with mayo, people with food issues go find a shrink to pat your hand and say "there there, did the bad emulsion scare you"

Just kidding but nah, mayo is a good thing.

the only place I could ever really tolerate mayo was in a tuna salad, and I don't eat tuna any more so fuck mayonnaise forever and ever

and its ivy-league cousin aioli can take its refined airs and shove them up its greasy ass

for the purposes of this thread, aioli = mayo

gtfo

voted for "mayo is okay" -- if it's on a sandwich already i won't turn my nose up at it but if i'm fixing my own i'll probably opt for mustard or something.

I can get that. like if I survived a nuclear strike and there was just mayonnaise for my sandwich ok. but as long as civilization still exists, why not make use of mustard, the spread of kings

Mustard is indeed the grand piano of the condiments

sriracha mayo y'all

Mayo as a dip for vlaames frites is unspeakably unstoppably good, get that shit away from me it is delicious
Homemade mayo with hard boiled eggs and gherkins is classic beyond belief, come over some time and I will show you

you people are nuts

mayo is delicious

the only place I could ever really tolerate mayo was in a tuna salad, and I don't eat tuna any more so fuck mayonnaise forever and ever

― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, September 23, 2012 10:16 AM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark

potato salad man (light mayo obv)

Homemade mayo with hard boiled eggs and gherkins is classic beyond belief, come over some time and I will show you

gross

i only hate three foods: mayo, overcooked green beans, and ranch dressing. but of the three, mayo is the only one that offends me.

hot mayo turning instantly rancid

ok let's be fair to hot mayo, isn't it just curdling?

I put mayo on a corned beef (or was it pastrami?) sandwich last weekend. So wrong, but I don't care.

you know how if you sell a sugar-&-water-enriched fruit juice you legally have to market it as a juice-drink, to avoid confusion & admit what it is you're selling, i feel like mayonnaise should legally have to be sold as Old Hot Eggs, w/the only room for mixing up the description being in suffixes, eg Helmann's Old Hot Eggs In A Jar

vlasic "dead cucumber packed in salt water"

http://thebrooklynink.com/2012/04/09/44186-mayonnaise-only-store-opens-in-prospect-heights/

Poor nam pla would be marketed as "innards of small fish allowed to rot before some process of titration and reduction"

mayo is delicious

― horseshoe, Sunday, September 23, 2012 10:38 AM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yep. I love it.

Fries dipped in good mayo are one of the greatest things on Earth.

I quite like mayo in a shop-bought sandwich or some kind of mayo-based drizzle or aioli with a meal out, but I never feel the need to buy a jar, let alone make my own. Which is good because the other half hates mayo and I would have to hear a lot of disgusted proclamations if he found any in our fridge.

I guess I'm voting "nice" but before I moved in with such an ardent mayo-hater I'd probably have gone for "okay in small doses".

it's just that america tend to abuse it

but yea i'm a fan of a good sandwich

Mayo is excellent.

Mayo on a poultry sandwich is good.

Mayo-based "salads" are horrifying unless they are tuna salad or the salad has a shit-ton of curry powder in it

Mayo-based potato salad is like eating Rainbow Brite's stale vomit

Mayo on a hamburger is like eating a cow sneeze

I don't eat meat anymore but mayo on a bacon cheeseburger is delicious.

So is potato salad (as long as there's not too much mayo). You're crazy.

fresh turkey sam wit mayonnaise is ace++++ / turkey club

I would have to respectfully disagree, that sounds about as appetizing a 2 girls 1 cup burger

Xp to ENBB

3 parts mayo to one yellow burger mustard and one ketchup, plus paprika, cayenne, and crushed garlic, plus finely diced gherkins, is the burger relish of the gods.

Mayo with hot smoked paprika, sea salt, crushed garlic, sundried tomato paste, and Spanish sherry vinegar is an amazing, quick, cheat bravas for some potatas.

Hot chips dipped in mayo is amazing.

A big blob of mayo on the side of a bowl of chilli is amazing.

Bacon sandwich with rocket and mayo is amazing.

Aioli is always amazing.

Hated mayo as a kid but love I now. Have to whip it to a smooth consistency, though.

Why the fuck would you put mayo in chili

Why the fuck would you put mayo in chili

sour cream is for chili guys

I made some homemade mayo recently but it turned out too lemony to be a versatile sandwich condiment. Made a batch of tuna salad with it though and it was perfect, no surprise there.

xp gotta say, mayo in chili sounds horrifying.

You don't put it IN chilli, you have it on the side, as a condiment, because its fucking lush, dude. That creaminess, with the spiciness of a chilli, om nom nom. First did it cos we'd run out of sour cream. Never gone back.

"You know what is really great, is a bowl of chicken noodle soup with a dollop of mayo floating in the middle"

mayo in chili is gross

I made some homemade mayo recently but it turned out too lemony to be a versatile sandwich condim

^^ u made aioli w/ egg

i had chicken soup with avocado in it last night

hey chick-fil-a you should put avocado on that sandwich

I don't hate mayo, but I can't think of too many situations where I'd prefer it to mustard.

"Nothing is more satisfying than shaved ice over mayo, so refreshing"

Mayo with chilli is totally no like mayo in chicken noodle soup, dude. Have you ever tried it?

Once again, Americans are weird.

"Want to really elevate your strawberry shortcake? Replace the whipped cream with mayo; SO DECADENT"

Lets cover this bacon with maple syrup and put it on a pancake but FUCK NO NOT CHILLI WITH MAYO.

You don't put it IN chilli, you have it on the side, as a condiment,

How does this work, do you get a spoonful of chili and dunk it in the ramekin of mayo on the side so it coats the back of your spooon or what

itt the dude who puts mayo on his chili calls other ppl weird

How do you have guacamole with chilli?

Am literally astonished that you're astonished by this.

I don't hate mayo, but I can't think of too many situations where I'd prefer it to mustard.

Nothing wrong with both -- and if you're making a roast beef sandwich, add horseradish for the trifecta.

Sour cream is what goes in chili and that's not too far off from mayo. It's weird because I've never seen anyone do it but I'd give it a shot.

now let's not kid ourselves that the chili in question was actually chili either, who knows what's going on

i was about to say--no need to choose between mustard and mayo in many condiment situations

You mean Pommes Frites sauce?

http://www.tasteoffrancestore.com/wp-content/uploads/wpsc/product_images/BenedictaPommesFrites265g.jpghttp://www.leplatdujour.co.uk/images/products/132_lrg.jpghttp://bilder3.eazyauction.de/Dipworld/artikelbilder/845.jpg

Its pretty good on french fries.

turkey sandwich, for example

xp

I have never heard of mayo on chili until this thread.

If you get chilli in a pub in the uk you'll pretty much never see sour cream, but you'll get mayo. All the time.

I seriously want to know the mechanics of chili + mayo on the side as a condiment. Do you spoon up a wee dab of mayo and then go chili-diving?

Haha for a second I thought horseshoe was suggesting the "chili" was actually a turkey sandwich

WmC, yeah, pretty much. Get some chilli on your fork, get a touch of mayo, delicious.

wait you eat chili with a fork

sounds gross to me too

i do like mayo with fries

how about some mayo on your spaghetti mmmmmm

I'd also add that mayonnaise, which is essentially an oil emulsion using egg lecithin as the emulsifier, is one food in which the best vegan equivalent is almost indistinguishable. Pass right by the Spectrum Naturals and Nasoya - Follow Your Heart's Vegenaise is the best.

banana dipped in mayo

How the fuck else do you eat chilli? Trough it from a nosebag like a horse?

FYI the only reference I can find to putting mayo on chili is a Chowhound thread where someone says "I can't help putting mayonnaise on chili in spite of myself"; everything else is a recipe or reference to mayo with chili powder in it

i eat my chili with a spoon? although a feedbag doesn't sounds bad.

i can't imagine that mayo is better than sour cream with chili but i guess i'd try it?

http://assets.outdoorgearlab.com/photos/8/53/206795_10339_S.jpg

Mayo is like a more indulgent alternative to sour cream wit chilli.

do you squeeze the mayo on through a bag

New High-Viscosity Mayonnaise To Aid In American Swallowing

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/articles/article/480/onion_news1217_jpg_600x1000_q85.jpg

Selma, AL, eater Barb Hodges swallows a chicken drumstick with the aid of Hellmann's QX-1.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-36LeH1cMl1o/Tu5tPBAQe2I/AAAAAAAAFOM/TQqZfkqkNa4/s1600/kewpie3.jpg

That stuff intrigues me. I always look at it in the supermarket.

<3 kewpie

are all the blood vessels in girl's eyelids ruptured from the sludge coursing through them, or? xp

yes

This chili/chilli spelling variation and the fork thing makes me wonder if Sick M. is just eating a pile of roasted chili peppers. American chili is a stew, served in a bowl, eaten with a spoon, so mote it be, forever and ever, amen.

Mayo is from hell.

I respect others' desire to eat it, but please keep it away from me and my mouth.

i feel like this mayo hatred comes from it being dumped on everything in shit delis or whatever.

Mayo is great, it's the only thing that's correct for putting on a BLT with the possible exception of horseradish sauce. Mustard does not belong on a BLT. And it knows that.

I have managed to eat mayo on the handful of occasions when to reject the mayo-laden food would have been worse for me than eating the mayo. I'm not a savage.

I'm disgusted by mayo partly out of habit, partly because of its texture en masse, and also because I don't much care for "creamy" things -- soups, salad dressing, etc. Don't even like cream cheese.

cream cheese is pretty gross too

dairy beelzebub to eggy lucifer

sour cream - no thanks

mayo is from hell when i can taste it and i literally can't have it on my tongue without gagging. touching it isn't a good experience either (and having worked in a deli i've gotten a lot of it on my hands)

as an ingredient though it's great. i've been making a perfect spicy pasta salad with a mayo base, and i make egg salad all the time, and deviled eggs of course.

I think mayo is great, but the one terrible mayo memory (mayomory?) I have is one time when a friend of one of my flatmates walked in with two large naan breads and a small har of Hellmann's. He heated the naans in the microwave, and then proceeded to eat them by dipping them straight into the jar. The jar was empty once he'd finished. It was the most disgusting thing I ever saw that didn't involve involuntary release of bodily fluids/waste products.

Oh I would just like to add that Japanese mayo is the best mayo, all other mayos get behind

Spicy mayo on maki = yum

But what about the tangy zip of Miracle Whip?!

I love Miracle Whip

what even is miracle whip. plastic?

Miracle Whip is mayo with a bunch of random spices in it

i think thats cool whip thats plastic

If they made Marmite mayonnaise, that would be very useful.

japanese mayo on okonomiyaki, mmmm

Miracle Whip is terrible but I'll allow it for DJP why because Minnesota.

I thought that Miracle Whip was to Mayo as Margarine is to Butter. I really have no idea whats in it, but I like it way more thatn "real" mayo.

Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake

late to this party but putting mayo on chili is the most abominable thing I have ever heard of. sanctions against countries that allow this outrage imo

mayo is the devil's condiment, but i can tolerate a little -- just a little -- in tuna salad and egg salad. mayo-based macaroni salad and potato salad can gtfo tho.

miracle whip is fucking gross

how can you only have a little in egg salad without it just being eggs

agreed on macaroni and potato salad, that shit is just solid food slathered in mayo
xp

miracle whip is fucking gross

― clouds, Sunday, September 23, 2012 1:39 PM (30 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Mayonnaise is an essential ingredient in potato salad - omitting it would be like leaving out the chives.

actually there are many styles of potato salad and guess which ones actually taste good, if you said "the ones without mayonnaise" then you are a potato champion

^^^ otm!!
no mayo on my tato

"You know what's good? Pouring yourself your first cup of coffee in the morning and adding a dollop of mayo"

yeah miracle whip is up there with cool whip as far as gross things go

how you gonna make jello salad w/o cool whip

nb I will never eat a jello salad again in my life

cool whip is fantastic

http://delicious-cooks.com/data_images/recipes_01/fruit-salad-ambrosia-style/fruit-salad-ambrosia-style-06.jpg

even just reading about mayo in chilli shrunk my balls

omg i puked that after a tailgate once i think xpost

aero otm itt

also: i only hate three foods: mayo, overcooked green beans, and ranch dressing. but of the three, mayo is the only one that offends me.

― cherry (soda), Sunday, September 23, 2012 9:51 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm kinda w/e on green beans but basically this is my food MO. except that it's ranch that offends me, but that's because of a specific insult that involved a Very Bad Film that my friend found in a plastic bag on a beach in new york.

also wtf is "chilli"? i don't normally hate britishist spelling (go ahead, use a "u"), but this is nonsense---do you guys put an extra "t" in burrito? chili is a food, chilli is a veg, and chile is a country

i mean: http://i.imgur.com/yN4m8.png

x-post - jesus whatever that is, it looks revolting

cherry's picture is exactly what comes to mind when I consider the grossness of mayo

My dad makes vinegar based potato salad which is a++ but I still like the mayo kind every now and then which is pretty much like once a year if that

x-post - surely that's fruit in cool whip and not mayo though

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_RHZ80ROtQ6k/TGUp__TX2NI/AAAAAAAAEjY/ryiy9L-37pY/s400/1960+jackie121467

i should add that as a TITLE-HOLDING CHILI COOK-OFF CHAMPION i am appalled at this mayo-in-chili business and will be writing my congressman as soon as i stop throwing up

http://www.recordsale.de/cdpix/j/jimi_hendrix-voodoo_chile_(france).jpg

it's almost as if different countries spell different words differently

that spoon is levitating over the hot mayo and oranges because it is so repulsed

x-post - surely that's fruit in cool whip and not mayo though

If that picture was taken in MN, that could very well be mayo

that ad suggests that some savage ass motherfuckers are gettin ready to dip some innocent mandarin slices in a mayonnaise bowl

somebody stop these assholes

omigod there IS smoke.

brb gonna barf

Now I love it, but mayonnaise used to make me hurl actual post-chemo vomit when I was little; it was the axle-grease for all my mom's pasta/potato salads. Every week or two I get through a small jar because I make chilli mayonnaise (cherry bomb chilli, a few garlic cloves, sea salt, paprika, olive oil and brined peppercorns blitzed then added to about half a jar) which is great for breaded chicken, fish and scampi (Britisher scampi is breaded langoustines). I love plain mayo on most sandwiches/with pommes frites, and I make a really nice egg mayonnaise sandwich.

Mayo does not go in or with chilli (which is spelled with two Ls in UK English). Nor does it go in peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches, but that never stopped my dad.

FYI Miracle Whip is gross and my Minnesotan mother banned it from our kitchen, along with Cool Whip and Master Bread. So THERE, Phil D.

look anything you make with cool whip is 100x better if you buy some nice farm heavy cream and just whip it http://www.swag-inc.com/shop/media/catalog/product/cache/9/thumbnail/50x/5e06319eda06f020e43594a9c230972d/d/e/devo_hat_1.png

btw I do believe we've made small progress as a species when you consider the truly horrifying things we ate as snack/party foods in the seventies

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbcurio/7308722038/in/pool-97769629@N00/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbcurio/7308722038/in/pool-97769629@N00/

xp colour and honour are abstract concepts, do what you want; chili is ~our~ food (and by "our" i mean...mesoamerican??)

The first documented recipe for "chile con carne" is dated September 2, 1519. The ingredients were boiled tomatoes, salt, chiles and meat. Bernal Diaz del Castillo, one of Hernan Cortez's Captains and the source of the recipe, states in his book, that the Cholulan Indians, allied with the Aztecs, were so confident of victory in a battle against the Conquistadors the following day that they had "already prepared cauldrons of tomatoes, salt and chiles" in anticipation of a victory feast. The one missing ingredient, the meat, was to be furnished by the Conquistadors themselves: their own flesh.

this can't possibly be true, but i want it to be very badly for some reason.

anyway we're all wrong about the spelling, but i think aztecs and cholulans and cortes would all agree that mayo fucking blows and should stay the fuck away from my bean and dead spaniard stew

chile con cortez

w/ extra

http://www.cholula.com/images/products/original_productgroup.png

http://opalfruits.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/cheese-footballs1.jpg

the built up with their bare hands what we still can't slather in mayo today

xp (still made btw)

mmmm come to me chewdy goodness:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbcurio/6953572853/in/pool-97769629@N00/

x-post - surely that's fruit in cool whip and not mayo though
If that picture was taken in MN, that could very well be mayo

― cake-like Lady Gaga (DJP), Sunday, September 23, 2012 1:57 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You're kidding me. People put mayo on fruit?! Now that's just disgusting.

FYI Miracle Whip is gross and my Minnesotan mother banned it from our kitchen, along with Cool Whip and Master Bread. So THERE, Phil D.

Your mom very, very OTM.

man my joke was ruined by a lack of y on they

i guess anyone who was going to larf got it and the rest of you can swim upstream in the mayo rapids

I should poll these photos:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charmandpoise/5913153387/in/pool-97769629@N00/

xxp meanwhile my mom likes puts a dab of mayo into her guacamole. wasnt until i went to college that this not everyone--actually no one--did this.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/36878773@N07/7545175002/in/pool-789063@N20/lightbox/

chipotle cholula... now you're talking

About 501,000 results for "guacamole mayonnaise recipe".

It's not uncommon. My mom did it too.

http://www.jurgita.com/pictures/articles/1269785775455dd55538c49.jpg
Apply whole egg mayonnaise on your face (right from the jar) for about 20 minutes. Rinse with cool water.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/glenhsparky/7419139142/

http://www.walgreens.com/dbimagecache/63216911021_220x220_a.jpg

http://media-cache-lt0.pinterest.com/upload/146085581633076302_XeTIze0X_b.jpg

Okay, I'll stop.

you know there is a vegan mayo substitute called AMAZINNAISE. this maybe belongs in semantics c/d though.

I think one of the things that makes people adding mayonnaise to things so distressing is how shiny it is. like it glistens. other stuff is shiny, too, but it's usually a pristine, status shine, like mozzarella. it's not cheap weird coruscating congealy spiciness in a jar, like mayo.

Shininess in a jar, sorry. I'm not referring to chilli'd mayo.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2011/may/12/cook-perfect-chilli-con-carne

ok there are some problems on your island

vegenaise actually surprisingly good xp

alfred, your first ad – the 'makes ends meet in spite of it all' is untentional bathos for the ages

what in god's name, j.

In these islands, "chilli con carney" (which always makes me think of those ineffably cool, invariably grizzled men who operated the Waltzers of my youth) is traditionally served bursting out of microwaved baked potatoes, or in a neat pile atop a ring of basmati rice, like so much minced meat curry. Kidney beans and copious amounts of cayenne obligatory.

I'll just say it: there is nothing wrong with putting a little Marmite in chilli

Would never think of having mayo with it though, sorry SM

Odd to me, the maelstrom of passions stirred by mayonaise. I would have to poke the Search engine a while to be sure, but I believe ilx has already generated this exact same tempest once before. And don't even get us started on salting food before you've tasted it!

it is overblown! caused by provocateurs who do not represent the people

speaking of a maelstrom:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charmandpoise/6837093054/in/pool-789063@N20/

microwave flank steak, good god

Alfred if you've never seen these Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974 you should take a look through them: http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards/czarina.html

AGITATORS

this thread & the actual mayo thread are not enough mayo discussions. need to invade other threads with important mayonnaise arguments

― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, September 23, 2012 12:47 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is going to start some kind of war, but it's delicious.

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pork-recipes/green-chilli

omigod!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/glenhsparky/6963845673/in/pool-789063@N20/

Pork strawberries simon!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/glenhsparky/6805044938/in/pool-789063@N20/

aww j. don't make fun of felicity cloake

unless i skimmed over the bit where she goes 'and then add mayonnaise', then go ahead

hey it's your island, you do what you want, i'm just sayin, don't disseminate lies and confusion in the world at large

fwiw i have never been served chili, in a pub, with mayo

although if you're eating chili in a pub you've done something wrong already

i did once get served a portion of 'nachos' which consisted of:

a packet of blue flavour doritos,
microwaved with grated, strong cheddar,
with, on the side, that gloopy and unavoidable 'thai' sweet chilli sauce,
and, yes, mayonnaise

i'm still not sure whether i was being trolled

honestly the best part of those nachos is "blue flavour doritos"

hope you took a picture

speaking of pictures:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbcurio/6316974272/in/pool-789063@N20/

honestly if that savory pie filling is any good, that dish is probably delicious

</RaisedInMN>

all it needs is hot mayo

let's not go crazy

This flickr stream is incredible but it's also turned my stomach in ways I didn't expect.

Ugh, curses on Jamie Oliver for using green bell peppers in that recipe. Back when my wife and I did any entertaining at all, one of our go-to spreads was the 3-chili party: red with beef, "white" with chicken and green chilies (roasted Anaheim), and vegetarian with black beans. Plus cornbread and the usual go-withs. No mayo.

Which is hated worst: mayo or ketchup? (<-- I may have misquoted the exact thread title there, but you get the idea.)

One more:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/glenhsparky/5205839123/in/pool-760327@N22/

I will make the 'white' chicken chilli, that sounds amazing - plus I have a bunch of green poblanos just sitting here, WAITING to go in something like that (my market farmer grows/sells them so I take LOADS home; my next trick will be getting him to grow/stock padrones).

Mayo mixed with chilli sauce (especially the sweet Thai stuff) is an awesome thing.

holy shit Alfred

unholy shit more like

What these recipes have in common: hardboiled eggs used in the unlikeliest of combinations, goopy sauces, green peppers for color, and a reluctance to, like, leave tasty things alone.

Had this for dinner, with chickpea rice. No mayo.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/sep/23/baked-chicken-tomatoes-olives-recipe-nigel-slater

Suzy, I forgot to mention, though it's probably obvious -- great northerns or some other white bean in that "white" chili.

Don't you realize that chilli is a portmanteau of "chilled chili" and is a delicious frosty staple of British pub food

delicious frosted staples in British pub food

Mayo in chilli sounds pretty gross to me but UK has the US beat at mustard, relish and brown sauce so I trust them when it comes to these innovations

Off topic challop but there is no finer steak sauce than HP so you Americans should ease up on the old rivalries and take a moment to reflect

no

it's more of a bacon sandwich sauce

bacon sandwiches, sausages, BLTs, steaks

uk definitely has some game when it comes to slathering

Either way it is the finest steak sauce, second only to bechamel. "Hickory flavoured ketchup with prominently displayed cow horns on the label" is a distant third and "A-1" a.k.a. imitation HP is a fourth

I'm allergic to eggs; mayonnaise is a constant source of deep discontent whenever I dine out; in short, satanic.

A1!

i hate mayo

lol owen you have a lot to learn about sauces

sweetling you could teach me a lot about food but I think I'm better educated as to what sauces taste better on guiltily consumed pieces of meat

this is my favorite sentence of the day that doesn't involve Mark Sanchez bouncing a football off of Tim Tebow's head

furthermore aero if you're questioning the supremacy of the UK in the fields of mustard or relish you should think again, Keen's and Branston Pickle are top of the chain my friend

Although I would liken it to A-1 (in flavor not consistency as it's a lot thicker) I don't really think of HP as steak sauce at all. I don't think I've ever seen anyone use it on beef. Sausages and bacon sarnies sure but not actually on steak.

yeah hp is for breakfast mainly.fuck wasting a steak with it.

If a steak is well marinated it don't need no sauce.

imagine this: eskimo ice cream made with mayo

http://i.imgur.com/kGs0K.jpg

mayo rules, lock this thread

what

what the hell is that THING

my god

max otm

I make homemade Caesar dressing with mayo replacing the eggs and it is amazing, but its really the only thing I've ever used mayo for at home.

(that' not actually mayo in the picture I don't think: probably something tastier, like caribou oil)

according to wikipedia, the most common substitution of the animal fat is crisco ;_;

horrifying

come back mayo, almost all is forgiven

mayo can stay right where it stands, on the blasted fields of infamy

I feel like this is one of the more successful Sunday threads we've had

Was Mayonnaise really invented by an 18th century Irish General in the French army? Or is that transcribed or something? Think I heard a story to that effect.
Being named after the county he came from and things like that.

How long does a jar keep? Hoping I don't still have some Hellman's at the back of my fridge

see? This is what I hate about mayo:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charmandpoise/5194986030/in/pool-97769629@N00/

okay that is unforgivable

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charmandpoise/5250278164/in/pool-97769629@N00/

the celery bits in that first photo!

"A savory mustard mold" wtf ppl actually did this

this is what happens when your country's food culture used england's food culture as its base

I mean, this is why a generation of seniors is hooked on Lipitor.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charmandpoise/5164913881/in/pool-97769629@N00/

Bachelors were so bored with their food, they had nothing better to do than to make mayo & mustard sculptures for their cold cuts

xp: hahahahaha oh boy

Grown-up food like this is why I never ate anything but hot dogs and carrot sticks until I was like, 16.

guys, are you ready for this one:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charmandpoise/5063028735/in/pool-97769629@N00/

"What a beautiful new way to serve potato salad."

I feel like radishes have vanished from history.

"luscious glaze"

Alfred, if you're trying to shame me into a heart attack, I think it's working.

I WILL SHAME YOU WITH MY LUSCIOUS GLAZE

oh my god

the recipe for that glaze is pure HORRORSHOW

Was Mayonnaise really invented by an 18th century Irish General in the French army? Or is that transcribed or something? Think I heard a story to that effect. A condiment was named after him but what makes it susbstantially different than the other egg/oil emulsions in the general area isn't certain.

I don't eat a lot of mayonnaise and I tend to like it pretty mustatrdy. I probably only eat it on BLTs and artichokes. I use Greek yogurt for a lot of things I used to use mayo on and just avoid mayo in things like tuna fish, which I frankly prefer in olive oil w/lemon juice. Aiolis and the like are fun to make, though, and I always feel more comfortable that they're made and eaten w/in a day or two.

That glaze really is vile. Ugh.

"Pizza can be a yolk-eyed girl fluttering parsley eyelashes"

I mean seriously wtf wrote this copy

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charmandpoise/5042282015/in/pool-97769629@N00/

I feel like radishes have vanished from history.

I have been on the biggest radish kick for the last couple of years.

someone super, super high wrote that copy

they'd been mainline Literol

oh man:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charmandpoise/4554324525/in/pool-97769629@N00/

Salami-rolled French fries with a mustard, horseradish mayo dip!

tbf I would probably eat a salami, cheese wiz and french fry sandwich.

I have NEVER done anything as evil as turkey-french fry stew or whatever the hell that is.

Dismayed at the anti-mayo sentiment here. Don't tell me you people actually enjoy ketchup (a more tragic misuse of tomatoes there isn't)

Let's put french fries in chicken broth with peas, lima beans, and celery!

Dismayed at the anti-mayo sentiment here. Don't tell me you people actually enjoy ketchup (a more tragic misuse of tomatoes there isn't)

uh

I like mayo, I also dig aioli

best ever is pipiing hot french fries and garlic aioli

Whip out the snausages!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbcurio/3667835651/in/pool-97769629@N00/

I'm definitely not much of a ketchup fan.

No mayo
No ketchup

bleccch

shoutout to aimless upthread, let me plug this again

mayo vs. ketchup: which is hated more?

who sneezed on those Vienna sausages

I feel like radishes have vanished from history.

― taking tiger mountain (up the butt) (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, September 24, 2012 11:51 AM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I grew some awesome radishes in my garden this year. Often just sliced them up and ate them on some toast w/cream cheese.

This Flickr thread deserves its own.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbcurio/3382260895/in/pool-97769629@N00/

i like ketchup

I hate it when people mess around with the presentation of food. It was touched on in this other thread:
if it's possible for a condom to be thinner than normal and still be safe, why wouldn't all condoms be that thin?

it was a bad idea to come back to this thread with my lunch

did you get a thinner than normal lunch today

did you pour a can of clam chowder soup over scrambled eggs and a Xmas tree

radishes are pretty strange, they can be good though. they are a sideman. i ate this great weird stewed persian aubergine dish recently & it was topped with sliced radishes, they gave it this zingy contrast.

for a zingier contrast, why not sprinkle Vienna sausages and hardboiled eggs?

I got a gigantic psuedo-Asian soup

kind of wish I'd put some mayo in it in honor of this thread

This place makes a really good in-house ketchup. It's not all full of sugar or corn syrup like the commercial brands.

this place makes a really good tilt-a-whirl:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bootsartemis/3419731237/in/pool-789063@N20/

why would anyone do that to food

looks like something WAS done to it before it was turned into a dish

I had the wonders of radishes revealed to me a couple of years ago when I ordered a few interesting seed varieties instead of just planting the red globes and white icicles available locally.

xp -- man, anything was possible right after the war, wasn't it

Olive bread!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/charmandpoise/3966342390/in/pool-789063@N20/

oh come on now

served with an accompanying slice of head cheese

green beans, hard boiled eggs, and tuna with half and half!

is this why we're supposed to appreciate julia child

oh god that loaf is going to make me lose my breakfast

next time I drink coffee I won't pour half and half for fear it will stir up the hardboiled eggs and beans at the bottom of the cup.

pretty your lost breakfast was already incorporated into the loaf xp

I can't make it past

gelatin
tuna

without getting a little queasy.

We had some vegetables today. Weren't sure how to hold them together so we made a paste out of horse, fish, and eggs.

you didn't chew up one of the vegetables and then spread the resulting paste between two intact vegetables?

tbf I think they are just riffing off of headcheese

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_cheese

http://www.flickr.com/photos/glenhsparky/3946510587/in/pool-789063@N20/

anyone for lobster relish?

I was about to be all HELL YES and then I saw the picture

People were really big on gelatin in the 70's, weren't they.

there was a lot of colon hatred in the 70s

I'm so glad that I'm not on acid seeing these things.

I have to agree, mayo is disgusting. It's pretty good on a Burger King, though. Nayonaise is really good but I figured out how to make my own - silken tofu + turmeric and mustard, oil, vinegar.

a comment from lobster relish post:

Obviously the source of inspiration for H R Geiger who designed the Alien costume

frothy waves of mayonnaise

http://www.flickr.com/photos/glenhsparky/3819401307/in/pool-789063@N20/

I feel like I perhaps need to reconsider my position on mayo, based on these dishes

what the fuck was up with people?

that's lutefisk fyi

that poor cucumber salad, forced to share a frame with that horror

Ladies and gentlemen, American cuisine in the twentieth century.

warning HUEG

http://vintagerecipecards.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/seafood_mousse.jpg

Mayo is just like any other food: don't try and make it into a smiley face.

I don't think HUEG was the appropriate warning there

oh man I totally lucked out by being allergic to eggs (and being born in the 80s)

WRNING***GIANT SMILING SEA MONSTER***

probably would have been bettter

Completely disgusting foods our parents ate

also: warning HUEG LOLZ

thanks Alfred

My parents did not have the time to make all these weird "presentation" dishes. They made a limited number of main dishes, like pork chops, meatloaf, pot roast or chicken and rotated through them very frequently. But none of it was disgusting crap food. This was in the 1950s and 1960s.

this was the molecular gastronomy of its day, im sure. where the molecules were meant to invoke love canal.

And when it came to desserts, they never once set anything on fire at the table. 95% of the time it was a bowl of ice cream.

that poor ice cream

omg seafood mousse where have you been all my lolless life <3 <3 <3

you really need to get up on the annex thread: Completely disgusting foods our parents ate

there is amazingness that rivals the seafood mousse

follow that thread for smiling dolphin action :D

I will admit the Campbelled eggs recipe way upthread sounds like a good idea.

does proper from-scratch mayo taste different from kraft? i've tried making it a few times and it always comes out bitter and vinegary and mustardy

eggs belong in soups, just not campbells chicken soup

This is more soup belongs in eggs, though. I haven't had Campbell's chicken soup in decades, but I'm assuming it's probably better now than in the 70s. And even if not, it'll add a chickeny/salty base to the eggs, which is good. (More likely I would a better soup to do the same thing.)

does proper from-scratch mayo taste different from kraft? i've tried making it a few times and it always comes out bitter and vinegary and mustardy

― Philip Nunez, Monday, September 24, 2012 2:54 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes, proper made-from-scratch mayo is basically a completely different-tasting and much more enjoyable substance

I'm really bad at titration though so the only time I have made it successfully was when my partner was titrating for me.

titrating is hard by hand

you can do it alright in a food processor, if the model uses the type of feed tube that has the hole in the bottom (which is most of them these days)

what's the closest condiment proper mayo tastes like -- aioli?

yep

dammit i've been missing out on so much proper mayo...

Aioli is just garlic mayo

It's good w/saffron, though, if you dig that

aioli's traditionally garlic salt and olive oil, it's not egg based. But the consistency, emulsion wise, is pretty similar to mayo -- and half the aioli's out there are flavored mayo half the time anyway

it's v confusing

at least that's how I always understood it

that's allioli

Aioli usually has some egg but the thing you need for the emulsification is mustard usually. I emulsify the heck out of greek yogurt or olive oil in salad dressings all the time - it's that it sets better with egg yolk.

ah okay so it's really the garlic that this the thing with aioli

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

I was gonna chew someone out for making me think about mayo on a Friday night.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

surely this poll is defective, the results can't be right.

that's really too bad because mayo is quite an unusual condiment

mayo mandate, the people have spoken, outmoded mayo minority should just sit down and be quiet and let us get some real work done

^^^

65 people actually eat this disgusting slime

perhaps you are not familiar with the part of your antiquated holy book that preaches love instead of hate, i am surprised the message was not reinforced after years of post-worship fellowship brunch and congregation potlucks at which delicious mayonnaise dishes were no doubt served

I blame those potlucks for the gnawing emptiness in my soul

What do you put on a tomato sandwich if not the glorious calf slobber?

you lost me at "tomato sandwich"

your platform is no longer recognized itt, aero. this thread is now property of THE MAYO GANG

rev throws his sandwich in the air sometimes
saying "ayo, where's the mayo?"

― Domingo Halliburton (jaymc), Sunday, November 28, 2010 4:11 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yayo

mayo technology

mayon calendar

http://www.kaiserhealthnews.org/~/media/Images/KHN%20Features/2012/August/20%2024/Mayo%20Batman%20300.jpg

we're going to put on a mayo clinic for y'all

don't think of it as a reeducation, it's just a camp for you to become more integrated into society

Next poll: the foods in this delicious mayo-based dinner!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2JGTfPNAzc

whipped up some delicious homemade mayo today. Titrating is way easier doing it by hand than trying to use a food processor. It's a very satisfying experience.

http://qz.com/172019/ketchup-isnt-the-king-of-american-condiments-mayonnaise-is/

http://i.imgur.com/XP7miHb.png

diagram is like just the worst sandwich

A big blob of mayo on the side of a bowl of chilli is amazing.

sorry, just had to relive that

how on earth did I miss this thread

ban mayonnaise, it is the most revolting thing our species has created. I would rather eat the pus of a blister on an old man's foot.

wtf 65 of you

Euler, you have just handed The Authorities the skeleton key to your Winston-Smith-at-the-end-of-1984 worst imaginable torture. Do you think this was wise?

use mayonnaise sparingly

german-style potato salad is superior

still have no idea wtf "chilli" is if it involves mayo

I get served it by mistake often enough that I am already living a life of torture

(makes mental note: "waterboard Euler w/ mayo in place of water")

I love the spin-off thread.

Never forget: https://www.flickr.com/photos/charmandpoise/5063028735/in/pool-97769629@N00

fuck mayo forever. fuck any form of eggs+vinegar forever.

dudes

i made a burger, i put a little mayo on the bun

oh man

I can not control-f on my phone so may have mentioned this already but in Russia they sell 500ml packets of mayonnaise that you can not reseal - because why would you not eat 500ml of mayonnaise in one sitting?

Russia OTR

(on the ruble)

A big blob of mayo on the side of a bowl of chilli is amazing.

you people make me sick

Yeah, I love mayonnaise but that is horrifying. A blob of sour cream, on the other hand...

some friends had never heard of avocado slices on top of chili

I was selling a dining room table at a flea market this weekend and some shmuck set his sweating cup of water down on it, leaving two terrible rings. So I walked over to this guy who was selling furniture to see if he had any Old English or some comparable product. He didn't...but he told me "Just go to the food truck and get some mayonnaise."

IT WORKED!

It didn't get the rings out, but they had mayonnaise!

man it is so hard, now, in this present cultural moment, to choose a side in this argument, huh. just so hard. all the momentum with the anti-mayo side. an easy grudge, the high road. mayonnaise is like a dan brown novel. & then to rep hard for mayo somehow too much, too base. like to zealously enjoy mayo is to be an english man on the street, shaking a fist, gurning into a camera lens, like it's defensible only as a kind of gluttony, mayonnaise all down your chin because you just committed yourself to it, lapped it from a smashed jar on the street. & truly it is only mayonnaise. even if it is gross it is probably pretty satisfying, even if it is delicious it is something you could probably live without. it is fascinating, shiny & white & sold in jars. but to be partisan just feels kinda lose-lose. both parties in the argument walk through the door at the end of the day full of strong feelings, & then have to channel those into just having mayonnaise in the cupboard/not having mayonnaise in the cupboard.

you just put it on sandwiches dawg

this is gonna be a post vmic but:
i was at pottery over the weekend and there's this VERY VERY pregnant woman who will not shut the fuck up. i retreat to headphones but everytime i take them off i get an earful of a ton of really really loud really really pointless conversation and i hate listened to a ten minute diatribe about why she can't understand why some people can't tell the difference between mayonnaise and miracle whip. shit got crazy heated about this. it was fascinating and repellent at once. good luck kid.

Mayo is excellent on chicken burgers. Not meat ones so much though.

mayo is great on cheeseburgers

a fried egg is even better though

can't decide which is more disgusting savagery "chilli" or mayo in it

can't believe i missed this thread mayo is an abomination and aero is otm: not only can you make potato salad without it, there's no excuse not to

when i was in seattle for the emp conf i ordered a breakfast sandwich and the cafe put MAYO on it. who puts mayo on a breakfast sandwich? get that fucking vileness away from me.

isn't this the same city that p much didn't see anything jewy about macklemore's shylock getup #notsayinjustsayin

an egg sandwich w tomato, basil mayo, and sprouts is pretty good

gotta get crumpets in Seattle anyway

isn't this the same city that p much didn't see anything jewy about macklemore's shylock getup #notsayinjustsayin

there are no jews in seattle, and since jews' distaste for mayo is well-known, it stands to reason that seattleites would just slather mayo on everything willy-nilly.

it is fascinating, shiny & white & sold in jars.

japanese mayo is sold in flexible plastic babies

https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3118/2800854616_7ce2baf78a.jpg

If mayo is the devil's condiment, then what would god's one be?

mustard

Guldens

Salad cream

salsa golf

salsa golf
1 cup store-bought or homemade mayonnaise
6 tbs ketchup, adjust to taste
1 tbs lemon juice
Other optional ingredients you can add: cumin, hot sauce, a dash of fresh cream, a dash of whisky or vodka

If mayo is the devil's condiment, then what would god's one be?

― StanM, Wednesday, June 11, 2014 8:54 AM (16 minutes ago)

horseradish

arby's sauce

http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000099234/polls_mild_sauce_3447_411079_answer_2_xlarge.jpeg

horseradish

― no matter how crabby of a mood I’m in because of the New World Order (WilliamC), Wednesday, June 11, 2014 10:12 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ding!

I love mayo, and I've been mixing it with pureed wild garlic for maximum chicken sandwich funtimes.

honestly every single mayo-positive post in this thread turns into A big blob of mayo on the side of a bowl of chilli is amazing before my eyes

Not all mayo

If mayo is the devil's condiment, then what would god's one be?

Took this photo literally 5 minutes ago. God sauce

http://i975.photobucket.com/albums/ae232/daggerlee/7135152D-C20E-4088-91DA-4F7E40084486_zps0vszlih6.jpg

I saw some of that in the grocery store yesterday! Thought of you guys. Halfway thought about buying it, but then like, mayo, so nope.

I don't know what kind of cretin blobs mayo to the side of their chilli con carne but based on use of UK spelling in the offending quote, I'm guessing BRITISHER. Chilli mayo (Thai sweet chilli sauce and a squeeze of sriricha mixed with mayo) is pretty awesome with deep-fried seafood eg. scampi.

XP XD XD XD XD

But re: mayo, what the hell else do you suggest to stick the lettuce to the top bun of your burger/sandwich?

The lettuce stays there just fine on its own.

no, no, sandwiches need sandwich glue

sandwiches also need to not be too dry. If you're not using mayo you need to at least use mustard or something and mustard + lettuce just doesn't work that well.

I hock a loogie into my sandwiches

that's what I call mayo too!

You can't beat a good old Glen Matlock, that is a sarnie that won't fall apart.

never forget the "chilli" mentioned also was apparently not eaten with a spoon

which, I mean, I am cool with eating a good chili con carne with tortilla chips or w/e but chili is by its definition supposed to be stew-ish, soupy thing. even if really thick you can still eat it with a spoon.

I'd suggest tzatziki for those who don't like mayo, especially with lamb/chicken/halloumi.

Ah yes, I made a big batch of that yesterday. We're getting 5-6 cucumbers a day from the garden right now.

I keep going back upthread and reading that entire exchange, so many lols

Lets cover this bacon with maple syrup and put it on a pancake but FUCK NO NOT CHILLI WITH MAYO. <-- endless joy

that entire sentence really misunderstands the north american breakfast tradition

"chilli" still killing me tbh

iirc "chilli" was a member of TLC and not a food, maybe the britishes are just really confused

I mean even my phone is like wtf r u saying lemme autocorrect that 4 u

blood sausage chilli

mate

we should raise the spelling game and start talking about puddding

Chilli Black Pudding

a great source of iron

Finest Quality Chilli Black Pudding (£5.45 kg / £2.47 lb)
Delicious and simple to cook – simply slice then fry or grill for 6 – 8 mins
Minimum of 3 week shelf life once delivered
Suitable for home freezing
No artificial ingredients – great source of iron
UK DELIVERY ONLY

http://www.buryblackpuddings.co.uk/catalogue.php?cat=7

UK DELIVERY ONLY

puddding: how can you have it if you don't eat your meatt?

I'd eat that

Boxty Pancakes with Black/Chilli Pudding, Bacon and Mustard Cream

Ingredients:
4 medium floury potatoes (about 650g/1lb7oz), peeled
100g/4oz plain flour
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
salt
284ml/9½fl oz carton buttermilk
large knob of butter, for frying
bacon
black/chilli pudding
142ml/4¾fl oz tub double cream
1 tbsp grainy mustard
2 tsp lemon juice

Method:
Boil the potatoes for 15-20 minutes, then mash half of them. Grate the rest and put in a colander lined with kitchen paper. Put kitchen paper on top and press to squeeze out as much liquid and starch as possible. Mix the grated potato with the mash, then sift in the flour, bicarbonate of soda and plenty of salt.
Stir in buttermilk to make a soft batter. Heat the butter on a griddle or heavy-based frying pan. Drop in spoonfuls of the batter, large or small, and cook for 2 minutes until golden underneath. Flip and cook for 2 minutes more.
Fry the bacon rashers until crisp. Push to one side of the pan and fry slices of black pudding for 2-3 minutes on each side. In a pan, heat the tub of double cream, grainy mustard, lemon juice and season.
Serve 2-3 boxty pancakes per person topped with bacon, black/chilli pudding and drizzle with mustard cream

that sounds awesome

yeah I just thought the combo of creamy, bacon and blood chillllllllli sausage was funny

also lol @ "large knob of butter" if I understand britishes slang well

mayo has always been gross to me but i find vegan mayo to be really good

i meet a fair number of people who feel the same way, even if they are not vegan. i'm not vegan but i happily use some vegan mayo on my sandwiches

soy milky oil

I think mayo is fine but rly mayo in jars and homemade mayo/aioli/other colloids of egg and oil are just qualitatively different products, the latter being a truly sublime food perfect for dipping french fries into.

basically I already posted that sentiment upthread so

soy milky oil

― Sufjan Grafton

Hola, milky oil!

hola, nickn. me llaman 'milky oil' porque mi aceite es lechosa.

tienes chicle en la boca, nickn? a la basura, por favor.

Porque? Me gusta el chicle!

“Who could resist a black pudding, king prawn and chilli pizza?”

the question that had to be asked

(n.b. my thread derails are intended as an act of resistance against the white power that 65 of you represent)

Don't know if it got mentioned up-thread, but obv. the exclusion of Miracle Whip in the poll is a travesty.

true. mayo tastes pretty damn good on a miracle whip sandwich.

But re: mayo, what the hell else do you suggest to stick the lettuce to the top bun of your burger/sandwich?

― show me new tweets (suzy), Wednesday, June 11, 2014 11:04 AM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

4 days and i'm still having trouble with this sentence

there are literally a hundred billion condiments you can put on a burger/sandwich that don't taste like someone pooped it out their butt

where the fuck am i waht planet is this why

why do you need lettuce on your sandwich anyway? go eat a salad if you want roughage.

a burger with mayo, some crisp lettuce, and a fresh tomato is the best

blta with mayo as well

IT IS THE DEVIL

mayo is devilishly refreshing

Mayo instead of butter really crisps nicely for grilled cheese sandwiches. Suck it, nerds!

Nice. it is a condiment with great power. I am open to regulating its purchase and use.

otm, ban mayo

yeah don't put mayo on your money for example

GOT MY MIND ON MY MAYO AND MY MAYO ON MY MONEY!

fwiw i also put my mayo on my yayo, so i guess in conclusion one might say mayo is how i roll

mayo is how i roll

connecticut lobster rolls >>>>> maine lobster rolls

you put mayonnaise on your cocaine? that just seems decadent.

"sex, mayo-cut drugs and rock'n'roll" doesn't quite roll off the tongue, does it? but in fact to be properly decadent you're gonna want to add some mayo to pretty much all your drugs. works for me at least.

They fight
and fight
and fight and fight and fight!
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Slaov-G2H20/maxresdefault.jpg

I never knew mayo until I tried Japanese mayo.

Damn that stuff is delicious. It actually has a discernible flavour, unlike that horrible North American stuff.

this just in: mayo is still, on balance, terrible

also never forget: A big blob of mayo on the side of a bowl of chilli is amazing.

*retches furiously*

Mayo is good, mayo is the apex of French fry condiments, mayo is my favorite emulsion

that may have been the most contentious thing ever said on ilx

Oh man, I never posted on here about the place in DC that serves gyros with mayonnaise instead of tzatziki? THAT was an unpleasant surprise.

uggghhhh, I like mayo, but that's unforgivable.

Levantine gyros/kebab places will give you garlic sauce which is basically aioli, maybe it was that? I blame French colonial presence.

freshly made mayonnaise is amazing

aioli is so so good

It's so awful having to eat Hellman's when I'm in America. It looks choppy compared to Euromayo.

My favourite aioli pretty much hums with garlic. Protip: add any kind of pesto to good mayonnaise and then use to make a chicken sandwich.

Levantine gyros/kebab places will give you garlic sauce which is basically aioli, maybe it was that? I blame French colonial presence.

― voodoo rage (suzy), Tuesday, October 6, 2015 1:52 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ok, I just went and checked out the restaurant's webpage and learned it was founded by Afghan immigrants whose white sauce also relies heavily on the mayo. Still not what I expect from a gyro though.

The ILX War on Mayo, much like the War on Drugs or the War on Terror, appears to me to be both endless and unwinnable.

THIS MANY POSTS WITH NO MENTION OF DUKE'S ???????

I was mayoambivalent until I tried Duke's and now I put that shit on way too much stuff

Yeah, I thought I was brand-loyal to Best/Hellmann's to the death but Duke's is great.

had some hoison mayo for lunch. it was good. mayo is good.

it was also called hoisin mayo

Mayo on a poultry sandwich is good.

Mayo-based "salads" are horrifying unless they are tuna salad or the salad has a shit-ton of curry powder in it

Mayo-based potato salad is like eating Rainbow Brite's stale vomit

Mayo on a hamburger is like eating a cow sneeze

― cake-like Lady Gaga (DJP), Sunday, September 23, 2012 3:32 PM (3 years ago)

this post is like a miniature guide to life

ban mayo
ban guns
ban strollers/prams/poussettes/whatever you call them
ban smoking
ban cars

in that order
vote for Euler

If you get chilli in a pub in the uk you'll pretty much never see sour cream, but you'll get mayo. All the time.

― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Sunday, September 23, 2012 4:54 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm amazed that the British people itt let this slide, this is completely untrue

mayonnaise with chili is a) horrible and b) not something I have ever encountered at a British establishment, because it is horrible and would be met with horror by all

you can't redeem your countrymen, wins, it's too late. we already have been clued into your chili/mayo-loving ways.

in retrospect, getting haha "chilli" in a pub in the uk seems like anyone's first mistake

when this conversation first occurred, I asked about it on Facebook; the British response followed the general pattern of "ugh gross, no we don't do that" followed quickly by "WHO TOLD YOU WE DO THIS????"

~reliable sources~ man

pretty sure they're lying as they drape a napkin over their eyes and take a spoonful of mayo-laced chilli

in retrospect, getting haha "chilli" in a pub in the uk seems like anyone's first mistake

Pretty much otm, but you see it a lot. Always, always with sour cream and not mayo, tho. And there is a superfluous l but that isn't actually notable

sorry to report there's indisputable evidence online of uk proclivity for mayo accompaniment to e.g.
fried calamari, tempura
why :(

That I can confirm

British people are dreadful, I'm certainly not denying that

ctrl-f elote.

???

and it's delicious

mayo aioli is a common accompaniment to calamari here in these US

iirc not in my experience (luckily)
ofc usians are awful too

excuse me but there are several ways to enjoy an elote. one involves a hot sauce, like Valentina or Tamazula, and lemon -- slater the elote in sauce, squeeze lemon, terrific. another involves simple pico de gallo: less spectacular than hot-sauce-and-lemon, but still nice.

it's true there is that third way where you put mayonnaise on it and then throw it into the garbage, but I've never understood the appeal of this option except as a gesture that doesn't really satisfy.

lol

I'm into the third way if you do it in front of a mayo person in the hope that they'll learn

fourth option is you call the mayo "aioli" and charge $1 more

pretty sure they're lying as they drape a napkin over their eyes and take a spoonful of mayo-laced chilli
― μpright mammal (mh)

I'm gonna do a mayo-chili dinner party; I will report back how many punches to the face I receive

I'm goin' to a party
And I hope you are hearty
So please don't be naughty
For it's a mayo-chili party

i really can't believe so many people actually enjoy eating eggs mixed with vinegar.

i don't know if it's because of the industry wide egg shortage, but i am finding more mayo-y products (like salad dressings) without eggs.

lately

tempura

aaaaaaaaaa

calling mayo the "devil's condiment" implies a certain edge that mayo decidedly lacks. it's a bland condiment for people who don't like to eat

And there is a superfluous l but that isn't actually notable

― fappy board (wins), Wednesday, October 7, 2015

no no gbx is otm upthread. the superfluous l is critical to the entire tin-palated transatlantic chile project.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNwK7mhDC_w

calling mayo the "devil's condiment" implies a certain edge that mayo decidedly lacks. it's a bland condiment for people who don't like to eat

― k3vin k., Wednesday, October 7, 2015 5:18 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is blowing my mind because while i vaguely know what people mean when they say mayo is bland, it tastes really really pungenet to me.

pungeant

it's a bland condiment for people who don't like to eat

This may be an opinion, but it has no evidence to support it. For example, I don't eat mayo more than about once a month, but I certainly do eat it, I enjoy it when I eat it, and I am someone who likes to eat, including spicy foods and sharply flavored foods.

I just stuff my face with chilli toppoed with great wobbly dollops of mayo all day, every day, morning, noon, and night. Chilli mayo dollop breakfast; chilli mayo dollop lunch; chilli mayo dollop dinner; chilli mayo dollop brunch.

Seriously, I find the extreme antipathy towards mayo from Americans quite amusing, and also confusing. Is this one of those occasions when a foodstuff is radically different in the US and the UK?

Hellman's is by far the most prevalent brand, and it's gross and choppy compared to what we eat in the UK. I get through a lot of Waitrose Essential mayo, and even that is miles better than Hellman's (and cheaper).

Damn right on the Waitrose call.

Scik burn

Is this one of those occasions when a foodstuff is radically different in the US and the UK?

you ppl put butter on your sandwiches, you have no room to talk

wtf?!

^^^In sandwich bars, there's usually some fool behind the counter asking if you want 'butter' on your slices (it's always margarine).

sorry sorry, i was wrong to extrapolate it to the whole uk. when i was in england years ago, my grandmother made me a sandwich. i was very confused as to why it was so greasy until i realized it had been spread w/butter. just figured it was a UK thing and not a weird old lady thing. weird old lady things are global.

wait, people are against butter in sandwiches now? how can you enjoy anything?

hoo boy

i should specify that it was NOT a grilled sandwich

they do something called a "butter burger" in wisconsin. no idea.

I've had burgers with butter cooked into them, sure.

I'll spread some butter on a cheese sandwich, but it's usually a sign that I'm depressed.

butter on bread is always going to be good, whether the context is toast, a sandwich, a hamburger, etc.

FFS how else do you anchor bologna on the bread and then use the equal and opposing force of French's mustard on the other slice?

Many of us were not allowed mayo in a packed lunch scenario because of its limited freshness window (or in my case, because it was a fatty thing made with egg yolk that made me want to yak if given it during the Chemo Years).

suzy, I feel like the concept of adhesive features way too strongly in your platonic ideal of a sandwich

FFS how else do you anchor bologna on the bread and then use the equal and opposing force of French's mustard on the other slice?

― voodoo rage (suzy), Thursday, October 8, 2015 8:16 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this.

i've lived in north america most of my life, in an admittedly international family, but we've always done it this way.

also it prevents the bread from drying out so much

xp: like, I am concerned that you are a step away from declaring "what do you mean, you don't put Gorilla Glue on your sandwiches????"

it adheres quite well, lip-smacking good

LOOOOOL Dan, nobody likes to wind up wearing components of the sandwich (or dealing with over-dry bread).

IN OTHER NEWS are we all aware that 'mayo' is what UK teens and young adults of colour call the clueless white ppl of their acquaintance?

oh dear

jambon beurre ftw

wtf do you use butter for?!

If not on bread?!

There are uses for butter beyond "putting it on bread", see for example baking and sauteing.

Butter on bread is obviously a net good but if that's your only use case...

Maria Schneider to thread

pretty sure 2/3 of french cooking is "put wine and butter in a cooking vessel, emulsify a little, add other stuff"

put me in the "I know & understand that some people butter their sandwiches but it has always struck me as weird and unpleasant and please hold the butter on mine" camp

like when you buy a cheese sandwich from the roadside gas station in England and you see they have put butter on it you think 'that'd be cool if I were going to grill this sandwich, but seeing as this is a roadside station, there is no earthly reason for this sandwich to have butter on it'

how else is the cheese going to stick to the bread

There is no butter on service station sandwiches. It is margarine.

It's never really occurred to me to treat a sandwich like a discrete, inviolable unit of food. Sometimes they come apart, and that's okay! Sometimes all the cheese and toppings come off your pizza but it's not like I'm looking for an adhesive sauce to really nail those toppings and cheese to the crust. Sometimes a taco falls apart, I don't need to drown it in sour cream* to make the shell bits stick together. This seems like a minor problem at best in the food spectrum, certainly not one that justifies putting mayo on a burger

* not mayo, you sick bastards

Thread inspired a tomato sandwich for tonight's dinner.

On a literary note, George Orwell in The Road to Wigan Pier speaks of poor families whose diet consists mainly of "bread-and-marg". He was an accurate observer and careful writer, and so didn't call it "bread and butter".

Sometimes a taco falls apart, I don't need to drown it in sour cream* to make the shell bits stick together.

I suspect if we stick around long enough here we will learn some hard hard truths about London tacos

djp otm, especially with regard to this abomination
http://conversation.which.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/mayo-and-chips-zoom.jpg

there are two jars of mayonnaise on the table. just in case

idk if my conception of how to do tacos right necessarily involves the phrase "shell bits" but happy to be schooled by america here

put some mustard on that mayo, and i'm set. so good

xxp

wtf do you use butter for?!

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, October 8, 2015 1:21 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If not on bread?!

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, October 8, 2015 1:21 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

SANDWICH != BREAD

y know this sandwich just isn't creamy or greasy enough

Mayo and ketchup sandwich

mayo + burger + egg thats a dang fine burger

Question for anti-mayo partisans: what do you think "special sauce" is?

Goat semen

what do i think it is?

it sucks too if that's what you're getting at

Man U ain't fit 2 buttchug a big mac

Wait, people put butter in their sandwiches? This thread took a weird turn.

Are we talking like a turkey sandwich with some lettuce and tomato and then a bunch of butter?

Or maybe like tuna salad with pickles and some hard boiled egg and a bunch of butter?

Good lord, what is this world coming to?

Are we talking like a turkey sandwich with some lettuce and tomato and then a bunch of butter?

this is what i had. it wasn't THAT bad, really, i was mostly just taken aback

Question for anti-mayo partisans: what do you think "special sauce" is?

― pizza rolls are a food that exists (silby), Thursday, October 8, 2015 10:08 PM (15 minutes ago)

mayo partisan uses mcdonalds as an example of why mayo is great. mayo haters rest their case

mayo haters rest their case

But...but...if they win their case, will mayo...just... disappear?!

My mother used to make PB&J sandwiches by buttering (OK, margerining) the bread first. I had totally forgotten about that until adulthood, and when I remembered it struck me as really weird.

brimstead and kevin wildly otm, if you think mayo haters are running around asking for the special sauce you are blinkered. special sauce is an attempt to sneak mayo past people who walk the righteous path and we are having none of it

My best friend ate a butter and mousies sandwich almost every day in high school

"A bunch" of butter? I'm not talking about an inch thick slice you disgusting savages. Just a thin spreading. Because, you know, protein, carbs, and fat together is a delicious and time-honoured combination. Unless, like mayo seems to be, butter is some fucked-up thing in the states that's unrecognisable to us in the UK.

I've seen ads for deep-fried butter sticks. I know the U.S. is disgusting.

Also only the most depraved of disgusting savages touches margarine, which is literally plastic and does not go off.

you don't know anything about us

You can't go on
Thinkin...nothings wrong
Who's gonna spread yr marg
Tonite

When I thought life had some meaning
Then I thought I had some choice
(I was running blind)
And I made some value judgments
In a self-important voice
(I was outa line)
But then absurdity came over me
And I longed to lose control
(into no mind)
Oh all I ever wanted
Was just to eat chili mayo

I was on the "butter on a sandwich wtf" thing until I moved to France and had a few exemplars, and salami + cornichons on a buttered baguette is a fav now.

I went to an alsacian sandwich shop last week and all their premade sandwiches had the devil's condiment (fun fact: "mayonnaise" in French means "the devil's condiment") but they were willing to go back to the kitchen and make me a chicken sandwich without it, and it wasn't that great after waiting 10 mins (wtf). I think they were trying to pressure me into taking the devil's hand.

get behind me 'satian

Olive oil, used in the preparation of many meals, was the principal source of fat. It also served in religious rituals and was applied to the body after exercise. The importance of olives to Attica is indicated by the fact that the goddess Athena caused an olive tree to spring up miraculously on the Acropolis when she was competing with Poseidon for the guardianship of the land. The use of butter was regarded as a mark of the barbarian.

Olive oil's pretty shit on sandwiches though.

It's a baguette, with Brie and butter

My best friend ate a butter and mousies sandwich almost every day in high school

Is "mousies" American for the Dutch muisjes and if so is the word (or indeed the condiment) common over there?

http://www.deondernemer.nl/UserFiles/image/2013/201311/20131106/beschuitmetmuisjes.kantenklaar.ondernemen.innovatie.425.jpg

I ask bcz I have wondered what the English for this is in the past.

Also only the most depraved of disgusting savages touches margarine, which is literally plastic and does not go off.

If it does not go off why does Flora have a use-by of about six weeks after you buy it? I do not buy it myself because I mainly use butter in cooking and I'm never sure whether margarine is safe to heat, but the ex used to buy it, use it approx once, throw the 99% full tub out six weeks later, repeat.

I spent several years of my childhood in Utah. Not, like SLC Utah, but Small Town Utah.

It was pretty great to be a kid Small Town Utah because there are a LOT of other kids to play with when your neighbors all had 6+ kids. And no one can helicopter parent that many kids, so we all got to run around with tons of freedom and unstructured free time blah blah blah.

In Small Town Utah, lunch will be fed to you by whoever's mom happened to be closest at lunchtime. Like, if you're playing in Sally and Stacia and Sara an Stephen and Stephanie and Sam's backyard, then their mom Sister Rhonda would dole out the sandwiches.

In Small Town Utah, PB&J was the sandwich of choice in such cases.

In Small Town Utah, you will find FUCKING BUTTER on your PB&J.

As you should.

How long can they butter our sandwiches
While we stand aside and look

peanut butter already has BUTTER in the name
don't add more BUTTER to what is already BUTTER

I mean I can understand the butter argument for certain varieties of meat or curry salad sandwiches; I've had that before (in England obv) and it was delicious, if somewhat obvious in its butteriness. However no one needs to add butter to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; at that point you might as well just start throwing random things in a blender and shoveling the resulting paste into your mouth with a big-ass ladle

I'd also like to point out that the English sandwiches I had had clearly been served to us directly from the refrigerator, causing them to separate into distinct, discrete, slippery slabs with a patina of butter on them so I would advise y'all to serve them at room temperature if structural integrity is really a reason why you are putting butter on them

I definitely remember making myself peanut butter and butter sandwiches as a kid. As a kid, whenever I ate bread it was always bread + butter + something else (jam, peanut butter, honey, nutella, etc.)

Is "mousies" American for the Dutch muisjes and if so is the word (or indeed the condiment) common over there?

What I've seen or heard of "mousies" comes from this one Dutch-Scottish American family. They were referring to chocolate muisjes, yes, and this was his lunch:
http://www.deruijter.nl/media/5506/hagel_puur.png

so you guys put butter and sprinkles on white bread and call that a meal huh

yo they are not sprinkles they are "mousies"

actually that picture is indeed sprinkles, not muisjes. it's also possible that he called them "muisjes" and I just heard "mousies". I need to ask him. my history is but one account of the past, etc.

Bread, butter, and hagelslag is pretty delicious.

it is basically a more sophisticated chocolate croissant

butter on a peanut butter and jelly. people co-signing butter on a peanut butter and jelly. truly these are the last days, let the world be consumed by fire I welcome its end

I mean, I went through a phase as a child where I ate peanut butter and mustard sandwiches because my brother served me one in retaliation for pestering him into making me a sandwich and I enjoyed it out of spite but I'm not actually seeking that flavor profile out as a rational adult

i just pour the jelly right into my mouth

^^^ acceptable

Olive oil's pretty shit on sandwiches though.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, October 9, 2015 2:26 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what is wrong with you

Yeah, classic muffaletta.

http://www.dishmaps.com/thumbs/muffaletta-sandwich-serious-eats_380.jpg

Question for anti-mayo partisans: what do you think "special sauce" is?

I'm so glad people covered this while I was away from this thread.

do we put butter and jam onto our toast, or just one or the other? a friend wonders -- he expresses sympathy for the idea of butter on a pb&j on these grounds. we have ejected him from the van and wish him well on his journey home

I'd never advocate butter on every sandwich. And anyone eating a chilled sandwich of any is a disgusting savage.

i would normally look askance at a buttered sandwich of any ordinary variety but i must admit that on the basis of discussions in these precincts i experimented with butter-and-peanut-butter on bread rather than just peanut butter, in the past year during periods of significant poverty when it seemed like it might be a good way to bolster an inadequate meal.

our british friends are still semi-incomprehensible when they eat toast sandwiches, but butter does sometimes seem like an effective ingredient in bread-based food.

on that note, it appears that all these years kraft has been gouging us for what was once a cost-cutting innovation

What makes it different: While it contains mayo's key ingredients (egg, soybean oil, vinegar, water), Miracle Whip sets itself apart with a sweet, spicy flavor that some folks prefer. First introduced during the Depression, when its cheaper price made it alluring to people who couldn't afford more highfalutin mayo, it's now caught up, costing about the same amount per ounce as the real thing. At any price, Miracle Whip still has legions of devotees: According to Kraft, it's currently among the grocery industry's 20 top-selling brands.

Yeah I have to go to Britain in a few weeks (shudder) and I'm looking to having like butter and fries sandwiches, hold the devil please

maybe they can curry that up for you

i'm guilty of eating cold foods, some of which may have included chilled sandwiches, pizzas, burgers, and soups. i blame it on university.

olive oil on bread is really good, as well. it depends on the olive oil, though.

xxxxp

Yeah I have to go to Britain in a few weeks (shudder) and I'm looking to having like butter and fries sandwiches, hold the devil please

― droit au butt (Euler), Friday, October 9, 2015 7:42 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

who didn't eat a chip butty as a child

In the USA there are deviled eggs, a revealing name

here they are just œufs mayonnaise & I had with a group last week where like 50% of the people ordered this savagery. those people should be sent to The Hague

When I brought my mom some proper Spanish pimenton, her devilled egg game raised itself to become the envy of the other Minnesotans.

I toast a lot of the bread for my sandwiches, but that's because a) I keep this bread in the fridge so it doesn't spoil or get found by passing mice and b) I mostly eat these sandwiches:

BLT
warm chorizo, tomato and rocket (protip: scrape a clove of garlic across the toasted inside surface of your slices)
chicken and pesto with lettuce and mayo

I do not toast the bread for these sandwiches:

Ham and mustard
Parma ham/mozzarella, basil, tomato, red onion (here the bread is focaccia/ciabatta or a Portuguese roll, warmed up a bit)
Cheese and pickle (Americans: pickle is not PICKLES).

BRB just going for a chorizo/tomato/rocket on seeded sourdough toast.

(Americans: pickle is not PICKLES)

this is a koan

It is what it is

and parma ham is not parmesan cheese ham

AMERICANS

Olive oil with bread IS great especially with balsamic vinegar. But on a sandwich instead of butter? No.

Bread goes off quicker in the fridge. Science confirms this. You need A BREAD BIN. Made of melamine.

can we go back to "mousies"
how do they differ from sprinkles

incidentally, i don't care for cow's milk butter (or any other mammal, wiseass) and actively avoid most foods cooked or baked with excessive butter (exceptions for croissants). We're a coconut/olive oil house.

yeah well you have your lifestyle and whatever

it's not a health thing or a conscious choice, i just don't much care for the taste or texture of butter and it doesn't agree with me in excess.

i just don't much care for the taste or texture of butter