25 rules for living from a semi-successful 26-year old

Not included: Dogs rule cats drool

Where do I vote for "bros before hos?"

where do i vote for "more like 6 year-old"

oh wait this guy thinks he's a big deal?

what the fuck

what's this coda?

Hopefully they save you some trouble. And I guess, the message, at the end of the day, is that it’s never too late.

to get invited to cool private parties in your area, and the chance to win a four-person trip to a mystery city for an an exclusive Patrón summer party.

is it venice

Probably somewhere in Colorado

who are these people

That beins said, people who constantly correct pronunciation mistakes are indeed vile.

to mangle a quote, he's not consistently wrong, but he is consistently an asshole

xp "being"

idk I thought it was nice that even though this whole thing comes of douchey, some of his rules are actually about how not to be too douchey

i like this kid. i cut a huge line at airport security the other day and it felt amazing.

voted "You should be ashamed"

it's weird that he tells you to cut in line but also not to recline your seat on an airplane

Eat at the same place every day for instant VIP status

cannot fault this tbh

I bet this kid doesn't even lift

xp well except a) it wouldn't be instant and ii) who wants to eat at the same place every day?

agreed on taxi cabs/ stairs and parking spots

everything else = this kid needs a punch in the nose

also no one is impressed if you carry a book around

Meetings are dumb, mostly

The top rated reviews on his "best selling" book (the 66,121st FASTEST selling book on Amazon.com!) are pretty brutal:

http://www.amazon.com/Trust-Me-Lying-Confessions-Manipulator/dp/1591846285/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371743521&sr=8-1

Pfft if you dont wanna speak a foreign language then dont, but getting pissy about getting called out on mangling it is a loser look

The best way to attract women is to catch tuberculosis? trains? tentacool?

this guy sounds like he's 26

Dmac otm

The one about running in new places.

20-something douchetrepreneurs with book deals are the most disgusting savages

should I be voting for the one which most enraged me or the one I actually agree with?

'semi-successful'

Don't recline on airplanes. Economics!

#grocerybag

26-year-olds aren't "kids" btw

he's pretty childish imo...

but you're right. which makes his douche 'tude all the more embarassing

"only small people"
only go to a meeting "if the person is more important or successful than you"

fuck you, mister

signed,

one of the small people

(punches monitor)

Ignore anyone who wants to talk about their life

u got it son

Haha

can we circle back to this little treasure of a man when he's 52 and see how he's doing with this life rules?

if you're writing rules for living when you're 26, it's because you're stupid

Now that I think about it, they didn’t really teach much how to do a lot basic things either. I’m not talking about how to fix a flat tire or how to change your oil–you can pay someone to do that. This is embarrassing but I remember checking into my first hotel as an adult, during college probably, and getting assigned to room 1214 or something and actually thinking for a second: “How am I supposed to know what floor that’s on?” All I’m saying is that it would have been really nice if one of my parents, during the several dozen times we’d stayed in a hotel as a child, had taken two seconds to say, “Hey six year old, this is how this whole system works.” You know, instead of hoping I observed everything (which in the case of the elevator thing, I probably should have but clearly did not).

apparently even complete and utter dipshits can be successful

omg he linked his Wikipedia entry

this is the world we live in

I've done and continue to do way stupider things than that hotel room thing in my adult life. I think (hope) I'm not as much of a jackass as this guy is, though.

i cut a huge line at airport security the other day and it felt amazing.

― sleepingbag, Thursday, 20 June 2013 15:57 (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

probably a safer option than trying to smuggle it onto the plane, good call

voted 'ashamed' w/o looking at any of the others, incidentally

lool mencap

during the several dozen times we'd stayed in a hotel as a child

After you’re done eating at a restaurant, just hand the waiter your card. You don’t need to see the receipt first (99% of the time it’s right and if it isn’t–it’s their fault. Send them back to fix it). Also, there’s no need to calculate the tip. I just enter the final number I’m paying. I’m paying them, they can do the math for me. (Provided you actually tip well.)

so let's dissect this a little:

- It's better to have an incorrect charge on your card reversed than to not have it put on in the first place. Okay dude, tell me how that works out for you when you're trying to pre-qualify for a loan.
- You don't need to calculate a tip in order to leave a tip, just write a number and everything magically works itself out. Or, you know, do what everyone else does and move the decimal point one place to the left and divide the result in half; this is basic grade school math we're talking here, fucking get over yourself.

The parking advice is solid, the rest not so much

Move to the other lane, sometimes

^ srsly pls do this

haha yeah that is absolutely critical advice tbf

More wood behind fewer arrows.

Or, you know, do what everyone else does and move the decimal point one place to the left and divide the result in half; this is basic grade school math we're talking here, fucking get over yourself.

in my experience lots of people have no idea how to do this. the check arrives and out come the calculator apps. (i had typed "out come the phones", but of course they were already out.)

do what everyone else does and move the decimal point one place to the left and divide the result in half;

i hesitate to even bring this up, but doesn't this result in a shitty tip?

assuming djp just left out the final step and does not leave 5% tips

unless the assertion is that 15% is a shitty tip in which case we need to make a hard turn to starboard, don't worry about scylla

pre tax or post tax?

no, I apparently don't know the difference between dividing in half and multiplying by two (I meant the latter)

Agree with the running in the city.

Also don't recline on airplanes.

my preference is 15% pre-tax (which is where the divide by 2 comes in; you slide the decimal point and add half to the result) but I've had so many arguments with my wife about it I at this point have just said "fuck it" and do 20% on whatever the total is

I just round the bill up to the nearest number divisible by 5, then divide by 5 and add that. yes I routinely tip 20%

DJP has been a miserly tipper for years because of a simple misunderstanding

my preference is 15% pre-tax (which is where the divide by 2 comes in; you slide the decimal point and add half to the result) but I've had so many arguments with my wife about it I at this point have just said "fuck it" and do 20% on whatever the total is

― DJP, Thursday, June 20, 2013 12:54 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wait what? Wouldn't it make more sense to do 20% pre-tax or 15% of the total?

the impetus behind this piece kind of addresses something i've heard before many times though in that the theory goes, rich or successful people teach their kids to be successful while unsuccessful people can't, thereby perpetuating the classes. this kid feels like his parents let him down with the elevator thing or w/e, but i'm sure they taught him to be looking out for number one in many other ways that carry through to what some of y'all perceive as assholish behaviour. can articles like this, let's say theoretically much better articles if you are wretching at this one, do anything to remedy that? or is the idea of personal success just too absurd and gross now for most people that anything that relevant to that subject is like 'no thanks'

don't make me spell out the convoluted an irrational history of tipping arguments I've had with my wife on the internet

i usually do 20 because the math's easier but sometimes i do the punitive drop to 15. that's how much of a hardass i am

xp

ah yes, the "rich dad, poor dad" fallacy

Rich people don't "teach" their kids to be successful, rich kids are successful because they are rich.

fwiw dude is also completely OTM re: lines, there's no need for any of that shit

little treasure of a man

LOL

xp well i'm not just talking about the idle rich, is there no such thing as a 'tip for success' besides 'be born into privilege'

This guy is such a beginner. But I'll bet he's already thinking about writing his memoirs.

I'm sure a lot of successful parents impart the habits of highly effective people to their kids and all, but little of that has as much impact as getting to go to the right schools, being around the right people, having infinte extra lives when you fuck up, etc.

having infinte extra lives when you fuck up is the real key I think

i guess. so no one who doesn't have all to begin with that should bother to seek advice from successful people? and successful people should just keep their methods and strategies to themselves?

not trying to call this kid my role model or anything, just can't imagine 'rules for living from a successful anything' to go over much better

Yeah willing to bet that if I was as much of a boorish cunt as this guy clearly is I'd be even less successful, not more

tbf, this guy sounds like the guys in Liar's Poker, iow someone granted massive privilege at a young age, but now straining every nerve to match the "success" of the sociopaths above him.

i don't see the part where he's a cunt tho, he owns up to being young and not knowing everything right away in the piece, gives his accomplishments to allow you the chance to decide whether he's someone you want to listen to, and the list itself is somewhere between common sense and personal opinions that could be anybody's. my point was i don't understand the vitriol.

does what I am about to eat even remotely resemble something my ancestors evolved to eat?
No bugs, no credibility

whos this fucking idiot?

i don't understand the vitriol

dear me, anyone who consistently refers to "plebs" and "small people" as part of his natural vocabulary is a cunt. <-- Rule for living.

I'm kind of trolling but I'm going to say that there ARE no useful, teachable rules for success at anything if you rule out "infinite extra lives" stuff. The only way to move up in whatever system you're talking about, in any increments (even if small), is to be unusually smart (more so than your competitors) and be unusually knowledgeable/perceptive/intuitive about the system (more so than your competitors) and also be very lucky at one or more points. You can put "hard work" in there somewhere if you're feeling very Puritan today but more and more I feel like "hard work" as a virtue is largely meaningless.

Of course you can't teach those attributes to ppl who don't have them and there's no money in sending petitioners home, so instead there are millions and millions of rules for success at every possible thing that you can have in return for your dollaz.

xp uh those were paraphrased by frogbff from what he actually wrote

there's no plebs in the article and the only 'small people' is

Never correct someone’s pronunciation of a word with the more appropriate ethnic accentuation. Only small people care that much about grammar or pronunciations.

which is so otm that its name is tom otm

That rule for living obv applies to frogbs then.

Xp i disagree with in orbit. ppl get into bad habits and sabotage themselves. if they could change their behavior they can do better in all areas of their lives. also, "presentation" and other superficial bullshit matters in terms of how people are perceived and treated at wirk, school, etc. and you can do tons of things to improve how you come across. most people are smart enough, i feel, to be successful professionals... That is not really the issue.

That said, down with capitalism, worldly "success" is useful financially but beyond that doesn't mean all that much in terms of how satisfying your life is etc.

i don't see the part where he's a cunt tho

hes not really a cunt hes just super lame

i feel like what in orbit wrote is the core message of the republican party, that there is one group of 'doers' who have an obligation to keep the country going and the rest of ppl are kind of deadweights looking for a handout. maybe the problem is indeed capitalism. but as long as i live in this system i'm going to try to get ahead in it!

... the *US* republican party, duh

Idk. I think horatio alger myths are at the core of the republican party and anti-success ethos is anti-capitalist and sort of subversive almost. That said, i think in orbits comment was inaccurate wrt to how things work/the relevant factors involved in "getting ahead"

I would say more that it's messed up that people are smart at an infinite number of things and in different ways but we only measure success by like 5 of them so everyone in the race (which is, like, everyone?) is trying to compete for those 5 things because those are the only options where you can amass enough resources for health and safety and security for you and your dependents.

most 26-year-olds are indeed "kids" btw

http://www.ryanholiday.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/header1.png

they might act like kids but they are in fact grown-ass adults

I would agree with that. Thats like my mantra; i always argue with ppl who use the word "smart" in a one dimensional way, especially my students.

I say that as a sad man living in perpetual adolescence xpost

Sorry my last post was xp to in orbit

Dr morbius otm. I am 24 and i'm a kid, in my view.

like i said, maybe capitalism is the actual problem people have with all this. which isn't this kid's fault iirc, etc

How do they figure tips for servers at the end of the night? Does the manager go through all the receipts and add up the tip lines? Or does he add up the net total and balance it out with the extra leftover?

most people are smart enough, i feel, to be successful professionals... That is not really the issue.

There are a bunch of problems with this statement. I don't know if I can find all of them, but...

1. The minimum standards for being a "successful professional" are like, have a boring, white-collar job that pays at least enough to keep your head above water even if your mortgage is underwater, even if you pretty much hate what you have to do all day, and regardless of where your real talents lie. Those are shitty standards.

2. In this economy even if you exceed all the minimum requirements for being a successful professional you may not be able to find work, good work, work in your field, enough work, ANY work.

3. It's not that presentation, demeanor, that mysterious quality called "professionalism" are nothing, it's that privileging them as the reason people do or don't get jobs is misleading in that it blames the victim and allows everyone else to feel like it won't happen to them because they have more of some ineffable quality that will protect them.

4. The presence of absence of those qualities in any given person is largely subjectively determined by whomever is judging them.

*OR absence

Otm in orbit. I don't think our society is fair or that it privileges the right things or that " success" is worth it. But i think ppl can learn to do well in business or whatever if they want to, and make a point of adapting their behavior toward that goal. It won't always work out, but a lot of times it can.

2. In this economy even if you exceed all the minimum requirements for being a successful professional you may not be able to find work, good work, work in your field, enough work, ANY work.

well if this is how things are, doesn't it make a case for keeping an eye out for ways to cut lines, be 'that guy/gal', etc?

Pragmatically, yes, but dont expect ppl to like you for lowering yourself to our fucked up system. Theres dignity in not being a cutthroat competitor. Or at least i think so

well that's the difference between successful people and not right there imo, successful ppl say 'fuck whoever doesn't like what i'm doing'

Maybe.

This guy is clearly a cunt, as he doesn't like cats. Fuck him.

truthbomb

The line-cutting thing is pretty douchey. The negotiation thing sounds idiotic but I freely admit to having close to zero experience with business meetings. I don't understand the tipping thing. I don't see why our ancestors wouldn't have eaten corn or soy. I'm genuinely curious what this guy's diet is like. Otherwise, most of these are whatever.

i think it's weird that he calls negotiations sociopathic and then tells you to cut in line because people will be too confused and intimidated to object

Truly weird.

I find the first one odd, "if you tell others, you probably won't do it"? That's the opposite of my experience...when I went on a mission to lose weight, I told everyone! Because I didn't want anyone to say (or just think to themselves), hey, wasn't that guy supposed to be a bit thinner by now? If you create a resolution in your head it's so much easier to just go, "naaah"

Yeah, I didn't get that either. Why you would be more likely to stick with something if you don't tell people about it?

Didn't realise until now that the poll options aren't direct quotes. OG article is mostly sensible, though I'm pretty sure everyone here could come up with a list of mostly sensible "rules for living". This is false though:

Public speaking is only hard or scary if you don’t think you know what you’re talking about.

And the cat-vs-dog, don't-read-the-news, don't-travel stuff is just personal disinclinations dressed up as advice.

i think the "don't tell ppl your plans" advice is a personal thing. i don't like to disclose my plans/goals/aspirations to people for the most part because then i feel like i need to get them to be enthusiastic about it or else my plan is illegitimate... like it puts me in a place where i need to justify my goals to myself before i can move forward on them. it's hard to explain. but i think that was good advice for some people.

Yeah, this guy does not understand public speaking anxiety.

Cutting lines and not automatically being in the slow lane unless actively passing a slower vehicle make you an uber-cunt and would be grounds for summary execution in my dictatorship.

Are we voting for best actual advice or the most egregious example of this dude being full of shit? I guess I went with the latter but he's OTM about meetings being mostly useless.

I drive slow in the fast lane all the time. Feels great.

YOU MUST DIE

sorry, that came out wrong

what I meant was YOU MUST DIE HORRIBLY

How has nobody mentioned the reading the news thing (I think, because I skimmed the thread)?

If it doesn't directly affect you, or you can't use it to appear intelligent in conversation you don't need to know about it?! WTF this thinking is why us Americans are self-centered isolationists.

I find the first one odd, "if you tell others, you probably won't do it"? That's the opposite of my experience...

Actually I read some reports on studies that suggested this is true. Or at least, 'the people being studied were less likely to work at their goals when they had confided in another person' or something like that.

I read similar reports but I can't find them now.

yeah i actually think it's great advice.

The thinking might go "I've told my friend X and he congratulated me so I feel pretty good already, maybe I won't feel much better if I put all that work in so fuck it"??? Dunno.

that thing's just basically like if I tell everyone I'm writing a novel, and then feel good about being known as being a novel-writing guy, then I get super lazy and never finish that novel I guess.
I feel that I am aware of similar forces in my life. I agree with that one.

xpost

xps yeah read that same thing somewhere and I've experienced it in my life too. i really think there's a lot of good advice in here. the dog vs cat thing is just a manner of the practical differences between owning a dog and cat, you take your dog out on walks or to the dog park every single day and you run into people you wouldn't have otherwise, often repeatedly. one of my friends met his pretty serious gf of a couple years at the dog park almost immediately after getting his dog. doesn't happen with a cat. not a matter of one being a better animal.

tbf, it makes sense that people want to hate this guy because according to wikipedia he rose to prominence as the marketing strategist for that shitbag date rapist tucker max

"Want to" hate

It says a lot about me that the cat/dog thing is what got me angry

fuck that guy, what a tool

What got me angry was the tone, all of this would have been ok if it wasn't so serious.

Holiday has been the Director of Marketing for American Apparel since age 21 and is an advisor to founder Dov Charney.[5][7]

This dude -- who, let's not forget, co-wrote a book with Tucker Max -- interviewing and selecting teenage girls to work for AA: the interview, *cough*, process would be a feminists' nightmare.

AA models get paid a $50 fee -- which I've seen this guy defense elsewhere, saying the woman should be happy to be selected and that the prestige perk of having been a AA Girl is what they're getting -- and the interview process is something super sleazy. A friend of mine took her girlfriend to a AA audition in Malibu or something, and it was profoundly casting-couch sketchy. Her friend disappeared with some other girls for over an hour, having gone somewhere else in the house, and when they call came back everything had been done, from the audition to the shoot.

Uh, are they asked to merely pose in sleazy ways or is it literally beyond that?

[*] Current events/the news should be followed only if it fits one of the following criteria 1) It directly affects you in someway. 2) Knowing about it would make for interesting conversation. If you’re watching something and you can’t tell yourself that you either plan to do something with that information or it will make you seem smart, turn it off. Or flip it over to Comedy Central because you may as well be watching pure entertainment.

seriously fuck this, not so much the specific advice (i don't think everyone needs to follow politics or w/e) but the premise that you should only be interested in things that directly affect you.

That's not what he means, though. He means to "get ahead" in life you should ignore the news, unless it helps you in some way. I don't think he means ignore the news forever.

This is kind of awesome Speaking of which, people are constantly trying to bribe you to be like them and take on the same burdens as them. DO NOT ACCEPT.

Evan: from what the girl said she felt so weirded out by the experience that she couldn't ask her friend what happened during the hour, but the implication was that more than photoshooting happened. That the vibe was Chatsworth-esque and porny.

Approx half his advice is absolutely fine and sensible, and the other half is absolute cockfarmerishness of the highest order. And the two halves contradict: don't recline your seat, but never go to a meeting with someone junior because YOU won't get anything out of it? How did YOU get where you are, dickhead?

Director of marketing for AA is pretty much the designated target of evil.

I have to tell people my plans if I want to do them! If I only have myself to answer to I do sod all. Also traveling for the sake of it is brilliant fun, fuck you you joyless capitalist.

Evan: from what the girl said she felt so weirded out by the experience that she couldn't ask her friend what happened during the hour, but the implication was that more than photoshooting happened. That the vibe was Chatsworth-esque and porny.

― Cunga, Friday, June 21, 2013 1:16 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

:( creepy

That's not what he means, though. He means to "get ahead" in life you should ignore the news, unless it helps you in some way. I don't think he means ignore the news forever.

― copter (waterface), Thursday, June 20, 2013 5:00 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm not sure how willfully ignoring knowledge of events beyond your daily life is helpful for you.

That's ironic.

Neither ignoring nor paying specific attention to events outside of your daily dealings can be said to be definitively a help or hindrance.

can we just put an end to this phenomenon that anyone who has ever been satisfied with a decision they've made declares it a "rule"

that should totally be a rule

"here are some things i do that i'm pretty smug about" uh huh ok, good job i guess

Deciding to not pay attention if it doesn't affect your daily life is a bad philosophy, and if isn't decided case by case, it is a "rule".

"hi i'm 26 and my frontal cortex has only recently fully developed, let me tell you what i've learned about life" NOPE

How the hell did he get hired as director of anything at 21?

By willfully ignoring knowledge of events beyond his daily life

He carried a book

so... semi-related:

the other day i was having lunch with pretzelwalrus and the couple next to us were on what appeared to be a first date. the guy was uh, probably 25, and he was v v similar to this list-writer. he said things like
"i'm going to be a millionaire before i'm thirty." and "i think resource-sharing is the future."

What he meant by the latter was that he was going to start a service whereby you could utilize a closet full of fancy clothes for a nominal fee per week/month/year/whatever. like zipcar, for fancy clothes. to wear to a party or something. pretzelwalrus pointed out that this was the same idea that Tom Haverford had on the hit sitcom Parks & Recreation. He exuded arrogance and egocentrism. totally gross. i don't think the woman he was with was into it. she seemed maybe 10 yrs older and occasionally he would ask her questions about "dharma" or something and then interrupt her to try to tell her how it is.

he had several pouches/fanny packs on; i noticed this when he stood up to go to the bathroom.

when the waitress brought their leftovers, the box said "pizza." he said "they mis-spelled pizza!"
this is a joke, because being a middle eastern joint they serve "pitzas" (as listed on the menu.)
waitress just kind of looked at him and smiled a little bit. when she walked away he said "took her a minute to get that one."

DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE. he totally ruined lunch for zack.

i wish i could remember more of the awful things he said.

he had several pouches/fanny packs on

never ever sit at a table with anybody who does this fyi

waitress just kind of looked at him and smiled a little bit. when she walked away he said "took her a minute to get that one."

i want to find all the people like this and give them a big boisterous bear hug before shooting them behind the ear

yesterday was first date night I guess. I was next to a finance bro type yammering on to his date about gastropubs and how he knew all the best gastropubs and you're gonna love his friends, they're great guys, the gastropub is going to be great tonight, you'll love it.

that's pretty unrelated I guess, but he probably talked about rules for living later on I bet

"only go to the best gastropubs"
"if your date doesn't enjoy the gastropub, she's not going to fit into your life."

i've wasted my life counting frequent flyer miles, pity me

he had several pouches/fanny packs on

I may never recover from this

the word "gastropub" makes me picture a bunch of quatorzesque nobility sitting around eating and farting and vomiting

i really hate the prefix "gastro" in general and even the word gastronomy, but especially "gastropub

"hmm, it's a second date, I guess I'll keep it down to only three fannypacks? which three though..."

Never recline your seat on an airplane. Yes, it gives you more room–but ultimately at the expense of someone else. In economics, they call this an externality. It’s bad. Don’t do it.

vs

If there is a long line and you don’t want to wait in it, walk up to the front (or walk through the back or opposite way) and pretend you didn’t know you were doing things incorrectly. It almost always works.

pretend you didn’t know you were doing things incorrectly. It almost always works.

A+ douchebag consciously abusing other people's good nature and their desire to be helpful.

Get a dog, not a cat. One will make you a better person, the other is just an animal that lives in your house.

can't even begin to

It's true, though.

not really

Being responsible for another living creature does make you a better human being. Or you could have a cat.

i hear hitler liked dogs

glenn greenwald, too

You are the worst lawyer. Case dismissed.

*bangs gavel*

*bangs yr Mom*

you are kinda proving my case for me

I'm not a dog, Counselor. You're in contempt.

People who own dogs would never dare act this way!

feel bad for his dog, tho

on the internet, nobody knows you're wearing three fanny packs

Yes, this dog/cat dichotomy is such nonsense. One way or the other you're gonna be picking up their excrement. Just depends whether you prefer to do it in public or in the privacy or your own home.

idk I really do think dogs make people better and nicer and life more fulfilling except for people who are mean to their dogs but they're just assholes with no hope.

Well to provide an anecdote my cat is very cute and loving and attentive so she provides an exception. Though she did knock over a plant this morning.

your cat is negging you

Cats are different than dogs. *news flash*

She chews on the leaves and probably tried to rip one off.

Dogs do that kind of stuff too though. The difference is, cats are fucking insane. Dogs are fucking insane too. But they know it.

it's hard for me to say what the experience of owning a cat is like as i've never had one. having a dog does make you a better person though.

Michael Vick concurs.

He's one of those assholes with no hope.

Dogs slobber everywhere and get big gross boners.

Some dogs slobber not all of them do.

Girl dogs have these things called vaginas and they don't get boners because they don't have penises.

dogs love you unconditionally and become genuinely excited and grateful whenever you do anything for them, like get them food or take them for a walk or thrown the frisbee to them. they are the best.

Yup.

Benson does not slobber but he does snort and get boners and, yeah, they're pretty gross.

tipping and the differences between dogs and cats, what a thread

I really like dogs, don't get me wrong. I like cats marginally better and prefer to live with them at this time, although I have a dream of one day having a little chihuahua dog along with however many cats happen to reside here at the time.

But I get irrationally angry when people act like having dogs is innately superior, is what I'm saying.

There's a thread for that.

Cats are great they are easy to take care of and if socialized well, are not hissy-pissy dickwads. I don't see how caring for a dog makes you a better person than caring for a cat. You can teach a dog to shit in specific corner of your house in some sort of shitkeeper too... they just make bigger and smellier shits.

Cats sometimes have a more complex emotional range and I guess it just depends on if you'd rather have a cute mammal with the mind of a toddler in your house or one with the mind of a 2nd grader.

In summery, Cat v. Dog is nonsense. I've owned both and they are awesome in both similar and different ways. It is a land of contrast.

otm. i'm not sure if dogs are necessarily less smart than cats, though. mine always seems alert and aware of what is going on around her. my mom's dog growing up knew the names of everyone who lived in the house: you could tell her "go get jerry" etc. and she would go find them. that dog also recognized the sounds of the engines of the cars of people she knew. so if an unfamiliar car rolled into the driveway she would bark, even though she couldn't see the car due to the layout of the house, but she wouldn't bark if the car was one that she was familiar with. at least, according to legend this is what that dog was like.

Dogs are way way smarter, and much more intuitive

can any of you actually think of a single person you know who somehow became a better person after getting a dog?

Xpost As in easier to use?

I love other people's babies and dogs and my own cats.

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/parenting-family/pets/dogs/story/2012-01-05/Like-babies-dogs-pick-up-on-human-intent/52395162/1
http://www.chicagonow.com/steve-dales-pet-world/2010/07/do-dogs-have-human-intuition/
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/dogs-intuition-confirmed-science-15301574
http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/livingwithepilepsy/healthandwellness/Seizure-Dogs.cfm

Cats have opinions.

heh this guy obviously doesn't fly business class/first class, what a nobody

just tip 20%, rounding up or down to nearest dollar, duh

and doesn't realise what actual benefits you get from being in a higher tier of frequent flyer membership rather than just ~points~

this guy is right about conference calls and frequent flier miles ... I'd add that speakerphone is for assholes and just rude.

the frequent flier club, because you fly so frequently they invented a club for you

Latest thought: 6 Reasons To Not Date The Girl Who Kept You In The Friend-Zone

Talking about what you’re going to do makes you a lot less likely to actually do it. Keep your plans to yourself.

There probably is something to this, in that when talking to other people you might talk things up a bit too much.

When you’re traveling to a new city, the first thing you should do when you get to the hotel is change into your work out clothes and go for a long run. You get to see the sights, get a sense of the layout and then you won’t waste an hour of your life in a lame hotel gym either.

Traveling to a new city! Staying in hotels that have gyms in them! Another world.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

In summery, Cat v. Dog is nonsense. I've owned both and they are awesome in both similar and different ways. It is a land of contrast.

this is otm

partisanship about this q is moronic but Christ dog people are so insufferable about how great they feel they are for liking dogs. Dog partisans are the unsilenceable bacon cheerleaders of the animal-loving world

Pronounciation of exotic words doesn't matter and pointing out mistakes is for the little people

this is otm tho

using "the little people" is nagl tho, obviously

I've mentioned this before but that's how my gf and I refer to ilxors

aero otm

it's not meant to be patronizing tho it's just like everyone I argue with is a tiny person who lives in my iphone xp

lol

ok let's just stop the bullshit right here, dogs are way better than cats

okay so re: the apparent inconsistency btw DO cut lines DON'T lean back your airplane seat:

- if you cut lines, you won't inconvenience this guy bc he's already cut them. but if you lean yr seat back you may be in front of him. plus he's a southwest stan so it's already a pretty tight squeeze.

ime cat people like to talk unprompted about how dog people only like dogs because their definition of companionship is servitude, which would be insanely annoying even if it weren't obvious that cat people have exactly the same definition and just prefer a different role

correcting peers' pronunciation is obv nagl but if you're gonna use other civilizations' words maybe take three seconds out of your busy schedule of search-optimizing tucker max's facebook to learn "the more appropriate ethnic accentuation" if only so that it isn't quite so obvious to the people around you how little of a shit you give about anything outside yourself

^

ILX's 25 rules for living:

1) if someone is otm post "otm"

why would that be better than what i just wrote?

I can agree with that one

oh lol i was just trying to crowdsource a kewl list i didn't mean that as a response to your ^ xp

posting otm is for assholes with too much time on their hands.

using ^ is a lifehack for people who value their time.

I'm voting for "don't recline on airplanes! economics!" because wtf?

correcting peers' pronunciation is obv nagl but if you're gonna use other civilizations' words maybe take three seconds out of your busy schedule of search-optimizing tucker max's facebook to learn "the more appropriate ethnic accentuation" if only so that it isn't quite so obvious to the people around you how little of a shit you give about anything outside yourself

― the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Sunday, June 30, 2013 12:58 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sometimes even if i know the most appropriate ethnic accentuation i don't use it, because i don't want to sound like a snob. it's a case by case thing and probably irrational but i have this one friend who makes such a spectacle of pronouncing everything correctly it's chorrrrrĨTZO not cho-ree-zeau or can you pass the ta-CHI-nah not ta-hee-nee but is otherwise as ignorant of other cultures as any of us it drives me insane

also like, idgaf if someone who's not a english or french speaker mispronounces shit and would prob seem like an imperialist pig if i rolled my eyes every time someone did, so like why is the onus on me to pronounce everything in every culture ever correctly u know?

yeah i don't really expect people to pronounce everything correctly and have been on the other side of this argument plenty of times but total self-righteous security in any kind of ignorance is the worst look of all

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

You should be ashamed

total self-righteous security in any kind of ignorance is the worst look of all

disagree, total self-righteous security in any kind of ignorance is a sign that you have figured out how to live

in re: pronunciation it's kinda like...where I grew up absolutely nobody said "choreezo." the most dick van dyke fuckin dude in the room would not soft-z el chorizo. I wouldn't correct the British in how they say choreezo but to myself with people who live in the USA I think, look, there's about three options: 1) if you speak Spanish fluently, pronounce it in Spanish, which you probably already do reflexively -- dickheads will think you're striking a pose, but dickheads' opinions are worthless anyway, there won't be any of these assholes left in fifty years so who cares 2) split the difference and say "cho-ree-so" - pretty much pronouncing the word right, just not slipping into an accent so people who wrongly think that's always an affectation can not get their damn balls in a sling about it or 3) needlessly Anglicize it for no real reason except you GOTTA SHOW THAT YOU AIN'T PRETENTIOUS, NOSSIR, in which case, lol at you

Needlessly pronounce a word with a z in it as though it had a z in it, for no real reason,

a non-English word with a z in it

obviously English words are all pronounced exactly as they're spelled so i can see where the confusion might arise

Needlessly pronounce a word with a z in it as though it had a z in it, for no real reason,

exception made for people who have a hard time pronouncing a letter they know is actually pronounced more or less "s" but who gotta show they're way down-to-earth not like those eggheads who'd actually pronounce a word the way they know it's pronounced

I don't know why it's a given that English speakers automatically know the phonemes of all the world's languages in these assessments

Chorizo aside

it's ho-rri-tho, right?

I looked up the pronunciation of "chorizo" online and find a different version everywhere I look.

Two here:
http://www.howjsay.com/index.php?word=chorizo

Another here:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chorizo

A fourth here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49OB-MDwioQ

xposts and another from imago

I think I would have defaulted to "cho-reet-so" (or just asked the server), although I'm not sure I've ever eaten chorizo.

*found
*looked

http://www.forvo.com/

it's not perfect but it's usually right

OK, there are two main pronunciations there but almost all of those are from Spanish-speaking countries. I guess I would wonder then if it's wrong to pronounce it the Merriam-Webster way when speaking English in a country without a significant Spanish-speaking population.

I was looking at this, to be clear:
http://www.forvo.com/word/chorizo/#es

And even that is marked as "pronunciation in Spanish", I see now.

ok I didn't make it through them all but this one from Austria is clearly the winner there

<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.forvo.com/_ext/ext-prons.js?id=1426318";></script>

dammit

scroll down to good old kneissel from Austria anyhow

http://www.forvo.com/word/chorizo/#es

i think usually if the word is non-native and you know how to pronounce it you should do your best to pronounce it correctly, i don't know why you'd deliberately anglicize a word except for low-grade giggles?

need to hear kneissel's Super Mario impression

be born to successful parents, pretend otherwise, fraternize with similar types (who pretend otherwise)

i think usually if the word is non-native and you know how to pronounce it you should do your best to pronounce it correctly, i don't know why you'd deliberately anglicize a word except for low-grade giggles?

I've got no problem with saying "cho-ree-so" but how far do we take this? At what point does a word become native? Should people pronounce "dossier" like they're speaking French? I never hear that, even from native English speakers who are fluent in French.

kinda horrified to see everyone taking sausage pronunciation advice ... from a vegetarian. it's like the pope & contraceptive advice, if you don't play the game, &c.

I got called out recently for "just destroying" the word paella, I am switching to regionally sensitive pronunciation now. there are some terms for which it seems extravagant (Nicaragua, avenue Mont-Royal) but I kinda enjoy the exercise

I'm pretty embarrassed/self-conscious about how sloppy my French pronunciation has become so I tend to avoid trying to pronounce French words 'properly' when speaking English these days tbh.

There was a time when I'd try to pronounce "Avril Lavigne" with the French pronunciation, although I'm not sure she even does that when speaking English.

'gimme somma dat spanish sossidge'

j. OTM

I've got no problem with saying "cho-ree-so" but how far do we take this? At what point does a word become native? Should people pronounce "dossier" like they're speaking French?

I have said "chor -ee - so" all my life and it never occurred to me that this might be taken as pretense, though I'm old enough that when I learned the word it was not a standard menu item in the US -- I think I probably actually learned it in Spanish class.

As for "dossier," I have never heard any American pronounce it to rhyme with "bossier" -- is this actually done? I wouldn't say I pronounce it like I'm speaking French, but I say "DOSS-ee-yay." What are the other options? I also pronounce "resume," as in what you submit with a job application, as "REZ-oo-may," not identically with the word that's spelled the same but means "to start again."

guys.. its pronounced 'cheetos'

WDYLL in January 2011 - owwwwww, my head

I wouldn't say I pronounce it like I'm speaking French, but I say "DOSS-ee-yay."

Yeah, that's the standard English pronunciation but that still sounds fairly different from the French pronunciation to me ("o" sound, lexical stress). I'm sure anyone who knows French could come closer.

i got that one too:

'folder'

I mean, the difference between "cho-ree-zo" and "cho-ree-so" doesn't seem much bigger than that to me.

xpost

hurry up w my damn [kʁwa.sɑ̃]

I thought of giving that example too.

i agree that learning the correct pronunciations of foreign words is a real chorizo.

in re: pronunciation it's kinda like...where I grew up absolutely nobody said "choreezo." the most dick van dyke fuckin dude in the room would not soft-z el chorizo. I wouldn't correct the British in how they say choreezo but to myself with people who live in the USA I think, look, there's about three options: 1) if you speak Spanish fluently, pronounce it in Spanish, which you probably already do reflexively -- dickheads will think you're striking a pose, but dickheads' opinions are worthless anyway, there won't be any of these assholes left in fifty years so who cares 2) split the difference and say "cho-ree-so" - pretty much pronouncing the word right, just not slipping into an accent so people who wrongly think that's always an affectation can not get their damn balls in a sling about it or 3) needlessly Anglicize it for no real reason except you GOTTA SHOW THAT YOU AIN'T PRETENTIOUS, NOSSIR, in which case, lol at you

― tight in the runs (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, June 30, 2013 9:08 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wait wtf is a soft z then? do you mean hard z? isn't a soft z more like an s and a hard z more like a z?

it's not always about sounding pretentious. sometimes it is, like in the case of my friend. but, like, i speak french fluently and i don't slip into my impeccable french accent every time i use a french proper noun while speaking english. when i speak french and use an english word i don't slip back into perfect english either, it usually comes off with a smear of french accent, inevitably. that's just, like, a natural way of talking. you're ascribing effort to anglicization when really it's like... if you're speaking english you're just rolling anglicize on

french is a good example because it's a beautiful language that sounds straight up terrible when spoken by anyone without a good accent. in france, if you speak french with an accent, most people will just start speaking to you in french to spare you the disgrace

surprised to find out people in france will just start speaking to you in french

ENGLISH

*

god do i ever feel like a fool right now

a bartender in france openly mocked my pronunciation of the word "merci"

i once gave a lecture and a frenchman in the audience stopped me midway and said that he could not allow me to continue until i pronounced a certain french technical term to his satisfaction

ok lol

i hope you asked him how they pronounce "dickhead" in french xp

i wasn't even offended, he seemed sincerely to be in anguish about it

and yet every French person i've heard speak English has a heavy accent, however fluent they might be

every English person i've heard also speaks english with a heavy accent, fwiw

with a heavy French accent i meant

french is a good example because it's a beautiful language that sounds straight up terrible when spoken by anyone without a good accent. in france, if you speak french with an accent, most people will just start speaking to you in english to spare you the disgrace

this is actually a common misconception. the few who speak English fluently are v. proud of their English / want to show it off.

basically their true scorn is for their fellow frenchmen who aren't geniuses like them

in france, if you speak french with an accent, most people will just start speaking to you in english to spare you the disgrace

true in Paris but not elsewhere in France ime

maybe yes because outside of Paris, English is not so widespread (o/w they wouldn't get me into convos in French down here, since pardon my French etc)

bro is back with some tight culture-hacking

http://betabeat.com/2013/07/exposing-the-racket-a-simple-stunt-reveals-how-blogs-will-print-anything-for-pageviews/

ie the choad lied a bunch

not the least of his lies: that anyone considered the announcement of hus book deal "a major online story"

too bad he left out the part about fabricating Amazon reviews

I've never said anything other than cho-ree-zo, but I'm in central iowa and went to middle school with a bunch of kids with immigrant parents so I probably sound like Peggy Hill.

que?

como?

mai oui

natürlich

Does anyone know what the Spanish is for "meter data?"

datos del medidor apparently

Datos del medidor, I'm a Shakey baby, so why not mis-post me?

i was talking about chorizo yesterday and pronounced it "chorizo", felt good

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/so-you-want-to-be-a-writer-thats-mistake-1/

this fucker

he really has apprenticed with some of the biggest douchenozzles

didnt take long for that to go to "your comments are awaiting moderator approval"

if you're serious about being a writer you need to get out in the world and do things, like work at american apparel

Go out in the world and write at your local Starbucks.

sleep on tucker max's semen-encrusted floor

hey now

it's a semen-bedecked floor

Ten rings on
Lake a basketball player
semen on my floor
like a basketball player