Star Trek: Into Darkness

Fuck it, new thread. Prompted by The Trek Darkness Rises:

http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2012/12/03/03_star-wars.o.jpg/a_560x0.jpg

Dantestraw
Boy, they must have really liked the logo-shaped hole motif from the Dark Knight Rises posters, huh?

are they bringing the borg in already? at least they could wait till they reboot TNG

i'm sorry but that poster is not very "star trek" imo

yeah I don't like TDKR v2

grim desolation not really ST's forte imo

It's representative of the wasteland left behind after Tyler Perry strides through the landscape.

The only way this could work if it was like 'Sisko Begins'.

snoball otm

Almost lifelike:

http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/star-trek-2-imax.jpg

First nine minutes due to run on IMAX showings of The Hobbit:

http://insidemovies.ew.com/2012/11/14/star-trek-into-darkness-imax-preview/

The only way this could work if it was like 'Sisko Begins'.

― Paul McCartney, the Gary Barlow of The Beatles (snoball), Monday, 3 December 2012 18:36 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://s3.amazonaws.com/sites.wpengine/scelebs/wp-content/old_pictures/wenn2702469.jpg

oh i hate you for that

"Set phasers to thong-th-thong-thong-thong!"

am i the only one who thinks 'star trek into darkness' is the funniest title ever

clunkiest, maybe?

Star Trek Into Dark Chocolate With Nougat.

yeah it sounds like a Stephen King series or something

Star Trek Into Darkness coming to SyFy this fall starring Kevin Sorbo and Shannen Doherty

someone create a dance called the Star Trek and we'll have the foundation for a stunning viral video

xp: why would you do that to poor Kevin Sorbo ;_;

hee hee

Star Trek InTO CHAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNZZZZZZZZ

what would be the star trek versions of midichlorians and jar jar binks?

something Vulcan-related and Tribbles

star trek versions of (...) jar jar binks
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8c/Neelix.jpg

who was it who said they wanted the bad guy in the Trek sequel to be an evil Tribble

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRYNYb30nxU

Star Trek...Into...D...a...r...k...n.......e........s........s..........s

using trek that way just makes me think of Star Trekkin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCARADb9asE

Hi I'm Star Trek. I'm really into darkness. It's my favorite thing.

Star Trek III: Turning The Lights On

first image result for goth star trek
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhq59d3w601qb9vsro1_500.jpg

Abrams really took that need more lens flare thing personally.

Star Trek N2 Fast 2 Dark

the darkness = evil spock

LEGION OF STARHEROES GREAT TREK INTO DARKNESS SAGA

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/bc/Great_Darkness_Saga_TPB.jpg/250px-Great_Darkness_Saga_TPB.jpg

darkness
imprisoning me
all that i see
william shatner

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C6xkvEhr1Is/T3NU5sJ9IFI/AAAAAAAABg8/ESlWyADT5Rw/s1600/Voltaire_-_Banned_On_Vulcan.jpg

bonnie 'prince' bill shatner
i see into darkness

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/48/IseeaDarkness.jpg

ok guys

come on, "into darkness" NAGL for trek

Jump starting the lucrative market for Star Trek / Twilight crossover slashfic...

into dark of moon the

star trek: into ponies

c+f "into dorkness"

"Phrase not found"

smdh at you all

Star Trek: Into Dark Helmet

Into Dickness

star trek just not that into you

http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Yo+dawg+we+heard+you+liked+memes+_19d7fa6f8b0e1e5c329814bf1c2e1aeb.jpg
"Yo dawg, we heard you were into Star Trek, so we put Star Trek in your Star Trek so you can Star Trek while you Star Trek."

spock records uhura's demise by tribbles in darkened jefferies tube on night vision camcorder

lol:

Well clearly the demand is there for tribble villains. listening Abrams?

― a cuter kind of annoying (latebloomer), Thursday, December 9, 2010 12:49 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you realize we're now going to get a Clovertribble, right

― BO (DJP), Thursday, December 9, 2010 12:50 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha dang

am i the only one who thinks 'star trek into darkness' is the funniest title ever

It is so awkward and pretentious at the same time.

final scene: a tribble falls out of a freight container in the background; uhura and spock don't see it due to lense flare

Ringo Starr: Trek Into Darkness

Starlight Trekspress Into Darkness
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/StarlightLogo.jpg/215px-StarlightLogo.jpg

i cannot bear the darkness - dark as a vulcan colon

Star Trek Into My Heart

Is that Keanu on the poster?

Is that the Gherkin to the fella's right? Is it supposed to be future London?

definitely gherkin but guessing it's just random skyscraper clip art.

Apparently the Eye is in there as well! Rumors are that it IS London. And that clones of Chris Evans, Richard Littlejohn and Melanie Phillips rule in a reign of terror under the all-seeing visage of the QueenElizabethII Megabot.

hi-res vesrion, eye on the left, a very st pauls looking dome just behind the gherkin.

Could well be the Shard partially obscured by the debris on the far right.

If so it's in completely the wrong place.

Well after they rerouted the Thames etc.

The Future Trek of London

Most pervasive rumor is that someone on the Enterprise gets zapped by cosmic radiation or something and gets eeeeeeviiiil powers. Or something. Darkness.

EVIL UHURA

'star trek into darkness' reminds me of 'spinal tap across america'

evil uhura? man, I didn't know this was a racist title

what if... kirk actually does seduce uhura and his nickname for her is "darkness"?

"I call it the Enterprise."

star trek into chips and curry

i don't want to see this movie

xposts: "I love you, but I've chosen Uhura"

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/paramount/startrekintodarkness/

BWAMMMMMMMMM

Most pervasive rumor is that someone on the Enterprise gets zapped by cosmic radiation or something and gets eeeeeeviiiil powers. Or something. Darkness.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/pt/7/75/StarTrek-TheEnemyWithin.jpg

So let's do a quick Star Trek villains recap:

I: MYSTERIOUS AND IMMENSELY POWERFUL ALIEN CLOUD
II: superdude bent on REVENGE
III: random klingon out for glory
IV: GIANT INSCRUTABLE ALIEN CYLINDER
V: random klingon out for glory? romulan megalomaniac? "vengeful entity?" whatever
VI: it are a conspiracy
TNG I: human megalomaniac
TNG II: BORG
TNG III: bunch of old dudes
TNG IV: romulan bent on REVENGE
Reboot I: romulan bent on REV wait a minute...
Reboot II: As yet unknown humanoid bent on REVENGE

Reboot III: Random Klingon out for glory riding on a GIANT INSCRUTABLE ALIEN CYLINDER (like Slim Pickens at the end of Dr. Stangelove), straight into future London.

definitely gherkin but guessing it's just random skyscraper clip art.

Clearly this is happening in the London quarter of Future Las Vegas.

First trailer...
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/video/2012/dec/06/star-trek-into-darkness-benedict-cumberbatch-trailer-video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diP-o_JxysA

Alice Eve appears twice in the trailer but her character is not named on IMDB. Please, please, please let her be Janice Rand.

OK wait IMDB also lists Heather Langenkamp of the OG Nightmare on Elm Street in the cast. WTF is going on here, Abrams? I demand answers!

darkness
imprisoning me
all that i see
william shatner

Three days later but still... LOL

Bandersnatch Cumberbund is angry about something or other, that's for sure

Some people seem to think that she's playing Dr Elizabeth Dehner, not Janice Rand, and that means that it's a take on the Gary Mitchell story.

I really like Bandersnatch Cumberbund, FWIW.

darkness
imprisoning me
all that i see
william shatner

Three days later but still... LOL

― carl agatha,

Chuckle

Bandersnatch Cumberbund is angry about something or other, that's for sure

Maybe he is butthurt over Elementary.

They're going to have to double the rate of booming klaxon noises to keep me interested in any future movies.

Japanese trailer has slightly more footage at the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=BrHlQUXFzfw

wait is that irradiated spock redux at the end?

looks more like irradiated Kirk

If it's just an excuse to have McCoy say "He's dead, Jim..."

I wish they did a better job of keeping me in the darkness.

I thought the first reboot movie was a okayish sci-fi action movie, but a bad Star Trek movie, and it looks like this may go even further down this route. If you strip away everything that's unique about ST as a franchise (optimism and humanism, ponderous philosophizing, sci-fi high concepts, bright colours, the idea that conflicts could and should be solved via non-aggressive means), what's the point of calling it "Star Trek" anymore? Why not just make these as original movies, so fans wouldn't expect them to actually have some Star Trekkish content?

i sort've agree w/ you tuomas, but the fact is is that old skool 'classic'-style Trek has been dying on its arse commercially for years now - the last two Picard-Trek movies stiffed (and weren't very good, either) and the last Trek TV series was cancelled after four limp seasons (whereas even Voyager managed seven seasons.) Part of the problem facing Trek writers/producers has been the huge amount of imprisoning continuity that grew on the Trek universe like an unwanted space barnacle - so I can totally understand the commercial and creative logic behind the 'reboot', and the decision to make a break with the past. But as you say, the last movie didn't feel v much like Trek at all - maybe that was why it was a hit! If the new one does equally as well, I don't ever expect to see a return to 'Star Trekkish' content - but then, there's 40 plus years of the old stuff out there, should you really need it.

*sobs while clutching ST OG movie box set*

tbf I did like a lot of the reboot Trek movie, Nero's unexplained 25 year mope notwithstanding. It did lean heavier on the popcorn fun side than any of the TOS or TNG movies, but I think enough of the standad Trek elements were there that it could still reasonably be called Star Trek. And this second movie might not be any darker than some plot arcs from DS9.

most of the TNG movies leaned more towards stupid action pictures than thoughtful trekian sci-fi - they just weren't very good or accomplished stupid action pictures, which at least the 09 trek has going for it

lol @ 'like an unwanted space barnacle'

that said i will be sort of disappointed (yet unsurprised) if they keep pumping these out as obnoxiously loud and busy action movies patterned after whatever the filmmaking trend of the day is

Whatever the filmmaking trend of the previous year is.

Watch out for the Star Trek: The Animated Series reboot, titled Star Trek: Friendship is Magic.

Kirk is definitely a Pinkie Pie, while Spock is more of a Twilight Sparkle.

The red-maned ponies always die.

No Yeoman Rand, per io9.com:

It's now confirmed from director J.J. Abrams himself that a Wrath of Khan character will indeed appear in Star Trek Into Darkness — just not necessarily that character. Abrams reportedly confirmed at a recent press event that new cast member Alice Eve is playing Dr. Carol Marcus, who in Wrath of the Khan was the mother of David, Kirk's illegitimate son (well, one of them, anyway — I think we all know Kirk Prime left behind a small armada of bastards), and the inventor of the Genesis Device. It's hard to tell how much overlap between Star Trek Into Darkness and Wrath of Khan we can infer from this news — indeed, the events in this film would presumably line up more with the original Kirk and Marcus's unseen first meeting, namely the one that produced David. So make of all that what you will.

Meanwhile, this officially released image shows Benedict Cumberbatch's character in what certainly appears to be the brig. More intriguingly, the official caption says his character is named John Harrison. And while there's something rather wonderfully appropriate about naming a Star Trek character after the man who invented the chronometer that allowed ships to calculated longitude, it seems reasonably likely that that's some sort of decoy name. Whether it's for Gary Mitchell, Khan, or someone else — hell, maybe this is the John Harrison, returned from the 18th century and righteously pissed off about Starfleet's substandard calculation of space longitude, or something — well, that remains as always anybody's guess.

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/187z62nftybg6jpg/original.jpg

Kirk: "It distinctly said on the invite 'no jeans'. You're not coming in."

its a younger, sexier star trek

http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/65/tumblr_l90aeckGDr1qbdn71o1_500.jpg

but what I want to know is who plays the ceti eel

Khanberbatch: "Why does this whole ship look like a VST plug-in?"

Nerd rage

http://io9.com/5967942/dear-jj-abrams-just-ing-tell-us-who-benedict-cumberbatch-is-playing-in-star-trek-2-already

dude you're writing to a guy who probably gives his own children treasure maps and a pair of plane tickets to find their christmas presents

jesus. simmer the fuck down already

All that rage for a movie that person is definitely going to see anyway.

that is the fanboy mindset in a nutshell

I don't disagree that the "mystery box" approach to hyping a movie is annoying but you can't deny it has gotten people to talk about it.

I'm also kinda baffled at people who think that Crash Bandicoot is playing Khan. I wouldn't put it past Abrams & co. to do something that dumb, but I just don't see it.

it's annoying but it's his whole moviemaking career almost. if you don't like the secret box you're SOL

just go see the movie when it opens, buncha fking crybabies

Seriously. Is he Gary Mitchell, Harry Mudd, or one of a hundred other minor original Star Trek characters

Captain Garth?

Odo

Dude. Chill. He's Quark. Now get lost.

Tribble.

maybe his full name is john harrison FINNEGAN
http://tomwhahappen.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/finnegan_jaunty.jpg
come fight the darkness, jimmy me boy!

hahaha

I'm trying to think of an example of nerdrage that I didn't feel merited execution and I'm coming up empty

nerdrage is terrible but nerdragerage seem perfectly sensible to me

it's amazing that people can get mad about what they don't know about a movie yet 5 months from its release. i'm always trying to know less about a movie before i see it! even if we don't know now, you think there's any way that question won't be answered by like March at the latest?

I mean, I'm almost always flying into some kind of nerdrage over something, and I can normally completely appreciate Star Trek-related nerdrage, but the entitlement of that nerdragesplosion just is v offputting to me.

Let's be real: it has to be a pretty extreme case of IA for me to be all, dude calm the fuck down

it's amazing that people can get mad about what they don't know about a movie yet 5 months from its release. i'm always trying to know less about a movie before i see it! even if we don't know now, you think there's any way that question won't be answered by like March at the latest?

― some dude, Wednesday, December 12, 2012 10:36 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

Don't nerds generally hate spoilers too? Confusing

maybe they just want to coordinate cosplay on opening day.

^^^ i think yr onto something

just imagine everyone's all dressed like khan and end credits roll and khan was nowhere in the movie and they all tremble lip quivering shout to the heavens, "ABRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS"

Benedict Cumberpatch as:

http://www.theweeklings.com/wp-content/uploads/6113204474_812ffd6659_z1.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_RxFpeshzZ_I/TIGIwtJM30I/AAAAAAAAABg/WC6wQre2VVo/s320/320x240.jpg

jesus was clint howard ever not fugly?

I don't get Rob Bricken.

I sometimes close my eyes and plug my ears during trailers.

Doubling down on the rage!

https://twitter.com/RobBricken/status/279239170633920512

can you hire a sniper on Twitter

This is beyond 'first world problems', like 'zeroth world problems', or something.

xp maybe it's possible to hire someone to explain to him exactly what a 'teaser trailer' actually is.

Jodie Foster hoping this guy never sees Taxi Driver

autism is a hell of a drug

This guy needs an intervention. This quote from the article is semi-hilarious:

Remember how the Avengers movie refused to tell us who the aliens were? As time went on and Marvel refused to tell, we didn't get more excited to see Avengers, we just got annoyed. The obsessive speculation became distracting, which as a filmmaker should be the last thing you want.

Don't be so quick to use "we" unless it is being used in the royal sense -- literally no one I encountered online or in real life cared about this. And not naming the aliens in the Avengers didn't hurt the box office any in any way, did it? I don't think filmmakers or movie studios care that a bunch of guys write angry internet posts or complain to the clerks at the comic book store about this crap.

Wow this guy... it's like he's addicted to spoilers.

"Hey, maybe they want to leave something to the imagination before the release..."
"Wha... what's... imagination?"

And don't pin this on comic nerds! We often have to go many many months before some little mystery is cleared up. That's how they keep us buying comics month after month! I wouldn't have it any other way!

I scanned some of the comments on that horrorshow and found only one person saying "stfu", and he was being chastised for lowering the tone

this is making me not want to see the movie moreso than any alleged mystery over the identity of the villain

This guy is a piece of work:

@RobBricken
Netflix, listing Avengers:EMH as 52 episodes being available when you only have 26 is BULLSHIT. Gettin a man's hopes up like that. NOT COOL.

suggest Paxil

suggest baby's dummy

suggest not making eye contact

Still Brickening! (Different subject at least)

http://io9.com/5968170/8-ways-to-keep-the-fantastic-four-movie-reboot-from-sucking

jesus christ enough with the reboots already argghhh

I'm going to stop clicking on those links. That dude really gets to me.

Anybody that is that heavily invested in defining himself as a nerd and spills into capslock rage at the most innocuous things amuses me but is also somewhat scary.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5gdbUC9mWU

-were the shuttles about to do a starburst? did they seriously pack in a wesley crusher reference?

-one of the dramatic shots appears to be someone dropping a tablet of alka seltzer into a glass

people jump off of things a lot

yeah, but SPACE alka seltzer

so tired of the foghorn BWWWAAAAH....BWAAAAHH scores for trailers

but looks like things happen and chris pine so hi yes I will see this

0:37
"I can't swim."
"Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you."

Kirk Cassidy and the Sundance Bones

the IMAX preview thing (basically the first 9 minutes of the movie) was pretty entertaining

Yeah IMAX preview was cool. Seems like a more old school 60s Star Trek feel to it in many ways, not less the colorful planet with cartoonish spear-chucking natives.

But the 3D was horrible. If i see this in a theater i'm definitely seeing it in 2D. It opens with a shot in the hospital and there's a blurry piece of a equipment in the foreground and in 3D it looks like this hovering mass of god knows what, it just looks completely awful. Also the pacing and the cuts are pretty fast-paced, this would totally give me a headache after more than 10 minutes.

Some scenes (and the "needs of the many" dialog) are straight lifted from the Wrath of Khan tho. That movie is perfect, i hope they don't rely on callbacks too much.

if they keep mirroring the original movie arcs, then nu-trek V could finally fulfill the promise of shatner's tru vision

Complete with rock man

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bemhyCVcu3o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhz4A5BCMAA

'star trek into darkness' reminds me of 'spinal tap across america'

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, December 5, 2012 10:43 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark

this still cracks me up

Looks cool, but there are so many cliches in those two minutes alone it's distressing. "A hero will rise!"

and then repeatedly jump off cliffs

i feel like maybe jj abrams doesn't really get star trek. wtf is a rogue starfleet agent. also fuck sherlock and explosions and all this stuff. more talking and more transporter mishaps.

Lando: "That was too close"

More Crystalline Entities, less brooding Twilight-lookin' dudes.

Hey, they're young, they can't help it!

Yeah, this looks like a hyperactive mess, and I actually liked the last one okay for what it was. Just don't care enough about that cast and their chemistry to really need to see them in their further adventures with a second-rate Khan.

maybe starfleet should be all about vendettas, makes u think

Star Trek: Into Ninjas

Anyway it is an alternate timeline, this one's the 'shit just blows up real good' universe.

villain w/nebulous motives from the nolan school, a key action scene seemingly inspired by godfather 3, more gun battles than space opera. cool.

Thought this might be a good thread to mention that all Star Trek series are playing for free on Hulu until the 31st. I've been catching up on TOS...

leong, all 3 of those suck.

nolan is hit or miss, godfather 3 is spotty at best, i want more space opera...i wasn't really trying to convey enthusiasm.

http://herocomplex.latimes.com/movies/spock-vs-spock-leonard-nimoy-and-zachary-quinto-spar-in-audi-ad/#/0

idk, later ST series did "rogue starfleet agents" reasonably well with the maquis

duly appointed starfleet agents

wife going to cast screening on Monday

*jealous*

i'm stoked to see this but my expectations for it are a bit low.

there's a lot of winnable free ticket contests for this movie going around if you don't feel like paying.

My group at work is going on opening day in the afternoon. Woooo.

watched this earlier. its fun but its basically The Wrath Of Khan 2013

Do you mean in quality or plot? Cos TWOK is not just my favorite ST movie but i feel like one of the most well-made SF films of all time.

mostly plot. i mean theres quite a few changes from TWOK but bad guy is Khan (genetically modified superhuman)....and theres some major set pieces taken from the original. i dont think this is quite as good, a bit too hyperactive tbh

HEY

SPOILERS~~~

SPOILERS

Do they at any point play "Amazing Grace" as a coffin is flying through outer space (thus inventing Spiritualized)?

Just saw this, it was alright. I thought it went a little overboard with the TWOK references. Wish we saw more of the Klingons.

no to adams quesion

might hv been tempted to cave and see this at a matinee, but no way now.

why

Khan overload

khannnnnnberbatch

http://25.media.tumblr.com/38fd958618a11ab367809b674a548484/tumblr_mmebur8Kyn1qdtdy1o3_r1_250.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/2b10752b6a4e04b2800b7dc2c9b7ea67/tumblr_mmebur8Kyn1qdtdy1o1_250.gif

has tumblr at large figured out that cumberbatch is playing khan though

feel like that'll ignite a minor shitstorm over there

(which, hey, it's something. from what i hear this is tracking like shit)

khannnnnnberbatch

Money

I thought this was entertaining, if hectic - Abrams isn't the most subtle director of action, and there's a LOT of action in this; it bombards you with movement and light and noise, and doesn't let up.
I thought the visual effects were good: the Klingon homeworld stuff and the space battles and the rest of it, and I was gripped throughout, but there was no room for character development or anything; the Spock-Uhura love-tiff sub-sub-sub-plot, for instance, was throwaway nonsense.

They really didn't need all of the Wrath of Khan referencing that went on towards the end, I thought it spoiled it. Cumberbatch was cool, tho.

Thought it pretty decent. Certainly took my mind off what I was hoping it would take my mind off, screwed up the exam again, & didn't think it strategically which might have meant I only had to repeat one section.

But yeah loads of lovely explosions, loads of people running around.

Benedict Cummerbatch who I'd just seen in Parade's End last weekend playing a very straight looking versionof the character that on last appearance looked like an ageing LA glam rocker.

Weird takes on first contact epistemology, which had me remebering the story of native americans not being able to see/comprehend the tall ships that Europeans arrived in in 16-18th century encounters. & what that would mean regarding the Star Fleet policy understanding in the film.

& here in town 120 people went to see the film at 0.01 yesterday morning. Had to ask what the turn out was after hearing about it being on. The cinema isn't very central so needs to be trekked to & from especially since buses stop running at 11.30pm.
& was also left wondering what other films recently had been big enough to warrant that type of PR activity. Can't really think of any, Iron Man 3 didn't get the early morning thing. I guess Avengers is the other film as large & not sure that was known beforehand. Didn't think Star Trek was going to be that big. Does it depend on the fanbase - type of person rather than size? assuming Trekkies are pretty obsessive etc.

The Dark Knight Returns

Rises, sorry

John Parr
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090604045829/memoryalpha/en/images/thumb/2/26/Khan_Noonien_Singh%2C_2285.jpg/292px-Khan_Noonien_Singh%2C_2285.jpg
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!
http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100815153304/miamivice/images/5/5f/Johnparr.jpg

lololol

was also left wondering what other films recently had been big enough to warrant that type of PR activity. Can't really think of any, Iron Man 3 didn't get the early morning thing. I guess Avengers is the other film as large & not sure that was known beforehand. Didn't think Star Trek was going to be that big. Does it depend on the fanbase - type of person rather than size? assuming Trekkies are pretty obsessive etc.

one of the tng movies was one of the only movies i've ever been to where people applauded at the end. so…

This was pretty great, I thought. I saw it with a total Star Trek noob and she was on the edge of her seat, so although it was heavy on TWOK refs, they weren't integral at all. A good sign, I thought.

I'd say they're pretty integral. And sloppily done

my wife's takeaway was that this was a lot of fun, but why can't they come up with some new stories

^^^^^^^

This Abrams knows his era.

(ie I just read a spoilerrific review and I'm grateful I never have to see this)

this was clunky, messy nonsense, telegraphs every plot point in advance and was so by-the-numbers that it spoiled the whizzing enjoyment vibe the first one had. BIG MESSAGES throughout, fuck off. Cumberbatch owns the screen, pine is really really awful and both he and spock got bloat since #1.

Worth catching but a long way off the last one.

it's funny how the big character reveal leaked months ago and was semi-denied, just like Spock's death before Wrath of Khan btw.

Nimoy's in this AGAIN??? wtf do they need him for

we could say the same about your presence in this thread, morbs

every thread needs its bones

i'm a doctor, not a dead actor

the Nimoy appearance is totally superfluous though

lol i love u morbz

seeing this tomorrow at midnight

"down in the Jeffries Tube at midnight, woah-oh-oh-oooooooh!"

When Into Darkness dares to do a role-reversal replay of Khan’s most heartrending sequence, it feels like sacrilege.... By the time the film gallingly concludes with an onscreen dedication to our post-9/11 troops (I wish I were kidding), you want to boldly go somewhere, all right…under a rock, until a more empathetic and enlightened stardate comes around.

http://www.timeout.com/us/film/star-trek-into-darkness-movie-review

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_melresltWk1qimft8o1_r1_500.gif

Funny, I don't remember there being an onscreen dedication at the end.

is she the photon torpedo specialist

THIS FILM IS DEDICATED TO OUR POST-9/11 VETERANS WITH GRATITUDE FOR THEIR INSPIRED SERVICE ABROAD AND CONTINUED LEADERSHIP AT HOME.

That gif is probably the best moment in the film

its my favorite part of the trailers and commercials. i love that she rears back for a moment before unleashing what i assume is a hellacious scream

that dedication is funny to me because the first movie was basically about Our Brave Boys fighting space iraqis... i guess they're gonna keep pushing it in that direction and away from roddenberry's utopianism

'inspired' service? What is that supposed to mean? Soldiers of god?

I'm sure the ded was written by First Vulcan [sic] Obama

wtf is that post-9/11 crap???? as a pre-9/11 veteran go fuck yrself jj abrams! WE WON OUR WAR!

enjoyed the first abrams one enough, love cumberbatch, have zero interest in seeing this for some reason. watched the 'this side of paradise' episode last night, it was awesome. 'had enough'! shatner was so great, kelly otm:

http://i.imgur.com/hYKzpqD.jpg

just rewatched "who mourns for adonais?". gets me! would it have hurt us, i wonder, just to have gathered a few laurel leaves?

Wil Wheaton is annoyed

So is Khan supposed to be desi or what? Ricardo Montalban? Benetton Cucumberpatch? C'mon.

xpost yeah i was kind of annoyed too. I'm trying to be gracious & give him a little bit of the benefit of the doubt, thinking that maybe as a kid when you're looking for cool scifi you might get turned off by the whole morality-play bent of Star Trek, I totally get that but still... I just don't like it when JJ talks about Star Trek, the way he wears that dislike on his sleeve so hard even now that he's done 2 movies and supposedly enjoys it now. I don't like it, I don't like it. Never have. Never will, probably..

animated gif otm

i wasn't a sophisticated enough kid for star trek either but yeah he's pretty glib about it.

they shot people with phasers, they beamed themselves thru space w/ a whooshy device, how sophisticated did you need to be

http://media3.s-nbcnews.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Photo/_new/110419-WalkerPhoto-hmed-1235a.grid-6x2.jpg

yeah, star trek was hella crusty when i was a kid. dug it anyways.

some people at work were talking about the new movie, and someone asked one of my coworkers if he liked Star Trek. He hemmed and hawed and said, 'Weeelllllllll, I didn't have any spock ears or anything, and I don't own blueprints for the Enterprise, haha, it's not like I can speak klingon or anything, but yeah I mean I watched it"

jesus fucking christ. you can just say you watch Star Trek without qualifying it! no-one's going to shove you in a trashcan for fuck's sake.

it pisses me off.

This was a little better than I was expecting. Pretty dumb and convoluted plot-wise, but the crew's chemistry holds it together.

CabbagePatch Bumblebee was fine but it was utterly unnecessary to make him you-know-who. In addition to whitewashing a badass POC villain it's just lazy.

But overall the movie was entertaining.

also, lol @ klingon ships that sound like TIE fighters

http://movies.nytimes.com/2013/05/16/movies/star-trek-into-darkness-directed-by-j-j-abrams.html?hpw&_r=0

Mr. Abrams will never be Michael Bay

ouch

Haha how is that NOT Armond White.

I remember Abrams approaching Benicio del Toro and Edgar Ramirez to play the bad guy role back when this was still in early stages (both of em turned it down more or less immediately I think?). Wonder at what point he decided that casting the whitest of white British dudes would be the key to his "mystery box" approach this time around tbh.

that was wiggity wiggity wack, yo

i found it entertaining but it seems odd that a light but incredibly specific pisstake of the original star trek is now the official star trek series.

Is this worth seeing for someone who loved The Next Generation, but found the first movie pretty generic? Because based on the trailers, this one looks even more like a generic sci-fi action movie with superficial Star Trek content sprinkled on top. Is there any space exploration? Weird aliens? Ethical dilemmas? High concepts? Sci-fi utopianism? Because if all of that stuff is missing (like it largely was from the previous movie), I think I'll just skip this one.

i would call star trek more humanist than utopian

all the ethical stuff is completely gone

apart from like obvious pastiche references to the prime directive

no exploration, aliens are scenery, ethical dilemmas are glib, high concepts not really, yes it's more of a generic sci fi movie than actual trek

i am a big fan of the og series, tng, ds9 and enterprise, found this to be about as enjoyable as the transformers movies

the action sequences are loud and exciting like the ones in transformers (or whatever blockbuster sci fi action movie) and equally choppy / confusing, lots of cg shit flying everywhere

there is some funny dialogue, i guess

what's interesting to me is that even with all the bright lights in your eyes - to the point where the bridge looks like a discotheque! - it's all so much more drab and ugly than the og series

worth seeing? i dunno

it was a lot less choppy/confusing for me than transformers, which was kinda the epitome of choppy/confusing. like it at least entertained me. i can't even rate blockbusters properly though cos i hardly ever see any. i just had had a few beers and my brother and i decided to go see it. that may have helped.

it's not star trek in any meaningful way tho.

and lol the credits in 3d were really cool.

Thanks for the info! Movie tickets are so expensive these days, I don't wanna waste the money on some generic action stuff, especially it's based on a franchise I actually like and hence is bound to disappoint. So I guess I'm just gonna wait until this is on Netflix or something.

i paid 15 pounds to see it. really crazily expensive.

I had to give them my liver

but that's because I saw it drunk

(not really)

Well i hope u got a seat for that price

I've not seen this, but why couldn't they have made Bumblekraftwerk's character Captain Garth? In the new movie timeline, Kirk become captain of the Enterprise much earlier than in TOS, so he might have actually had a hand in taking down the rogue Garth this time.

Or was it stand and the liver

from what i've read on Wiki, Roddenberry used to have fights with Nicholas Meyer about NM making his ST films 'too militaristic.' Good thing he's not seeing these.

THIS FILM IS DEDICATED TO OUR POST-9/11 VETERANS WITH GRATITUDE FOR THEIR INSPIRED SERVICE ABROAD AND CONTINUED LEADERSHIP AT HOME.

One of the writers is a Truther, so make what you will of that.

they didn't show that message in the uk, fwiw.

at the end it just said:

KEEP EATING BLOOD SAUSAGE MATES

and everyone cheered

from what i've read on Wiki, Roddenberry used to have fights with Nicholas Meyer about NM making his ST films 'too militaristic.' Good thing he's not seeing these.

haha i was thinking when i read that 9/11 thing about how WoK is kind of a guilty pleasure despite being The Best Space Movie, because it turns trek into boilerplate revenge-driven space opera. (but for depth it has shatner putting on his reading glasses while transmitting the shutdown code, so it's ok.) and then there's this.

In his commentary on the film Meyer talked about thinking of the Horatio Hornblower books as his model for Trek, so there ya go.

^^^

well Roddenberry cited the old TV series "Wagon Train" as one of his templates. (never saw it, but I don't think they killed Injuns every week)

posted this before but used to love the shit out of these:

http://michaelthompson.org/seafort/00-midshipman.jpg

cover explains everything

THIS FILM IS DEDICATED TO OUR POST-9/11 VETERANS WITH GRATITUDE FOR THEIR INSPIRED SERVICE ABROAD AND CONTINUED LEADERSHIP AT HOME.

One of the writers is a Truther, so make what you will of that.

― ...also i'm awesome (Nicole), Thursday, May 16, 2013 10:21 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wow which one?

Orci.

A few posts back... "...triumphant tradition of Ender's Game"? Man, someone somewhere misread SOMETHING.

in the triumphant tradition of guns in space

Pretty damning take here:

http://io9.com/star-trek-into-dumbness-507058729

I'll be seeing it tonight, come what may.

LOL "into dumbness" is right!

Star Trek was always about exploring new shit. It's even in Kirk's opening monologue: to seek out strange new shit and new civilizations.

this new shit is all fucked up

i thought The Search for Shit was the one Shatner directed

Shitner directed the one where they met god and shit

It was pointed out via the Agony Booth that this is the twelfth Trek film overall.

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111202041117/simpsons/images/1/14/52085074_7a4c317e4c.jpg

Roger Moore available to join next crew

xpost yeah i was kind of annoyed too. I'm trying to be gracious & give him a little bit of the benefit of the doubt, thinking that maybe as a kid when you're looking for cool scifi you might get turned off by the whole morality-play bent of Star Trek, I totally get that but still... I just don't like it when JJ talks about Star Trek, the way he wears that dislike on his sleeve so hard even now that he's done 2 movies and supposedly enjoys it now. I don't like it, I don't like it. Never have. Never will, probably..

This^ First of all I had the JJA copy of Wire magazine and it is full of puzzles and cryptograms and hidden images and themes and he repeatedly states how much he loves logic puzzles and stuff and quite frankly the whole thing flew over my head. I figured ok that's cool but I really don't care, nerd.

How Star Trek is too intellectual or something for this guy doesn't really make any sense. Really just pick any episode from the original series at random and if you can follow the plot to Star Wars it will be a piece of cake. Maybe this is part of marketing. Trekkies are going to see the new Star Trek movie, this is a given, so you may as well try for the people that are too cool for Star Trek. The director is pretty popular amongst the moviegoing public so if someone liked Lost but does not consider themselves nerdy enough for Star Trek (and this is likely a LOT of people) they will be relieved that the director also feels the same way.

It's odd that we live in 2013: Nerd Paradise and still have to deal with social stigmas like Star Trek is too high-minded or intellectual or something. It's not. If you can follow sports you can follow Star Trek.

his Wired issue was really good.

I think it is definitely partly a marketing thing. They want to make sure that non Trek fans aren't scared away by the words Star...Trek. YOU GUYS IT'S COOL IT JUST LOOKS LIKE TREK BUT IT'S NOT REALLY, LIKE THESE ARE GUYS YOU WOULD TOTALLY PLAY BEER PONG WITH THEY'RE TOTES COOL YOU GUYS COME ON COME TO OUR MOVIE IT'S LIKE TRANSFORMERS BUT WAY COOLER YOU GUYS PLEEEEEEEEZE

I get that they're trying to destigmatize it but it does feel a bit alienating when you hear it out loud. lol pun intended

The director is pretty popular amongst the moviegoing public so if someone liked Lost

1) Lost was TV

2) Most people who see big-studio movies don't know the director's name

3) I think a large number of ppl paying to see these films never saw Star Trek before 2009

If you think I'm exaggerating, remember the "omg Titanic was a real ship" tweets.

remember when philip pullman accused tolkien of being an "infantile" writer interested in "maps and plans and languages and codes"? terribly unfair to maps but that's kinda how i feel about jja. the form of intelligence with none of the content.

that's why everything is a big secret that doesn't mean anything.

you know like the radioactive thing
yeah that was just like the original
dude did you catch the tribble?
SICK REFERENCE BRO

^^ conversation between a group of very-normal looking fratboys and girls at last night's show

fucking Tarantino has so much to pay for

screw drama, give us REFERENCES

people say "nice reference!" to me sometimes and it always makes me feel like i should self-flagellate.

otm. "nice reference!" belongs in the IA thread

i don't have much of a beef with JJA in general, I think he has some really good ideas that tend to fall down in execution at times. I don't think referencing Lost is a moot point w/r/t to the Star Trek movies, because JJA definitely has kept a lot of his fanbase FROM tv and brought them into films like Star Trek and Super 8. I mean, that applies to Whedon as well. You can't say well one is tv and one is a film and that the fans of one show will ignore that creator's work in a different medium. That's not true at all.

Anyway. I am looking forward to this movie but I'm feeling a little wary.

sick Tarantino ref Morbs! *hi fives*

i was surprised at how bad it was and i like JJA and enterprise

hence my wariness

remember the "omg Titanic was a real ship" tweets

Over half of which were meta.

wait someone said they liked enterprise?!

i *really* like enterprise

i fucking died when i heard those kids though

the best thing about it as usual was uhura/spock. sulu got in some good ones too. chekhov is like a cartoon character in a bad way, scotty in a good way. i really hate mccoy, he delivers all his lines like MACGRUFF MACGRUFF MACGRUFF. and chris pine terrible as usual. sadly noel clarke was barely in it.

i thought mccoy was REALLY bad in the last one (which i loved in the theatre, liked okay at home) and then everybody said he was doing the best impression.

people say "nice reference!" to me sometimes and it always makes me feel like i should self-flagellate.

haha yeah this is second in awfulness only to when you say something even remotely funny or clever and the first response you get is 'what's that from?'

who CAN'T do a DeForest Kelley impression? I don't think ppl nec meant that as a compliment.

so does this Cmdr Marcus have a wife named Carol?

also what the hell was Enterprise?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=zxgNqNLKCms#t=44s

xp

wait i'm part of the problem aren't i

that question about marcus is a spoiler

cumberbatch is like something out of a FPS game, my gf had a big problem with them not casting an actor of color for the role of KHAN NOONIAN SINGH but i thought he looked alien enough for the part. he has one ridiculously OTT monologue where his eyes look like computer graphics.

like the nytimes: "lens flare is not a personal statement"

idg the complaints about McCoy, thought he was spot-on in the first one

Morbs: enterprise was most recent Star Trek series reboot done as a prequel with Scott Bakula

Theme song was the best part.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8OpsPok6iQ

yeah I liked Urban's McCoy, he was cool.

IT"S BEEN A LONG TIME
GETTING FROM HERE TO THERE
IT'S BEEN A LONG ROAD
BUT MY TIME IS FINALLY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE

http://tnhomeandfarm.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/country-ham-tn.jpg

whoops sorry for that outburst

that big pic is what i think of mccoy

the pic is actually a good representation of the theme song

DIANE WARREN QUEEN OF HAM

i thought mccoy was REALLY bad in the last one

what the christ

if u didnt think bones was the best thing about 09trek then just smh

I liked the Kirk-big-hands-allergy joke from Looney Tunes best

(besides Nimoy obv)

hating on bones is p much ban-able, I don't understand at all

Nobody should pick on the best Dredd.

lord give me the strength to deal with these trolls... maybe its time to break the glass on Flag Post

morbs and i have the same favorite part of trek 09 what should i do

xpost H4A irl http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/1/9/15/anigif_enhanced-buzz-30307-1357764216-8.gif

ya need a roommmate? xp

AO Scott gave me my Marcus answer.

would naturally be honored to have a post flagged. does System tell you when it happens?

morbs and i living together would be ilx's chance to break into the lucrative world of situation comedy

i don't have much of a beef with JJA in general, I think he has some really good ideas that tend to fall down in execution at times

OTM.

Let's not forget that LOST FUCKING SUCKED!

The fact that uber-hack and fan-hating douchebag Damon Lindelof is involved in this Trek is almost enough to make me skip it.

Oooo that last season of Lost STILL makes me pissed-off when I think about it.

Join the club! But I only have myself to blame, I saw Alias take a dramatic dive in quality after the second season so I should have known better.

I quit Lost after Season 2 I think? I have never finished it. Waiting til I'm in a mood to be amused by the suckage to finish watching.

I don't really watch Star Trek for the action, but for the boring bits when they sit around a table and decide what to do. Is there a lot of table action in this?

i think the problem w/JJA is that his considerable audience pleasing instincts are no match for his occasional lack of truly inspired ideas and general lack of 'beauty' in his action filmmaking.

Well this was kind of a non-entity for me. Except for the dedication, which retroactively threatened to turn it into a WTF conversation piece of some kind.

also, the "aren't we supposed to be explorers?!" bits made the movie kind of fell like a lampshade for itself. or something.

I saw Alias take a dramatic dive in quality after the second season

rong

Better than I expected, endless amounts of shoutouts/callbacks roffly, our bunch figured out most of the plot twists pretty easily and the, um, "KHAAAAAAN!"/lone wolf bits = oh please. Still whoever says this is worse than Michael Bay with Transformers is completely goddamn high.

Was def high when I watched the most recent Transformers movie. Made it glide.

You live the dream. (Stoner.)

callbacks

we have a winner!

Dare I ask?

haaaaaaaaate that usage so friggin' much

I picked it up from MST3K years back so you can blame the Minnesotans.

shoutouts/Servos

This would be a true dream.

getting ready for this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7HbHMOMD6o

I have seen the star treks

Seems to be making some reasonable bank so far

http://www.deadline.com/2013/05/star-trek-into-darkness-3d-opens-to-2m-late-night-and-imax/

sick callback bro

also, the "aren't we supposed to be explorers?!" bits made the movie kind of feel like a lampshade for itself. or something.

Yeah, for all that it's an enjoyable movie that I enjoyed the living shit out of, it does seem to come up short in being a Star Trek movie, like they wanted to make an actual in-space film but they have to stick it largely on earth and they want to have a bunch of talking about philosophy but they end up with a punch-up. I mean, I am totally down with abstract notions backed up with photon torpedoes, but the mano-a-mano stuff I can leave.

Also liked the reference to Nurse Chapel, and Kirk's reaction being "Well no I don't remember her, and frankly I think we should concentrate on me hitting on you"

Also the "Oh there's an emergency meeting of all of the captains? Sure I'll come along, but in case you haven't noticed I'm pretty hammered. I might be throwing up on your shoes if there's any sudden movements required"

Also Montgomery Scott, stone cold killer!

Bit (SPOILERY) bit I might not have understood - so Khan went about refitting all of the new torpedoes he'd made so his crew were the payload, but got disturbed during this, and no-one thought "Oh we should look at these torpedoes that the lunatic was tinkering with?"

Also he was kind of counting on being captured alive rather than Marcus's plan of firing his frozen friends at him, huh.

Thought it was kinda funny the way Khan was always trying to crush people's heads with his hands. Reminded me of Macgruber only having that one throat-rip move and relishing every chance to use it on a bad guy.

I could watch another 15 minutes or so of Khan just going ham on everyone

better yet insert it for 15 mins less of everything else

does anyone know if there are any callbacks in this to the first abrams movie or is it strictly callbacks to the original series? any callbacks to tng or ds9?

Section 31 is a covert organization from several TNG and later shows

Negative reviews otm, most of the performances are good, but wish this had been better. Now watching TOS episode "The Man Trap" to get the bad taste out, with salt tablets.

Callbacks to the first movie = OldSpock, Pike convincing Kirk into Starfleet (and the fight in the bar), Scotty's sidekick, the whole Kirk / Spock / Uhura love triangle, Scotty's brilliant warp invention.

Actual that reminds me, if Scotty invented the warp drive, how did they get around before that? And didn't someone in this movie say they stopped freezing people a few hundred years back, once they had the warp drive? Are there different levels of warp drive? Other then the warp factor.

Actual that reminds me, if Scotty invented the warp drive, how did they get around before that

no he invented "transwarp beaming" in the first movie (convenient way to teleport vast distances or between ships moving at warp speed).

in all Star Trek continuities it was Zephram Cochran who invented the warp drive

i can't help it

OK, thanks. Intranetz reminds me of the episode of The Original Series in which he appears, "Metamorphosis." Also was just was reminded that Uhura spoke - in Swahili!- to the salt vampire. Must continue rewatching, I guess.

Let's see how deep it goes: do you know when James Kirk's middle named entered the canon?

star trek vi: the undiscovered country IIRC

Thought it was from an episode of The Animated Series scripted by Dave Gerrold.

Oh, wait, animated was de-canonized.

I really want a TV series now where old Spock and nu-Spock solve crimes together.

So does everyone in Starfleet know about the two Spocks now? I thought they said at the end of the last movie that that was a bad idea.

Didn't Spock ask Uhura to open a specific channel to the Vulcan home planet?

That's what I thought. Although Vulcan was destroyed, no? So where was old Spock hanging out again, I forget? The rogue Vulcan moon? But Vulcan has no moon, as Spock curtly told Uhura during "The Man Trap."

Also, this guy hated, hated, hated it: http://www.hollywood.com/news/movies/55014633/star-trek-into-darkness-fan-review-betrayal-star-wars-prequels

I assume there's some planet with most of the Vulcans on it, and that's the Vulcan home planet - a quick peek at the Wikipedia entry for the first film suggests that's about right.

Did you read this Wikipedia section?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcan_(Star_Trek)#Star_Trek_.282009.29_alternate_timeline

n the alternate reality presented by the 2009 film Star Trek, the planet Vulcan is destroyed in the year 2258 by an artificial black hole created by the Narada, a Romulan mining vessel from the future, killing most of its six billion inhabitants.

I stuck to the film: "Having selected a planet for the surviving Vulcans to colonize, the older Spock persuades his younger self to continue serving Starfleet, encouraging him to do what feels right, instead of what is logical."

Oh I see.

Didn't Spock ask Uhura to open a specific channel to the Vulcan home planet?

― Andrew Farrell, Sunday, 19 May 2013 14:45 (1 hour ago) Permalink

He said New Vulcan. Remember, Old Spock in the last movie said he was going to help the surviving Vulcans find a new settlement.

Man, that role reversal of Wrath's climax sounds even worse than trotting out Khan as a pasty Anglo. I would've had an outburst in the theater.

Didn't really care enough at that point, had already thrown in the towel when Buckaroo Banzai went berserk.

ROBOCOP NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

in the next film, a rip in the space-time continuum unites new spock, old spock, nude spock.

In which they do battle with Ricardo the Troll.

i enjoyed this, mostly for the same reasons i liked st09. the cast chemistry is so strong that i'd probably enjoy watching them just hanging out playing poker, nevermind the Epic Space Drama or w/e. even pine who i didnt love the first time around was really good. yelchin's the weakest link and since he doesnt have anything to do its not a big deal anyway

(i still cant get over vahid deriding urban for being a ham when he's in a movie derived from a tv show centered around william shatner. why do u even like star trek man... or maybe u dont?)

i was pretty much with the movie right up until khan came aboard the enterprise, at which point the movie seemed to steadily get worse right until the end. tony todd should've played khan. or better yet, just nix khan since you couldnt do him justice and let peter weller chew scenery all day

this was enjoyable enough hacky garbage, so still better than at least half of the trek movies. but yeah, this is just superhero action/adventure with some star trek fluff on top at this point. anything that was supposed to carry some emotional heft came off laughable. wanted more klingons, wanted more for khan vs. kirk, and ultimately, I wanted the movie about 'exploring strange new worlds' the ending seemed to promise instead of this one.

did nukhan preemptively abort David by wombpunching inexplicably British carol Marcus?
Also Kirk playing a vinyl copy of a beastie boys song that namechecks mr. Spock -- does he do a spit take when it gets to that part of the song?
Troubling questions raised by this movie.

Also Kirk playing a vinyl copy of a beastie boys song that namechecks mr. Spock

sick reference bro!

you genetically engineered bastard! you killed my unborn son!

Oh wait it's the fatboy slim mix of body movin, not intergalactic -- if they are on different records then continuity is saved!

so, will abrams direct the next one now that he's slated to do the new star wars flick? no great loss imo.

i was dismissive of story logic stuff on iron man 3 but i think it would've been nice if more of this movie, y'know, made any sense at all. and i was surprised by how often the movie just stops to have people stand around and explain things. i thought if nothing else abrams was a slicker storyteller than that. i do like the look of these movies a lot, tons of colors and lights and a constantly moving michael bay camera, with some cool some retro design elements that work really nicely

i think the problem w/JJA is that his considerable audience pleasing instincts are no match for his occasional lack of truly inspired ideas and general lack of 'beauty' in his action filmmaking.

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, May 16, 2013 6:51 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark

i think this is pretty otm, especially about the lack of ideas. i think he's a capable dramatist and his approach to emphasizing the human side of trek has mostly worked, but so much of his energy feels like it goes into the affectation of meaning... i dont even mean thematically, but just like on a character level

i hope urban keeps playing mccoy until he's actually a senior citizen

But is McCoy just there for jokes? There should be more than that to the character. I can't see films like this developing Kirk's two aides as his fire-and-ice counselors.

no you're right, it fucks up the central kirk-spock-mccoy dynamic (uhura kinda picks up some of the slack for mccoy, but not substantially), where kirk mediates the middle road between spock and bones. they could still do that if they wanted to though, the actors are definitely up for the job

bruce greenwood's absurdly good as pike, too bad he died.

Spock stole his katra so they can still implant it back in his body rejuvenated on talos iv.

ROBOCOP NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

― the late great, Sunday, May 19, 2013 1:23 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I swear by all that is holy I turned to my wife and said exactly this in the theater when Khan squished his head.

lol

Thought it was kinda funny the way Khan was always trying to crush people's heads with his hands. Reminded me of Macgruber only having that one throat-rip move and relishing every chance to use it on a bad guy.

― lego maniac cop (latebloomer), Friday, May 17, 2013 11:15 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/5892/323121-headcrusher_706230_super.jpg

http://cdn2.cagepotato.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/StoryofRiki_RikiOh_headcrush.gif

i'm a doctor not a torpedo technician

scb

IMDB:

Details
Country:
USA
Language:
English | Klingon

Feel like I would have enjoyed it more if I didn't have to read the subtitles. Maybe it's time to brush up my Klingon.

QAPLA'!!!

sights of Kirk making it with alien chicks and Tribbles abound, but Gene Roddenberry’s vision of a future that prizes brains over brawn is ignored in favor of boisterous action and a seeming pride in its lack of thought. “I thought we were explorers,” Scotty (Simon Pegg) protests as Kirk casually has the Enterprise outfitted for war, speaking on behalf of fans. But then, when the film opens with a flippant violation of Starfleet’s unbreakable law, the Prime Directive, those who expected to see something at least tangentially related to a franchise they love have likely resigned themselves by this point.

http://moviemezzanine.com/a-second-pair-of-eyes-star-trek-into-darkness-stumbles-blindly/?fb_source=pubv1

Weird TOS callbacks/refs I noticed:

- The ship that Kirk and crew take to the surface of Kronos is referred to as having been picked up during "the Mudd incident." Benedict Cumberbatch as Harry Mudd might've been fun.

- When they approach Kronos, the Klingon moon Praxis is already all jacked up, which doesn't happen in the "original" timeline until Star Trek VI.

i still cant get over vahid deriding urban for being a ham when he's in a movie derived from a tv show centered around william shatner.

It's hard to recall from 2013, but though a camp factor was detectable in much of Shat's thesping on the original series, he wasn't the postmodern icon of (self-) derision he's become post-SNL, post-Henry Rollins duets....

(It's true the first of his LPs came out while the series was on, but I think they were heard by the few.)

i'm totally on the grumps' side here but i have now seen more than two reviewers be pretty disingenuous about the inviolability of the prime directive

otm. Seem to recalled that it was widely derided as a third season plot device that was needed because they were running out of good stories, which usually ended up being kinda sorta nudge nudge violated by the end of the episode anyway. But not at the beginning of the episode. Also, aerodynamically speaking, is the Enterprise meant to fly through atmospheres not to mention underwater. I mean it's not the Batmobile.

Hey, those different timelines.

yeah the things they have the enterprise doing in this really annoyed me. why on earth would the freaking enterprise be able to just chill out underwater. it reminds me of that futurama gag:

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Good Lord! That's over 5000 atmospheres of pressure!
Fry: How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well, it was built for space travel, so anywhere between zero and one.

also the trivializing of the transporter and of warp speed

Also, aerodynamically speaking, is the Enterprise meant to fly through atmospheres not to mention underwater.

Yeah, I figured that's why the first line after we see it underwater was Scotty hanging a big lampshade over the whole concept. Definitely ridiculous, either way. Did they even explain why it had to hide underwater rather than in, er, space?

For a really cool reveal shot. D'OH.

Also, aerodynamically speaking, is the Enterprise meant to fly through atmospheres not to mention underwater.

Not only flying in atmosphere but spotted by 20th century fighter pilots in the TOS episode "Tomorrow is Yesterday."

http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media/images/200705/tos-021-cockpit-view/320x240.jpg

http://tos.trekcore.com/gallery/albums/1x19/Tomorrow_is_Yesterday_043.JPG

Is that the one with Gary Seven and Teri Garr?

No, that's "Assignment: Earth."

it's earlier. i like the part where they're like WHEN ARE WE??? and someone turns on a radio and the first thing they hear is "the first manned moon shot is scheduled for saturday!" and they turn it off and say WE MUST BE IN... THE LATE 1960S

then nobody mentions the moon again!

coulda just heard Tiny Tim on the radio

Ha.

Yes, "Assignment: Earth". Think they was supposed to be flying in the upper atmosphere and somebody shopped in a lot of clouds
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomorrow_Is_Yesterday

Various exterior shots of the Enterprise, either in the Earth's atmosphere, or orbiting, have been enhanced with more cloud and landscape detail including the appearance of the Moon

Still, based on what the Apollo missions went through, any atmosphere is asking a lot of the ship's delicate hull.

i also like whenever they land on a planet and spock says like fascinating. the inhabitants seem to have reached a technological level roughly equivalent to that of mid-20th-century earth.

trek 09 had the enterprise being put together on the ground, right, as opposed to spacedock? so i guess it can handle an atmosphere. but then, that was outrageous too. water, though, yes. kirk is batman.

does it go underwater in the voyage home? seems like if this were canon that'd be where.

http://badassdigest.com/2012/12/11/a-scientist-explains-why-the-enterprise-cant-go-underwater/

kessell run/parsecs example there exactly the right one

Basically the same thing but I like the title: http://www.blastr.com/2012/12/real-life-scotty-says-tre.php

It was a klingon bird of prey in voyage home but ebert also thought a spaceship flying in the atmosphere was dubious till nimoy explained it to him

I saw this last night. I was right there with it for 3/4 of the movie, bought in hook line & sinker

*trying not to be spoilery here*
That last 1/4 took me right out of the movie. I knew exactly what was coming & I was annoyed that I knew. And no JJ Abrams, you can't just do that and expect me to cry. Why? BECAUSE I DID THAT ALREADY.

Mr Veg is a much bigger Trek fan than me, & he enjoyed it. But he can compartmentalize better than I can...and he doesnt get all Andy Rooney about stupid things like I do :)
He noticed the Praxis thing too.

That being said, I love the main cast, I think they were as good in this one as the first movie. I just had more beef with the ending, same as every JJ movie.

Nu-Kirk slipping in "it's been... Fun" would have won me over.
also thought there would be a double twist at the end revealing cgi young montalbans face in one of the other cryotubes -- surprise! Real khan still sleeping!

lol

lol that would have been awesome

quite like Benjamin Cumberbund

*liked

i liked Cumby but the movie's conception of khan was so dreary. they just turned the gravitas up to 11 and had him stand around and glower a lot while delivering exposition. hence the phone call to leonard nimoy that only served to tell the audience 'wait no, khan's a great villain, trust us'

i agree about the last 1/4 though. the reversal of WoK didnt sit well with me, though the actors really sold it nicely, and then they made it worse by tacking on that noisy chase sequence. and then they immediately un-killed Kirk, which was so cheap

yep

Well, I mean they lampshaded the shit out of it, though. It couldn't have come as a surprise to anyone.

it wasnt a surprise. it was just eyerolling & kind of annoying

I really wanted to have them pan back over with McCoy and have there be a shit-ton of tribbles, though.

i know right?

Quadrotriticale callback ended up on the cutting room floor.

great, now I can add "lampshading" to "callback," "meta" and "unpacking" to my new online course Be a Critic with Just Four Easy Crutches!

cool post

i was all in until they brought kahnberbunch to the brig. i kept waiting for the klingons to return. those suits of armor were awesome

how much Milton/Melville quoting?

none

well see, he ain't Khan then

The reversal worked okay for me - one of the things about the reboot is that they've jettisoned all the hippy stuff, the great bird of the galaxy and such, so they can't exactly remake The Search For Spock.

Also it's a different context, it's not "Oh they've taken a brave leap by killing a member of the cast now that the franchise has finished", the films are the franchise.

So if there's going to be the scene, then there's going to be a bullshit resurrection, in which case it makes more sense for it to be Kirk, because learning.

Search for Kirk definitely a viable option for sequel if that awful time ribbon from generations happened to stop by.
Also did they rip off helicopter capo massacre from godfather iii?!

Nimoy Spock going "every time I think I'm out they PULL me back in" would have made that work

http://io9.com/star-trek-into-darkness-the-spoiler-faq-508927844

Yeah, he sets off the cold fusion bomb and all the lava freezes.

xxp I thought of Godfather III also during that scene

I thought of Little Steven.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/movies/news/a483489/star-trek-into-darkness-writer-sorry-for-alice-eve-underwear-scene.html

Lindelof, a frequent JJ Abrams collaborator, recently said that there was "a very good answer" as to why Eve stripped off but didn't reveal it.

Just like the polar bear, asshole. The island wanted 5 seconds of her semi-naked.

laaaame

You know what the worst outrage is? That the Klingons don't look like swarthy smooth-foreheaded dudes with killer goatees. WHA' HAPPENED, CONTINUITY?

this was explained when Data's grandad made his own mini khans and the Klingons got jealous and injected themselves with khan juice but instead of making superklingons it turned some of them smooth headed but not everyone. I'm not making this up.

yeah, glad i skipped out on enterprise

I was grossed out by the thought of Kirk and Chapel together.

i liked when people would ask worf about the forehead thing and he'd say klingons didn't talk about it.

lol otm

what was up with all their forehead piercings in this one though, i was not a fan

Well they couldn't very well show their Prince Alberts in a PG-13 movie, now could they?

Prince Kangs i think they call em

hahahaha

Lotsa fun and lotsa stupid in this movie.

I agree with the sentiment expressed elsewhere that Mass Effect is more a Star Trek experience than the JJA flicks are

The RedLetterMedia guys make a lotta great points in this:

http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-star-trek-into-darkness/

the memory alpha graphic for Section 31 shows PRESIDENT WILLIAM SADLER

http://images.wikia.com/memoryalpha/en/images/6/65/Section_31_operatives.jpg

Also, you can clearly pick out a person from the crowd and track him from orbit. The ship's cameras can do that but apparently the transporters can't, but they can put a person atop a transport moving at high speed but not pull out the two people located a meter away from the coordinates you just beamed someone to.

Cold fusion involves cold things, right? So we can just freeze things with it! Otherwise it wouldn't be called 'cold'!

Spock is unemotional until he isn't. And back again.

Every Trek movie from 7 on needs to end the same way, with the captain of the ship fighting the villain hand to hand because how else are movies supposed to end? There's no possible other conclusion. The captain has to fight malcolm mcdowell, or the bald alice krige, or bald f murray abraham, or a bald thomas hardy, or a bald eric bana.

http://i.imgur.com/jaoa5pX.gif

Also, I saw Fast & Furious 6 a coupla days later. Guess which film had far less dumb and out-of-character stuff go in it.

LOL

Seeing this tonight at the drive-in, which seems the most appropriate place ever.

i thought this was fun, but i also was glad i saw it in 3d at the imax because the bombardment of lens flare and explosion particles COMING RIGHT AT YOU distracted me from thinking too hard about the plot and stuff. but ew at kirk listening to the beastie boys in bed with two tailed alien women, his seduction technique is to play the ladies a shitty remix of a 200 year old song? what kind of future is this?

it's like when college students play chix vivaldi in their dorms

Oh my god this could not have been more boilerplate.

I mean, mediocrity is just the worst. No one makes a bad movie on purpose. But a totally safe, run of the mill, dull, boilerplate product like this piece of perfunctory craftsmanship? They made every cynical effort to make this as generic as possible. I think I liked the last one, but this was so lame.

Like, why waste all this fucking time on dead Kirk or will Kirk die of radiation poisoning, not just because the movie fucking starts (after the "Raiders of the Lost Ark" cold open) with the revelation of a cure for cancer, but because he's fucking Kirk in a prequel to a series and series of films in which he was not dead.

Also, so much needles wheel-spinning exposition/explanation.

Kirk: I'm going to fly through space;
Scotty: But that is dangerous, space is cold and you could die!

You think?

I almost walked out when they disarmed the missile counting down to zero by just saying screw it and pulling out all the wires. I was like, is this a Lethal Weapon movie? And no one knew the bad admiral had a hot daughter who was also a heavily credentialed scientist? Etc.

This would have been an awesome movie to go to drunk, with friends. Or better yet, just skip and stay home, drunk, with friends. Or best, stay home.

Man, I need a drink.

Zack Quinto is really good, though, for all the stupidity he's in.

He does seem to be acting, yes, and he's one of the few characters whose shitty make-up was not totally distracting, ironic, given he's the most made-up. Also, is he the only one in this movie without distracting blazing blue eyes?

Uh, this is not actually a prequel - you know, what with the old Spock and the different Khan? - though obviously that doesn't make the death any more plausible.

The only thing with Quinto is those ears are weirdly puffy. They distract me

This is not a prequel only in the time travel nerd sense. This movie is set before the other shit with the same characters, but younger. Prequel enough for me.

Ha, just watched the Red Letter Media takedown (which blames the writing for everything, basically) and I (like one of them) didn't even discern the inanity of injecting human blood into a tribble.

I am sorry that nerds are upsetting you, Josh. After the precautions you took - posting on a message board about Star Trek - that must be especially galling.

The actors are about the same age as original Star Trek though - do you mean the, eh, star-date is earlier in these films than the originals? I confess that's the sort of detail I often miss.

I'm a total nerd and love nerd stuff. Let's just say it sucks and leave it at that. Barely need to go into details as to why this was so bad. The nerd details just make it more fun, since all the misbegotten nerd details the movie gets wrong it did just to appease Trekked, in the most facile and lazy way possible.

This movie is not a prequel in any meaningful sense, time travel nerdy or otherwise.

If we're getting into the nerd weeds, it's a reboot. Like, you wouldn't call Batman Begins a prequel, even though it deals with Batman's origin story.

didn't the first of the Tim Burton Batman films deal with the beginnings of the Batman story? that isn't a prequel to.. i dunno, that big screen spin off from the telly show from the 60s is it?

Well, this movie isn't just a reboot, because it explicitly features younger versions of well-established characters at an earlier stage we'd never seen before. Every Batman tale begins with the beginning, the origin story. That origin story has been retold again and again, over and over, different ways. These Trek films, however, take place in the same universe as the other Trek stuff. It's not retelling something familiar in a new way, it's extending the timeline to back before that stuff Trek later did. Old Spock, with Old Spock experiences, pops up and talks to young Spock. That's different. A reboot would not have had the Old Spock time travel element that these films have.

As someone else put it, it's both, really: a prequel to appease the old fans and a reboot to attract new, more casual moviegoers.

requel

preboot

poopboot

Trekking the piss.

Not warring now but curious - wasn't it underlined a bit in the first film that the stuff that Old Spock remembers isn't now going to happen?

But he remembers that khan is dangerous, which is about all he says really

Which I thought was dumb and lazy-ass screenwriting. They needed a Voice of God-type just to come out and tell the audience that "oh yeah, he's real bad."

Yeah, that was weird, especially since Khan, while well-known to folks, was not their most dangerous adversary. That's another example of this film's laziness. They dramatically reveal it's Khan - KHHHAAAAAAN - but that not only would mean nothing to young Kirk et al., but it has very little bearing on the plot. It's just a familiar name to hedge bets with lesser fans while appeasing the hardcore. Obviously things are playing out slightly different than they did in other (future) Trek, but I think that's just laziness, too - they get to connect it with Trek mythology byt can be fishy with the chronology as it suits them.

You know, I think I must have blinked and missed how/why Old Spock popped up in this one at all.

And then what was with the end basically mirroring "Wrath of Khan?" That went slightly beyond homage, didn't it? The radiation room, the hands on the glass, etc.

My fave bits in the Red Letter Media review is when they address all of Spock's annoying inconsistency, not least that he is always talking about cold logic, but he spends most of this movie angry, annoyed or crying. Emo Spock.

http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-star-trek-into-darkness/

I liked this one, actually, because they concede this is well made and well acted, at least well enough, then procede to illustrate all that's wrong with it. One o the guys even recommends it after ripping on it for an hour. Though of course this is nowhere near as iconic as their take-down of the last Trek. "Case of the Not-Gays" is a meme that should have taken off.

but because he's fucking Kirk in a prequel to a series and series of films in which he was not dead.

NAAAAAAAAAAAH, that was "Kirk Prime"

Star Trek Into Rehash

You know, I think I must have blinked and missed how/why Old Spock popped up in this one at all.

It's just Spock opening a communication to (All-new) Vulcan home planet. Old Spock says OH as you all know I can't tell you anything - EXCEPT he was one of our most dangerous adversaries and we were only able to vanquish him by great personal sacrifice, while pointing at Spock, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, drawing a finger across his throat.

I enjoyed the movie in spite of the script; mainly because the cast is so much fun in their roles. Can we please not let Damon Lindelof near a keyboard again?

xp lol great description andrew

Tomorrowland is an upcoming science fiction film directed, co-written, and produced by Brad Bird and produced and co-written by Damon Lindelof.[2][3] It stars George Clooney, with Hugh Laurie as the primary villain.[4]

Like a tiny drop of black fluid, fatal to all he encounters...

I enjoyed the movie in spite of the script; mainly because the cast is so much fun in their roles.

Yeah, this.

Also because it looked great. I mean, apart from the horizontal blue lens flare lines in front of everyone's eyes, and the out of focus corners of objects in the foreground of dialogue scenes to go "LOOK DEPTH OF FIELD".

OK, maybe it didn't look great.

it did look great!

I kind of don't know what people were expecting from this movie.

Sex.

In fairness, people may have been expecting something more like the series - exciting new societies, exotically-coloured babes, philosophical quandaries.

Which is what we got, for the first 10 minutes.

expecting vs. wanting.

In fairness, people may have been expecting something more like the series - exciting new societies, exotically-coloured babes, philosophical quandaries.

Given both the pre-release talk floating around about this movie and the trailers, I don't see how you could have realistically expected that from the movie.

I also read some people on Facebook wailing about the militarization of Starfleet, which in the movie was played as an expressly Bad Thing driven by one semi-obsessed dude, which made me wonder if the people doing the wailing actually stayed in the theater longer than 20 minutes.

Scottie = the voice of bemused fans in the movie.

A rreeeeaally irritating voice tho

I was expecting something more than half-assed. Lindelof, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me every time after that, shame on you, because you suck, and your career is absolutely proof (again) that Hollywood couldn't care less about story. Again, I defer to the Red Letter guys, but movies like this are just stuff happening, and the script exists just to get you to the next stuff happening. Totally cynical, because it really wouldn't take much effort to make this movie and movies like it just a little bit better (see: Iron Man 3, which at least made an effort). It's really amazing to me, because these movies cost $200 million, but the fixes are all in the words and non-FX scenes and would cost, like, pennies to clean up. It's like the product of National Novel Month or whatever. Write write write whoops out of time what have I got? Good enough, we'll just go with it and drop in some Trek lore/recognizable names.

to make the movies better you'd really have to throw out everything, though.
like killing off the entire Nu-trek cast and being the adventures of capt pike and Scotty's oyster sidekick.

In fairness, people may have been expecting something more like the series - exciting new societies, exotically-coloured babes, philosophical quandaries.

OTM. This is what I like about Star Trek. TBF, the movies have never had much of that stuff, but that's why the TV show is a better medium for the series.

The problem with this Star Trek is not just that it's not like the series, but because it also fails on its own terms as an action movie for being absolutely half-assed in every regard save its set pieces, which just ... happen in service of a non-story. Like, Spock beams down to chase Khan to get his blood to save Kirk, even though back on the ship they have 72 more frozen super-people - right? - full of lifesaving blood. But no, gotta get Spock to hit him a bunch on a flying ship.

tbf Spock went down for revenge, not to save Kirk

yes, the other frozen super people is plot hole.. sort of. i can't get... too worked up about it honestly

Because of ds9 backstory, augments like khan are known to have unpredictable powers, so the other sleepers could have laser vision but no wolverine blood

That was my biggest complaint as well; there are several good handwaves (Khan is the only one that they know for sure has the regenerative ability based on the Tribble test; they don't want two murderous superhumans running around; whatever you want) but there wasn't enough of a foundation to justify one as the story's intent behind the confrontation.

That was the only thing in the story that really bothered me; I don't see how it reads as half-assed tbh (it isn't particularly clever or original, mind you).

josh nailing it itt

there is an original series episode where everyone thinks Spock is blinded for life by this tanning bed cure for a parasite.
then Spock says oh you know what I'm not blind after all because I have another eyelid, which I forgot about because vulcans sometimes forget things. Also we don't have sunglasses in the 23rd century.

It's half-assed because it's fueled by shorthand. Why would Spock complain about violating the prime directive when even being on the planet violates the prime directive? Why does Uhuru hang with an ass like Spock? Why did they throw in that random shot of the woman in her undies? (Nu Trek has a case of the Not-Gays). Etc. These aren't plot holes, per se, just lazy half-assary. Toss in enough stuff that people recognize whether it makes sense or not. Like freezing the volcano via cold fusion, not because it makes a lick of sense, but clearly just because it has the word "cold" in it. Testing the human blood on Tribbles, not because that makes a lick of sense, but just to bring up Tribbles. Thawing out a superhuman who had been frozen in cyro for 300 years to put his mind to work on technology 3 centuries down the line? Khan somehow sneaking 70 people into torpedo pods knowing (?) the crazy admiral will load them into the Enterprise to chase him to the Klingon planet where it will fire the people-pods to Khan? Super genius Khan hanging out in hospital, waiting for a Starfleet mark with a dying kid he can convince to blow something up for him? Surely Khan could have figured that one out himself. Compare that to Iron Man 3, where Tony Stark is all, screw it, goes to Home Depot, builds a bunch of MacGuyver stuff and takes out the Mandarin mansion single-handed. And so on.

Like, this is a movie where they explicitly say they no longer use cyro, then later on Bones tells the crew to put Kirk in cyro. The movie just does not give a shit. Red Letter Media catches that they mention a forgotten nurse who had transferred to the other side of the galaxy to get away from Kirk, even though that character is mentioned as part of the crew in the previous film. It blows my mind when movies make such a massive effort and then drop the ball on the easy stuff. Like, some semblance of continuity or motivation or consistency.

Also, it's Star Trek, dammit, so the devil is in the details.

Why does Uhuru hang with an ass like Spock?

You're right, this is scientifically impossible.

half-violating prime directive to save the species but to not be recognized was the premise of a tng episode with bob goldthwaits wife.
why did nurse chapel pine for ass-Spock?
undie marcus presumably changing into spacesuit.
cold fusion I got nothing
tribbles as guinea pigs isn't new
augments as military think tank established in ds9
Etc etc basically all this half-assed stuff has already been established as acceptable trek-ass

RE: the cryo (ps: lol @ u, how half-assed) thing, didn't Bones explicitly say "take one of the popsicles out of his cryo tube and stick Jim in it before his brain turns to mush"? Also, how is it a plot failure to have a character mentioned in one movie transfer out of the crew by the second?

I mean, no one said you had to like these things in the story but they don't actually appear to be half-assed or plot failures...?

Also, half of your rage appears to be based on the mistaken assumption that ppl liked this movie more than Iron Man 3?

This level of critique ignores the problems- the movie was overplotted and messily thrown together. Individual plot threads, logical or otherwise, werent really the issue (except for anything with a message)

Wait so which is it, was the movie half-assed or was it overdone?

It was both! KAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNN!

He's right, it was both.

The entire foundation of the nuboots is overdone half-assery which is bad I agree
But the nuboots wouldn't exist otherwise

I mean, come on, like I said, this movie actually features a hot weapons expert/scientist trying ti disarm a bomb with a ticking clock who just gives up and yanks out all the wires at the last second. There's no fucking excuse for that to exist in a $200 million movie with an A-list director and A-list writer in 2013 save the absolutely pinacle/nadir of laziness.

I remember when a friend of mine saw "Attack of the Clones" and warned me it was dreadful. How bad? I asked. Well, he answered. It actually begins with a ship landing, then people emerging saying "whew, that was a close one!" and then the ship blows up behind them.

Just no fucking excuse.

http://i.imgur.com/RLZVUvu.jpg

Come on, dude, it's a Star Trek movie. These movies are why comic book guy exists.

i'll grant you that it would be more in keeping with trek for kirk to argue the bomb into disarming itself. i disagree that there is some a-list standard that is not being met. was simon pegg in mission impossible somehow smarter?

Got no prob with Pegg in this, actually.

You're making these movies for Star Trek fans. The ur-fanboy. And if you're not making it for them, why are you making these movies at all? Answer: you're just leaning on the franchise as a lazy shorthand crutch. The standard I was hoping would be met would be somewhere above the bare minimum, because why else bother?

You're making these movies for Star Trek fans. The ur-fanboy.

I think I see where your thesis is going off the rails.

^^^ yes

"Gentlemen, I want you to spend $200 million making a movie for as limited a fanbase as you can possibly delineate! Super-hardcore fans only - that should ensure we show red on the books in perpetuity!"

Couldnt be less interested in them making a 'good star trek movie' vs a good star trek movie

I enjoyed this about as much as I enjoyed The Mummy and processed it pretty much the same way; it's a fluffy entertainment piece with some cool effects/fights in it. I've never really watched Star Trek to satiate my need for philosophy so the cursory nods towards it in this movie didn't offend me.

I already said the film fails on its own terms. The Trek stuff, half-assessed lip-service to the super-hardcore, just makes it worse. It's totally legit to dumb something down for the masses. But why go out of your way to make it dumber than it has to be? I know no one is comparing this favorably to Iron Man 3, but Iron Man 3 and its ilk show you can make smart dumb movies that play big/wide and still satisfy the hardcore.

I enjoyed this about as much as I enjoyed The Mummy

Talk about a low-threshold.

By that standard, I liked it better than The Mummy.

Unlike most of the posters here, I generally go into movies looking for things I can enjoy rather than things I can criticize. *shrug*

josh, you probably don't want to step into the Iron Man 3 thread

Oh, I was there!

I don't go into movies looking to criticize, tbh. I wouldn't have seen this is I didn't want to see it. But as I mentioned upthread, there's a certain strain of mediocrity that I was not expecting from this (see: ticking timebomb disarming scene) that really gets under my skin.

I went to see it cos the first was a great looking blast.

I liked the last one, too!

wasn't there a similar timebomb disarming scene in MI?
the last one was bad in about exactly the same ways the new one was bad.

Neither was my favorite movie of the year but I found them both entertaining enough that I didn't regret watching them.

And what else can you ask from a movie, really?

Other than that Dan is entertained and doesn't regret watching it.

Hell, the opening credits of M:I the show begins with a lit, burning fuse. I expect that from Mission:Impossible, which might as well be called "Mission: Stop the Ticking Timebomb." Didn't necessarily expect to see that generic trope, especially with no twist or turn at all, pop up here.

tbh i really don't get why you would like the first one and hate the second, they both have more or less the same flaws, but the second one is a little more focused

Nhex OTM

The bare minimum I expect from a summer movie is that Dan is entertained.

Hmm, I guess because I felt the first one served its purpose - introducing new cast, re-introducing old characters - well enough, whereas this one served no purpose? It re-established that young Kirk is a brash renegade who bucks the rules, and that Spock is his bud for some reason?

xxp the twist and turn is that the bomb is full of people

The Soylent Green bomb.

This one appeared to me to be about the maturation/assimilation of Kirk; at the end of the first one and the beginning of this one, he is still an establishment-questioning maverick. He gets pulled into a shady part of the establishment when his mentor is killed, rediscovers his moral compass after practically his entire senior crew yells at him, and then spends most of the rest of the movie fighting to keep Starfleet from turning into a war engine pointed at the Klingons and oriented on its original mission of exploration and surveying, culminating in him making the ultimate sacrifice to save his crewmembers from dying due to his earlier rash decisions and, after his resurrection, being tapped as the spokesperson most representative of Starfleet's ideals. The movie starts with everyone questioning Kirk's fitness for command and the events of the movie are a crucible in which he realizes his potential; now the story of their years-long exploration mission as originally chronicled by TOS can begin with a Kirk that is more similar to Shatner's portrayal than the cool pretty rebel thumbing his nose at authority every chance he's gotten that these new movies presented to us.

Waiting for the Phase II fan series production of the "Kitumba" episode of the original unproduced Phase II Star Trek series to show us how to have the crew of the Enterprise boldly go to the Klingon homeworld.

xpost Sure, I'll buy that.

Still shoddy and half-assed, because it wants it both ways and falls short on both fronts.

I'd agree it fails in any normal sense but in comparison to other event movies and other Star Trek revivals it comes off OK.
Have you seen enterprise, or that gi joe movie?

it's been a long rooooooooooad getting from here to therrrrre

I'd agree it fails in any normal sense but in comparison to other event movies and other Star Trek revivals it comes off OK.
Have you seen enterprise, or that gi joe movie?

― Philip Nunez, Monday, June 10, 2013

I dunno. Coming off IRON MAN 3 the week prior really highlighted the fundamental contempt for the audience that I suppose we'll eventually think of as The Lindelof Touch.

This one had THEMES the first one had themes

Yep. But Don't be too quick to let JJ "I was never a big Star Trek fan" Abrams off the hook.

(xp)

I forgot everything about the first reboot trek film within days of watching it. This doesn't trouble me.

I don't go into movies looking to criticize, tbh. I wouldn't have seen this is I didn't want to see it.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 10 June 2013 18:23

I went to see it cos the first was a great looking blast.
― posters who have figured how to priv (darraghmac), Monday, 10 June 2013 18:29

I went to it with not great expectations (went with friends who wanted to) because I am not a huge Star Trek fan to begin with and thought the previous one was just ok*, but I thoroughly enjoyed this one, plot was silly and annoying in places but a great looking blast it was indeed

* saw #1 on a small screen and #2 in 3d on a big screen, would probably have liked #1 more on a bigger screen

PS was totally distracted by one scene where Khhhaaaaanberbatch was talking but his hairline was offscreen and from the forehead down he looked unnervingly like Data. maybe I just need new glasses

Yep. But Don't be too quick to let JJ "I was never a big Star Trek fan" Abrams off the hook.

― schwantz, Monday, June 10, 2013

Ha. To keep it simple I actually deleted a parenthetical that began "which is not to let Abrams off the hook..." He's like the anti-Whedon.

He's so middlebrow it's dizzying. He's like Spielberg if Spielberg were just a studio gun for hire. But middlebrow can seal the deal if the words are right. Lindelof's track record of shoddy, sloppy, contemptuous work speaks for itself.

I mean, man:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/21/damon-lindelof-alice-eve-underwear-scene-star-trek_n_3314471.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_qxcafA9Ws

Have you seen enterprise, or that gi joe movie?

I want to see that GI Joe movie!

It has Jinx in it!

is that really a plus?

DUH!

you don't want to see that gi joe movie!

You're not the boss of me!

Rachel Nicholls in leather- check

Nice one Huffington Post. A discussion about whether an underwear scene is gratuitous with a picture at the top that is, er, gratuitous.

Every piece addressing the same thing uses the same still. I jus assume, per H. Post, that they just took the idea/graphic from someone else, like Jezebel.

In what way is everything else in this move not gratuitous

still probably part of movie press package

Rachel Nicholls in leather- check

I'm talking about the sequel, not the first one. Or did you just spoil me? Next, you're going to say that Channing Tatum's character was originally like off in the first act but the film was reshot with him in it, causing half a year's delay!

SW shit talk got me to thinking about this one and what an uninspired movie this is, albeit with some impressive FX. but i mean everything has impressive FX so whatever. cannot believe the laziness of just repurposing and flipping the script on the wrath of khan ending, it's probably worse fan service than anything i saw in the SW prequels. i'll give lucas this much, the prequels weren't lazy.

laziest thing of all - movie ends with 20 minute fistfight (is why superman sucked as well)

The lazy TNG movies all ended with fistfights or one-on-one gun battles with the captain vs the baddie

I think Training Day was the first movie I saw to be scuppered by the modern malady of "We don't know how to end the movie, let's just fight for 20 minutes, way beyond a point where actual human beings would be dead or at least have sustained serious brain damage".

Never bothered seeing this after all.

well if you're ever hard up for lens flares, it's got some

laziest thing of all - movie ends with 20 minute fistfight (is why superman sucked as well)

This was like the final nail in the coffin that proved that Abrams and his crew don't know or care about Star Trek at all... If you really think you should end a Star Trek movie with a lengthy fistfight between the good guy and the baddie, you shouldn't be directing it. Even more than the previous one, this felt like a generic SF action movie with a bit of Star Trek frosting and fanservice on top. So it's a good thing Abrams left for Star Wars (which his action-oriented approach suits much better), let's just hope whoever replaces him will have some idea of what makes ST special.

he's been replaced by Roberto Orci. The only way is down

Yeah, looking at Orci's filmography, it doesn't sound good.

I liked that it showed a lot of Earth, which we haven't seen much of in previous Trek series.

otherwise THPPTPHTPHPHHPH

re Orci: another case of everyone involved with Transformers getting credit for its success, said success being due to having big shiny toy robots smashing shit.

there are many non-treky things in it but khan fistfight is canon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OxIrADjiHo

Almost every ST movie from '94 on ends with either a fistfight or a one-on-one gun battle between the captain and the main baddie. So the films' descent into what RedLetterMedia's Mike Stoklasa has termed "action schlock" reached back into the Berman/Braga era.

Star Trek is one of those things where it's infuriating to be a fan of due to the wide gulf of what it can be v. how they often manage to either piddle it away or fuck it up royally.

It's one of things where the greatest examples of what it should be doing are instead done by others either mocking it, or who grew up obsessed and are making their own version

i.e. Galaxy Quest, Mass Effect 2

again, though, star trek iii ends with <spoilers> kirk booting christopher lloyd into a volcano. action schlock is built into ST DNA.
it's the absence of anything else that makes nu-trek not-trek.

Am I the only person here whose memories of TOS are 80% Kirk alternating between boning aliens and punching/phasering the shit out of someone shortly after saying "we are peaceful observers"?

yeah, kirk dropped about 150 double axe handles in TOS alone

haha xpost

I have the sneaking suspicion that the ppl complaining that there's too much fighting in the new movies are actually mad that nu-Kirk doesn't spend 45 minutes sexing up aliens

haha apparently we went down this road before:

I kind of don't know what people were expecting from this movie.

― they are either militarists (ugh) or kangaroos (?) (DJP), Monday, June 10, 2013 11:10 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Sex.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, June 10, 2013 11:13 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The second TOS pilot (the first TOS episode with Kirk in it) ends with Kirk having a fist fight with a superhuman.

The TOS episode where they go to the 'leisure park planet' has an extended sequence where Kirk beats the shit out of a guy who used to bully him as a cadet. Having fistfights with people is what Kirk thinks about for relaxation.

The best summary of the Orci-era I think we might hve even mentioned on this thread, that this is Star Trek for people who hate Star Trek.

I think Abrams w/this series is crippled both by the terror of trying anything new (from all the performances that are just faint echoes of the ones in TOS to stories that are winking to previously told ones) as well as the inability to do anything that feels like it belongs in the ST universe. plus the fact that so many previous treks were filled with actual lived-in adults (and william shatner) performing the roles as opposed to a bunch of walking airbrush examples (and Simon Pegg.) plus I think one of the things proven with previous trek series and films was that this story universe is pretty welcoming to new groups of characters and stories, like its entirely possible for a good filmmaker to come up with something fresh which is why this kind of reboot is more than a little disappointing. And it also possesses almost zero intelligence while previous treks have at least given the impression that there was something going on beyond all the phasers and fistfights and earwigs and spaceship battles.

also I think Abrams is crippled by being actually a pretty bad filmmaker. and his use of two skateboard comeback era beastie boys tracks in the films as music cues for Kirk seems hopelessly dated and corny.

i keep, probably intentionally, forgetting that he did that

beastie boys in a star trek movie. ffs.

Kirk is clearly a Filter dude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZJczZ6gbVU

But I think this works as a bit of comedy, and "Look how cool our awesome and cool hero is!!!1"

Correction: And NOT how cool our hero is, etc

mccoy got his name from his fervent bone thugs fandom.

bone,thugs,thou-shalt-do-no-harmony

dammit Jim I'm a spin doctor

dude you're writing to a guy who probably gives his own children treasure maps and a pair of plane tickets to find their christmas presents

jesus. simmer the fuck down already

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, December 12, 2012 4:55 PM bookmarkflaglink