London realness

what is the realest part of london?

i was thinking that maybe erith was the realest place in greater london, its realness augmented in my mind by my never having been to erith

Bexley is pretty grim in general, as far as I can tell, but it has a kind of Gravesend / Medway feel to it that stops me thinking of it as London proper.

Croydon maybe

a lot of bexley is moderately prosperous safe conservative suburbs

http://i.imgur.com/TGLtxrz.jpg

erith yacht club

http://i.imgur.com/NGDzhwl.jpg

mallards road, creekmouth

London's purest realness is surely best characterised by its unusual dispersion, defined by the moments when you turn the wrong way off of a road filled with smiling cupcake artists and find yourself immediately in an abject housing estate, twitching drooling man telling you how you cunts cunt you cunts cunts cunts die cunts.

Difficult to know if the question is genuinely meaningful...but you could argue Hampstead embodies a kind of culture and style of life that's been going on for a quite a while.

bexley town centre is positively gushing with ye olde bucolick pryde. realness only in the tweeest sense (kinda working-class versh of Hampstead mebbe). tweeest not a word but three es in a row

anyway, is this the south-east london tourism board propaganda thread? ready when y'all are

although i'd argue there are parts of east london immediately north of the river (such as beckton and north woolwich) that give the south-east's realest parts a run for their unpretentiousness

the tidal thames littoral is its own thing, it isnt meaningful to pretend north and south are different realms

maybe, what is the realest part of london that doesnt have an e in the postcode district

least pretentious part near where i live is probably thamesmead (proximity to the thames and therefore abandoned docking facilities an extremely important factor in this), but then i've never been to its wilder estuarine cousin erith. am guessing that by the time you're in sheerness the realness is overwhelming to the point of parody

swear i wrote that thames thing before seeing yr littoral xpost

there was a block of flats in thamesmead so real i photographed it, may upload

yesss

edmonton is pretty real, even though i think of canada before i think of london

http://i.imgur.com/nv1cP3T.jpg

emerging immanent from behind a row of birches

whats real

http://i.imgur.com/GXNu0vv.jpg

unpretentious was my translation. but really you shd just know realness, it is its own epithet

thamesmead autonomous oblast

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/26/37444318_18b0e0d3ef_z.jpg?zz=1

that day I also photographed a ceremonial cannon pointing directly at a heron*. it was a good, real day

*in thamesmead's outdoor civic mall, a place that one could describe fairly fairly as really real

p.s. crackle box you show me a london estate and i'll show you that picture. we want realness on a perversely grand scale here

that's edmonton job centre. the desolate end of the world, with carriage lamps.

is the thamesmead estate able to be real? does its iconic status/film use disqualify?

glamourised real is real nonetheless - what else is this thread? besides, Kubrick chose a block of flats that had the decency to be next to a lake - that one was just pure concrete-walkway-linked realness

seriously?

Lower Belvedere is better known for a Methodist chapel, a Sikh Temple and a high technology sludge incinerator and a large waste incinerator.

http://i.imgur.com/TUA2jvq.jpg

danson park, welling

I think once you reach Welling you're becoming too Kentish for Londonish realness. There's quite a notable difference in the short drive from really real Plumstead High Street to Welling or Bexleyheath.

nowhere is real

profound

Welling is also often confused with Welwyn Garden City. More proof of its unrealness right there.

otoh there is a Polish place in the former, so..

wonder what the most *unreal* place in SE LDN is...probably the 'estate' a certain site moderator lives on, which had, last time I saw, an unmade road to discourage traffic of anything other than the SUV variety

jokes, bruv

never eard of most of these manors guv

malick's ballardlands

erith is pronounced EErith (or eeriff) apparently

Harlesden and other swathes of Brent are still pretty far from gentrification, unless I've missed something.

The realest part of London would be the muck on the bed of the Thames.

Realest ate

i was thinking abouts then sdens the other day, maybe nea >>> harle >>>>>>>>>>>> wille in terms of realness

For bonus points, Erith is at the end of several night bus routes. I've woken up there several times.

There are probably some bits around NW London that count as well, what's that bit around Hanger Lane called? Maybe Edmonton Green or somewhere as well. Would've suggested Woolwich until the other week.

hillingdon?

that edward platt book leadville, on the a40, probably counts. cricklewood too?

this thread might be about secondary or heterodox realnesses as well -- not just yr canning town realness but more suburban or peripheral types

What did I know of Cricklewood to be so uppity? I went to a school in Hampstead of which one wall formed the border with a Cricklewood council estate from which rude boys emerged to mock us for our straw boaters, and access to the school was primarily from the bus and trolleybus routes that intersected at Cricklewood Broadway. Thus it was in the 1940s that Cricklewood was on my map.

It was then a nesting-place for European Jews and Issy Bonn, a Yiddish humorist on the BBC's Home Service, dubbed it Cricklevitch and adopted the persona of kosher shopkeeper.

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/cricklewood-and-coren-a-beautiful-friendship-6620223.html

I remember Willesden Green station when it was lit only by oil lamps, and one left it into unlighted lanes with hedges, which is my first recollection of Walm Lane. I remember walking to Cricklewood and being so frightened of the loneliness of it all that I turned tail and scuttled back home again as fast as I could!

that is one of only six results for 'cricklevitch', which i am told was once a common colloquialism

nice

http://www.britishpathe.com/video/issy-bonn-the-famous-hebrew-comedian-1

xps

ha, was just coming to mention Leadville, tho' also putting forward hypothesis that a40 realness can get overhyped because it is often Oxford students' first encounter with the real infinite suburbia of London, & so it occupies prime place in the fantasy of the real ('no, but what would it actually be like to live there?') for the cultural hegemony caste.

When I think of Cricklewood, I think of Alan Coren.

xpost - think that's an element of it probably. tho the tangible decay and impermanence of that fringe of Acton due to the mismanagement of property + planning, has a different feeling from the Isleworth/Housnlow A4 corridor, say. That bit round the back of Acton and White City - Wormwood Scrubs and Hammersmith Hospital (not Charing X hospital, which is in Hammersmith) - is also strange. One of those areas where buses stop on corners if you wave - like Tottenham Hale.

Spent a bit of time on the top floor of Hammersmith Hospital, just staring out all day at the unkept recreation ground, watching distant ant-like figures, like in a Breughel painting, trudging from one distant corner to the another, in an area with apparently nothing. Was in the open plan area next to where Wormwood Scrubs inmates get treated. Queuing for the loo at two in the morning with the hard cases with wheely drips. 'Mind if I go first, son?' 'Nope'.

I lived for a few months in that precise area last year. The realest thing that happened to me was getting a Coke bottle flung at my head by a gang of youths while push-scootering down Wulfstan Street (I was not the realest thing that happened to East Acton).

lol

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3802/8917815212_0a8b5073a1_c.jpg

nico hogg still on dis ting

http://www.flickr.com/photos/nicohogg/

was thinking about him the other day

Whoa at that flicker, those are great.

this thread might be about secondary or heterodox realnesses as well -- not just yr canning town realness but more suburban or peripheral types

Perivale or somewhere maybe? There are huge swathes of West London suburbia like this, Acton, Alperton, Sudbury, Harlseden, what happens in these places? But, y'know, West London.

Sidcup is a district in South East London and is a part of the London Borough of Bexley, with small parts of the district in the Royal Borough of Greenwich. Located 11.3 miles (18.2 km) south east of Charing Cross. Whilst now a part of Greater London, it was once referred to as the gateway to Kent.
Sidcup has a mixture of large Victorian and Edwardian properties alongside typical 1930s suburbia, primarily owner occupied semi-detached and detached housing. It retains many parks and open spaces hinting at the great estates and large homes which once stood in the area.

The town contains a major hospital, a recently opened sports and leisure centre, as well as two colleges (Bird College and Rose Bruford College) and an orchestra.[1] The town centre has a mix of high street stores, independent shops, a modern library, coffee shops, several pubs and two supermarkets, Morrisons near the high street and Tesco on the outskirts in Foots Cray. Sidcup contains a number of districts, some of them once villages in their own right - Blackfen, Foots Cray, Longlands, and Lamorbey.

When I think of Cricklewood, I think of Alan Coren.

Yeah, him and the Goodies.

Of course this is all alien lands to me.

need to make a realness gmap of London.

protect the zone 4/5 realness belt.

what's the realest part of hull, NV?

Has anyone read Fowler's End by Gerard Kersh? http://www.londonfictions.com/gerald-kersh-fowlers-end.html Fictional Real London.

Hull is huge swathes of real, but realness of different vintages lie scattered and overlapping around the place. I shall take these considerations to a relevant thread.

Circle of Realness

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7f/London_north-south_circulars.svg/300px-London_north-south_circulars.svg.png

the south circular is definitely real enough to have the occasional political murder happen on it

There is no south circular.

S Circular has longish non-real stretch clockwise from ~Dulwich

The only bit that *maybe* counts is the section between Catford and Woolwich. The rest of it is decidedly Not Real London.

actually, yeah, that sounds about right. Brownhill Rd the stretch I know best, does have some dead suburban real.

am thinking that the south circular becomes real again for about five minutes between clapham and wandsworth, but i could be wrong

aiui the current ownership of qpr is essentially a long term bet on the future regeneration of said nw ldn realness zone via the old oak common hs2 crossrail

budding iain sinclairs should pop their barbours on and get out there while they still can

actually, yeah, that sounds about right. Brownhill Rd the stretch I know best, does have some dead suburban real.

Heh, I grew up off that road.

hah, my gf lives on Springbank Road, I spend about 1/2 the week around that bit of Hither Green.

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3399/3617315609_84b16e686e_o.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/P1Ch6Kl.jpg

Seen from Upper Belvedere is Thames Water's Crossness Sludge incinerator on the Thames bank at Belvedere. This burns all the solids from the sewage of South London.

the bexley guggenheim

Dormers Wells or Dormer's Wells is a small suburban community in west London, and part of the London Borough of Ealing and the Southall post town area. The area has a large secondary school, Dormers Wells High School. There is also a local primary school, playcentre, nursery and community centre. There are also a few small village-style communities like Mount Pleasant, Telford and Allenby. There is also an old people's home in Dormers Wells.

Mogden Sewage Treatment Works more info‎
Greater London
2 reviews

The surrounding locality is rarely called Mogden anymore, either because of the name’s association with sewage or because it was never a very attractive word in the first place. Ivybridge is the preferred identity both for resid­ential and commercial devel­opments. Dominated by four monolithic tower blocks, the council’s Ivybridge estate is the largest in the borough and has some of its highest levels of deprivation.

there should be a thread of google reviews

When I was a boy I played 5-a-side on the Ivybridge estate. It is very real. Mogden's stench has its charm, but I always preferred Mortlake tip for an olfactory assault.

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3072/2593920042_f8bd1a4396_b.jpg

silvertown

International airport, event centre and all pervading smell of syrup can't diminish the realness. It's a strong contender.

Picture reminds me of north Birkenhead. Without the airport or event centre. Substitute parma violets for syrup.

Demolished now, that station. "For Crossrail", but it seems like you could say that about anything.

Ian Wright, the footballer, lives in Upper Shirley.
Graham Kendrick, the famous Christian singer-songwriter/worship leader, used to live in Upper Shirley.
Ronnie Corbett, comedian, has lived in Shirley for many years.
Blak Twang, UK Hip-Hop rapper, lives in Shirley
Dougie Freedman, Crystal Palace FC and Scotland footballer, lives in the Shirley Hills area.

Large hole appearing in Brockley Rise, Honor Oak, causes delays

4:49pm Thursday 27th June 2013 in News

A HOLE has opened up on Brockley Rise in Honor Oak this afternoon.

People have taken to Twitter to post pictures of the large hole in the road, which is expected to cause major delays in the area.

"police are looking into it"

lol

cookster says...
5:25pm Thu 27 Jun 13
Police are looking into it.

(c) 1975.

first comment imago m8 http://www.attraction-tickets-direct.co.uk/forum/images/smilies/2/3/tut-tut.gif

borrowed from The Private Eye's 'Book Of Boobs', a misprints compilation lying around chez nous when I were a YOUNG ONE

*Private Eye's, no The. And to think I suffer this every time someone mentions The Cardiacs

see i dont want to downplay this, because at a certain point a hole appearing in the ground does become a thing, not merely a carlinian good story -- if something comparable to the darvaza crater (even without the fire) summarily appeared in ickenham, that would equate to about 40-50 fatal stabbings of unarmed teenagers in terms of its impact upon the collective consciousness

the Inferno literally right there in front of Greggs

Actually, it's the Hellmouth.

Didn't Blackheath crater a few years back?

I mean, what do you think I meant by Inferno, some kids a bin and a lighter

Blackheath, being a heathen bijou of iniquity, will doubtless succumb to something someday soon, although I suspect it'll just be a price-hike at the Village Deli

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx3TjnPlX-8

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shacklewell

just posting this for the annotation under the main picture

& the second one too

ahahaha

fucking killer wikibantz

Sad Wikipedia

thought that was a category for a moment

http://s0.geograph.org.uk/photos/38/96/389689_f347fef2.jpg

^ these were the shops we used to go to when I was a kid

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8017/7481409666_5fb0ec8a3a.jpg

London's purest realness is surely best characterised by its unusual dispersion, defined by the moments when you turn the wrong way off of a road filled with smiling cupcake artists and find yourself immediately in an abject housing estate, twitching drooling man telling you how you cunts cunt you cunts cunts cunts die cunts.

― ohmigud (Merdeyeux), Sunday, 26 May 2013 22:40

xp
I've always thought that this comes as part of living in London. But, god, where I have lived for the last four years has just been the you cunts cunt you cunts die bit. Forever. All over. I'm really hoping to move to at least the edges of the you cunt cunt die, people very soon. I just don't get on with them, y'know.

Fingers crossed that it works.

I've had a brutal night with scary neighbours. Sorry about the swears.

aw dude i hope those cunts fuck off too

nick i had to search for that fine example of a 60s estate pub

i think the people in this pub are really helpful and there is really good athomspear
Report this for removal
reagan - reagan_adams1✧✧✧@ya✧✧✧.c✧.u✧ - 4 Oct 2004 14:55

more like athomsfear amirite?

athomspear cockroach of cockroach london

haha otm

this thread needs more emphasis on bougie realness

Difficult to know if the question is genuinely meaningful...but you could argue Hampstead embodies a kind of culture and style of life that's been going on for a quite a while.

― obligatory kate winslet nipple shot (Bob Six), Sunday, 26 May 2013 22:41 (1 month ago)

this it not right at all for instance....hampstead is a heritage playground simulation of a victorian literary enclave where even tenth house is listed, it's full of american bankers and arsenal players (henry and cesc for sure) and the more peripheral areas like south hampstead / belsize park have a particular history of interwar german/austrian intellectual diaspora which is inimical to real englishness

for haut bougie chelsea seems the ur-realness, the stolidity of inherited wealth without the flash of knightsbridge or whatever, for normal bougie maybe mill hill and twickenham, mostly sedate development from the early 20th century

There are more American bankers in Chelsea than in Hampstead. I tend to lump it in with Kensington / Knightsbridge / Holland Park as places most of the wealthy Brits have cashed out of by now, although that might not be right. I don't get the same feeling from Mayfair for some reason.

Always assumed that Wimbledon had some bougie realness going on but have never had a reason to visit to find out.

Hampstead's just full of people who can afford to hire Kelly Pollen to decorate nouveau-riche stylee, because whether footballer/media person/exec they are nouveau riche, but there are still genteel, vaguely thespy/literary people kicking around - they're the ones who do neighbourhood stuff. Still plenty of wealthy/posh Brits in Notting Hill and Kensington (clue: they're older than the bankers) but the Toby Youngs have been moaning about price-outs for almost 20 years already.

Bougie realness can be found in all of SW London: Richmond, Putney, Barnes, Sheen, blah, blah, blah.

I was speaking to a Russian millionaire recently who was moaning about being priced out of Chelsea, and subsequently Holland Park, by wealthier Russian millionaires.

I've been working summers at the Notting Hill farmer's market for a few years, and our customers are a blend of long-time residents with family money (the kind of middle class who bought fixer-uppers in 1970), expats who nevertheless appreciate the community and participate in local stuff, older people of colour, ageing aristos in mansion flats shopping with their housekeepers, young middle-income professionals, old school BBC, oligarch WAGs, and (occasionally) Terence Stamp. But most are rosy-cheeked middle-class British foodies, and 99.9 per cent are genially polite and genuinely neighbourly to each other.

yeah, the sw kew/wimbledon/richmond/TWICKERS sweep seems full-on bougie realness whenever I've been through. Rugby pubs.

Last weekend an Oz couple appeared in the market, in his-n-hers team shirts, as if any help were needed putting the UGH in rugby.

turneresque maccy's roundabout realness in eltham

https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=mcdonalds&hl=en&ll=51.452633,0.035604&spn=0.00103,0.002607&sll=51.454274,0.024118&sspn=0.014869,0.041714&hq=mcdonalds&t=m&layer=c&cbll=51.45278,0.035443&panoid=na2zaf58s2DrwEOfx9eb7g&cbp=12,251.58,,0,-10.74&z=19

that's a few hundred yards from my cricket club :)

what's your club imago? I play for Shakespeare CC in Stoke Newington.

i play for roan & lambethans 2nd xi. began the season with a 50 and it's been downhill since. we've won 3 out of the last 4 though so

we're 6-1 for the season, no thanks to some half-track filth from me, though I did score 15* to win the match a few weeks ago coming in at 10.

the proportion of american bankers in whichever area being unfalsifiable, they tend to be invested in some notion of 'englishness' which shall never be real and gravitate to more 'characterful' areas like hampstead or connaught square or holland park or i think in the case of the last corp lawyer i met, west kensingtonish.....whereas chelsea is resolutely dull and moneyed without affectations, it even has a council ambience in terms of having limited amenities in proportion to residential stock

council *estate*

Hampstead's just full of people who can afford to hire Kelly Pollen to decorate nouveau-riche stylee, because whether footballer/media person/exec they are nouveau riche, but there are still genteel, vaguely thespy/literary people kicking around - they're the ones who do neighbourhood stuff.

― aldi young dudes (suzy), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 08:48 (6 hours ago)

and the ones who will kill you in your sleep if you even think of tarting up yr regency house indecorously

idk, people tend to gravitate to wherever their compatriots are already gathered. Chelsea has the highest proportion of US-born citizens anywhere in Europe, barring military bases, iirc, but that might be wrong / have changed.

seems that from london districts kensington and chelsea had the highest proportion of americans in 2001, although while watching wimbledon im not finding the 2011 census figure right now

it may well still be true, and there is probably a higher % of rental property in central districts so people on corporate secondment for a couple of years will be more likely to stay there

What would the Camden New Journal be without the ancien regime of Hampstead/Primrose Hill moaning about celebrity basement extensions?

RBK&C has Americans by the metric fuckton, and they all go to the farmer's markets.

turneresque maccy's roundabout realness in eltham

I am fond of tudorbethan BK at fiveways
http://goo.gl/maps/39S42

AN ECCENTRIC Italian from Erith who laughed as a court heard how he tried to lick a commuter's ankles could have the smile wiped off his face with a jail sentence.

Carlos Spigno, 50, of Blyth House, MacArthur Close, rubbed the train passenger's feet ignoring her pleas to stop.

He lurched forward to lick her ankles then thrust his hand up her skirt.

It was only when the woman hit him and threatened to call the police that Spigno ran off, clutching his bottles of wine and brandy.

He insisted the woman had allowed him to fondle her feet but was convicted by the jury at Blackfriars Crown Court.

Spigno had infuriated Judge Peter Clarke by turning up an hour late for court and blamed 'the wind' for slowing down his bicycle.

When his offence was being described Spigno yelled: 'All this talk is not relevant' and was told he would be sent to the cells if his outbursts continued.

ran off, clutching his bottles of wine and brandy

no grain alcohol for the affected swine

was coincidentally just looking up about chesham tube station. probably the most unreal, unLondon London realness there is

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/08/Chesham_station_buidling.jpg/800px-Chesham_station_buidling.jpg

gettin me all chiasmic

theres a surprising amount of news stories involving erith

did a doubletake at the story of tragically deceased erith schoolboy fitba star philip lamin....rip, sad i never got to post the philip lahm forum jpg on the event of his professional debut

philip lahm forum blingee I hope

erith is where news gathers at the river's final significant ante-estuarine bend

grays notwithstanding, but that's essex realness, an entirely different deal

Carole Rosier, Regional Manager of Wilko on High Street North, East Ham, was presented with the Flame of Hope award at a ceremony at Hotel Russell in central London.

She was also named Corporate Community Supporter of the Year for her dedication to holding events in store for Cancer Research UK.

Carole, who has worked for Wilko for 23 years, also runs stores in Thamesmead, Dartford, Dagenham, Erith, Penge, East Ham, Swanley, Woolwich and Bromley.

the crab of realness limns itself through leylines between her domains

I feel more should be made of Penge, if only for the name.

That is a pretty comprehensive sweep I gotta say. All that time reading Sinclair when I could have been shopping at Wilko

Penge has the kind of speculative realness I associate with everywhere that's a handful of stops farther than I'll ever go on the train routes I use, and also the added bonus of sounding like an insult.

http://dxcpw8yg8uhxn.cloudfront.net/518680b09e44829fd9b72050d300da00profile.jpg

this rather jumped out of the gis results for chesham

http://craigpatrickedwards.co.uk/galleries/metroland/

Goldsmiths College, University of London (2005-2006)
MA Photography & Urban Cultures

University of Northampton (2001-2004)
BA (Hons) English Literature/Cultural Studies

Intrigued by Strucutralist and Post-Structuralist debates around the formation of ‘signs’ and cultural ‘myths’, most notably Derrida, my work considers how the act of art practice can be used in the visual ‘deconstruction’ of such ‘myths’.

Inspired by early twentieth century marketing of London’s suburbs my 2008 series metro/land presents a number of urban identities out of place in the countryside. I am currently in the process of adding to this series.

the discreet charm of psychogeography

I'm constantly being surprised by Penge not being in Wales.

Penge has more English bull terriers than anywhere else I've seen in London, it's got that England flag suburban sprawl feel sorted. On the other hand, it got a gastropub the other month, and realness is being pushed further and further down the ELL.

Rotherhithe is still pretty real though.

before charlton we strongly considered moving to rotherhithe and its wild maritime urbanity

riverine roverive

reverie

by Rivette

Alienating and expensive gastropub opened in middle of poor area= realest of the real

Nah, it's getting Crystal Palace overspill now, gentrification's definitely at work.

There's a bit that runs from Lower Sydenham to Downham that I wandered through not long ago that is proper real. All the pubs that used to be there have been demolished and replaced with big retail boxes. Except the one that's been converted into a McDonalds, naturally.

http://www.downhamonline.org.uk/photos/albums/uploads/normal_DSC02148.JPG

i would love to read an ilx authored coffee table book of photos/essays on real london/real england

Is the Bridge House Tavern the gastropub in Penge? That was a rough boozer before reopening about five years ago with balsamic vinegar and chips in metal pots.

The Waterman's Almshouses are interesting, and quite incongruous as you proceed along the High Street (can't seem to find a good view of them on Streetview). Also next to the junction where we were recently sworn at by some tattooed, bronzed geezer drifting out into traffic in his Mazda MX-5 while on his mobile; we honked, he shouted FUCK OFF. Real.

someone at work (in glasgow) sent me this link:

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10534660.Catford_fox_horror_for_man_on_toilet/

so i sent him this realness pic of Catford High Street:

http://www.angrybeaton.com/blog/archives/catford_cat.jpg

Mr Schofield added: "It was so frightening. It was like a wild animal."

News Shopper a bit too knowing sometimes – post-Sport, post-Viz - eg this cover story -

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/8190485.ELTHAM__Crow_attacks_leave_blonde_joggers_in_a_flap/

agree penge seems on the way up, the Overground probably helps.

lol the guy quoted in that crow article, Colin Jerwood, is the singer of anarcho-punk band Conflict.

My mate who is a tv editor has just moved to Penge to get the biggest house possible to raise his new son - I imagine lots of similar folk are doing the same.

what are the best local newspapers in london

often enjoy the Hounslow Chronicle. Used to spend a fair bit of time in this place - Cafe Society - a horrible but extremely convenient place to drink, with all the atmosphere of an abandoned garage:

http://www.hounslowchronicle.co.uk/west-london-news/local-hounslow-news/2012/11/08/owner-refutes-police-claims-his-cafe-is-gang-haunt-109642-32193231/

wish I could find the police report pdf, which was hilarious, where Mr Shah tells a series of blatant porkies about 'a quiet girl', who'd been to the 'club' before wanting to have an evening called INSURRECTION and Mr Shah not feeling this needed reporting to the police despite a requirement to do so.

Follows the machete attack:

"The manager stated he saw the victim with a small bit of red on his head, the victim has a ten-inch wound"

whereupon the bouncer tells the victim to leave and walk to the nearest hospital something over a mile away.

Somehow he's still going with the 6am licence tho fortunately I don't drink there any more. no need to be tempted by the cream-cheese and sausage omlette for breakfast or the Pasta Al For No at lunch.

ah, here we go:

http://democraticservices.hounslow.gov.uk/(S(hj2n0cnis1gyz2vm20rayv55))/mgConvert2PDF.aspx?ID=77746

Please state the ground(s) for review (please read guidance note 1)
Over the last year Café Society has come to the attention of Police when it was hired
by high ranking gang members, police intervened and several events were cancelled
at short notice.
As a result police had several meetings with Mr Shah (DPS and Owner) where the
problems were discussed.
In order to risk assess any future events police requested that Mr Shah should notify
police whenever a ‘promoted’ event was booked. It was agreed that a Met Police
form 696 would be completed and submitted to police at least 2 weeks prior to any
promoted event.
On Wednesday 26th September 2012 police were handed a promotional flyer
advertising an event called ‘INSURRECTION’ that was due to take place on Friday
28th September 2012.
Police were concerned because Mr Shah had not notified police of the event and the
form 696 had not been submitted.
Police contacted Mr Shah to discuss the event, Mr Shah assured police that the
event had no connections with any gang members and was simply a party organised
by a girl who was a regular visitor to the club who had never organised an event in
the past.
The event went ahead and a male at the venue was attacked by another male with a
machete or other heavy sharp bladed weapon, the victim was one of the organisers
and he suffered a 10cm x 25mm wide cut to the right side of his head.
Doctors at West Middlesex Hospital confirmed that the injury in their opinion was
caused by a heavy sharp bladed weapon.
During the investigation police were extremely concerned about how the incident was
dealt with for several reasons:
1, Police were informed that the venue had no external CCTV when it did.
2, Police were not called or notified of the incident either at the time or afterwards.
3, No Ambulance was called.
4, The door staff witnessed the incident but failed to assist the victim.
5, The door staff told the victim to run away from the premises.
6, The door staff failed to detain the suspect.
7, Neither the door staff or the owner made any record of the incident.
8, The club operators made no attempt to follow

On or about the 14th February 2012 I was made aware of a further booking that
was believed to be associated with gang members. The criminal intelligence
report read as follows:-
TXRT00347877 14/02/2012
Received by text message on 13/02/2012 a message informing about a double birthday party "A
touch of white" hosted by Lovers rock legend XXXXXXXXXXXXXand Mr XXXXXXXX on
25/02/2012 venue THE CAFE SOCIETY 5 WINSOR CLOSE BRENTFORD TW8 9DZ from 22:00
hours on 25/02/12 to 06:00 hours on 26/02/2012 previous functions scheduled for 17/02/2012 and
24/02/2012 had been cancelled because of gang interest shown for these activities Crimint
TXRT000347637 & TXRT000347639 refers however the function scheduled for 25/02/2012 is still
set to go ahead so there are fears that these gangs might be drawn to that event on that night .

Criminal Intelligence reports relating to the incident
TXRT00354827 29/09/2012
Police attended cafe society after a victim attended West Middlesex Hospital with cuts to his head
stating he had been attacked with a machete. While on scene the door staff did not seem to
want to assist police. Despite seeing the victim of the assault involved in a fight the
bouncer stated that he had not seen any punches thrown and simply sent the victim away
with a bleeding head. He only stated this after a number of questions from police and was
not forthcoming with information. The manager was unable to give the name of two of his
door staff who are likely to have witnessed the fight and could only provide details of the
security company manager. The manager stated he saw the victim with a small bit of red on
his head, the victim has a 10 inch wound. None of the staff called police to the fight or
assisted the victim with his injuries. There was a definite impression that the staff knew
more than they were letting on. When police tried to check CCTV the one camera that
covers the front of the venue is blocked by the pole it is supported on so no images were
available

0513335/12 @ 0500hrs
The VIW was DJing at the venue from 2300-0500 hours. As he has exited the venue he has been
approached by a female friend who has asked for a lift as she had drank too much and could not drive.
The VIW has agreed and waited for the female in his car as she secured her vichicle and gathered some
things from it. While she was doing this several IC3 males have suddenly jumped into her car.
The VIW has exited her car and gotten into the VIWs car in an attempt to talk to her. All were drunk
apparently.
VIW was sat in the drivers seat with front windows down, his friend has gotten in the passenger seat and
another female friend into the back of the car.
this group has followed the female and one has leaned into the passenger side window which was open and
started to talk to the female, as he is doing this, for some reason he has taken a phone charger belonging to
VIW. VIW has managed to take it back however.
The male was then talking to the female and was saying how he was a bad man, and how he could hurt
people etc.
The females were laughing, The VIW took his boasts to be a joke and said; “IF YOURE GONNA HURT
PEOPLE, JUST DO IT”
Next another male has approached the drivers side window and said; “TALKING LIKE THAT COULD
GET YOU INTO TROUBLE/GET HIM OUT THE CAR/GET HIM OUT THE CAR”
This male has opened the drivers door and tried to undo the VIWs seatbelt.
The VIW has leaned forward to prevent this male undoing the seat belt.
As the VIW has leant forward the VIW felt punches to theback of his head, approx 3-4 ata Protection Act - Dispose Of As Confidential Waste
PC SR LAWRENCE 134TX 194230
CR:0521989/12 CrType:C Notifiable/MPS/Other:N-1 Status:U Press:N Class:S/GBH W/I GLU:TX
Details of Investigation
the female in the back has shouted “STOP THAT, HES MY BROTHER”
This female has then exited the car, The male whom was standing at the drivers door has been pulled back
by others in the group. The female has placed herself between him and the car and the VIW has managed to
close his car door.
The VIW has noticed his car keys missing and has asked for them back.
One of the group has then returned the keys to the VIW.
The VIW has pulled the passengers doors closed and just as he was about to pull out he has been struck to
the right of his face with such force that his cheekbone has become fractured.
(VIW attended CHARING CROSS who took an x-ray)
The VIW did not see who or what struck him. The SUS was no where to be seen.
The nearest persons to the VIW were 1.5-2 metres away. The VIW saw no item or stone lying about
nearby.
The SUS later approached the VIW and apologized for his behaviour.
3. VIW states his right cheekbone is fractured. No First Aid required.

0522631/10 @ 0312hrs
Police called to the location of the car park outside Café Society Club due to a large disturbance.
On arrival a large crowd of approximately 100 people were milling about in the car park after a function
which had taken place at the Club.
Many of the people there were intoxicated and argumentative. The crowd was dispersed and the situation
calmed.
VIW1 made herself known to police. She stated that an argument had taken place inside the club which had
spilled out into the car park and that during the disturbance she had been pushed from behind causing her to
fall to the floor resulting in a slight cut to her hand.
VIW1 declined first aid and LAS attendance.
VIW1 could not identify the person that had pushed her over and did not want to substantiate any
allegations, she stated that the main protagonists of the disturbance had left the location prior to police
arrival and that she wished no further police action at the time.
0500366/11 @2345hrs

2. Comprehensive resume of how offence happened. Give route of victim prior to offence or background
history as appropriate.
VIW1 attended a New Year Dance at the ‘Café Society’ bar on the Great West Road in Brentford. Whilst
she was there she got up from her seat to go and talk to a friend and as she was walking back to her seat a
male who she knows as xxxxx xxxxxxxx trod on her foot. She bent down to rub her foot and as she stood
up and turned around the male with a clenched fist hit her on the right breast causing reddening to it. The
male also was shouting obscenities at VIW1 such as “You are a bitch and a whore” At the time she did not
report this to police as she did not want to make a fuss but then later she was speaking with a Hounslow
police officer whilst she was at work who suggested she should report the incident. VIW1 knows the male
as they are both from the Seychelles and often attend the same social events together. She has known him
for about 20 years and has had issues in the past with him as she was friends with his ex-girlfriend.

http://i.thisis.co.uk/275520/article/images/htfp/http___www.holdthefrontpage.co.uk_images4_squirrelsoncrack.jpg
Obv.

Fizzles getting me all misty-eyed here ffs.

googling suggests I can download "INSURRECTION EVENT @ CAFE SOCIETY DJ JAY WALK FT MC'S LOOPZ B2B PERCH SHUTDOWN SHIFT 28 09 12", tempted if I wasn't at work.

Always remember DJ Article Dave was a big draw as well.

It was always quite good when they started setting up on a Friday night, with various hoods and DJs milling around setting up/looking slightly awkward.

impt update

AN ITALIAN pervert from Erith who laughed as a court heard how he tried to lick a commuter's feet had the smile wiped off his face when he was jailed for 15 months.

Carlos Spigno, 50, of Blyth House, MacArthur Close, arrived at Blackfriars Crown Court for sentencing on Friday (JULY 12) dressed in shorts and a yellow Brazilian football shirt.

daft sentencing, spiggers

not sure why "real" seems to equal "crime" in this thread but a few feet from my door, four girls attacked a pregnant woman first verbally then physically. my next-door neighbour tried to break it up and got slapped in the face for her trouble, then my neighbour on the other side tried to break it up and was attacked by ALL the girls at once, and then one of the girls opened the door of her car, which was right there, and pulled out a baseball bat and broke the guy's door. they then scarpered. my 1-yr-old and i saw the whole thing from our front steps. seconds after the girls had left he pointed at a cat and said "cat!"

man england is fucking violent

that is in some sense real but simply equating realness with yr usual indicators of social deprivation is a calumny against the many and diverse realnesses attested to in this thread

agreed

this block is pretty fuckin real though

england is very violent in some ways, the rates of violent robberies, assaults etc are typically the highest in western europe but the murder rate is only around the average thanks to restrictive gun laws

the baltic countries are traditionally the most violent in europe, i have a book somewhere which attempts to explain this wrt the later arrival of civic society, alcohol consumption, climate, deprivation, various inequities etc

the african gent who got his door smashed in just moved in about three months ago with his wife and four kids. prior to that, the residents comprised a professional bike thief stroke small-time drug dealer, his psychotic wife two sweet-as-anything kids, aged 5 and 7, and their mastiff, literally named "precious". downstairs from me is a 40-year-old actor and his director wife. mix of terrace houses and dumpy housing association blocks. usually it feels like sesame street. like NO aggro (well, except for the psychotic woman next door who would scream at the top of her lungs at 3 in the morning like clockwork and who has thankfully moved on, after a parade of failed police investigations failed to budge them)

does this sort of stuff make you consider moving to some dull but safe suburb

not at all. it's weird, it doesn't faze me AT ALL. and like.... maybe it should?? i get way more freaked out in new york for some reason. i dunno. like i said, this neighbourhood is usually sesame street, people greet each other on the street, kids call out to each other walking home from school, there's a butcher and ancient health food shop, two charity shops, a caff, a greeting card shop, a second-hand appliance shop, two kebab places, a pawnbroker and a tesco. what more could a guy want?

and oh yeah, a bike repair shop that opens its doors to the public maybe twice a month.

ugh i just found out the father of one of my 4-yr-old's best friends at nursery school, who went after the girls' car with his OWN baseball bat, has not returned home yet :/

idk, i don't think that particular incident should make you have second thoughts because it wasn't a threat to you or your children but the preponderance of baseball bats is perhaps worrying

the only person who i know to be in possession of a baseball bat is an 80 yr old living in a sedate and moneyed suburb who reads the daily telegraph religiously

i doubt he knows who alex rodriguez is

but i only know that cuz one of his kids thinks it is hilarious and told me, so conceivably many others have them

baseball bats common in the uk?

As weapons, yes.

http://blog.sfgate.com/techchron/2011/08/09/amid-london-riots-baseball-bat-sales-soar-6500-on-amazon/

Lots of shopkeepers have them behind the desk. Never seen one in the street though.

why baseball bats over cricket bats?

weird. I guess bat-as-weapon drives the market then.
xpost

Baseball bats are easier to swing and would probably do more damage.

i could answer that but i would rather we agreed to a moratorium on answers until lj returns to the thread

a baseball bat has the same impact no matter what its rotation. a cricket bat has wildly different types of impact depending upon what angle it is wielded. baseball bat is for those who don't want to think too hard about that kind of shit

also baseball bats are lighter and hence you can probably lift & strike more quickly - the whole movement is much more inefficient. cricket bat pickups are slightly slower, even if they deliver equal or even greater force

*efficient, even

also, a baseball bat is easy to swing at any angle from a pickup position, whereas a cricket bat, being heavier, has most of its momentum down the natural swing of the arms. it's very hard to imagine using a cricket bat effectively in a melee situation where numerous swings in different directions will sabotage its momentum

mostly though it's because baseball bats are gangsta and they're used as weapons in gangsta movies. cricket bats are lovely thank you sir and they're used as weapons in comedy movies.

*runs into telephone box, reassumes evening garb*

cometh the hour, cometh the minatory cypriot wrapping a bulbous kookaburra round yr fuckin wingmirrors

slaz blud, or my g&m if yer really asking frit

the two baseball bats taken up tonight were both basically T-ball bats, aluminum and very short

Does the snooker cue fit in here somewhere or is that strictly for pub nutters?

would think that snooker cue usage is usually characterised by spontaneity. the golf club is a good go-to in the north but i suppose by the time you're down to london its status as a class signifier has soared too high for it to be a respectable weapon.

Southerner Jack Tweed was notorious for using a golf club in one of his assaults.

croquet mallet imo

there's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in millets

i never get into a scrap without my polo mallet.

and horse.

It's all blades round are way. Anyone swinging a cricket bat would be run out of town.

A croquet mallet would probably make a reasonable weapon but would just be too camp for even yr most debonair of thugs.

throw a rugby ball really hard at an intruders head

invade their country and move people there causing a massive eternal conflict, plus refuse to give them grain when there's a famine

^ poss. tangent

Then put ketchup on their pizza

^ poss. tangent

you're right. cricket bat all the way.

hurling stick probably the most lethal of the lot tbfttl

still on tenterhooks for news of tracer's neighbour here

hurling stick probably the most lethal of the lot tbfttl

did i ever tell my story about hurleys here? i might have to search for the punchline.

regale us

a few years back a friend of mine was spending the summer in chicago on a student visa, and he said the area they were in was a bit sketchy, one of them got mugged in the first week or two by some locals.

anyway, apparently, next door to them were some irish guys who played a lot of hurling and would be practising out on the green area by the apartments. and some night they were coming in and got set upon by some guys who tried to get their wallets. a sort of fracas ensued and the guys used their hurleys to fend the lads off, and managed to do so, and maybe went a bit far, i don't know these guys so i can't really defend what did or didn't happen.

so a few hours later they got a knock on their door and it was the police, with the guys who'd tried to mug them. and one of them just looked at them and was like: "yeah that's the guys! fuckin big wooden spoons!"

http://hockeygods.com/system/gallery_images/7098/normal.jpg

could wreak international havoc with one o' them wooden spoons imo

came back from a holiday yesterday and jesus, the gatwick to london bridge train is pretty, pretty real.

London Bridge could easy rebrand as Gateway to The Real.

thames gateway gateway

Just went through Erith station. It features heavily staggered platforms and is located in a tree-lined cutting, through which only the occasional brutalist edifice is visible, as if concealed from the Kentish transients

UPDATE: oh my god Slade Green station is the realest place in Europe. GIS it you fuckers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opFoG_Mwu4I

Is Kilburn "real"?

http://trainwalkslondon.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/t25-slade-green-station_600x600_100kb.jpg

http://www.kentrail.org.uk/Slade%20Green%20station%202.JPG

http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/SME/html/NRE_SGR/images/photos/800/o3001-0000004.jpg

so beautiful

Central London realness:

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7348/9404428191_465e2abca3.jpg

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3706/9377318681_f3ce8a3881.jpg

Slade Green still has 3rd rail power supply for old EMUs

Gotta catch a tube to Theydon Bois tomorrow. Place does not look real at all, like some toytown world with Norman Tebbit as demiurge.

http://www.theydontennis.co.uk/tbltc2/images/Hist012-ExtendedOriginalClubhouse.jpg

The fuck is this place?

http://eflibdems.org.uk/en/image/5ldL01/278/282/how-we-voted-lib-dem-38-con-29-ukip-24-lab-5-green-3.png

fair play i guess?

I was in Collier's Wood the other night to sign a contract for a flat I can't really afford and don't think I want on Rye Lane...it was all far, far too real.

nothing's too real for an intrepid vice writer like y'self brah

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-41050457.html

My brother's trying to buy in Leytonstone, which was real when I lived there in 1999

Hurrah again. I now appear to have mobile access, at least around trafalgar, which I'm sticking to this afternoon given the weather. I just saw some hot all-girl harp action at st-martin-in-the-fields.

Exotic Dagenham! Now there's an idea. Thanks for the tip. I think Mary once warned me/everyone off the place, but my taste may be different?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 27 March 2006 13:02 (7 years ago)

istr ilxor Mary was always looking for British realness

http://f.cl.ly/items/0l0S2m2C1i2I3F043L0K/IMG_1706.jpg

Look at that

man represent for greater east asia co-prosperity sphere

http://f.cl.ly/items/1d231M103X3S2h2f3z2U/IMG_1882_2.jpg

the Alchemy of Realness - to take the Eastern Faith and make it as Real as the stucco terraces and transit vans it once sat so oddly among...

Bare-ly believable footage has been revealed of an angry naked man chasing a car in Hither Green and then attacking a punter at a nearby bookies.

The nude walker was spotted hanging out on Hither Green Lane and the video, apparently taken earlier this month, shows the occupants of a car baiting him with a series of vile abusive taunts, appearing to hurl a newspaper at him.

But they may have got more than they bargained for, as the camera then captures the man banging on their car before chasing them down the street.

http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/11169327.VIDEO__Angry_naked_man_in_Hither_Green/

http://i.imgur.com/z1oTkYP.jpg

Oh South London!
(Oh South London!)
Is wonderful!
(Is wonderful!)
Oh South London is wonderful
It's full of tit, Danny and Charlton
Oh South London is wonderful

(rpt)

http://i.imgur.com/JglWrCF.jpg

Fucksake that shd have read 'fanny' for the full cheeky misogyny realness blast

clive martin just went full realness queen

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/the-last-piss-up-at-the-admiral-mann

funny he hasn't turned up in the thread before, seems to be building a career mediating the real.

yeah idk he is often at his worst when giving it the knees up muvver brahn save our pie shops nonsense and better when he is sent on excursion to less real climes

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/a-big-weekend-out-inchelsea

I know we've kind of touched on it before, but mock Tudor/Edwardian detached houses on west London arterial roads feel definingly strange - faded mansion templates - bow windows, central porches, pediments, indicative of an attempt at suburban villa living - worn and partitioned, with front gravel or paved areas, multiple cars and lack of single-owner care telling the story of heavy internal partitioning, still sitting in gloomy isolated splendour on perma-lit dual carriageways.

City-worker-Johnathan-Ball-26-bit-brokers-nose-fight-spilt-drink-nightclub.html

theres a prurient appeal to reading about rutting city alphas in ec2 'venues'

http://i.imgur.com/1iOgufJ.jpg?1

Dress Code Smart/trendy; No ripped jeans, sportswear or trainers

http://gawker.com/bearded-welsh-hero-drinks-entire-bottle-of-jack-in-15-s-1630630450

Does this count?

REAL WALES

that a 70cl or a litre?

Looks like a fifth to me

nah any more than two'd have surely kilt him

-_-

outtake from lostprophets tour DVD

Well why would you expect some Japanese dude to know the difference between England and Wales anyway.

ya

initial thought was that being caught wearing a Mumford & Sons shirt debars one from realness of any sort but perhaps it is better that he dgaf

Perhaps it is the equivalent of ironically wearing a justin Bieber shirt?

misspelt iconically dude

Police were called to the South Norwood Leisure Centre in Croydon (bottom) after local residents reported seeing groups of people (top) surrounding a toddler and chanting 'Get the demon out'. Witnesses say they have seen groups of people shouting about 'releasing the spirit' during 20 minute ceremonies, which are said to take place between 4am and 6am. It is claimed that the child is told to 'stand still' in the centre of a circle while the group chant.

fuck those people for real. fuck

theres something slightly real about this article in which a homeless man willingly accedes to his presentation as something between an excrescence and an inherent threat

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/art/art-news/11124607/Homeless-man-locked-in-Tate-Britain-after-falling-asleep-in-the-loo.html

http://cl.ly/image/3A3x28282y0W/IMG_2594.jpg

lol that is some real falseness

which conversely makes it some real realness

the layers!

false media we don't need it do we

all these hipster scythists up in my grillpiece

...spelling 'barbecue' incorrectly, the heathens.

— B Q

i saw an absolutely enormous rat the size of a squirrel on borough high street yesterday. it was dragging half a hotdog along. popped into a cranny, then briefly re-emerged as if to parade its scavengings before my friend and i

― imago, Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Welling is home to a refurbished reference and lending library with an IT educational and training room, free use of Internet and toilets, a Masonic Hall, a Snooker Hall, Bellegrove Social Club and a Salvation Army Chapel.

The Age Concern pop-in parlour on Bellegrove road closed in May 2012 and is now based in the nearby Salvation Army Chapel (once a week meetings). The former Age Concern pop-in parlour has now become a boutique called Sevil's Boutique.

Welling is also home of the football ground of Welling United F.C. which is also shared with the Erith and Belvedere F.C.,

Park View Road ground, home of Welling United Football Club
Welling as a shopping area has plenty to offer to local residents and visitors such as several restaurants and take-away outlets, a range of fashion, sports, entertainment, a school of performing arts and IT shops, computer and laptop repair shops, electrical and betting shops, pawnbroker shops, charity shops, fast-food takeaways, cafés, tea shops and a pie and mash shop, estate agents, banks, a post office, bakeries, cycles, motor bikes and flower shops, pubs, fish and chips shops, barbers and manicure shops all lining Welling High Street (ancient Watling Street), Upper Wickham Lane, and Bellegrove Road and several local supermarkets, namely: Iceland, Morrison's, Shell (petrol station), Lidl and a well-stocked Turkish Food Centre (TFC).

On 8 November 2010 a new Tesco supermarket was opened, along with new apartments above the store.[2] The Co-op Superstore opposite (formerly operated by the Royal Arsenal Co-operative Society) ceased trading on 19 September 2008[3] and was redeveloped as a Morrison's supermarket that opened on 16 November 2009.[4]

A major upgrade of paving and street lighting was completed in the autumn of 2005. The retention or removal of a section of westbound bus lane from Welling High Street became one of the few specific local issues on which the main political parties disagreed in the approach to the local Bexley Council elections held on 4 May 2006. The incoming Conservative administration immediately revoked the bus lane.

The MECCA bingo hall in Upper Wickham Lane has ceased trading, apparently one of nine in England unsuited to operate after the national ban on smoking in public places.[8] This large building, which originally was an Odeon cinema is operating now as Freedom Centre International, a Pentecostal Church.

Rosebys, the Co-op and Tesco's old store all closed since 2007, as has the pub near Welling railway station (formerly the Station Hotel) lately known as "Inferno's" - which has become a Tesco Express.

Live music is performed occasionally at the Avenida restaurant and at "The Glenmore Arms pub".

New pavements in Welling shopping area have been installed by Bexley Council and the old pedestrian metal barriers have been removed. Welling Corner has been modernized with a new installation of 3 semi circular granite seats and a grass area has been added around the brick base of the Russian cannon from the Crimean War. (January 2014)

A new set of traffic lights have been installed in the Welling Corner junction (March 2014)

My first ever English non-league game was at Welling United - first time I ever saw supporters change ends at half time.

Live music is performed occasionally at the Avenida restaurant and at "The Glenmore Arms pub".

lol

Lots of overlapping in London and England realness threads re: Welling / Plumstead. Is this is epitome of ALL THAT IS REAL?

pretty much

every few months i look at nico hogg on flickr and hes still finding these photos that do not like they are taken in greater london but are

https://www.flickr.com/photos/nicohogg/14354745526/in/photostream/

kurdish grafitti in enfield

https://www.flickr.com/photos/nicohogg/15624489685/

Live music is performed occasionally at the Avenida restaurant and at "The Glenmore Arms pub"

In more football related memories I watched Blackburn beat Man U with two Shearer goals in that pub. 93-94 season.

I think it was a THOSE FUCKING ENGLAND FLAGS pub before that was really a thing.

clive martin does this, again

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/cutesters-and-london

The country came to the city and nothing was ever the same again – we were suddenly awash with workwear, technology renamed itself "tech" and decided it would rather look like Hello Kitty than The Matrix , pubs on the Seven Sisters road started charging £7 for a Scotch egg.

We might not know exactly what happened, but the change affected the reasons people came here in the first place, and was perhaps inspired by the wants of its latest batch of residents. Previously, people had sought out London for its grit. That was the basis of its myth. London might have been hard and nasty, livened up by the occasional IRA bomb scare, but with that came the South Bank warehouse parties, pirate radio, Millwall bricks, Cypriot cafes and the ICF. All the things we've come to festishise in the era of Virgin Active's playlist, the Chelsea megastore, the Deptford jobcentre, the IMF and that Giraffe on the South Bank.

Previously, people had sought out London for its grit

Who ever did this?

clive martin

A disappointed man :(

pubs on the Seven Sisters road started charging £7 for a Scotch egg

I'm not swallowing that.

fetishing "streets of rage haircuts" a bit rich when a few paras earlier he's banging on about infantilised people with cartoon character jumpers

Clive Martin was what, eight?, when the last IRA bomb went off, six when the ICF were burnt out?

has london become more polite and less nasty?

Certainly not more polite, that's for sure, and it was never nasty in the first place.

The historical unpleasantness seems overstated, the current politeness equally so.

The graffiti in the article's picture is partly in Russian, btw, so idk whether it was whimsical Home Counties types.

http://i.imgur.com/rxzr9tn.jpg

I know I'm in a thread called 'London Realness' so more fool me, but I fucking cannot fucking abide people who happen to live in London going on about living in London... and when I lived in Glasgow I could not fucking abide people who happened to live in Glasgow going on about living in Glasgow.

I'm not really yer man for civic pride tbh.

as in, people who think they have the right to pontificate about how a place should be and how every single other person who lives there's attitudes and experiences should exactly mirror their personal ideal? or just, people in london shouldnae bang on about london?

Both

otm

London might have been hard and nasty, livened up by the occasional IRA bomb scare, but with that came the South Bank warehouse parties, pirate radio, Millwall bricks, Cypriot cafes and the ICF. All the things we've come to festishise in the era of Virgin Active's playlist, the Chelsea megastore, the Deptford jobcentre, the IMF and that Giraffe on the South Bank.

People who were interested in that kind of thing moved here, those who weren't, didn't. Most who were born here either lived in that world, or the parallel one of Tatler, Tramp, Princess Di's ladies-in-waiting and an incredible detachment from the real world.

I don't know if Clive Martin was born here or not but the last paragraph shows how little he actually understands about what London was like in the 80s and 90s.

peter jones this evening was p real

monty the penguin is bigger than us all

There's some major false hairsplitting going on between the Innocent Smoothies types and the gak types as well, they're one and the same more often than not.

It's no great surprise that adulthood is being deferred when the core adult responsibilities (parenthood, home ownership and a 'career') are increasingly out of reach. It's not a London issue but one that is amplified by the degree to which those things are more out of reach in London than elsewhere.

there are so many fanciful errors or unfalsiable claims in that article that it scarcely seems worth enumerating them, its interest is in that narrative, however fictive, of a lost eden of glassings and barrow boys more than anything it says about reality

it's a lot like the complaints of new yorkers who long for the days of afrika bambatta and bernie goetz, even though london was probably not as interesting or tumultous as new york used to be, and certainly not as nasty

nostalgia for the vanished recent past is almost against urbanism, it's a sort of collapse back into a preservationist heritage village thought process, and yet the deproletarianization of inner and much of outer london is happening apace, not as a cultural process but as resettlement

the culture of the people replacing them is a confident one, whatever its vapidity

the culture of the people replacing them is a confident one

Isn't it always, the culture of the rich?

These articles, these narratives, are they being replayed in smaller cities as well? Or is London as it so often is, its own case

Yeah there's this odd doublethink going on here, railing against a retreat into the past while doing exactly that. Martin I'm sure is fully aware of the real reasons for the disappearance of London's working class from whole areas (or at least why they are becoming less visible). He shouldn't need to resort to a strawman Home Counties Waitrose social media manager.

London has always been the playground of the young and monied anyway, I think where things are different now is that people don't seem to be LEAVING London anywhere near as much, when they have kids or get married or whatever. There are whole areas that feel like thirty-something playgrounds now, with all the twee and faux-provincial affectations that come with that. There are loads of reasons for that - fashion, people having kids later in life, improved schools, immigration, changes in infrastructure, the housing market, but it's having a real and visible effect on the city as much as austerity is.

That started in the early 90s but has accelerated rapidly in the last ten years. There used to be a fairly well established cycle where people came to London because it was cheap and there were jobs, earned enough to buy a house with a garden in Kent or Essex and left, leaving cheap housing for someone else. The policy of encouraging gentrification was designed to get those people to stay permanently. Most of the reasons they're staying - an improvement in schools, an improvement in infrastructure, a reduction in crime, are broadly positive things in isolation.

ahem..
http://www.economist.com/news/britain/21635616-londoners-their-30s-are-moving-out-heading-north

Isn't it always, the culture of the rich?

― anvil, Monday, 22 December 2014 20:51 (58 minutes ago)

this is mostly true but also glib, confidence in display and enjoyment of wealth requires a strong and stable regime of property rights, sentimental support for it and a lack of idelogical restraint

so there are various examples where that has not been the case, from some instances of puritanism to the sub-fusc exteriors of synagogues in pre-enlightenment europe to scandinavia under the auspices of janteloven or to social democratic regimes with strong egalitarianism

threats to property rights from the state or from thievery are clearly at a low ebb and, absent demagoguery and futile exhortations against financiers, london is intensely relaxed about the filthy rich and the aspirant rich

though currently it is making them feel less rich all the time, someone who can afford the mortgage repayments on a £1m house might be wealthy in some objective measure but if they want to live in trad haut-bourgeois areas it might be in a cramped three bedroom house that would be a lower middle class home anywhere else in the country

not to mention that few of london's 334,984 junior waitrose social media managers are rich, exactly

Martin I'm sure is fully aware of the real reasons for the disappearance of London's working class from whole areas (or at least why they are becoming less visible).

Property developers? Im curious, and this goes for NY too, if the folk who originally lived in these now-gentrified neighbourhoods are leaving, where are they going? Staten Island? Croydon?

Don't about 'London's working class', but the 30 something exodus from London is to (in order of popularity): Birmingham, Bristol, Manchester, Nottingham, Oxford, Liverpool and Newcastle.

Many of these go-getters are former Londoners. According to the Office of National Statistics, a record number of 30- to 39-year-olds left the capital in the year to June 2013: a net outflow of nearly 22,000 (and a 25% increase on 2010). They have settled in Birmingham, which attracted the largest number, as well as Manchester, Bristol and Oxford. London has long shed people in their 30s.

does the ons track this in detail or is this just measuring net flows in different places and the economist concluding that 'largest number' of people settling in birmingham are mostly the same ones who left london

accompanying the article with a picture of the wacky selfridges that was trailed as a sign of provincial economic growth/embourgeoisement when it was built 11 years ago certainly helps their argument that bordesley is going to be the next dalston or whatever

http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/migration1/internal-migration-by-local-authorities-in-england-and-wales/year-ending-june-2013/sty-2---focus-on-london-moves.html

Michael, it's a pincer movement of rising rents plus austerity measures, chiefly benefit cuts but also the removal of the obligation for councils to rehouse people near their homes. They are mostly going to the less expensive outer suburbs but people are also being relocated to towns hundreds of miles away.

That's for poorer people, although middle class people with kids who can't afford more than a flat here are also leaving.

(x-post)

ONS flag that their data has its limitations as the main sources are registrations with GPs and people entering and leaving higher education.

Many people’s age at mid-2013 will have been one year older than when they moved. This will
have had particular impact at age 0 (approximately half of people who moved aged 0 will have
been aged 1 by mid-2013) and at student ages.

there is roughly net migration from inner to outer london, and most of london's migrants go to the home counties

net migration still from west midlands to london, there is a huge dataset of migration among regions by local authority by age and sex, so you can see how many 44 year old women moved from thurrock to bideford, not finding one for between regions

and then the degree to which this is different from 10 or 20 yrs ago

this movement from london and its periphery to the provincial cities is very interesting although it seems to be more of a trickle than a flood, at least now

http://vimeo.com/114266268

God that's appalling....I'm not sure what the worst part of that video is, probably the conclusion ("to look out at a city that could have swallowed you whole..."), but the world weary alienation in the wicker chair at 29 - 31 is also incredible.

London... hyper-realness?

Damn the video has gone. What was it?

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/05/tower-hamlets-psycho-housing-crisis-developer-redrow-ad

The Telegraph seem to have grabbed it, it's still available for viewing on their site:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/weirdnewsvideo/11324969/Watch-Strange-advert-for-luxury-London-flats.html

That's a trailer for High Rise right?

so glad this got picked up, it is really a remarkable document

Redrow is, you may recall, the company that installed so-called “poor doors” in its Tower Hamlets tower.

truly a remarkable document, lj and i have been thinking about it in some depth; for my part it is a damning indictment of the 'ballardian' dystopia that is now very, very real, whereas lj has advanced a novel reading of it inspired by the american author bret easton ellis' coruscating examinations of yuppie psychopathology

are u fuckin w me or

Like, I may be misreading you but I'm not sure that a "takedown of the takedowns" response is really the way to go on this one

tracer, you have ilx mail

the video is notable and this thread owes you a debt for posting it (if it hadn't subsequently been circulated everywhere anyway), but its value is in its pellucidity, it does not need require exegesis from cultural commentators, it's as direct as agitprop

at least that article contained some research about housing in london in 2015 as well as the same references to the same american films and shit dead writers of the 1940s and poor benighted jgb, which is more than can be said for most content about the epiphenomenal nonsense people get paid to be offended about due to 'twitterstorms' (this is in the guardian style guide now?)

like the 'poor door' shit....the possibly wounded pride of the few people who benefit from the govt mandated allocation of affordable housing (maybe not that affordable apparently) in expensive areas is not all that significant compared to all those people being evicted or suffering the other ills noted in that article, nor should it tell anyone anything that wasn't already apparent

the separate entrance is exactly what a developer would do when they are required to build two discrete sets of housing on a single site, when the gilded lot require burnished foyers, security, concierge service, and the others don't, why wouldn't they do this?

this is a soft left concessionary policy like keyworkerism finding its proper fulfillment under an ideology than doesn't care, sometimes doesn't even pretend to care, so the keyworkers become the new service class for the rich; possibly at some point they will get rid of the partition so that they can have direct access to the part where they replace other people's lightbulbs

if all of this is deplorable then it needs a certain about of political will to alter, these 'twitterstorms' possibly even inhibit that by creating a moral victory, a simulated climbdown by a developer who will probably find most of their units are being sold to foreign pension funds anyway and can save on the aspirational marketing

jesus christ that commercial is long

roxy I don't see it :(

try direct: tracerhand AT gmail

ok nakh sorry i mentioned the "poor doors" jfc

predictable twitterstorms that don't get to nub of an issue probly better than complete quietism on this sort of thing tho

shout out to spellcheck for redlining twitterstorm btw

I believe the preferred nomenclature is 'twusterfuck'.

what is the most stale/platitudinous response possible to the q in OP

u movin'?

what is the most stale/platitudinous response possible to the q in OP

Dagenham.

lol! xp

inner croydon a worthy competitor also

the separate entrance is exactly what a developer would do when they are required to build two discrete sets of housing on a single site, when the gilded lot require burnished foyers, security, concierge service, and the others don't, why wouldn't they do this?

The point is to make it unpalatable or impossible for the developers to do this, because of the many negative externalities engendered. That's why developers were not required to build "two discrete sets of housing", they were required to integrate affordable housing. The whole point of the thing is to work towards London's integration.

Horse, door, etc on that one, but a political will significant enough to disrupt the ideology you talk about isn't going to be built solely from neat positioning papers; it's going to need to include outpourings of emotion and anger. Moral victories have always been a key part of that.

sometimes developers argue successfully that incorporating affordable units will result in "design inefficiencies" because they require a separate entrance/core e.g. this p.o.s. proposed for a prominent shoreditch site http://www.building.co.uk/local-fury-over-amanda-levete%E2%80%99s-shoreditch-tower-plan/5018037.article which has an associated affordable block on a different site half a mile away on the other side of the tracks. it went down the pan and a new architect was hired and failed to get planning again in november, still with the separate affordable block.

I always mean to put affordable in inverted commas

"Efficient design demands the affordable flats be in Sevenoaks", ffs.

I only recently learned the definition of affordability, what a market-linked crock of shit *that* is, too.

oh yes, that affordability definition is so much shit. I lived off Baker Street for a while, and some flats were being planned for the area - the developers were seeing if they could split it into two separate developments to avoid the "affordable" (quite right, c) housing quota.

I'm kind of smirking at the overblown class conflict rhetoric surrounding developers putting separate entrances—or "poor doors"—in for the affordable housing bit, such as in this article http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jul/25/poor-doors-segregation-london-flats. I mean OF COURSE it's cynical, but...

- Developers are pernicious and greedy, it's unrealistic to expect them to behave as altruistically as, say, the government of a Scandinavian country.
- When presented with regulations, developers will skirt as close to the line as possible BIG SURPRISE.
- If the pernicious, greedy, status-obsessed potential buyer of a luxury flat would be turned off by using the same entrance as a "poor person" and would chose to buy a different flat instead... Well, that's a separate and more complex issue.
- Buyers of luxury flats have to live somewhere, presumably, I see fencing them off into their own little towers as an advantage! More space for the rest of us. Presumably, as in Ballard's High Rise, they'll end up flinging poop at each other and eating their dogs.
- Presumably there's nothing forcing regular—or "poor"—people from taking up residence in these developments. Personally I wouldn't want to live somewhere where a) I'd be constantly reminded of my own failure to own a luxury flat, b) I'd have any contact whatsoever with the owners of luxury flats. I mean, maybe I'd accidentally overhear a dinner party conversation through the walls or hear people having sex to a Sting or U2 CD being played on a Bose SoundDock or whatever. It's gross.
- I have to declare I'm not a Londoner and have no idea how bad housing shortage is for ordinary people. I lived in London like 15 years ago and it was expensive but there were plenty of flats to rent. I always went to see at least 3 or 4 before I found something I liked. In no way would I have taken a flat anywhere near any luxury flats or in a location frequented by individuals I suspected of owning or desiring to own luxury flats.
- Is this affordable housing legislation actually having the desired effect? Should it be revisited?

Buyers of luxury flats have to live somewhere, presumably,

Typically Singapore, Qatar or Moscow.

It's not as though affordable developments are springing up in addition to the 'luxury' ones and people can choose according to their budget.

Actually scratch that, I did live in Bethnal Green/Hackney for a while more recently, like 6-7 years ago, and I did actually really having access to the amenities brought by luxury flat owners. For a change I would go into the posh gastropub(s) in Broadway Market just to look at the women and drink pints without having to worry I'd end up beaten to death by a bunch of West Ham supporters. But I wouldn't eat the overpriced food instead I would go into the kebab shop on my way home.

It's not as though affordable developments are springing up in addition to the 'luxury' ones and people can choose according to their budget.

It's a fair point, and that's probably the spirit of the legislation, but I wonder if there might be a better way to achieve affordable housing?

I think fields of salmon it's not so much that people are aghast at the cynical and antisocial practices of developers but that this is the route we have chosen in order to supply affordable (which it is not) housing

e.g. essentially as a penalty or offsetting afterthought to the real business of non-affordable housing

London neighbourhoods by collective personality traits: http://www.citylab.com/housing/2015/01/what-your-personality-has-to-do-with-your-neighborhood/384462/
Interactive/detailed version: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11340079/What-your-London-postcode-says-about-your-personality.html

Southwest full of emotionally stable extraverts who are satisfied with life, far west and east less satisfied with life, inner London 'open' to experiences, west centre full of twats.

My neighbourhood appears to be pretty MOR/boring on most counts.

Possibly the wrong place for this. I've forgotten if we have a more general London thread somewhere.

https://twitter.com/search?f=realtime&q=tesco%20belvedere&src=typd

I spent half of my driving test sitting behind a bin lorry in Belvedere. For real.

http://i.imgur.com/ZcOyQue.png

reading Lewisham News Shopper coverage of S0nnex crime family instead of working

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/feb/24/the-city-that-privatised-itself-to-death-london-is-now-a-set-of-improbable-sex-toys-poking-gormlessly-into-the-air

i probably agree with what he says but i am so allergic to his tone that i can't read it

I feel like I've read that article literally hundreds of times by this stage.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d3/Phantom_Drophead_Coupe.jpg

Clive Martin @thugclive · Mar 2
A lot of the people complaining about the lack of affordable housing in London wouldn't actually live in it, if it came along.

Clive Martin @thugclive · Mar 2
Affordable housing would most likely have to take the form of what a lot of those people would call a "concrete monstrosity" or something

Clive Martin @thugclive · Mar 2
If you want the city lifestyle, then you've gotta be willing to accept urbanism and all it's hard, concrete ways. Otherwise move to Kent.

Clive Martin @thugclive · Mar 2
And yeah, people raising awareness of the very real issues is a great thing.

Clive Martin @thugclive · Mar 2
But, I wonder how many people have made a placard before even applying for council housing?

Clive Martin @thugclive · Mar 2
I'm not saying the buildings have to be shit. Le Corbusier, for instance, didn't make shit buildings.

Clive Martin @thugclive · Mar 2
But how many of Brand's Army actually fancy living in a pre-fabricated development in Beckton? Because that's where our solutions would lie.

Clive Martin @thugclive · Mar 2
No, everyone wants Zone 1, Edwardian houses, they want proximity to Farmer's Markets, highly performing schools like Stoke Newington.

Clive Martin @thugclive · Mar 2
It's untenable, there's 8 million people in this city and rising every day. We love our social media radicalism, but nobody wants to change.

Clive Martin @thugclive · Mar 2
And in the interest of full disclosure, I am one of the mugs paying 680 quid a month to live in Hackney.

always brings the lols when that guy suddenly gets all serious and 'advice to a young G' about shit

A whole £680!

I do occasionally wonder why the government isn't building more Edwardian houses.

Has he divulged rent/size ratio because 680pcm in Hackney seems pretty reasonable all in all - maybe he's in a windowless 'studio' tho.

Would be cheap for a windowless studio - i'd guess it's a room in a shared flat but, even then, that's not necessarily much for the area.

It's really the series of tweets before the Hackney punchline that matter, that manage to be both condescending and betraying of a profound misunderstanding of the situation.

I mean I get that he's preaching to a very defined congregation here, but everything is viewed through the same prism. A few farmer's markets and coffee shops opening isn't the fucking problem.

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/find.html?searchType=RENT&locationIdentifier=REGION%5E93953&insId=1&radius=0.0&minPrice=600&maxPrice=700&minBedrooms=&maxBedrooms=&displayPropertyType=&maxDaysSinceAdded=&sortByPriceDescending=&_includeLetAgreed=on&primaryDisplayPropertyType=&secondaryDisplayPropertyType=&oldDisplayPropertyType=&oldPrimaryDisplayPropertyType=&letType=&letFurnishType=&houseFlatShare=false

But what both groups do have is an interest in the real culture of the city, in its nightlife, its music, its fashions and its chaos. It's very easy to accuse any kind of change of being part of the gentrification cycle, and maybe there are elements of truth to that. But the fact is that cities need to stay cool to survive, they have to push forward to stop themselves becoming museums, and clubs are vital to that process. But the people ruling this city, the people moving into places on Holloway Road and complaining about People's, don't want nightclubs, they want coffee shops. They want to watch Wolf Hall, go to bed and have a few pale ales on a Friday night.

But London wasn't built on coffee shops and pale ale; it was built on innovation, tradition, integration and urbanism. You can get artisan foodstuffs in any First-World city on Earth, but you won't find another People's. It's a place whose specifics could only really exist in London, and yet the forces that are shaping the capital are trying to trample it in the rush to this city into Geneva-on-Thames.

so true re 'going to bed' - love that shit at the end of the day

^ part of the problem imo

His stance is moronic because it's neither here nor there whether a few 20-something middle class protestors want to live in brutalist Beckton housing. He can't see past the proverbial social media managers who are apparently the root of the problem, when this sort of gentrification is the symptom rather than the cause. There are reasons why virtually no social housing is built any more, and indeed why seemingly nothing other than yuppie flats is being built these days, that have very little to do with a few coffee shops or craft beer places opening on Holloway Road.

But, I wonder how many people have made a placard before even applying for council housing?

I was under the impression that if you don't have kids this is an immediate non-starter tbh.

This is really not the right thread for this but I note that while Cameron is talking about 200,000 starter homes for first time buyers he's adding an age limit of 40 as well for some reason, I assume at this point he's just doing it to troll me.

Whether they've applied for council housing or not has nothing do to with it, even assuming they're campaigning on their own behalf, enough social housing to meet the demand would lead to a significant drop in both private-landlord rents and house prices, but there are too many votes tied up in keeping the property market inflated for either potential government to risk that happening.

do people who don't want to go to bed even need a flat to live in?

build another coffee shop, stick 'em in there

they paved paradise put up a coffee shop amirite

very little to do with a few coffee shops or craft beer places opening on Holloway Road.

A decent pub would not go amiss. Is this the same tit who was banging on a while back about how people moved to London because it was gritty and dangerous?

Is the Coronet still there?

I said a decent pub!

xp Real London if there ever was, though I was in The Goose in Wood Green last night which has a similar thing going on.

Yeah, been there before too.

Terrible piece, from a skim there is a whiff of a Ballardian tone. Hate how his books are being turned into this tripe.

So what came first: the non-building of affordable flats or the craft beer pub?

idk I see them as going hand in hand. You build things roofs people can't afford and you also build the deranged 'lifestyle' around it too.

They aren't directly interlinked! London newbuilds as a safe haven for foreign capital (and banks refusing to finance housing construction that isn't pre-sold) has little to do with the changing nature of pubs or cafes. Okay some of the inhabitants of the former might be going to the latter, but I'd be surprised if they made up the majority of the clientele.

They are indirectly linked in that they push up the price of housing in existing middle class areas, leading to people moving out into other areas, but that has also been happening for generations. It has accelerated lately because a) there are more people living in London than any point since the 30s and b) there is less housebuilding going on now than virtually any time since the war. Additionally, London isn't getting any bigger and there is enough nimbyism around to make either building out or building up politically impossible.

A fair few of their customers are going to be people priced out of saving for a home who have no reason not to use whatever disposable income they have on enjoying themselves too. Attacking people buying luxury bread in Stoke Newington ignores the fact that many of them are living six-to-a-house with no communal space etc.

That's all fair enough - would be a push to make a direct link as I suppose many of the people who have lived in these areas for the past generation (or several) haven't as yet been completely pushed out(?) More that new people can't get in on a roughly modest income.

So... on that note... Foxtons is coming to Rye Lane in Peckham. I really didn't expect that even with the area being touted as the next big thing for the last year and a bit.

A 54-year-old man waiting at Catford Bridge station was assaulted by three men because he was wearing a top hat.

Police want to trace three men over the incident, which happened on February 28, just after 10pm.

According to officers, a trio approached the man on the Catford Bridge platform and asked if they could try his hat on.

He refused and boarded a train to Charing Cross, followed by the men.

On the train, one of the men approached the victim again before he was assaulted, suffering facial injuries, and had his hat stolen.

London: Gang attack top hat man who wouldn't share prized headpiece
International Business Times UK‎ - 14 hours ago

lol

Clean Bandit songs

omg that last anecdote

top hat man? was just laughing at it myself. it's the most evocative news story of all time.

have had maybe the london realest weekend ever - yesterday, a st george's day medieval fair w/ knights' tourney & falconers & today, cheering on the marathon runners outside maryon park as they sneak in to piss and piss and piss

one game bloke is trying to complete the whole thing with an 80 pound backpack

the stragglers got more, then less amusing. eventually they were chased by giant tractors

oh and after everyone had gone they were throwing 8-packs of buxton's into a refuse lorry so we made off with 40 bottles. one of the men dismantling the water station hurt his hand on a van door. a young father carrying a baby kicked loose bottles underneath the tyres of a lorry so that they'd explode as his daughter cried for him to come back. locals milled around. the occasional runner slumbered past, forlorn and solitary

I once spent a night tending the bar at Wimbledon greyhound track through a temp agency and had the satisfaction of the bar manager repremanding me for my lager-top technique only for some gangster type to chip in and deflate him with a "wots wrong with that fucking prick, the boy is doing it the right way" type response.

― xelab, Wednesday, March 11, 2015 12:58 AM

a st george's day medieval fair w/ knights' tourney & falconers & today

This sound preposterously fake btw.

that does sound a little bit real in a garry bushell sort of way but the rest of it does not seem appreciably real

trust that you took the knight's share of thine feudal bounty and chivalrously relieved thy gf of the need to carry 20 bottles of water back to thy castellated abode

lol obviously a medieval fayre in vauxhall pleasure gardens with fat men in armour hitting each other in front of bored children is the fakest thing ever

'real england/london' (w/e) is a self-appointing realness, absolutely garry bushell, am-dram england flag and harris hawk juxtapositions over pimm's - it is performative realness, an alchemical or accidental realness whose engine is the effort to be real. maybe i'll post some photos

what's not real about twenty people running into your local park at the same time to piss

carried 24 to her 16 m8 #shiningarmour

Celebrating St George's Day at all is an odd one in there's a realness to the sort of people who will absolutely insist on the existence of this complete non-tradition against all evidence to the contrary.

http://news.met.police.uk/news/man-sentenced-for-killing-deer-128247

suppose one should get terribly upset about this but it also seems quite impressive that he managed to find a wild deer in greater london, corner it and kill it with a knife

> also seems quite impressive that he managed to find a wild deer in greater london

richmond park is full of the things. and they are tame enough that you can walkt right up to them.

this would appear to be just a deer found in a field by a roadside, not a tame population in a confined area

On the same day, Shahid posted an update on a Facebook group called 'Deer Stalkers International'.

He boasted how he had killed a deer and "made a good meal for ten". Users of the group forwarded Shahid's post to police.

QED

in terms of harmful and idiotic behaviour it's easier to sympathize when it attracts full spectrum internet opprobrium from the brigitte bardot school of paranoid, vicious xenophobia crossed with dopy animal fetishism

idk if this is the right thread but about 10 SWAT cars just went thru marble arch rammed with special ops types heading for marylebone

http://thump.vice.com/en_uk/article/why-we-have-to-save-peckham-according-to-the-djs-who-play-there?utm_source=thumptwitteruk

The absolute state of this 'campaign'.

First wave gentrifiers outraged by the conclusion of the process they started in the first place.

"What's mad for me is the rate of change. East London had fifteen years of chaos and fun before it got to the way it is today. Peckham hasn't even had a chance to go through any of that"

Complete cultural wasteland beforehand obviously.

It feels so un-London - it's friendly, simple, uncomplicated.

Yeah, fuck London, amirite?

He's on to something with the rate of change bit. It's been amazing to watch how much Peckham has changed and how quickly.

But, yeah, all of that change has been at *someone's* expense. It's been rotten watching the people and businesses who were here when I got here getting pushed out, so feels bullshit of these guys to say "oh no, *that* amount of gentrification was fine, but no further, like!"

It's worth examining why the rate of change is so high in Peckham - you'd think places like Leyton or Stratford would see something similar there's not a single hipster coffee shop within miles of me (sadly; I like hipster coffee shops)

It had been trickling for a while, but I think the real starting gun was the Overground opening with trains direct from Shoreditch to Peckham Rye.

Interesting conversation at the weekend with guy who says the way, almost without exception, to solve poverty black spots is to run another bus line from there to somewhere good. Transport has such a huge effect and is often overlooked area of social policy.

All that said, Stratford is rammed with links now so uh

One thing that irritates me about this latest 'campaign' is that every source I've seen report it has apparently completely failed to review a single planning document associated with the proposed development. They've just heard 'luxury flats next to Bussey' and gone into panic mode.

A look through the design and access statement and acoustics report indicates the architectual/design team has given pretty decent consideration to the noise issues people are complaining about. Bedrooms are located away from areas of highest noise, there's extra glazing, units have 'mechanical ventilation', and proposed 'winter gardens' would give another layer of noise protection. Even ignoring Bussey, this building is located on a busy high street next to train tracks. It's going to be noisy no matter what, and surely anyone concerned about noise wouldn't move here to begin with. Perhaps the developers could look to do a 'deed of easement' whereby residents aren't allowed to complain about Bussey noise - that was one solution implemented when Ministry of Sound went through a similar thing with the Eileen House development a few years ago.

I get that other venues have been and are being lost because of this sort of thing, but it's frustrating that hardly anyone is even trying to look at this critically by engaging with the actual proposals.

I do wonder if the developers and council maybe failed to engage Bussey owners and other affected businesses in the early stages, though. If they'd consulted more thoroughly would any of this be an issue?

And regarding the "independent shops, churches and community spaces that would all be affected by these plans" as noted in the article... the proposal includes community space and provides more commercial/retail units than the current setup. I think the community space is at the basement level though, which may not be ideal.

Tracer I think there is a hipster coffee shop now on Leytonstone High Rd? - or at least a hippy coffee shop. It's called All you R3ad is L0ve.

I saw one on my way to/from the Red Lion recently.

They closed the Streatham Greggs and turned it into a hipster coffee bar.

London realness in a nutshell.

http://static.standard.co.uk/s3fs-public/styles/story_large/public/thumbnails/image/2015/11/26/14/house1.jpg

Barnes yesterday...It's tough in the basement wars...http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/38million-house-duffy-lived-rules-6906251

Also Notting Hill earlier in the year

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2934601/Basement-rage-did-impresario-started-building-mega-den-5m-home-irate-duchess-countess-leading-socialite-feelings-run-deep.html

There's a definite (South) West London realness to that first one. Somewhere out there in Kensington and Chelsea there's a West London Clive Martin who has narrowed his entire output to harrumphing about giant basement extensions.

Interesting conversation at the weekend with guy who says the way, almost without exception, to solve poverty black spots is to run another bus line from there to somewhere good. Transport has such a huge effect and is often overlooked area of social policy.

All that said, Stratford is rammed with links now so uh

i guess peckham or hackney or clapton actually have a lot of nice houses, dunno if this is true for stratford, right?

That's definitely a key factor, it's the main reason Brockley went through the roof after the Overground opened. It had been a bit rough round the edges throughout most of my childhood but a lot of the houses were fantastic.

Stratford had/has a few but it's changed dramatically in 10 years (when I lived there) for obvious reasons - several more high-rises make it feel increasingly like a mini-city. It always felt further out than it really is but everything above and below it would be cheaper and just as close to things.

BFFs grandmother owned freeholds for a lot of places in Hackney, Dalston, Peckham, Camberwell and possibly Brockley - all built up around the same time and intended as middle-class areas, but by the time they were hers, those areas were declining because people were moving further out of London.

I think that standing on Camberwell Green and turning around would probably give you the starkest picture of gentrification anywhere in the capital, face south and it's full on organic bakery territory, look up towards Walworth Road and it's much the same as it's been for 20 years, except with a load more payday loan places. The density of WW2 bombing was a lot higher on the north side and that's still having an effect on the city today.

Camberwell Green has also got the Future Cities Catapult (technology centre) right next to the church, helping to 'transform cities on a global scale'.

As a place, Camberwell Green certainly feels like the centre of the global city zeitgeist.

Hang on - I'm posting crap, as ever - it's in Clerkenwell Green.

Camberwick Green iirc

wat if trumptonshire modarn day? fire brigade get closed down by boris and lord belborough opan cerial cafe

It has a large green space which is the centre of a gyratory. Very close to the combined railway station and Tramlink terminus bearing its name is the old sewage farm. The remains of this industrial site can still be seen. The sewage works is thought to be contaminated with heavy metals and is therefore unfit for building houses. The sewage farm has been converted into a country park (South Norwood Country Park), but many of the locals still know it as the sewage farm. The park falls within the boundaries of the London Borough of Croydon.

The former industrial estate on the south side of the railway track has closed down: it used to house the Muirhead and Twinlock factories, and can be seen from the air here. The companies vacated the sites and it remained derelict until the mid 1990s when Tesco built a new superstore. The former Bolloms paint factory site, on the opposite side of the road has been redeveloped into an industrial estate.

Elmers End station is a terminus for Tramlink services to Croydon as well as being on National Rail between London, Charing Cross and Hayes, Bromley.

The main Beckenham crematorium is situated between South Norwood Country Park and Birkbeck. Also known as Elmers End Cemetery, it contains the final resting places of such notable people as W.G. Grace, Frank Bourne, Thomas Crapper, Jerzy Wołkowicki, William Stanley and George Evans (VC) who won a Victoria Cross in 1916.[1]

^^^ Elmers End

also my grandma, RIP. Didn't know WG was there as well.

While the park is within the borough of Croydon, Da End itself is part of Bromley I think.

Real as opposed to what - virtual?
Or authentic and if so to what? Doesn't that imply an imposed standard which itself may be a little manufactured/fictional?
& if you can't put your hand through it is it therefore real?

Just had my watch ripped off my wrist this evening in Notting Hill, in what may be London's most gentrified street Is this UK's most gentrified street?

Reported it to the police station feeling a little like Mark from PeepShow.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/04/11/world/europe/uk-london-brexit.html realness talk

xpost to self:

Bacame a crime stat...

Robbery:
Includes offences where a person uses force or threat of force to steal

Current status:
Investigation complete; no suspect identified

https://d26dzxoao6i3hh.cloudfront.net/items/201i062G1U2f081R0E1v/Image.jpg

https://dzwonsemrish7.cloudfront.net/items/3I2J0P1K2Z0O16253x0k/knives.png

People I’d like to let loose without security in the middle of a London endz battle, because it would ~unite the mandem~ and we’d be well rid: il Douché.

has someone told him that The UK Knife Lobby and in general Knife Politics are not a strong voice over here!

Guns don't kill people, knives do.

you what mate

https://www.msglondonconsultation.com/

That is batshit even without considering the stadium round the corner and the O2 not far away.