"Nothing out of our loins, Sweetie, will ever see the light of day!" Gay, Homo and Queer for Spring 2013

Nothing out of our loins, Sweetie, will ever see the light of day!
Nothing out of our loins, Sweetie, will ever see the light of day!
So weep in a way and rejoice in another
We'll never feel the pain of being a mother
We can only be happy to say that We're brothers!
We're brothers!
Bloodbrothers!

fuck you beat me to it i had a whole thing planned

but OK OK! spring! woohoo!

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g192/rrawn/ilxspringthreadimg.jpg

even though i'm fairly inactive or lurkerish of late i've always wanted to use this for a thread title so have at it...

:D

sorry to surm x

no NO

no sorries

"Hi, thread. I'm here for spring!"

http://cdn01.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/gyllenhaal-london/orlando-bloom-car-crash-02.jpg

fuckin muppet

orlando-bloom-car-crash-02.jpg?

also A+ song choice jed

i think we discussed it for a thread title last year or maybe before that, donna.

god I love that song, nice choice

i'm listening to Korn

although I always though it was "our loins three", as in "I wanna walk through Sodom with a boy on each arm"

I'm listneing to Waxahatchee, Kacey Musgraves, and Earl Sweatshirt.

everclear

listening to the A/C vents

I'm listening to "Let's Pretend We're Married."

ALL THE HIPPIES SING TOGETHER

yay! spring thread

Rev is ready to spring into spring

Excuse me but I need a mouth like yours.

!

I used a variant on that line on a guy I dated, but he was already mine so I can't tell you whether it worked.

Did he help you forget ... um, him I guess?

i need help forgetting

obv had to google this lyric, listening now, don't remember hearing it... too 'cabaret' to get played on US weird radio?

Have never heard the thread title song ever before.

Morbs i'm surprised you don't know it.

Have never heard OF the thread title song (or the artist) ever before.

That too, but I was afeared to admit it.

i had "i, jonasbrother be" as a DN once

the shock headed peters were all straight afaik which makes this little homage to gay love all the fruitier.

when they look so like a girl it makes it easier to swallow....

I have heard the Shockheaded Peters before. I see this song appears to have been played once on WFMU in the last 6 years.

wtf is a shockheaded peter

and why would you listen to one when you could listen to Prince?

I can't understand any curiosity.

officially have not gotten a msg on scruff for about 4 days

i think whatever sex gene i had has been mutated by all the cigarettes i've been smoking

saturday mornings rule

no but rly i am having a good time blasting music in my empty apartment

sometimes i think my apparent lack of sex appeal is some kind of innate defense mechanism my body has developed to ward off infection

i think i've reached a point of saturation on a4a

also lack of sex appeal? come on.

ur sweet

and sexy!

Everyone in this town knows I'm an ice queen by now.

^^great alt country lyric can i steal it?

Only if you dress up like Barbara Mandrell.

love that woman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFo1UQTThCg

when i first put that on and unmuted my computer the spotify was still playing hall & oates and the mashup was v confusing

good song btw!

i love PS but i realize they are too "gloss-pop" for most people. phil can't stand it.

'steve mcqueen'/'two wheels good' 4ever

Watched Spring Breakers. Getting tired of the exploitation of women -- men need to be exploited too.

Only one character gave firearm fellatio in that movie iirc, and it wasn't Selena Gomez.

(Also, the guy in the jock strap who was "never gonna get this pussy" was hot, outside of the circumstances.)

it is finally sunny in this city and i am stuck inside struggling to make this paper draft happen ~le sigh~

but i also spent most of last week eating delicious passover food and cooking delicious passover food and taking long naps. so, on balance life is good and i deserve every minute of this academic pain.

learning is v nice, i'm impressed wit your drive

guys i am ... excited. i took some nighttime flu pills tho so i think i can sleep. but i am excited bc it looks like a tune that i wrote for a friend of mine to feature on his track is going to be picked up and promoted by a label. and remixed. sooo ... i was definitely excited about that news.

yay

flu medicine worked

ish

Is that what the song is about?

lol no. it's about someone who's gone now

like you can't ever see them again

I hope it sounds like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3sai-IYjOI

only in my dreams unfortunately

I just rrealized I'm going through a deep hetero phase and I'm having mixed feelings about that.

rev, i support u no matter what *squeezes ur shoulder*

there's something i've never experienced.

thanks elmo, I'm glad to have such supportive friends

what makes it 'deep hetero'?

is that like 'deep house'?

to the hilt

like, deep

Deep, deep inside. Deep, deep, deep inside.

and i'm never gonna hide it again~

so last night something happened to me for the first time ever:

i had a wet dream

How does that even happen?

(Honestly, I don't think I've ever had one of those.)

i always assumed they were myths

I think I had one once? I thought they only happened to people in books.

and, Rev, more bumpin' for the jumpin.

I think usually right about the time most people find out they can have them, they initiate the manual release ritual.

or find a five-fingered crank in a bar or order one online.

i was having a dream in which i was having sex and then in the dream i came and then when i woke up it was clear that, you know

I wonder if I don't have them because I put in a good crank before bed. Does it help?

actually last night i was like "i should jerk off" but then i watched game of thrones and fell asleep

a lesson for us all

that has never once happened to me

i'm 24! wtf!

i can count the number of times this has happened to me on one hand and it has always been weird. not recommended imo.

it's all very irl consequences

my hand is the reason i can't count etc etc

haw

so is this phenomenon what separates us from from the straights?

That and Tapout.

phil mentioned having them pretty often, which blew my mind. it's never happened once.

to me, i mean.

is that like 'deep house'?

dammit Alex, u beat me to it.

but then i watched game of thrones and fell asleep

so it was Peter Dinklage?

yeah, like deep house. you just have to feel it.

What do you guys make of a somewhat obviously gay twentysomething male who defines himself as "celibate?" Not that my monogamously coupled self has any personal investment in this, but...odd, no?

the catholic church, last 300 years

I should add that he's not a priest. Or Eric.

hardcore morrissey fan?

The too often silent majority.

Purposely celibate gays, or hardcore Morrissey fans?

I didn't know Tapout wear had become a gay thing; do you see ppl at bars in it? I guess I will stick to Everlast.

xp Purposely gay Morrissey fans

Put some Grace Adeva in your face beava

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t21dMFdA0NU

Morning, gays! I'm listening to Haim and working on a Soft Cell feature.

listening to "same old scene" and eating yogurt

^^^ one of my favorite songs. I dunno about the yogurt – depends on the flavor.

plain w/ bananas, strawberries and granola mixed in

Same old stir-ins.

listening to the new Robin Thicke track and eating a blueberry bagel.

i've definitely had wet dreams. kind of a good time. o and i'm also into some hetero bullshit these days. not really upset about it.

football games?

well i have been watching football yea

and last night a straight bartender and i compared notes on our significant others so as far as i'm concerned i've crossed over

drinking strawberry grape banana smoothie

listening to maurizio bianchi

downstairs I can hear my bf on the phone earnestly discussing the value of some rare silver coins

sick as a dawg: my throat hurts like a muthafucka and I have a LOT of writing to do, like, now

yikes

Avoiding listening to The Knife and eating Mini Eggs.

btw last weekend my bf and i got thrown out of a taxi for being gay! we were going from a wedding to a house party and were kissing (not overly) in the back seat, all of a sudden the driver is like, please get out of my cab. it was quite unexpected, i'm annoyed i didn't note the taxi firm (we'd flagged it down rather than booked it, and when it happened we were too busy telling him to go fuck himself). it worked out well for us in that he'd basically driven us half the way there for free, though.

fuck

it worked out well for us in that he'd basically driven us half the way there for free, though.

http://www.retro-housewife.com/images/home-ec/1960/hints-from-heloise.jpg

An unpleasant reminder that a certain segment needs to die quickly.

The only time I was getting groped by two guys in the backseat of a taxi I caught the cabbie ogling us in the rearview.

Hu-mil-i-ay-TING.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eNxnIep8HWI/T5bcIWsEIJI/AAAAAAAAAHM/4SHEp9chDxc/s1600/LoveStreamsHumiliating.JPG

Somebody just used the phrase "very cock oriented" and I think it's my new favorite.

hey guys --

it's a very weird day

drew i hope you're feeling better

good morning

hi lou

it's very pretty outside in new york today don't u think?

it's 33 degrees! so no

gotta put on that faux fur

yes it is. and looks like this will be the last of the 30-some degree weather finally...

ooh boy break out the sunblock

lol

speaking of, i just got word that i can keep my (pretty great) job even if i decide to move to LA.

i'm terrified tbh. not sure i'm ready to leave yet.

u a baller lou

when are you moving?

june. but i'm having a 4 floor birthday party before i go

:D

there's gonna be like house music on the first floor

jazz on the 2nd floor

pop on the 3rd

and coke on the roof

haha jk, i don't even do coke, so LA

LA on the roof?

i'm off to the UWS in my surgical mask to see a Romanian film

now? that's like a opening scene of a Polanski film

i think i need a second breakfast

lou are you still on your five bagel a day diet?

So like you all have six-figure jobs, huh.

ahaha since ~december i have completely eradicated bagels from my diet! i don't know what got into me. i still like them, i just can't...

now i have salmon/eggs/spinach + sausage or mashed sweet potatoes or both. so hooked.

that sounds like a suzanne somers breakfast regimen

LOL

eric- if you round up...

now lou your work is mostly web based right?

yeah, like everything. that's why i can get away with doing it here (or LA) even though everyone i work with is in DC and India.

i got short-term leave, E honey

i think i need a second breakfast

― surm, Thursday, April 4, 2013 7:02 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

surm you are going to write a song, preferably today, and this is going to be the opening line.

you should make it sound like the new Jessie Ware song (which if you haven't heard it you will probably rly love)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4v_RpIDBwM

ok dude

tonight

my job is five figures and none of those figures is larger than 3

lou if you move to LA you will never eat a bagel ever again (they're all terrible here). also yay!

i was paying the cashier at the gas station this morning and this lady tried to grab my hand so she could look at my ring. i had to do that thing where you have to contort and slither away from an unwanted grasp. in that moment, it reminded me of cruising tbh.

"i was just trying to look at your ring"

yea i figured

don't touch me

just don't

donna- learned that the hard way when i first visited. :)

ew i had a bagel in pennsylvania once that was literally like vomit

elmo that's fucked

well, i needed a new DN

i had a fucked up moment last night, but today i'm eating pasta

just fyi. what's today wednesday? thursday? it's thursday right? thank god fuck

what's up this weekend guys

umm also i just dropped the f bomb like 4 times and i'm sorry

I'm lunching with a visiting friend, finishing an essay, and grading some.

I am sitting in a hotel room in the Midwest, writing.

There's a battle going on between "I feel angry about something" and "It would be really cool if I wasn't angry about this" and it's created a positive feedback loop and when I close my eyes I feel like I can trace the neural pathway that is firing over and over again through my brain like an internal game of Rollercoaster Tycoon.

On the other hand, I been jogging a bunch and my jeans look awesome

anger's a real loopy thing

I'm trying to get on top of a bunch of shit today including:

-dealing w/ a broken hearing aid, which involves finding a new audiologist in Philly that can fuck w/ my brand of hearing aids, which requires me to get set up with the state dept of vocational rehabilitation for financial assistance, which requires a bunch of phone calls and voicemails and appointments and waiting so that I can make more phone calls and appointments with an audiologist and wait some more, etc

-dealing w/ taxes bcz my employer is a fucking bonehead and failed to withhold state tax, so I owe like $400 that I don't have, and I cannot find ANY info online abt PA's installment repayment plans, and the lady on the phone told me to just "write a letter to this address" but gave me next to no details, so now I have to write a letter and go to FedEx to print it out and mail it and like hope I gave them enough info and then wait to hear back from them re: what the fuck it is I'm supposed to do

-dealing w/ getting a PA ID which is crazy stressful bcz I don't have a lease or utilities in my name and they want me to, like actually physically bring my homeowner-roommate with me as proof of address bcz a W-2 and a bank statement apparently aren't enough

I am so fucking sick of having no money/no printer/a shitty job/etc (I have $50 til next thurs and then after that I have to pay student loans and deal w/ taxes) I am so frazzled. I think my honey's buying me Vietnamese food tonight though so there's that to look forward to.

I also have to try to get my mgr to let me switch one of my days so that I can pick up a second job that would conflict w/ my current work schedule (it'd be 4p-12a at a gay "bookstore" which I think wd be kinda innaresting, for a few months maybe)

My weekend is nearly identical to Alfred's, only friendless.

Also, just definitively found out today that I'm SOL for summer work. I wish there was such a thing as a gay bookstore in this crap town, cause that'd be an awesome summer job.

i'm sorry bro. well you've got us!

stevie just be as organized as possible and try and take it one step at a time. buy a notebook with sections and make lists of steps you need to do. i hope it works out - enjoy that vietnamese!

this weekend will be my last at the restaurant, thank fuck

xpost

Didn't realize at first that your comment was wrt my friendless remark and assumed you meant something like "let ilx be your gay bookstore!"

"all the back rooms you need are right here, babygirl"

lol i mean, we can be your bookstore too

or something

I'll be your bookstore
read what you are

i'm eating a mango and listening to syreeta

kind of baffled by how easy my taxes were this year.

stevie- at least mercury's not retrograde anymore while you're trying to get all that stuff done. ;)

this weekend i'm trying to wrap up a project i've been working on forever and will prob look for somewhere to go out but not holding my breath. i'm a bit cursed in that i cannot dance unless i'm really into the music. it's like dancing is an endorsement of the music and i'm not willing to endorse just anything.

next weekend i FINALLY get to spend some time with my bf. it's been almost 2 months now.

i feel exact EXACTLY the same about dancing/music, lou

it's a problem

so ur not going to that shade thing what is it

it's very limiting! lol

which thing??

i don't know some new party by Ladyfag called shade, saturday

i think u van visit clubshade.com

also tomorrow night they're doing interracial gay night at Bedlam which played good music one night i was there

(i remember because i was like o not every song sucks lol)

it's like dancing is an endorsement of the music and i'm not willing to endorse just anything.

whenever they played e.g. the ting tings at sugarland i was like "welp time to head to the bar now"

i walked by there when i was last in town and burst out laughing seeing it wedged between those new super-tall condos btw

omg are there new condos there

hilarious

i love sugarland but their love for kesha is sad

also tomorrow night they're doing interracial gay night at Bedlam which played good music one night i was there

oh yeah, almost went there once with ashland.

one thing i will say: i'm ok with being picky because it really heightens the fun when there's finally a good night.

yea fuck dancing to some shit

i still can't believe that moment u had with "so lonely" remix on the dancefloor, i would have crashed

ugg so fun

ive been in Sugarland once and had an even worse experience than i would've predicted.

:) same here

I've listened to Sugarland and had an even worse experience than I would've predicted.

Must ... refrain from ... cheap sugarwalls joke.

it's like dancing is an endorsement of the music and i'm not willing to endorse just anything.

it is! and nor should you be

I tried making something like the dancing-as-endorsement argument when refusing to dance to "I Got a Feeling" at my sister's wedding. See, *you guys* get it!

my refusal to dance to "i gotta feeling" has been non-negotiable

I've seen people dance to that song, and it's like watching people eat glass.

wish you could all come to my night HOT MESS and dance in a gay environment. you'd be able to dance to Barnt and soundstream as well as kate bush and the eurythmics. such good times. it's really amazing.

par example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W6zniId77Y

i would love yr dance nights c0lin

you would!

so we (my bf and i) are gonna be in nyc in june, prob around the 2nd or 3rd. anyone willing to spare a couch? :3

oops, didn't mean to kill the thread.

I only have the one I sleep on. It'd be nice to see you tho! that's around when I'm sposed to rejoin real life.

Sugarland's song "stay" is really beautiful, i just put it on

that woman has a great voice. i think she was on "Duets" the show

last night i threw someone up against a wall, and then he told me he had a boyfriend

but then he offered me a bump so it was fine

apparently will be 78 in NY today. Spring has sprung, and it's well hung.

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/11016_419308244832910_934376290_n.jpg

oh yeah, the Mets are playing in Minneapolis this week. 'tis pity.

disgusting out here

The answer is clear. We need to swap bodies.

word

so i had this guy over last night - i met him on grindr. but it wasn't necessarily like a hookup thing bcz he wasn't interested in guys with boyfriends and i am also just looking for more gay friends in town. so i figured, pretty harmless. guy was a total wackjob! i mean like ADD central, i could barely get a word in. eek

Do they have speed dating for friends?

I guess that's just called "being in public."

so did you hook up, surm?

lol Eric

no we didn't hook up, the timing was off. he was kind of cute, from texas, but i just needed to end that situation

It was 82 today, actually; I went to the hematologist and The Last Detail.

I have a v interesting interview tomorrow.

what is it?

o god is this gonna be like one of those helen hunt things

Ye Olde Smutte Shoppe?

Eggs gafloofen? Ham and goodrahoggin? Pigs in a svengabluten?

Wrong thread!

this place asked me if i wanted to come in for an interview this week (but didn't specify when) but hasn't responded to any of my other emails. fuck me.

i don't know what i'm doing wrong

can you phone them?

yeah i'll do that tomorrow

I work at a porn shop now.

YAY

awesome!!!!

In addition to working at a mom-and-pop natural foods store

very good combo

Can't wait until you answer the company phone with the wrong greeting.

is this the type of adult bookstore that has video booths, then?

yes.

Oh. This explains it: from

http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/features/2013/postcards_from_camp/crawford_dietrich_garbo_garland_why_is_camp_so_obsessed_with_women.html

The one friend I had who worked at a porn shop always told the story of someone trying to return a used dildo.

that's like the story i used to tell of my mom and i returning a piece after we smoked out of it bc the carb was fucked up

i think i'm going to a party called Brother Fucker tomorrow night woohoo!

http://gallery.mailchimp.com/5f425f899178677d2f2ca06ac/images/Gayletter197.jpg

this is the event img hmmmmm

i can't even get that image to load

i think it's too big

...which is why i'm going! BA DUM CH!

that sounds awesome but prob too crazy for me

i wish u could come with me!! we could be the weirdos in the back

you should show me the town when i'm in nyc :D

:o)

i was gonna see if sarge wanted to go but he's not online

is that graphic design deliberately referencing butt mag or is it somehow affiliated or

who knows it's all the same shit

what are you doing this vknd?

it's my first weekend off in a long time! i haven't planned anything yet

if i'm feeling motivated i'll start packing. we're moving at the end of the month. it's kind of exciting but also a little sad.

ugh us too, next month or two. fuck if i'm not gonna be bawling my eyes out

we're also moving at the end of the month, but i'm not super-attached to where i am now

i'd like to move but i'm too tired to look. :p

j03!! Where are you moving to?? What will become of your dear roommate?

we're still gonna be living together! moving into a *house* in highland park

aaiieee you fucking grown-up you!!!

haha, we just lucked into an astonishingly cheap rental (well, for LA at least). also we'll have a third (TBD) roommate. but we're gonna have a backyard and plants and stuff so hey everybody come over after may 4th

ugh us too, next month or two. fuck if i'm not gonna be bawling my eyes out

i got emotional when we replaced the first mattress we bought together so get ready

damn you guys already went through a mattress??

lol

LOL, you guys. I can't help being Mr. Opposite, but I have taken to crying because I CAN'T move, lately.

^^^^

well ,unless I figure out how to go from surgical masks and at-home eating to apartment hunting and moving in 2 months, neither can I.

Well, looks like this is one case I can't make a grass-is-always-greener claim.

moving just gets me feeling really vulnerable. i'm a little hermit crab scuttling from one shell to a another, please don't hurt my tender abdomen!

me2!

but i understand the reverse; wanting to see different parts of the world

3 years in one city is long enough i think

my people around the neighborhood know me, i'm like that old man. they're like "you want your usual?"

and when i go to the cleaners with my parents they're like "mommy!" "it's his mommy!" i'm like really?...

i'm pretty nervous that my friends won't come to visit me at my new place because it is technically outside of providence. rhode islanders are notoriously begrudging about having to travel 5 minutes out of their way.

In my 5 years at college I moved to: freshman dorm > back home > sophomore dorm > house > back home > house > summer apartment > house that I wasn't actually allowed to live in > nothing for two months > apartment > back home. I now have an extreme aversion to moving.

The place I am now I have made a "commitment" to by unpacking a bunch of shit that just stayed in boxes during most of those moves, investing in/assembling bookshelves, etc. I've been here for a year and a half, which is the longest I've been anywhere since high school.

elmo what's pvd like? Do people mostly walk or drive or take public transit? What's parking like?

http://www.queerty.com/theater-showgirls-the-musical-bad-taste-at-its-best-20130412

This offends me so deeply.

"As Nomi, April Kidwell gives more to the role than Elizabeth Berkley ever could have. Her every line is punctuated with the perfect guttural grunt, glazed facial expression, or inappropriate sexual gesture. Sometimes all three."

like, way to miss the whole fucking point, asshole.

providence is pretty walkable / bikeable, for the most part, and there's a pretty decent amount of people getting around on bikes, especially in my current neighborhood (west side / armory). there's RIPTA but i haven't taken the bus for years so i'm not sure what service is like these days.

3 years in one city is long enough i think

not feeling this. 20, maybe.

if you like it. i don't think i've found my ideal yet.

the neighborhood we're moving to is just over the line into cranston. we're 1 block from the waterfront and 1 mile north of one of RI's historic villages which also happens to be a gayish community, from what i understand. there's also less noise & less property crime & a friend of ours living a block away.

i posted this over on the ILS home decor thread but since i'm psyching myself up itt i'll post it here too: photos of the new apt that i pulled from the CL ad

http://imgur.com/a/6FBlj

that is a big bathroom

i know. we could easily fit a couch in there.

tbh as nervous as i am about moving i am getting kinda excited about OMG DECORATING because i am basically the zodiac stereotype of a cancer queen

i thought it was a bedroom until i saw the toilet!

I know this isn't specific to gay causes but I am so fucking tired of people just taking every blog article/news story abt an incidence of discrimination at face value and getting way up in arms abt stuff without giving it an ounce of critical thinking. Example: http://www.towleroad.com/2013/04/gay-man-arrested-at-hospital-for-refusing-to-leave-partners-bedside.html when I read this, what I get from it is "wow, this guy was probably being a disruptive asshole in ways that aren't mentioned here and it prob had much less to do with his being gay than the reader is being led to believe", and then SURPRISE: http://www.towleroad.com/2013/04/rmc.html dude was actually being a disruptive asshole! Obviously discrimination happens and obviously it's a problem but people seem to want to blindly believe everything that is given to them, no matter how highly improbable a given scenario might be.

It just seems to happen a LOT w/ gay shit

also xp omglol at that expansive hardwood bathroom. Please do great things with it.

"wow, this guy was probably being a disruptive asshole in ways that aren't mentioned here and it prob had much less to do with his being gay than the reader is being led to believe"

I came to this conclusion meself after giving it another go.

Yeah, I'm sure there are plenty of ugly scenes at hospitals among hetero marriages where the family can't stand the spouse.

3 years in one city is long enough i think

not feeling this. 20, maybe.

Some cities, obv, merit longer stays.

not anywhere that has 6 fucking months of winter, anyway

7

I know realistically that (climate change omens aside) this year is an exception, but I sure feel at this very moment like winter will really and truly never, ever end.

like there's a reason this area was only populated by nomadic tribes for 12,000 years

fuckinnn today is so cold and rainy and i am lovin it so hard i could jump up and down for joy. i'm dressed in all black and there's a ghost smoking with a huge smile on his face on my tshirt.

*fuming*

<3 i love you

I'm going to wear all black today

It's 85 degrees. Let's go to the beach, gays.

Except I'm not bcz I don't own any black jeans.

xp oh ffs alfo

it is just 40 and raining all this week and not fucking helping anything

It could be snowing and 30s for the forseeable future.

"LET'S SEE YOUR WHITE-ASS LEGS." The Summer Queer Thread.

There's got to be a winter after...

re: that hospital story...idk guys, i think i'm more likely to trust the daughter's account of things over the hospital who's probably trying to save face. also i'd be pretty upset in that situation too if i were that guy!

odd experience at a dinner party last night, our host & neighbor invited me & D to meet a few other gays living in the area. anyway, its was really quite a nice time but our host was getting increasingly grabby & smoochy with all of the other 3 guests, which i guess was fine? and the other couple in attendance were talking about their respective lovers and orgy experiences and D & I didn't have much to contribute to those discussions so it was a little awkward for a minute.

i mean, i totally get being gay, and i love being gay, but when you're hosting a dinner party, don't get grabby. just don't do it. it's tacky imo, and like, fun doesn't have to be trashy.

i'm sorry if that was harsh, i was in a similar situation on saturday night and it was just like . . . i get that we have a lot more free passes than other members of the population, but like, stop grabbing his ass. it's awkward.

i know it might sound like i'm being judgmental here but i'm not trying to be. i felt kind of square & old-fashioned sitting there with my monogamous partner. we have a sex life but it's private!

Given the direction your host seemed to be trying to push the whole thing in, it would've been far more polite if he'd sent out his invitations for a "Dinner Party and Possible Orgy."

yeah, i dunno! i took it in good faith that the basis of our friendship with the host is platonic and nobody tried to make a move on us prudes so i guess it's cool

the saag paneer was v good but indian food doesn't seem like a wise pre-orgy meal, anyway

Tonight's menu will be saag paneer followed by coffee enemas.

followed by sorbet & prosecco on the lanai

"Saag paneer, she serves me. In 10 minutes, I could be skywriting."

I once made thai curry for a "friend" who came over for "dinner".

Never again.

B made me curry on saturday because i wasn't feeling well and i forgot to bring gas-x :/

well at last u guys have hit on a topic familiar to me

if I visit, Morbs, I'll bring a pad thai enema.

Flag Padthai

itt: gay men talk abt riri

not gonna lie the #2 train is running express today, oof

uh, sorry for #tmi

xp omfg

you win at euphs tbh

this is why we can't discuss scat w/ restraint

i had an interview at a pet store called "doggy style"

how'd it go?

it was a dog

it was weird, like a group interview. they have a store cat though.

elmo I started my job at the porn shop last night and we have like 10 Bijou DVDs and I thought of you.

zou bijou bijou

i don't even know how many vintage porn titles i have on my hard drive or why i haven't created a million ani gifs from them yet

vintage porn!

fer sure

Guys, I just found out that Belinda Carlisle's son is gay!

Now, I'm happily pretty-much married and wouldn't trade in my bf for anything, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm not currently entertaining fantasies of Belinda Carlisle being my mother in law.

(lying if I said that I'm not...)

I need to let y'all know that my team won My So-Called Life quizzo last night w/ a score of 59/60.

ahhhhh

what was your team name?

what question did you get wrong, then?

well we got 3 questions wrong but one of them we got 2 bonus points on so.

omg what a field of expertise....

i am not permitted in bars as yet, so i missed the all-Magnetic Fields karaoke in Williamsburg last night.

things we got wrong incl. who was hottest on the sophomore top 40 list, and a 70's Aaron Spelling produced drama starring Kristy McNichol that a producer said Angela's character was a spiritual successor to

it's been so long since i watched MSCL -- the original telecasts -- that I'm sure I've forgotten nearly all of it. I do remember what Ramones tune Jordan Catalano sang at his lousy band's rehearsal.

well see i wd've gotten the "Family" question for you.

things we got right incl what Mr. Racine wrote on his chalkboard to inspire his students ("Question Everything"), what singer Graham and Angela bonded over at the end of this one episode (Billie Holliday), what Graham said his Native American name could be in this one episode ("Hypnotized by Food")

i've only watched each ep once, so i wouldn't have been much help

was it multiple choice or short answer

all of them were short answer. Our team name was The Rayanne Graffing Calculators.

GUYS I JUST BOUGHT THIS AND I AM SO SO EXCITED

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280755930129&var=580050101691

i hope you bought enough to share with the rest of this thread, mister

ni-i-ice

would rock that

Ramzi is this woman your favorite forever?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLH12UsKI7Q

Just popping in to share the passage of gay marriage in New Zealand. Spectators break out the Maori love song "Pokarekare Ana" to honor the bill's lesbian sponsor:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilMBLV3A6ug

BTW, the sponsor was Louisa Wall, not Ana. Still made me feel a little better about being a human being after this week.

very very exciting!

Hey surmounter, consider moving to Minnesota. This happens on April 18th here:

http://cbsminnesota.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/snow-forecast-april-18-2013.png?w=420&h=316&crop=1

good lord

you poor bastards

soo luckyyyyyyyyyy. it's nice and chilly here today which i'm glad about, but i'm quite sure the sun has its plans for a blistering comeback sometime soon

84 degrees again and I'm wearing goddamn long sleeves. Thank goodness for my orange denims.

I mean it. There is absolutely no reason we should swap bodies right now.

i don't know what got into me yesterday i wore a sweater. it was almost 70 degrees. i swear i almost cut it off.

who knows how to make margaritas?

I do.

Come over. Wear orange shorts.

Eric, I know you're a gibson girl.

Also, this thread title can just be shortened to "nothing will ever see the light of day" as far as I'm concerned.

What has or is about to happen?

Thank goodness for my orange denims.

Goodness has nothing to do with it.

started taking the art off the walls yesterday and had my first official moving-related emotional crisis. fun!

It hasn't been spring here so much as summer and winter at the same damn time. The other day it was gorgeous out so I bought a paleta and by the time I got home it was hailing.

I just messaged someone on Scruff and said "Hey goofball come over and get stoned and watch "Untitled (Fall '95)" with me" and I realized that that is pretty much my dream pick-up line; like if someone said that to me I would commit to marriage on the spot.

If someone addressed me as goofball I'm pretty sure I'd icegrill the fuck out of them

ha!

you goofballs.

look at the chocolate truffles my bf made for me this weekend

http://pics.lockerz.com/s/289998636

L: white chocolate, orange and cardamom. R: rum and almonds.

there were also chicken breasts stuffed with goat's cheese and roasted peppers on a bed of sweet potato mash <3

(spring has FINALLY come to london, we spent most of the weekend moseying down canals and along the thames and in beer gardens and also in bed, it has been slightly perfect)

looks good, sounds perfect

http://www.damianieditore.com/en-US/product/329

want

my bf is going to FI this summer with his bros. meaning i get the house to myself for a little while

/bachelorpad

when do you want us over?

:P

hey y'all. i'm at work. it is unbelievably beautiful outside. i took off my ben sherman work shirt and sat half-naked in the park on my lunch break.

anyway, since i live in a converted truck, i don't have wifi, so it's kind of difficult to post here very often. but know that i am here in spirit!

xo

i think i want to move to seattle

we won't mind you that much

unless you're from california

i've never even been west of chicago

I was just poking fun at our supposed passive-aggressiveness and general dislike of Californians. It's a nice place.

I almost had a threesome on my one visit to Seattle, so they are friendly.

!

jed_'s amazing queer clubnight was particularly amazing on Saturday and if y'all are ever in Glasgow when it is on you should go.

crucial

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wdVr4KWcS5o

i'm guessing Daveywavey wasn't wearing a shirt during those interviews.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/apr/22/gay-man-dislikes-anal-sex

fabulous comments

I'm not huge on it.

I am feeling fairly thirsty tho lately

the tune is space's current travels sound amazing. i'm totally jealous.

chewing over bruce labruce's 'notes on camp' update:

http://natbrut.com/notes-on-camp-labruce

hmmmm

The third Liberal Camp entry should just be "Obama."

oh boy, if most of you see the restored Portrait of Jason, the display names will fall like rain.

going to see that next week :D

moving sucks.

ugh we only have 2 months before we have to :\

unless we decide to stay here which is unlikely

Let's form a commune, guys.

i would happily form a commune in a semi-rural area, preferably near a large body of water

omg yes

only if you built a city so i could bike everywhere

a commune on Key Biscayne?

you'll be able to take your bike onto the ferry and into the city.

happy may day everybody

http://marciokenobi.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/62_grace_jones_view.jpg

<3

and yes to the commune idea obv

i want to live in a 3 bedroom, i might

that is what i am moving into on saturday. we are getting a third roommate who is v sweet

work

my new place is only 1 bedroom, but the bedroom is quite large -- can very easily fit a king size bed -- and it opens onto the living room via french doors.

is that an invitation

it was a brag, i guess

there are of course cosmetic issues with the new place, lots of patching & painting to be done, but it's pretty rad, all told

also it's on a popular running route near a local university so there's dudes to check out. most of the apartments in the neighborhood are student rentals, i think. the kid on the 3rd floor is cute enough, but he left a huge bag full of rancid sweat-soaked hockey pads right outside our kitchen door. that's was not ok.

if i ever lived anywhere with a balcony i would do this all the time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ5a2JH_BVE

EGOISTE

I did the thing where I went on a rly nice coffee date w/ this dude and then we left and there was a sense of like finality but I think it may have been both of us being too shy, but I wanna hang out w/ him again, but I've forgotten how these things work. What should I do? Like text him tomorrow and ask if he wants to hang out again?

i would happily form a commune in a semi-rural area, preferably near a large body of water

― ampersand cooper black (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, May 1, 2013 7:12 AM Bookmark

jeez, I'm trying to move closer to the city not farther

there's always spots open in my desert commune

jealously eyed a palm springs library job the other day.

So, as of about ten minutes ago, I'm a (funny) uncle again!

congrats, would you like to borrow my rubber nose?

Nah, I'm good. Been at this for four years already so I got all my funny uncle swag.

this weekend i went to the launch party for the new h3admast3r magazine, which party was kentucky derby themed for some reason. such an occasion calls for a hat, so i wore a fez and tied a wool sash around my waist under my linen jacket, so i looked something like a british expatriate in north africa. when asked, i just told people i brought the arabian horses.

anyway, my point: apparently, sometime in the past few years i have lost the ability to detect when someone is hitting on me. i mean, i don't know when someone's just being friendly, and when they want to be more than friends.

maybe years of monogamy have dulled my awareness? i was talking with this kid who i was only passingly acquainted with -- i had been in catechism class (!) with his ex boyfriend -- and we were chatting until a point when i mentioned my boyfriend, to which this guy responded (quite dramatically) with a "OF COURSE, JUST MY LUCK" comment and i'm like... sorry?

I'm frantically dealing with a sick mother-in-law, a laptop that broke and a job tomorrow, a houseful of books to move and an endless workload piling up. Happily I think it's a drink in NYC tonight at Julius with some gay allstars so I've got something to remind me it's "worth it"

sounds like a drama queen, elmo.

sorry for your frantics, fgti, and that i won't be able to go to bars for another 3 weeks.

oh man fgti I so wish I could do that tonight. Alas, I'm on a train to Rehoboth for the week to like work on a "putting my life back together/in order" plan

ugh. sorry i have abandoned you for the summer, o.

yr lunch recommendations are greatly appreciated, and i am swiftly falling for your city.

i mean. i am still returning ASAP to mine, but.

Today's pinup is French film actor Clément Métayer

http://images.movieplayer.it/2012/12/14/qualcosa-nell-aria-clement-metayer-in-una-scena-del-film-261174.jpg

Gays, what's the consensus on leather harnesses?

I just don't rly get why ppl wear them, I'm not sure what they actually do during sex, and when I see ppl wearing them in bars it makes me kind of embarrassed bcz it looks campy and costumey and people who wear them are most likely trying to say "I'm edgy!" and it's not, at *all*

I mean I totally see if you are wearing it w a playful attitude and you realize that it's silly and you are doing it w/ a bit of a wink, sure, but like ppl who actually parade around in bars in leather caps and harnesses and stuff who are earnest abt it and think that they are radiating toughness and ultramasculinity just confuse me

aren't they for strapping oneself/someone to a sling?

I sort of don't get leather in general but hey whatever floats yr boat

I've been seven weeks without skin on skin. I was checking out fathers at Mother's Day brunch.

7 weeks, stfu

bret easton ellis "in the reign of the gay magical elves" lol http://www.out.com/news-opinion/2013/05/13/bret-easton-ellis-gay-men-magical-elves

shout out 2 Eric H. today! Go Eric!

Eric is awesome, but why are we shouting out 2 him?

he was at the Minnesota legislature

professionally or advocatingly?

Sexily.

with sexy results!

i can't believe i just quoted the simpsons, which i loathe, i thought it was an ilx trope.

so my friend interviewed Bruce LaBruce about 21st-century camp!

Allen: RuPaul's Drag Race.

LaBruce: Good contemporary gay camp, especially the queen who did Edie Beale, although some of the queens on it are bad camp.

Allen: James Franco.

LaBruce: Oh, Goddess, she's going to kill me if I call her "camp," so I won't.

Allen: Bacon.

LaBruce: Francis? Good gay serious camp.

Allen: Gay weddings.

LaBruce: Bad conservative gay camp.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-allen/bruce-labruce-camp_b_3230251.html

Not marriage material anyway.

morbs this is AMAZING, thank you

also c/p'd from LaBruce's "Notes On Camp/Anti-Camp":

Classic Gay Camp:

Carmen Miranda
Mae West
Joan Crawford
Bette Davis
Whatever Happened To Baby Jane
Art Nouveau
Art Deco
The Catholic Church
George Kuchar
Franklyn Pangborn
Edward Everett Horton
Paul Lynde
Charles Nelson Reilly
The Boys in the Band
The Killing of Sister George
John Waters movies
Divine
Mario Montez
Holly Woodlawn
Candy Darling
Jackie Curtis
Liberace

Bad Gay Camp:

Will and Grace
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
Misogynist Drag Queens
Neil Patrick Harris
Contemporary Broadway Musicals
Certain Ken Russell Films (The Boy Friend)
Perez Hilton
Adam Lambert
Liberace
Beyonce
Lady Gaga

Good Straight Camp:

Woody Allen’s dramatic films (Interiors, September)
Certain Robert Altman films (That Cold Day in the Park, Images, 3 Women)
Certain John Cassavetes films (The Killing of a Chinese Bookie, Minnie and Moscowitz)

Bad Straight Camp:

Stanley Tucci in The Devil Wears Prada and The Hunger Games
Twilight
Black Swan
Il Divo
Star Wars
Adam Sandler movies
Che Guevera
Damien Hirst
Tim Burton movies (except Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and Ed Wood)
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Jeff Koons
Tropic Thunder
Benny Hill
Beyonce
Lady Gaga Baz Luhrmann

High Camp:

Oscar Wilde
Jean Cocteau

Low Camp:

Vaudeville
Burlesque
Bawdy humour
Moms Mabley
Sophie Tucker
Better Midler’s bathhouse routines

Ultra Camp:

Mae West performing "Love Will Keep Us Together" in Sextet
Elizabeth Taylor and Noel Coward in Boom!
Myra Breckenridge
Valley of the Dolls

Bad Ultra Camp:

Liza Minnelli performing "Put A Ring On It" in Sex and the City 2

Quasi-Camp

Jerry Lewis’ sixties movies (The Ladies Man, The Patsy, The Big Mouth)
Midnight Cowboy
Looking For Mr. Goodbar
Luna
Cruising

Subversive Camp:

Rock Hudson/Doris Day movies
Roddy McDowell’s Tam Lin
Brett Anderson of Suede
Pee Wee Herman

Reactionary Camp:

Tyler Perry
Eddie Murphy
Heavy Metal

Liberal Camp:

Dr. Ruth
Rev. Al Sharpton
Shepard Fairey’s Obama "Hope" poster

Conservative Camp:

Kirk Cameron
Sarah Palin
Newt Gingrich
Mitt Romney
Ann Coulter
Fox News
The Iron Lady

Intentional Camp:

The Shining
Casino Royale with Daniel Craig
Green Acres (TV Show)

Unintentional Camp:

Lost in Space (TV Show)
Eyes Wide Shut
J. Edgar
Valley of the Dolls
The Iron Lady

Good Intentional Straight Camp:

Russ Meyer movies
Carry On movies

planning to start a Moms Mabley thread soon

please do! I'm reading this right now and she figures prominently:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51KGK0wM98L._SS400_.jpg

Nitpicking the categories is a losing game, but ... I dunno here:

Intentional Camp:
The Shining

Unintentional Camp:
Eyes Wide Shut

no, he's wrong there. if only The Shining were camp.

thx Rev, I've been meaning to read that actually.

I'd never heard of it til you mentioned it, but I mean to read it now.

wait so is anything not camp per la bruce?

James Franco

i saw that, but idk, if you can categorize practically everything as one variety of camp or another then mmmaybe you've worn out its usefulness as a term

I don't see everything in there... Joe Biden, sporks, Game of Thrones, all left out.

Guantanamo = REALLY Bad Straight Camp

LaBruce: That's basically what I've argued the world has generally become nowadays: bad camp. From CNN to Fox News to the Hangover franchise to the endless reiterations of Star Wars to Julian Assange's haircut to Vladimir Putin's shirtless escapades to Michelle Obama's bangs, it's all bad camp now.

well, he's got a point -- everything in the public sphere is 'performance.' Some people actually usta get offended when you suggested that all of politics was showbiz.

oh i understand that, my concentration in college was on politics & theatre but i guess i had a far more earnest take on it

i saw that, but idk, if you can categorize practically everything as one variety of camp or another then mmmaybe you've worn out its usefulness as a term

That's the thesis of his argument tho, no? Everything has become camp and it's no longer a valid template for subversion.

Once Cassavetes becomes camp, anything can be.

but he still qualifies "good camp" and "bad camp," so there is definitely valuation going on, i'm just not sure what his values of "good" and "bad" are

there are a few possibilities, i guess: camp has become a mode of cultural production and everything is camp, OR camp is a lens of cultural participation through which labruce sees everything

AFAIC, the mere presence of a category for "good straight camp" invalidates the whole enterprise.

All or nothing imo.

Good Straight Intentional Camp, late '50s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWL_NFyO3BI

I once used the term "frat guy camp" in a review of a ZAZ film, and our ed. vetoed it.

Frat guy camp = Daniel Tosh

I see my ed's point.

FIU should've been renamed FGC.

zaz? is that a Mel Torme ref... oh nevermind, i get it

I didn't know guys who made one good movie got their own acronym.

ZAZ turned P.U.

my main edit memory is having the adjective "fucking" removed from in front of "Coldplay."

Hey, just watched Pink Narcissus, thought it was beautiful and tragic. Although my favourite thing about it was the heart-shaking score.

It isn't camp, though. Well, it is. But it isn't. It's beyond the line where camp turns to spiritual, like Coil or Proust or w/e (a case can even be made, in his own postmodern way, for Ryan Trecartin). Can you think of any more art like this?

Anyway, I'm majority straight so I'll scoot, but a big shout-out to Eric H, Table and all the others I've ILX-searched championing this beautiful movie.

i think there is def a diff btwn campy and camp

going camping this weekend.

Introducing the world to Bobby Kendall's ass, one straight-ish guy at a time.

If I may, uh, butt in once more, I'd say it dealt with its subject-matter significantly more successfully than Belle De Jour, and Bunuel's my favourite director. (BDJ is probably his worst movie that I've seen, but still)

hah, Belle du Jour is close to my fave.

I've seen Pink Narcissus a couple times, but Bobby Kendall's ass doesn't really stick with me.

BDJ not my fave either, but that moment when Deneuve looks they the peephole, pulls away, hisses "disgusting" (or something like that), and then goes in for another look is one of bunuel's most economical gags.

Bobby Kendall's ass doesn't really stick with me

u crazy

It's possible his lips got in the way.

Bret Easton Ellis says a few things.

Oh this oughta be good.

oh it is

I get the sense he doesn't respond to E.T.

I don't think ppl should make HIV jokes in public forums unless they're positive, but otherwise not much to argue with.

unless they're positive the jokes are funny

rim ... shot

One sticking point. There's no valorization of "the not-famous, slobby, somewhat lazy gay dude who is fine with being gay but just doesn’t care about being PC" in the public sphere because there's no valorization of the not-famous, slobby, somewhat lazy ANYONE.

"there's so many gay white men that i don't identify with"

I do. All the smart ones are mental.

I grudgingly admit most of that piece was very OTM. Only sticking point is when people use the phrase "self-loathing," they're sidestepping "everything-else-loathing."

I'm apparently obsessed with sticking points.

i'm apparently obsessed with sticky pants.

I'm apparently obsessed with stinky pits.

I'm definitely obsessed with stocky butts.

they're sidestepping "everything-else-loathing."

well it's p clear at this point that the human race is a doomed failure, including the gays (just not for the reason fundamentalists cite).

So you then admit "self-loathing" is not off the table.

I admit as little as possible!

I'm definitely obsessed with sticky buns.

i'm definitely obsessed with silly puns

http://i.imgur.com/0EZoS3H.jpg

this comparative survey of gay rights is surprising, the uk rated highest in europe even though several other countries codified marriage equality yrs ago, idk

no Folsom East fest in NYC this year btw (too many condos)

http://vanishingnewyork.blogspot.com/2013/04/folsom-street-east.html

so someone on the East Coast invite me to a naughty fest w/ collars this summer.

int'l mr. leather's coming up here. might try and make it.

We are not living in a post-gay world.

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/gunman-shoots-32-year-old-man-dead-greenwich-village-bias-attack-officials-article-1.1347776

yeah, that's fucking horrible. and it should anger us, but maybe not surprise us. I guess analogies between Af-Am civil rights and gay rights are always tenuous, but just as advances triggered backlash violence in that struggle, it's bound to be the same for queers. perhaps if enough awful things like this happen, then someday queers will see gun control as their issue too, not just something for scared parents to worry about?

it makes me think again about the four beefy, scary, super-drunk and angry straight boys who weren't let into Club Paradox last night- we came up for the vogue ball at 1:30 or so (a mistake, the ball didn't start until 4:30 am!) and they were being really menacing and pissed off about a block from the club entrance in a very desolate post-industrial, nobody-around zone of Baltimore- and they were pissed because they weren't let into a gay(ish) club, and kind of getting in everybody's face who was trying to go in- makes me wonder what it takes to flip some inner switch in people

maybe thinking about "safe space" isn't so dated after all?

You got it. This was in a "highly trafficked" Friday night spot where such a thing "isn't supposed to happen."

Maybe this will spur righteously angry activism among queers, long in virtual hibernation.

"righteously angry activism among queers" is my middle name.

that's goes w/out sayin, dear.

Of course most of the ACT UP vets have pretty much been forced to move out of Manhattan if they didn't have rent-controlled apts....

for NYC:

MARCH AND RALLY IN RESPONSE TO LGBT HATE CRIMES – Monday, May 20th at 5:30 p.m. beginning at the Center, 208 W 13th Street, and proceeding to West 8th Street and 6th Avenue.

(also, welcome back from your amazing travels, tuna dahling)

i guess everyone heard about the beatings that went on last night, too?

two (that we know of), right?

yeah

There was a gathering on Saturday night at the site of Carson's murder, w/out any fucking politicians apparently.

http://thematerialworld.tumblr.com/post/50826327327/photo-by-adam-feldman-last-night-adam-feldman

Protesters wanted politicians there?

There was a larger march organized by the LGBT Center (often idiotic, as Dan Fishback wrote) yesterday, and our aspiring Bloomberg-in-a-pantsuit mayoral candidate was there, I'm sure largely to the delight of the deluxe-apartment-dwelling HRC-donating crowd.

Someone should totally hate crime them.

wtf

That class was nowhere when fucking St Vincent's Hospital was closed, so that would be dangerous for them.

but you sure have me nailed, Eric

maybe if you'd read the blog I linked you'd know I'm not the only lefty faggot in NYC who loathes the motherfucking neolib Democratic drones who populate Manhattan almost exclusively now.

Maybe.

this shit is terrifying

i was walking with my bf in the EV last night and thinking that i was overreacting by being a bit wary of touching him but jesus fucking christ

i guess everyone heard about the beatings that went on last night, too?

― hilarious topless cookie chef (the table is the table), Tuesday, May 21, 2013 1:01 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

link?

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/05/21/police-2-charged-in-attack-against-gay-couple-in-soho/

fuuuck

have to admit that i am glad i carry mace and a switchblade with me everywhere i go.

carrying a switchblade seems like bogus posturing that's more likely to get you hurt imo, but to each their own i guess

stay gold or w/e

I wouldn't mind having a switchblade myself. Seems very West Side Story.

you just fucked with the wrong faggot, pal

*snaps open switchblade dildo*

My roughneck/redneck ex-boyfriend used to carry a switchblade. In his fanny pack. Once to the World Trade Center, where he didn't expect security to check bags. Shockingly, they did not find the switchblade or the 1/8 oz. of weed he was also carrying. What a tool.

for some reason i remembered the existence of https://twitter.com/Retwarted and it looks like what is being reposted right now is tweets of people who use the word "boy scouts" and "homoslur". i don't get exposed every day to that language, except for the occasional youtube comment, so... it is what it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2Q7EkFJgrI

I just had a date/makeout/etc w/ a precocious 20-year-old who works at The Gap who said that he likes "older guys". This is the first time in my life I have been referred to as "an older guy" and it is really fucking w/ my head!

Yep -- I've had to deal with it this semester. It also means: a conflict between later bedtimes and mine.

Does the word "precocious" even apply to people as old as 20? Like he's really smart and cool for a 20-year-old (we ordered pizza and talked about Whit Stillman and feminism and Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman) but he still comes off as a 20yo w/ interests beyond his years vs. someone who is significantly older than 20. I mean I have him in my phone as "Ben the Kid".

Also I think he prob wants to like pursue something datey but I rly do not think I want to date someone 5 yrs younger than me. I'd still totes be down for being his makeout buddy though.

ah, five years, such a chasm!

It's weird, like twice my age is nbd but 5 yrs younger and I'm like WHOA WHOA WHAT'S GOING ON

I Facebook'd earlier today about mowing the lawn-- hey gays, I have a lawn, and I hand-mowed it, my first urban mowing experience-- and a 20-year old called me an old man. I thought mowing lawns was for kids? In what world is 33 years old "old"? That kid is getting Rogaine for Christmas.

In other news, the separation-from-boyfriend has ended with his mother's passing, which was tough but we're coming back strong, summer is helping a tonne and a newly mowed lawn to sit out on

my condolences, ow3n.

happy to be out of the dating pool so many years, if only because if some 20something tried to endear himself to me by telling me he was into "older guys" would either make me cry or commit an act of violence (but seriously, probably the former)

ack, grammatical mess there. sorry guys.

talk of mowing lawns always reminds me of:

http://dwitkowski.blogspot.com/2010/04/mown-lawn-by-lydia-davis.html

jeez i forgot you were that young, O.

Donna, i was about to paste that story. <3

lol, O. You don't need to say 'a 20 year old' - you can identify him as 'Alex's boyfriend'. And he's /almost/ 21. Haha.

Dating someone five years younger hasn't been that much of a head trip except for the fact that his 40 year old mum occasionally gets my older music and culture references quicker. I had to show him Captain Planet and also Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? on YouTube because he didn't understand a joke or two I made.

(He's really lovely though and I'm sure he didn't mean to offend, O.)

As penance, I'll make him pay for brunch the next time we all get food. ;)

Also hi everyone. I have been settling into Toronto for the summer and such but I'm back/around

hi gays! i am covered in glitter. also i visited estelle getty's gravestone today. (not related)

So I guess I thought Behind the Candelabra was both incredibly icky-sticky about gay life and also one of the most moving, erm, portraits of a gay relationship I've seen in awhile? Or maybe it just had some great bitchy lines.

In what world is 33 years old "old"?

o, as someone who is closer to 33 than 20, i can assure you 33 is definitely "old". not in a bad way at all, very possibly in a better way than "young", but definitely "old"

Yes. Besides 33 >>> 20

yeah for sure - though there are some things you can (or should) only really do when you're young. as long as you've done them i guess 33 is superior in every way. don't waste your youth, basically

for example: I hooked up with an ex last night a few minutes after "Mad Men" ended.

something I would never do in a million years, nor would they*

*presuming 4 dates counts as "an ex," to get someone into the category

a couple of non-entities excepted, I'm still acquainted with'em all.

So this morning I went to Dyke March and handed out free water ice w/ the Radical Faeries and then tonight I went to a strict code-enforced leather party thrown by the Ph1lly MC and wound up dancing around in black high tops + black jockstrap + black leather gloves + nothing else; I feel like I have conquered the entire spectrum of queerness today.

awesome!

i actually had a guy offering to be my pup at Folsom St East this month, but then it got cancelled.

that is way cute! I have been meaning to make it out for that for 7 or so years but I still have never been.

well, it's probably gone forever! there are huge condos going up on the block, so...

The Eagle will probably be there for at least a few more months, so holla if you wanna go.

Happy to hear you're on the home stretch of recovery, Morbs!

My bf and I reunited and he loves the new neighbourhood and the new house and it's idyllic.

I missed the rejoinder about "is 33 old?" I don't need any reassurance abt age-stuff, I don't feel old, not even in a full-length mirror, and I was just joshing about your boy Alex, speaking of which I'm going home tonight and I'm going to text you in a moment for some afternoon tea.

My cousin Isa is a fabulous 34-year old who worked at a major record label for a while and more recently as a matchmaker for a website that caters to rich professionals. Like Lavalife but with case workers? Something like that. She had a relationship with a 23-year old boy for a while and she was So Into Him. As somebody who has dated outside my age bracket both ways I was super encouraging and supportive. But as a former 23-year old who dated outside my age bracket I also knew it wasn't going to last.

We were chatting about it a couple of weeks ago and she got really excited about the physicality of dating 23-year olds, complaining that people her age (my age) were impotent and suffered from erectile dysfunction. I was like "whut" and then it became clear that her definition of erectile dysfunction was "unable to fuck more than once a night" and that she wanted a man who could O and then climb right back on that horse after 20-minutes and a granola bar.

Plus, she added, "erect cocks get softer as men get older," and our younger cousin with us (22) was like "ew gross! I couldn't deal with that!" and I was about to start talking about how good it is, how much I enjoy being in a long-term relationship, because we're very sexually active, and it's been nice to see in another person the gentle touch of each passing year on our bodies (my butt is sagging, his stomach is growing). Things like "once a night syndrome" or 30-something soft-cock* in a long term relationship you get to ease yourself into this sort of thing gently and it makes the process easier. I was about to talk about this with her but then I got self-conscious and worried that it might be too "yay monogamy" when my point was that ageism is dumb in both directions.

* ??????????

I went to pre-Dyke Day brunch at a friend's place and then to DD itself, hung out all day til they shut everything down, then got vegan dinner with B and two of his friends, then went to a really weird karaoke bar where I sang "Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves" and "Rose Garden" and where I almost got into a thing with the bartender over how weak my drink was. And this morning I'm still picking at the coffee cake I made for the brunch.

Not going to Pride today but I'll likely be at SF Pride (in a not-terribly-celebratory capacity).

You people all live much more interesting lives than I do.

I skipped pride today to get coffee with a Bostonian pilot/organ restorer at a coffee shop a block from the parade/festival and then we wound up celebrating pride in his friend's apartment.

i spent all week running a fever and still going to work and all weekend doing nothing, literally, even though there were 300 awesome things i could have been doing. hoping i am over this week long thing by now because going to the doctor is a hassle but being sick bites.

a.k.a. i avoid personal doctor visits when srs family medical stuff is going down and this month has been full of lung tumours and brain surgery and so forth in family-land so i've been mostly just drinking water and sleeping and hoping it'll resolve itself.

can someone recommend good recent gay fiction?

SPREADEAGLE by K3vin k1llian.

hey y'all.

I will rep p hard for Mother of Sorrows by Richard McCann too though it's like 7 yrs old

I'm rereading Holleran's Dancer from the Dance atm and I think at this pt it's my favorite book of all time

It's been 15 years since I read it, although I tried his short stories a couple years ago

Will try MOS. Thanks! Keep'em coming.

Yes, please do.

I was thinking the other day of asking for a recommendation for a good gay gay crystal meth memoir (or coke, I guess) or collection of personal essays. Any recs?

In searching the web for that kind of thing, I found a blog post called "Gay fiction that doesn't suck" or something, but I don't remember where. I'll let you know if I find it again, Alfred.

i have "little men" by KK, maybe i'll read that next

nothing i've read lately has been particularly gay, except j.bowles i guess

tabes i'm gonna be up yr way in july, fyi

oh so last night i tried my hand at akbar's piano open mic and wow was it nerve-wracking. it's a bit more intense than karaoke since you're being accompanied by a live piano and an audience is (mostly) quietly watching you and there's a certain, um, threshold of quality you have to surpass i think? but i'm glad i did it because i really like singing even tho i'm not trained or anything. (i sang 'superstar' btw)

ok that sounds fun, would croon

baby baby baby baby oh baby

I would hafta try a novelty number, like maybe one by Rowlf the Muppet Dog

c'mon morbs, i know you have a little rogers & hammerstein in ya

the list band of thebes does every year is probs the best source i know of for contemporary queer lit recommendations: http://bandofthebes.typepad.com/bandofthebes/2012/11/the-best-lgbt-books-of-2012.html
there's a lot to sift through and def a lot of junk on that list tho (also lol n.b., i just realized i haven't read anything on the 2012 list. i do own a copy of one of the abdellah taïa books on there)

well, here's...something

http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/06/rise-of-the-daddies-a-new-and-sexy-gay-niche.html

thats...

uh

...something

like I want to say so many things abt that but don't know where to start?

Rise of the Daddies will be the best Transformers movie.

I think someone linked the Thebes list last December, but I hain't used it yet.

i know you have a little rogers & hammerstein in ya

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN14uJdoFDg

-the idea of "daddy" equating to "reinforcing empty and stupid signifiers of masculine performativity" is idiotic
-the idea of "daddy" equating to "reinforcing empty and stupid signifiers of masculine performativity" is idiotic
-young guys fucking old guys is uh not new; intergenerational partnerships are like the oldest thing ever dude
-does this article mean to imply that everyone over a certain age or w/ a certain look is automatically a "daddy" bcz I don't want to bring in this tbh kinda weird incestuous terminology into my friendships/relationships w older men esp since it draws attention to, reinforces, and fetishizes said age difference when I'm approaching these dynamics as more peer-like than young/old

the idea of having sex with your daddy is idiotic

when ppl I am doing whatever with (having drinks, hanging out, chatting, fucking) refer to themselves as "daddy" in regard to our dynamic I'm just like "what the fuck, do you even listen to anything I am saying bcz anyone with a brain stem would p quickly realize that I am not fetishizing you bcz of your age but rather talking to you like someone on my level and quite frankly it's incredibly dismissive of you to be pulling this shit"

like it feels like they're basically saying "okay yeah whatever just get done talking so I can place you into this role that I really want you to fill"

xp alfo otm; I already have a dad and I don't have sex with him and I don't want to pretend that the person I'm having sex with is my dad, esp my daddy is language I have not used since I was 6. I'm not 6.

Like everything about the word and what it means and where it comes from feels like something that I cannot and do not relate to and it's disheartening when ppl are like "young guy and old guy means boy and daddy" UGH FUCK

then again I tend to severely overanalyze and overthink these sorts of things and then just assume that allllll of these implications that I am inferring are applicable to every situation, regardless of how ppl approach this specific type of language and what sort of place it comes from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CJEoyEArno

though wait no fuck that you cannot tell me that "daddy" is not meant to reduce and fetishize generational difference

I don't want to bring in this tbh kinda weird incestuous terminology into my friendships/relationships w older men esp since it draws attention to, reinforces, and fetishizes said age difference when I'm approaching these dynamics as more peer-like than young/old

otmfm

my bf is ten years older than me and we occasionally make jokes about the age diff ourselves but i'd be pretty insulted if anyone ever referred to our relationship in those terms

Many of our most famous gays right now — Andy Cohen, Anderson Cooper, Alan Cumming, Tom Ford, and so on — are all also daddies.

hahaha no fucking way, dude

okay so I just had a few convos w/ ppl to try to get diff perspectives and from the two older guys I've asked abt this, I have gotten at some point in the conversation both "Don’t overthink it. It’s becoming just a thoughtless phrase, like woof." and "Don't think about it too much" which like okay am I just being a disphit here? do I overthink these things?

is it reactionary to dismiss their comments as dismissive or should I actually listen to what they're saying and step back? am I a pretentious and overintellectual shit?

Alan Cumming does not fit the broadest possible definition of daddy.

But I don't think everyone who uses the term is having an incest fantasy, or even most of them.

what about the famed Richard Pryor bit about vagina noises during sex -- "It's talkin' to you, daddy!"

like, Jennifer Lawrence is more of a daddy than Alan Cumming

btw i have seen the author of that piece at a z3xclub, some years ago

i dunno, i don't think there's anything terribly sinister about it, even if it does have overtones of incest. i think part of the prevalence of 'daddy' and intergenerational fetishism tends to suggest to me that a lot of closeted young guys' formative sexual experiences are with men who are older, sometimes much older than themselves.

am I a pretentious and overintellectual shit?

As I prove, one can think too much and still not be an intellectual. ;)

while we think hard about summer thread titles, an obvious question: Should I ever visit P-Town? Can it be done on the cheap?

I have a title hold on

stevie fwiw i wholeheartedly agree with you re: 'daddy.' it's lazy and stupid.

I was gonna start "We eat WANGS and throw them BONERS on the ground" but I reconsidered

xp sex is lazy and stupid

when you're doing it right

xp alfo otm; I already have a dad and I don't have sex with him and I don't want to pretend that the person I'm having sex with is my dad, esp my daddy is language I have not used since I was 6. I'm not 6.

― shohreh aja/danteloo (Stevie D(eux)), Friday, June 14, 2013 10:48 AM Bookmark

worrrrrd

hey, come to NYC in July and let's share Dirty Looks

http://onlocation.dirtylooksnyc.org/

fuuuuuck i wish

arch brown's 'pier groups' is an interesting gay porn relic - it was partially filmed in pier 52, where gordon matta-clark installed 'day's end', and you can see it in some of the shots

soooo coooool

haha they're showing Taylor Meade's Ass in moma's sculpture garden!

Isn't it starting to stink by now?

there's a freezer in the cafe.

also it's less than 36 hrs til the solstice; one of u bitchez pick a thread title.