ZODIAC ♈ ♉ ♊ ♋♌ ♍ ASTROLOGY ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑♒ ♓ HOROSCOPE

sag

♏

this is the dawning of the the fuck fuckin fuckin fuck

that's how i sing it in the car

baphomet

I'll be your waitress for this evening. Can I get you anything? Water? Sure, I'll fuckin carry your fucking water. *grumblegrumble*

someone once tried to tell me that i was a water sign and my girlfriend at the time was fire, and that's why we got along so well. but aqrs is air and we hated each other! what a dummy!

no ophiuchus?

Bearin' water.

My grandfather took up astrology to rid himself of the Jehovah's Witnesses who'd glommed onto my mentally ill granny, and he was very good at it. Nothing freaks out JWs more than eeeeeeeevil pagan Satanic old astrology.

cancer, the biggest loser in the zodiac...every horoscope begins the same, "awww, it's not so bad, cancer..."

we are all Pisces, admit it

(i'm not)

Season Lunar Month Fixed Element Solar Longitude Solar Term Western Date
Spring 1st – 寅(yin) Tiger Wood 314° 立春 lìchūn Feb 04 – Feb 18
329° 雨水 yǔshuǐ Feb 19 – Mar 05
2nd – 卯(mao) Rabbit Wood 344° 啓蟄 qǐzhé (驚蟄 jīngzhé) Mar 06 – Mar 20
0° 春分 chūnfēn Mar 21 – Apr 04
3rd – 辰(chen) Dragon Earth 14° 清明 qīngmíng Apr 05 – Apr 19
29° 穀雨 gǔyǔ Apr 20 – May 4
Summer 4th – 巳(si) Snake Fire 44° 立夏 lìxià May 5 – May 20
59° 小滿 xiǎomǎn May 21 – June 5
5th – 午(wu) Horse Fire 74° 芒種 mángzhòng Jun 06 – Jun 20
89° 夏至 xiàzhì Jun 21 – Jul 06
6th – 未(wei) Goat Earth 104° 小暑 xiǎoshǔ Jul 07 – Jul 22
119° 大暑 dàshǔ Jul 23 – Aug 06
Autumn 7th – 申(shen) Monkey Metal 134° 立秋 lìqiū Aug 07 – Aug 22
149° 處暑 chùshǔ Aug 23 – Sep 07
8th–酉(you) Rooster Metal 164° 白露 báilù Sep 08 – Sep 22
181° 秋分 qiūfēn Sep 23 – Oct 07
9th–戌(xu) Dog Earth 194° 寒露 hánlù Oct 08 – Oct 22
211° 霜降 shuāngjiàng Oct 23 – Nov 06
Winter 10th – 亥(hai) Pig Water 224° 立冬 lìdōng Nov 07 – Nov 21
244° 小雪 xiǎoxuě Nov 22 – Dec 06
11th – 子(zi) Rat Water 251° 大雪 dàxuě Dec 07 – Dec 21
271° 冬至 dōngzhì Dec 22 – Jan 05
12th – 丑(chou) Ox Earth 284° 小寒 xiǎohán Jan 06 – Jan 19
301° 大寒 dàhán Jan 20 – Feb 3

my zodiac sign is "the sex number"

(cancer)

Virgo.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Beit_Alpha.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b2/Beit_Alpha.jpg

Taurus bb

im a gemini and so is my brother and my BF

pisces are my weakness.

i am surrounded by geminis at all times....not a good mix with the crab

though i am more likely to have pointless crushes on Aries dudes.

i'm also gemini (tho acc to lunar hebraic astrological signs i'm taurus)

you act more like a taurus tbh

I've seen whack zodiac charts list my bday as aires. The knights templar or whoever runs this should come to a consensus.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

gemini

sup aries

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjPQowpnJGo

I've seen whack zodiac charts list my bday as aires. The knights templar or whoever runs this should come to a consensus.

― Treeship, Friday, August 30, 2013 10:59 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is this supposed to be a "funny"?

james franco, whats your sign

aries. and i take this stuff seriously, which might be unfashionable around here. seems to be anyway.

sorry that sounded hostile. i am a bit stoned. not trying to make enemies here. i am interested in the internet.

what is your rising sign?

I am Sagittarius with Capricorn rising and my moon in Cancer conjunct Saturn.

oh i was asking james franco, specifically, but anyone can discuss this really

Libra

this was a mistake, coming here

we talk about you in this thread too:
no boys allowed in the room!!!!

oh i was asking james franco, specifically, but anyone can discuss this really

― not some dude poking a Line 6 pedal with his dick (sarahell), Thursday, September 5, 2013 1:27 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I was just showing off.

haha my moon is in Leo and I have Aries rising

I mean I have had my chart done is that is all true.

Why is it that if a girl gets fucked in the ass she's still considered a virgin, but if a guy gets fucked in the ass it's "losing his virginity"? Anyway my birthday is on Saturday

I'm turning 13, apparently

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0a/Scorpio-rising-kenneth-anger.jpg

I'm a Pisces in Uranus

I've been terrible at stewarding this poll. How very Sagittarian of me. Enough passion to c&p all the little symbols into the thread title, but then tossing it frivolously to the wind and optimistically believing it will take care of itself. Oh well, it got James Franco here at least. Hi, Mr. Franco!

I started this thread because I was listening to Jay Mohr interview Duff McKagan and Jay kept calling people "centaurs": "oh, Perry Farrell, he's a real centaur, you know what I mean?". Perry's actually a Pisces, so I don't know what the fuck dude was on about, but it piqued my interest in the zodiac, which I've never really paid any attention to at all.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/7ab21b9864ec6f69540b4ad82695d492/tumblr_ms1xjiZa4x1rhzia9o1_500.jpg

don't know if that's trve kvlt black metal astrology or what

I am a goat.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BTCQVWWIMAENh3G.jpg

But in a lot of ways I'm very non-Capricorn like and kind of the opposite of what they're supposed to be. Not that I believe in astrology anyway but that's always mystified me a bit.

Oh God, look how cute I am!

http://i3.dailyrecord.co.uk/incoming/article1954036.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Adam-Virgo-1954036.jpg

ILM is a virgo. ILE is a gemini.

that totally makes sense. ilm categorizing shit, makin' lists - ile excelling at nothing

god, of course gaahl is a leo

1p3 is a Leo too!

sun in cancer / ascendant in cancer / moon in gemini / mercury in cancer / venus in gemini / mars in libra / jupiter in scorpio / saturn in libra / neptune in sagittarius / uranus in sagittarius / pluto in libra

oh and chiron in taurus

pisces bitches

I don't know what any of this means:

sun in cancer / ascendant in cancer / moon in gemini / mercury in cancer / venus in gemini / mars in libra / jupiter in scorpio / saturn in libra / neptune in sagittarius / uranus in sagittarius / pluto in libra

is the sun gonna be ok?

according to an online rising sign calculator i just found which i am sure is 100% reliable i am also aries rising. i have no idea what that means but hey

lol crut

<3 crut, laughed out loud

the uranus & pluto charts are pretty ridic, right? like with their orbits they stay in the same sign for like 170 years or something

yeah i'm not an astrologer but the zodiacal placement of the outer planets tend to be interpreted as a sort of generational influence, but the placement of those planets in the chart (eg which 'house' it is in and its geometric relationships to other planets) are often read as having more direct personal significance

i used to hang out in occult bookstores as a lonely yung teen, is how i know all this stuff

Similarly, I worked at a psychic hotline for a year and there was a resident astrologer. That's who did my chart. I forget what most of it means, though.

pisces

wood rat

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

We are legion.

it's obv the best sign tbh

ha, of course ILX has the fewest Leos....ouch!

wtf where are all the aries

figures

I am a Taurus and I get frequent throat and sinus infections.

As a Taurus, the texture of my food is important to me.

no idea if i voted in this but i'm a leo, on the cusp of whatever's after leo

no, wait, before

it's cancer, i'm on the cusp of cancer

aren't we all

ha Saggi runs this shit

it's the weakest of the fire signs

you're telling me

I've seen whack zodiac charts list my bday as aires. The knights templar or whoever runs this should come to a consensus.

UK horoscopes have the 20th down as Aries and US ones have it as Taurus. I am sure there is a solid longitude-based explanation for this discrepancy and not it being even slightly made up.

So I'm an Aries, although sometimes people who take an interest in these things tell me I am totally a Taurus (bull-headed tactless boor yes, practical and reliable no) and it must be because I was born early or sth.

god, i'm totally in the mood to nerd out about astrology right now but i don't think ILX is the right place for it

do it.

ok but does anybody besides really care about how the upcoming favorable transits of Jupiter to my natal chart may ultimately affect my career?

if not here, then where, elmo

all the leos have been permabanned

I'm a Taurus babe

My parents were both Taurus and v stubborn.

Once we were all on vacation and my mom remarked what a long, gentle downhill slope we were on. My dad, who was driving, said we were driving uphill. They argued over this for a few minutes, until my dad pointed out that the road was following a river and the river was flowing the opposite direction from the direction we were driving. My mom answered that the river must be flowing uphill.

http://img.timeinc.net/time/photoessays/2009/top10_crime_duos/crime_duos_08.jpg

sup virgos

my guinea pig is a virgo and he is persnickety about the arrangement of his cage, also he doesn't trust anyone

that's my kind of pig

those are virgo traits, right! (also prey animal traits)

qed Virgos = prey animals

sup

i am definitely a persnickety distrustful prey animal

i'm not that persnickety or distrustful or preyed upon, but tbh both my domicile and exaltation *are* in mercury

My Venus is in Gemini. It makes love matters very weird as a Taurus who craves stability and long term commitments, but then I have this Gemini urge to, you know, fuck everyone.

yo virgos. it's a challenge to type without capitalization. but, you know, i don't ever want to seem uptight. you?

Only about things that matter, like where stuff goes in the fridge and planning my schedule.

i have used up most of my virgoness on collecting music, leaving me free to let everything else hang out

My favorite horoscope ever

Taurus You continue to hurt the ones you love–not because you're a weak or bad person, but because narrative logic seems to demand it of you.

Cant believe I missed this, Im a Leo, at least 3 other Leos (dlh included) that I know of on here

Actually, four

Sorry man, I tried to make it difficult to miss with the bold text and the symbols.

happy birthday flamboyant goon virgo

<3 thanks
I re-read the "your coming year" horoscope prediction from 2012 and it was so otm that I cried a little.

Does taurus do well in relationships? Cause uh....

what do you all use online for horoscopes? and how knowledgeable are you about rising signs and stuff like that?

My friend swears by Susan Miller's astrologyzone.com. It has never resonated with me though.

thanks, *tera

I forgot to vote, but my sign won anyway.

https://thehairpin.com/astrology-is-fake-but-cancers-are-in-the-eye-of-the-storm-8776160dcc80

http://i.imgur.com/nkJXSqm.jpg

my wife is a cancer

that's her astrological sign too

In her heart, she heard you say that.

Eric otm.

https://i.imgur.com/ghewVmN.jpg

Harrowing imo.

according to an online rising sign calculator i just found which i am sure is 100% reliable i am also aries rising. i have no idea what that means but hey

― Nad Racket (jjjusten), Thursday, September 5, 2013 8:36 AM (seven years ago

It means you are awesome tbh. The rising sign is like the first impression you give people, or general outward self-presentation. Generally Aries rising: quick to respond and take action, energetic, comes across sometimes as bossy and blunt, often the recipient of "oh, I thought you worked here?" mistakes because of an air of confidence.

to summarize the poll though:

air signs (27) vastly outnumber signs in all the other elements, which are about even (16/17/18) -- which totally makes sense for a mostly text based message board about music, media, politics, etc.

and a fairly even mix of:
fixed signs: 26
cardinal signs: 23
mutable signs: 29

lotta airheads and blowhards all up in this piece

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CMQdEECnmKy/

this is up there with the meme about why if astrology isn't real then why is every man born between january and december evil

hmmm. the pedant in me wishes to point out that january and december never fall between january and december in any given calendar year.

hahaha, so basically the only non-evil men are Sagittarius, Capricorn, and a few Aquariuses? ... yeah, not buying that. You make a very good point.

the pedant in me wishes to point out that astrology is racism for girls

yeah totally, wait, what?

lol