What do (or did) you call your exclusive (or primary) romantic partner?

"er indoors"?

is that some weird British thing

idk something like that

we have settled on partner, because boyfriend/girlfriend seems weird to us at this point. I also like it for feminist and queer-friendliness reasons.

also god I hate the word "partner", everyone please stop using "partner". "lover" is super gross too and reserved for faggots in the (or their) seventies and eighties.

oh oops that was an xp where I didn't read yr post and just clicked "submit post" anyway and now i feel like a dick, you can call yrself whatever you like

haha no fear, it's not unreasonable to find "partner" weird and gross I just don't have an option I like better!

looool @ er indoors

"lover" really is vile

"I'm Chad and this is my lover Bruce and -- oh, that rattan is just lovely"

Wife, but obv that got easier when we got married, so not recommend for hookup stuations

Yeah "lover" is just a one way ticket to visualizing the people in front I you fucking, which is sadly usually not hot

"the wife"

the old lady

girlfriend

'lover' is the worst

'mistress/master' was a missed opportunity

ilx ca. 2004 woulda had 'my bitch' joke option

better half/responsible half/superego

husband

xxp - almost said 'best bitch'

Usually either gf or partner but deeply dissatisfied with both. "Superego" is a great one, though, Sterling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCcMuVqg1FY

'my ex' tbh

"roommate"

boyfriend (even though he's pushing 40)

"the mods"

Sugartits

Daddy

she who must be obeyed

^liar

lol

I call her "my wife_______". The first time I bring her up to a new person, then by her name after that. Only making this distinction here because I had a coworker who referred to his partner of 12 years only as "my girlfriend" and it drove me up the fucking wall.

I don't have a problem with people referring to their boyfriend/girlfriend in general though. Some folks g think that's immature or something, but it beats any of the alternatives.

"my girlfriend in general"

my partner... in crime

main squeeze

Only making this distinction here because I had a coworker who referred to his partner of 12 years only as "my girlfriend" and it drove me up the fucking wall.

eh at what stage did they stop being boyfrind/girlfriend, according to yourself

She didn't! Byrne would never refer to her by name.

But not Byrne

Margot-Phrejnd

ah i see. i just introduce herself as 'herself', that way ppl can sort us according to their own ideal imo

Sergeant At-Arms

I am going to start calling her my husband/wife and see how long it takes for her to hit me

make sure you have an accurate stopwatch at the ready, pref something that measures in milliseconds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfUZomG97pI

lol jjj I was thinking about that kind of joke, good job.

i should clarify that i do basically the same thing as hows life wrt the "my wife" + name, except for when i am talking to customers at the store where i would rather they didnt know her name in case they start tracking her down and boring her to death as well.

Have a colleague who refers to his wife as "missus [his forename]" which strikes me as unspeakably evil. She didn't take his surname.

"Mrs. Adolf"

Sometimes that's a web thing where men and women refer to their romantic/domestic partners as Mr Screenname, or their offspring as Baby Screename or w/e. I don't mind it in that case but a man irl referring to his wife as Mrs Firstname is obnoxious.

That's horrible!

Mrs. Doug...jesus.

maybe I'll start calling her "scion of <father's name>", that would probably get me killed faster

Boyfriend or partner, relatively interchangeably. On the internet I will sometimes use "the mister" instead of "my boyfriend" because I get a bit weirded out by using the possessive all of the time.

just remembered to be thankful for the slippage of borat in the cultural landscape, people saying "my wife" in that accent was maybe one step below bars full of assholes saying "WHASSUP!" to each other in awfulness

ugghhh

cohabitant

^had a former coworker who referred to her ltr thusly. she made us add a table entry for "cohabitant" in our database so we could document her relationship.

Because the pre-existing Spouse, Domestic Partner, or Companion apparently wouldn't do.

Or Friend. Plus, none of the other staff members who have records in our database list their personal relationships.

reminds me of this http://qntm.org/gay xp

dude

This is my Human Mating Partner

the state

bone buddy

I have actually tried to make more of a habit of just saying her first name to anyone who already knows I am married. I feel like this the most respectful, least loaded description.

but otherwise "wife" -- we got married, and that's the official status, so I'm not going to say "partner"

the gal.

It does not occur to me to say "wife" unless I am introducing ourselves to someone or if I am thinking someone is hitting on me

my "wifi" - because, you see, i spend all my time online, and - oh nevermind

only ever refer to them by their name, leaving people to infer our relationship through context clues

similarly, wireless router ...yeah no

we have gone through weeks-long rehearsal processes with people in shows/singing groups who did not realize we were married until way way way after the fact

"lover" only acceptable for ppl over 67, uttered in a voice ravaged by cigarettes

also y'all probably would believe the terrible jokes I am restraining myself from making but man, are they terrible

only ever refer to them by their name, leaving people to infer our relationship through context clues

this is my favorite

― ciderpress, Thursday, April 11, 2013 12:02 PM (16 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

mine too; i'm so often unsure of the status of my own relationship that that's the only safe choice for me

"boss lady"

"Lover", when said by a woman, is absolutely the best
Especially if the woman speaks French as a first language
I say "my dependent"

'my bonerlord'

Hahahahhaha

"Lover", when said by a woman, is absolutely the best
Especially if the woman speaks French as a first language

Yeah, see, you're romanticising "women" as "elegant sophisticates". Most of us aren't, and it really really doesn't work.

"Lover", when said by a woman, is absolutely the best

I'm going to husk up my voice and call you "lover" for the rest of our lives together. it's going to be awesome

Of course, there's also the West Country "awright me luvver".

"Hello, lover."

'The girl that I have talked about for about a year that finally decided to give me a chance don't ruin it guys please'

"lady friend"

"special lady friend"

Me old cheese and kisses

The old trouble and strife

when i'm talking to people i don't know, i always just say "my girlfriend". it feels wrong, childish and stupid, but at least i know that it'll be understood and won't unduly ruffle the surface of the conversation. we're not married or engaged, "partner" and "significant other" sound terribly contrived, and words like "lover" have to be delivered through an imaginary mustache.

mah lovurrrr

hi contendz btw

I am generally unwilling to advertise romantic status stuff but if necessary I am prepared to say I am in a "pretty squeezy situation". my most ridiculous solution to the name thing was saying partner with a forced hesitation beforehand to take the edge off its slight preciousness. me and my, uhh ... partner were there, and-.

I think the name thing goes okay. I don't like anybody knowing anything. deep down more and more I think boyfriend/girlfriend are kinda useful because through mass usage, if not as signifiers, they are about as neutral aesthetically as you can get

devastated ' life partner' is not on the sheet though. think there could be a sub-poll for diplomatic, mainly euphemistic later-in-life-romance terms chosen to take the edge off introducing partners to children. companion, friend, &c.

my preferred term there is "woman my grandfather lives with"

jesus does he know you're seeing her too

My brother usually refers to my sister-in-law as "my wife" when he's talking to me ... it sounds kind of creepy and proprietary. Or maybe he's not sure I'll remember her name, they've only been married for 10 years.

Did he say the name at the wedding, he could be trapped in a sitcom nightmare.

I'm almost certain he does know her name, though that would explain a lot.

Yeah, see, you're romanticising "women" as "elegant sophisticates". Most of us aren't, and it really really doesn't work.

Not really, I'm talking about mes petites soeurs who talk about their lovers and I am in admiration of their ownership of that word

do we know how bonerlord sounds in French, yes or no. surely it is the ultimate test of an elegant language.

remembered I also settled on 'my squeeze' as a context-dependent but occasionally agreeable answer to this question as well. & I remember my friend talking about her other half, which is pretty standard & divorced from any sort of noticeable aesthetic effect from popular use but which is actually almost jarringly romantic & sweet when you consider it.

hi darragh (et al)

et al is a good one

plus one

may switch to plus one tbh

my mom calls my boyfriend my "partner" when introducing to friends and family, which I guess is slightly preferable to bonerlord

aero i'm telling on u

does "bonerlord" mean "lord of my boner" or "lord of a great boner"?

would my wife be my bonerlord or would I be hers? if that latter, what would that make her? my clamqueen?

OMG clamqueen.

She is your bonerlord, and you aren't eligible for a title :(

lolllll "lord of a great boner"

aw

I was hoping to a least be a pussyprince

bonecoming clamqueen.

michael flately wants the rights

lol flately

I am the lord of the bone, said he.

I remember my friend talking about her other half, which is pretty standard & divorced from any sort of noticeable aesthetic effect from popular use but which is actually almost jarringly romantic & sweet when you consider it.

"other half" doesn't work for me - as like i have a codependency issue and just need someone else to feel complete

You may be eligible for the title of pussyprince, and although this title and its "benefits" exist outside the realm of your marriage, you may only be dubbed as such with the express approval of your bonerlord

this is going to make introducing ourselves to new people DELIGHTFUL

i'll keep the guestroom in my house ready for you

carve the door with their titles

What a droll little thread

Usually a King or Queen is qualified with an adjective in their address; Your Majesty or Your Royal Highness. For the Bonerlord and the Clamqueen, how would one best qualify their station so as to please?

carve the door with their titles

I misread this at first

Not only a bonerlord...

Lol dan

Sometimes I just refer to her as 'wife', no the or my.

Mr Firstname colleague did used to be a Tory press officer.

I would always call my (recently ex) gf by her name, and when introducing her to people called her my "friend." I get creeped out when people refer to their partner as "my wife" or "my girlfriend" rather than saying their actual names, because it seems possessive and sort of objectifying to refer to them only in terms of their specific connection to you, a sort of subtle denial of their autonomy. weirdly, when people talk about their mom or dad as "my mom" or "my dad" i don't feel the same way.

i should add that i think the "my gf/wife/bf/husband" construction is creepy only when i actually know the person they are referring to. so like, if i have met someone's wife, and then they still talk about their wife as "my wife" rather than "sandra" or something, it feels strange to me, even though i don't think there is any sinister intent behind it.

Oh yeah, if someone knows my boyfriend, I would always refer to him by name. Any other way seems very strange indeed.

i am always just like "this is janice" but i creep it up again by reaching over to clasp them inappropriately. keep eye contact with the person you're introducing them to straight through.

i am always just like "is this janice?" but i creep it up again by reaching over to clasp them inappropriately. keep eye contact with the person they're with straight through.

hey we met at the christmas office party right

loool clamqueen

Whenever I tag along for any of my gf's work-related stuff (she gives a lot of lectures) I like to be introduced as her "driver." She prefers "associate."

I had a whole thing with someone I dated about introducing him as "my date" to people. He said he would have used "friend" but then he was cold and possibly incapable of intimacy and I prefer to be direct about things. Also I don't make out with my friends.

I haven't even made out with my dates for a long time....

today's partner is yesterday's lover and a date from a long time ago -- it's all the same and subject to fashion. certain roles never change though, like bonerlord or queen of my cold dead heart.

additionally, today in class a student explained her perception of the difference between a sperm donor (no relationship with the child whatsoever) and a baby daddy (frequent involvement with the child but no permanent relationship with the child's mother).

doesn't the answer to this question depend on the stage of the relationship? i mean someone who is married is not going to call her husband her fiancee or her boyfriend

i knew a guy who was 81 and referred to his girlfriend as his girlfriend. i thought it was cute tbh

Not cronefriend?!

Depedant on the person, and/or person I'm talking to about it: my guy/my bloke/boyfriend/partner. Lover is icky. Bf seems daft in my 40s but what I gonna do.

tried out sugartits tonight, just btwn ourselves

how'd it go?

when it all calms down i'll give a final report

spousal unit.

xp lol

realized that my real answer here is "only ever refer to them by name", at least when i'm introducing her. everything else sounds stupid, and i like to assume that people can figure shit out. it gives them something to do, and i am a fundamentally generous person.

"fuckpiece"

Used to call N "hoosband" and he called me "wiiife" a la hermes and la barbara from Futurama.

mr veg and i sometimes refer to each other as 'hubsband' and 'wipe'
but not socially lol

my ex and i used to call each other "bro" and now that we are broken up that is still what we call each other

Jeff calls me "bro" a lot more than you might figure.

Before we were married, I referred to me mostly as my significant other. Seemed like the best of an awkward lot.

Haaa what? Referred to JEFF as my significant other. Talk about awkward.

I think u may be overlooking your married privilege--who will speak for the singles??

I'd like to introduce myself and my significant other, VG

brilliant

I'd like to introduce my significant other, this buttplug

and my better half, this carton of half and half

new poll, do your pet names survive your relationships, there can be something quietly & closely nostalgic about using them after a breakup

It was a mistake to use "particular favorite", even once. Though "current husband" was distinctly worse.

"lover" reminds me of that Christopher Walken/Rachel Dratch/Will Ferrell sketch.

oh and the answer is "by name" leaving people to the context clues

i don't even call her by name. a proper name is just another label man.

new poll, do your pet names survive your relationships, there can be something quietly & closely nostalgic about using them after a breakup

Just saw on FB a friend's ex calling her by a pet name on a status update which tagged in her current boyfriend. It creeped me out.

ouw.

Was she tempted to send back "I'm not that character anymore", like Penelope Keith in "to the manor born"?

new poll, do your pet names survive your relationships, there can be something quietly & closely nostalgic about using them after a breakup

Actually heh yeah N and I still call each other "bun", its a holdover that stuck fast, I try never to say it around new dates or anything tho cos way to cockblock myself :/

(for those not possibly playing along at home, N is my ex from many many years ago, but we share a house atm)

Haha I hope so! xxp

Ugh. I had the opportunity to zing an ex on fb this morning, but realized that said zing would reveal that I had close knowledge of her late night personal routines. I didn't want to create any awkwardness in her current relationship, do I refrained. I mean, in general, I'll be friends with my exes on fb, but I never comment about the old days.

So I refrained

Would ye stop with the exes ffs

^^

'er outdoors

new poll, do your pet names survive your relationships, there can be something quietly & closely nostalgic about using them after a breakup

Survive for a while, but when you move on there can be something kind of creepy about the remnants of intimacy entering into conversation. Also I think once friendship has re-stabilised they fall off naturally, unless they're the sort of nickname you'd use for a friend anyway.

"special lady friend"

― how's life, Thursday, April 11, 2013 4:38 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

very special lady friend

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

no comely wench option, eh? Conan and his comely wench are not pleased ...

http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs30/f/2008/104/b/6/Conan_and_comely_wench_by_nernie.jpg

It's situational. When speaking of my wife to those who do not know her, such as here on ilx, I call her my wife. When speaking to anyone who knows her, I call her by her first name. When speaking to her directly, I alternate between her first name and a variety of endearments, although mostly I stick to her first name.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

I enjoy the strong showing for context clues.