sry we're too busy pressing our bodies against naked men to notice how cold it is WINTER THREAD gay homo queer &c 2013

Today I bought a leather baseball cap for $2. This is ridiculous and exciting.

Today I ate crab cake sliders for $7 at Morton's "power hour," then ate baked kibbeh at a Mediterranean joint across the street.

Today I drove out to a private distillery out in the hinterlands and bought an expensive bottle of whiskey for my dad.

$45, since we're naming prices.

hellllooo

still way into my man. gotta make like the klf and chill out. tonight i'm going to some gay clubs with a gay friend who knows all the gays. going to try to enjoy the music and people.

my grandma had a stroke a few nights ago. i saw her last night. she didn't really respond to me except when i said 'she's a tough cookie' and she looked straight at me and said "HA HA HA!"

I have both Angostura and Peychaud, both rye and bourbon, both Dolin and M&R, but only one kind of cocktail cherries.

on my way to provide the wry

yes, leather baseball caps are ridiculous :)

xpost You're nuts if I think I'm offering my cherry in return.

hung out with B all last night and today, he's picking his parents up from the airport in a bit (gulp). i'm probably just gonna stay in tonight and watch some movies/tv

Just got home to watch Take This Waltz, that ineffable combination of Michelle Williams-Seth Rogen.

the other night i had one of those nights where you wake up at 3 a.m. and your mind is throwing rocks at stuff for two hours. i saw myself as a kid, watching a movie with my cousins. the movie starts and my attention wanders, then i remember i'm watching a movie. i didn't like watching movies as a kid, i was always playing behind the couch ten minutes after the tape started, or playing with my casio. i would still just about do anything other than watch a tv or a movie on tv, even if it's something i really want to see. going out to the theater to see something is ok, only if i really want to see it though.

<3 to you and your grandma, matt.

i might have got a job assisting a very high profile american stage designer on two shows in europe. i went for an interview and she was great and loved my work and the production manager emailed me to ask for my phone number but i was up a ladder when he phoned and missed the call. i listened to the message which said don't phone me back until Xpm but when i did that he was out of the office and won't be contactable until the new year ffs.

Omigod Matt: that sounds like Delmore SchwartZ

oh jed, fingers crossed. thanks alfred!

what schwartz would you recommend?

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Tflv8mBGHL4/ULOB9I5TF5I/AAAAAAAAAfI/VVPwp78wYcM/s1600/schwartz.jpg

oh hey

winter

I saw my bf for the first time in a couple weeks, we slept the night in my childhood room
My grandma's bday today, I lustily led my cop cousins in Christmas carols
Lots of cops in my family it seems

Also I was just commissioned to write a ballet for a national ballet co., now accepting suggestions

score it for harp, viola and flute

Center the libretto (?) around The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

hjsdafj;lsdjhfdshadhjsfhjkdsalflkds;al;dsa

went to the one little gay bar in my hometown where of course the total queen social-butterfly sometimes-friend who unsuccessfully seduce me is there (but we're on pretty good terms at the moment) and he tries to set me up with his friend who is vaguely cute but a total bore. i was having fun for a while but between the dj playing "born this way" and "let's have a kiki" back to back (really????) and friend-of-friend's idea of convo being "don't take this the wrong way, but you seem very straight-acting" i was just like....fuck this, i'm out. now i'm back home way before closing time eating cold cereal.

are you sure he didn't say "str8-acting"

it's the worst

no fucking idea, yeah he probably did ugh

my boy & i had our one year anniversary dinner tonight... it was an amazing meal

i'm gonna be moving to nyc soon so our relationship is gonna be in flux which has been freaking us both out and making me feel super guilty + like a completely terrible person but we're trying to ignore it as best we can for the time being

that's really exciting though! what are you moving to nyc for?

a job, so it's def exciting. stressful though for various reasons but so it goes.

i'm presuming an exciting and secret journalism job. congratz!

i was at club try-angles tonight. there's a bartender who conforms to what i think of as a new local niche of goofy mormon boy as seen in a byu-produced tv spot--really tall and skinny with glasses, sort of napoleon dynamite crossed with the osmond brothers, but with tattoos (?). oh and shirtless, in december in the great basin. really bobbed to the trance when he gave me drinks.

i was with two friends who i fucking love, mauricio and nick, otherwise i wouldn't have enjoyed it.

xp jordan that's awesome

i'm presuming an exciting and secret journalism job. congratz!

― lex pretend, Saturday, December 22, 2012 4:43 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

yes & thx!

that bartender sounds p hot

he was!

probably not as rexburg as you might have him unfortch :(

a joke and i don't know you. im kinda drunk.

lol i didn't get it so don't worry

:)

Good morning!

hi!

"don't take this the wrong way, but you seem very straight-acting"

I've been fine w/ giving this impression my entire adult life, but when it's verbalized I opt to reply "whew! thanks" or "You should see me suck dick."

Canadian cop cousins are hard for me to visualize.

i'm gonna be moving to nyc soon

:o hey!

fuck i'm so tired of chicago

congrats jordan!

j0rdan that sounds rad! When are you moving and do you know what area yr gonna look for housing in?

I can't remember if I posted on the other thread abt this weird quasi-relationship drama I'm having (or had, rather) with this one (partnered and poly) guy who was way more into me than I was into him and was irratoinally jealous of his friend whom I was also seeing, but my friend is going through almost the exact same thing with someone else where it comes down to you telling someone things very directly over and over and them still not fucking getting it and then getting resentful. God, people are such a fucking chore sometimes.

Also the missed connection I posted in DC never answered me back :( we totally had a "moment" too.

some guy on a4a said "you seem like a deep dude"

"don't take this the wrong way, but you seem very straight-acting"

I've been fine w/ giving this impression my entire adult life, but when it's verbalized I opt to reply "whew! thanks" or "You should see me suck dick."

Both excellent replies. I have said something similar to the latter to some of the many straight guys who told me they liked me b/c I "don't act really gay."

I often wonder whether effeminacy would have affected my promiscuity and shall we say ease of passage.

God, people are such a fucking chore sometimes.

i have a rule with people and that is NO DRAMA. take it elsewhere. i literally do not have the time to deal with people who turn these things into fucking soap operas. i swear some people are addicted to it and it's just...EXHAUSTING

http://rlv.zcache.com/too_blessed_to_be_stressed_poster-r8617f580f4e2480cb2d2eb68fad07871_azqbt_400.jpg

"don't take this the wrong way, but you seem very straight-acting"

I've been fine w/ giving this impression my entire adult life, but when it's verbalized I opt to reply "whew! thanks" or "You should see me suck dick."

Both excellent replies. I have said something similar to the latter to some of the many straight guys who told me they liked me b/c I "don't act really gay."

― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Saturday, December 22, 2012 9:35 AM Bookmark

This was a gay dude tho obv. Which kind of surprised me, most straight people are surprised to find out I'm not, but usually gay folks can read the fuck out of me. I don't really care if people take me for straight (they're like 25% right in any case), it's just the phrase "straight-acting", which really skeeves me out and will continue to do so until a large segment of straight dudes start regularly identifying as "gay-acting".

Also, by that point I so did not want to say anything that might give him the impression I wanted to suck his dick.

Drama is life. Sex is death.

j0rdan that sounds rad! When are you moving and do you know what area yr gonna look for housing in?

― nicki mINOJ (Stevie D(eux)), Saturday, December 22, 2012 10:27 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

nah not yet on both accounts

ha -- I've known a couple of gay-acting purportedly straight dudes.

Congrats J0rdan!

On both the job AND the anniversary, that is.

ha -- I've known a couple of gay-acting purportedly straight dudes.

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, December 22, 2012 1:31 PM Bookmark

So have I! But I'm guessing they don't identify as "gay-acting".

They certainly don't. I've seen in recent years "straight-acting" rightfully disappearing from OKCupid profiles.

although a tip-off is a use of "bro" (e.g. "I love chillin with my bros on Friday night").

As in "bro" indicates a straight acting gay guy or a real straight guy? Cause if the latter is true, I encounter way more (annoying) gay guys on a daily basis than I'd previously suspected.

To signify his straight-acting-ness, the gay will use "bro" just as I will occasionally camp just so's people don't mistake me for a straight man.

naw, I understood

I punctuate my sentences with "man" and "dude" a lot, even when I'm talking to women, but really just by force of habit

I used to hook up with a guy who used "bro" a lot, in an unaffected way. It was weird when he called me that, especially when we were making out and such.

God, people are such a fucking chore sometimes.

lex otm. Dump em even if yer pumpin' em. -NO-DRAMA DR MORBORAMA

ha i'm rather surprised that Lex is a NO DRAMA guy! i mean, yeah i know we're not what we seem to be online but drama is one of the things which associate with The Lex!

he saves it for the internetz, like me

ohhh I never understood what "no drama" meant until these last few posts, now I get it

i took out that 'logic of the lure' book from the library just now *glances knowingly at everyone in this thread*

I just looked it up in the NYPL catalog and it's IN-LIBRARY USE ONLY

*nudge nudge*

Or maybe I don't. All the people in my life who say "no drama" are usually the ones who're busy making the most drama? I don't know.

All I know is that I approach most relationship and social activity in a way that is so logical and drama-free that I get roundly accused of being a Vulcan or a robot or I get called Robocop by my shouty dramatic friends. "Why do you always have to be so calm and so right all the time" she screams at me.

Either way Stevie D that sucks, fuck those people. Rad Fae sounds like it makes cool sexy people cooler and sexier, conversely it'll make dudes with hang-ups and self-loathing all the more exhausting and difficult.

I am a little melancholy at my parents' place. I sliced up a five-pound cabbage into a gigantic mess of coleslaw and covered it with pulled pork and served it to my mother and brothers. I've been playing board games and piano and thing, and my youngest brother brewed some mead and it's delicious, but what is it? Why melancholy? Something about being around these future versions of myself when we're all at our lowest energy levels, it's not all that comforting. I'm gonna suggest we spend next Christmas on a hiking trip or something

i think it's the past versions of myself i get depressed about when i go home for the holidays

i'm not sure if i should be thankful my family is nothing like me and vice versa

i think it's the past versions of myself i get depressed about when i go home for the holidays

Oooh, throw out all your old shit esp. yearbooks (or at least put it in storage) it'll clean that feeling right up

Or maybe I don't. All the people in my life who say "no drama" are usually the ones who're busy making the most drama? I don't know.

This has always been the rule.

No drama and hate on are such repulsive phrases -- the worst of all

poor Mary J Blige :(

no, "best singles of [a year after 1998]" is the most repulsive

Just realized how awesome it is for Christmas to fall at the beginning of the work week. Extra days for friends to go out b4 getting on with the family stuff.

can't drink, can't really eat, shd be a great party tonight. After Amour.

Oh Morbs that sucks :(
I hope you can treat yourself to a cute mute nurse

oof. your auntie donna's hung :/

take it to Braggin 2012

;)

>_>

heh, that guy from the other night sent me a friendly-ass facebook message and friend invite as if i didn't quite intentionally make a french exit outta there

Hope he gives you friendly ass, rev!

I'd never heard of a French exit before, only "Irish Goodbye."

Looked it up and learned goodbye. The French themselves call that "filer à l'anglaise" (to leave the English way).

I've never heard "Irish Goodbye"

me neither.

um, so i had a handshake in church w/ a famed bearded blogger. My mitt is sullied.

j0emyg0d?

Yeah I think the "the English way" / "the French exit" goes for both countries calling each other fags, too

about 74 hours til i can return to london, literally counting down the minutes

I am paying the price for having gloated about me and my family being besties, I am having a decidedly stepchildish experience and am looking forward to getting the hell out of here

no, dr. my mitt was SULLIED, git it?

omg

(Pardon the lurk on you guys's thread. Is that literal or slang?)

oh geez that went over my head

now i don't understand Eazy's question.

I decided not to mention to 4ndr3w in that moment that he's rong about everything.

Oh, my question was just whether "I had a handshake in church" was literal or slang. Happy holidays, all.

same to you, and yechhhh I don't do conservatives

I have. Just discuss Saint Ronnie.

I seem to be a magnet for them. Gross.

Sotosyn git some standards

I don't do O-bots either so uhhhh yes nuthin p much

how do you deal w/ anarcho-syndicalists

reacharounds.

;-)

Spent three of the four days after exams huddling in my empty apartment hiding from the universe, watching terrible TV, being a paranoid hypochondriac, and slut-shaming myself over the past four or five months, because tis the season. Haha.

Going to Ottawa for four days to put in the required family time because it's still preferable to being home in Montreal the week that the boy is in town with his mom and step-dad for a week who I never met in two years of dating and was supposed to be spending the holidays with.

slut-shaming yourself?

Slut shaming myself aka in combination with the paranoid hypochondria aka I don't floss enough and have a funny gum thing between two teeth that bled a bit and because I am a anxiety-ridden irrational person after having tallied the... perhaps excessive...number of people I have encountered post-breakup and this summer and after having done a cursory google search about the observed gum thing, I convinced myself of the worst-case scenario for twenty four hours, conveniently when all the STI clinics are closed for the holidays so I can neither confirm nor disprove. Never mind that numbers aside I've been incredibly prudent and never mind that either way there's not much I can do and that either way it's not actually the end of the world. This is what my brain does. Because rationality is not something I do.

Anyway, that's standard operating procedure for me when it's been over three months since my last test. This just had the added bonus of promiscuity.

More importantly, is there a way to balance casual interaction with exes (which is something comfortable and friendly and desired) while signaling to them that you aren't quite ready to be best friends and study together as if there's no history? He was pretty good about space early on but as soon as I signaled comfort with some contact and communication it's gotten very casual-Facebook-message-y and I'm not entirely ready for that tone.

He proudly showed me a picture of the results of a month at the gym dating two weeks back and even two weeks ago he was apparently sporting a six pack and ARMS and shoulders and he was always hot and had a good frame but there's something demoralizing about the fact that I spent the last year of our relationship struggling and failing to get into half-decent shape (aka not even muscle tone, just losing the law school tummy) and that in a month or less he's gone from stunningly attractive in a genetically gifted but approachable after a few drinks human being way even though he never goes to the gym to 'looks like Lou with his shirt off'.

Blah. I don't know. I'm being a self-involved sad sack. I kept it mostly together all semester and somehow got all my coursework done and got a job and now I finally am having time to really have feelings? And while I emphatically do not really want back in the relationship - I can recognize that it wasn't a healthy dynamic for either of us - I finally have time to miss him? And I do. A lot?

I wanted to meet his stupid family at the stupid cottage and go snowshoeing and bring him back to the overwhelming family post-Christmas Jewish dinner thing. On the 29th we are all going to a restaurant where we inevitably argue about politics or family stuff or something and for five years my siblings and step siblings always have had partners with them and I let him skip last year because it was only a year, but it would have been nice to not be the 9th or 11th wheel or whatever. Have someone to have my back when they all inevitably say something ridiculous. Or just not have them all look at me like the sad single one again.

^^ feel you on that last post.

More importantly, is there a way to balance casual interaction with exes (which is something comfortable and friendly and desired) while signaling to them that you aren't quite ready to be best friends and study together as if there's no history?

Time, friend. As banal as it sounds.

NEVER SLUT SHAME YOURSELF EVER

LIKE, EVER

Alex in my experience, every moment of embarrassing sluttiness tends to acquit itself with the benefit of distance. Any good sexual history is going to have some "oh god what I am I doing" feelings. Also, you don't have an STD and even if you did you'll be totally fine

Your ex is a twit and is deliberately trying to make you feel like shit, who sends shirtless pics to their exes? Fuck that.

I'm feeling very much like the stepchild this Christmas and I love my family but there's large a part of me that is soooo happy to fuck back off to inlaws and Montreal in a few hours

who sends shirtless pics to their exes?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUDbSL-5GHQ

(not that it isn't entirely reprehensible in this situation obv!)

90% of the conversations i have with my family involve either me shutting up and gritting my teeth and fake-smiling so as to avert arguing, or...not bothering

36 hours

why can't i have normal left-wing liberal parents like everyone else

alex, all i will say is that from reading yr updates here and on fb u have yr shit together much more than i do. y're a thoughtful and considerate guy and will have a happy and prosperous life.

^ yeah clouds is right, alex u rule. I think you might just be in a post-exam comedown? I'm getting back into town in a couple days let's fuck shit up

@ lex, I feel you but I think it's a grass is greener thing. My Catholic mother-in-law (one of twelve children) apparently just used the word "propagate" to describe a new baby in her Muslim friend's family. I love those crazy cats

by "cats" I mean "my inlaws" not child-bearing Muslims

Ha -- I shared my parental travails last month

I read that as prenatal, ha.

The BIG POSITIVE is that yesterday I convinced the family to forego mashed potatoes for gratin and I will be slicing potatoes all afternoon to make just that

I mean. In his defense I asked for the pic after he mentioned the gym because I am an emotional masochist. The tone is being set in part by me.

Totally post exams comedown. Time for les miz now.

Christmas uneventful here so far; bf is sick and we just did xmas with my parents this morning. His fam tonight, my extended fam tomorrow which the bf will miss cause of his stupid work, which sucks cause he gets along really well with them in a way that makes me feel the most like a part of a normal gay couple than I do in most other situations.

Alex, please feel better. fgti, please fuck shit up with Alex when you get home.

Happy holidays, all.

i'm about to make some cookies and then heading over to B's for friend-and-parent xmas dinner.

his parents like me :)

actually a bit sad to not be with actual family tho. my dad is scheduled for a gastric bypass in a few months and his doctor's instructed him to go small until then (e.g. smaller portions, smaller plates, smaller utensils). so naturally for xmas this year my family bought him a bunch of gag gifts like a child's spiderman dinner tray and some bibs. they're such assholes and i love them.

oh small portions.... poor dad.

In the bosom of Connecticut -- 6-yo dear niecey has new snare drums.

did you buy them for her?

donna, that's awesome -- my family would use the same gags.

Or just not have them all look at me like the sad single one again.

Ugh, so used to this. Hate being chronically single.

it doesn't make a difference if bringing a bf home isn't an option anyway

I would not buy a preternaturally loud child, or anyone, drums. I got her a DVD of Alfonso Cuaron's A Little Princess, which I failed to remember has a presumed-dead WWI dad and other things contemporary suburban children are commonly shielded from.

I am the neuter medicated single one.

a little princess is good

next time he doesn't text back, i'm going BACK to the club. tomorrow night is gay night at necto's. i mean, i know that i'm bad, but i always text back with some stupid excuse - at least. i guess i'm just freaked. i don't know what he's doing.

it isn't like i don't have time tomorrow night, it's semester break.

never mind. i'm being crazy. i just don't know what he's doing. he'll usually text back from work, so, maybe he's asleep? i think he's messing with me.

hi!

that was completely stupid and bitchy. i take it back! (he still hasn't texted).

i'm listening to xiu xiu's cover of "ceremony" for the first time in years, and i don't even like xiu xiu.

hi clouds!!!

whoah. i think i like xiu xiu again. but, i do not like fake gays. no, no.

last text: read by him at 1:15.

don't know what took him so long! i'm gonna go smoke a cigarette and wait for tonight to come together! something's about to happen!

i'm so excited for next semester!

"I know that I don't treat you right. Please text me tomorrow." Sent by me with "Cosmic Dancer" blasting in the background. In an empty building. My life is a soap opera.

I envy those who are slayers of boys.

hahahahaha. he didn't even read, like, my last three texts. he's either asleep or working.

he's paying for this tomorrow!

can't explain. but all turned out well. he couldn't come over tonight, anyway. i'm still cleaning, and a little drunk - !

hi boy slayer!

why hello! i am, now, all REVVED UP!

ok. come on, come on. it's like, 3 in the morning. everyone drink with me, unload melodramatic wrinklepaws sex drama. yes, yes.

come on, i'm like, the gay lou-jagg. entertain me, yr turn. everyone!

hiya

it's 8am and i'm drinking coffee, checking the first results of the 2013 tennis season, listening to the new pantha du prince album, fucking loving being back in london, got nothing to do today except go for a run and maybe start my tax return and then get drunk with friends. melodrama is bad 4 u

oh my gosh.! i just want to be in london! ok. i know i'm stupid and young! but, my major-malfunction at university of michigan is european history! i just really want to live in london! and, take my boyfriend there! i'm drunk!

oh, i'll get there someday. i suppose the opportunities are before me, here at u-m. i get so mixed up. dumb boyfriend doesn't help. i'm bad, anyway.

i like being bad.

and, i like lex!

<3

living in london is pretty great tbh. travelling generally is necessary.

seeing people so happy-drunk always makes me wish i was drunk, except, it's 8am, and the weather is gross, and i actually need to drink this coffee

well, i do declare: this is lex's day! happy lex day! everyone!

hahahha. i'm slightly drunk. just one of those nights where it doesn't kick in. it's 3:40 here. i'm not bored...!? i really, really wanted him to come over.

sad. i'm afraid he fucks around. i can too. i am A LOT cuter than him. it's easy for me. he should not take my love for granted. i will get all jamie principle on his ass, or something, if he does.

I am going to see a few hours of The Clock bcz i have no gay friends in town.

I will allow 'the gay lou-jagg' if you will allow a few years' asynchronicity, boy_slayer

who is boy_slayer?

boy_slayer is a new poster who was gaily welcomed about a month ago
yay boy_slayer congrats on your first drunk monologue!

listening to the new pantha du prince album

so very, very jealous.

hi everybody, i've been eating everything in sight for the past 10 days and my pants are feeling kinda snug but not in the sexy way, yay

part of that eating was the italian xmas eve feast of 7 fishes, which D. attended with me for the first time and met a whole lot of extended family, it was a fun time! my mom made smoked salmon that was amazing. the family integration project continues apace.

^cute

i have always wanted to do the feast of 7 fishes!!

I'm taking a break from working on my pickup.

truck or artist?

ha, truck

I am taking a break from chemotherapy. No more til I go in for a stem-cell tuneup, looks like. Might go out to a bar if I don't zonk out.

What are you doing with your truck, Rev? What kind of truck?

can you drink, Morbs?

a little red 95 Nissan, changing out one of the brake lights. which should have been a simple process if not for the fact that the bolts holding the taillight assembly together had rusted shut and i don't have metric socket wrenches.

yes I can, now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jFAvIuAev0

I still don't drive and never will.

Just posted the video because I couldn't find a still of the glasses crashing together. Nothing more intended.

yeah i know that u know i am a pedestrian.

tonight was the first time i'd ever been with a group of people when someone yelled "faggot!" from a passing car

...and the group was all straight

have you seen my childhood?

was it in near north/gold coast jord

how did it feel?

That happened to me once in Boystown, but it was in response to my yelling at a driver to STFU b/c she was holding down the horn at stalled traffic. She followed us a ways up Halsted with a guy hanging out the window calling me a fucking faggot and asking if I wanted my ass kicked. u_u

In Greensboro, NC, a friend who walked got "Get a car!" yelled at him more than a couple times. "Faggot" was implied.

the only person to call me a faggot here was a deranged bum who wasn't in a car iirc

was it in near north/gold coast jord

― the memoirs of gaydrian (clouds), Saturday, December 29, 2012 10:32 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

it was right in front of smart bar... so prob some wrigleyville goon

how did it feel?

― friday goodness thank it's (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, December 29, 2012 10:56 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it was weird... i yelled "fuck you!" loudly at the car kind of without thinking and one of my friends said it was the angriest she'd ever seen me but i was less mad than i was disgusted for humanity

...and the group was all straight

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, December 29, 2012 8:30 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark

well objectively speaking -- and i'm making no value judgement here -- of the four of us, one was straight and my boyfriend and i wouldn't come off as people to be called faggots on the street by a passing car. we were with a trans girl but she's dressing pretty muted and we were all wrapped up in coats so idk

I don't think they had a Kinsey counter going.

I bring one with me every time I go out.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me. Probably would have destroyed me when I was younger but these days I think I'd barely care. Of course, you don't really know til it happens.

Closest I ever came to this kind of situation was when I was, like, 20, and "parked" late at night at a marina (I think it was). At some point, some old man walked up to the car (we were the only car there), peered into the window, probably made out what we were doing (and that it was two guys doing it) and spat on the ground as he walked away. Still makes me laugh.

in my old town, the guy down the block had a "Marriage = One Man + One Woman" sticker on his bumper.

i slapped this on said bumper at three in the morning, one night:

http://socalscanner.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/LGBT-Obama-Stickers.jpg

true story.

it makes me crazy to read Jordan's post. i mean, i've experienced my share of that kind of thing too... there's probably no good way of really dealing with it... i don't know.

At a Wynwood bar with my beloved dancing to James and Sleeper. Cig break.

James and Sleeper!

i just feel extremely fortunate that i've had gay professors, and other gay authoritative figures in my life. i couldn't imagine being a generation older, or even a half-generation older, when i might not have had those people to look up to/know.

phil came back from visiting his folks in louisiana last night. we spent the night in and watched "the crowd".

and then i kicked an old lady homophobe out of my hotel

(not really, but i wish)

i worked as a cart-pusher at a superwalmart in florida; saw every offensive bumper sticker imaginable

kind of just makes you crazy after a while/i was young when i did that.

2010, crazy times

sometimes i feel like the evil surmounter. where is he, anyway? i jammed some mariah carey house mixes the other night. he should have been there!

I must've missed that Alfred has a beloved? Instead of someone he's ambivalently 'seeing'?

(God, I loathe all the verbs used in 'dating' including that one.)

Nah, he's a close friend on whom I've had an unrequited crush for many years and with whom I've had a couple of tantalizing physical encounters during the same period.

you use language w/ great inexactitude

that's why I teach English

can you drink, Morbs?

Not as of 3 minutes ago.

Fucking hate my body and my life, this shit is tiresome.

morbs :(

Oh no Morbs

I've been called a faggot a bunch, more times than I can count. The first time I can remember was when I was 24 and in Calgary, I went shopping at Holt Renfrew to buy my mom some Clinique eye cream for Christmas. Then I went walking over to the cowboy boots store, about five blocks away, and I got a "faggot" drive-by once, nearly hit at intersectinos by right-turning trucks twice, and I was thinking "fuck Calgary!" but then I noticed the Holt Renfrew bag was a pretty gay shade of mauve and thought that it might've been a trigger for some of those cowboys

i'd like to think provoking the ire of brain-damaged manchildren means y're doing something right but in truth it doesn't feel v. good when it happens

It's never felt bad to me? I have to repress the urge to walk over and push the guy around. But generally it feels like "really? guy?" like somebody just used the word 'cripple' at a party

Speaking of parties, I had a dinner party last night. Two disparate groups of friends telescoping into one. Pork roast for the carnivores, chickpea cutlets w/mustard sauce for the two vegans. Sides were coriander'd carrots, roasted kale and potato gratin. Since I allowed myself to break diet over the holidays I've been making a potato gratin every day

Oh and we had brandy and tarts for dessert
Holidays w/friends > holidays w/family, for sure

idk, i grew up in the south and still haven't quite recovered

Neither have the vegans, those cutlets were delicious

last time I was called a faggot it was by a prostitute when I turned her services

err turned down her services

I went dancing to Gavin Russom last night, he played til 4:30-ish in this little loft club. it was great. The crowd was very, very straight tho.

still waiting for another delia & gavin record :|

The last time I turned down a stripper's services she and her friends whimpered "Oh! You're gay? That's so cute!" and fleeced me out of $21 (exactly what I would have paid at the bar if our drinks hadn't been free).

now that the laundry's done, I will listen to Maze + Frank Beverly.

when I finish my minute rice, I will watch I Wish and maybe The Sessions.

I wasn't in town for the dinner party but I can attest after last night's hors d'oeuvres get together that fgti has the best food and very good guacamole and high quality tea. And also very charming and interesting friends.

So yeah. Holidays with O's friends > holidays with the family.

me: i have feelings for you, now.
he: i have feelings for you too, so maybe we should break up.

we were not supposed to develop those kinds of feelings; we agreed not to.

sadness. i am smart enough to fix this. i have told him that i am a romantic-dead-end anyway, so we can probably still have fun? my weapon of last resort are the words: "one last time".

i am oversimplifying this, but, i cannot imagine i am the only one in this thread that has negotiated this type of thing? it is probably best for us to break up anyway, but what kind of FUN is THAT???

so, gays

in our close circle of friends we have a trans woman. she's known that she wants to be a woman for a while but just started going out as a woman on the weekends in the last few months or so. so on NYE we went to a party after hanging out and drinking at my boy's place -- it was a party thrown by a few dudes at one of their parents' houses that i know from writing but who aren't friends at all w/ my normal crew. so after hanging out there for a few hours and drinking we left the house... i was trailing everyone as we left the house and i saw our trans friend smash something on the ground. initially i thought it was a bottle or some shit but it was actually a framed photo of the family of the kid hosting the party, who she has never met. (side note -- who does this??????????????????????????????????????????????) so obviously i was completely dumbfounded and a bit panicked actually... my friend came out and i said that one of my friends smashed this photo in the street and i have no idea why. he was thankfully pretty cool about it. anyway, i told our friend that if she wasn't a woman i would've beat her ass (i've never punched anyone or really felt like i wanted to punch anyone, but i meant it in the moment) and that it was totally unacceptable behavior and that she needed to go home immediately etc. my friends were proud of me, which was nice.

she sent me a profuse apology letter later that morning and it's behind me now more or less, but i'm still totally mortified and generally upset and i'm not sure how i'm gonna feel when i see her again. i guess my dilemma is that with a "normal" (sorry) person i would hold it against him or her for a long time, but i'm not sure how i feel (or how i'm supposed to feel) considering the likely underlying issues that would cause a drunk trans woman to smash a photo of a smiling family that she never meant. i don't really know how to handle this going forward... i'm not sure if it's going to bubble up again, but it will to probably continue to color my feelings of her.

seriously not understanding what gender has anything to do with that situation at all. transgender or not, that chick seems kind of terrible?

i like her a lot but i've only known her for a year and thusly don't have the underlying drama like some of our friends who have known her since elementary school. anyway she definitely has done stupid things before when she's been drunk but never anything this drastic.

i do think that possibly, however, there might be an instinct among us gays in this thread to maybe treat trans men and women even more nicely? because they are a more maligned minority? it shouldn't be that complicated, though! just don't smash someone else's family photos, especially if you don't know that family well! geeze.

oh, if there's a history of friendship among her and your other friends, i'd just go with whatever your friends say about that situation. probably?

still strange. if she was drunk, then maybe forgive her this one time? just don't let her near your family photos, i guess.

x-post. fully aware that post can be interpreted as very pc or extremely anti-pc. that's a can of worms if someone wants to open it. trans chicks are chicks, and trans guys are guys, imho.

seriously concerned it's over. i know it isn't, and that i can really fix it. but, it's more complicated than i've let on. jordan's post was close to home, kind of...

yeah but drunk people are drunk, cut her some slack

i don't think it's being particularly pc to cut a trans person in the first few months of going out as a woman some slack in general b/c they're going through some pretty massive stuff, but specifically this was weird and bad behaviour that shouldn't really be excused on that basis (but no worse than any other given drunken bad behaviour we habitually witness, really). (unless she specifically talks about her family issues obv!) so yeah you were right to call her out but it shouldn't make anything weird in the future unless she does stuff like this regularly.

btw a friend of mine did a series of guardian columns as she went through gender reassignment that are worth reading - http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/series/transgender-journey

i am sensitive to tonight's discussion, in this thread.

transphobia. and, i worry about it every day.

i live in one of the most liberal little towns in the country. i don't know if i'm a coward, or if i can change the world - a little.

so, i drink. i'm smart. i'll figure it out someday.

sadness! nighttime encourages drama. i'd talk about rihanna or something if it were daylight. shit.

lex - be my friend, hun.

of course!

how's the big L!?

god, i wish it were the nineties. what the fuck happened?

i don't know! i haven't left the house this year yet because i have a fucked ankle from NYE and the tennis season is back so i've just been watching that all day.

i don't wish it was the '90s. nostalgia is the most useless of all emotions

Point taken. But, it seemed like more of a free-for-all back then, and things are not that way anymore... something changed after W. Bam is my man (my first president), but, blah blah blah, gonna piss off Morbz. I withheld information about my relationship and the gender(s) involved.

You just woke up in London, how was it?

someone please infer. adamantly.

cold, that's all i know. and grey.

i have an underlying faith in progress in a way that i don't have in politicians, i think it's unquestionably better for LGBT people now than in the '90s

if regression has occurred it feels like it's been in terms of misogyny and class

i steered us onto the wrong track. i regret mixing politics with sexuality, and i am afraid of morbs.

my sexual relationship is political, however. so much so, that i am even afraid to define it here. we can't go anywhere. not on the michigan bus, not to coffee shops, not downtown, i'm afraid to even talk about it here. we're basically confined to my studio from after dark until before sunrise. we're about to break up over it. i don't want to.

and, i want to ride the michigan bus, go to coffee shops, and go downtown with... but, my partner is even more afraid than me.

i felt like a little boy the last time we were together. i never thought that i would feel that way again.

I'd cut her a little slack because she's drunk but it doesn't change the fact that her behavior was loutish.

who smashes someone else's family photo? i don't think being drunk excuses anyone's hostile behavior, to be honest. if she had been my guest to the party i would have been fatally embarrassed.

my NYE was low key and very pleasant -- just a bunch of friends at an off-season beach house, lots of beer and eggnog and cheese and cassoulet. midnight passed while we were on the beach, around a fire, passing bottles around. much more enjoyable than navigating the city and its amateur drunks.

the only trouble was that my boyfriend passed out at 10:30 after vowing to stay awake until midnight. i was NOT pleased. he's been forgiven but man, that is a lame move to pull on NYE.

Time waits for no one.

did she say why she did that particularly? it is a little out of the ordinary from usual drunken bad behaviour

I mean, I apparently told somebody I was moving to Cape Verde when I was drunk which makes no sense at all, none, I don't know why I said it. I think I drew a pentagram on something when I was drunk, once. I emptied cereal on the floor of my kitchen and left it there all night. All very out of character things, I don't know or care about Satanism or pentagrams and cereal belongs in the bowl. If this story was simply "girl smashes a stranger's family photo on New Year's Eve" and there weren't any trans-issues involved-- which they're aren't-- I'd be more concerned with how the girl is recovering from her massive hangover

If J0rdan there is any indication that she's explicitly using her trans status to get a free pass toward repeat offenses of loutish drunk behaviour I could understand wanting to cool off on her, but it sounds as if the reverse is true. If she's sending profuse apologies I bet she's already pretty horrified at her own behaviour and its implications etc.

My NYE went pretty well. DJed my friend's house party that was fairly well attended for having been thrown together about 32 hours in advance. Got drunk and high but not too much. Don't really have much more to say than that.

And slayer, I follow your inferences, but I'm not sure where you're going with them? Your situation is definitely shitty if I'm following right but I'm not sure what to do about it beyond telling society at large to get over themselves.

phil and i stayed home, made delicious foods and waited for a boy we invited over to come, but whom we weren't sure would show up. he finally did after midnight, we smoked and talked. abt 5 mins through baraka we were all over each other. it was probably one of my best experiences ever.

Which obviously isn't something you can simply do, especially if your partner is even more reticent than you, but obviously most of the people itt have lived in the closet at some time and know living in the shadows sucks. But I understand there are relationships that are less well taken to in our society than simply M/M or F/F, and not having been in that situation, I don't know what to tell you. (self-xp)

damn clouds

i want every new years to be like clouds' new years

I spent it at a good friend's sister's place; she wouldn't let me drive home, which was a nice gesture. I awoke at 7:30 a.m., as is my wont, drove home, prowled ILX for 15 minutes, and did what I never do: went to bed. I awoke afresh two hours later and listened to Angel Haze and the English Beat while drinking honey ginger tea. Lovely morning.

:D

awesome!

Was sick as hell on NYE/NYD, as was the bf. We had our two best friends over, drank a bit (me more than anyone else, though it didn't make me feel any better) and passed out sometime not long after the ball drop. Spent most of the next day sleeping, then got up, wrote some Jukebox reviews and went back to sleep.

who are you on the Jukebox??

j3r fa1rall

I felt like being a little more anonymous around here a few months back, so I got a new account. Posted something at the time, but it was probably easily missed.

So yeah, sorry to anyone who might've been confused and thought I was just some talkative newbie.

I thought so. Happy new year!

Happy New Year to you as well (and everyone else here)!

Now, me and the puppy are gonna take a walk to the record store where I'm gonna blow some of my Xmas money on vinyl.

yay clouds, that rules!
xp oh hai jer

Hi fgti!

B and i went to the bar at our friend's dad's place, who lives in these artists' lofts in lincoln heights. spent most of it there but at one point we got whisked away somewhere where it seemed like a lot of the dudes were burners?? but they had a fire pit which was nice. then we couldn't find a way back so we called a friend of his in eagle rock who graciously drove us back to my place. only mildly sloppy and mostly very fun

Periodically adding a third to a strong relationship rules, it rules, it's the best thing. The titillation of "new body parts!" is like the least significant thing, just seeing somebody else desiring your bf reminds you of how much you desire him also.

yeah, that's exactly it. he was way into both of us, we were both into him. occasionally we would come up for air and share a kiss and a glancing look of incredulity.

that's so awesome

Make sure you get photos of breakfast afterward, not for anybody else but yourselves

ooh, we should have — we made some italian breakfast thing called strada which is basically eggs cheese & bread, i.e. the best hangover food ever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1mJZwR821M

My most 'memorable' NYE ('94/95) moved from the vanished Wonder Bar to a 3-way at my place... quickly aborted by my hurling up my drinks.

^letting the restless winds blow

If J0rdan there is any indication that she's explicitly using her trans status to get a free pass toward repeat offenses of loutish drunk behaviour I could understand wanting to cool off on her, but it sounds as if the reverse is true. If she's sending profuse apologies I bet she's already pretty horrified at her own behaviour and its implications etc.

― friday goodness thank it's (flamboyant goon tie included), Thursday, January 3, 2013 10:57 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

yeah that's basically it

Never invited a third person but I've been the third person a couple times. Only works if the couple both consent.

i need a massage

i've been wanting to try one of those chair massages at the nail place for years now - has anyone tried those?

surm!!

hi you, how are you doing?

surm! those chair massages are okay but not really massage massages, you know? i promise i don't lurk on the gay thread awaiting your return, btw! hi ilx gays!

well i have to tell you that those full body massages freak me out. it's like get your hands off of my calves.

also, hi!

surm! we've been missing u.

happy new year and so much <3

i've been missing you too! happy new u!

NYC gays, I'm gonna be in your city in March.

We must finally meet.

what will u do wit yourself in our devastating city

ostensibly for a journalism convention but I will play hooky, for which I need your advice

remember to both charge your phone and be willing to walk at least 2 blocks.

I can promise both, although you need to chum the waters for the latter.

and buy cigs before you get there if you plan on smoking

just read this whole thread.
- hey y'all. wasn't on the internet much during the holidays. ain't nobody got time for that, or at least not me, for some reason. anyway, glad everyone emerged relatively unscathed.

- don't understand how anyone could be in the same room as a cop, ever. i am one of those assholes who has ACAB tattooed on his body, and i don't give a fuck because it's true.

- i will be in nyc in march, too, and though i resent another one of us moving to that awful cesspool, i do congratulate j0rdan on the reasons for the move, obviously. (also, btw, i will be reading at ZINC BAR on MARCH 16TH at 4:30 PM. it's a saturday. near NYU and mere blocks from the West 4th subway. also, theo will be travelling with me.

- want some skincare products? PM me. i can get you the best for cheap.

- i bought these boots today for an absurd discounted price: http://www.bensherman.com/us/shoes/boots/plectrum-boot-black.html

i'm having weird anxiety about this nyc trip. mostly i think from a financial standpoint (9 days as a guest in nyc w/ not a lot of cash = eeeeeep)

like "hey why i gotta spend more than a week there in the first place and bug all my friends who i haven't seen in forever to put up two of us because i can't afford a hotel?" and even now i haven't squared away all the sleeping arrangements yet and ugh i swear i used to like planning these things at one point

He ain't a bastard, he's my cousin. I feel you tho

i emailed a mexican recently, it was about a night we spent together. he said he's a total grouch for the holidays but that my email was sweet. i felt like i did a good thing

anyway that was a total nonseq, sorry about that

yea don i never have any money to travel

my life dream is to see celine in vegas this year now that she's renewed her contract, for my bday. but i have no money

donna, I sympathize: I wouldn't travel if I couldn't afford it.

alfie i saw some more barbara stanwyck movies, i like her a lot. the lady eve was ridic amazeing

but tbh double indemnity kind of blew

not liking The Lady Eve is a deal breaker, although I haven't dated anyone who's seen a movie before 1970.

hmmmph surm!

Sotosyn yr dating habits are paradoxical

it was just like, why are you helping this woman kill her husband, you barely know her

and why did you think you could get away with such a stupid plan

and why do you keep calling her "baby"

ohh but you know what else i watched, sunset boulevard

Sotosyn yr dating habits are paradoxical

The relationships, like crap games, end.

this thing when your boyfriend is away and you have to wait for him to get back to do ADMIN stuff like RSVPing to a wedding, arranging a house party &c -_-

also oh fuck this is the first ever australian open i've ever been in a relationship during. staying up all night watching tennis is not compatible with a relationship, i fear. BUT I MUST

this thing when your boyfriend is away and you have to wait for him to get back to do ADMIN stuff like RSVPing to a wedding, arranging a house party &c -_-

you have a phone, right?

is he still in india?

oh, i see

just call collect imo

oh we can contact each other (texts, mostly of cryptic crossword clues cuz we're interesting like that; i don't really use my phone for talking and discourage others from it), he just doesn't have access to his diary!

see i can't stand texting, i want to yell at all but the simplest of texts like just call me you fuck

today my boyfriend asked me why i sound like i never want to talk to him on the phone and i said because i don't want to talk to anyone on the phone

I muuuch prefer texting with bf and talking with everyone else. Case in point: my best friend texted me an endless slew of "how's life"-y questions today, and I'm wondering why he just didn't call. Meanwhile, my bf texts me "what is healthier, shrimp or chicken?" and I replied "chimps"

Maybe not the best example, but if I ever posted a highlight reel of my texting history with bf you'd all be barfing for days

good answer

the simple life: I am text-free, and no one phones

(oh, Stevie D texted my landline once)

LOL did I really?

God this year is so weird

I feel like I am on the crux of some really major change(s); I'm searching for a new job and figuring out where I fit in w/ this whole Radical Faerie thing and also sorta seeing a whole bunch of different guys but I don't want to be boyfriends with any of them but I value them all in their own ways.

I spent NYE with my roommate David and my ex/bestie Scott hanging out in my house smoking weed and drinking beer and eating chili and then at 11:57 we turned on a strobe light and played "Countdown" by Beyoncé *really* loud and then banged pots and pans, and then this horrible guy David had hooked up with the night before came over at like 12:45 (even though D had told him he could drop by for a little bit early in the eve if he wanted but not too late and that he couldn't stay over) and then sat on the couch practically on top of David and talked about all the drugs he did and totally completely ignored Scott and I, and then they left and S and I stayed up til 4 having rly good convos abt life/love/etc and ended up sleeping in the same bed, and then the next day this guy I've been talking to OKC met up with us (jus u kno me, dude I'm flirting w/ on OKC, and my ex, nbd) (lol) and we spent the day walking around the city and also shopping (I bought $100 H&M x Margiela painted-white jeans for $15) and drinking coffee and talking about intellectual queer stuff, and then we all wound up at my place and watched Ab Fab in my room until Scott "went to the bathroom" and OKC guy and I jerked off together (he got cum evvvvverywhere), and then Scott came back in like as OKC dude was putting his shirt on, it was hilariously strange, OKC dude is probably totally weirded out, I changed the sheets and then Scott and I slept in the same bed again marveling abt what a fucking weird day it'd been.

Stevie D's Tales of the City

goon tie OTM about texts from bfs

Speaking of we'll be in NYC in approx 6 hrs!

instead of going out dancing or meeting boys or getting laid, i went to the gym first thing in the morning and then got no other work done all day until close to 11 pm when i spent a billion hours writing on twitter about intra-queer community homophobia and gay racism in the context of internet rap beef and reporting on internet rap beef and what was the point and why do i do this and it is 2:30 in the morning and i am not sleeping and not drunk and not having sex.

where are my PRIORITIES.

lol.

And slayer, I follow your inferences, but I'm not sure where you're going with them? Your situation is definitely shitty if I'm following right but I'm not sure what to do about it beyond telling society at large to get over themselves.

― hemioblock (The Reverend), Thursday, January 3, 2013 11:18 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

::sigh:: i just want to THANK YOU for actually saying anything, Rev. my posts either went unnoticed, or are just too... difficult. your inferences are probably correct, and even if they are slightly incorrect, they are surely still close enough to correct - at least for as much as i'm wlling to divulge, now... sometimes, even gays would make fun of my partner and i.

transphobia. i think of this everyday. i'm not GOING ANYWHERE with these posts, because we've hit a brick wall. even if the thing to do was to: talk to someone about our relationship, get feedback, etc. etc. i doubt that would still work. i would reflexively and defensively become very flippant, etc. (no, no, it's not that way, it's this way). i've thought a lot the last few days... but, every time we're together, things change. any conclusions that i come to are ephemeral in our reality.
the only information that i am withholding are the genders involved.

i mean, there's one place we can go. one club on gay night. other than that... home dates? takeaway chinese food, movies, and...?

anyway, my sex made me a star on ilx. yes, last monday night, there was this intense moment where "house jam" by gang gang dance was playing while we were fucking and climaxing, by my bedroom spotlight. it was like a movie, blah, blah.

(kind of don't like gang gang, though, really)

any answer i come up with right now is meaningless. everything keeps changing.

i wish things would kind of stay the same but gradually involve into something resembling a relationship. it might? still? fucking hell if i have time at umich. yeah fucking right.

we'll be in my studio, 12:00am - 6:00am.

*evolve. we're both fucking tragic. goodnight.

You're dating a trans? Or you are trans? And you'll be going/are going to U Michigan? And somehow you're an ilx sex star?

Stevie your new year's sounds awesome. I just had a pile of shit-disturby Toronto people up to Montreal and we got reminiscent. Alex MTL was there too! A friend of his with insufferably enormous cheekbones left a bottle of rum, which I drank of last night. Rum is gross!

Who left rum? Who had cheekbones? I brought Lee. And Corey my friend who does folk stuff? And she had two friends? Was her tall male friend the one with the cheekbones? I had a lot of cognac.

And slayer, i didn't intend to ignore your posts! They're just very oblique? Or...veiled? I didn't necessarily get what you were inferring and I sort of do now but I'm going to go back and re read them all before attempting on giving any advice?

boy_slayer <3 <3 and I don't mean to tell you your business, but I think you should do storytelling posts in the sober morning, keep late-night delirious posting limited to pithy comments. I don't understand you!

Yeah, it was a tall friend with cheekbones. He was pestering a famous guy about work and I said "no work talk" and then proceeded to talk about my work, ha ha whoops

mentioning yr children in yr adam4adam profile: nagl

haha about three years ago I chatted intermittently with a guy a couple of days and just when I was about to propose meeting for a drink I glanced at his photos again and saw him with a five-year-old girl, his daughter.

I didn't meet him.

:(
I wish I was a gay dad

goon tie, were you hanging with br3ndie? i'm so envious if so.

oh riiight he's a mutual friend? YES he was over at mine and looking fabulous, a perfectly clipped beard.

:(
I wish I was a gay dad

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/music/images/artists/542x305/c2cd7d06-4236-470b-badf-f3a52a3992c4.jpg

theo was sick yesterday so i coddled him all day except for a brief outing to buy as well as steal some new books. excited about those. didn't really get much done but today i am going to the gym in a few minutes, then coming home and reading until dinner. can't decide whether to start with Aase Berg or Pattie McCarthy, but yknow.

also, due to a recent delve into THE WIRE again, theo and i discovered that Michael K Williams (aka Omar Little aka the gay gangster with a sawed-off) choreographed the video to Crystal Waters' "100% Pure Love" in 1994, which makes him even cooler.

oh riiight he's a mutual friend? YES he was over at mine and looking fabulous, a perfectly clipped beard.

:-D

Br3ndan seemed really lovely! I like him! Charming conversationalist at dinner too.

And ugh I'm sorry about tall cheekbones boy. I only wanted to see C0rey - don't know the other two - but I should have impressed more strongly the importance of letting people have a chill time and not being gross abt their work stuff. Slightly mortified. Incredibly sorry. :/

Michael k Williams choreographed 100% pure Love?!?!

the internet is amazing!

OH NO don't be sorry are you kidding?! I am immune to cheekbone-charm but he was a good party guest (and he left this rum that I am about to pour myself)

<3 you guys.

i know that this thread is a safe place to talk about this stuff, but, i don't know... i'd really rather keep things lighter and not burden anyone with all my recent sex drama. i mean, i wish i could talk to someone about this stuff, but... i really only need to talk to my partner, i think. it's just, i don't know whether to laugh or cry about this stuff, sometimes. i know that i keep only half-way explaining it all, too. i apologize for recent drunk posting lately, as well. things have been out of control lately. i should probably take a break from ilx, or at least this thread, until things calm down.

on a lighter note, at least the sex is totally incredible now. as documented elsewhere on ilx, i was kind of not into it/confused at first. but, now, it's a higher high than i ever could possibly have imagined.

i'm not insecure, i just don't want to burden anyone with this melodrama. i just wish that... when my partner stayed over, that they would actually STAY over.

no don't take a break! i don't think any of us feel burdened by it. in my case it's that i don't really feel like i have any helpful advice to give.

lex, yr a doll!

a break from ilx is coming, even if it is not my own decision to take one. school begins again on wednesday, i don't know... i'm excited for the new semester. just... i won't be able to post so much after school begins again. i'll let everyone know how it ends... or keeps going. i can only imagine this will actually end/continue for, at least another month or two? even if it ends, it'll be a long, emotionally messy, and quite sexy ending. i don't know... i wish that i could say more and explain. i am sorry, so sorry for wasting everyone's time when i'm just too shy to give adequate details. it's just... i know this thread is safe, but some jerk might read it and make fun of me and my partner elsewhere on ilx. (we're both boys? one of us is a trans chick.)

i look forward to sexy home dates. i MIGHT catalog more intense sexcapades, lest i forget them later in my crazy life.

european history! let's really dig in to those first five years of the 30 years war. lol. at u-mich! i'm a little drunk!

Don't be shy and it's no burden. I'm going to DM you in a second.

To my mind, privacy sucks. Privacy is what makes people think they can call so-and-so a fat ugly bitch and it's no thing. I hope I've been able to teach myself to be OK with anything that comes out of my mouth and/or body and not care about if/how that information gets disseminated. When "overheard at a party" turns into "contents of somebody's tumblr post" turns into "a phone call from mom" turns into whatever. YES MOM I had sex with a dude and smoked a cigarette, calm down (and you should try it some time)

But yeah, protecting the privacy of others is a different story. I literally can't say anything, about anybody. One time I got in trouble for tweeting "I'm working", with no further details. Big trouble! Almost got fired! Crazypants

i've been trying not to smoke much

I don't follow you, flamboyant.

on the one hand i recognise that being blasé about privacy is a privilege, on the other i instinctively feel like goon tie. it's interesting how people's attitudes to privacy online have done a 180 since i first got on the internet.

my bf is back tomorrow and i get to see him again. he's promised me a kerala fish curry. i'm so hyped.

i'm still concerned about the australian open though. i should advise him to go travelling during the slams in future.

I hope I've been able to teach myself to be OK with anything that comes out of my mouth and/or body and not care about if/how that information gets disseminated

I don't think you should ever lose this horror

Ha I was coffee-beaned and a little wild-eyed when I wrote that. But I don't know what was hard to follow.

fwiw I've never had mansex and a cigarette turn into a conversation turn into a tumblr post turn into a phone call from mom, not specifically that order of operations all at once, but the takeaway was surely make sure the sex was good (and don't smoke)

ow

http://i.imgur.com/28bsz.jpg

!!

wha' happen?

I hope those are kisses, corey

kisses from pavement — bike accident.

was hoping for fight club

kisses from pavement

nice wording

i hope ur feeling ok :|

if it's any consolation it's kind of sexy on you

hehe

i'm in florida atm. my baby sister and i spent the day playing super mario galaxy.

ouch! i fell off my bike a few weeks ago on the way back from an alleycat and i ended up with 7 staples in my head. still not wearing a helmet (stupid i know) but i'm def. more careful about drinking & riding. was there a car involved?

nah. i wasn't even drunk, just distracted and biking too fast.

i weirdly feel better now than i did before the accident. it kinda reminded me that ppl care abt you if bad shit happens to you -- at least for a bit.

Baby I compare you to a kiss from a road

Guys, WEAR HELMETS!! EVERYONE WEAR A HELMET!! There is 0 reason not to wear a helmet!

i have an equestrian helmet guess i could use that

I wore one when the painter I hooked up with last July came over.

did he paint you?

lol

Guys, WEAR HELMETS!! EVERYONE WEAR A HELMET!! There is 0 reason not to wear a helmet!

― nicki mINOJ (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, January 8, 2013 3:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes. i used to live with a girl who refused to wear a helmet because it would mess up her hair. i was like, your BRAIN is more important than your HAIR. JUST WEAR A HELMET.

ok so back in december, d. and i attended the annual holiday party thrown by he4dm4ster magazine since i know one of the editors and some ppl who have contributed in the past. anyway, later on this guy who was at the party sends me a FB message "you are a very handsome man" and then the next day "sorry for the drunk message, i just think you and your bf are cute" and i reply don't worry about it, and now he's sent me another message "we should get together for a drink sometime :D" and i have no idea what this means or what he wants or how to tactfully respond?

i am only confused because 1. i've never been chatted up on facebook 2. he knows i have a boyfriend 3. he seems like an interesting guy who i might like to get to know AS A FRIEND but i don't know if that's feasible? anyway, lame 21st century social media etiquette question, i'll take your responses off the air

go for the drink, say no if he makes a move

i think more people should ask new people out for drinks platonically

Yeah. Don't refuse drink invitations.

i hear you, i'm just not convinced his interest is platonic and aside from mutual acquaintances i have no idea what we might talk about

the facebook flirt, it's a definite thing. martinis and maybe more is the insinuation. is he cute?

psst surm I don't think that's relevant here

I mean unless you are just curious. I sort of am too, actually.

when sex and facebook are involved, it's always relevant! :P

He did say that both you AND yr bf were cute. Maybe he wants all three of you to get together for a "drink."

or all 4 if he has a bf

meeting up with people that fancy you, who you don't fancy back, is always a minefield and rarely turns out well. not that it is always explicitly BAD it's just never natural.

in spite of this i'd probably do it but that's because i'm single and lonely :)

He may not have platonic intentions but if he sounded interesting, looked cute, and can hold a conversation, eh, why not? You can have one drink before pleading laundry detail.

does anybody have platonic intentions

not me, said the lord

almost always, now

he said you were both cute right?

who would plato do?

he'd discuss modes of alienation while you're both quietly humping.

Today I ate crab cake sliders for $7 at Morton's "power hour," then ate baked kibbeh at a Mediterranean joint across the street.

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 22 December 2012 03:00 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

much better baked than fried IMO

the guy said we were both cute but he's only been sending messages to me, fwiw

so apparently after all my years of clear skin i'm getting payback

but i'm armed and dangerous, i have about 5 or so new products to play with for winter

ok, but don't overdo it

k

i mean most of them are skincare and not makeup, you know i've really gone easy on the gems and makeup in the past year or two, like sometimes i look straight

as a buddy told me recently: "y're only shy w/ yr clothes on"

I am when my pants are too baggy.

the shops here in fl have started to carry 511s. i'm surprised.

you're back in Florida?

i love 511's but i'm thinking about getting some 501's

i know, i'm telling you

501s are the best

yea it's like

in a city full of skinny sometimes i'm just like put on some fuckin pants

visiting fam alfred

i am kind of over super skinny jeans myself. i basically wear the same pants every day b/c nothing else fits well (and also i've gained some weight)

weight is in this season

PS as i predicted months ago pleats are back, granted this is mainly in the women's dept but it is only a matter of tiiiiime

the other day i was talking to someone about paris is burning and i accidentally said cor3y d0miny instead of dorian corey.

true story.

haw! <3

one of ph1l's good friends is named dorian, so it was hard to avoid that joke when we were introduced. no one got it :(

:)

The c*ncer-center doctors are trying to send me a dermatologist bcz I have "a rash" on my legs. I tried to tell them I'm Irish, this is how my skin looks under fluorescent light.

i thought you were american?

that's how we talk about ethnicity over here

My lips are completely numb. From being bitten so much.

Bat For Lashes lyric?

meow

Guys I love living in Montreal soooo much
It is cold and snowy and they pick up garbage twice a week
They have all the French cuts of meat and they sell drinkable wine at corner stores
All my friends here are the "coming over for dinner" kind instead of the "I'm DJing tonight" kind
I've connected irl with a handful of internet friends (Alex in MTL!) and 95% of them just rule
One of them does not rule and he is frustrating me this morning
I know it's tremendously boring to be a stickler for punctuality, but
It's the easiest and most effective way of drawing conclusions as to the longevity of your new acquaintances

i want to go

Well, be on time. Text if you're running behind

punctual (you're so)

So not to be That Guy but I just woke up from this dream that goon tie was listing off to me the names of tracks from his new album (and I was dictating them for some reason)? Track 1 was called something like "Washington Heights Party (Groovy Time)" and the rest were all titles from panned movies (I remember "B.A.P.S." and "Saw VII" (is there even a VII?))

So there's that. Anyway, having great time in NYC, wish you were all here, etc

np I lol'd
rejected song titles is my favourite game

I dreamt I was going to a baptism with some tru punk friends incl. my Christian Death loving baby sis and they were surprisingly girlish and sweet about "baby!" and "institutionalized religion!" and I made them American-style pancakes, it was a blissfully happy dream

holy shit j0e that is so fucking pvmic (esp "B.A.P.S.")

I'm having a lot of really weird/depressing boy-related shit, I don't know how much to even get into here or how I would even do it bcz it's all so stupid complicated, but in a nutshell I went from like "seeing" a whole bunch of ppl at once to feeling like all of these things are sort of crumbling around me at the same time w/o any clear catalyst, and then the other night I watched my ex (who I'm already p envious of bcz he is attractive/successful/magnetic) make out w/ the one guy out of the bunch I am/was quasidating that I actually really care abt and have gotten pretty close with (who I feel like has been withdrawing over the past few weeks), who he had only met once before (and both times through me, and knew exactly who he was in relation to me/how much I liked him). Ex and I talk v openly about our lives and he knows I've been going through a lot of rough depresso shit and also that I've been having doubts abt the thing that me and aforementioned guy had, and pulled me aside after the fact and asked if he was upsetting me, and then apologized for the bad timing, etc. We left together to go to this other thing, I said goodbye to several ppl incl guy-I-like-a-lot, and then watched ex and him exchange a much friendlier goodbye, and before we even got to the end of the block I had a full-on panic attack (or I think it was a panic attack, where my heart started beating v fast and I got really short of breath and had the overwhelming urge to throw my bike through a window), which was kinda scary because I've never had a panic attack before in my life.

And of course all of these feelings of upset/anger/hurt are compounded by feelings of guilt bcz all parties involved are into this whole non-monogamy thing and no one belongs to anyone else or has any right to tell anyone what they can/cannot do. I just wish it didn't have to happen, like, in front of me when I was already having a shitty night/week.

fwiw I love the word quasidating

It's quite apt/relevant this day and age (see: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/fashion/the-end-of-courtship.html )

You need to erase that ex from your life for a while I think, he's not being a good ex. Putting yourself in direct competition? And then apologizing for being the victor? "Oh I hope you're not upset that I'm inadvertently but obviously making you feel shitty about yourself in this tough time. I'm going to apologize to you to make you feel further degraded." I don't know the guy so I can't say "shitty behaviour" with any conviction but it sounds like it'd be good to get some distance

No, the apology was very sincere, he wasn't at all trying to be a dick and he truly isn't a shitty person. I mean the whole situation's a lot more complex than I laid out above. But yeah, I'd already decided a few days earlier to withdraw a bit from boys, talking about boys with my roommate and ex, talking to boys on the apps, texting boys I am or maybe have been, erm, quasidating.

I am going to date myself for a little bit.

boys, like temp jobs, work on the "feast/famine" principle ime

Hot date

i'm going to see miguel tonight. i missed him the last two times he came to london so this is v overdue. quite fittingly, the last of those was because i was otherwise engaged meeting my bf for the first time, and now this is the first gig i'm taking him to.

i've also been arranging my annual port & stilton evening and i wish all of y'all were in the same country so i could invite you

Tell me that the stilton is miiiine

last year no one, including me, brought any stilton. we had everything from the most esoteric, stinky french cheeses to ironic cheese strings (the guest who brought these is an artist), but no stilton.

Stevo, that is rough and I think I know what you're going through. It's a very tricky set of complications and questions with no good answers. The laying low bit does help; sometimes you just need to hole up and recoup. Just don't forget that you're a neat person, and you have a lot of magnetism of your own to work with, even if it's different from everybody else's.

Or in the words of Lee Ann Womack
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV-Z1YwaOiw

Well, be on time. Text if you're running behind

― friday goodness thank it's (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, January 12, 2013 6:46 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh gawd, you'd hate me. I'm always, ALWAYS on CPT.

damn, I had some sexy makeouts last night and it even got sexier than that. in a parked car.

ummm, i mean after leaving a party with a guy, i didn't just meet some guy in his car, it wasn't that skeevy.

I met donna rouge and his sweet bf. Not the enthused singers of "Cabaret" and "Being Alive" for whose benefit we were told to shush.

me & the boy

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/20125_10102180142279210_1440006104_n.jpg

cuet. i hope you were skating holding hands like the couple in bg

awww

He looks much cuter with longer hair. And surely you both planned to part your respective hairs from different angles.

nice!

awww seconded

cuet. i hope you were skating holding hands like the couple in bg

― The Reverend, Sunday, January 13, 2013 2:57 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

i have no idea how to skate so this was almost a necessity

Should I impulsively book a trip to Montreal in late jan/early feb?

not on my account? but it is a lovely city of wonder. i will be probably deluged in the final stages of a 40 page group factum. but i will probably be available for a drink

lol I learned to ice skate in North Miami Beach.

the houseguest of indefinite duration has found an apartment and will be moving out within a couple weeks.

the nightmare is finally over. (not that it was ever a nightmare, but i'm very thrilled for it to just be the 2 of us again)

Muriel Spark's The Houseguest of Indefinite Duration

Our houseguest has moved in. I spent $6 on a fancy bar of soap that he keeps using; I've used it four times and it's already mostly gone now. Also, he leaves pee on the floor and seat.

houseguests, wtf?

Muriel Spark's The Houseguest of Indefinite Duration

cover illustration by ed gorey, natch

in other news i've gone more than a month without a cigarette

you have had a busy month!

and i've been making lots of friendship bracelets because i'm secretly a tween

not really, but crafty doings help to occupy my hands when i'm feeling anxious / have a craving (frequently)

BTW my last post means never, ever have houseguests, this is the simple stuff.

i just spent a week as a houseguest and am relieved to be back in my own bed again

I don't love houseguests but I always love letting a band crash, it's nice to make some kids breakfast and get a record in exchange. Plus there's a guarantee they'll be gone by noon

That pleasantest of experiences when the band has driven away and you put on their record and it's really good

i went to my first queer party the other night! apparently ph1l and i were a hit despite not dancing.

why wouldn't you be a hit? you're very capable of being social, it seems!

i have a day off tomorrow, and i'm really looking forward to it. this weekend was a big disappointment. i had a panic attack on Friday night, which kept me from enjoying an otherwise charming night with friends, and things just didn't click for the rest of the weekend. it was aggravating because it was a wide-open weekend, and i really needed the downtime. hopefully tomorrow will be relaxing.

what is going on with you guys and panic attacks? do i need to send ativan

i am going to go get some

i dunno. the world seems hostile and crazy.

when someone asks "do u party" they specifically mean speed, right. cuz...

the meaning has always been much broader in my experience!

but the world IS hostile and crazy. adapt!

meth

ya, fuck that noize

try not to get worried
try not to turn on to
problems that upset you

http://www.recordsale.de/cdpix/t/the_soft_pink_truth-do_you_party.jpg

haha i almost posted that

my go-to cardio album for a couple years tbh

<3

Regarding Jordan S., how does so much righteous hyperbole come from such a v. cuet thing!? lol.

it's amazing what wholesome exteriors can camouflage.

why don't you ask him? xp

hyperbole comes in cute packages

referring to the pwn everything thread, btw. lol.

new cute boy moved in across the hall. he's like flirting with me in a text and has asked me to dinner. yeah, get involved with yr neighbor. that is smart, lol.

referring to the pwn everything thread, btw. lol.

― boy_slayer, Monday, January 14, 2013 5:50 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

yeah i figured

which thread?

hyperbole, by j0rdan s.

hyperbole, by j0rdan s.

classique!

lol.

oh, nice. the boy across the hall just came in to chat for 20 minutes. before that, however, i OF COURSE had just microwaved and ate the smelliest morningstar veggie patties that i possibly could have. it smells THAT bad in here and there's probably a restraining order against me now. :(

Remember what Martin Fry said: she's vegetarian except when it comes to sex

basically my m.o. the last few months. :D

i actually said... that

hmmm, this guy from the other night is texting me and i'm feeling ambivalent

because your lips are sore?

ha, no longer. i dunno, it's my damn aloofness that gets in the way of this shit. and it's like i've never really been that driven by sex and i suspect i have little in common with this guy beyond that. also the last guy i was dating i really liked and we just kinda drifted apart for no good reason and i feel like i would rather be trying to reconnect with him. i make a lot of excuses for myself.

I'm torn in the same ways but I try to think of first principles: would I enjoy his company if we met for drinks or lunch? If I can make it that far without thinking of laundry or a Thornton Wilder novel, then we can return to my place.

Boys are the worst, I am so over this dot org, I'm never doing the boy thing ever again.

I'm going straight.

:C

ugh. i have been having a great week or two and school is going well and life is ok.

and i was at the library until midnight and i was going to pass out and go to the gym at 8 and still might manage to do that but instead i am lying in bed in an empty apartment having feelings about the ex for the first time in weeks? and they aren't angry feelings or annoyed feelings or pissed at him feelings like they were most of the time? and they aren't like depressive or i'm going to be alone forever feelings or any of the crazy over the top stuff that i did the first week post-break up? and since then most of the feelings haven't been about us really? they've either been about my insecurities or him doing things that annoy me.

and right now i just feel a little bit sad and i miss him? i miss having him around to talk to, i miss his jokes that he insisted i didn't really get, i miss the way he would dance with his cat to music when he thought i wasn't paying attention, i miss his stupid nose and the smell of the back of his neck and i miss curling around someone to fall asleep. i miss having someone who knows me well enough to be able to put a hand on my knee when i'm talking too much so i know when to stop. i miss the noise he makes when he gets excited about things, and the way he obsessively listens to one song at a time for two or three weeks straight. i miss the way he looks the handful of times i got him tipsy enough to dance with me.

i don't think this is about wanting to get back together, because there are lots of things about him i don't miss, and this is what he wanted/needed and he's doing really well, and we've spoken twice cordially this month, and i don't melt when i hear his voice or anything. but i don't want to cry either. more of a mild ache. it's more...i never really believed it would stick? we had a few near break-ups in the first year, and i put forward that ultimatum last march when things were dire, but... i think i downplayed to myself how much i was in this thing for the long haul in the aftermath of the breakup because i didn't want to feel foolish? i honestly thought that i'd be with him for... well. a really fucking long time. we were having conversations about my job prospects in different cities and where he could move and find work and stuff and... i guess when it happened at the end of a rough week or two it seemed like it had been anticipated but the further away i get from those two weeks the more i'm baffled at how quickly things fell apart? and how there's maybe one person who has ever MAYBE known me better, and she's getting married next year lol and how weird it is that you can know someone so well and still be totally surprised by what they need.

i found some mail of his in my bedroom when i cleaned it yesterday and texted him to find out when we can meet for me to give it to him, and i had forgotten that he's started law classes at a french university in MTL which i'm not even entirely able to wrap my head around, and in some ways he was exactly the same and in some ways he seemed entirely strange to me after two months. like he'd fundamentally changed or like i never really knew him as well as i thought.

anyway, it's late at night and i am still awake and i don't want to be awake. but i want to be in a bed with my boy and two cats curled up by my feet. which is silly. but still. when it was good, there was nowhere i felt safer. i miss feeling safe like that.

oh wow. that's a lot of sad feelings.

blame stephen sondheim and taylor swift.

but like. a boy stayed over this week and he was nice and sweet and smart and funny and he really liked me and i liked him and we had a lot of fun but i can't just go back to feeling stable and functional and happy because there are boys who like me.

and i thought about it a lot and i don't think i can handle a boy who likes me right now anyway, because... i want more than anything to let someone in again right now but also the entire idea of trusting someone with that much of me is totally completely terrifying. like, my friends know me and take care of me and that's fine. i'd trust them with my life. but letting myself drift back into that space of letting one person become paramount and take up more emotional and psychological space than anyone else... just thinking about it makes me freak out. if i misread so much of the boy so badly how on earth am i supposed to get a read on people if i don't have at least a little bit of distance (i.e. friendship distance at the very least). too close and i end up blinded by wishful thinking and emotionally-driven epistemic closure.

on the other hand i just got back from an hour at the gym and feel pretty great so yay exercise and yay adrenaline and yay dizzee rascal.

feel free to ignore all of that i guess?

<3 <3 these men are all lucky to even know you.

I've recognized in myself a tendency toward emotional distance that I've tried to embrace and even cultivate this past year in the face of "family drama". Yesterday tho that drama really got me down and instead of getting out of the house in the evening like I had planned, I reclined on a couch and ate spicy sausages and watched a Logan Lerman movie

I saw Logan Lerman in Perks and he was quite good! What else has he done?

If you ever need to get out you know where to find me although sometimes I will be in the library.

I am finally bussing to campus b/c after hitting the ground running I got distracted by Internet for 30 minutes pre-shower alas. Still. New day! Good day!

i hate the way my advice always comes across as cold and unsympathetic in cases like this, i don't mean it to and i totally know what you mean alex! but i think it's super-important to learn how to feel as safe as that on your own, to learn to love your own company. i think that makes relationships healthier too. it doesn't mean you don't get lonely or crave another body there occasionally but it stops it being...something you have to live with.

i'm learning that freelancing is really really unconducive to relationships because the nature of my work (and also my disorganisation) means that i seem permanently unreliable and prone to last-minute cancellations :( i was gonna see the bf on thu then i had to cancel today because my miguel interview is gonna be in the evening, so i suggested today instead and now i think i might have to cancel that too because i'm panicking about the amount of writing i need to do this week, and we're going away this weekend so i have to do it all before then :(

oh i agree with you?

it's not cold an unsympathetic. haha. that's why i turned this other boy down!

it felt really good. i mean. it felt sucky to disappoint someone and to say no to someone who is so awesome.

but any satisfaction from life i've gotten post-relationship has been about learning to feel awesome and safe and fun on my own again.

like, i'm mostly just pissed because i did the hard work of that during my first two years out or whatever, and finally didn't really give a fuck about meeting a boy when i stumbled into JF. and somehow the two years of that totally emptied out my self-confidence/esteem/etc. that had been pretty hard won!

and i am looking forward to winning it back. :)

it just requires/will require occasionally standing firm and turning down ill-timed but otherwise ~perfect~ boys. which i'm going to get better at.

because waking up at 7 and going to the gym and getting errands done and reading a few chapters of a book on a bus and doing readings in the library all before noon feels way better than meeting + making out with a cuet boy, tbh.

i appreciate your advice basically b/c it is the hard love advice that i give my friends and try to give myself and then sometimes at 4 in the morning i get weak and gross. but mostly i just need someone to slap sense back into me then if i haven't done it to myself already

HURRAH

even though i am in a relationship atm and loving it i don't think i'm ever gonna stop thinking that people are at their best when they embrace themselves as singular individuals. boys that you like or love or whatever are like, the ornamentation to that

and somehow the two years of that totally emptied out my self-confidence/esteem/etc

also in more this-sounds-harsher-than-it's-meant-to replies, fuck any relationship that does this to you

oh no absolutely for sure.

altho, i'm not entirely certain if that was ~this~ relationship or if it was just that my hard-won self-hood was less self-y than i suspected lol

sounds like you need the dawn richard record, not the taylor swift one, right now

probably a little of both. i went to get a haircut new years eve day (december 31) and it was the first haircut post-breakup and i realized that i didn't have to get a haircut that he would like any more and i went back to my old cut-yr-own-hair style sharp fade etc. and i felt really attractive and good about myself etc.

i've been listening to the dawn richard a lot lol

it was actually mostly joni last night, with the exception of 'last kiss'

just a weird two-three hour bubble of sad which happens when you are INCAPABLE of falling asleep because SLEEP CYCLES HOW DO THEY WORK

"A HAIRCUT THAT HE WOULD LIKE"?????????

this is not a sentence that would cross either my mind or my bf's, i am pretty certain of this

though we might both assume we like how we looked when we first met and have no intention of changing anyway

my bf suggested to me that i might look cute with a mustache and then the thought stewed in my subconscious for a few weeks and well guess what i have now

I'm wearing new burnt orange pants to work today; the two boys in my writing class were eyeing me

i am in the process of growing my hair out. my hair is beautiful and that's the truth, so why not make more of it?

i just need to remember that 'growing my hair out' does not mean 'never getting a haircut' because that is just bad strategy

also joe i want to see your 'stache

looks like we're almost ready for spring

i have thick hair that gets massively uncomfortable when there's too much of it - it's like, it's all fine, it looks fine etc, and then one day i wake up with an unbearable heat cloud on my head and i can't take it

My hairdresser of five years has moved to California so I'm getting my hair cut by random Francophonic ladies. I scooped my hair into a fringe and she paused and said "emo?" and I said "no no, gay porno" and she did it great, nice haircut.

I am also growing out my monobrow, I know most adults let their freaky brow flag fly, but mine grew in very thick at a very young age and I haven't gone a week without attending to it with a razor.

Logan Lerman was in a Percy Jackson movie which is on Netflix and I don't recommend to anybody, I just put it on because my bff Thom is in ~love~ with Logan and has written songs about him so I wanted to see what his deal was. He's cute I suppose? He's got this "I can't act" thing going on which is fairly charming

And Alex if you're at the library and it's midnight and you're hungry or stressed just knock on my door and I'll make you a plate. I have so much cucumber salad I don't think I'll ever eat it all.

Also this is like bragging about knowing how to flush a toilet but I've been eight days without ~that terrible bad habit~ yay me

~that terrible bad habit~

smoking? biting your nails? masturbating? all 3, simultaneously?

i have a faint monobrow which is usually obscured by my glasses anyway. i took a razor to it in HS once and i can't say i really recommend monobrow stubble as a look to anyone

i get my eyebrows threaded. it stings like a motherfucker but it only takes about 90 seconds total. i'm actually overdue for a threading. getting a little fuzzy up there.

i have beautiful eyebrows, too, btw.

i'm feeling very confident today, in case you were wondering.

There's a booth in the middle of the mall here that does this and it looks effing painful. Also, a strange thing to be comfortable with having done to you while hordes of random strangers walk by and can clearly see you.

it is painful. it feels like they are tearing your eyelids off in millimeter-width strips. but it beats the protracted agony of plucking individual hairs, or waxing, which i could never even consider. i never had my brows done until my boyfriend convinced me to try it last year. i was skeptical but i really liked the result. my brows have a pretty natural shape on their own, i just get them cleaned up around the edges. honest, i think it makes me look cleaner. fresh face to the world, &c.

hi!

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/20130115_133134_zpsfbf38c06.jpg

shining happy ppl

HI HI HI

Nice brows!
I'm gonna go full fur, though, inspired by my beautiful friend Dan
He's got a brow that just won't quit
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3212/3048208420_927a036472_q.jpg
<3 <3 <3

I have two v crazy eyebrows that I don't rly know what to do with except ignore

Is this funny or what??

http://www.cbs.com/shows/2_broke_girls/video/ixxzv1IjatNFeVTFfLf80ttvtdtfQCxl/2-broke-girls-bears

Currently in my second week of grad school. All felt a bit overwhelming during the first week (re: the volume of material, the fact that every one else already has a head start on me due to my starting in the Winter semester and me being the new guy and all), but I'm already settling in and enjoying it. In class today, the prof who teaches my Renaissance Drama seminar made jokes about fisting and lube and told me that I need to see Paris is Burning (I checked it out of the library immediately after class).

Here's me in my cubicle in the Graduate Assistance office (already posted in the wdyll thread, but whatever):

http://i1091.photobucket.com/albums/i389/cryptosicko/Photoon2013-01-15at1204PM_zps0d285ef6.jpg

hi!

hey surm I am abt to watch "Girl, Interrupted" and it's making me think of you

that girl that angelina jolie played changed my life

i guess that's why she won an oscar for it

smoking? biting your nails? masturbating? all 3, simultaneously?

― fueled by satanism, violence, and sodomy (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, January 15, 2013 5:11 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

btw this is not as glamorous as it sounds, take it from me

speaking of hair, i started going to the black salon! i get it short and faded on the sides

i like it, it feels clean

i think i am going to go today

It's confirmed, NYC gays: I'll be in Manhattan on March 9 through the 12 for a convention. Flight's booked. I'd love to meet most of you.

i'll try not to be indisposed.

Bring your bed pan!

holy lol

Come to Philly!

Or I could maybe take the bus up.

dang, i need to make a nyc trip

no, philly. Everyone come visit me.

no one comes to chicago!

I am coming to Chicago when it's not -10 degrees! I am!

the coldest it's been so far this year is 19

i was actually planning on a visit this summer!

I came to Chicago when it was 104 degrees! Unknowingly ill!

There is this huge once-a-year faerie gathering going on this weekend with ppl from like NY and Providence and Tennessee and shit. I accidentally brought three people home last night and now my bed is totally covered in glitter (and also my roommate is probably pissed at me for waking him up) and it's that really, really tiny fine body glitter and I will prob never get rid of it and I FUCKING HATE GLITTER SO MUCH.

pace mariah, but i am with stevie on that

I accidentally brought three people home last night

how does this happen by accident

Four men in a bed with glitter is the kind of Clue game I couldn't play.

you need glitter specific sheets
and yeah glitter blows

My bf is lying in bed w me :) :)
We are working on computers and listening to "Dazzle Ships"

how does this happen by accident

― fueled by satanism, violence, and sodomy (elmo argonaut), Friday, January 18, 2013 10:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i934.photobucket.com/albums/ad184/sdolnack/idontknow2_zpse621466f.gif

i just spent like an hour making that btw

that is gorgeous thank you

what a hottie

haha

u guys

stevie this photo of miharu koshi reminds me of u

http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/66728666/Miharu+Koshi+PNG.png

oh my god yes yes yes

Is that a pump?

it is a pump and a hat

also real story is that a buncha ppl were at a bar post faerie potluck, I was sorta hangin w this out of town guy who I've known once before already who's staying somewhere much farther away than my house, and he was kinda wasted, and I was like "look, I live 10 blocks away, just come over", but apparently he had a (v hot) posse. On the walk home we held hands and sang "42nd Street" and talked about activism, and then he fell back and this other guy in the posse held my hand for a bit and told me how once we got home we were gonna ditch the other two (which did not exactly end up happening)

see! things are already looking up

u guys it's friday

Also I was totally not expecting comp'ny and my room was so horribly messy. I was mortified.

guys who aren't neat freaks are hot tbh

I am not a neat freak by any means but magazines and papers and clothes all over the floor and nightstand covered w clutter and general discombobulation is nagl

the only way to fight chaos is with chaos

nothing like sex on clean sheets tho

don't stay clean for long tho

i am the biggest neat freak ever it's so not sexxy

i'm a neat freak on the inside, in the sense that i stare at the piles of clothes on my floor and my unmade bed in a general state of dismay but then don't really do much about it

it's 54 degrees!

i am the biggest neat freak ever it's so not sexxy

oh yes it is

xx

unusual for miami? it's gonna climb to 70 today

it's barely 70 degrees now. WOO.

i want to tan, i'm very much in the mood to like be in a bathing suit that is a little too small

and get some color

bright orange swim trunksssssss

it's barely 70 degrees now. WOO.

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, January 18, 2013 9:41 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

reading this in #trinidadjamesvoice

Ooooh I took my bf out to "meet new friends in a new city" last night and it was a huge success.
We got home at 2am and I made him a flank steak w/bernaise and we slept the sleep of the righteous

damn, sleeping right after eating something good is something I could never manage.

i have been doing it too often lately

yay! glad the concert was good. sorry i was boring and went to do work after dinner.

i love cooking at 2am

one time i got home so late that my friend Aenora and I were starving. but there was like nothing in my parents house. except for strawberries. but we didn't have sugar, except for those cubes? so she started smashing the cubes on a plate, so we could have berries and sugar. she's like on her hands and knees, smashing sugar. i'm like yep this is pretty much what my weekends are like

Put some butter and a teaspoon of nice vinegar and a teaspoon of water in a pan, dissolve them cubes, caramelize them strawberries and see God

The show last night ran so late and I missed the headliner but R0llie played "Crack" and bf took to the slang immediately and this morning asked me to get him some do'nonuts

Boyfriend just delegated job of peeling potatoes to me

It didn't go wrong exactly but I seem to have reduced him to hysterical laughter and he won't tell me why :(

OTOH we've had a sorta-minibreak in the countryside and he's making Keralan fish curry for me and while doing so taking off his clothes while Milkshake is playing and I'm sprawled out on the sofa so I'm doing well otherwise

It didn't go wrong exactly but I seem to have reduced him to hysterical laughter and he won't tell me why :(

is there really a surprise here?

the surprise is the "it didn't go wrong" bit!

for me, i didn't go wrong
we just made another song.

A long-time friend just told me that he has two new jobs. He's working as an escort. He's also working as an Arbonne salesperson. Hmm.

I've never really had options like I do right now. It feels kind of powerful.

aw rev!

yes -- sex is power. And confidence. So happy for you!

:D

hey gays,

utterly charming physics student (graduate? he was losing his hair, tot hot on a 24yo) chatted me up at bar tonight. Then he left after 20 mins w/ his roommate, gave me a dry kiss.

I feel worse than if no one had spoken to me.

i know what you mean.

shoulda asked him to get a coffee sometime

he left in a hurry.

(I was playing the long game)

:( the pyramid scheme discussion got really real last night, with me explaining economics of it-- "you're making less through commission than your tip percentage would be as a bartender"-- "the salespeople are actually this enterprise's primary source of income, as their initial investment brings in more dollars than their later sales"-- until he was crying actual tears on my rug "you never support me" etc.

Re: the escorting job I was much more supportive

mustache: y or n

we would match so y

:D

i may wait until the temperature moves back into double digits