In every rom com ever

1. Gay best friend/minor character

2. Quirky, neurotic boss

3. Super Mario

3. Screaming fight

5. Character(s) who never quite grew up

6. Socially awkward guy gets advice from somewhat less awkward best friend, manages to get with girl for a little while before he ahs a self-conscious moment and feels inadequate, makes up for it at end with over-the-top show of affection in front of hundreds of spectators, gets nookie at end

9. Super Mario 2

8? Meg Ryan

22/7. Male lead character that the audience is supposed to root for despite being a complete fuck up, and the antagonist being a rival male who has the audacity to be a decent guy.

9. "Keep your power glove off of my girl" or its equivalent

10. (was going to say something to the effect of Nino's, but to add to it) said decent guy who the lead leaves is perfectly cool with it, even if he's left at the altar

11. Cameo by up and coming comedian who you won't remember was even in this film three year from now

12. Two romantic leads who meet each other under dire circumstances and hate each other, run into each other later and slowly fall in love due to sheer familiarity

lead goes over the plot of the movie w her best friend(s)

13. Couple who are friends with or related to the lead couple who are presented for contrast, a plot strand, or a cautionary tale

14. ice-skating

Ha good one, true

15. a Tony Bennett song

16. white ppl

17. A scene while male and female lead are briefly separated where lead male's irresponsible best friend takes him out for a night of debauchery which somehow ties into the film's ending

18. Cute/Ugly dogs

19. At least one reference to Bill Cosby

20. misunderstandings that increase in severity because the character is not given a chance to explain themselves

21. Super cute child of one of the prospective partners. The child speaks the truth about love that only children can see.

^^ good one xpost

22. if you're competing against Tom Hanks, Hugh Grant, John Cusack, or Paul Rudd, forget about it, bro

23. yelling in the rain

24. dad joekz

25. New York City

23 is v good too

26. 54% rating on Rotten Tomatoes

27. Couple's first sex is earthshaking.

28. Female lead has a 'secret' that male lead doesn't have time to listen to until it gets revealed publicly by someone the female lead used to know

29. Greg Kinnear totally gets a raw deal in the love triangle

30. Asshole/Bitch fiance.

31. (this is more a 'last 3 years' thing) Guy hears his woman on the toilet and it shatters his world

32. if you will only pursue love blindly and irrationally, the universe will (must?) reward you with True Love

33. Kate Hudson

^^^^ i was gonna say "Dane Cook" but Hollywood seems to be wising up on that and also I feared typing his name multiple times might have a Candyman-esque effect

34. Hugh Grant, stammering and sputtering

34b. unless it's Hugh Grant, Charming Asshole

35. Gerard Butler

36. at least one song that was played at proms in the 80s making an appearance somewhere in the film

(more of a late model thing) 37. Dirty Dancing and/or John Hughes references

38. lead male is musician who is struggling and writes a song for female lead at the end that wins her over

^^My friend just made a microbudget romcom that hinges on that very plot device!

39. following the cue of the male lead, everbody in a bar/restaurant join in an rousing acapella sing-a-long of some old Motown/early-'60s soft-pop song

40. female lead is endearingly clumsy

41. one of lead male's best friends is an unrepentant stoner and female says 'it's him or me'

42. climactic scene involves female or male lead frantically running (to climactic music) to catch/stop/say whatever to whomever, while ignoring the discouragements of friends and/or family along the way (although the Best Friend/Fiance may say "Go get 'er/'im")

43. scene preceding 42. involves old man/woman earnestly imploring lead that "if you ever find him/her... DON'T LET GO LIKE I DID" *cue Motown hit and running*

44. (9/11 kinda shut down this trope) Male lead frantically rushing to airport and catching plane that is about to board to stop woman from leaving

xpost hahahahaha

50. Super Mario 3

46. the film is bookended by old couple relating the story to their friends/kids/etc, sometimes with off-color comments/questions interspersed throughout

47. Old couple let it slip they still bone down.

^hahaha, always

48. the female lead is a bossy fusspot rom devoid of com.

49. Montage of leads going through a pile of their undies in search of the perfect pair for the "big date".

50. Protagonists live in inexplicably lavish Manhattan apartment, despite the fact they never seem to go to work and have weeks of free time to play videogames/reminisce about classic rock/agonise over relationships

51. Wearing pyjamas (and full make-up), eating icecream directly from tub

52. Female lead makes terrible faux pas at work, results in hilarity and shagging the boss rather than instant dismissal on grounds of gross incompetence.

53. Running through a hospital/shopping mall

54. Grumpy older sister

55. 30 year olds playing teenagers and/or 60 year olds playing parents of teenagers

56. guy who knows everything about women and is willing to sell his services but later finds out that the one relationship problem he can fix is *record scratch*...his own

I mean uh,, can't

57. baby delivered by confused and comically inept hijacker

58. STIs

59. home-made pube artwork sent to female lead

60. elephants

61. somebody falling out of a hot air balloon over a senior citizens' picnic

62. OLD LADY WHO SWEARS

63. sustained bloody violence

64. Joe Dallesandro

65. sentimental love scene and final "i love you" moment has lots of maybes in it to denote awkwardness

66. during the inevitable "temporary breakup" scene the man shacks up with a much younger and more attractive woman but isn't happy deep down because she doesn't have a jar of tears or make random honking noises

67. voices warble as chance of love seems slim - declaration must happen at end of physically exerting process, exacerbating this - "i LOVE youuu, I've -gasp- ALWAYS -gasp- loved you..."

68. Gratuitous fart joke to appeal to "the guys"

69. during the temporary breakup the glum female lead goes to her parents' house where her slim energetic mother is painting something.

70. Double dates

71. Main character winds up with nearly all his possessions that he's worked his entire life for destroyed; doesn't care

72. Casting by Lynn Stalmaster & Associates

73. erratic and tempestuous 20-somethings live happily ever after

well I think we have enough, let's start shooting tomorrow

49. Montage of leads going through a pile of their undies in search of the perfect pair for the "big date".

I have never, ever seen this in a movie

to clarify, is it the girl or the guy doing this

xpost -- You're looking at the wrong sites.

just the idea of Gerard Butler pawing through a gigantic pile of boxers is ruining my day :-(

"ahhh burn em all, i'll freeball it tonight"

Gerard Butler IS... Goin' Commando

lol underwear montage

I guess Jennifer Aniston'd have to be in this one, she's used to the ol Gerard-box by now

74. incredibly attractive but not very famous actress plays the female lead's dateless best friend whose love life is never mentioned

you can just say Leslie Mann

lol

75. guy acts as the "Date Whisperer" for female friend to help her find the perfect guy, until both realize *it was him all along* (twinkle)

76. mahjong compilations

i was thinking more Judy Greer actually

77. fan translated JRPG

49. Montage of leads going through a pile of their undies in search of the perfect pair for the "big date".

I have never, ever seen this in a movie

i think i've seen montages of characters posing in front of a mirror in different changes of underwear tho? or maybe scenes where the character is putting on cologne or perfume as a final touch-up and after a moment's consideration sprays a shot down their underwear. either way it's an indication that they've decided tonight's the big night when sexing is finally gonna happen b/c they're making themselves presentation-ready for when the clothes come off.

78. Unnaturally bright, clear lighting with no shadows.

79. comedy sequence involving lead actor and obviously fake dog

80. lead female cannot wear glasses unless she's currently reading a book or writing her blog

81. felching

82. Space cows

81. felching

― non-elitist melted poo (Noodle Vague), Friday, January 11, 2013 11:51 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

do you watch these at an unmarked theatre that smells of sweat and fluids?

83. Small jewellery box turns out not to contain engagement ring.

84. Awful score with a lot of whimsical plucked strings.

85. Stalking pays.

86. Montage of trying on dresses/hats/outfits set to snappy pop song

87. Running late for job/date/bus & runs somewhere holding a pastry in mouth and/or putting on high heels mid-stride

88. Gigantic, stylish inner city loft apartment that lead actor/actress clearly could not afford irl

89. Reveals secret shame of loving (x) type of music (ie finds cd in car/catches them dancing) which awww actually brings the two love interests closer together

*which is almost always never an embarrassing reveal

90. Seemingly well-adjusted couple, close friends of the protagonist(s), who suddenly find it necessary to seriously re-examine their own relationship. Their realization that everything's just fine just happens to coincide with the protagonist(s) finding love.

91. shocking betrayal and months of estrangement completely repaired by a charming coincidence and a 90-second speech

92. Montage showing loser/nutcase/psycho dates they go on when seperated.

93. bewbs

94. Scene where buff male lead takes his top off and girl catches this accidentally and suddenly becomes interested.

or vice versa as seen in 'Desperately Seeking Susan'.

95. Mel Gibson's butt

re:89 The artist is almost always Foreigner.

96. Actress keeps bra on during sex scene.

haha

97. (this applies to newer movies) Food Trucks, food trucks, and more Food trucks.

98. seemingly forced to choose between love and career, protagonist learns they really can have it all, usually w/ promotion.

98a. gruff superior unexpectedly explains that he/she wishes there had been more time made for love and family

99. a lake house

100. Actor shoots hoops/Actress does yoga...narrative pushed along by dialog during these activities.

101. Sound on soundtrack that is famous iconic pop song but this version is a cover from a no-name act

102. Soundtrack cribbed from "Deliah After Dark" playlists.

103. montage cutting back and forth between her and him both discussing each other with their gfs/bros

104. (spoken through tears) "I dnn't know what I want anymore!"

"I DON'T", even.

105. someone is a chef

lol

106. (Nu-era trope) Old, washed-up celeb makes cameo as themself and makes fun of their real life persona

107. Kaizo Mario World

is there a joke I'm missing with these posts ^^^

I'm assuming "rom" is like a rom file, like what you download to play pirated video games? Seems like a reach though.

108. www.doperoms.com

109. apple product placement

110. best friend unusually interested in getting other friend laid.

that's not what besties do? welp, i guess i don't need to make any friends after all.

I'm talking more like movies like American Pie where Stiffler seems like he'll die if his other friends don't put their Ps in a V

tbf though one of the characters does reference that in that movie!

111. http://alarm-magazine.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/The_Locust-680x455.jpg

112. Female lead concludes on-stage rehearsal of either theater scene or music number. From shadows of auditorium, a slow-clap and "Bravo!" from either long-lost friend/relative or evil love interest. Female lead's eyes search the darkness for source.

113. Male lead runs through airport to reconcile with female lead before she boards a plane

114. Female lead wants to get married but can't discuss the topic with boyfriend, waits endlessly until he "pops the question"

96. Actress keeps bra on during sex scene.

― Big Sambola & The Tailspinners (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, January 12, 2013 4:05 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

glad to see that stalking has already been mentioned

115. Male and female leads always of the same ethnicity

.............white?

lemme guess

116. Female lead works in marketing/publishing/media industry

or is a kindergarten teacher, either way she has a luxurious manhattan loft as mentioned previously

117. Male lead is an architect

118. WINE

or doctor xp

119. Minor issue at 70-minute mark gets blown up into a relationship crisis, because that's what the screen-writing manual said to do

120. "wanna come in?" / "no, i'd better get home"

39. following the cue of the male lead, everbody in a bar/restaurant join in an rousing acapella sing-a-long of some old Motown/early-'60s soft-pop song

― Chris S, Friday, January 11, 2013 12:59 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i've never actually seen this but i am just going to assume:

39a. Cutaway to the "wrong" guy/gal: they don't know the words and are either faking it badly or looking annoyed at all the carrying-on.

121. FEDORAS

122. Somebody is wearing sunglasses and either slides them down their nose or dramatically takes them off to get a good look at someone else.

123. pouting

Flowers in the woman’s bedroom

125. Sparse vinyl collections and entry-level turntables displayed in the residences of lead characters

126. Anything resembling comedy disappears in the last 30 minutes of the film.

Haha I've been noticing #125 in various TV shows of the '70s and '80s: Mary Tyler Moore, Dallas, Miami Vice. Signifying that the character is kind of hip adjacent, living in the contemporary world, but not trying too hard; not some kind of geeky collector or audio freak.

127. Therapist seems to really want to wrap up the session without really offering much help

128. Protagonist pours heart out in a tight close-up

CUT TO:

Dumbstruck Clerk: "Sir/Ma'am, this is a Wendy's."

129. Prelude showing our heroine as a little girl playing with dolls and dollhouse, possibly conducting doll wedding as a period-appropriate pop song plays on soundtrack and is crossfaded with a new cover of said song as we transition to present day and learn that girl grew up to be a beautiful fuckup.

130. Uptempo Pop song plays under "Protagonists get their lives together" montage

Leaves

I saw a pull-quote that said Materialists is a mediation, or an update, or something on romantic comedies, so I'll post here.

Messy, but overall I liked it--I'm sure it benifitted from The Phoenician Scheme being the last film I saw, simply by virtue of it having some grounding in the actual world.

Good: 1) Dakota Johnson. No idea who she was in The Social Network, but otherwise I think the first time I've ever seen her. She's 35, maybe too late to become a big star, but watching her here for me reminded me of watching Sandra Bullock three decades ago in The Net: whatever was going on, all my attention was on her. Bullock was 31 at the time, so maybe I'm wrong--Hollywood famously tough on actresses.

2) The soundtrack. So as not to spoil any surprises: the Ronettes/Johnny Thunders/Velvet Underground in succession was pretty great. Thought I recognized Harry Nilsson's voice, and I was right--a song I didn't know but made me think of "Everybody's Talkin'." And--if I read the credits correctly--a good Iris DeMent duet over the end credits.

3) A minute late in the film: nothing happens, no one's talking, just beautiful cinematography and nice music as Johnson and Evans crash a wedding party.

4) A happy ending. I like happy endings.

Not good: 1) Lots of speechifying about love. Some resonated, some missed. But a lot.

2) I thought the scene where Sophie L. turned on Lucy was ridiculous. The purpose seemed to be to cast a sinister shadow over Lucy's job, or at least to suggest this was another and equally valid way to view what she did. (Do matchmaking agencies actually exist in the age of the internet? Probably--no idea.) But the idea that Lucy somehow failed to do due diligence in her screening process--especially when we know how much she cares about her clients--wasn't credible at all.

3) The revelation about Harry that seemed to jolt Lucy out of their relationship. Very gimmicky.

But I do recommend the film. Even the farfetched moments, I was still engaged.

Didn't make the connection at all--Dakota Johnson was the coed who's just spent the night with Sean Parker the first time we meet him, the woman who introduces him to "the Facebook." She was great in that scene.

"Yet I'm still eager to see what Song does next because there's excitement in engaging with a misfire from a strong director who is still early in their career."

From an NPR review...I'll take exception with the word "misfire"--I think it's better than that--but I think that captures well what I liked about the film: that Celine Song's next film could go anywhere.

Social Network=herfirst proper film role.

A little while later Johnson had a terrific small role in The Five-Year Engagement as a bitchy millennial airhead girlfriend of Jason Segal.

They have great breakup scene, where I imagine she was directed to just go off on him for ten minutes and they kept her best improvs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUj8t9WOOS4

Bringing me to:

131. After they break up, our protagonists have brief rebound relationships with very hot partners who also happen to be awful people.

Also meant to mention: had no idea who her famous parents were!

20. misunderstandings that increase in severity because the character is not given a chance to explain themselves

― absolvents (electricsound), Friday, January 11, 2013 12:05 AM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink

28. Female lead has a 'secret' that male lead doesn't have time to listen to until it gets revealed publicly by someone the female lead used to know

― NINO CARTER, Friday, January 11, 2013 12:10 AM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink

132. In final act, "I tried to tell you!"

The Materialists (which this seems to be the only real mention of on ILX) isn't that well served by considering it a romcom, in fairness, though I can see why it was marketed as such.

Clemenza's negative #2: "But the idea that Lucy somehow failed to do due diligence in her screening process--especially when we know how much she cares about her clients--wasn't credible at all". Well, the film seems to be very clear that she didn't do due diligence - she goes back to her notes on him, and they're salesman points, how she'll push this product on to someone. That's probably the key switch in the film, where she realises that she's been working at "tick all the boxes and it will take care of itself" but she's been selling it as "This is an excellent human being that you will be happy with", and that disconnect has gotten someone badly harmed. (also Mark is her client too?)

Clemenza's negative #3: "The revelation about Harry that seemed to jolt Lucy out of their relationship. Very gimmicky." - they do mention it earlier in the film, and crucially it's not actually the jolt - she's been thinking about what other stuff might be under the surface (like there was with Mark) and when she finds out this bizarre fact and realises she doesn't actually feel any different about him, that's what jolts her. It's not happening separately from the rest of the film, like.

There's a Sarah Jaffe Substack post about the film (she loved it) that makes the point that it's an incredibly baller move to hire someone as charismatic as Pedro Pascal and get him to turn it all the way down - I was a little disconcerted by how, the less he glows, the more he resembles Miles Teller.