Sharing a bed...

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...in a non-sexual sense. What's the etiquette for this? I think it's a horrid practise and would rather sleep in a bath.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I think its rather nice, if you know them well enough to sleep. With a semi stranger ... well, the floors better for my back, anyway.

― jon (jon), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:13 (twenty-three years ago)

DO NOT DO IT for that way lies madness.

― Emma, Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Somewhere near the top of my todo list.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:15 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't have to do it thank God but Isabel is going somewhere with her friend (female) and they've got a double room and her friend was all oh well thats ok and she was wondering whether it would be rude to turn up with a sleeping bag and rolled-up mat!

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:16 (twenty-three years ago)

(and then they...

― Alan (Alan), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:17 (twenty-three years ago)

yes exactly heh heh heh - but her objection was that she'd get paranoid about hogging the sheets and not be able to sleep.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Fine with close friends, no problem at all male or female. I think this is aided by the fact I don't really move in my sleep very much.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:19 (twenty-three years ago)

i have done this before (hotel rooms at sxsw are booked solid all the time) and it's been fine. uh, except for the one time when i pretty much tried to engineer some sort of 'contact' ...

― maura (maura), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:19 (twenty-three years ago)

i've shared a bed with both of me best (female) friends, both of whom are really attractive (please don't google me, please don't google me!), and it was fine. in retrospect though, one of the two probably contributed to "that way lies madness". hmmm...

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:19 (twenty-three years ago)

although not in the way emma implied

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:20 (twenty-three years ago)

it's pretty dud, mostly for the reason tom just gave.

― toby (tsg20), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Once the then-GF was out and I was having a female friend stay on the floor. Around 2:30 she starting making these imploring noises - "This floor is SOOOO cold", "God a bed would be nice", "I'm fucking freezing here" etc. I don't know if my brain short-circuited or what, but I just said "There's blankets in the closet, I'm going to sleep now". Right then the GF came in 'looking for something', puttered about making maximum noise for 10 minutes and went out again. Of course my stupid behaviour was all for nothing, I got accused of cheating anyway and the death throes of the beyond-decaying relationship I was in could've just ended right there and then instead of dragging on for months afterward.

― dave q, Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Fuck it, if you need sleep you need sleep, I've probably shared a bed with friends, I can't really remember.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh yeah, then there was the time I passed out between two women and then woke up in a cab going home, apparently I pissed all over them in my sleep, and they didn't even enjoy it

― dave q, Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:24 (twenty-three years ago)

''apparently I pissed all over them in my sleep''

dave is such as baby!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I wasn't intentionally implying any form of madness, Gareth, I was thinking of a couple of personal experiences (where it wasn't me who was acting mad btw).

― Emma, Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Stop showing off Emma.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey everyone, I attract nutters! How is this showing off?

― Emma, Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I've shared a bed with equally very drunk friends before. It's cool - the comfort of a friend nearby, and with non of the awkwardness that can come from beign sober enough to rememebr what sex is.

― Sofa King Alternative (Sofa King Alternative), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I attract nutters too. I think someone at the local mental home helps them break out and gives them a photo of me before they leave

― Sofa King Alternative (Sofa King Alternative), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought you were implying you were irresistable (which may or may not be true). Were you talking of some other kind of madness?

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh forget it, I have no wish to go into these things in such a googlable place.

― Emma, Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:38 (twenty-three years ago)

ha once when i was teenage at a classical music festival in the isle of man had to share a hotel room (tho not actually a bed) with a french person who spoke no english and SNORED LIKE MERZBOX x a MILLION. Anyway eventually I went out of my mind w.sleeplessness and tried to wake him but I couldn't, at least by shaking him. Until somewhere in my lizard brain I remembered you can wake ppl up by holding their nose!! So I did, and he woke up and I suddenly realised I had no idea how to say in French "I'm sorry but you were snoring"

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:43 (twenty-three years ago)

''with a french person who spoke no english and SNORED LIKE MERZBOX x a MILLION''

b-but yr ears should've been blown off!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:46 (twenty-three years ago)

i wz younger then

*or*

also i didn't know the frnech for "i lose my ears you lose yr nose, copain"

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:49 (twenty-three years ago)

dave - some people would pay a lot of money to be pissed on in their own bed.

Tom - baths are quite comfortable if you have a pillow.

― Queen G (Queeng), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I was going to mention snoring, but MS beat me to it. Snoring is thee nr1 reason why u shd never do this. Either they will snore all night & U will hate them in thee morning (lack ov sleep makes u bad tempered I find) or you will snore, & they will keep kicking you & you will hate them in the morning. Either way, it = sux0r. The last tiome I shared a bed w/a man, it was in czecho-slovakia in 198, er something and he had very smelly feet. don't do it folx.

― NormAn PH4Y, Thursday, 26 September 2002 20:02 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm fine with it if I'm drunk. Otherwise I am paranoid that I'll just lie awake for ages desperately trying not to touch the other person deliberately or otherwise.

Now topping and tailing... THAT is both unnatural and wrong. It's one thing having to share a bed with someone you're not having sex with. Quite another to have to wake up with their feet in your face the next morning.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 26 September 2002 20:10 (twenty-three years ago)

If yr referring to my post Matt DC, we weren't topping & tailing. His feet were so smelly you could still smell them even tho' we were both the same way up. They smelled so bad it kept me awake.

― Norm4N PH4Y, Thursday, 26 September 2002 20:12 (twenty-three years ago)

When I go visit grandfolks in Texas each year for Christmas I share a bed with my grandfather. It was weird at first but now simply annoying since he personally owns the Loudest Alarm Clock in Texas which he sets to go off each morning at 7:15. Dud.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 26 September 2002 22:09 (twenty-three years ago)

cuddling friends is the greatest! i find it real hard to sleep th0ugh.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 26 September 2002 23:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I still sometimes find it hard to sleep with anyone else in bed regardless of what has been going on. I fear this says something about the relative low amount of time spent not on my own...but on the other hand I am a bed hog and therefore selfish.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 27 September 2002 00:32 (twenty-three years ago)

What's your problem with it, Tom? I don't understand? I have done it numerous times.

― nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 27 September 2002 07:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I like it with friends, or even people you know and don't mind.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 27 September 2002 17:46 (twenty-three years ago)

with friends i just lie down and fall asleep and it's all good. with family members on vacations, every little noise or twitch (including those of people sleeping on the other bed or on the floor) drives me insane.

― Maria (Maria), Friday, 27 September 2002 17:56 (twenty-three years ago)

see here's the problem as I see it - you have to sleep in yr friends bed. Simplify your life - get rid of your fucking friends and sleep alone how ever the fuck you want to. Drama schama

― Queen G (Queeng), Friday, 27 September 2002 18:15 (twenty-three years ago)

''The last tiome I shared a bed w/a man, it was in czecho-slovakia in 198, er something and he had very smelly feet. don't do it folx.''

Jeez...you must be like a hundred squillion years old! or something.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 27 September 2002 19:10 (twenty-three years ago)

The only time one should share a bed is when there's some action going down or at the very least, a possibility of same, otherwise going solo's where it's at.

― Saskia, Friday, 27 September 2002 20:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Korin always sleeps in my bed when she visits me. It's no big deal, it's nice and friendly.

― rainy (rainy), Saturday, 28 September 2002 02:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I like travelling places but am also too cheap for motels/backpackers and the like so i've shared blankies more than a few times.

From a social ettiquette standpoint, it really helps if you know the person well and there isn't any unresolved sexual tension there. Pack jarmies or sleepingwear, sleeping in yr clothes is uncomfortable and silly.

From a more logistical angle, sharing a double [or larger] bed usually isn't a problem unless it's after a hard night's drinking as this tends to turn me into a CHAMPION BLANKEY-HOGGER and also wake up sweaty and ick. Snoring and restless sleepers can also be a big fat pain.

Really though, there is no substitute for having a queensized bed and a hot water bottle all to yrself.

― petra jane (petra jane), Saturday, 28 September 2002 04:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Did anyone else have to 'top n tail' as a kid? I can remember spending christmas with our cousins when we were little, put two to a bed [brother and boy-cousin in one, me and girl-cousin in another] and thinking it a utterly rub. The impractical two-ended blanket setup always made my feet cold, and my cousin wld always accidentally[?] knee me in the back or some such. Is there any conceivable benefit to this silly idea?

― petra jane (petra jane), Saturday, 28 September 2002 04:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Is there any conceivable benefit to this silly idea?

Dan Perry dressed up as Sophocles to thread.

― david h (david h), Saturday, 28 September 2002 08:54 (twenty-three years ago)

hien?!

― petra jane (petra jane), Saturday, 28 September 2002 11:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Incest ref. Glib.

― david h (david h), Saturday, 28 September 2002 11:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Ooh, I just remembered when Andrew L and Tim B came to stay with me when I lived in Leicester, and shared a sofa-bed. Laughs aplenty!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 28 September 2002 13:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Happens all the time, what's the deal?

― sundar subramanian, Saturday, 28 September 2002 15:43 (twenty-three years ago)

eight months pass...

"it really helps if you know the person well and there isn't any unresolved sexual tension there"

spoken as a female. as a red-blooded male (fuck i hate that
phrase) i can tell you that there are only two cases when
i feel no sexual tension over an 18+ female i find
even slightly attractive: 1. she's family 2. i've otherwise
known her my entire life. even then it would feel a bit
'weird.'

― mast ace, Saturday, 21 June 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I have shared a bed with at least four people from here, two male, two female, and on one occasion there was me, one male and one female in a v. uncomfortable sofa-bed. There was never any sexual tension as far as I was concerned, just a lack of other places to sleep.

I do get slightly worried that I may stretch over and cuddle the other person inappropriately by sleepily forgetting where I am and imagining them to be my husband...

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 22 June 2003 09:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Sleeping with almost anyone is fine, as long as you establish exactly what's going on in your head beforehand. If it's someone you want to make a move on, actually making that move *in bed* could be scarily threatening and a bad idea. Though they may want you to - that's for you to know.

(I should add I got together with my SO when sleeping platonically in her bed, so obv I don't know what I'm talking about)

Sleeping with friends is always totally okay as long as your bed is big enough.

― Mark C (Mark C), Sunday, 22 June 2003 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

as long as somebody else gets the wet spot, i don't care

― dave q, Sunday, 22 June 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

As the Squirrels once sang:

"You're a crazy ballerina, always dancing on my head
There's a pirouette spot on YOUR side of the bed!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 22 June 2003 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

The only time one should share a bed is when there's some action going down or at the very least, a possibility of same, otherwise going solo's where it's at.

Agreed. I had an ex to stay a few months back - we went out, like, 10 years ago so I figured it'd be fine. It didn't cross our minds that sleeping in the same bed would be an issue, til I woke up to her saying "Charlie, what the FUCK are you doing?" and realised to my eternal shame that my hand was somewhere it *really* shouldn't have been at that precise moment.

Amazing what 5 actionless months can do to the subconscious...it's made me superwary of sharing beds with mates, I tells yer!

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Sunday, 22 June 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Has anyone made the requisite Michael Jackson allusion/joke as yet?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 22 June 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I move a lot - I used to fall off the bed when I was a kid - and I'm too deep of a sleeper to wake me if I was moving too much. So unless there's a very good reason, dud.

I have this vague memory of passing out on my friend's floor a couple of Thanksgivings ago. Relating the events to me, she said she invited me to sleep in her bed, apparently I appeared awake, but didn't move. She then assured me that it wasn't sexual, I didn't move, and she gave up. I'm still not sure why she thought that was going to be an enticement for me.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Sunday, 22 June 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I am terrible to share a bed with as I fidget terribly. I never minded sharing my bed with friends (female) at all really, even now. However, this only happens occasionally as I always share my bed with my boy & it feels weird without, but i do have a tendancy to reach out for him! Still i never 'forget' if i am sharing a bed with my friends.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Sunday, 22 June 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I once woke up from a deep sleep to discover myself stroking my sister's thigh. Oh how we laughed, and still do.

― estela (estela), Sunday, 22 June 2003 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha ha ha ha?

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 22 June 2003 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Classic when the bed is shared with some one who is as inhibited and shy and disinclined to make a first move as you are.

― Mary (Mary), Monday, 23 June 2003 00:19 (twenty-two years ago)

no thang, any of you people can sleep in my bed if it's too far to walk home or something. don't try any funny shit tho.

― duane, Monday, 23 June 2003 02:17 (twenty-two years ago)

also sometimes i scream & cry out to god & gnash my teeth in my sleep

― duane, Monday, 23 June 2003 02:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I have been known to punch the person beside me in my sleep.

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 23 June 2003 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

so i was in indonesia with my girlfirnd and we got friendly with this indonesian chick and we went a travelling and we picked up her friend and caught this bus way out to this beach in the middle of nowhere only to find after we'd gotten off that it was the last bus and the town was only "open" on weekends so it was deserted and we could only find one place which would give us one room with one bed.

and i woke up at 5am to find the two indonesian girls kneeling on the end of the bed with their heads covered facing mecca and praying.

it was a very nice bedsharing experience.

― gaz (gaz), Monday, 23 June 2003 02:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I love to share a bed - I sleep better with another body breathing near me. But I also tend to cuddle in my sleep (not in the sexual way) and so I always warn people about this if they're going to be platonic sleep partners.

Unfortunately, I also have a ridiculously high libido and so I end-up getting aroused unless my bed partner is A) a family member OR B) - shit, there must be another instance. Never mind. But just because I am aroused does NOT mean that I want to act on that impulse.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 23 June 2003 03:40 (twenty-two years ago)

no woman has ever trusted me to do this. if i did agree to it, id probably end up thinking about sex, even if that was not my original intention. even if they werent that attractive, any hole is a goal after all. as long as they're not family, or like 4 or something. and also, id wake up with a hardon.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Monday, 23 June 2003 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I've done this several times with friends. Have none of you toured in a band, or gone on a trip before?

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 23 June 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't mind sharing a bed with people so long as I don't dislike them and they don't snore or smell. If sharing then I expect spooning but if it's with a boy me spoon them coz I don't want to be next to their penis.

I do prefer to sleep alone though.

― toraneko (toraneko), Monday, 23 June 2003 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

last weekend, I went to bed with my wife....I woke up in the morning in the guest room snuggled in with my best friend. I have no recollection of this.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 23 June 2003 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Were you on something?

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 23 June 2003 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Duvel.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 23 June 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

and about 10 20oz michelob lights.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 23 June 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I have shared beds with people totally platonically, it worked out ok. One time I was really drunk and two male friends (one an ex) decided to take advantage of me on the sly, like thinking that they could do it without the other guy noticing. That was until they grabbed each other's hands by accident, realized what they both were doing, and freaked out. That was the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 23 June 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Apparently he heard me come in there and asked me what I was doing. I mumbled some nonsense and snuggled right in. He got up to go into the living room but realized the cat was on the couch and came back in. I guess i had stolen all the covers. When i woke up in the morning I had no clue where I was, I then realized i was in my underwear and in bed with my buddy. I made a prompt exit. And yes, I went to bed in my underwear.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 23 June 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Well that's not unusual, what is unusual is that he didn't just move the cat.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 23 June 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

he's allergic.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 23 June 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Every time I have to share a bed with my sister, she ends up trying to spoon me thinking I'm her boyfriend. Either that or she claws at my legs with her toenails. It was especially difficult this past trip because we had to share an old double bed.

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Monday, 23 June 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

spoon? I do not know this term.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 23 June 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Think of two spoons lying in a drawer. . .

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 23 June 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I usually stack them on top of one another??

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Best bedshare story I know: a gay male friend went on a road trip with a str8 female friend, and visited some relatives of hers. The relatives had a big friendly dog. These friends of mine, who had no sexual tension going on, shared a guest-bed. The female friend awakened in the night with the male friend patting her ass; she sat up and the male friend gasped in horror "Oh my god! I thought you were the dog!"

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Spooning:
http://www.closet-poets.com/thumbs/thumb_spoon.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Once a long time back I was travelling and met up with a female friend. We stayed up for a long time at the hotel and just ended up crashing together on the bed, fully dressed. Nothing happened, but it was still very nice. (ps. Spooning rules)

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 23 June 2003 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Moral of this thread? "You can share the bed with someone, but keep the hands, lips, etc. on lockdown."

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 23 June 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

an entirely asleep me reared up and declared I am going to punch you in the tits, girlfriend of the time disbelieved. I then, whilst utterly asleep, punched her in the tits and preoceeded to laugh maniacally. The moral of the story is leave me to live in a shack at the edge of the marsh, selling gewgaws to tourists. Or else I'll punch you in the tits.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

i find its not good for me to sleep in the same bed as others

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Once, while having a dream about getting in a fight with a skinhead in line at the post office, I punched my ex-boyfriend in the head.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

i read that as "getting in a fight with a shark in line at the post office"

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 01:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Once, while having a dream about getting in a fight with a skinhead in line at the post office, I punched my ex-boyfriend in the head.

Was this why he became and ex-boyfriend?

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

a shark would've been cooler. And he's an ex b/c he's an asshole really. heh.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Good thing you punched him in the head then!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:06 (twenty-two years ago)

for a minute i thought i wasn't the only one who had shark dreams *sniff*

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:07 (twenty-two years ago)

jess = troy mcclure

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:08 (twenty-two years ago)

One time, my dad apparently like jumped up and whaled on my mom in his sleep. Or "sleep" take your pick.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Waking up with boner aimed at platonic friend's asshole = worst ever! http://while1.org/p.jpg

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

sure i love ya baby...like i love fresca

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Breaking then-boyfriend's nose while having a nightmare = bad idea. We then became bed-share partners and gave-up the relationship crap. Worked out much better.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...

did this recently, didn't sleep too well tho, felt a bit weird but still kinda nice

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Me & four other people all passed out in my buddy's waterbed the other night while watching a Butthole Surfers concert DVD. I was the first one to wake up; I laughed way more than I should've at the way everybody did a little wave when I got up outta bed.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Were your buddies all female?
OH wait, guess not, as you were watching BUTTHOLE SURFERS!

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually three of 'em wuz ladeez. In fact, one of the BH's drummers wuz a ladee too (although we weren't for certain about that until about halfway through the thing).

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

RE: bedsharing ettiquette.

What is the polite thing to do if you wake up in bed with a female _friend_ and you have an erection?

Pretend it's not there? Try to hide it? Just don't mention it?

What would the girls here prefer buys to do in this situation?

― mei (mei), Thursday, 23 October 2003 09:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Turn into a nice cooked breakfast, I suspect.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 23 October 2003 09:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Just pretend it's not there is probably the best option. Least embarrassing for all involved. DON'T make a joke about it, please. Hiding it is an option if you're wearing baggy pyjamas.

But you know, really. Most of us know about morning wood and all that. It only becomes an issue if you make it one!

― kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 09:56 (twenty-one years ago)

i agree with kate. chances are we won't even notice. just don't bring it, um, up.

next ettiquette question: ex boyfriends coming across oceans to visit.it's been ages since we broke up. now with a very nice boy here. do i share the bed? or make them sleep on the floor?

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 23 October 2003 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

How many ex boyfriends are you expecting?!?!?

If you have a current partner, former partners sleep on the floor. Sorry, I don't care how good a friend they are now, it's just not happening.

― kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 10:01 (twenty-one years ago)

As long as you're not sticking it in our backs saying 'someone wants to say hello' we'll usually be cool with it!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

To answer the original question: I see nothing weird about sharing a bed, with good friends, or with not-so-good friends; I've done this for as long as I can remember. Admittedly, sharing a bed with semi-srangers usually happens only when a lot of people crash in (for example after a party), and the only other option would be sleeping on the floor. With close friends, you have the benefit that you can cuddle with them (non-sexually, of course) if you both feel like it. However, at least in my case, this applies to female friends only, since male folks are often scared of same-sex intimacy, even between friends and with no romantic intentions.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 23 October 2003 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course make them sleep on the floor Colette!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's great.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 23 October 2003 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a tremendously bad idea - i did it a few times with a female friend a few years back, it culminated in the obvious way and ended up pretty much ruining a really good friendship. as for sharing beds with other males, i've done it a few times. they have to be v good mates, not smell, stick strictly to their side of the bed and not snore at all, plus it has to be a last resort i.e. thru skintness when travelling or there being no other room available. basically, if i don't want to snuggle up with you, then i'd really rather not have you in my bed.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 23 October 2003 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Fair point, well made!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a tremendously bad idea - i did it a few times with a female friend a few years back, it culminated in the obvious way and ended up pretty much ruining a really good friendship.

Well, it depends on the case. I have lots of female friends, and with most of them, there are no romantic nor sexual feelings involved, so I know sharing a bed with them won't "culminate in the obvious". As I said, I've done it a zillion times. In my opinion, it'd be sad if there couldn't exist some friendly, non-romantic tenderness between friends of different sex.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 23 October 2003 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i shared a bed with one of my houseguests last night, and it was fine although i'm used to having so much space that i kept trying to stretch out diagonally and bumping into her. that's probably some bad bed-sharing etiquette right there.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 23 October 2003 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

As long as you're not sticking it in our backs saying 'someone wants to say hello' we'll usually be cool with it!

This is very true.

Generally, I don't mind sharing my bed with friends - it's enormous, so there's lots of room, and I always feel bad making people sleep on the couch - sometimes, though, if there is someone who has exhibited past bad-bed-sharing behavior, to the couch they go.

(Also, if someone is in my bed and annoying me, I'll get up and go sleep on the couch myself).

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 23 October 2003 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I always offer my bed to share. My cats sleep on the floor so therefore there is hair. A couple of times this scenario has "culminated in the obvious" but, eh, what's a little fucking between friends?

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 23 October 2003 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

My girlfriend and I live together but have our own rooms...we used to share a bed often, but since moving here we've reverted to sleeping alone during the week so we can stretch out and get good sleep (two cats make the bed even smaller). I think the solution is a bigger bed.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 23 October 2003 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

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