i just got a job working overnight at a hotel front desk

im sitting here staring at a painting of a lynx crawling past snowcovered knocked down trees out into a clearing. all of the other art in the lobby and front hallways seems to be a print of the same painting, a fuzzy oil painting of a whitecrested creek with trees with red leaves in the foreground. they're numbered prints, all of the same painting, which is called, "the red maple."

this is like that thread about being on a bus while posting but with more limited appeal

do you get a lot of people coming in? or is it dead?

it's pretty busy! it's in a touristy spot sort of in between tourist seasons but still pretty busy.

a half hour ago, i got a phone call

me: HELLO! FRONT DESK!
girl: hey... i've got a question... it's more of an opinion question but i want to know, we're playing sociables, does 'cup' rhyme with 'europe?'
me: i don't think it does, no.
girl: do you want to come up and do a shot with us?
me: i don't know if that's a good idea.
girl: can we come down and do a shot with you?
me: i suppose you can.

i think she was a very battered 25 or so, haunted eyes, but could have been younger and her friend poured me a shot of absolut from a mickey she had in her purse. they're in town doing a satisfaction survey for the local tourism board and they've got a great setup here, they said. somehow, i ended up giving her my number, but only, i think, in my role as customer service specialist dylan and not as a private citizen.

daaaaaaaang

also, i guess technically they don't rhyme, but the way i pronounce europe, it sorta does rhyme. good enough for drunken hotel rhyming imo

This is much better than I was expecting clicking on this link, was bracing myself for "abusive businessman angry that his room faces the east" or something similar.

i just had a long conversation with a guy that does factory and industrial um... deconstructions? i forget the word he used. disassemblies? he takes down entire industrial systems and reassembles them somewhere else. fiftysomething, early fifties, heavy beard, he said, "does your boss let you dip at work?" when he saw i had a dip in. we discussed that for a while. he just came back from mongolia. the whores in mongolia, you wouldn't believe it! he once called one of his girlfriends up and she said, i'll call you back later, I'M IN CLASS. he's on his way to rainbow lake, alberta.

there was just a walk-in. i always give a discounted rate--i find a random corporate rate, or in the case bereavement rate. but they always ask for a better rate. this guy asked for a truckers rate. my new strategy will be to name an outrageous amount off the bat, then let them slowly bargain me down.

a random corporate rate

wait just a 'corporate' nett rate or an actual negotiated corporate rate

sad lols @ bereavement rate

man, i don't know! i think an actual negotiated corporate rate. there are a list of discounts to choose from, mostly oil and gas companies. halliburton was on there. some of them have billing information attached and a list of people approved to use their direct billing information, but most don't.

the kitchen closes in an hour. i just called over and i've got a bison burger and fries on the way.

just an fyi: if one of those negotiated rates gets used like that too often it might get picked up at rate negotiation time and there'll be ~trouble~

alright! i'll play hardball or stick with the bereavement rate.

those girls came back, earlier than expected. the haunted greasy haired girl was out of her mind and went up to her room.
i stood outside with the other girl, pudgy native girl with a nose ring ghost white makeup, and smoked several accord reds with her. we listened to that boom boom boom song from the joe fresh commercial on her phone, then tyler the creator yonkers.
she went up to her room and she called me two minutes later to say, do you want to have another cigarette? i'll be right down.
will update soon.

now it's dead quiet and i've made progress in my translation project, sent a few emails, drank 1 and a half liters of diet coke.
nothing happens now unless there are early checkouts.
the early morning is mine.

I like this thread

I know? It's half making me want to get a hotel receptionist's job

Ace thread!

lol the girl

hopefully there is going to be some throwing-guests-out stuff to come on this thread, continuing the august ilx tradition of excellence

Where is this hotel?

pinefox you pop up at the strangest times

i don't know if i can get into another homophobe hotel special

Best thread.

love hotels

like, with heart-shaped jacuzzis and pink sheets?

pinefox: alberta-british columbia border area near wellknown national park.

yes xp

when my parents used to take me to hotels i would roam the lobbies, marble fountains

he said, "does your boss let you dip at work?" when he saw i had a dip in

What does this mean? Like, salsa dip?

dip is the new thing

I feel like this thread could only be improved if dylan has to eject an abusive hotel guest and it turns out to be HOOS

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dipping_tobacco

Oh, dip = snus! I see.

what's that song that's like i dip you dip we dip

is that a commercial

i mean, snus and dip, they're different. don't worry about it, though.

that song is "da dip" by freak nasty.

ohh

you really are front desk

i have managed to overbook the house-- i'm not sure how it happened but i feel like it wasn't my fault.

every guest that walks through into the lobby, i feel a spike of dread in my constant low level buzz of apprehension.

but i only need one no show to make it through.

villian

i'm not sure how i'll play it if every guest arrives. i'm thinking i'll just, "oh dear, we don't seem to have that reservation on file," and put on an expression of severe exasperation that will cause them to be sympathetic to my situation.

this is the night you learn what it means to work the front desk. this is the night you make that leap from ingenuous clerk to family murderer.

they'll have crying toddlers

blame the fuckups at corporate

i'm not sure how i'll play it if every guest arrives.

Can you go watch some Fawlty Towers real quick?

if two singles come in better figure out how to play matchmaker quick

exactly, i've got rooms with two beds, and even two rooms, and one person staying in them! "listen, i've got this guy down at the front desk, he really needs a room.... i was thinking... if you don't mind-- he's checking out really early. and don't worry, he's going to cover half of the cost of the room. great guy, too."

i'm also going to claim it's my first day.

well it sounds like no matter what you do it's gonna end in murder, better get your alibis straight

who would i be murdering? are you saying i should clear out a room by brutally slaughtering the occupants?

Just don't rule anything out. That's all we're saying.

i'm feeling confident. past midnight, five arrivals are still missing.

HOOS TO THREAD

either you murder someone or you set two people up together who then murder each other or everyone murders everyone it's a big murder party, sorry i wasn't clear

i made it through.

i just put on my sweater and walked around the hotel once. hazy pink mountain sunrise. i just ordered a plate of waffles, bacon, and yogurt with saskatoon berries. a german tour group is mounting their bus in the parking park. they're all dressed in grey and blue arcteryx and northface jackets and plastic pants.

thanks for the support.

Should read this:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517s5A%2BsVRL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg

Basically boils down to: person at the front desk wields all the power.

between may and september, the hotel is mostly booked. a few weeknights are still free. we have a few suites set aside on scattered weekends. there are cancellations and no shows. but you can't really get a room just by walking in the door.

tonight, a man with one arm came into the hotel to ask for a room. i said, "we don't have any suites available for tonight."
he asked, "do you need a credit card to book a room?"
"yes, you do need a credit card to book a room."
"okay. you need a credit card?"
"but, unfortunately, we don't have any rooms available tonight."
he asked me, with real bitterness, "is it because of the way i look?"

This thread has strong potential to be a black and white Jim Jarmusch short featuring John Lurie and filmed in 1983. Which would be odd, because someone would alert dylannn to its existence via social media, and he would (after much postponement, because who needs a busman's holiday?) watch it with a growing sense of deja vu.

I lived that very scene, man! The one-armed man [in movie, inevitable Tom Waits cameo] really did croak: "Is it because of the way I look?"

You are the overnight desk clerk, Dylannn--you've always been the overnight desk clerk.

(Looking forward to checking in on this thread in about a month.)

a few hours ago, a guy with a cowboy hat came in, looked a lot like don imus, and asked me questions about my life and he also told me: "i've got a son named dylan," bob dylan's birthday was on may 24th, and bob dylan is 72 years old. he told me that he divorced his wife on bob dylan's birthday. his wife was a canadian public radio personality whose name i recognized. he asked me if i was a musician. he gave me a cd, broke out the back sheet from it and signed it with a sharpie, THANKS FOR LISTENING. i'm listening to it right now and there's a song on the cd called "a lonely place called divorce" and there's a line on it about divorcing his wife on bob dylan's birthday. there's another song warning women to treat him well or they'll end up as a line in his suicide letter.

i was impressed with his commitment to his personal vision of his own character. but it made almost too neat an anecdote to share, black and white jim jarmusch short neat. maybe the one armed man story should have been filed in the same category.

what's happening in a month?

http://www.awardscircuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/jack_torrance_jack_nicholson_the_shining_warnerbros_16anof7-16anoga1.jpg

(Just kidding--good luck.)

No bellhop sidekick?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNNKOXJ2PqI

the boredom, killing six or seven hours of deadtime a night
is grinding me down.

a guy came to the desk a few minutes ago, he said, "you want to do a good gag with me?"
"sure, okay... what are we doing?"
"you come up to our room in about fifteen minutes, tell us we're too loud--"
"okay."
"--and i'll freak out on you and you tell us that we're all outta there."

this doesn't sound like a good idea. i don't trust his improv skills.

okay. he just came by the desk and said, "don't worry about it. they went to sleep."
"alright!"
"it was a good idea, though." thumbs up.
"have a good night!"

dylann that is my favorite story in forever you are the king

It sounds like something out of an episode of My Name is Earl!

which step is the "hey wanna do a good gag with me" step

is dylan Tao Lin?

i don't have the heart to rewrite it in the style of people writing in tao lin style on the internet.

but that will be the only thing that happens tonight. last night or the night before, i only slept a few hours during the day and came into work and, when everyone was gone, made a bed of towels on the floor in the back room and fell asleep until quarter to four. the night before that, i set myself up in an empty room and sat at the desk and wrote on the hotel stationary and drank a can of kokanee. i took a shower in another room, an early checkout. three women came in around two in the morning and i gave them a free room for no reason and they checked into their room and one of them came back and put two twenty dollar bills on the counter (american currency). there's a girl that works in the laundry room until midnight and she's started stopping in to chat before she goes home and i don't want to discourage her because i enjoy the ten or fifteen minutes she's here--in order to drive conversation with her, i checked her out on facebook but she seems to be really interested in soccer, and i found an introduction to sudanese arabic on youtube and i practiced the phrases with her, and we talk about cities in the united states that would be good to live in and food--but i simultaneously resent it because it subtracts time by myself from the night. with nobody coming by, no slow darkening of the day, the natural rhythms of life are absent and every hour feels like an hour but it still goes by too fast.

But Scheer and other experts believe a significant part of the problem with shift work is physiological. On a fundamental level, being awake at odd or irregular hours fights with our biological rhythms. Shift work disrupts the circadian rhythm -- our internal body clock that is keyed to natural daylight and darkness.

Because circadian rhythm affects how the body functions, disrupting it can throw everything out of whack -- including our cardiovascular system, metabolism, digestion, immune system, and hormonal balance. That appears to have serious consequences.

The short-term health effects of shift work are clear. ... Aside from the obvious fatigue, effects include:

Gastrointestinal symptoms like upset stomach, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, and heartburn
Increased risk of injuries and accidents
Insomnia
Decreased quality of life
General feeling of being unwell

http://25.media.tumblr.com/4fa46499a219ee621ad687eb3b0544bc/tumblr_moqh1ysvg71qzb8z0o1_500.png

I worked a summer on the noc shift back when, in a hospital. it does mess with you for sure. though I've known noc shift lifers, too. I couldn't be one but when I thought of my time on the noc shift as a waystation then I could get into it, like it was a quest or something.

Strange that brodie didn't show up for this thread.

I noc shifted for over a year full time at a truck stop. I remember once my cousin's husband sent me a copy of 2666 for Christmas, and I ended up reading it during my down time at work and got through it in a week.

i tried just dividing each 24 hour period into 8 hours of work, 8 hours of non-work waking time, and 8 hours of sleep, but the system is destroyed by my inability to mark out 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and the necessary slowdown and wakeup periods at the beginning and end of the sleep cycle. with a day off, i ended up sleeping from 2 pm until 7 am the next morning, 17 hours of hard, hard sleep. like, this morning, i was up at 6 am again, after a solid ten hours of sleep the night before, and i slept from 10 am to 11 am or so, and now i'll be awake until at least 9 am, which means i'm looking at 22-23 hours awake. i'll be able to correct slightly by sleeping, hopefully, 9am-3pm and then maybe 7pm-10pm-- that's 9 hours budgeted for sleep but time has to be allowed for falling asleep and if i aim to wake up at 9 pm, i'll set my alarm for 8:40, and then it's cut back to 7-7.5 hours of sleep. but that's enough sleep.

working late, i only have the vaguest sense of the rest of the staff, especially the heavyweights of guest services that control the lobby during the day, the staff of eight or nine that are here behind the desk and behind other desks during daylight hours. when i come in at 11, sometimes it's a guy named daniel, who is from toronto, went to school in vancouver and actually did some sort of degree in working at hotels. things that drive our conversation: gossip about other staff members, 'ryan gosling or channing tatum'-style pick only one games. but this information is out of date because he got fired for stealing money. now, it's this girl named nicole or a girl named rebecca. rebecca is a coolly religious girl from some fucked up town in northern ontario. the first time i met her, i asked her, "a lot of gas huffing going on up there?"-- that's not a funny thing to say but in my memory of the conversation, i asked it sincerely and quickly realized it wasn't a good first conversation question. i followed that question up with, "how's the moose hunting up there?" she's a singer. after the conversation where i asked her about huffing gas, i had several very sincere, serious conversations with her. nicole is in her late-30s and also went to school to learn how to work at a hotel, an educational choice that i'm mentioning again in the same slightly disparaging tone. she's got a pompadour and seems like she'd be interested in a local roller derby league forming. she likes to touch while talking and also shared with me that she has sex with men and women. she's very short and... i'm a gentleman, okay? i don't know quite how to put this but... she has a nice figure. when i talk to her, i adopt a mumbling, old fashioned masculine character, alberta accent, spitting molasses through the slit in the lid of a styrofoam coffee cup. tonight, she mentioned that she couldn't find weed and said that the reason was the flooding in southern alberta and highway closures in the bc interior. we sat in the front seat of my car and smoked a joint. i mentioned that i really enjoyed working with rebecca. nicole asked in a flirty way, "ohhhh, you're feeling a little something for her, huh?"
"no no no, nothing like that."
"she's a pretty big girl."
"that's not a problem."
there was some segue to this but i can't remember what it: she pulled open the top of her shirt and showed me the strap of her bra. it was leopard print, or some other animal print. for some reason, i said, "come on, let me see the whole thing."

that's not the right way to build a healthy relationship with co-workers.

for some reason

mysterious

the first guest that came in while i was working also worked our conversation over to flooding in southern alberta. i made some throwaway comment about the tragedy of it.
she said, "it can stay flooded for all i care!"

nah, man. it's like, i mean i was unable to be cool and harness my desire to see her titties and stay in character.

the second guest that came in was named van nostrand. she said it might be tough to spell but i reminded her, kramer as dr. martin van nostrand. she said that her family was very proud of the name and that they've traced their family tree back to the 1630s, friesland. she said that when her second son was born, they let their first son choose a name for him. he chose the name jacob. turns out, they learned this later, their first son had no idea, their first ancestor that came over to canada and settled in toronto was also named jacob.

dylannn i want you to know that i am thinking about you and your sitch and that your stories, while perhaps sad to you, or even irritating, are tremendously beguiling from my POV. hang in there.

This is great reading. Thanks, Dylann.

really enjoying the stories dylannn -- pretty fantastic stuff.

Seconding that, love the stories <3

that's good to hear!

although i wish there was more to say. i've related nearly every incident that has occurred. the only events i've omitted are those that might strain credibility-- even if they're true, they sound a little too good.

is there anything interesting going on in terms of just surroundings; hotel carpet patterning, competing hums of electronic fixtures, &c. i am staying up waiting to do a radio fill in drinking shitty coffee (i went to the place & asked for a medium coffee & then had doubts, whether i should have got a large since i have to be up until probably seven, but lord i don't even wanna see what the large is like now i have the medium) & i am really enjoying this thread, its gateway nocturnalism

i'm not sure about the organization of a daytime hotel staff, but there are two offices that i can sit in. one office is near the front desk and has a flatscreen monitor displaying 9 security camera feeds. it has three white book cases and the only things on them are binders with labels like TIME SHEETS 2010/2011 and they're arranged in alternating black and blue. carpet is coarse, striped taupe beige dark blue. there's a honeywell window fan set in a window and it's blowing on the highest setting and the sound of plastic blades sucking in night air is the main sound. there's another office that's empty except for a desk and fridge, but there's no window and it's hot. there's a large back room with two fridges, a LIFETIME-brand folding table, two bulletin boards (schedule, black and white computer printouts of pictures of cats, a glossy colour picture of a cat in a jar, minutes from the occupational health committee, a notice of contravention from the alberta minstry of labour relations and workplace safety, a list of emergency numbers, the hotel's human rights and harassment policy, an origami flower, a computer printout of a picture of a black woman with the caption "share this if you're a strong, independent black woman who DON'T NEED NO MAN," a sketch of the hotel done by a guest, several thank you cards from guests), a first aid kit on the wall, a water cooler, stacks of phone books, two haier-brand fridges, a water cooler, and several leather office chairs.

on the main floor, there's also a small library, which is octagonal and has views of a creek and an ordered block of forest. in the library, there are several low book cases and a glass case containing local historical artifacts. it is uncarpeted.

there are other things on the main floor:
there's a gym.
the entrance to the outdoor pool is at the east end of the main hallway. it's hot tonight but when i first started working here, a month or so ago, it was still getting cold enough that the pool would steam all night, sending up a constant wet cloud over the east side of the building. there's a wrought iron fence around the pool.
the indoor pool is at the west end of the main hallway. it was built relatively recently and it's industrial and there's nothing about it worth describing, a lot of concrete and beige tile. it closes at ten o'clock, so during the primetime of inactivity between two and three thirty, i'll sometimes go for a swim, which requires some daring on my part because of the long period of time away from my post and semi-public nudity.

does your hotel have any meeting rooms/ballrooms?
how many rooms/suites/floors?
is there a gift shop?
have you had to "walk" anyone yet?
how many similar hotels are there in the area?

there are two large conference rooms. there are also business suites that have a long meeting table and two work areas. there doesn't seem to be a large number of corporate groups. we get a lot of business from tour groups. during the week, there are sometimes talks by local naturalists or historians.
there are five floors. 60 rooms/suites.
there's a gift shop, which sells things like expensive raincoats, books about local history and outdoors topics, small pieces of art by local artists, postcards.
there's an on-site restaurant and room service until midnight.
in all of the instances we were overbooked, i was saved by no shows. i've heard that it's standard practice for hotels to overbook and we are usually overbooked on big weekends. the last week, we've been overbooked by 10-15% because of the amount of no shows and last minute cancellations due to flooding. i think OTAs making bookings can sometimes result in overbooking, if a date is not manually closed on our end. a lot of the booking issues are probably sorted out before i arrive at work. so far this week, i have checked in three guests.
there are many similar hotels in the area. it's a resort area, a major tourist destination for domestic and international tourists. i feel like we're upper midrange, price and qualitywise.

how many security personnel are on duty during your shift

we have a contract with commissionaires; one guy on duty from 11-3.

and after 3....?

nothing, man. is that unusual?

sort of? i dont know.

anyway, good thread.

i am just drinking in these descriptions

it's like a richard ford novel

great thread

although i wish there was more to say. i've related nearly every incident that has occurred. the only events i've omitted are those that might strain credibility-- even if they're true, they sound a little too good.

feeling this, as you'll all know from the famous ilf thread "I SCORED A GOAL FFS" hang on in there, back yourself and give us the full story imo

what happens if you're overbooked and everyone shows up? is there a policy in place for that or do you just have to wing it?

http://blog.cvent.com/blog/meeting-and-event-planning-tips/the-hotel-walk-policy-defined

working late, i only have the vaguest sense of the rest of the staff, especially the heavyweights of guest services that control the lobby during the day, the staff of eight or nine that are here behind the desk and behind other desks during daylight hours. when i come in at 11, sometimes it's a guy named daniel, who is from toronto, went to school in vancouver and actually did some sort of degree in working at hotels. things that drive our conversation: gossip about other staff members, 'ryan gosling or channing tatum'-style pick only one games. but this information is out of date because he got fired for stealing money. now, it's this girl named nicole or a girl named rebecca. rebecca is a coolly religious girl from some fucked up town in northern ontario. the first time i met her, i asked her, "a lot of gas huffing going on up there?"-- that's not a funny thing to say but in my memory of the conversation, i asked it sincerely and quickly realized it wasn't a good first conversation question. i followed that question up with, "how's the moose hunting up there?" she's a singer. after the conversation where i asked her about huffing gas, i had several very sincere, serious conversations with her. nicole is in her late-30s and also went to school to learn how to work at a hotel, an educational choice that i'm mentioning again in the same slightly disparaging tone. she's got a pompadour and seems like she'd be interested in a local roller derby league forming. she likes to touch while talking and also shared with me that she has sex with men and women. she's very short and... i'm a gentleman, okay? i don't know quite how to put this but... she has a nice figure. when i talk to her, i adopt a mumbling, old fashioned masculine character, alberta accent, spitting molasses through the slit in the lid of a styrofoam coffee cup. tonight, she mentioned that she couldn't find weed and said that the reason was the flooding in southern alberta and highway closures in the bc interior. we sat in the front seat of my car and smoked a joint. i mentioned that i really enjoyed working with rebecca. nicole asked in a flirty way, "ohhhh, you're feeling a little something for her, huh?"
"no no no, nothing like that."
"she's a pretty big girl."
"that's not a problem."
there was some segue to this but i can't remember what it: she pulled open the top of her shirt and showed me the strap of her bra. it was leopard print, or some other animal print. for some reason, i said, "come on, let me see the whole thing."

that's not the right way to build a healthy relationship with co-workers.

I want an entire book of Raymond Carver-esque short fiction, On the Midnight Shift

I also have this thread bookmarked, I used to work the 11-7 shift and the night vibe you depict resonates with me. good writing, too! thanks, man.

Yeah, this whole place sounds exactly like certain aspects of hotels I've worked in, except transplanted to what sounds like the wild highwayman frontiers of Canada. I could imagine a world where teleportation is implemented just by having you step inside one sad hotel at 3 AM, and you can step back out of any of them.

you should work on writing a book while you're bored at the hotel, even if it's not about hotels. i would buy it.

yeah, do that

http://media.comicbookmovie.com/images/users/uploads/10300/013819817ryiqj.jpg

Yeah, this whole place sounds exactly like certain aspects of hotels I've worked in

In every hotel ever...

dylannn based on all the clues you've left itt, i think my little brother is spending part of his honeymoon this week at a hotel very near where you work... possibly even AT your hotel?

good thread

just read that heads in beds book it wasnt very good but it got me thinking about upgrades and how i basically have never even really been aware that they exist

gr8000, i just wanted to be sort of light on the details because i was sort of paranoid someone would pop in and ask like, "yo, do you work at the XXXXXXX?" mostly out of a sense of being embarrassed by this, partly by not wanting to get in trouble-- when i first got hired a cautionary tale was told to me about a girl that got fired for tweeting a picture of john cougar mellencamp checking in-- after hinting at or describing doing things i was specifically told not to do while working here.

i only have about five more days here.

Agreed on the Ford/Chandler vibe itt, love this stuff :)

nooo, you must continue working here! For us! xpost

oh dylan i wasn't trying to blow your spot-- just that when my brother started telling me about his honeymoon plans i was like hey wait a minute and thought of this thread

best of luck in your new endeavors; stick with writing

i know, big guy! i trust you on that. you're in the biz.

It's been 5 days.

i started doing this again. not overnight but at night.

in a different situation. it's a hostel. i want to be vague about where. pros: there's extremely limited pressure and i never ever have to wake up until the afternoon and i have time to work on projects outside work and i get to meet people from all over the world. cons: the money is poor. the lack of pressure and formalness can be very hard to handle.

it might be the first job i've ever enjoyed. my co-workers are uniformly nice and cool and the guests are teenagers from denmark and french-canadians on their way west and retired australians cycling from alaska to costa rica.

by the time i finished the last sentence i realized i didn't actually want to talk about it.

here's hoping you change your mind and write screeds.

no. i started talking about it because i'm at work and depressed as fuck and i think i was just going to solicit ilx for advice on how to solve everyday interpersonal problems.

That actually sounds really sweet

hey dylannn is it still working out for you?

yeah it suddenly got really good. sorry for reviving this for nothing. i could talk about it now.

20 years ago I did a stint as a Kitchen Porter at a novotel hotel in Sheffield for a short stretch. It never got good, no Bukowski type action at all, just a lot of taking verbal abuse. Even when the World Championship Snooker was going on nearby at The Crucible I didn't didn't even get a glimpse of any of the snooker stars staying there. I ended up getting into a shoving match with the Geordie twat head chef and walking out at a very inopportune moment for him, leaving the kitchen in chaos on a busy night. That bit was fucking good.

@dylannn, do you do any reading when it's slow? what books do you read under those circumstances? kafka?

i really want to write about being on night float for the psychiatry service but you know

love this thread btw

jim thompson's a swell looking babe is a pretty creepy book with an overnight hotel clerk protagonist

i think about this thread a lot.

http://i.imgur.com/laRrEmB.jpg

work there now

http://cf.badassdigest.com/_uploads/images/26603/shiningprequel__span__span.jpeg

dylannn?? are you serious?

about what?

i work at the hotel in that picture, yes.

it was built in 1914. it is now owned by an investment holding company based in saudi arabia.

http://imgur.com/En05SBO.jpg

http://imgur.com/6hweG4P.jpg

http://imgur.com/GmXPB2m.jpg

http://imgur.com/5Qq5OAc.jpg

wow.

looking through early century pictures, the hotel serves like the same people as it always has, modern iterations of the edmonton raw fur merchant's assocation, resource sector management and executives, various various industry types doing anything possibly associated with oil and gas, galas for syncrude in the ballroom, the ceo of xxxxx infrastructure that nobody has ever heard of but have projects in northern alberta, nigeria, bolivia, libya, trillion dollar company. lots of corporate guests traveling on discount rates.

the rest is:

lots of richest man in grande prairie-types, five nights in the big city in a suite, valet a lifted f-350 and pre-arrival checking out who's dropping a grand a night on a room and it's like, son of the guy whose dad whose grandparents came out to homestead in some town on the alberta-saskatchewan border in the 1910s and got the first ford dealership and built the biggest house in town and it cost them like fifty grand and it has a six car garage and the son now runs one of the dealerships and donated ten grand to the local dinosaur bones/old tractor museum and got a wing named after him, where they have the discovery center where field trips go to dig up plastic bones from a sandbox/the vintage snowmobile section. six figures spent in the outlets and in room dining, mostly on scotch and steaks. preparing guest resumes for them is always interesting, a century of heavy coverage in local newspapers that they now co-own.

guys down from fort mac on romantic getaways that request towel swans on the beds and chocolate covered strawberries, valet lifted f-350s.

nhl teams.

members of third world royal families. members of the british royal family.

prostitutes. invariably quebecois, cash deposits.

minor celebrities. this afternoon: david sedaris.

http://peel.library.ualberta.ca/pcimages/PC/012/web/PC012104.jpg

Fascinating; great posts; thanks for this thread.

Reminded of two photo books/ projects, Sophie Calle's "The Hotel" and Chris Shaw's "Life as a Night Porter."

Would read book of your anecdotes, fragments.

dinosaur bones/old tractor museum

i kiss u

thanks!

it's a cool place to work, actually like it's kind of like working in a time that doesn't exist anymore like there are people working there that have job names that i've only read in like prewar novels? which is what i wrote for: old books. it's like working in 1932. i have come across another like, well a class of people that are familiar with and know oldschool service. there are rich people but most of them are the abovementioned richest man in grande prairie-types or if they're in the resource sector are rich in the sense of having a great big house in a suburb of calgary toward the foothills and have boys weekends in vegas and go to hawaii with the family and work like at some deformed crown corporation or got a degree in some oil related thing and work at cenovus but basically came from the middle class and are staying there because it's the most expensive hotel in the city and they have a corporate rate and a good fitness center but it actually means something to some people even if it's owned by a company in dubai who are focused on opening airport hotels in third tier chinese cities (zhenghzhou 2016 and nanjing 2015) and central asia. i'm not sure how to put it but there are people who breeze in and know all the rules of faded prestige hoteling and have respect for the institution? like they're a cabinet minister's wife off a train from chateau frontenac on their way to banff springs, furs and sturdy luggage, actually greet you by name at the desk even if you're struggling to remember their name. they're demanding but a pleasure to serve because the culture and history of the hotel is all about people like that, old money furs and giant designer glasses and a glass of scotch ready in the lounge ready when he comes through the door and a long long list of private preferences to be prepared prior to arrival. and europeans, they're into it too.

this is the night you learn what it means to work the front desk. this is the night you make that leap from ingenuous clerk to family murderer.

― shit, cat shit, cat shit, cat shit, cat shit, cat shit, cat shit, cat (zachlyon),

lol

just catching up with this thread, great stuff. i am one of those dudes chilling in the grand sprawl of the calgary burbs.
kind of hoping the price of oil starts putting a dent in the number of people who do that annual mexico/vegas/hawaii vacation circuit. have to constantly quell my jealousy when they're walking around all sun-kissed in february, you can't even tan here in august damnit.

ŋeil diamoŋd had a lengthy list of concerns, an extensive rider, intense security. before he came and went each day, his security team did a walkthrough, posted someone at the elevator up to his suite. there are guests that generate some interest and there'll be people loitering outside. but ŋeil, not really. i think he was playing at a casino in town? even the staff who received his resume and extensive notes on his preferences and allergies and whatever seemed unable to remember him. one night, ŋeil decided to walk the short distance from the hotel to some restaurant a half block away. i was invited along for the walk. as we crossed through the park, a man seemed to recognize him. one of the two security guys with us mumbled, "professional autograph seeker" or something. the man grabbed a bike that was leaning against a bench and approached ŋeil and asked him, "how much'll you give me for this bike?"

lolol

so good

:D

i want to marry that hotel

keep thinking about this thread

Had almost forgotten it, thanks.

it's one of the best

Meh.. Just some inconsequential life through a monacle shitjob tourism with all the despair filtered out!

Didn't HOOS have a similar thread at one point?

i recall HOOS had to put someone in they place

My bartender, myself, and my general manager will not tolerate your hate speech on our property. Please leave.