Who Cares: The 2013 Australian Federal Election Thread

226 short campaign days to go

http://images.smh.com.au/2013/01/30/3992365/julia300-300x340.jpg

speccy jules, today

is she a president

is she running against some protofascist aboriginal-disenfranchising prude? Who was that one guy you had? I hear the weather is nice.

they are both pretty terrible so

Thats a Bobs Burgers caricature level pic of dear presidant. Unfortnate, not that I'm defending her. I'm a labour voter and wish I could but fuck off with the reduction of funding to single mothers and state schools AARGH

so do you guys want to borrow Dr. Morbius?

not to mention destroying marriage equality xp

If Morbs could hold a legitemate argument against left wing aus politics knowing what he's talking about, I'd welcome it. I'm not kidding. I respect anyone who takes the time.

left wing aus politics is such a bag of shit that he's welcome to it imo

Yeah morbs' scorched earth approach is highly warranted when it comes to oz politics.

Suggest abolishing government, replace with quasi-parliamentary system whose participants are the last 150 people Newspolled in "Western" "Sydney".

http://24.media.tumblr.com/eb8d16058ad1a3abc39c37d766f53606/tumblr_mhgi4oUyTA1qh5c1so1_1280.jpg

~discourse~

lol at "best news" brag on the Age

'we can print "Sept 14" in a more authoritative font than any other source'

The actual Herald Sun front cover is better, something like "Australia's babies on red alert".

Why isnt Andrew Blot dead yet btw

because

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OjsF2uFlXws/UCm8w60hOAI/AAAAAAAAN-M/x5bSfE2XyQ0/s1600/andrew%2Bbolt%2Bself-portrait.jpg

...we won’t shirk the hard decisions, such as being up front with people that the Schoolkids Bonus will go – because it’s a cash splash with borrowed money that has nothing to do with education,” Mr Abbott told the audience.

Damn those poor kids and their buying of uniforms and school camps and textbooks, how dare they.

Fuuuck I should not be reading this transcript of his pressclub speech. I want to shreik CITE! At every weaselly lie.

"Australia was a stronger society because we had a stronger economy. Between 1996 and 2007, real wages increased more than 20 per cent, real household wealth per person more than doubled, and there were more than two million new jobs.

Since then, real household wealth has declined, productivity has stagnated and 2011 was the first year since 1992 without a net increase in jobs."

HEY TONES THERE WAS THIS LITTLE THING CALLED THE GFC I DONNO MAYBE U HEARD OF IT OR SOMETHING.

they're happy with 'borrowed money' when it's falsely inflating an untenable property market

I love how he proudly bleats about how orrsome Job Network was. Like fuck i was. I had to use that program at one point while on the dole. It got me a remarkable zero leads for work. No interviews. Nothing. They had no idea how to hadle jobseekers who were actually skilled professionals - they didt even have an IT category! It wasted my fucking time having to show up to the damn things AND spend time seeing recriters/Seek etc.

gah typos galore, I need a new laptop.

they're happy with 'borrowed money' when it's falsely inflating an untenable property market

Shh, don't mention that. It's not the most important issue facing a bunch of people today, certainly not... surely brown people on boats taking our jobs is more important than THAT.

THIS. Why is nothing being done about the fucking cost of fucking housing in this country? Shitsnacks, we pay NYC prices for housing in the major cities. I'll never afford to own even a flat. It toads the wet sprocket.

No party currently in Parliament has any plans of doing anything about housing affordability, and each one actually has beliefs that actively work against people who aren't on "the ladder of opportunity" getting on it - all they do is pull it up behind them. It genuinely is the most important human rights AND economics issue facing the country. Oh no, you can't build that medium-density housing in this area that's perfect for it because of amenities, it'll reduce the value of my home, and it's the government's job to protect my investment. But not other people's, luvvy.

Indeed. NIMBYism and "I got mine mate, fuck you" attitudes are so rife. It angries up the blood.

...christ I have got to stop using Simpsons/Futurama quotes in everything I post.

Like curently the Vic govt are looking at selling off the parklands/playgrounds around some of the inner city housing estates to build SHOPS. As if Brunswick st needs more shops when half the ones there are empty as it is. FFS.

If I were dictator, these are the first people against the wall:

People who introduced the first home buyer's grant
People who believe in the free market for everyone else but think government's should protect their investment (home value)
People who think fucking ugly old buildings that use shitloads more energy are "heritage" when they should be bulldozed and replaced with apartments
People who block public transport and public space developments

governments, not government's

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRq4QREq8F_voRiVmkhR-986bmXvE-fB617GeQ-Ivbs25zaTZjbHA

NEWSFLASH, WE ARE NOT IN ANY DANGER OF RUNNING OUT OF THESE THINGS.

Eh, I'm on the fence wrt heritage protection. I like old buildings! And tbh a lot of new apartments are built so cheaply and badly that the energy usage/enviro concerns arent always allayed. Its an interesting challop tho :)

Know where some of the most wasteful, old, uninsulated dwellings are? Bandt country - the inner northern suburbs of Melbourne. Okay, it's mostly because they're renters, but it's an interesting irony.

I've made like five posts in this thread without calling Tony Abbott a cunt, so I've got to do something about that. Tony Abbott is a cunt.

I WANT TO PRINT OUT WALLOGINA.JPG AND SEND IT TO HIM, WITH AN ARROW POINTING TO ONE OF THE GINAS SAYING "YOU" ON IT

I <3 u EdO

THo now I just had a horrible vision of a "wallogina" being a wall of this:

http://www.themonthly.com.au/files/imagecache/home_content_listing_large_thumbnail/Whatginawants-a.jpg

Do you think there is a shortage of inner urban apartment developments in melbourne edward?

I certainly dislike privileged suburban nimbyism, but it seems to me that (new) supply is outstripping demand, at least here.

Though a lot of that may be b/c of a mismatch between where people want to live and where large apartment blocks can be built now (other than south yarra/prahran/docklands). Enormous apartment blocks going up in South Preston and no-one's buying, perhaps because they're marketing to young professionals who think the world ends about 6.5k north of the city.

actually lol at me for implying people want to live in docklands

Tim thats a good point, but the problem is they're all overpriced apartments and often pretty pissy for the price (tiny, badly built). I'm not surprised they arent selling. Also haha yes Docklands urgh what an urban planning disaster thats been.

My comment about there being not enough _affordable_ urban development is a Sydney-centric gripe.

tbf when I nearly took a job in Melbs two years ago I actually considered Docklands as that's where work would have been!

If I were dictator, these are the first people against the wall:

adding:

- people who bitch and moan at the *TINY TINY* national debt because debt is a bad thing, yet in the same breath nag the hell out of ME (yes ME actual ME) to take out a 25yr home loan on a $700k house

^^^^ that, a hundred times.
THOSE PEOPLE. Most of whom probably bought a few houses at 30k each and now earn that on each one as a rental.

btw if there were genuinely a housing shortage here, this is what would happen

http://www.eveandersson.com/photos/south-africa/cape-town-township-khayelitsha-30-large.jpg

and that is not happening

THOSE PEOPLE. Most of whom probably bought a few houses at 30k each and now earn that on each one as a rental.

dead set they are fucking evangelists. they bought a house back when they were $150k (roughly 30% of annual income) and just expect that we can afford to drop 4–5 times that despite wages not going up anything like 4–5 times, and they nag and nag and nag and nag and nag and nag and nag

WEll sure, but people who want to buy are forced to rent. When in a healthy market, people who want to buy should be able to buy, while those who want to rent would continue to rent.

x-post

wtf did i leave that '30% of annual income' figure in the post for, ignore ignore xp

precisely

300%?

300% pure love.

and yet here we are, life renters, because (a) it's affordable, (b) we can save/invest the difference between rent and mortgage payments on the same place (which is seriously 200-250% extra) and (c) because gillard, rudd, swan, howard, costello and keating farm cocks

by that i mean if you rent a place for $400/wk, if you were to buy the same place it'd cost $1200+/wk in mortgage payments

btw we did a stack of ~accountant~ research and discovered that you get tax kickbacks up the goona if you rent out a property to someone else, but if you live in your own house you get fa

i'm angrier than usual because i am unwell and all the windows are leaking

To most people - housing: essential, human right. POlicy is geared towards treating it as any other non-essential commodity, when there are really compelling social and economic reasons to make it affordable to own your own. There are thousands of people who don't want to live in the big cities but feel compelled to, for instance.

I mean, there's a job going in Melbs I'd be perfect for and would have a good chance of getting. The thought of ditching rental life and moving down to, say, Geelong (where the majority of the fam will be in six months anyway) is pretty tempting at times.

what's amazing is how quickly we went from ~the great australian dream~ to germany-style renting is the norm. a major difference is germans don't have their entitled parents hassling their kids to drop 600 kiloeuros on a bedsit in alexanderplatz

xp geelong is definitely better than it used to be but you'd be tied to owning one car per person, and there's only one train line (which you may have heard is not reliable because melbourne)

oh hai gillard, rabbit, these are ~the real issues~, not boats

I may have spent several months in 2010/2011 commuting Geelong to Elsternwick for work, so I am quite familiar with that. I don't drive, so I'm fairly relaxed about slow trains.

ah k

Tho I'm pretty happy with my rental situation tbh, the unit I live in is massive and a bargain for its size and price. Because I'm only on a contract til end of the year it suits -- if situation changed and buying was what I wanted, I'd be stupid pissed about prices. My annoyance at housing affordability is actually NOT selfish right now!

yeah, we won't be buying either (it doesn't make sense in an inflated market)

it is amazing how the very people who are terrified of inflation in every other area (currency, grocery prices etc) just sort of sit and gawp at property hyperinflation like it's perfectly fine. i know it's because they're investors but the hypocrisy is incredible. it also reinforces how incredibly out of touch both major political parties are—most people i know (many quite well off) can't buy into housing and are pissed off about it.

...which brings us round to how soundly democracy is failing

okay, democracy in itself is not failing, but the part about representing every person is failing. another thing about all the people i know is that many of them are disengaged from politics beyond the gladiatorial/spectator sport aspect of it all, because they're being ignored

Oh it's the usual, we have the two closest-together major parties in Western democracy, but the most rabidly partisan, tribal voters.. it was bound to happen. Why are we surprised.

john faulkner keeps telling the alp they've lost touch with the people but they're all 'DUDE SHUT UP, WE'RE TRYING TO RUN THIS WESTERN SYDNEY FOCUS GROUP'

xp the tribalism is utterly utterly whacked. i don't get it. i do not get it. i'm also sick of people who are bolt-on howard lickers accusing me of being a labor shill because i'm not as extreme as they are. it's not even possible to have your own opinions where those people are concerned. if your values don't align perfectly with one of the two majors, you're lying to hide something. that's what amounts to discourse these days.

get a blog adam

oh also there's this thing where gillard/swan might say e.g. 'we will increase family benefits slightly' and the murdoch press runs this with a straight face

http://www.independentaustralia.net/Wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/australian-budget-front-cover_090512125211.jpg

and there goes analysis, out the window

Labor would do better if it professed some level of pride in the product it's selling. Dudes, you've won more elections than you've lost since the eighties, the country is not rabidly against you as an insittution, so quit acting like the last 30 years of history are some kind of clerical error. Oh and Liberals, get some fucking policies, you fuckfaces.

seriously, if murdoch were dead and the profit-haemorrhaging news ltd had been allowed to fall on its arse 40 years ago, we wouldn't be having this race to the right

anyway thanks for listening, i'm of the high horse for the time being

http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/zQAHjDwYq6U/mqdefault.jpg

xp utterly utterly otm. labor has deserted itself along with its support base. no narrative, no consistency, gillard doesn't even respond to the party majority (e.g. marriage equality, which the party officially supports)

Other things I would do if I was dictator: execute everyone involved in Q&A - please note, getting partisans from every side to argue with each other is not balanced, it is retarded.

Marriage equality is... uh.. I've got fatigue about the issue. Yes, it'd be nice, but it seems that small-l liberals these days don't do anything to come up with solutions to other problems that need some good progressive thinking. It's all "oh of course I'm a progressive, I believe in gay marriage, and.. I like refugees!". Okay, great, get out there and do some shit to solve some of the easier problems (i.e. gay marriage is all very well and good and I support it, but it mostly benefits the stable, well-to-do in the gay community anyway. Whereas the ones who are discriminated against in the workplace and can't get affordable housing and who have health problems... uh. less so, sorry that was a parenthetical too far)

yeah, nobody ever becomes more informed by watching that inferno of people screaming and tweet-screaming xp

what's amazing is how quickly we went from ~the great australian dream~ to germany-style renting is the norm. a major difference is germans don't have their entitled parents hassling their kids to drop 600 kiloeuros on a bedsit in alexanderplatz

that, and no faeces inspection shelf

mmmm faeces

the two things that really grate with me re marriage equality are

1. it's incredibly incredibly easy to rectify (really, it is an actual administrative change, it's not even a constitutional matter)
2. unlike all the other major 'issues' gracing murdoch's front pages, there's very seriously no valid argument against marriage equality (e.g. at least with boats you can reasonably argue that smugglers are cruel/deceitful/murderous, with carbon tax you can reasonably argue that it doesn't work to solve the core issue or hit the right targets, etc)

(obv i mean the fact of it being an issue is what grates with me, not the equality itself)

Those two things are true. The simplicity of it is the #1 argument. But it's not a magic wand, and gay people will face far bigger issues even after it's resolved in favour of equality - largely because of bigger societal causes that are also the cause of gay marriage not being legal. Marriage inequality is a symptom of a bigger thing.

oh it really is, and the everyday discrimination pales in comparison, but the fact remains that it's p much the only major inequality that's easy to fix

that, and no faeces inspection shelf

cbf checking right now but i'd almost put money on germany having a lower incidence of bowel cancer

maybe... but a shelf!!

Affordable new apartments are tricky though - in the absence of direct govt investment at any rate. Like restaurants etc you're talking about a massive investment upfront on a bet about what the market will bear in future. Some developments are wildly profitable but the risk is high enough that people will only go in on an apartment block venture if they've convinced themselves wild profits are in the offing. This is (one reason) why they're expensive - most of them then drop into negative equity for several years so as an investment proposition they're pretty poor, which is why that market is dominated by foreign investment.

what is that whining coming from the other room, oh it's 'Christopher Pyne', brb after I destroy the television

that guy

every single person who 'likes' pyne falls within a clean subset of the murdoch readership

Yeah Pyne awful as always

twitter is saying he's still butthurt about losing the last election

the affordable housing thing is... vexed to say the least. was talking to someone from the community housing org that I rent my place from, he's fine with negative gearing for example where I thought he might not have been. having written about it for a while in a past life, everybody in affordable housing has their own idea on the problem, and everyone else is wrong.

basically all reasons mentioned so far in this thread play a part in the housing clusterfuck to varying degrees.

i'm sure they do

although surely the one indisputable fact is that housing is inflated

no you're thinking of 'bouncing castles'

you can't LIVE in them

you can't bounce in a house, what's your point

look I concede that there are ways around that

Argh my last post looks a bit triumph of capitalism, didn't mean it that way, more that expensive housing is a clusterfuck with many participants and I don't think there are really straightforward single answers that a govt can deploy short of compulsorily acquiring the fuck out of Australia and giving it all to the worthy.

backing out of increased channels for foreign investors, toning down incentives to buy a million properties per person, balancing out tax breaks for living in own home v putting on rental market

but then all the people who just killed themselves to enter the market will get the shits on when their investment declines in value, even by 0.5% in a year

Economic slowdown is the bigger issue politically I think. Like, that combination of policies would basically freeze the property development industry.

That doesn't particularly bother me but I can see why it would be political death.

something will buckle at some point. current prices are not tenable in the long term: inner city prices aren't likely to drop much but the fringe could easily collapse, even on a 3% interest rate increase. the whole thing's like a game of jenga at this point.

xp yeah, the rich people who determine aus governments would just favour the party that's more sympathetic

Yeah but fringe McMansions are already more vulnerable price wise - luckily those developers can lobby liberal govts to rezone rural land they already bought for super cheap.

the developers have it sewn up, it's the poor sods with three kids and only just managing at 5% pa or whatever who'll lose everything when it hits 7%

the popular argument is that we won't ever see 17% again because it'd bankrupt the whole country, but that's predicated on (a) an hilarious fantasy notion that the government would never allow that to happen because ~magic~ and (b) that the traditionally reliable boom-bust property cycle has suddenly and ~magically~ gone away and will never happen again

i.e. short memories

The first part of your para is correct I think but not for reasons (a) or (b); rather because we're so geared that even minor shifts in interest rates have massive impacts on consumption (hence killing inflation). If we massively degeared the reserve bank would need to use bigger interest rate swings to have an effect. Of course whether a massive property bust could occur is a different question.

ie if an economic meltdown occurs I don't think interest rates will be the culprit

I was thinking defaults on loans (and that's assuming interest rates would go up for other reasons that would contribute to a meltdown)

We should use this thread to blue-sky politically suicidal policies that exist in our dreams.

xpost oh yeah heaps of loan defaults - but I think even 10% interest rates would wipe out yr new suburbs, hardly need 17% these days.

guys, i worked out how newspoll works: "GILLARD’S A DICK GILLARD’S A DICK GILLARD’S A DICK GILLARD’S A DICK GILLARD’S A DICK GILLARD’S A DICK GILLARD’S A DICK GILLARD’S A DICK GILLARD'S A CORRUPT MOLL GILLARD'S A LIAR GILLARD'S A LYING BITCH LIAR LIAR JULIAR JULIAR JULIAR JULIAR JULIAR JULIAR JULIAR what do you think of julia gillard?"

Guys there's no such thing as a property bubble, that's crazy talk

for those who may have missed bob katter riding a fixie dot com, http://bobkatterridingafixie.com/

I'm coming here for my election comment from now on

excellent, welcomr

e

One thing did occur to me - political cartoonists would prefer Abbott wouldn't they? More comedy gold to be had there.

unless they really enjoy drawing long noses

packs of cunce seem to enjoy drawing her with a 'hilarious' huge arse

surprised she's not getting polka dots and a vacuum cleaner tbh

hay guys been away overseas for two weeks; have I missed anything??

Tony Abbott is "Australia's biggest bulls--t artist", according to a cabinet minister who today used blistering language to defend the Government's carbon pricing scheme.

"There's no other way to put it. You might as well call it as it is. He's wrong about everything," Climate Change Minister Greg Combet told reporters in Canberra today.

ahahaha hopefully the prediction about Combet becoming opposition leader in the case of an ALP loss does true

* does come true

** but hopefully doesn't because that means PM Abbott

*** I choose to think positively

guys guys guys I'm worried about the Australian press; I haven't seen a new story about KEVIN RUDD in two hours!!

Admittedly it is 2.38am on a Sunday morning but it seems like News and Fairfax may have finally run out of Kevin Rudd stories.

as long as i) he draws breath, ii) he has hacks like hartcher and grattan in his speed dial, there will never be a true end to kevin rudd stories

murdoch tabloids' reddit-baiting website has outdone itself again

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2010/06/04/1225875/622173-kevin-rudd.gif

waht site

"news" dot com dot au

- rudd introduces mining superprofits tax
- murdoch conspires to destroy him
- gillard softens mining tax
- it is not effective
- murdoch conspires to destroy her

- people continue to trust murdoch papers
- i just

Today's The Australian is astonishing, there must be 20 or 25 separate articles complaining about the awfulness of the govt, interrupted only by complaining even more vehemently about the greens.

on form then

i love how news ltd simultaneously (1) insists the oz is not biased and (2) acknowledges that it's a consistently loss-making paper that's been on life support for like 35 years

they have never acknowledged that!

through earnings statements iirc

One day they'll have to bite the bullet and replace it with, er, Rupert's Twitter feed.

http://www.crikey.com.au/2012/04/04/rundle-latest-on-the-hacking-scandal-by-guest-correspondent-rupert/

old man yells at the cloud

you've been saving that haven't you

would you believe no

http://www.nationaltimes.com.au/opinion/politics/labor-has-lost-the-plot-and-the-narrative-20130221-2eua9.html

waleed aly spewing reams of otm re the fact of labor's existence being completely pointless

labor is in the shit because it has no ideology, no story and not even any internal consistency

don't worry, Rudd has a policy and he'll sort it all out

his policy is I AM KING

An ideology AND a story

he's here to halp

Labor is in crisis, but not principally for the reasons that occupy the commentariat.

red flag goes up when member of the commentariat starts detailing reasons that aren't the concern of the commentariat

practically everything said there can be applied to the coalition, even more so considering how often the nats practically spreadeagle themselves at the libs' mercy while ignoring the needs of their own base

new ten ceo is a news corp executive

not sure why we fucking bother with democracy tbh

practically everything said there can be applied to the coalition, even more so considering how often the nats practically spreadeagle themselves at the libs' mercy while ignoring the needs of their own base

― chubby checker (euphemism) (haitch), Friday, 22 February 2013 2:01 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is true in one sense - obviously the Libs generally have no firm moral values except to reduce taxes on business and the middle classes up, and the belief that economic growth is the panacea tide that lifts all ships - but in another very prosaic sense Waleed is correct, in that whereas the population of people who don't really care what a govt stands for so long as it stands for low taxes (and economic growth) is always increasing, the population of people who actually believe in what labor stands for is always decreasing (i.e. the people who believe in welfare, the environment etc. are increasingly becoming "natural" greens voters rather than labor voters per se; very few people believe let alone believe in labor's current balancing act).

Labor is balanced on the top of a mountain between voters to the left and voters to the right, and the point on which they stand becomes smaller every day.

So Labor's problem is that there is basically no-one who is ever really happy with any of the policies they announce. This is why they they seem to lack integrity/purpose/vision, because every policy is a calculation and a compromise, an attempt to be all things to (at least) 51% of the population. This is a much bigger problem than just the individuals involved: people may dislike Julia but I think the party would have the same basic issue if they were led by a more naturally engaging and trustworthy-seeming leader (whether its Bill Shorten or Tanya Plibersek, say). It's an issue of demography as much as anything else.

Whereas the libs seem more credible as a party per se (leaving aside the repugnance of their politics and policies), because a lot of their policies are squarely pitched to their base in any event, and then they just have to dress that up with consensus building around the edges. Indeed the policies which they announce but don't really believe in (an obvious one being their policy on parental leave) stand out as such, whereas it's hard to think of a single area of labor policy where you could say "yes, this is non-negotiable for them".

The point on the nationals is a good one but I think it answers itself: the entire reason for the periodic flair-up of rightwing cultural politics meets protectionist leftwing economic policies in the country (i.e. one nation / bob katter's australia party) is that is that the national party's base habitually feel the same sort of resentment towards it that labor's base feels towards labor.

Whereas it's very very very rare to ever find a self-identified liberal party voter (as opposed to a swinging voter or former democrats voter) who is largely unhappy with the libs from a policy perspective (though some may dislike Tony Abbott personally).

you have just said heaps of otm but i want to focus on labor's lack of leadership and vision.

part of the benefit of leading effectively (rather than using focus groups to reactively target 51% of voters) is that you're pushing an exciting, tangible and beneficial concept that resonates with people as they come to understand it.

as an example (completely out of my arse), let's say bill shorten gets in and says 'right, fuck the surplus fetishism, we will chuck this much money into public transport, federalise the urban infrastructure and deliver x new services to y people at z level of comfort by 2020! 2020!!' initially you'll have the usual murdoch wankfest leap in and scream like an only child about national debt, communists, choked motorways &c., but people will start to get excited about a national initiative that directly benefits them, the '2020' billboards will appear, '2020' bumper stickers will become ubiquitous (q.v. a thing malaysia did in the late '80s iirc), and gradually any dissent is crushed under the weight of a unified vision that gives the whole urban collective something to look forward to. any moaning by the opposition would be met by (a) what the fuck did you do when you were in office and (b) shut the hell up and don't jeopardise our exciting new future of sitting down on the train. suddenly reactive focus groups don't make any sense because you're taking control of the narrative and creating a whole new unified aspiration.

by contrast, this current mob started with rudd having a crack at a similar type of national vision (the nbn), but (a) speedier internets are not really an immediately beneficial concept that most of the country can conceptualise and (b) it's too easy for non-technologists to deride the nbn when addressing other non-technologists. there was also the education revolution, which promised to fix a problem that really didn't exist. and now there's fuck-all vision, fuck-all passion and fuck-all leadership, and this insane govt keeps running to its focus groups in an aimless tizz—relentlessly doing the same thing again and again, and expecting a different result.

ten's new news corp trojan horse ceo has just bought 3 million shares in the network

again, why the fuck are we wasting our time with democracy

you are probably right tim. i think there's stil an element of commentators who pick through the entrails of the ALP because it's easy - the 'faceless men' are not actually that faceless, paul howes and his like are in the media all the time - while the libs have the same structural problems with falling party membership, head office overruling local branch members, etc - there was talk of this post-2007, but of course since the 'abbott is the most successful opposition leader ever' narrative took hold the cracks have been glossed over. how parties actually engage with the electorate when they hollowed out like they have in the past 30 years by professional political staffers is probably too big a topic for this thread, though.

this is an interesting take on the 'ideology' thing, especially the stuff around commentators who rep for hawke-keating as the golden age of reform - I mean I was young obviously but I remember that time, 11% unemployment and all, it was grim. unions had their spot at the table and the benefits didn't really flow, and their base has been gutted since.

adam your idea is a beautiful utopia but will probably collapse under the weight of 'who pays for it??' much like the logjam of infrastructure projects that were talked up in 2008-9. you can't possibly think that message would have any traction in the current environment when the labor brand seems, at federal and state (NSW govt constantly failing to deliver on transport for ex) level, is about broken promises and money pits, surely. maybe when rupert dies.

the labor brand is definitely trashed, yeah. any visionary approaches should have been undertaken years ago (arguably even when gillard first got in, rather then her 'fuck boats' maiden ideology which effectively repelled her base overnight).

my ill-considered public transport example was just that btw. the right vision with the right momentum would overcome dissenting roadblocks if it were strong enough and were sold well enough.

gillard's modus operandi seems to be this:

1. announce a fucktarded policy that reacts entirely to coalition supporters
2. answer every single criticism with the exact phrase 'i understand…' followed by a rebuff that demonstrates she doesn't understand shit
3. haemorrhage more of whatever base the party has remaining

Shut up about Rooty Hill already.

fucking otm

entire country is sick of hearing about western sydney, govt responds by going to western sydney

can't wait for 13th september, when the party suddenly decides i'm important and chases me around the fucking shops

good stuff on 'the narrative'

Actually read some articles about THE ROOTY HILL CIRCUS in that some Western Sydney residents are, get this, planning to vote Liberal because they want better infrastructure.

I think somebody must be taking the piss because waht.

Going to start one of those wacky "is x here/dead/something or other" websites called www.istheguardianaustraliawebsiteupyetbecauseitcantbeanyfuckenworsethanfairfaxsurely.com btw.

and their coalition state govt is doing what about infrastructure exactly

there's your precedent, sydney's only child western sydney

and their coalition state govt is doing what about infrastructure exactly

tbf I only had to wait fifty minutes in an overcrowded 80-year-old underground station (that has changed little since it first opened) a couple of weeks ago in peak hour for a train to take me home from work because a smoke alarm went off about fourteen kilometres away

two spelling errors in the guarinad's listing for a data journo, sterling work. first media organisation to appear on media watch without having released any product into the australian market, you couldn't make it up if you tried.

"grauniad", you autopwned

'mark with politics', tuesday mornings on triple r: seems to be under the delusion that he's a political commentator, just sounds like a stoner parroting the same 'narrative' bullshit that i could read in fairfax papers. just hopeless.

Stalin, Mao...Conroy?

Here's the new official Ruddmentum hashtag btw: #gamechanger

i thought conroy's new laws would be ineffective until i saw news ltd carry on like spoilt brats. win.

They have these LED advertising boards on bus shelters now and I walked past one at lunch with a big fuck off cover of today's Daily Tele on it. My first thought was "ah, if only the North Koreans knew what 21st century propaganda really is all about."

FYI hidden behind more important stories like "Comrade Conroy", "Miranda Kerr has minor car accident" and "Clarke says he doesn't hate Watson but probably does", a second Coalition State/Territory leader got rolled in less than a week. Tony Abbott's office presumably closed up early this afternoon for 'family reasons'.

lol

obv we are all ignoring the overload of spill rhetoric but this one is not from the usual excitable/linkbaiting sources: http://blogs.crikey.com.au/northern/2013/03/15/julia-gillard-gone-by-next-wednesday/

next

wednesday

hm, bernard keane is saying no

make it stop

imo all this spill talk is a combination of a thoroughly despondent electorate and lazy journalism

c u next tuesday, random crikey blogger from darwin

I note that he didn't predict the NT Chief Minister rolling on his blog btw.

Oh, actually, it was quite obvious it was going to happen and he did sort of point that out.

I still don't accept the word of a random blogger from Darwin, through.

he seems fairly confident he's right, and keane seems fairly confident otherwise

regardless, the alp is hell of jumpy atm

if anything is going to fuck over labor this year, it'll be abbott taking over the SOCIALLY PROGRESSIVE ground

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-03-15/abbott-pledges-first-australians-referendum/4576746

Mr Abbott said he wanted a new engagement with Indigenous Australians to be the hallmark of a Coalition government from day one.

He said he planned to move the Department of Indigenous Affairs into the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet, in effect creating a prime minister of Indigenous affairs.

"It's got to start at the top. It's got to have the authority of the Prime Minister," he said.

labor could have owned social progress from day one

but no

never mind yer boat people, yer homophobia, your etc etc, it's this kind of swooping in on the occasional visionary centre-left policy that will get abbott the attention of the middle ground

you know, the ground that gillard could have had in the palm of her hand but fucking scuppered

never mind yer boat people, yer homophobia, your etc etc, it's this kind of swooping in on the occasional visionary centre-left policy that will get abbott the attention of the middle ground

as if anyone will believe a word of this bullshit from Abbott

tbh i think he might stick with that one

How many brown people with fixed rictuses did he cram into the frame with him while making the announcement

gillard is so shit that the potential to wedge her is enormous

only reason he'd want aboriginal affairs in OPMC is to fucking bury it. wake up to yourself!!

oh fuck you're right

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/abbott-backs-fines-tactic-to-cut-aboriginal-truancy-20130315-2g66r.html

makes some good points until you realise that he just wants another tool to bash the marginalised in australian society with

and anyone who says "I support quarantining welfare payments for the long-term unemployed" a) doesn't understand the issues that the long-term unemployed face and b) doesn't give a shit about the long-term unemployed

otm

i really really need gillard to be rolled because i now have real money riding on it

if she is stood there on election night i will lose five dollars

What's the odds that TOM FUCKING WATERHOUSE will be co-presenting Nine's election night coverage btw?

Unless media reform comes in and it is replaced with Comrade Conroy Addresses The Nation followed by the execution of every media owner.

tom fucking waterhouse is the devil.

http://cdn0.mumbrella.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/mumbo.jpg

Tom Waterhouse is a cunt. He makes Tony Abbott look like a not-cunt.

why do people hate tom waterhouse so much? i don't doubt any of the haters at all, i just know basically nothing about the guy.

I only rly know about him from the I Love Gr33n Guide L3tters podcast

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-03-18/rowland-media-regulation-stitch-up/4578648

in case anyone still doubts news ltd is a pack of revolting pieces of shit

xp lol i didn't even know that was a thing

If I were a lawyer, I would prove that Tom Waterhouse is guilty of the following:

a) Looking like a smug cunt
b) Ruining my enjoyment of televised sporting events by appearing at some stage in the role of 'smug cunt'

I would also prove that The Guy from The I Love Gr33n Guide L3tters podcast is guilty of the following:

a) Having a really fucken annoying voice

the podcaster's curse

just sounds like a Melbourne accent to me tbh

let's hear him:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t1xtpTvZyI

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/waterhouses-multimillion-dollar-nrl-deal-put-under-microscope-20130319-2gckp.html

jaymee rogers of sportsbet is probably smugger

really they should all be incinerated tho

but free speech

Mike Bowers (@mpbowers)
@dailytelegraph I didn't give you permission to use my photograph please remove, you had your own photographers in QT http://www.daliytelegraph.com.au/news/national/julia-gillard-declares-she-will-win-the-election-during-question-time/story-fncvk70o-1226600661638

free speech

prime minister crean

jesus don't do that to me, the ticker can't take it

prime minister conroy

STOP

more like prime minister cornholio

stephen bunghole

I need [CENSORED BY THE DEPARTMENT OF BROADBAND, COMMUNICATIONS AND THE DIGITAL ECONOMY] for my bunghole!

Crean would be miles better than Gillard. People think he's a bit useless but he's not so hopeless that the inherent authority of being Prime Minister wouldn't slightly enhance his (next to nonexistant, admittedly) charisma.

Being PM wouldn't improve my next to non-existent typing skills today.

We're talking about Simon Crean and not his brother, Dean Crean, right?

lol crean

Crean would be miles better than Gillard.

he'd contain traces of hawke imo

the only thing left to look forward to is the post-election wounded indignation on the faces of the qld voters who can't wait to vote in abbott even though they couldn't wait to vote in newman and now they hate him.

otm

gillard hate will not be a patch on abbott hate six months in

Just you all wait until Abbott introduces his new version of "Workchoices".

i hope they hate abbott more but i'm sure they'll all keep blaming labor for everything, they'll make their beds and then they'll tell lies in them.

zombie tories have an amazing ability to blame labor for things that happen during coalition terms

i remain convinced that the property market will crash, most likely in the next term (especially if hockey is doing numbers), and that idiots everywhere will blame juliar even though the bubble demonstrably got out of control under howard

because wayne swan caused the gfc which ended four years ago

"lnp makes the money and labor spends it" --state motto.

lnp hoards it iirc

(especially if hockey is doing numbers)

tbf when they cut back on the nbn, they'll be able to buy an abacus for the member of north sydney

or the menstrual egg timer

on another big australian news topic: can i just say that i was going to use yr new screen name, jim

haha

http://images-2.drive.com.au/2013/03/20/4126249/art-kevinrudd-620x349.jpg

~something~ tipped to happen tomorrow, although nobody knows what it is or can justify or explain it or anything at all, and rudd has the numbers except he doesn't and he sort of does but the ~quiet~ people may support rudd or may not

only thing certain is that a fuckload of mps are facing annihilation and have the jitters

for all the dickishness about 'omg rudd only cares about himself' the fact is that gillard has been polling like shit for close to three years and will quantifiably lead the party to ruin against a hateful streak of shit who couldn't beat a biscuit in a suit

gillard is less effective than a biscuit in a suit, is where i'm going with this

rudd is an iced-vovo in a suit, is he not?

indeed

and he might be totally useless as a returning pm but my god does he know how to campaign

abbott is riddled with holes, and gillard and the whole govt just sit back and let him walk all over them

i just, fuck, i mean you could blow gently in his general direction and he would fall over

if nothing changes and gillard loses to abbott in a whitewash, just imagine (a) what a mess the entire alp will be in (not just federal) and (b) how utterly preposterous gillard's impression and legacy will be for eternity

her tenacious clinging to power is precisely about her own selfish needs, not about the party and certainly not about the country

fuck everything

Rudd is indeed an Iced Vovo because a) they are really popular and b) you can have it with a nice cup of Kevin Rudd's Australian Afternoon Tea but for some reason c) the ALP apparently can't eat deal with having more than one or two during their tea break.

eat deal <--- select the one you prefer in order to make the last post work

also what is with the alp's continued obsession with abbott? he doesn't need a marketing budget because he's got his polar enemy WHO IS IN POWER relentlessly giving him all the attention he needs for like three years. that's not a strategy, that's a band of fuck knuckles too hare-brained to shut the hell up and get on with their jobs

xp fuck kevin's shitty afternoon tea

Polar enemy? Wouldn't know it. Gillard subscribes to the lemonade stand on the beach theory of politics. Except what happens if you move closer to the other stand, your own customers will go "Hmm, the lemonade I'm buying sure tastes like weak-kneed appeasement."

Looking forward to my first ever informal vote. Last time I voted formarly but wrote "Enough campaigning about how evil boat people are please, there are real problems to be solved" on my ballot. Pity only scrutineers read those things :(

Gillard subscribes to the lemonade stand on the beach theory of politics. Except what happens if you move closer to the other stand, your own customers will go "Hmm, the lemonade I'm buying sure tastes like weak-kneed appeasement."

haha yes

re informal voting: idk whether staying quiet or trying anything at all to keep abbott out is the way to go, but tbh i'm so angry with how eagerly our system moves votes around that i might just protest vote again (informal)

btw 'your vote can make a difference' is bullshit in the face of anti-democracy fuckwads like murdoch

I will never not number every box

there have been times when i've lacked the policy knowledge to submit a responsible vote, and times when i've been utterly utterly pissed off at the complete lack of choice

in fact this year i hope very many people take latham's lead in 2010 and submit record numbers of blank papers to make a point

it makes a toothless point that endorses the ppl you're opposed to - "sweet, people aren't using their vote against us, that counts as a win"

I always check out enough about some independents to figure where I'll place them, and whether I'm 100% in line with Greens policies at any given election I am generically comfortable with giving them high points on a bastards->honest principle

in recent years I have brought Labor up to a mid-point on my ballot, might go back to mixing them with Libs at the bottom this time. their problem is a need for massive internal reform though, which I don't know even a routing at the polls will bring

and in state elections it brings enormous satisfaction to be able to put Fred and Elaine last eveyr alternating election

spill drama is quiet atm

today i saw it stated that the press gallery has successfully predicted 12 of the federal alp's last 1 spills

9 of those were just Rudd wetting his pants though

yep

party leaders rudely issuing a heartfelt nonpartisan apology to victims of forced adoption while there should be a spill going on

country down the toilet etc

crean

you guys

crean

1 pm aedt

crean

get on top

IT'S ON

god save the crean

was down with Crean's statement this morning

admire his calling-out now, but not sure that telling Rudd to pull his head in or fuck off might not have been more appropriate

lol @ everything

this is ace

if they must go down they might as well be entertaining about it

i'm loving it.

dear oh dear

you lived through qld doing nothing on the way down, so this is like a fresh start for you i imagine xp

whoa, crean has said it's rudd or he resigns

far out

loving the reporter in green loving crean

!!!

whoa, crean has said it's rudd or he resigns

this isn't what he said in my reading

how did you read it

you lived through qld doing nothing on the way down, so this is like a fresh start for you i imagine xp

― Esteban Buttiérrez (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, March 21, 2013 12:11 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a fresh cow pat is more in line with my expectations.

:(

i loved and agreed with julia's misogyny stance but that misgyny qn just then was fucking stupid.

otm and good to see him r his d e's

Crean should spill himself and form the Honorable Quixotic Talking Sense Party with Windsor/Oakeshott

I don't doubt that a huge streak of entitled middle-aged white male cunt inherent misogyny motivates a lot of the party's unsupport for Gillard, but that's not the issue that can be dealt with pre-election

no, also i doubt it's what's driving crean.

sic

how did you read it

srs q, lots going on & i may have misunderstood

how did you read it

that the current party's internal fuckedness needs to be resolved one way or the other; he knows that by calling for the leader to upend everything, that he would not be able to be seen as reliable should the current leader prevail; but he cares enough about the principle to put his entire career on the line and walk away voluntarily rather than be a motivator of any further conflict, once the dust settles

all his talk about "a changed Kevin" and "a more disciplined asset"* indicates that he is not a Rudd booster per se, but thinks the party has a better chance of being unified til election under him. and he cares about the party doing a better job for the country. and would rather get the arse himself than live under an Abbott PMship.

*loved this

that was how i read it too.

xp ha, no prob, just needed time to reply and Crean was still talking

sorry sic, i'll get to you in a sec, just wanted to mention that rudd has confirmed he will run if a spill occurs

ah, so he basically sees his position as shaky if gillard remains, now that he has put his name forth against her? cheers

far out i can't manage facts at a time like this

good on crean for cutting through all the nonsense and promoting conviction politics btw

he voted yes to marriage equality, he's a good egg

lol as if rudd would ever not run.

(but i think he should.)

crean is doing grest.

rudd didn't announce shit, it was a stupid fucking twitter gag account

my apologies

so has a gutful of twitter gag accounts

had

nm surely it's accurate anyway.

yeah but i'm sure he'll stay quiet unless an actual ballot occurs

wait, what am i saying, this is kevin rudd

ha ha

ah, so he basically sees his position as shaky if gillard remains, now that he has put his name forth against her? cheers

less this than backing his own principle - he's opposed to disunity, so would remove himself from the current structure now that he's publicly stepped out of the pretend appearance of unity - hence his "of course"

good on crean for cutting through all the nonsense and promoting conviction politics btw

yes, and speaking so plainly and clearly in doing so

Crean should spill himself and form the Honorable Quixotic Talking Sense Party with Windsor/Oakeshott

if Abbott holds Lib leadership after the election Turnbull can re-reinvent himself and bail for this too

in the past hour the qld sky has developed a smug pink tinge which is reflecting from rudd's polished forehead.

baaaahahahahhah

imagine that, a post-abbott coalition

the alp caucus petition (to force a spill; 1/3 of all members) is on the go btw

and qt is about to go ahead

what a day

tbh i reckon gillard might bail rather than suffer the same defeat she begat three years ago

gillard called ballot, 4.30 pm aedt today

welp

tony looks oddly concerned

acr

ace even

fuck that satellite dish head

"In the meantime, take yr best shot."

<3 Gillard in hardwoman mode

he's been agitating for this for years and now looooool it's happening xp

wtf, gillard appears to have sacked crean

swan looks terrible.

i hate how this has all turned out for gillard. but she has been doomed all along.

abbott called no confidence motion

not quite sure what that means but it sounds hell of scary

She announced the ballot, Tony is bloviating, grandstanding and filibustering to no end

re Crean: might be accepting his standing down or aside rather than sacking?

i'm worried i might not have sufficiently expressed my deep and abiding disgust for the deputy leader of the opposition.

otm

if no confidence motion goes ahead, rudd can step up and contest or something, either way a weird tactical move from abbott by wonk accounts

boats

abbott is just going all 50/50 column now

here's worse telling us we deserve better.

abc news 24 overlaying qt with tweets

i want to die

no confidence morion failed

single worst outcome now, quite convincingly, would be if gillard were to win the spill

god so the no confidence motion voting is happening NOW, the vocal indication didn't count

vote is actually to suspend standing orders (failed)

look, just show me who is the prime minister and sign a statement to that effect

rudd out, caucus meeting goes ahead regardless

what the shit

poor Crean

prime minister abbott now a dead cert

thanks caucus

unless they take this chance to actually act fucking unified and get some policies and campaign on them

so, spill in April?

wtf

unless they take this chance to actually act fucking unified and get some policies and campaign on them

far too late for that

either gillard is torn down by this preposterously suicidal govt or abbott will be prime minister

there is now no third option afaict

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh

Fucking hell they're fucking useless, so fucking useless that Tony fucking Abbott of all the fucking nutbag right fucking wing people will win in a fucking landslide.

rudd left a fairly clear opening for someone to tear down the pm today, hopefully someone takes it

they'd want to hurry because rudd's forces are dropping like flies atm (crean, fitz, marles)

i suppose this is rudd's belated revenge on the whole sorry doomed lot of them.

imagine the public shitstorm once this govt loses

reams and reams and reams of public vitriol

labor in power 2: the reckoning

guys guys guys, I have an idea

actually no I don't, we're all fucked

we will have to eat one another

http://m.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/hes-always-inflating-his-numbers-latham-unleashes-extraordinary-diatribe-on-rudd-fitzgibbon-and-richardson-20130321-2gik7.html

graham richardson should be drummed out of australian public life post-haste

crean, fitzgibbon, marles, husic, saffin all collateral so far (unless i've missed a load)

bang goes the price inquiry

http://www.kevinruddmp.com/2013/03/statement-from-spokesperson-for-hon.html

Mr Rudd wishes to make 100 per cent clear to all members of the parliamentary Labor Party, including his own supporters, that there are no circumstances under which he will return to the Labor Party leadership in the future.

o v a haitch

man who never had numbers in "I don't have the numbers" shockah

lol otm

we are witnessing the death of modern labor imo

I honestly have no fucking idea whats going on. Pollies Will Eat Themself indeed.

death of modern labor is all you need to know

out of its ashes will arise an actual progressive party

or not

So many good ppl took a hit the last few days, I'm flabbergasted.

eight rudd supporters quit or were sacked

meanwhile gillard reigns supreme and everybody is fucked

insane

Fucking farce. And I'm not into politics but I can see the mess.

you won't need to be into politics when abbott gets in and scores control of both houses, trust me

remember children overboard? fucking entrée

We don't actually need a Labor Party. We don't need anything that we currently have, it's just how it is. All the parties can vanish and something else will turn up. Nature abhors a vacuum cleaner, etc.

NB probably when it comes down to it I will probably hold my nose and vote Labor. Tanya Plibersek is, as a supposed leftie in the ALP, as useless as tits on a bull but whatever statement replacing her with a Green makes, I've no particular interest in making it.

death of modern labor is all you need to know
out of its ashes will arise an actual progressive party

good luck with this - outsiders just got they asses beat in the battle of insiders vs outsiders, do you have a secret plan to knock off joe de bruyn from the leadership of the shoppies union or something?

it doesn't stand for anything

neither do the libs, it doesn't seem to be hurting them. good work, 'party discipline'

the libs stand for loads of stuff, mostly bigotry and rich white straight blokes. the alp doesn't know whether to haphazardly cut into the same demographics or circle jerk itself to oblivion

A unified progressive party without links to either the union movement or containing crazy people who scare "the middle" like Lee Rhiannon would be nice, but there are very strong forces keeping the party structure as it is, and it's (implausible as it might seem), bigger than Joe De Bruyn.

newsloll

gillard is dead

that's new and unusual for them to say

http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/4598894.html

good analysis

A chronically sleep-deprived, erratic and angry micro-manager does not ordinarily enjoy a long shelf life, whether as a leader of a kindergarten, church, company or footy club. People who work with such individuals resent them. After a time, resentment breeds hostility and anger. And soon after, it becomes hate.

I didnt kno my boss was the former PM.

i'm glad hartcher gets repeatedly name checked as a rudd backer

I really like this in the comments as well:

The caucus majority who stuck with Gillard were motivated not just by exasperation with Rudd.

1.They were aware that the opposition was eagerly awaiting and abetting the moves to get Rudd back in;and had the recycled "lemon" adverts ready to go
2.therefore they did not expect any lift in polling to last ; replacement would just bolster Opposition cries of disfunction
3. There is also strong personal support for Gillard because of her determination, resilience and good humour
4.Both male and female supporters believe the venom unleashed against Gillard in the mainstream media and internet is not only due to the belief that a minority government is illegitimate despite its many successes with the support of Independents and Greens but also is motivated to no small extent by unwillingness to accept a woman - especially a woman with unconventional partnering history - having the gall to replace a man in a position of status and power.

re point 1: yes, but the opposition has a gillard strategy ready to go and a rudd strategy ready to go. labor rolling out, say, i dunno, doug cameron would throw a plank in their spokes.

I dont even know who that is Im embarrassed to admit.

http://images.nationaltimes.com.au/2011/06/14/2428489/ipad-art-wide-doug_cameron_Labor-420x0.jpg

dead set legend ime

(this is where haitch steps in to disabuse me)

Oh him!

and had the recycled "lemon" adverts ready to go

thought this would only encourage them tbh

(this is where haitch steps in to disabuse me)

doug cameron is a bigger fuckin commie than I am!

http://www.mainstream.org.au

Just in case people haven't seen this. Read it as satire if you want, but I think it's serious.

jesus

I wish I hand't read as much of that as I have.

The manifesto consists of

No catholics
No poofters
Waltzing Matilda
Pizza delivery by pneumatic tube
100,000 Foreign 'blokes' paid $40 a week to beef up the army
Aboriginies to be offered a banana, chocolate shredded wheat milkshake laced with valium and cocaine and appointed as Ambassadors
No children to be allowed to march in ANZAC day marches
Energy policy based on Portuguese fusion reactors
No catholics
No poofters

You forgot "no Jews".

Pizza delivery by pneumatic tube

why haven't we got this sorted yet, I mean really

Favourite bits: 60% of Australians are Protestant (no, it's closer to 30%) and that the unemployment rate is above 30%, candidates should stump up 220k of their own money and pay 25c per leaflet (they must own shares in a printing company), and that one in every 50 people that gets one of their flyers will then start handing out flyers themselves (ah, naivety).

fortunately entitlement is self-destructive

looooool i forgot about this thread

anyway shorten has publicly switched so

sky called gillard conceding to rudd

fuck sky but anyway that happened

sky making shit up oh what a surprise

RUDD

TURD

ICED VO VOS ARE FLYING OFF THE SHELVES

CONROY IS OUT ON HIS ARSE

my initial thought was that rudd as leader would improve the alp's chances but now i don't even know

they couldn't really have gotten worse

wendy davis for pm

combet has resigned, what a bloodbath

http://i.imgur.com/MHuIGQX.gif

otm

spill back to Julia before September?

zero chance

guys guys guys let's not forget DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER ALBO

^feelin this

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BN5hWwoCAAAMBwc.jpg:large

j. rudd's weapons not so secret on that couruer-mail front page therw

reading

https://images.bookworld.com.au/images/bau/97817423/9781742379227/126/0/plain/the-stalking-of-julia-gillard-how-the-media-and-team-rudd-contrived-to-bring-down-the-prime-minister.jpg

walsh is very angry, and cites her first anonymous source by like the fourth page

oh jesus this book is terrible

when she's not citing anonymous sources, she's bagging out people who cite anonymous sources

and otherwise blaming rudd for basically everything in the universe

7% through the book and she's already told the same anecdote twice

i have to stop, it's terrible

no news, no revelations, no insight, just an angry blogger smashing out her responses to what's in the newspapers and on the radio

i mean fuck, i hate news ltd as much as anyone but i don't ask allen & unwin to publish my twitter feed

a guy on twooter (who is obviously a mate of the author) is goading me to finish it

might ram a hedgehog up my arse instead

kerry-anne Walsh was a press gallery hack for 25 years!

which is probably why she's wrong, haw

gillard more perceptive than most when she said sexism wasn't the whole story but wasn't nothing either, imo

yeah, that was thoroughly otm

walsh chucks in a bit of a token 'gillard isn't without her faults' line but otherwise it's just one-eyed blathering. she even claims a kinder gentler asylum seeker solution had 'eluded' gillard, i mean fucking seriously

and then in the next breath tearing shreds off rudd for telling the papers about his heart operation

Rudd posts selfie on Instagram so it must be official that its officially on now.

Col Allen News.com.au stating that "Foxtel Abbott facing 'unlosable election'.

murdoch has been rallying the troops for a while

yesterday's feral scum front page was just fucking atrocious

the air is thick with swarms of lies

oh and now there's this

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BQ0xPLiCMAEshrV.jpg

no amount of parody even comes close to that revolting 'news' agency now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V--9cIScz8

ouch

watch out you guys, joe hockey went to daiso and bought a ~calculator~

http://i.imgur.com/nFvMAqG.jpg

I've come to the conclusion that torrenting television shows is the most patriotic action one can take at this juncture.

yes, that telegraph front page, yes

all that labor spending and reckless waste, waste waste omg all of the waste, hey oh btw here's fifteen billion bucks for ~roads~ and we're not telling you where the money will come from because shut up that's why

we are so good at managing the economy that we don't even have to prove it

fuck you and your "calculators"

Yeah Rabbit's "I'm all about ROADS" pisses me off. LETS HAVE SOME PUBLIC TRANSPORT ACTION FFS.

only gay lesbians catch trains

Auckland as a role model, eh?

All that's been in the news over here is the "suppository of wisdom" quote.

Here too tbh. I didnt even bother with the debate, because to me its all a load of

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-m5POm7BYrvc/TpiUu52RX2I/AAAAAAAABU8/8Avwj0n3HkE/s400/Jack_Johnson_y_John_Jackson.png

otm

rudd: i me me me me me also me
abbott: me me me me me baoets

imagine if the solution to all our transport woes were BOATS

OK someone should get onto all the Manly ferries andstick STORP THE BOATS banners all over them.

Australia is very small and too lucky (in wealth) to have any mechanism which reward good ideas, so obviously our politics are incredibly daft and conservative. Fortunately, mediocrity is limited in ability to do harm. So like, let's not stress.

the fuck foreigners party is going to win this

it isn't just foreigners who are going to be fucked

this is the end. armageddon. no future.

the coalition's rhetoric is worse than its actual policy, which appears to be a load of paperwork

FUCK OFF WE'RE FULL

i also find it laughable that the coalition is rejecting the greens / preferencing them last on the grounds that they do not have economic credibility when the LNP has released NADA w/r/t costings for their own policies

basically this whole country is fucked

I endorse this sentiment.

I'm trying to soothe my malaise by helping out an independent candidate. She's with me on most issues, but it must suck for a shit load of people who don't have anyone that's got a similar view to them and has to pick between a few unappealing options.

It sucks shit for me. Tony Burke (fuck off), Sophie's Delezio's dad for the Liberals (last spotted having a whinge on the street to an elderly person), the local Greens candidate (pretty much a stereotype of a Green candidate), the local Palmer United Party candidate (without the decency to have planned an after-election party with hot ladies) and the local DLP candidate (what the fuck is this, 1956?). Will have to vote Greens as the least worst option.

Suffice to say, I am more excited by the Senate election.

oh oh oh, I just discovered my electorate also has a Christian Democratic Party candidate and someone from what is the Rise Up Australia Party (I don't even)

kill me now

Deep Dicking Party all the way lols.

I notice the Liberals are running A Gay in my seat (Sydney). He supports marriage equality. How very lovely. Now, when will they be demonstrating that they don't think gays are grotty and dirty (but good for putting a "moderate" face on the party in inner-Sydney and inner-Melbourne electorates) by running an openly gay or lesbian candidate in a marginal seat, or even a safe one?

(No jokes about you-know-who or you-know-who-else please).

I'm shitty with the Greens because if they were serious about inner city residents, Adam Bandt would have demanded some kind of action on negative gearing. But wait, that would be courageous.

Liberalism is completely dead in Australian politics. To be "liberal" all you have to do is say oh yes let's let all the gays marry and also, refugees shouldn't be treated like dog turds. WELL FUCKING DUH, CONGRATULATIONS, now get caring about some of the other probles. (I've said this before but man, it bears repeating).

Can you imagine if the Greens actually demanded action on negative gearing? The good people at the Daily Telegraph would photoshop a Bandt/Milne/Satan threesome or something.

I should have prepared early and started a "Fuck Off Baby Boomers and Your Fucking Property Portfolio Party".

I wager a good few prominent Greens have negatively geared investments. It wouldn't surprise me if Adam Bandt did. As if anyone reading the Tele would vote for them anyway. I see it as the #1 most important issue and it annoys me I can't find any politicians who agree. In 50 years time when taxes have to go up because most pensioners never were able to afford a home and need the pension to be higher, doubly so because we said "fuck off country's full" at 27 million because some cunt in a marginal seat said it at a focus group or to Newspoll, I hope these people are happy. I think about all the people who want to buy but have to rent while their taxes subsidise their landlord's negative gearing, and all the people who can't get their kid in childcare becuase of all the parents who HAVE to put their kid in childcare because they have to work two jobs and Sweden is really looking better and better.

Promise me you'll all come visit.

Well, yes, I am in total agreement with this. And nothing will happen because everyone is too damned self-interested.

That's the crux of the issue. Nobody fucking considers community anymore, all parties and votes are all in it for them fucking selves. So we get short sighted vision, refugees being treated as almost sub-humans, and the farce that is negative gearing.

There's a market out there for a progressive, genuinely social democratic party with a big Australia vision. But the existing established parties and the media would never allow it oxygen. So we have no choice but to lol at the good-natured and naive micros that spring up.

how fucking depressing

hi world, we're pathetic bigots

it's so counterintuitive to see the main parties in an election vying for votes by presenting themselves in the worst possible light because that's their take on voter aspirations.

but the terrible thing is that they're apparently not far off the mark for most voters

i can never tell how close or far they are because the view from up here in qld is so hate-skewed so i try to give the rest of the country some benefit of the doubt.

alas we don't deserve it

Is Clive Palmer a Barry Humphries character?

yes

sick to death of saying 'fuck this country' for, what, 12 years now but fuck this country

people who are more worried about some personnel changes than a massive bigot can go to hell

personnel changes in what organisation

I voted on tuesday, I advise everyone to go to a polling station before saturday, unless you really want a sausage.

(tbh probably going anyway to get a sausage)

also can now tell people to fuck off i've already voted if any conversation regarding the election looks like it's about to start.

Can you early vote tomorrow (Friday)? I thought they closed early votes off err.. early. But Ive been too fuckin busy to vote early, ironically.

don't know don't care

personnel changes in what organisation

labor

ALso dont they charge for the fuckin sausages? Also also I'd have to put up with Rokwiz if I vote on sat, I'm gonna vote tomorrow.

abbott will do the internet filter

that's it then

this country is an actual fucking joke

Personnel changes in the actual govt are genuinely a big deal

(Depending on who they are, which yr still opaque on)

voted on tuesday, I advise everyone to go to a polling station before saturday, unless you really want a saus

I voted on Tuesday at the consulate in San Francisco, felt great

how is saus sitch there?

saus sidg sitch

no sausages, how-to-vote cards only for Labor & Liberal

You can get Bundy ginger beer in both diners & underground dance clubs in SF though!

Good luck Australia.

Personnel changes in the actual govt are genuinely a big deal

(Depending on who they are, which yr still opaque on)

just a little thing, two prime ministers knifing each other nbd

anyway why does it matter, my point was pretty clearly about bigots

spent all night raging against this incoming government of bigots

still angry

at least the filter was a mistake

um, lol?

how is the rob sitch there, morelike

"Who cares if one of them is prepared to play a massive bigot to pander to the imaginary base of the other bigot, the other bigot means it so yaayy pretend bigot"? Rudd is proven, over and over, to be an untrustworthy liability to his own party, so that matters wrt electing the party, and str8-up enacting a 'FUCK OFF TO PNG, WE'RE FULL' policy must have made Howard green w/ envy

yes

Well I can't sleep. What a shitty day.

Abbott is a cunt. He would rubbish our great institutions so much that Australians don't realise that they are excellent by world standards. Rudd is a cunt. He used to be for a Big Australia. What happened? Gillard was a cunt. Nobody did more to make Abbott look like a Prime Minister than she did.

I am going to give my preference to Tanya Plibersek because I don't see any point in replacing her with a Green. I do see a very large benefit in replacing that cunt Ursula Stephens with a Green though, so I'll be voting Green in the Senate, turning the barbecue on and then practising my Swedish intently because I am going to need it.

Nobody did more to make Abbott look like a Prime Minister than she did.

perfect summary of election 2013 imo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUk7JklvjT4

blue saturday

i have not seen a boat all day so

Can I just bitch that FINALLY the Greens put up a candidate in NSW I actually liked and gave my vote to and it looks like she won't even bloody win. FOR. FUCK'S. SAKE. FUCKING LYING CHEATING ARSEHOLES THE SO CALLED "LIBERAL DEMOCRATS" AND THEIR FUCKING DISHONEST NAME JAGGING THE LEFTMOST POSITION ON THE BALLOT AND GETTING VOTES FROM FUCKING IDIOTS WHO DO NOT READ, BUT EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE FUCKING IDIOTS WOULD STILL BE SMART ENOUGH NOT TO VOTE FOR LIBERTARIANS IF THEY WERE PRESENTED AS SUCH.

Hate forever.

i put those fuckers right near the bottom fwiw

http://browncardigan.s3.amazonaws.com/imagesfarm/2013/0NjQuHmAWfX8yx5.jpg

http://24.media.tumblr.com/e718acd6f73dd2ddfdecf95f2e6a2132/tumblr_mskly8abMF1sxv2vuo1_500.jpg

FUCK OFF WE'RE FULL OF BRYLCREEM AND GIANT EARS

twooter is telling me this about first preferences:

- lab 33.85%
- lib 31.72%
- grn 8.42%
- nat 4.57%

go home proportional representation you're drunk

too depressed/angry to have anything to add here

oh wait there is: the senate is now full of halfwits and extreme right nutbags, well done senate voting system

thankfully a certain poster in this thread's incredible impersonation of julie bishop last night amazingly cheered my spirits

just hearing about it has lifted mine, i loathe julie bishop with a vengeance.

it really is too depressing to talk about, what is there to say.

what will you do when she's prime minister

Does doing this work or

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BTjhNmnCMAAhjcX.jpg

I was looking up Jamie Briggs (my bastard MP) on Wikipedia to see who he slept with to get his safe seat, and saw his categories incolude "Category:Coprophagous animals"

Does doing this work or

yes but i can't see what you're doing

Who Cares: The 2013 Australian Federal Election Thread

ahhhh

My seat's rusted-on labor, but not for the reason you'd expect (unless you kno where I live). Danby's been in the seat nigh 20 years now. He's one of only 2 jewish MOP. He ain't ever gonna lose while he's running. He won again of course. I'm cool with this, tho a green candidate in my area would seem as possible as in Melb so I'm not sure why all the StKilda hippie parents didnt get in.

I was on the phone to mum y'day and heard dad in the background come in the door and realise she was talking to me and he yelled "LOL HOW ABOUT THOSE GREENS OF YOURS" at the phone, and I calmly advised mum "actually Adam Bandt won his seat as it happens" and that shut him up.

bahaha. does he know they have three senate seats too?

gillard hate will not be a patch on abbott hate six months in

― Esteban Buttiérrez (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, March 20, 2013 8:52 PM (1 year ago)

eight months in but still

to quote the Washington Post, "one of the world's most hated Prime Ministers"

old but still funny

http://www.smh.com.au/national/abbott-lame-gay-churchy-loser-says-his-daughter-20090813-eiu1.html

sounds like a kid to invest in

thankfully a certain poster in this thread's incredible impersonation of julie bishop last night amazingly cheered my spirits

― hipster racist (King Boy Pato), Sunday, September 8, 2013 9:20 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

every time i see her rancid smug face i think of this and lol, even though i didn't even see the impersonation.

to quote the Washington Post, "one of the world's most hated Prime Ministers"

― "that guy from nokia mobile phones!" "what mobile phones?" (King Boy Pato), Thursday, May 22, 2014 9:17 PM (1 year ago)

haaaaaaaaaaaaaa