LOLZ in the Conference Room; I'd Like to EXCELSIOR some of that

NEW THREAD

I'm being held against my will on an Internet message board

― three times a LAD (seandalai), Sunday, October 20, 2013 4:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you say that like it's funny tbh

― champagne supernovella (darraghmac), Sunday, October 20, 2013 4:42 PM (Yesterday

from Dear Morrissey...

Eh I've seen American beauty, not sure I need another story where the racist dude turns out to be gay

― Tesco and Horse Dobbins 2013 (wins), Monday, October 21, 2013 1:29 PM (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

reminder than anything "-tard" is fucked up and bullshit for grownups no matter how they feel about the people they're arguing w/

― combination hair (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, October 20, 2013 2:11 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

idgi ron paul leotard?

― lag∞n, Sunday, October 20, 2013 2:14 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I stand corrected

― combination hair (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, October 20, 2013 2:14 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/NrzHV2W.jpg

What is that? A jellyfish stuffed between two mushroom caps?

this is one of the better excelsior thread titles imo

noooooooo

can't wait

With beautiful timing, ME tell you what those 500 albums are today. I hope you don't like dancing.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 10:04 (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

NME for god's sake, keyboard.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 10:04 (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

He must have been channeling Cookie Monster

I'll open the bidding with a nice, easy Dad joke:

... that reminds me, I went to see a performance of Stockhausen's "Gruppen" a couple of weeks back and there was a woman with two small boys in front of me a man with another two small boys in front of me, that's bordering on child abuse

― Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Wednesday, October 23, 2013 7:20 AM

That is a dumb post. Kids are the best equipped people to deal with Stockhausen

― reeves garbles (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, October 23, 2013 7:29 AM

Oh right. Of course.

― Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Wednesday, October 23, 2013 7:29 AM

sounds like something a victim of Stockhausen Syndrome would say

― Neanderthal, Wednesday, October 23, 2013 7:30 AM

I had a dream the other day that I was in the supermarket looking through a pile of books that were on sale and I found this hardback copy of a book about Bertolt Brecht written by Roger Ebert. It had a 1970s style gold, green and maroon cover, no pictures, just the title and Ebert's name. I was going to buy it, but then I remembered Alfred, Lord Sotosyn saying something withering about it on ilx once, he didn't exactly say the book was garbage but it was obvious he didn't rate it, so I put the book back.
I didn't meet Alfred in the dream, just remembered something he had written on ilx.

That's not really as interesting as Johnny Fever's dream, just reading about that freaked me out! I always get the jitters when I dream about people dying, even if it's some celebrity I've never met, I have to google them as soon as I get out of bed to check they're still alive.

― im 12 and i hav all the films and series' im proud i luv oon the buses (bends), Saturday, October 19, 2013 8:39 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I googled Ebert's Brecht book after I had the dream to confirm that it doesn't actually exist (it doesn't).

― im 12 and i hav all the films and series' im proud i luv oon the buses (bends), Saturday, October 19, 2013 8:40 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you are probably just getting confused because both Ebert and Brecht wrote books about rice cookers

― a loving tribute to coworkers without personalities (los blue jeans), Saturday, October 19, 2013 8:49 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^
made me lol in class when I should be paying attention

will PS4 let us change our PSN IDs pls, sony, pleeeeeease

― cozen, Wednesday, October 23, 2013 3:05 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

signed, bigbuttpokemonlover69

― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, October 23, 2013 3:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

perfect

lawl

Water and dissolved gas in the blood forms bubbles in the major veins, which travel throughout the circulatory system and block blood flow. After about one minute circulation effectively stops. The lack of oxygen to the brain renders you unconscious in less than 15 seconds, eventually killing you. "When the pressure gets very low there is just not enough oxygen. That is really the first and most important concern," Buckey says.

But death is not instantaneous. For example, one 1965 study by researchers at the Brooks Air Force Base in Texas showed that dogs exposed to near vacuum—one three-hundred-eightieth of atmospheric pressure at sea level—for up to 90 seconds always survived. During their exposure, they were unconscious and paralyzed. Gas expelled from their bowels and stomachs caused simultaneous defecation, projectile vomiting and urination. They suffered massive seizures. Their tongues were often coated in ice and the dogs swelled to resemble "an inflated goatskin bag," the authors wrote. But after slight repressurization the dogs shrank back down, began to breathe, and after 10 to 15 minutes at sea level pressure, they managed to walk, though it took a few more minutes for their apparent blindness to wear off.

― caek, Wednesday, October 23, 2013 8:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that woulda been an interesting scene for bullock then

― brand nubian wafers (bnw), Wednesday, October 23, 2013 8:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

LOL

gonna start one about "if you're in favour of child abuse", see how it takes off

― nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2013 19:58 (17 minutes ago) Permalink

Re-post this if you're against children.

― Aimless, Thursday, 24 October 2013 20:09 (6 minutes ago) Permalink

if I said you had a beautiful child

― Jesus (wins), Thursday, 24 October 2013 20:13 (2 minutes ago) Permalink

NOBODY FINISH THAT SENTENCE

― your face comes with coleslaw (Neanderthal), Thursday, 24 October 2013 20:15 (37 seconds ago) Permalink

Siracusa: "The turning point came in Mac OS X 10.4, which added support for arbitrarily extensible file system metadata. No longer were we confined to just a file name, a few dates, and some permissions and ownership information. Now we could attach any information to a file by adding arbitrary name/value pairs."

I must have read about this at the time, but it's news to me. Hasn't exactly set the world on fire I guess.

― eris bueller (lukas), Thursday, October 24, 2013 9:08 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I still remember where I was when that happened.

― Alba, Thursday, October 24, 2013 9:18 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't know anyone who likes Family Guy because when they tell me they like it I murder them

― polyphonic, Thursday, October 24, 2013 11:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ha

lol

polyphonic murder spree

Haha

:D

poly ftw

And that's Paul McCartney's son, right? Have you ever in your life gone out on the town with the assistant sales manager your dad used to work with and that guy's brother-in-law? Maybe Sean won't return his calls.

― pplains, Monday, October 28, 2013 10:25 AM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i was wondering who the owl faced kid is! he looks miserable.

― sweat pea (La Lechera), Monday, October 28, 2013 10:29 AM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

We can't all be "the cute one."

― pplains, Monday, October 28, 2013 10:32 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha
what a strange life it must be to be son of the cute one. like eric stoltz in son of the fly.

― sweat pea (La Lechera), Monday, October 28, 2013 10:35 AM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

guy: (laughs aloud)

office: *no one says anything*

guy: (laughs louder)

office: *for god's sake don't ask him what he's laughing at*

guy: HA! HA! THAT'S GOOD STUFF!

office: *crickets*

guy: (sigh)

― mookieproof, Tuesday, October 29, 2013 3:17 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

― Victor Immature (WilliamC), Tuesday, October 29, 2013 3:24 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I said, HAHAHA!

― Victor Immature (WilliamC), Tuesday, October 29, 2013 3:25 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Miranda is a BBC television sitcom written by and starring English comedian Miranda Hart, which first aired on BBC Two on 9 November 2009. The situation comedy also features Sarah Hadland, Tom Ellis, Patricia Hodge, Sally Phillips, James Holmes and Bo Poraj. The series is based on Hart's semi-autobiographical writing, following a television pilot and the BBC Radio 2 comedy Miranda Hart's Joke Shop. It received positive comments from critics and Hart won the 2009 Royal Television Society award for comedy performance for her role in the first series.[1][2][3]

series 3 felt like a bit of a drop-off tbh

Mike Tyler is a non-academic, post-beat American poet.[1]
He first became known during the 1990s poetry revival centered around the Nuyorican Poets Café in New York City.[2] He has been dubbed the “most dangerous poet in America” because he once broke an arm while doing a reading.[3]

― kirti madam you're not a gag mrs thatcher eighty advantage and myspace (soref), Tuesday, 29 October 2013 23:08 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the stupid cunt shouldn't have got drunk and fallen off the stage

― ۩, Tuesday, 29 October 2013 23:09 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahahahaha

is there anyone Bono hasn't been influenced by?

― Number None, Wednesday, October 30, 2013 5:25 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Tuomas.

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, October 30, 2013 5:26 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

willie joe padden was in new york, taking a well-earned break after the 89 final, when he came across the scene of a fire. a young woman was screaming for help from the top of the building- "my baby" my baby". "throw it down" sez bauld willie joe, "and i'll catch it". she demurred, in as many words. "throw the child down" he sez again, his deep voice booming heroically between the buildings, amidst smoke and screams, "and i'll catch it, god help us". the young mother remained torn but unconvinced.

willie joe pulled himself to his full height, for all the world as if he had been called all-a-sudden to an FCA muster in bundoran, and cried "i'm willie-joe padden from belmullet! i have one minor connacht title, one u-21 connacht title and five connacht senior titles, a county league medal and two gaeltacht medals!"- these he produced with great solemnity as he listed them each in turn. "there's men from here to listowel and back might drop your child from the height from me to you, but willie joe padden is not such a man!".

pressed by these claims (and, possibly, those flames) the mother felt she no longer held discretion in the matter. she flung the child (a mere blob of a crátúr, who would not be eligible even for a junior team for some decade yet) down the storeys towards the great man.

he, that master of newtonian differentiation as best practiced- from the eyes straight to the hands and never mind the computational centre at all- took his mark and leapt as was his wont in those days- like a kingfisher in reverse, diving straight up towards the falling target. his strong hands closed gentle around the child, and he hit the ground with an impact felt a street away in either direction.

as the crowd cheered in delight and disbelief, he proceeded to take three mighty steps and kicked the unfortunate infant a full seventy yards down the street.

― drugs/lies: poll (darraghmac), Wednesday, October 30, 2013 12:51 PM (36 minutes ago) Bookmark

Nice Irish twist on a classic gag.

lmao

"i'm willie-joe padden from belmullet! i have one minor connacht title, one u-21 connacht title and five connacht senior titles, a county league medal and two gaeltacht medals!

no NYer would have any idea what any of those words mean

*whoooosh*

hahaha

Nice Irish twist on a classic gag.

― grown-arsed man (onimo), Wednesday, October 30, 2013 5:58 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Successful conversion you might say

baby has to be bounced twice before he kicks it down the street imo

not if you take it on the third step, and tbf in a fire the ref would prob let you away with on or two over imo

from the Rob Ford/Crackstarter thread:

sex tape huh

― Matt Armstrong, Saturday, November 2, 2013 3:20 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nooooooooooooooooooooo

― snoop dogey doge (seandalai), Saturday, November 2, 2013 3:35 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Not the crack we want to see

― Bailey (Collins) Lover (Eazy)

(from a Hendrix thread):

Whoa, 10 years ago ILM actually took the time to answer a question respectfully even if it was a dumb one and the op was obviously being agressive out of nowhere.

― Moka, Sunday, November 3, 2013 12:43 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yea nowadays someone would be all like OI SOME BIG BELL-BOTTOMED BIRD IS A-PLAYIN THE BLUESIE-WEWSIES, IMA MAKE A 'ORRIBLE POST TO ME ILXOR CHUMS

― your face comes with coleslaw (Neanderthal), Sunday, November 3, 2013 1:10 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://24.media.tumblr.com/3c4ff114a93f1033f83d1b33281e83fa/tumblr_mkyeztVcWD1rhkwkto1_500.jpg

― pplains, Monday, November 4, 2013 11:54 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

being an atheist hipster Amish has to be a difficult life

― the doleful cant of a bigot blinded by fear and hate (DJP), Monday, November 4, 2013 11:56 AM (28 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I mean, do they even make a bubble tea for that

― the doleful cant of a bigot blinded by fear and hate (DJP), Monday, November 4, 2013 11:56 AM (2 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

whoah, where does that come from?

whoah, where does that come from?

Yes, exactly. The question that brought us to that jpg.

such a quality lol, for a theist djp is ok imo

Black person posts snappy, witty reply. Atheist laughs in the face of his computer monitor.

im so much more than that, if you'd let me be ;_;

http://frtim.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/3904056793_3dca2544db_o.jpg

lol

- Bob Marley

Maybe if you are an Atheist in Iran?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/24/StingConcertBudapest2.jpg/170px-StingConcertBudapest2.jpg
"I'm an atheist
an illegal atheist
I'm an atheist in Iran..."

I mean, in what world is there this false choice in the first place? I mean, couldn't all of those black, feminist, gay and transgender folks also be atheists? Let alone the even more basic question: in what world is an atheist treated with the same kinds of oppression as the groups listed above? (is this person a time traveler to Catholic Spain during the Inquisition or something?)

I know that the mentality that would go in for this kind of posturing in the first place is not worth arguing with, but sheesh, it's just more bad PR for atheists at a time when there's already plenty of that going on. As an atheist myself, this dude needs to stfu

^ very telling omission of gingers imo, verrrry telling

Gingers can't be atheists

and it's the very epitome of this strange phenomenon that we've also seen as the Christian right has started to cloak itself in the minoritarian language of the civil rights movement- a kind of "oppression envy" in which people try to arrogate victimhood so that they can have bitching rights, with no sense of the big differences in power and physical danger that stand between them and the people whose strategies and language they appropriate- it's the worst, most insulting way to rip off the civil rights movement, and you hear it all the time when hardline Xtian fundamentalists say that they are being "persecuted" etc. it's just odd to see an atheist claim this for himself- atheists at least really are a minority, but all minority experience is not alike and it's preposterous to front in this manner

um surely it's a 'hilarious' joke

geez none of the atheists I've ever owned have complained that much

See now that's a LOL...

Free Shakey's Atheists!

you hear it all the time when hardline Xtian fundamentalists say that they are being "persecuted" etc.

tbf a persecution complex can be a built-in feature of christianity

can be? it definitely is. same as with Judaism.

My freshman year of college in 1990 Campus Crusaders for Christ had a "persecution week," which included some dumb Christian LARP bullshit where they divided into "Romans" and "Christians" and chased each other around campus and tried to involve non-believers in their dumb games as a recruitment strategy.

hey man, any opportunity to punch someone from campus crusaders for christ should not be squandered imo

hey we're persecuting atheists in the conference room

i gotta get in on that oh shit its just larping NOOOOOO!

It was like my first week of college and I was smoking in the dorm lounge (lol old) and some ding dong was like "HIDE MY BIBLE THE ROMANS ARE COMING" so I accepted the Bible, and when the Romans came, handed over the Bible and told them where the the other CCCer had gone. Then I GROUND OUT MY CIGARETTE ON HIS FACE.

j/k about that last part. I put the lit cigarette out on my tongue and made my head spin all the way around and set the bible on fire with my mind.

I always enjoyed the redundancy of a "Crusade for Christ"

I would venture into guessing what type of music Lester would like in 2013 had he lived, but that's like a pube away from writing fanfic where Gene Shalit fucks a cartoon pony.

― obie stompin' moby (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, November 4, 2013 12:38 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's just a pube away
it's just a pube away

all in the blink of a pube

Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Pube Away

So won't you smile for the camera
I know I'll love you better

Pube
It will come back to you
Pube
It will come back to you

AMANDA

bad people can't make good art???

― anonanon, Monday, November 4, 2013 8:58 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't know for sure, but... I think that's the case! Can Thurston make good music now? Probably not. New Neil Gaiman will probably turn out fine. Is Amanda Palmer a bad person? I think if you're bothered by the things she does, the music won't make you forgive her.

― Philip Nunez, Monday, November 4, 2013 9:20 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

picasso was super nice i heard

― lag∞n, Monday, November 4, 2013 9:25 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Live stream going via the Toronto Star for this next announcement, whatever it is

http://www.scribblelive.com/Event/SinglePost.aspx?PostId=95303187&lang=undefined&ss=1

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, November 5, 2013 7:45 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

URL says it all:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/wp/2013/11/05/rob-fords-press-conference-tie-features-http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG-logo/

― Geoffrey Schweppes (jaymc), Tuesday, November 5, 2013 7:56 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

IRL LOLz

i can't stop laughing.

Ned! Entrapment!

love that it's still clickable

that's a tie I would wear

If you introduced an average 1975 US liberal to a 2013 liberal, the former would beat the latter with a sock o' manure.

― eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 November 2013 16:58 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

He'd probably have one on him, that's for sure.

― pplains, Wednesday, 6 November 2013 17:10 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hah

LOL

A+

it's complicated

you can read them as engrish if they're specifically referencing certain types of mistakes that english learners make

feel like the above subset of people who would do so is pretty small (i.e. confined to ESL teachers w/ that experience)

or you can just read them as growing out of the tendency to infantilize pets and pretend they're stupid children who are just learning how to speak

― 乒乓, Tuesday, November 12, 2013 1:51 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

turning verbs into nouns i.e. "very dig" is definitely something japanese esl speakers do. /armchair linguist. anyway whether or not it's specific to japanese esl speakers... i mean that's a japanese dog, if the shiba inu doesn't code as specifically japanese to you then i don't even know, maybe you weren't looking at the noize board 2004-2007. but no seriously.

in any case i think the bigger deal is the infantilizing since that's a pretty common japanese stereotype iirc. like, "felicitous possibilities of the english language for releasing joy and wonder into the world" is p gross in that respect.

best-case scenario is it's pets-talk-like-babies meets japanese-talk-like-cute-wondrous-babies in which case, yep, still racist.

― I have a friend who works at Kroger (Matt P), Tuesday, November 12, 2013 4:22 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

such opinion

― frogbs, Tuesday, November 12, 2013 4:24 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol what thred

There's a Shiba Inu thread, guessing it's from there.

2010 memes

Yes.

Shibu snow dog

http://nba.frgimages.com/FFImage/thumb.aspx?i=%2fproductImages%2f_789000%2fff_789329_xl.jpg&w=600

― EZ Snappin, Thursday, November 7, 2013 7:59 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

v cool

― lag∞n, Thursday, November 7, 2013 8:03 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

tho tbf i always thought of the tshirt cannon guys as the celtics true mascots, the celtics frat boys

― lag∞n, Thursday, November 7, 2013 8:03 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It doesn't look like the leprechaun. It looks like the lead singer of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.

― EZ Snappin, Thursday, November 7, 2013 8:04 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

same guy i thought

― lag∞n, Thursday, November 7, 2013 8:06 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That's the impression that I get as well.

― Me & Mahomies (Spottie_Ottie_Dope), Thursday, November 7, 2013 8:06 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

u ppl think that's ok?

o c'mon that's cute

O'cmon

lol

love it when an excelsior response is better than the excelsior

It never occurred to me before that a huge part of the celtic fanbase is actually of irish ancestry. It's like if the http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG fanbase was heavily Native American.

D'OH!

roislecxe

In light of Lily Album and everything else that has happened this year, what are some videos from yesteryear that would fall into this category. Like, I don't specifically recall any, but they must have been there, right?

― how's life, Thursday, November 14, 2013 2:42 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Lily Allen ffs

― how's life, Thursday, November 14, 2013 2:42 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Lily Album

'Lily Allen' Misspellings ballot POLL Volume XIV 'Lilly Algebra' to 'Lily Allman Brothers'

Lily Albumin

lily white

Lil Yallen

lily al-qaeda

lily shite

Man, I make the occasional wry comment or dad Jones that I'm proud of, but here I am excelsiorEd for a typo.

dad Jones

brilliant

dad Jones

― socki (s1ocki), Thursday, November 14, 2013 5:12 PM (33 seconds ago)

^^the master is offended by the careless typo

excelsiorEd

Fuck! LOL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJYrkNdtFIY

are there people out there calling it jor-GEE-uh or something?

― pplains, Thursday, November 14, 2013 12:48 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes. Alison Krauss. Had no idea what the fuck she was singing on "Oh, Atlanta." "On my way back to...judge a Jew?"

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, November 14, 2013 12:52 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is a fairly solid contender for worst run of excelsiors ever

since the last one

Guy Fieri saying "Awwww yeah! Who wants some donkey bray-bray in their flavor cunt!"

From the achewood thread (from the strip itself, not written by an ILXor).

"Hey, thank you for not murdering me today. Really great stuff." *gets murdered*

― fashionably early Christmas themed display name (snoball), Friday, November 15, 2013 6:15 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I got a 5s yesterday. It's pretty rad. But it's weird how I set up the touch unlock with my thumb and now only my thumb (none of my other fingers) work to unlock it. Shouldn't any finger work since your fingerprint is the same? Maybe I have a fucked-up thumb.

― Immediate Follower (NA), Monday, 18 November 2013 18:45 (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No man I don't think you get how fingerprints work

― 乒乓, Monday, 18 November 2013 18:46 (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

...

(NSFW)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHi4CfWuzdg

totally gave a fuck as a lurker briefly in late 2001. passionate times man. first strokes album, not another teen movie. heady days.

― balls, Monday, November 18, 2013 8:50 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

All of this: maleness

first response sure

Boy, you must be a viking because you are asleep and dreaming that you are literally a viking

― sleepingbag, Wednesday, November 20, 2013 11:38 AM (51 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

could. not. believe. my. eyes. when I saw this detritus on the internet.... I really liked Bright Eyes... until I heard them (him). Awful voice, songwriting "shows potential" I suppose... but who cares

Sean...or can I call you Plebe...do you wash your ears with motor oil at night....Bright Eyes is perhaps the finest of our generation...geniuses are rarely appreciated by the lamestream media

do go run home to your Morrissey shite and tell me the next time it gets you a shag worth writing home about, then try the same with Bright Eyes...fuckin wankspot

― Pedro Thelion, Wednesday, November 20, 2013 12:28 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Pedro...do you realize you're answering something somebody wrote...eleven years ago...and that everybody who originally posted on this thread...has been in in prison for at least the last five years

phantoms...you're yelling at phantoms...phantoms are rarely appreciated by the mainstream media

― combination hair (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, November 20, 2013 1:43 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Sock it to em aero

lol @ Pedro's reply

so proud of this young raver, may he plur forever

― smoking, drinking, cracking and showing the MIDDLE FINGER (DJP), Thursday, November 14, 2013 3:32 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm fond of AF and don't care about what they want people to wear as long as its optional but the hamfisted messaging is so in keeping with the current campaign's HEY YOU MIGHT THINK OF US AS A SERIOUS BAND BUT WE'RE HAVING FUN NOW LOOK HOW MUCH FUN WE'RE HAVING GOD THIS IS FUN BY THE WAY WATCH OUT FOR THE INTERNET IT WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL vibe.

― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, November 21, 2013 7:44 AM (5 hours ago)

haha, yeah it's this. it's like when you see a picture of Gordon Brown or JK Rowling cracking a smile or a teacher dancing at your school disco. I really don't want to be a cynic about this, but it feels strangely forced for a band like AF. Imagine if Radiohead had pulled this shit.

― a beef supreme (dog latin), Thursday, November 21, 2013 8:02 AM (4 hours ago)

I saw Thom Yorke smile once on stage! Some dude in hornrims turned to stone in row eight.

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 21, 2013 8:04 AM (4 hours ago)

"Dance, my pretties, dance!"

http://2a56b976980e0793ddee-5cc5435fcbc367bb03f9a415e7067a97.r91.cf2.rackcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/thom-yorke-dancing.gif

Dude you are out of your fucking mind if you don't think "But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece" is about hip-hop

― imago-er not a show-er (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, November 22, 2013 8:37 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*isn't

― imago-er not a show-er (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, November 22, 2013 8:39 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No wait, *is

― imago-er not a show-er (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, November 22, 2013 8:39 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The line is about hip-hop.

― imago-er not a show-er (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, November 22, 2013 8:40 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

phil d

the nakhers periscope locks on

from the murky depths of lake aras.

a rain shall come

With some edits:

--

i def haven't heard super-recent stats, but even in the '00s there were plenty of articles re: radio numbers dwindling, not to mention playlists being streamlined by conglomerates (and billboard etc usually get their info from known sample stations - which labels then spray goodies at). but yeah, it's hard to find stats that are about audience size rather than audience share.

― da croupier, Friday, November 22, 2013 1:10 PM (43 minutes ago)

uh you guys realize there's no way to track who's listening to what radio station at any given time

― Ayn Rand Akbar (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, November 22, 2013 1:13 PM (40 minutes ago)

shakey have you not heard of the portable people meter?

― da croupier, Friday, November 22, 2013 1:15 PM (38 minutes ago)

One-eyed, one-horned etc.

― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Friday, November 22, 2013 1:17 PM (36 minutes ago)

I think it's pretty well-established that Shakey Mo's familiar with meter data.

― bizarro gazzara, Friday, November 22, 2013 1:44 PM (9 minutes ago)

The White Album was racist?

beatles most racist band in history iirc

― kel's vintage port (electricsound), Friday, November 22, 2013 12:11 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Kind of think that wasn't the main reason for defeat of miners strike tho

― In times of osterity, these Eton-educated poshboys (Bananaman Begins), Friday, November 22, 2013 12:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i mean... there are people genuinely upset as we speak that they "killed" the dog character that has the same voice and personality as 50 other MacFarlane characters. people are mourning a poor drawing of a dog right now.

― some dude, Monday, November 25, 2013 7:09 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they killed the dog?!!

Seems to be overshadowing a much more effective Boardwalk Death today,

1 down 49 to go

katie perry used to be xian singer right? you can ever erase that weird thing, that kind of "off-brand pop star" feeling that xian singers or bands give you...they are doomed to walk this planet as mr. pibbs and not dr. peppers

― lorde willin' (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, November 25, 2013 12:41 PM

yeah it's kinda meant to be suggestive of this bleary, droning, numbed torpid mumblecore inarticulacy indicating longing and heartache beyond words or whatever. simple is real cos of ~how hard it is to feel things~, to be decisive and put a fine point on it is too painful if not even by implication dishonest. the whole thing's of a piece, you got the washed out instagrammed visuals, the 80s comfort blanket for the emotional foetal position... blah blah the familiar prepack set of lies agreed upon

it's all v boring

― r|t|c, Wednesday, October 3, 2012 12:11 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

rtc re: "losing you" the real deathblow obv

― rap steve gadd (D-40), Monday, November 25, 2013 7:42 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/I47L9JV.gif

― 乓乒 (gr8080), Monday, November 25, 2013 7:49 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

masturbating at a party through smoke

― rap steve gadd (D-40), Monday, November 25, 2013 8:03 PM (53 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

aka 'the real deathblow'

― lag∞n, Monday, November 25, 2013 8:04 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark

wait, Brian gets killed?

stewie too

rip

also the guy who writes it died in 9/11

thanks for ruining the story arc

story arc that reminds me of the time noah told me a story on his arc

i just don't know what to believe any more

NOAH: What a pretty rainbow. So. Where exactly did you all put the unicorns?

[follow by 20 SECONDS of NOAH blinking.]

Would like to see how she behaves in full Tony Montana mode.

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 26 November 2013 23:38 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"say hello to my sizeable friends"

― i like the jabberwock and it likes me (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 November 2013 23:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok i'm going to bed before i fp myself

― i like the jabberwock and it likes me (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 November 2013 23:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Say hello to my little flan

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 26 November 2013 23:41 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok i'm going to bed before i fp myself

I completely misread this at first

― Le passé, non seulement n'est pas fugace, il reste sur place (Michael White), Tuesday, 26 November 2013 23:42 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

first you get the honey, then you get the flour

― 30 ch'lopping days left to umas (darraghmac), Tuesday, 26 November 2013 23:43 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Richard Dawkins AMA, top comment from FistedYourSister. Jesus.

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Tuesday, November 26, 2013 6:25 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

like any of these dudes are gonna throw a punch in their lives

― i like the jabberwock and it likes me (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, November 26, 2013 6:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

― lag∞n, Tuesday, November 26, 2013 6:36 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Richard, no question here, just wanted you to know that your book God Delusion gave me the courage to stand up to my deeply religious parents and fist my sister. For that I’m forever thankful.

― socki (s1ocki), Tuesday, November 26, 2013 9:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Casey Kasem: "Next up, Fisted Sister with 'We'e Not Gonna Take It'"

a friend of mine once hosted a halloween party, the only dress code was "no sexy cats"

alexa chung turned up as a sexy cat :(

― lex pretend, Wednesday, November 27, 2013 11:59 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I wanted to post that somewhere I guess here is as good a place as any

the run-up of posts to it probably provide better context but I still think this is hilarious as a standalone

but what kind of a fucking rule is that anyway

Hard out here for sexy cats

but what kind of a fucking rule is that anyway

Born of a zillion parties where 15 girs showed up wearing cat ears and possibly a tail as their only costume.

What and no other clothes? I haven't been to one of those parties, let alone a zillion.

I was gonna say, lookit who just revealed his membership at The Playboy Club

i should wish for that kind of a problem in my life

too many sexy cat girls at my house party, this sucks

Surfeit of pussy eh

Sorry this got a bit LOLZ in the locker room

What and no other clothes?

Just 'sexy clothes' with those accessories. I never get dressed up for Halloween so I'm really not one to judge. I do kind of deplore the 'sexy' female costume default, especially if it's as lacking in imagination or commitment as 'sexy cat'.

no god bless sexy cats

i too require a strong commitment to 'sexy' female costumes

my wife and I met on Halloween, she was a sexy cat, god bless them all

Ha! Oddly enough, when my gf used to get dressed for Halloween at all, that's what she wore.

Grumpy cat has been more my experience tbh

that's what you get for not telling them they look sexy

I'm banning sexy cats,
Yeah!

I wanted to post that somewhere I guess here is as good a place as any

no sexy cats, no walter whites.

no walter whites.

http://slog.thestranger.com/files/2008/10/palin-costume.jpg

lol doctor casino

i use to dress up like bridget riley until they started banning blurred lines

No irish, no blacks, no sexy cats

lol doctor casino

OTM

what is doctor casino's??

justin timberlake ref

ya!

sing it to the tune of 'cry me a river' and you'll see.

"Somebody to Shove" – 3:15 15
"Black Gold" – 3:57 5
"Without a Trace" – 3:33 1
[...]
"Runaway Train" – 4:26 1
Did not see this coming.

― a fifth of misty beethoven (cryptosicko), Friday, November 29, 2013 7:05 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well what did you expect the thing is out of control

― j., Friday, November 29, 2013 7:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my mom makes the best birthday cakes, y'all stop talking shit abt my mom or i'll

― my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Saturday, November 30, 2013 1:43 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Your mom bakes sheet cake

― 乒乓, Saturday, November 30, 2013 1:43 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

;_;

or you can choose not to work in a fucking office, live yr fucking life instead of acting like the gods colluded to trap you in some privileged dull existence where the depths of yr despair encompass cake and interacting w/ other ppl.

― balls, Saturday, 30 November 2013 20:00 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

ur right... tomorrow i open my bakery

― r|t|c, Saturday, November 30, 2013 2:12 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Will they ban depictions of people being happy in the fifties? Will the family members still suffixed sans -e credited in Marvin Gaye's What's Goin' On liner-notes be expunged from history, their descendants annihilated? Can I still say cripe? It sounds like some kind of epithet?

― love mike love (ko komo) (schlump), Sunday, 1 December 2013 19:26 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Do I dare to eat a peach?

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 1 December 2013 19:36 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

can you start a new column with this guy, it could be the RaggOtt report

― mh, Tuesday, December 3, 2013 1:06 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Never ever even SLIGHTLY joke about the possibility of us collaborating on anything.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, December 3, 2013 1:12 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

writing that down as a "maybe"

― mh, Tuesday, December 3, 2013 1:14 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

whoa, irl just crept into my ilx

― emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Wednesday, December 4, 2013 7:27 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ilx is well known for irl creeps

― bnw, Wednesday, December 4, 2013 7:31 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

boom

someday shriebs is gonna be dying and ott won't have a car but he'll drive his lawnmower across the country to see shriebs and they'll sit out on the porch and crack open two beers and look out at the sunset while that one wrens album plays in the background

― My Chief Keef Keef (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, December 5, 2013 2:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

NYTimes headline: "Nelson Mandela, Peaceful Liberator, Dies"

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, December 5, 2013 5:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Peaceful liberator" might be one of the highest compliments anyone could hope for in life.

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, December 5, 2013 5:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

RIP, guy who met the Spice Girls and did some other stuff as well I guess

― StanM, Thursday, December 5, 2013 5:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's beautiful uh xp

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, December 5, 2013 5:16 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

Someone post that Cord Jefferson article about middle class privledge and media jobs, I'm on my phone
― tuostprophets (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, December 7, 2013

with an IMPORTANT CLIENT
― socki (s1ocki), Saturday, December 7, 2013

http://intermezzo.typepad.com/.a/6a00d834ff890853ef00e554f9e31e8834-pi

http://i.imgur.com/4sNtszz.jpg

oh wait, I forgot to credit that. That is an excellent picture of a page of Pizza Today magazine taken by gr8080

Pie R squared

my friend points out label the radius as z, and let the depth of sauce be 'a' high and you get pi * z * z * a

"my friend"

friend in knead

I checked out the pizza today website. they have an article about the Macaulay Culkin velvet underground pizza cover band.

When did the boomers start codifying this nostalgia cult? The 70s or 80s, I guess?

― arctic mindbath (President of the People's Republic of Antarctica), Monday, December 9, 2013 10:55 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you would know the answer to that if you were there

― wk, Monday, December 9, 2013 10:57 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I checked out the pizza today website. they have an article about the Macaulay Culkin velvet underground pizza cover band.

― polyphonic, Monday, December 9, 2013 5:46 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and everything comes full Pi(r^2)

tau radians

This is freaking even me out, and I'm waterface

― you are kind, I am (waterface), Monday, December 9, 2013 12:07 PM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah but yr no Tuomas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFujxTVbTzY

ttj

oic

np

In 4th grade I agonized about news stories on world hunger. It felt as though there was very little I could do besides pray earnestly. Then, one day on the trampoline, I had a terrible idea: we could make food for starving nations by repurposing a resource everyone threw away. I told my friends we were going to help the hungry by all of us saving our fingernail clippings to be ground into "fingernail flour," which would be shipped overseas. Naturally, they were disgusted and refused to go along. As years went by, I realized more and more reasons why this idea was terrible beyond it simply revolting everyone I shared it with.

― even the beatles had a coinstar machine in their living room (Crabbits), Tuesday, December 10, 2013

A+

Then, one day on the trampoline, I had a terrible idea

lol excellent

We're up all night trying to figure out if that's a man's ass or a woman's ass on the cover of Loverboy's Get Lucky...

― Maintenance Engineer of Foolhardiness (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 12 December 2013 00:10

voted tribe but i dont begrudge anyone voting dls at all

― 51 SBs on my dresser, yessir (deej), Monday, 9 March 2009 19:31 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah, the thing ppl are missing here is that it seems there is actually no wrong way to vote

― Wes HI DEREson (HI DERE), Monday, 9 March 2009 19:32 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

YET THERE WILL BE A WINNER AND A LOSER

― iatee, Monday, 9 March 2009 19:39 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

THER COULD BE A TIE

― H3LP, Monday, 9 March 2009 19:40 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

IN THE EVENT OF A TIE BOTH GROUPS WILL BE INVITED TO ILM FOR A RAP BATTLE

― iatee, Monday, 9 March 2009 19:41 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

WHICHEVER ONE SHOWS UP, LOSES

― iatee, Monday, 9 March 2009 19:41 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Got to say I'm impressed that anyone could keep anything on this scale, with so many people involved, completely secret for the time it took to make it.

― Matt DC, Friday, December 13, 2013 9:14 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you crazy? this is BEYONCE

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, December 13, 2013 9:15 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well yeah but she ain't the gestapo... or is she?

You know maybe 9/11 was in inside job...

― tsrobodo, Friday, December 13, 2013 9:18 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I mean I wouldn't want to mess with an army of Beyonce lawyers either.

― Matt DC, Friday, December 13, 2013 9:38 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not really unique tho, the other members of Destiny's Child have released albums that no one ever talked about too

― musically, Friday, December 13, 2013 10:13 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

cold

pick up your face, Kelly Rowland

guy: (laughs aloud)

office: *no one says anything*

guy: (laughs louder)

office: *for god's sake don't ask him what he's laughing at*

guy: HA! HA! THAT'S GOOD STUFF!

office: *crickets*

guy: (sigh)

― mookieproof, Tuesday, October 29, 2013 3:17 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

― Victor Immature (WilliamC), Tuesday, October 29, 2013 3:24 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I said, HAHAHA!

― Victor Immature (WilliamC), Tuesday, October 29, 2013 3:25 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, October 29, 2013 7:30 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Miranda is a BBC television sitcom written by and starring English comedian Miranda Hart, which first aired on BBC Two on 9 November 2009. The situation comedy also features Sarah Hadland, Tom Ellis, Patricia Hodge, Sally Phillips, James Holmes and Bo Poraj. The series is based on Hart's semi-autobiographical writing, following a television pilot and the BBC Radio 2 comedy Miranda Hart's Joke Shop. It received positive comments from critics and Hart won the 2009 Royal Television Society award for comedy performance for her role in the first series.[1][2][3]

― Paraoxonases in Inflammation, Infection, and Toxicology (nakhchivan), Tuesday, October 29, 2013 7:33 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i also think, contrary to conspiracy theorists' beliefs, that dealey plaza would be a horrible place to carry out a planned assassination. oswald got p lucky.

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, December 13, 2013 6:02 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he was up all night

― giant faps are what you take, wanking on the moon (sic), Friday, December 13, 2013 6:04 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nice

any philosophy ilxors know of a feminist/trans/queer take on the private language argument?

― ogmor, Sunday, December 15, 2013 10:46 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark

Haha damn do i ever. Im all about that

― Hungry4Ass, Sunday, December 15, 2013 9:07 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and ass

― CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Sunday, December 15, 2013 9:08 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

always picture H4A as the kool-aid jug

better w o the contendo post impo

Excuse the typos, I'm on a chicken kindle

― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Wednesday, December 18, 2013 11:21 AM (3 minutes ago)

A FUCKIN kindle

― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Wednesday, December 18, 2013 11:21 AM (3 minutes ago)

a cluckin kindle

the kindles not paperwhite its chicken

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/04/40/00/00/0004400000189_500X500.jpg

youtube comments are hilarious

The guy looks like a cross between Tony Hawk and Andy Dick
― "Turkey In The Straw" coming from someplace in the clouds (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 18:44 (57 minutes ago) Permalink

Penn Dickhawk

― an enormous bolus of flatulence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 18:46 (55 minutes ago) Permalink

genuine tears-down-the-face lol at "chicken kindle"

you would've thought reading them books on the kindle would improve yourr spelling.

YOUR

chicken keyboard

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/199sol2ygiaotpng/ku-xlarge.png
i mean what the everliving fuck

― Strangers look on with a discernible, barely contained ‘wow’. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, December 19, 2013 10:55 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...]

I tried to zoom in on forks's screengrab and somehow made it the wallpaper on my phone D-:

― decomposable heroes of hipleprosy (wins), Thursday, December 19, 2013 11:05 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

like the last part before she joins him for ~harmony~ is, guess i'll have a smoke, can i borrow your coat? I'm audi 5. during which he's like u could die also i will have blue balls quit holding out BABY ITS COLLLLLLLD OUUUUUUTSIIIIIIE

― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Tuesday, December 24, 2013 7:53 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wow the subway seemed so sad

― lag∞n, Saturday, 28 December 2013 20:32 (Yesterday) Permalink

she is a porno

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 28 December 2013 20:52 (Yesterday) Permalink

[edited for relevance]

I used to babysit these white twin babies and people used to stare at me hard wherever I went with them

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Saturday, January 4, 2014 7:36 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

...

I am male tho

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Saturday, January 4, 2014 7:38 PM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I used to sing the song white wedding but say white babies instead when walking around w/ them so that could've been it

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Saturday, January 4, 2014 7:39 PM (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

...

Also sang white Xmas with the words white babies

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Saturday, January 4, 2014 7:41 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dying

lmao holy shit

It goes without saying I would never insult someone with genuine mental health issues by a) calling them batshit or b) associating them with Morrissey.

― Matt DC, Saturday, January 4, 2014 9:13 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

So much cheap daikon at the markets atm; anyone have any simple-ish uses? Might give kkakdugi a go though my track record w/pickles isn't the greatest.

― etc, Saturday, January 4, 2014 9:37 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Make pork bone soup with daikon slices

― 龜, Sunday, January 5, 2014 8:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Whoops this is the veggie swag thread. Ban me for life

― 龜, Sunday, January 5, 2014 8:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post

banh mi for life

― etc, Sunday, January 5,2014 8:21 PM Bookmark Flag Post

actually wait it shouldn't be truncated

--
So much cheap daikon at the markets atm; anyone have any simple-ish uses? Might give kkakdugi a go though my track record w/pickles isn't the greatest.

― etc, Saturday, January 4, 2014 9:37 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Pickled daikon is good in banh mi sandwiches.

― o. nate, Sunday, January 5, 2014 12:04 AM Bookmark Flag Post

... And that's literally it. I can't think of anything else to do with it. (I've barbecued it, which was okay-ish.)

― fields of salmon, Sunday, January 5, 2014 8:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Make pork bone soup with daikon slices

― 龜, Sunday, January 5, 2014 8:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Whoops this is the veggie swag thread. Ban me for life

― 龜, Sunday, January 5, 2014 8:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post

banh mi for life

― etc, Sunday, January 5,2014 8:21 PM Bookmark Flag Post

everytime:

This thread makes me think of that situation guys sometimes run into, the one where a girl is giving you head but not going down to suck on your nuts even though you'd really like her to. So you sheepishly ask, "could you suck my balls?" hoping she will, and then she does, but all you can think about is the sound of your own voice asking "could you suck my balls?".

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, December 2, 2004 8:05 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark

tired banh mi/ban me pun is certainly NOT excelsior-worthy

^ grinch

That Bryan post remains amazing

nah otm xps

also reposts are disencouraged

also played-out morrissey zings

excelsioring has kinda sucked for a while mind u

the uh oh i'm having a fantasy posts were good tho, well done whoever excelsiored them (noodle vague)

disencouraged you say

what would really get this place cookin' is more lol police

Exactly how much clowning do we need to do before you stfu about what is or isn't funny, imago? I have time to kill at the RMV

dan is going to kill the dmv contact authorities

what would really get this place cookin' is more lol police

― lag∞n, Monday, January 6, 2014 1:30 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the lol police, they live inside of my thread

Exactly how much clowning do we need to do

booked time at the tattoo parlor to get this on my forearm as soon as I read it

http://rlv.zcache.com/cop_omg_wtf_lol_post_card-rcc529163a5d646ceb7f9ce4b31ff67af_vgbaq_8byvr_324.jpg

"lol i totally tazed that dude"

you can also get that on a long sleeve tshirt and an apron fyi

"i thought he had a gun :)"

send in the clownings

http://funnyasduck.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/funny-cop-riot-police-fuck-flowers-happiness-pics.jpg

justcopthings

i just assume that someone slipped human food onto a pizza or something and that is why imago is so upset

"these aren't raisins, these are black olives, FUCK FUNNY FOREVER"

everyone knows excelsior is generally horrible, we all just click through habitually based on some imagined past glory, much like ilx as a whole time to die

I've seen things... you people wouldn't believe. Mod Reqs on fire off the shoulder of Orion. Suggest Bans glittering in the darkness off the Tannhauser Gate. All these moments will be lost like POLLs in the SNA... Time to logout.

Speaking of tired ILX memes

its def time for this meme to die

Don't let the sound of your own voice asking "could you suck my balls?" drive you crazy.

massive x-p, but I've been reading the Eagles thread.

Eagles thread should replace excelsior imo

we shd all be eagles of the 'net soaring over it all

Well, yeah.

Are there any states that fund film critics

― polyphonic, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:21 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Thumbsupistan

― eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:23 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i459.photobucket.com/albums/qq313/doctorcasino/thumbsuposama.gif

casino with the boom

Films in which a major character performs a substantial medical procedure on his/herself.

Human nature being what it is, I think you can either (a) feel morally justified in being angry and aggressive towards Irritant X on Twitter or (b) expect Irritant X to engage in a debate with you and perhaps concede your point, but I don't think you can do both.

― Deafening silence (DL), Friday, January 10, 2014 3:52 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I know Irritant X sounds like a Nation of Islam follower who signed to Profile in 1989.

― Deafening silence (DL), Friday, January 10, 2014 3:54 AM Bookmark

hahaha

lol

supreme mathlolmatics

:)

so much 5 percent luv in my life this week!

lol

OK so this is the first time I hear "Flagpole Sitta." So this is how "A Horse with No Name" was translated for the Fastball era.

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, January 10, 2014 4:23 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no idea how you can go the last 15 years without hearing that song, or what that comparison means

― some dude, Friday, January 10, 2014 4:31 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Didn't listen to modern rock radio in '99 or watch the shows in which the song appeared, and the song has an impressive lift from that America song.

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, January 10, 2014 4:32 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hear the plants and rocks and things
I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring

― Doctor Casino, Friday, January 10, 2014 5:08 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee goddamn you

― Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Friday, January 10, 2014 5:52 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think this comes down to intent; if you're just talking to someone, it's nothing, but if you have an ulterior motive, that would count as hitting on

― calstars, Sunday, 19 January 2014 20:52 (Yesterday)

Like am I hitting on this person or just talking to them?

― calstars, Sunday, 19 January 2014 20:54 (Yesterday)

in jurisprudence that concept is termed men's rea

― j., Sunday, 19 January 2014 21:07 (Yesterday)

Oh that was good!

holy lol

lol I remember straining to come up with a good mens rea joke in law school, and j just cracked the code like nothing

I think there was a strip club in Lansing that was called Men's Rea for a moment

Yup, here it is

http://www.wilx.com/home/headlines/102901319.html?device=tablet

Men's Urea

wilxor.com

i like to think burial has a lovely face under that hood

― nathey, Monday, January 20, 2014 8:56 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's probably Beyonce's.

― MarkoP, Monday, January 20, 2014 8:57 AM Bookmark

Gap Band "You dropped the bomb on me"

I was Djing in Berlin at a small party and played this song and it cleared the dancefloor. I asked the other guy I was DJing with what the deal was, I mean, come on, this song kicks so much ass it's ridiculous. He said that "we do no know this song in Germany; the Gap Band music did not come here". I mean, huh? I was shocked. They danced to Justin Timberlake, they danced to Le Tigre, they danced to The Ramones. But not this song . . . weird.

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), 11. tammikuuta 2005 7:45 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dresden dude

― j blount (papa la bas), 11. tammikuuta 2005 7:47 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dang

Grantland is a boutique media outlet. It's artisanal. Like Wing Street to ESPN's Pizza Hut

― 龜, Wednesday, January 1, 2014 5:55 PM

I wonder if Jarrett winces and writhes around when he's typing.

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 21 January 2014 18:12 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Complex's take on it seems reasonable:

As a stand-alone work of art, the chair becomes a satire on art history. As a piece of furniture, it means something entirely different—something much more offensive.
It's difficult to say whether she's using it as furniture or whether it was just a terribly misguided prop in a photo shoot.

Aside from this incident, she's more adept as an art-world player than a lot of people would expect her to be, i think.

― Ramnaresh Samhain (ShariVari), Wednesday, January 22, 2014 8:07 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so it was ok until someone sat on it? 8)

― koogs, Wednesday, January 22, 2014 8:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's the sitting that gets people angry, that's why it's called sat ire

― tench and pike, scaup and snipe (NickB), Wednesday, January 22, 2014 8:23 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

:O

Nice

terrible

Everyone's a critic

oh man

forks jumped out of his chair when he read that

Standing ovation from me

you sure are feeling froggy dayo. this smells of an AIM dare

go slower with it

more like pulled out of his chair, amirite.

see that's better

NickB for presidetn

christ, this is parquet courts?

― emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Wednesday, January 22, 2014 12:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Are You There, God? This is Parquet Courts

― Immediate Follower (NA), Wednesday, January 22, 2014 12:20 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

umm...with regard to dogecoins...HEY LOOK OVER THERE!

― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Thursday, January 23, 2014 7:43 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you have to throw the stick

― lag∞n, Thursday, January 23, 2014 7:46 PM (29 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

always thought of Oasis as an amped-up, dumbed-down shoegaze band tbh

― John Fitzgerald Chicken (imago), Friday, January 24, 2014 2:56 PM (19 minutes ago)

that may be one of the most offensive things I've ever read on ILM

― SHAUN (DJP), Friday, January 24, 2014 2:57 PM (18 minutes ago)

lol, of all the people to side against that statement

u know what tho if that's one of the most offensive things djp has read on ilm

btw i just discovered via wikipedia that whitney houstons mom sings back up on mother and child reunion!

― lag∞n, Monday, January 27, 2014 8:21 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

she wrote the song too. simon never credited her though. "I don't give a fucking shit" he said when she complained

― second set all dead boys covers (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Monday, January 27, 2014 10:26 AM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

First thread ive read in months that has felt like ilx

everyone knows straw men hate nerd shit

― my collages, let me show you them (bernard snowy), Tuesday, January 28, 2014 5:44 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

do nerd men hate straw shit?

― PSY talks The Nut Job (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, January 28, 2014 5:45 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

shit men hate nerd straw

― Ayn Rand Akbar (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, January 28, 2014 5:46 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The straw that broke the shit nerd's back...

straw men in the conference room
yeah, i'd like to suck on some of that

that's it i've had enough i'm quitting ilx

NOOOOOOOOOO!

horse: yeah I'd like to munch on some of that!
*goes to the conference room, sees it's the rhetorical straw men*
horse: NEEEEEEEIGHHHHH!!!

jesus, hurting.

Gentlemen, you can't be unfunny in here, this is the EXCELSIOR thread

tbf lost my shit at this whole exchange

Mordy otm

xp - your shit is probably still in the conference room with the straw men and the horse

http://s1.evcdn.com/images/edpborder500/I0-001/014/696/004-3.jpeg_/horribly-funny-04.jpeg

Dying @ Hurting

"What in the fuck is in front of Boehner

― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries),

Barack Obama

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, January 28, 2014 6:48 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink"

From the US SOTU address

ROFL

Sofia Vergara and Sharon Stone want to experience a threesome but don't know how to get it together so they call Woody Allen and he brings them John Turturro.

I'm not shocked this was written and directed by John Turturro.

― da croupier, Wednesday, January 29, 2014 11:22 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the main thing is that i hope yeezus doesn't sweep

― Beatrix Kiddo (Raymond Cummings), Thursday, January 30, 2014 12:21 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

cos that would be like yeezus swept

― keiji cretins (NickB), Thursday, January 30, 2014 12:21 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

+

Bravo

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/9627011/photos/emot-golfclap.gif

Winnnnnnnner.

http://www.colourbox.com/preview/2640825-489733-wine-collection-cheers-clink-glasses-with-wine-isolated-on-white-background.jpg

this has been an excellent run of puns.

Thread has convinced me to take out my stopwatch for the next time a metal album places

― 龜, Wednesday, January 29, 2014 10:59 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the infamous occasion upon which j0rdan unveiled two albums 9 minutes apart and then waited 11 minutes to post the next one will heretofore be known as 9/11

― some dude, Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:02 PM (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

never forget

― ^ enlightening post (sarahell), Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:03 PM (51 minutes ago) Bookmark

i really feel like that exchange deserves having the original post that gives it context re-posted as well, which is funnier than anything any of us could say about it:

in fact, do read if you hate me (imago) wrote this on thread ILM's Top 77 Albums of 2013 on board I Love Music on Jan 28, 2014

J0rdan imma call you out on your shit here: Gorguts got 9 minutes before the next album was posted, Carcass 11. As poll chief d'ya think you could perhaps at least strive to hide your contempt a little?

lol wow

never forget

a 9/11 of the mind

end callout culture

let's get back to puns

xp that's about the best thing about haim. imagine they would have been another boygroup, jesus.

― it's the distortion, stupid! (alex in mainhattan), Thursday, January 30, 2014 10:56 PM (55 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sorry to return to this, but there are a lot of all-male groups that resemble haim, you should explore the canon!

I mean I just

I think you'd breathe easier

If you were given the haim-like man oeuvre

― wins, Thursday, January 30, 2014 11:57 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haim sandwiches in the conference room

wins that is shameless, bravo!

alex in manhattan gets the haimlich maneuver

amazing

unhaimlich!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so pretty

that was great

eh 50 mins shy of snappy and it bites an earlier effort but thanks

so considerate

wins tryin to be keep a level head in postgame interview after ridiculous dunk

be

I am still amazed at that pun

Good morning buglers with that pun

Just missing a groan from Oliver

kim dotcom i love you

― goole, Thursday, January 30, 2014 11:29 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

but you're bringing me downloads

― the Norwegians are leaving! (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, January 30, 2014 1:15 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

clearly I need to go to wins' pun boot camp and get fit

well played there

I came across this golden oldie while reading up in the New Mexico thread:

The national forest west of town (NB: Las Vegas, NM) has some decent hiking and scenery, and in town there was a pretty good breakfast spot (think it was Charlie's Cafe. BUT I needed to pick up contact solution or something, and the route my GPS gave me took me through a residential area...drove past this methed out looking guy who maniacally screamed I'M GONNNNNNNA KILLLLLLLL YOUUUUUUUUUU. Then got to the Walgreens and had to fend of foul-smelling psychotic old man who wanted...something. I think it was flabbity gleebity slocumton.

― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Saturday, May 1, 2010

They usually keep that next to the cotton balls.

― Nom Nom Nom Chomsky (WmC), Saturday, May 1, 2010

how many years before ronan farrow and tavi gevinson meet and give birth to zuul

― da croupier, Wednesday, October 16, 2013 5:04 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ronan farrow is hella gay so they'd probably have to adopt zuul

artificial insemination is a thing, even for zuul

http://static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120329171641/ghostbusters/images/9/99/Zuulterrordog.png

doesn't resemble either of them

let's fact check this joke some more, that always makes anything funnier

does fact checking jokes make them funnier tho, not so sure

did you hear the one about the fact checker

he checked his coat

Speaking of fact checking that joke I'm surprised nobody's called out that I should have said Gozer instead of Zuul.

I was too distracted by the inconsequentiality to notice.

kneel before zuul! ha ha right

my good friend from high school is wrapping up his five year prison sentence this month for collusion. He was also fined $8MM.

― Pale Smiley Face (dandydonweiner), Monday, February 3, 2014 4:22 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

where will he get the millimeters

― hang son doong (am0n)

http://www.dvdmg.com/8mm.jpg

I haven't seen this yet but according to the New Yorker, Jonah hill got into character by prank calling best buys for hours

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Saturday, February 1, 2014 8:27 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the adam sandler school of acting, jonahs a trailblazer

― johnny crunch, Sunday, February 2, 2014 2:42 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wouldn't adam sandler be the trailblazer in that scenario

― socki (s1ocki), Sunday, February 2, 2014 2:43 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's how pacino prepared for glengarry glen ross iirc

― balls, Sunday, February 2, 2014 2:47 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wouldn't adam sandler be the trailblazer in that scenario

― socki (s1ocki), Sunday, February 2, 2014 2:43 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

reposting this one cos hardlol

from politics thread, re: Christie

Sure. Anyone vindictive enough to approve of the lane-closing scheme in the first place will certainly be shameless enough to brazenly outface the people who point out his lies and manipulations. Nothing's going to pry the truth from him or get him to resign power, except perhaps a painful arm-twisting from a source he accepts is more powerful than he is.

― Aimless, Monday, 3 February 2014 19:17 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't see Springsteen doing that

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Monday, 3 February 2014 19:18 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hey i think we shd give the benefit of the doubt to this mysterious stranger who has exactly the same interests and writing style as Herman

― regret it? nope, said it? yep (Noodle Vague), Sunday, February 2, 2014 12:27 AM (2 days ago)

entire deafheaven thread is vintage ILM

agree

whos herman

algerian pollkeeper

a little pagoda penis?

damn.

Anyone have a quick reputable link to a story with which I can refute my reporter friend's contention that Allen can't be a pedophile because (a) Farrow is the only accuser (b) pedophiles have patterns of behavior?

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, February 4, 2014 4:23 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes, it really is so bad, you dense and hateful drama queen.

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, February 4, 2014 9:18 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'd like to stab a couple of you fuckers through the heart

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Sunday, February 2, 2014 12:19 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― da croupier, Tuesday, February 4, 2014 4:25 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

will try that, thanks!

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, February 4, 2014 4:28 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

why is woody allen never also accused of compulsive child-collecting, he has adopted four to mia's nine and also acquired and quarantined one of hers.

― estela, Tuesday, February 4, 2014 10:57 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

thats going to be a super fucking dark episode of "Hoarders" when they get around to it

― Corpsepaint Counterpaint (jjjusten), Wednesday, February 5, 2014 12:10 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"You wanna be a black metal fan? You can't just go buy any album...it's scientific. You gotta buy this...Filosofem...it's the departure point. Listen to it every night around dusk for a month."

― so so defheaven (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, February 4, 2014 11:28 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"But listen...there's a burden that every real black metal fan's gotta live with, that's the fact that Mayhem, the greatest black metal band of all time, is never gonna play again. You can't live in the past, man"

― so so defheaven (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, February 4, 2014 11:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Here, take this....it's a Hellhammer cassette, one of the last in existence. I want you to steal a car, get it in and drive west. Play the tape full blast, when the tape ends, get out and get into a fight."

― so so defheaven (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, February 4, 2014 11:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

Hahaha awesome

hahaha

http://ca.rockworldeast.com/dimage/zoom/8520.jpg

Guy was wearing this at the grocery store today

― francisF, Tuesday, February 4, 2014 8:28 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

why was he at the grocery store?

― The Wisdom of Gafflers (JoeStork), Tuesday, February 4, 2014 8:30 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dumb but lol

He was at the grocery store, not the pussy store

― mh, Tuesday, February 4, 2014 7:51 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also I'm having a pretty hard day. I had just bought this big ice cream cone and, just as I was about to have some, it fell off the cone and onto the ground before I could lick, balls then asked that question, so I was pretty ornery in my response. I'm sorry

― 龜, Wednesday, February 5, 2014 10:28 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this post has the most important comma of all time

― scott c-word (some dude)

omg

amaaaaazing

ILXor: Noooooooo!

almost every line in the 1st verse of eminem's monster contains a rhyme that can be subbed out for HOOSteen

― wins, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 20:36 (53 minutes ago) Permalink

I wanted the fame, but not the cover of HOOSteen
Oh well, guess beggars can't be HOOSteen
Wanted to receive attention for my HOOSteen
Wanted to be left alone in public excHOOSteen
For wanting my cake, and eat it too, and wanting it both ways
Fame made me a balloon cause my ego inflated when I HOOSteen
But it was confHOOSteen, cause all I wanted to HOOSteen
The HOOSteen of HOOSteen
AbHOOSteen, used it as a tool when HOOSteen
Hit the lottery, HOOSteen
But with what I gave up to get it was bittersweet
It was like winning a HOOSteen
Ironic cause I think I'm getting so huge I need a shrink
I'm beginning to HOOSteen
One sheep, HOOSteen
Going coo-coo and kooky as HOOSteen
But I'm actually weirder than you think

― wins, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 20:37 (51 minutes ago) Permalink

One sheep, HOOSteen

so they're actually filming people in the shower? or terrible at making things up? or both?

― silverfish, Thursday, February 6, 2014 6:17 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

in my country, shower takes you

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Thursday, February 6, 2014 6:18 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No one was trying to "solve" Miley Cyrus, right?

oh yes they were

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, February 6, 2014 9:36 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you got a problem yo I'll solve it

― How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, February 6, 2014 9:37 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

check out my minstrel show while white media absolves it

― flopson, Thursday, February 6, 2014 9:38 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

Also I'm having a pretty hard day. I had just bought this big ice cream cone and, just as I was about to have some, it fell off the cone and onto the ground before I could lick, balls then asked that question, so I was pretty ornery in my response. I'm sorry

― 龜, Wednesday, February 5, 2014 10:28 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this post has the most important comma of all time

― scott c-word (some dude), Wednesday, February 5, 2014 9:36 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also I'm having a pretty hard day. I had just bought this big ice cream cone and, just as I was about to have some, it fell off the cone and onto the ground before I could lick, balls then asked that question, so I was pretty ornery in my response. I'm sorry

― 龜, Wednesday, February 5, 2014 10:28 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this post has the most important comma of all time

―scott c-word (some dude)

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, February 5, 2014 3:37 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

by day ten, sarahell notices an itchiness on her neck. scratching, she's confused when the skin seems to be flaking off, as if it's covering some sort of ridge. pulling lightly at first, and then more urgently, her skin separates and comes off as a sheet, not so much as a snake molting its skin as a costume mask being removed. her sarahell likeness on the table, she looks in the mirror to see... kanye

― mh, Friday, February 7, 2014 9:10 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In 7th grade (1998 or so?) we heard that song "Saddam A-Go-Go" by Gwar. It had horns so I was like "it's death ska." My friend Adam went quiet, got seriously mad at me, and eventually barked "it's like you're making fun of ska!" We're not friends these days.

― T.S.O.Liot (CharlieS), Sunday, February 9, 2014 6:24 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Best art imo is random shit people do with appropriation on youtube. Like the pizza slowed down 800%. Artists did stuff w video back in the 80's (& 70's?) but the democratization of methods of production and distribution makes it much more interesting to me than if you went and saw it isolated in a gallery.

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 10 February 2014 05:35 (9 hours ago) Permalink

also movies, people dancing at clubs & parties, drawing (esp comics), clothes wearing

― CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Monday, 10 February 2014 05:45 (9 hours ago) Permalink

, the sinuous, rippling muscles of a cheetah in pursuit of an impala,

― flopson, Monday, 10 February 2014 05:51 (9 hours ago) Permalink

the first sip of a can of coca-cola on a hot day,

― flopson, Monday, 10 February 2014 05:52 (9 hours ago) Permalink

ha ha
& otm

i an safely sit on a toilet seat because the governmetn said so and also tom hanks had aids

― Sébastien, Tuesday, January 14, 2014 10:31 PM

bitcoin thread:

sm one shd make beaniecoin

― lag∞n, Monday, February 10, 2014 4:52 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

We have a box of fake Beanie Babies in our basement that we brought over from China back in the late 90s

We thought they'd appreciate in value

― 龜, Monday, February 10, 2014 4:54 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

makin beaniecoin like heinz

― selfie bans make dwight the yorke (darraghmac), Monday, February 10, 2014 4:54 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

when i withdraw $80 from the bank after seeing my friend andy do the same, that's imitating. when i withdraw $80 from the bank even though i didn't have $80 in my account, that's stealing. when i spend that $80 on a jake holmes LP at a thrift shop, that's cratedigging. when i import that LP into pro tools and make a new song out of it, that's either sampling, remixing, postmodern or lame, depending on which plug-ins i use.

― fact checking cuz, Monday, February 10, 2014 5:00 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

clearly some people ITT who haven't yet combined the sublime pleasures of a Mahler adagio and the irresistible urge to shit

― joe perry has been dead for years (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, February 11, 2014 9:17 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

in 2014, people aren't "racist", they are "honest"

― Fight the Powers that Be with this Powerful Les Paul! (DJP), Tuesday, February 11, 2014 4:38 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"forthwhite"

― the undersea world of jacques kernow (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, February 11, 2014 4:40 PM (42 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ha!

a nice variation on the old "how very white of you"

yeah that was great

it really was

I'm really glad that thread ended on that note

i'm really glad that thread ended

Penalized for neglecting to use the strikethrough

BBeyond me rn

i guess it could be both but it's definitely a reference to the blueprint, c'mon

― le goon (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, February 12, 2014 7:25 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^ Yeah

― 龜, Wednesday, February 12, 2014 7:26 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i mean there's a song on roman reloaded called "hov lane"

― le goon (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, February 12, 2014 7:27 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

maybe it's just about carpooling

― festival culture (Jordan), Wednesday, February 12, 2014 7:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

omg @ forthwhite, giggles stifled painfully @ 330 am

then i passed the chinese takeaway called Wins on Spring Bank and i thought "too long on ilx" and chuckled a bit and hey ho, life always goes on, goddammit

― the undersea world of jacques kernow (Noodle Vague), Friday, 14 February 2014 10:56 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what a coincidence, I passed a Chinese takeaway called Hungry4Ass the other day

― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Friday, 14 February 2014 11:03 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It was all a dream
I used to read Terrorizer magazine
Fenriz, Count G up in the limousine

― sXe & the banshees (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 14 February 2014 14:09 (8 hours ago) Permalink

"That old curmudgeon you're supporting"?

My favorite b-side.

― That's So (Eazy), Friday, February 14, 2014 10:03 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol m@tt

qu@lity

trailer trash might be the best modest mouse song.

― Treeship, Tuesday, February 18, 2014 7:03 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Trailer Treesh

― 龜, Tuesday, February 18, 2014 7:06 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Chrittical: b
Diebaren: a
Xexibel: start
Haxatax2: a
Geeeeeorge: anarchy
Clemo7: a
Thegoodrod: democracy
Lll_chiaki_lll: democracy
Hondub: bb
Thedfraz: b
Alzuraonsteam: democracy
Puregummy: year
Big_rob22: a
Willz1985: yes
D4v1g0d: b
Ryman201: start
Unelma: right
Calvindwt: start
Soulzhather: democracy
Iareroar: democracy
Omegapit: democracy
Aeternaeral: start9
Jabhuteer: b
Rightfulsuccessor: b
Hypedatass: democracy
Untamed64: YES
Shmyea: right

― hang son doong (am0n), Tuesday, February 18, 2014 6:02 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and that's how our constitution was made

― PSY talks The Nut Job (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, February 18, 2014 6:02 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(Might be a niche lol, but it was a genuine lol)

haha coming here to post that

Those names look like an Autechre tracklist.

when is Leee going to poll them?

i've told this story before but when i was eight my family took me to see 'ghost,' which i found completely bewildering and impossible to understand because a) my mom covered my eyes during all the 'important' scenes and b) i'd thought we were going to see 'ghost dad' and kept wondering when bill cosby was going to show up.

― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 12:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

reminds me of a friend's mom who rented Ghosts Can't Do It thinking it was Ghost.

how much better would the pottery wheel scene have been if Bill Cosby showed up

with Leslie Nielsen groping him

Star Trek ships all have artificial gravity and forcefields so they don't need special pee cups or whatever

gravity and forcefields not the issue, it's getting out of the uniform to pee that is the issue.

― How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 4:58 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

maybe she just pees in her leotard and throws it into the replicator and gets a new one

― have a nice blood (mh), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 5:01 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

maybe the uniforms have a spage-age slit you can't see that makes them tear away, its not that complicated

― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 5:03 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i loved the Space Age Slits

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 5:04 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

velcro crotch, problem solved

― have a nice blood (mh), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 5:05 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Whole new problem created.

― carl agatha, Wednesday, February 19, 2014 5:14 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Demi, bathed in perspiration, gazes adoringly up at dr bill, who in the previous five explosive minutes has redefined forever the concept of "the cosby sweater"

pottery scene with Cliff 'n' Claire would've been x-rated imo

would watch. claire was a total fox.

Has someone checked if forks is still breathing

working on it

http://24.media.tumblr.com/4d3c52f93a93bb39595344b033d780cc/tumblr_mosv4x2GcE1snfsquo2_r1_400.gif

Has someone checked if forks is still breathing

― politically autocorrect (darraghmac), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 12:23 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hurting said "claire" not "chair"

http://www.faniq.com/images/blog/alison%20brie%20pottery.gif

Still breathing hard, apparently.

i went to high school with a kid who was obsessed with the punisher and had a serious inferiority complex
he ended up taking "steroids" (nb: i have no idea if they were actually steroids, they were pills that he took at regular intervals throughout the day) in the hopes of getting stronger so that he could "avenge those who had been done wrong"
at one point at band camp (he played marching baritone i think?) he passed out from heat exhaustion and in a half daze i remember him telling us how he was frank castle
he's a cop now, of course.

― PSY talks The Nut Job (forksclovetofu), Thursday, February 20, 2014 11:24 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A+

all true btw

Tale as old as time!

glad he finally figured out acquiring a weapon is easier than getting ripped

kind of lol mostly sad

Frank'n'furter: "In just seven days... I can make you a police man-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"

oh snoball

his nickname in high school was "pee wee", srsly

and he was a good friend; i don't mean to be too shitty about it! I still remember his old phone number!

If my gf had a thing for Idris Elba I'd totally give her a free pass to bang him if given the chance.

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 5:46 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

cool

― max, Thursday, February 20, 2014 3:16 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*fives*

ok, fess up: who wrote this comment on the marketplace article?

2 COMMENTS
Jeff from 18F's picture Jeff from 18F replied on Feb 19, 2014 PERMALINK
I'm really glad that Marketplace featured conferencecall.biz and not the lame, on-the-nose humor of "Conference Call in Real Life"

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GT from FL's picture GT from FL replied on Feb 19, 2014 PERMALINK

If you like this, you will really like Conference Call in Real Life:

― Karl Malone, Thursday, February 20, 2014 1:09 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Jeff from 18F

― diamonddave85‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌ (diamonddave85), Thursday, February 20, 2014 2:04 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm in 20R.

― Jeff, Thursday, February 20, 2014 2:07 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My French girlfriend at the time and I took my dad and his then girlfriend to see Marquis. I think my dad's gf weas a little unsettled by the experience.

― A specialist in foolery (Michael White), Wednesday, 19 February 2014 17:23 (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

me too

― goole, Wednesday, 19 February 2014 17:24 (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't remember inviting you

― A specialist in foolery (Michael White), Wednesday, 19 February 2014 17:25 (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he sat behind you guys making moaning sounds

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 19 February 2014 17:26 (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In a dog mask.

― Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 19 February 2014 17:26 (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bg80jycIEAAGR1Y.jpg

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, February 20, 2014 2:21 PM (Yesterday)

Who they?

― Tuomas, Friday, February 21, 2014 5:55 AM (2 hours ago)

tuomas if there was an embed for getting a thread to slap someone in the face i would paste it in below even if it inadvertently slapped everyone else who loaded this thread in the face because then it would also slap you in the face for asking such a fundamentally dense question about the very thread in which you were asking it, my gawd

― j., Friday, February 21, 2014 7:01 AM (1 hour ago)

hahahahahahaaaaaaa

our very own Balki saw a picture of his spiritual forebear and acted as if they were perfect strangers

^really stretching, but a solid zing nonetheless

first half was a solid zing, but adding the extra part put it in Velvet Undergrowl territory

you don't understand, velvet undergrowl was the name of his dog

Man, It's hard to believe Kurt Cobain has been dead for 20 years but Angelfire still exists.

― Tuomas, Friday, February 21, 2014 6:36 PM (3 days ago)

been playing the "fuck her right in the pussy" guy in my mind with a lords of acid track underneath it and heavy emphasis on the word RIGHT

― PSY talks The Nut Job (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 05:54 (6 days ago) Permalink

Cool

― 龜, Tuesday, 18 February 2014 05:55 (6 days ago) Permalink

oh hey we have an out gay pro basketballer as of last night

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Monday, February 24, 2014 10:22 AM

omg was he picked

― surm, Monday, February 24, 2014 10:40 AM

I personally believe that Mt Gox users are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don't have bitcoin and, uh, I believe that our economy like such as in Mt Gox and, uh, the Coinbase, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our exchanges over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help Mt Gox and should help the Coinfloor and the Asian bitcoins, so we will be able to build up our future

― joe perry has been dead for years (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, February 25, 2014 11:03 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha i knew that was the reason for this bump

omg. smithy for miss america.

I accept this crown for the honor of Mt Gox

Mt Gox sounds like somewhere star bellied sneetches would live

a toast! raise your marshmallow stick!

and by that i mean good call

I box in yellow Mt.Gox box sox

man it sucks so hard that sarah palin is a nuisance but generated the first totally fresh & original literary voice in so long
beautiful

... I can't tell if you're kidding or not

What's with the arctic monkey's Fonzie hair? Is he a "ted"?

― sXe & the banshees (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, February 26, 2014 3:31 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I remember when they first came out they looked like kids who would go to a midnight opening to buy a ps3

― sXe & the banshees (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, February 26, 2014 3:32 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wonder which thread will be the first to get an 'organic' bump

ILX WHERE IS OUR POSTS

Yeah, that was kinda weird.

All better and tidied up now...

He has his molester's eyes.

(sorry)

― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Friday, February 28, 2014 12:53 PM

ol' molester eyes

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, February 28, 2014 1:11 PM

lol

New album Nikki Nack in May 2014. Clips sound badass.

― Johnny Fever, Monday, March 3, 2014 3:30 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

happy to hear about this

― PSY talks The Nut Job (forksclovetofu), Monday, March 3, 2014 3:31 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I have a friend who hates tune-yards more than anything. His name is Nicky. He is very angry right now.

― Frederik B, Monday, March 3, 2014 3:43 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is History of the Eagles about the band the Eagles

― AIDS (Hungry4Ass), Monday, March 3, 2014 5:36 PM (9 minutes ago)

(xxpost) Yes--it's in 3D, and Frey and Henley and the rest come flying out the screen right at you.

― clemenza, Monday, March 3, 2014 5:39 PM (6 minutes ago)

is History of the Eagles about the band the Eagles

― AIDS (Hungry4Ass), M

DON: Well, yeah

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, March 3, 2014 5:42 PM (3 minutes ago)

THE EAGLES 3D: THEY FLY @ U FACE

― Ward Fowler, Monday, March 3, 2014 5:43 PM (2 minutes ago)

fly @ u face: stillll got it

greetings meatface. i come in the name of a great new technology which will change the way you poop and shop. do not be alarmed. if you alarmed i will record your reaction to the universe. please do not blame me, i am an empty tube for data and purchases. i can help you chrome your meat so looking at people is less boring and lonely. and you can find nearby pizzerias don't you want to do that with your face.

― j., Wednesday, March 5, 2014 12:49 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is unexpected

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2014/03/05/pope-francis-church-could-support-civil-unions/

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Thursday, March 6, 2014 8:19 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

can't believe we missed the obvious 'take, eat, this is my body' jokes

― j., Thursday, March 6, 2014 9:12 AM (7 hours ago)

My friend and I purchased an entire Arby's roast one summer. they sliced it up and gave it to us in tin foil. they then sold us the real deal arby's buns for something like 15c per. we ate arby's roast beef sandwiches like they were apples that summer.

― POO: the blossom or full flower of the evening (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, March 7, 2014 2:45 PM (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

striking imagery too imho

I keep picturing as a soft-focus nostalgic "stand by me" type movie scene, montage of two kids working and saving all their nickels, hanging out by the old fishing hole, eating an entire Arby's roast under the old oak tree.

Arby's horsey sauce might've made it seem like eating from a feedbag of apples.

it never occurred to me that there are "entire arby's roasts," that they are discrete objects

http://www.theonion.com/articles/arbys-now-charging-299-to-let-customers-go-behind,27053/

what does it look like xp?

in b4 wallogina.jpg

out b4 wallogina.jpg

I worked at Arby's for three months, back when they still allowed backline folks full unrestricted slicer access. The roasts are huge slabs of roast beef...they are oddly shaped and weigh a few pounds and then when cooked you fling em in the slicer and go to town.

also that job sucked dick

that would account for the "oddly shaped"

Once worked at a deli and occasionally had to slice meat. Always made me nervous, especially with customers watching.

Running a table saw would probably be ten times easier because you're wearing glasses in a workshop and not holding a greasy slab of ham.

But the meat it on that rack thing and then that handle thing w spikes is applying downward pressure.... It's not slipping if you do it right... I love slicing meat. Food prep zen.

I cut myself many times. a few years later they reduced the 'difficulty' of running the slicer and made it more automated so I assume someone in Arby's lost an arm or somefing.

I dunno, shakes, you still had to reach down into the cooler and pull out the meat. Yeah, you got that spikey clamp, but you still get clammy.

in the cooler you
reach down and pull out the meat
you still get clammy

I worked at Arby's for three months, back when they still allowed backline folks full unrestricted slicer access.

http://static.neatorama.com/stacy/bunkers.jpg

before the 'new ideas'

lol Phil

i have a meat slicer. it's fun bit a bit scary ya

oh lord have i ever told my "lettuce witch" story from college on here

the term "lettuce witch" kind of inherently demands an audience. speak!

Arby's three-chese bacon sandwich:

http://junkfoodbetty.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Arbys-Angus-Three-Cheese-Bacon-Open.jpg

I bet that looked great before it was eaten.

Arby's curly fries are amazing

i love their jamocha shake

says the board that wouldn't be caught dead in a subway

I'd rather die choking on a curly fry than be a soldier in Jared's Army

SHOTS FIRED

http://www.therooster.com/sites/default/files/jared_fogle.jpg

Jared's been putting on a bit of weight lately, I see. hmmmm.

Also starting to get a little uncanny valley.

Yeah that meat looks almost real.

beef and cheddar and curlies w/ horsey sauce

singing "Battered old cock" to tune of "Dirty Old Town"

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Friday, March 7, 2014 8:23 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

s this a fair order of events of this whole sordid gossipy affair:

1) Jim O'Rourke has affair with (then-married) Eva Prinz

2) Eva leaves her husband AND Jim for Thurston

3) Jim leaves Sonic Youth and departs the USA for Japan

4) Thurston leaves Kim for Eva

― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Monday, 10 March 2014 04:02 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

5. Christine McVie leaves Steve Shelley for Glenn Branca

― I got the glares, the mutterings, the snarls (President Keyes), Monday, 10 March 2014 04:07 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah that was good

we need an fp trading marketplace to pay for the servers

― POO: the blossom or full flower of the evening (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, March 12, 2014 4:18 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

p sure that the us posters tip 25% to pay for the servers

― unw? j.......n (darraghmac), Wednesday, March 12, 2014 4:20 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark

only us posters under 60, seniors use the 10% rate

Maybe the pilot flew it into space?

― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 15 March 2014 01:27 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

shut the fuck up

― fedora the implorer (nakhchivan), Saturday, 15 March 2014 01:29 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hysterical

there is a dedicated stfu thread, of which this post is barely worthy

idk what you were thinking lj but if there were any reason to copy and paste josh in chicago being told to shut up then it wouldn't be to post it to this compendium of josh in chicago level sitcom repartee

excelsior prob beyond reclaiming yh

Y'all too cool

I enjoy reading that one eagles joke every six posts gotta say

Quick someone say well yeah it'll be funnyyyyyyy

"the eagles has landed" they'll say when the malaysian plane lands on the surface of the moon

well yeah

DONE: Well, yeah.

I would pay the highest price to relive that eagles thread fresh

take it easy, wins

^^^

my vcr board game story: we used to have atmosfear - http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/1881/atmosfear-the-harbingers - when i was growing up. we tried playing it once or twice and then it got tucked into a random vcr box until a few years later when my then ~2yo sister turned it on thinking it was a baby genius movie. she was so frightened that from then on if you asked her if she wanted to watch baby genius she'd say, "no, too scary."

― Mordy , Sunday, March 16, 2014 10:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I would probably say "it's an open-y" irl

― coops all on coops tbh (crüt), Monday, March 17, 2014 8:23 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*opens thread*

"oooh it's a close-y."

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Monday, March 17, 2014 8:25 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hahaaaa wheres the discush on that crazy blog going on?

OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Checking imdb, he had songs in Due Date, Eat, Pray, Love, and Shallow Hal wtf?

― Interior. Ibiza Bar (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, March 18, 2014 1:41 PM (39 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Dead Man-esque score for Shallow Hal iirc

― cwkiii, Tuesday, March 18, 2014 1:47 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

treeship does your dog sometimrs forget the second half of your name and pee on you by accident

― waterbabies (waterface), Wednesday, March 19, 2014 1:07 PM (47 seconds ago)

I trust that was aptly retorted-to

still waiting..

xp - lj, I am sure that your contribution to that thread would be astounding

it was so good everyone is fucking speechless and has ripped out their tongues

waterface does the second half of your name sometimes forget the first half of your name and manically charge around the house looking for a drink

excelsior me

http://dreager1.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/hydrosand.jpg

wait i get it
what a face
i get it now

applause

farts

nothing in this thread qualified as humour

― lex pretend, Thursday, March 20, 2014 5:32 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

in yr opinion are u statler or waldorf

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, March 20, 2014 5:34 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't know who those are

― lex pretend, Thursday, March 20, 2014 5:34 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is there a special comedy term for straight men who are incapable of recognizing that that's what they are

josh radnor

thanks, lex really radnored that one

"straight" man

"man"

yes i realize that a separate joke would work for that a la

http://thebacklot.mtvnimages.com/uploads/2013/11/andre-braugher-andy-samberg-teaser.jpg?width=300&height=250&quality=0.7

but captain holt is well aware that he is the straight man

lex knows what he's doing.

doesn't the straight man always

sadly, no

poor man's tuomas

Fuck this guy in the ass with a barbed red hot poker for eternity in hell and all, but he was really pretty minor in terms of actual influence and also such a no-brainer to hate.

― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 21 March 2014 16:57 (3 hours ago) Permalink

he was really pretty minor in terms of actual influence and also such a no-brainer to hate.

^^ yeah this is kind of the thing

― surfbort memes get played out, totally (k3vin k.), Friday, 21 March 2014 16:58 (3 hours ago) Permalink

get a brain morans, phreddie phelpps is a-ok to hate, easy target or no.

― ian, Friday, 21 March 2014 19:54 (30 minutes ago) Permalink

You guys know every time you write his name he gets more power whether you hate him or not.

― ▴▲ ▴TH3CR()$BY$H()W▴▲ ▴ (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 21 March 2014 19:56 (28 minutes ago) Permalink

the ben kenobi of homophobia

― We hugged with no names exchanged (forksclovetofu), Friday, 21 March 2014 19:57 (28 minutes ago) Permalink

that's it folks

time to shut excelsior down

done

otm, no longer funny at all

whatever that was a good line

it even rhymed like a backpacker rap