Things you hate about yourself

I wanted to start a thread on the subject of things that you hate about yourself. I searched but I couldn't find any other threads devoted to this topic, although the subject comes up a lot on other threads about various different matters.
I noticed that whenever I post to ilx I am tempted to drag the subject around to various things I hate about myself, and I thought that if I started a thread about this subject I could contain my posting about it to this thread, also it may be cathartic, also other people might want to post about things they hate about themselves.

Left foot

Everything?

haha fuuuuuck you for starting this thread at 1pm wins time, six beers in

I wasn't sure whether to post this to ILE or to another board, I was concerned that it might annoy people to keep seeing this thread popping up at the top of ILE every time a new post is added, but I looked at the other boards and I wasn't always 100% sure what the criteria for threads on those broads was so I thought it would be best to start the thread on ILE.
Is there a way to post to a thread without bumping it to the top of Site New Answers?

Proper lols

I guess I was thinking of just a list of things people dislike about themselves, like I wasn't looking for advice on how people can improve themselves or reassurance that you shouldn't feel bad about the things you post about in the thread.
Obv I don't want to like lecture people about what they should and shouldn't post in the thread, so if you have other/better ideas then just ignore me.
But I guess I was just thinking of a kind of safe space to wallow in self-loathing

haha fuuuuuck you for starting this thread at 1pm wins time, six beers in

I hate that I can't tell the difference between am and pm :\

Not after six beers

I thing the received wisdom about this subject is that eveyone is constantly aware of things they hate about them selves and tend to underestimate the extent to which all the other people around them also hate a million things about themselves? Is this true (in your experience?) Does everyone go through their daily routine hyper aware of the way they hate how they walk, lift a cup to their mouths, put their arm out to
indiacte they want a bus to stop, put change in their pockets after buying a newspaper, shake their hands after washing them in a sink etc?

Sorry im awesome at each of those things

Never been a fan of myself. Mostly I hate how cowardly I can be when it comes to standing up for myself. I'm sort of a pushover but I'm working on that.

I love everything. mostly.

Everything?

most of the stuff i hate about myself fall under the umbrella categories of "laziness" and "impatience"

most of the stuff i hate about myself fall under the umbrella categories of "laziness" and "impatience"

Thanks for saying that for me. Took you long enough though.

Selfishness. Empathy deficits. Tendency toward crankiness.

shitty memory

terrible time focusing

tendency to overdrink when alone/out of boredom

eat bad food

manage debt very poorly

I am a jerk with a jerk face

l-r: crut

http://www.incrediblethings.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/meat-heads-barack-obameat-meat-romney.jpg

I wasn't always 100% sure what the criteria for threads on those broads was

talk abt things i hate abt myself

this is a bad thread to post on guys

this is not going to help

I think it can be v. helpful to take a little accounting once in a while, to reflect on stuff you'd like to work on. No?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPkTGm4RtVM

Hating myself and having very low confidence are usually my problem.

I've just spent the last hour reading wikihow pages written by 13 yr olds about how to make friends and how to react when people insult you and I've realised that I'm no better at any of this stuff than I was when I was 13, except I'm 28 now and don't really have any excuse, and this isn't just some awkward phase that I'm going to grow out of, this is it, this is as good as it's going to get.

How to Ignore Insults

Steps
1. Don't react. Keep your expression completely neutral, and just shake your head.

Still have not developed this skill however much I would like to, whenever I'm in a confrontation with someone my face involuntarily goes into this stupid nervous smirk, have an image in my head of the fixed poker face I would like to be presenting, but no use.

I think I read something once by Richard Overy about Hitler, and how he was able to use his social awkwardness to his advantage, like his weirness and awkwardness was something that came naturally to him, but he was able to use the fact that he caused embarrassment to wrong foot other people and make them uncomfortable.
When we were studying the rise of the Nazis at school when I was a kid I think I had this idea that the way he looked and behaved etc was ridiculous, but that people took him seriously back then, but I don't think that was quite the case, people found him ridiculous then as well.
Like Overy has a description of Hitler and the SA turning up at some event with high up, respectable people and they come marching in with their uniforms and shouting slogans, and making twats of themselves basically, but everyone is really embarrassed and doesn't know where to look, and Hitler is able to turn their discomfort to his advantage.

I feel like I am sort of familiar with this phenomenon, that when you are horribly socially awkward everyone you speak to becomes equally socially awkward, because having a conversation or whatever is a collaborative thing, so by acting in the wrong way you short circuit the whole process, and the other person you are speaking to, who may normally be very socially adept, becomes as awkward as you.
I have never been able to turn this phenomenon to my advantage like Hitler, though.

Richard Overy's hair is v striking

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d5/RICHARD_OVERY.jpg/220px-RICHARD_OVERY.jpg

I have never been able to turn this phenomenon to my advantage like Hitler, though.

perhaps just as well

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Zpeml-2Osqs/UMdrdyhiU4I/AAAAAAAACFU/1f4q4e-hBDk/s800/Richard-Overy.jpg

When we learning about Hitler at school I remember being unnerved at how may qualities I seemed to share with him, like socially awkward, interest in painting, staying up until the middle of the night watching films and getting up about midday, digestive issues etc.

http://i.imgur.com/mdl2tVH.jpgi want attention but i don't want attention buthttp://i.imgur.com/XqwA7up.jpg

i want attention but i don't want attention but

Wait, is that a thing you hate about yourself, or a comment on what has gone before or?

the former. but maybe it's something that a lot of people hate about themselves.

I want positive attention, I want attention in the form of people thinking I'm smart and cool and good looking but I don't want to risk negative attention.

I'm not smart or cool or good looking though, so I have to go about looking for attention in an awkward, defensive wretched way.

the way my emotions seem to randomly turn themselves off and on.

this is a bad thread to post on guys

this is not going to help

― your authentic guitar playing self (elmo argonaut), Friday, August 23, 2013 5:04 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is possibly true, but I guess the idea of the thread was to have somewhere to post about your self hatred where you don't have to be 'helpful'. Like, the depression thread seems to be functioning very well but I was would be scared of posting on there because I would be worried about being shouted out for being too negative.

Or not 'shouted at' maybe, but chided, and have people trying to convince me that I shouldn't hate myself. I don't want to be bumming everyone out on the depression thread.

that i'm not better with money

that i'm scatterbrained

I don't want to be bumming everyone out on the depression thread.

http://www.filmsquish.com/guts/files/images/Dr.%20Strangelove.JPG

nv did that joke much better once today already

so this is an appropriate thread to hate having gone for it

When we learning about Hitler at school I remember being unnerved at how may qualities I seemed to share with him, like socially awkward, interest in painting, staying up until the middle of the night watching films and getting up about midday, digestive issues etc.

― learn their ways of thinking and add it into your own mind (Eight Model Play), Saturday, August 24, 2013 9:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i've always been disturbed about the fact that i was born exactly 100 years after hitler, to the day (april 20, 1989). i've looked into legally changing my birthday but apparently that's not a thing.

i think i'm pretty different than hitler otherwise though. i guess his love for animals is similar to me, but his taste in art (largely Romantic, committed to traditional understandings of beauty, strongly averse to aesthetics that strike him as "unhealthy" or reflective of mental instability) is radically opposed to mine. i like to think of myself as the anti-hitler.

Are you Jewish? Are you black? Are you gay? Do you live underwater? etc

my laziness
my clumsiness
my fear of small-talk ie at parties social gatherings, i hate it bcz it makes ppl think I am rude/stuck-up/detached

treeship has gone to the next level

we are left with merely his afterglow burned into our retinas

i was born exactly 100 years after hitler, to the day (april 20, 1989). i've looked into legally changing my birthday but apparently that's not a thing

i think i'm pretty different than hitler otherwise though.

i like to think of myself as the anti-hitler.

a++++++

I try not to hate anything cos I don't think it's productive but it does rile me that I can't grow a sideburn on the right hand side of my face for some unknown reason

I hate myself for waking up at 3:00 am wondering whether Jason Kottke and Meg Hourihan were still married and then actually looking it up and now reading ILX and having Killing in the Name Of stuck in my head and not even the good fuck you I won't do what you tell me, part, just the guitar part at the beginning instead of sleeping like a normal person.

look bad in profile

have a hard time finishing non-fiction books

co-sign "everything"

Don't blame you: I'm reading Octavio Paz on love and literature and its waffle by the end. xp

de-lurking

I'm too fucking nice

This thread

The people who say they hate everything about themselves- if you had the choice would you like to stop hating yourself and accept yourself? I tend to feel I don't want to accept myself, that hating myself is the last remaining thread between the person I am and the person I wish I was/hoped I could be. Like, if I stopped hating myself it would be the final defeat, I really would have lost everything.

This is a type of self destructive narcissism, i realise, but still.

jesus

Sorry.

i used to think that way, and i would sometimes get a shiver of hope when i reached a new nadir of self-loathing, like this time i would finally be fed up enough with myself to change everything, but this type of epiphany, in my view, is bullshit, and real change can only happen after you accept yourself, at least in some minimal way. because really, if you want to make improvement, you need to build upon a foundation. nobody works hard to improve something that they truly hate.

Hate my short-fuse temper.
Hate my use of sarcasm to keep people from getting closer to me.
Hate that I have excessive sarcasm.
Hate that I probably sabotage myself at work.
Hate that I actually dislike a lot of my own family.

i used to think that way, and i would sometimes get a shiver of hope when i reached a new nadir of self-loathing, like this time i would finally be fed up enough with myself to change everything, but this type of epiphany, in my view, is bullshit, and real change can only happen after you accept yourself, at least in some minimal way. because really, if you want to make improvement, you need to build upon a foundation. nobody works hard to improve something that they truly hate.

But if you've lost all hope of improvement that hating the reality of your life and holding onto the image of what you used to hope you could be is maybe all you have left, no?

all hope of improvement then hating the reality of your life

i don't know what you're life is like man, but i think a lot of times people think they are at that kind of desperate point but they're not and actually, if they would learn to look at things differently (which isn't easy!) they would find that there is still a lot of possibility for them to lead a fulfilling life.

like, adjusting your expectations and maybe learning to find satisfaction in areas you used to not think you could find satisfaction in.... i don't know, these kinds of adjustments are unsexy but i think everyone needs to make them at some point if they are going to live.

also, i just realized i am fucking up your thread, which was intended (by your admission) as a space where you can wallow in self-pity without being bothered by well-intentioned, positive-thinking advice. sorry.

No, it's all good advice, I should be apologizing for wallowing in self pity.

LOL i hate everything about myself, wallow away imo

I was worried about posting on the depression thread because I thought it would like I was pressuring people to offer reassurance/sympathy, but reading back what I have written itt insisting on no positive thinking advice/ just look s like pressuring people to offer reassurance/sympathy in a jerky/passive aggressive way. And I feel guilty that Treeship was taking time out his day to try and be helpful, and then being apologetic about it.

That why he's the anti-Hitler, I guess

you're fine

I thought of something else I can use this thread for- I was going to post this in the 'Your Terrible Ideas' thread, but it's so stupid I am filled with self-hatred every time I think about it:
A remake of 'The Poddington Peas', but it would be educational and the characters would all be based on people who wrote notable books about the Third Reich: A J 'Pea' Taylor, 'Pea'-an Kershaw, Richard Over-'Pea', Albert S-'Pea'-er, 'Pea'-ter Longerich, James 'Pea' O'Donnell.

I think there were some more but I can't remember and I didn't write any of it down, not that far gone yet.

I was worried about posting on the depression thread because I thought it would like I was pressuring people to offer reassurance/sympathy, but reading back what I have written itt insisting on no positive thinking advice/ just look s like pressuring people to offer reassurance/sympathy in a jerky/passive aggressive way.
― buggerlugs (Eight Model Play), Sunday, August 25, 2013 9:49 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you're fine

― the late great, Sunday, August 25, 2013 9:54 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha, another passive aggressive appeal for sympathy in the first post above.

overthinking is bad for you

I hate that I can't get anything done, thus making me incompetent at work and uncreative at home and live in filth and squalour forever losing things, and I can't even be a nice or good person, as demonstrated by how I just picked a stupid fight for the sake of letting some stupid poisonous thoughts in my head out even though I knew it wouldn't benefit either of us, way to prove that I am a terrible person who deserves to be lonely forever

(which I am gonna be, so that's cool, although I am also angry that my being lonely forever is only like 30% due to my terribleness as a human and 70% because of being ugly and fat, which I also hate about myself and in the latter case hate myself for but think maybe other people ought not to so much, idk, but then I hate myself for being angry at other people and not myself etc and ah whatever I hate myself for being boring and angsty on the internet)

also I share a birthday with Treeship, who is cool but whose zen-ness is pretty unlike me, and also Hitler, my super-neat-freak secondary school maths teacher, and my least favourite ex, so, y'know, I don't really care for horoscopes

I would cut you some slack seeing as Hitler was both your secondary school maths teacher, and my least favourite ex.

That should say 'your least favourite ex' above obviously. Hope that didn't come across as insensitive or unsympathetic, also if you're going to go for the stupid obvious joke you really should make sure you type it properly.

Sort of considering only posting in the 'Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here' thread, as that describes literally every thing I have posted to ilx, but wouldn't want to screw up that thread with my stupid posts, so maybe I will just treat this thread as my unofficial 'Posts you had second thought about' thread.

1. Consider engaging a filter
2. Stop apologizing for posting

1 will help with 2 imo.

Be strong, you'll get thru it.

I hate how my impatience and short-sightedness tends to fuck up my long term goals.

The phrase 'Consider engaging a filter' is making me laugh hysterically for some unknown reason, but it's good advice, will try to take on board.

I think it's because it sounds like something said by someone straining with every inch of their being to remain polite.

not sure if dmac's post was to me or 8MP but if to me, yeah, it's true regarding both my internet angst and the stupid jealous argument which triggered it. Not quite sure how, though? But there is probably a wikihow page for that or sth.

(I guess an anger management guide would cover it, even if it's not quite the same stuff which gets blurted out, though in the case of trying to guilt-trip my ex for deserting me and in the process confirming to both of us that he's definitely better off without, agaiiinnn, it p. much is)

See, this thread is useful and educational!

I strain on a five a side pitch, never elsewhere. And politeness is not imo to be reached for but rather a natural reflection of respect or consideration, neither you'll agree attitudes to be assumed lightly.

I think I do have some sort of filter though, like there are dozens of ilx threads that I would never post on because I know I can't go more than approx two minutes without saying something stupid, and if your saying something stupid on a thread whose premise is 'which of these Paul McCartney solo albums is best' or something then it's like, who gives a shit, but if it's a thread about racism or age gaps between partners or whatever it's more of a problem. So I've been quite strict in terms of only letting myself post in threads that are pretty inconsequential (except maybe this one I suppose? Some of the contributions to this one are fairly grim. Maybe it was a mistake to start it).

xp it was to EMP and merely by way of friendly ilx introductory advice

But by all means shower me with plaudits like

Ha, it never occurred to me before reading passing spacecadet's above post that darraghmac could be talking to her and not to me, narcissistic self loathing strikes again.

and if your you're saying something stupid

xp

Ive been struggling lately with the q of whether an ilx thread about paul mccartney's hair is, in fact, intrinsically more or less important than an ilx thread about racism, and what, if any, the takeaway would or should be in either event, particularly ito the voice with which one chooses to or finds oneself adopting or using in that thread.

No conclusions as yet tbh, except that everyone, self included, is a fuckin dick

I say struggled, i wondered briefly in passing annoyance tbh

Also yeeesh aps

Tho imo

what we owe to our exes, partic certaines of that bunch who may or may not include this one (tho lets be fuckin clear as waterford here: it does) is dwarfed through necessity and circumstances and every regard both practical and indulgent by what we owe to ourselves, particularly when it comes to letting them know what we think of them and their behaviour.

imo

<3 dmac

ah then I hate myself not for being angry but for being insufficiently eloquent and righteous in my anger that they quail with sudden shame and self-loathing of their own, I suppose

but it's a start

also from reading his/her posts I think I might actually be Eight Model Play, but EMP seems quite nice tbrr, so if we really are each other then that again is a start at the old not-self-hating thing

It might be a bad novella version of schizophrenia-as-healing like secret window but with shy waves instead of eh i cant remember anything more about secret window tbh

I gave up being righteous and angry at the same time years and years ago, turns out i remained more than eloquent enough to really skewer people in that state.

Now i only get angry enough to splutter and curse, and righteousness meh i dont miss that at all tbh.

I don't take the risks that I know I should, especially socially. I am quasi sociopathic and sometimes can't muster genuine empathy and compassion when I should. I can't quit some devastating habits. Half of what I say I don't really mean -- I don't consciously people-please or misrepresent myself, I have just learned to dispense generic conversation-greasing bs at times and need to quit.

I hate where I am in life, I also hate the fact I don't seem to do anything about it but get more frustrated and angry about where I am in life.
It's like I'm waiting for luck or an opportunity to find me, rather than going looking for it myself.

I could go on etc...

The people who say they hate everything about themselves- if you had the choice would you like to stop hating yourself and accept yourself?

I don't know. Actually, when I said "Everything?" upthread, I was thinking more about my body and personal appearance. (I'm actually rather proud of my work ethic and skills at handling money.) But even if I were to accept myself, the average stranger would judge me by that appearance, and probably find me lacking. They may be the ones with the problem, but they have ways of making that my problem.

re physical appearance, it's my opinion that people don't have a very good sense of what they look like. i think this because day to day i feel i look different, when i know that in reality i probably look pretty much the same all the time. we are too close, too familiar with our own appearance to judge it accurately so i think the best thing to do is just assume you look good and move on.

easier said than done, etc., but really i don't think anything positive can come out of hating your appearance. like, i don't think it would give you a more accurate perception of yourself to do this.

My left foot is missing a big toe
I stutter and sometimes just don't say anything
I smoke and probably shouldn't drink so much
I stayed too long at that store

I stayed too long at that store

ha this is kind of haunting

i like the miley song/video more than i want to cop to

I hate it that sometimes I hate lots of people

violent temper :(

I expect the violence of your temper expends itself in being very loudly and demonstratively angry, rather than in actual violence. In which case, you've just a beastly temper, not really a violent one.

i'm taking him at his word.

Forehead
Legs
Bad temper
Not being able to "go with the flow" 90% of the time.
I get all Cookie Monster "nomnomnom" around food I love and slurp up drinks I love too, with complete abandon. Feel so immature about it and trying to not be that way. In Spanish they have a word for it "tragona".
24 hour fixations

Forehead
Legs
Bad temper
Not being able to "go with the flow" 90% of the time.
I get all Cookie Monster "nomnomnom" around food I love and slurp up drinks I love too, with complete abandon. Feel so immature about it and trying to not be that way. In Spanish they have a word for it "tragona".
24 hour fixations

according to the internet, that is only half the story of the word 'tragona'

Hate that I actually dislike a lot of my own family.

^^^ Also hate that in one case there seems to be no reason at all, and that in the other case I'm reacting to the problems at an 8-year-old level.

Hate my all-consuming focus on pleasing other people. Others' poor opinions of me can send me into a tailspin so disproportionate that I can even marvel at it while it's happening, but I can't short-circuit it.

I expect the violence of your temper expends itself in being very loudly and demonstratively angry, rather than in actual violence. In which case, you've just a beastly temper, not really a violent one.

― Aimless, Monday, 26 August 2013 18:13 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm taking him at his word.

― Treeship, Monday, 26 August 2013 18:44 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah Aimless has it - mostly manifested vocally, although a few articles of furniture have suffered

I'll tell you what I hate about myself: my desire to see the middle class punished for their supposed feeble-minded belief in meaningless status symbols and non-material social hierarchy touchstones. The kind of people who think that because they drive a BMW 7-series, that it somehow makes them better than a person who drives a BMW 5-series. Or someone who thinks they're important because they belong to an exclusive club or are a member of some association. These people could live to be a hundred and will still die thinking that somehow their golf handicap is an important indicator of social status.
It's not my life these people are wasting so why should I care? I guess because I want to see wilful ignorance punished. The only way it could possibly work with these middle class conciousness vacuums is for them to lose everything they hold to be so important.
So that's what I hate about myself: my inability to let stupidity that doesn't affect me just slide on past.

haha you quite obviously don't hate yourself for that

Oh I do.
Bonus zing: so why do you spend so much time posting on ILX then, snoball?

I hate the lower orders for their lack of ambitiob, hi5 mayne

Ambitiob mind u

hate myself for instinctively cutting and pasting posts to 'trenchant social commentary' rather than engaging with the subject at hand

post would be good if you'd done that with snoball's post first

golf handicap is no indicator of social status - what gear you use and what club you play at, yes, but not handicaps

The people who say they hate everything about themselves- if you had the choice would you like to stop hating yourself and accept yourself?

It depends what "the choice" is between. If the choice is between trudging ever onwards in the same old hatred and shit and awfulness or stopping hating myself, I guess I'd choose the latter. If the choice is between not existing or stopping hating myself, well actually I guess they're pretty much the same. But I'd take the immediate cessation of existence over everything.

really?

not trying to pry, but do you feel like that all the time? i go through phases, hours or stretches of days, when i wish it didn't exist but it tends to go away.

Totally, and I actually don't understand anyone who wouldn't. On the proviso that cessation of existence really is the end of all consciousness, why would anyone sane not take that over the uncertainties, perils and general shittiness of even an average existence, never mind an actually awful one?

xp to your first post, T.

i get that from a utilitarian standpoint, but still feel a sort of instinctual attachment to my consciousness and most times am very much afraid of death.

Ugh, don't tar me with the utilitarian brush. For one thing you'd be wrong re: most strands of utilitarianism - the point is to maximise happiness not minimise pain. Also, fuck utilitarians.

hey we're right here

xp fair enough, sorry. i tend to use terms sort of loosely/sloppily so i wasn't necessarily associating what you were saying with peter singer or w/e.

I hate that I am so obsessive, and that I cannot give attention to all the areas in my life that need attention - instead I laser focus on one thing and forget the rest.

I hate my brittleness/defensiveness and inability to roll with the punches and feel natural--wanting to cover for being caught on the off foot, instead of being able to be graciously honest about it. I had an anxiety dream this morning in which I got backed into a corner, socially, and how intensely embarrassing and bad-feeling it was. Did a little unpacking of that when I woke up, good times.

my inability to kick a football hard and accurately into the top corner of a goal

When we learning about Hitler at school I remember being unnerved at how may qualities I seemed to share with him, like socially awkward, interest in painting, staying up until the middle of the night watching films and getting up about midday, digestive issues etc.

that's how most people are like in school, though. it's just that some then get out of school and have life that dictated that they should no longer be socially awkward or staying up until middle of the night, and others become dictators.

I hate that I sometimes have no choice but to be indifferent towards certain people, give them the cold shoulder, or purposefully be a frivolous, insensitive guy.

i hate my lack of self-control and my inability to deal with boredom which sometimes seems like more of a philosophical problem than a psychological one. i think i agree with nietzsche (my version of nietzshce) that self-mastery and the sense of empowerment that comes from it is the key to happiness and i am totally on the opposite side of the spectrum in this regard.

i love my ability to always post in the right thread

Things you love about yourself