Why do I hate that thing (excluding image macros) that people put on facebook? Why am I such a jerk?

Today, it was this:

http://mashable.com/2013/11/01/hockey-star-wars-night-jerseys/

Also a lot of totally cool pumpkin carvings and totally rad haloween costumes, made by someone, uploaded to somewhere, usually collected in some one other place, and then shared by some one or ones on facebook. It isn't necessarily the content that's the problem, but the sharing also.

I see this thread as a sister thread to the one about stupid image macros.

For reference:

why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

Anything on buzzfeed.

not sure i want this thread in my life

I myself am dubious of the premise

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/norway/10417764/Norway-braces-itself-for-nine-hours-of-live-knitting.html

argh why would you post that when it's already over? you tease

i wish it were possible to filter posts by FB friends according to content — e.g. there is a schoolmate who is a nice dude in person and not obnoxious at all, but his fb posts are all laundry lists of what he's doing/going to do at the gym/in his workout.

I've had it up to here with links to articles with enigmatic, leading titles ... but nothing could prepare me for what happened next.

The worst is how they assume you have a child's emotional response range, and a brain the size of a walnut. And there's no way to answer back, to insist that their blanket claims don't speak for you.

This earthworm will utterly terrify you... then you'll be amazed by what it does for the soil!

lol You'll Be Amazed What Happens To This Tooth Kept In A Glass Of Coca Cola For A Few Days

On band pages, people who comment on the announcement of a set of tour dates with "Play [name of their town]!!!"

its all fucking shit isnt it all of it

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/1502540_581697541915599_1352932666_n.jpg

Those are really cute dogs and I feel bad for them but GFY.

Here's a cheery one:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/t1/1544402_594673397277386_757035181_n.jpg

You guys are on the wrong thread, btw.

oops, ctrl-f'd Facebook

dammit :(

Here Are 12 Unborn Animals In The Womb. They're Absolutely Beautiful...Especially The Dolphin.
www.viralnova.com
Except the shark. That thing is still terrifying.

hate hate hate hate hate hate upworthy and all such sites with a furious passion. simply because they're so patronising, paint everyone with the same brush and are pushing online media even further into the diseased and sucking maw of the clickbait model.

also, the passive-aggressive posts directed at unnamed co-workers/associates of the status-poster, for the sole purpose of moaning and not actually engaging in constructive communication to solve their problems with each other.

Those can be pretty grim. Certain people do that a lot.

Erotically charged holiday/nightclub photographs and the comments they engender

Nothing Could Prepare Me For This Comment Engendered By An Erotically-charged Holiday/Nightclub Photo

especially the dolphin

except the shark

haha!

my one republican/libertarian fb friend had a long screed today about how the founding fathers were geniuses but the current government is run by idiots. (imo they're not idiots, but they're way too in the thrall of multinational corporations and big oil and lobbyists.)

They Went For A Canoe Ride To The Island. What They Saw On The Way Back Was Unimaginable.
www.lifebuzz.co
I can't believe they caught it on film.

Is it sad I think I know what that one is without even having anything to click on? (footage of s flock of birds swooshing about (I know theres a proper term for it but the word escapes me).

"footage" sounds correct to me

She Stretches And Glides Her Body Over A Blank Canvas When I Realized What She...

You Won't Believe Who Is The Centrefold Model In This Dirty Magazine You're Tugging Off To

No I meant theres a word for the close formation flock swooping some birds do.

I knew that I was just acting in the spirit of the thread title

such a jerk

His First Four Sentences Made Me Skeptical. But His Fifth Sentence Blew My Mind. The Sixth Made Me Question The Existence Of God. By His Seventh I Was Beating Off. I Cleaned Up During His Eighth Just In Time For His Ninth To Blow My Mind All Over Again.

Trayce, You Wouldn't Believe The Word For Flocks of Bird Swooping in Formation.
And when you learn it you'll cry.

(It's murmuration)

*sobs*, shares.

Know what? The "hide posts from Zimbio" thing does nothing.

http://i.imgur.com/Z2djWpG.jpg http://i.imgur.com/fzIreVg.jpg

l-o-l

Man Tries to Hug a Wild Lion, You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!
earthporm.com
When you hear of someone trying to hug a wild lion, you immediately think you know exactly what's about to happen. But trust me when i say, you will not

Trayce, You Wouldn't Believe The Word For Flocks of Bird Swooping in Formation.
And when you learn it you'll cry.

(It's murmuration)

Hahaha! (thankyou. I thought it was sussuration so I was close)

She's all I need, all my life
I feel so good if I just say the word
Sussuration

You're the meaning in my life...

A Guy Started Dancing Alone – But What Happened Next Was Amazing

Here Are The Top 37 Things Dying People Say They Regret. Learn From It Before It’s Too Late

repost of a reblog of a german article which is a re-write of an australian article that says "hey vegans! you killed a load of animals. macho red meat eaters save the world with kindness to animals you narcissistic hippies. suck it up!"
wack science, warped invective & cherry picked statistics in original.
bros meat down yo's i gotsta loves me some red steak y'all

Not a vegan but fuck that

https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/l/t1/1623643_10152234053285120_1303368807_n.jpg

a new and deadlier form

oops wrong thread

amazed at how quickly + shamelessly huffpo's adapted to the upworthy brand of titles

these have been really bad this week in the wake of that 'strangers kissing' thing, every third thing on my feed is now *bad* black and white images of people doing something banal for the first time, or doing it every day for a year, and "The result is beyond..." (actually gets cut off there, fuuuuuuuck this). I realize a lot of these tropes have been around for ages, but it's the crummy low-contrast badly-lit B&W that unites them now.

amazed at how quickly + shamelessly huffpo's adapted to the upworthy brand of titles

Christ, event the NY Times and Slate, too.

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1.0-9/1922333_10153965577400724_1709314915_n.jpg

look at her freakishly small hands

actual lol and wtf

that is maybe the funniest thing ive seen on this thread

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Tempted to unfriend everyone I see repost this passive-aggressive bullshit:

"I am very selective when it comes to befriending friends and family that's why I don't have many on Facebook, but I'm doing this once and once only, so now's your chance.........It occurs to me that for each and every one of you on my friends list, I catch myself looking at your pictures, sharing jokes and news, as well as support during good and bad times. I am also happy to have you among my friends. We will see who will take the time to read this message until the end. If you appreciate your friends and family from all over the world, copy this into your status, even if it's just for a minute. I'm going to be watching to see who takes care of the friendship, just like me. Thank you all for being a part of my life. Copy and paste please, DON'T SHARE!! If no one reads my wall, this should be a very short experiment. So, if you read this, leave one word as to how we met. Only ONE word, then copy & paste this to your wall so I can leave a word"

Ha, yeah, instant unfriend, also confusing as hell. Copy and paste, but add ONE word about how they met? Like at the end it would just say ''tree'' or ''street'' or ''doggystyle''?

"Is 'crack house' one word or two?"

I think what it's trying to say is: "Leave a word in the comments section saying how we met, then copy-paste this message into your own status so that I can leave a word on yours saying how we met." So the only way you can prove your friendship to this person is to impose the same friendship test on all your other friends...

facebook is the worst

i don't have any data to back this up but i feel like there was a moment recently when facebook entered its decline -- like i can more easily envision its passing over to the land of myspace, friendster, etc. i mean, everyone know it would pass eventually but i feel like it's going to be sooner? no one seems excited about it anymore. i could be wrong though. i dont know what the kids are doing these days

The kids want nothing to do with Facebook, apparently.

I'm starting to see the same signs I saw with Flickr. Hit someone's profile, and yeah, they're still commenting on others' posts or posting a link to Between Two Ferns, but look at their albums. Seeing a lot of ones where the last one updated is something like "Christmas 2012" or "At the Lake 2013".

I'm finally at the point where I have Facebook friends and Instagram friends. I don't know what will come next to tie everything back together, but it seems really segmented right now and Facebook -- with its older audience, news feeds in the corner about Will Wheaton and menu bar full of apps that seemed to have come from out of nowhere -- is looking very Prodigy-like lately.

The counterpoint to that "the kids don't use facebook" argument is that we don't know that they won't start using it more when they get older. Snapchat and tumblr aren't of much use for creating a page to share pictures of your baby with family, tracking down your high school classmates, etc.

But obvs that doesn't mean that something isn't going to come along that fills those purposes better

I gotta feel that the latter will come true before the former.

everyone shut up i don't know where else to put this but i need to put it somewhere

http://s9.postimg.org/rq8wqvf4v/cleveland.jpg

<<<enter evil>>> you walked right into my trap and set up this next remark

brb, adding this to my browser macros for easy ilx posting

Cleveland jokes wow so edgy such humor wow

you walked right into my trap and set up this next remark

i'm so lonely

lonely lonely lonely LONELY. Now I am a troll.._.

or Sting.

seriously i don't understand why people still find cleveland jokes funny

detroit gets all the depression glamour and cleveland just gets the same tired burning river jokes

smoking a blu is like smoking crack. exactly, precisely

Cleveland sure has a lot of people traps.

ahaha, my clever ploy of doubting the Indians' opening day attendance has lured him in. Now I must be patient, wait for just the right moment...

Ooooh, mad one! We see your trap. You can never escape.. your Cleveland. Submit with honor to a duel with my next remark!

*doffs fedora*

Cleveland sure has a lot of people traps.

― pplains

Dance as though no one is watching you. Sing as though no one can hear you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Live as though heaven is on earth.

Whatever Belinda Carlisle.

Belinda was not talking about some airy metaphysical/metaphorical thing, she insisted on the absolute knowledge that heaven IS a place on earth

She wasn't sure what it was worth though.

based on the principle that they say in heaven love comes first, she is making the logical error of assuming that if she is somewhere where love comes first that place is necessarily heaven.

i dunno because again that appeal to one of the necessary attributes of Heaven - that love comes first - is immediately used as a demand that Heaven MUST BE BUILT, ON EARTH, and not left as an imaginary form of pacification

http://blog.petflow.com/this-is-a-video-everyone-needs-to-see-for-the-first-time-in-my-life-im-speechless/

"This Is A Video EVERYONE Needs To See. For The First Time In My Life, I'm Speechless.
“This media we call social is anything but, when we open our computers and it’s our doors we shut”… This is one of the most vital messages that everyone needs to hear.

Look Up is a spoken word for the “online” generation. Written, performed and directed by Gary Turk, it is an extremely important life lesson for our youth. Children are growing up in a world where they don’t play outside or communicate with their friends. It seems today everything is done via text message or over the internet. It’s heartbreaking… I feel guilty myself. We need to spread this message before it’s too late. Please do your part and SHARE it with everyone you know."

before it's too late!!!

the “online” generation

"'Cos we're the "online" generation,
and we've got something to Tweet... "

They call them the 'Telephone Generation'. For the Telephone Generation, the same amount of time has elapsed since the founding of the Lawn Tennis Association in 1888 as the declaration of war on Spain by England in 1762. To the Telephone Generation, arable enclosure is just a way of life. They do not know what it means to send a telegram or cast their own spearheads from bronze alloys. Feeling old yet?

During a robbery, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: “Don’t move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.”

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called “Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!”

This is called “Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): “Big brother, let’s count how much we got.”

The older robber rebutted and said: “You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!”

This is called “Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called “Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.”

This is called “Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: “We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!”

This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!”

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called “Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!”

So who are the real rapers here?

When a clerk asked for a moment to pray with the robber and another clerk was adamant that the robber promise to spare their lives, he shouted "Be quiet or I'll lock you in the vault!"

There's an alternate Line 3 for you, Mr. Randy Strawman, Internet Essayist.

But the supervisor said to him: “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”. This is called “Moneybags.”

They Pulled Over And Started Playing For The Cows - I Can't Believe What Happened Next!

A Guy Cools A Coke For 3 Hours and Pours. You'll NEVER Believe What Poured Out!

article title is "This Sodahack Is The King Of Party Tricks." fuck you san francisco globe

lol You'll Be Amazed What Happens To This Tooth Kept In A Glass Of Coca Cola For A Few Days

― UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Monday, January 20, 2014 7:58 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i mean seriously we've reached this point

When Presented With This Vague Promise of Entertainment, You Won't Believe How Many Gullible People Fall For It!

My sister-in-law posted this today...it has a headline written in That Style, but it is otherwise transcendent:

https://vine.co/v/MgZ3l1AtnOm

At First I Thought It Was Written In That Style....But What I Read Next Was Transcendent

The King Of All Men Saw Something Drowning In The Ocean. And I Still Can't Believe What He Did.

What he did...whoa.

I wonder if I'd hate these as much if they Didn't Capitalize Words Like In, The, And Of.

ILXor Mookieproof was RTing some of these from https://twitter.com/SavedYouAClick Good stuff.

Saved You A Click @SavedYouAClick · 5h
St. Maarten RT @HuffingtonPost: What happens when you put a working airport RIGHT next to a tourist beach

Saved You A Click @SavedYouAClick · 15h
Drinking alcohol. RT @MensHealthMag: The habit that ages you:

Saved You A Click @SavedYouAClick · Jun 13
Dancing dinosaur says racism is bad. RT @ClickHole: This Video Seems Silly, But It Makes a Good Point

i am so happy about clickhole

24 Statements That Get More True The Longer You Think About Them

oh wow

it's the reaction gifs that take from dumbest thing ever to actual clickhole material

need a script that inserts one of those gifs every time someone posts to the truthbombs thread

i'm having trouble understanding why ppl 'like' things that are posted by nonhuman entities/corporations/etc? like. it isn't getting bookmarked. it does nothing for you. you're not making someone feel good.

basically i'm just really annoyed at this one friend who likes every single esquire.com article thereby forcing every single horrible esquire.com article onto my wall

16. What if the Egyptians didn’t actually revere cats, but only jokingly did like we do on the internet?

xp so you just answered your own question!

23. 1980 is as far away as 2048.

this statement actually gets less true the longer you think about it, think about it

OMG I HAVE BLOWN YOUR MIND

http://blog.petflow.com/14-grandparents-walked-on-stage-the-judges-werent-impressed-until-they-did-this

:[

I almost feel like I'm part of the problem if I click on that.

i'm not actually viewing that so i don't if those are verified grandparents or not but i'm so annoyed by the tendency to call all old people "grandparents" when their lack of grandparentness has nothing to do with whatever it is they're doing, as if old people who do not have kids who also had kids look different from normal old people (obv the actual assumption is all old people have grandkids)

One of my aunts was a grandparent before age 40.

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t1.0-9/1549339_695217307167998_1216709721_n.jpg

Paste whatever is still on your clipboard in the comments below, unless you're a coward.

"Eight hundred and fifty classic rock song titles? Well, if you say so!"

...zing?

Universal Energy

http://s11.postimg.org/uxaj5pk4j/noize.png

http://www.worthytoshare.com/he-told-his-loving-wife-he-wants-a-divorce#

isn't that one a mainstay of this/other Facebook threads? It's so utterly bizarre

i confess i didn't pay enough attention to this thread to have seen it before

well more that I'm sure it's been doing the rounds for ages! and people must still be posting it!
BUT WHY

oh i understand. i don't know! it's not even remotely sense-making!

I still see it at least once a year, and it makes no more sense now than it did the first time I trudged through it.

so someone shared a video of animals being killed at a factory farm and then captioned it "Don't watch!!!"

http://www.tickld.com/x/zach-galifianakis-might-have-been-the-funny-guy-but-this-is-amazing

^ why you hate that?

because i am such a jerk

There's an image-story thing going around about how Zach Galifianakis, and starts with "Zach Galifianakis Might Have Been The Funny Guy As The One Man..." and I was really hoping it was a Clickhole parody that would go on to detail everything crappy and un-funny he's done since then. Unfortunately it's about him being a hero to a homeless person.

http://www.tickld.com/x/zach-galifianakis-might-have-been-the-funny-guy-but-this-is-amazing

― flatizza (harbl), Saturday, September 6, 2014 12:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^ why you hate that?

― Aimless, Saturday, September 6, 2014 1:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

because i am such a jerk

― flatizza (harbl), Saturday, September 6, 2014 3:39 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There's an image-story thing going around about how Zach Galifianakis, and starts with "Zach Galifianakis Might Have Been The Funny Guy As The One Man..." and I was really hoping it was a Clickhole parody that would go on to detail everything crappy and un-funny he's done since then. Unfortunately it's about him being a hero to a homeless person.

― Doctor Casino, Sunday, September 7, 2014 2:28 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

trenchant social commentary?

hahaha ok totally missed that, i don't read urls anymore btw, ilx should display all HTML as a series of images in a long vertical strip

john mclaughlin video where he says in not these exact words but man the world sucks cos musos don't get paid mad money for playing arse backwards jazz noodling. govt funds orchestras therefore govt must fund jazz.
i mean, can you imagine?
of course jazz noodlers & musos think the world should lap up their solipsistic widdling for $$$ for their entire life span, so cries of "hear hear!", "tell it like it is!" abound.

SOMEONE. MAKE IT STOP.

http://imgur.com/a/eTtNu?gallery

http://i.imgur.com/dj2PBmA.jpg

huh, this guy went to my high school (but I didn't know him personally). feel like imgur glurge should be its own thread.

http://elitedaily.com/sports/30-things-can-tell-boyfriend-based-nfl-team-supports/760163/

i want to send that into outer space so aliens can find it and judge us for what we truly are

Samantha Perez · Cheney, Washington
So not true. And really. Seahawks fans are not loyal most are not real fans. The ones that are loyal are Cowboys fans we will always be fans no matter what happens. You need to get you facts right before stereotype fans

13 PROBLEMS WITH PORK

1) A pig is a real garbage gut. It will eat anything including urine, excrement, dirt, decaying animal flesh, maggots, or decaying vegetables. They will even eat the cancerous growths off other pigs or animals.

2) The meat and fat of a pig absorbs toxins like a sponge. Their meat can be 30 times more toxic than beef or venison.

3) When eating beef or venison, it takes 8 to 9 hours to digest the meat so what little toxins are in the meat are slowly put into our system and can be filtered by the liver. But when pork is eaten, it takes only 4 hours to digest the meat. We thus get a much higher level of toxins within a shorter time.

4) Unlike other mammals, a pig does not sweat or perspire. Perspiration is a means by which toxins are removed from the body. Since a pig does not sweat, the toxins remain within its body and in the meat.

5) Pigs and swine are so poisonous that you can hardly kill them with strychnine or other poisons.

6) Farmers will often pen up pigs within a rattlesnake nest because the pigs will eat the snakes, and if bitten they will not be harmed by the venom.

7) When a pig is butchered, worms and insects take to its flesh sooner and faster than to other animal's flesh. In a few days the swine flesh is full of worms.

Swine and pigs have over a dozen parasites within them, such as tapeworms, flukes, worms, and trichinae. There is no safe temperature at which pork can be cooked to ensure that all these parasites, their cysts, and eggs will be killed.

9) Pig meat has twice as much fat as beef. A 3 oz T bone steak contains 8.5 grams of fat; a 3 oz pork chop contains 18 grams of fat. A 3 oz beef rib has 11.1 grams of fat; a 3 oz pork spare rib has 23.2 grams of fat.

10) Cows have a complex digestive system, having four stomachs. It thus takes over 24 hours to digest their vegetarian diet causing its food to be purified of toxins. In contrast, the swine's one stomach takes only about 4 hours to digest its foul diet, turning its toxic food into flesh.

11) The swine carries about 30 diseases which can be easily passed to humans. This is why God commanded that we are not even to touch their carcase (Leviticus 11:8).

12) The trichinae worm of the swine is microscopically small, and once ingested can lodge itself in our intestines, muscles, spinal cord or the brain. This results in the disease trichinosis. The symptoms are sometimes lacking, but when present they are mistaken for other diseases, such as typhoid, arthritis, rheumatism, gastritis, MS, meningitis, gall bladder trouble, or acute alcoholism.

13) The pig is so poisonous and filthy, that nature had to prepare him a sewer line or canal running down each leg with an outlet in the bottom of the foot. Out of this hole oozes pus and filth his body cannot pass into its system fast enough. Some of this pus gets into the meat of the pig.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purity_and_Danger

Hmm, bacon.

That list perfectly explains why every civilization that allowed pigs to be cultivated and eaten disappeared from the earth long ago. And why there are so many rattlesnakes nowadays.

Oh man that pig list...

PIGS ARE FILTHY ANIMALS

THIS IS WHY I LOVE LIVING IN CALIFORNIA *heart emoticons*

(Uploads photo of smoggy sunset over a concrete industrial area wasteland)

#myview #nofilter

This is one of the SADDEST stories ever told in Hollywood. His name is Sylvestar Stallone. One of the BIGGEST and Most famous American Movie superstars. Back in the day,Stallone was a
struggling actor in every definition. At some point,he got so broke that he stole his wife's jewellery and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes,he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to any
stranger. He didnt have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold it at $25 only. He says he walked away crying.

Two weeks later,he saw a boxing match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner and that match gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie,ROCKY. He wrote the
script for 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in
the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR. Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR.

They said he "Looked funny and talked funny". He left with his script. Afew weeks later,the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie. But NOT him. He said NO. He had to be
IN THAT MOVIE.

After a while,the studio agreed,gave him $35,000 for the script and let him star in it! The rest is history! The movie won Best Picture,Best Directing and Best Film Editing at the prestigious
Oscar Awards. He was even nominated for BEST ACTOR! The Movie ROCKY was even inducted into the American National Film Registry as one of the greatest movies ever!

And do You know the first thing he bought with the $35,000? THE DOG HE SOLD. Yes,Stallone LOVED HIS DOG SO MUCH that he stood at the liquor store for 3 days waiting for the man he sold
his dog to. And on the 3rd day,he saw the man coming with the dog. Stallone explained why he sold the dog and begged for the dog back. The man refused. Stallone offered him $100. The
man refused. He offered him $500. And the guy refused. Yes,he refused even $1000. And,Believe it or Not,Stallone had to pay $15,000 for the same,same dog he sold at $25 only! And he
finally got his dog back!

And today,the same Stallone who slept in the streets and sold his dog JUST BECAUSE he couldnt even feed it anymore,is one of the GREATEST Movie Stars who ever walked the Earth!

Being broke is BAD. Really BAD. Have You ever had a dream? A wonderful dream? But You are too broke to implement it? Too tiny to do it? Too small to accomplish it? Damn! I've been there too many times!

Life is tough. Opportunities will pass you by,just because you are a
NOBODY. People will want your products but NOT YOU. Its a tough
world. If you aint already famous,or rich or "connected",You will find it rough.
Doors will be shut on You. People will steal your glory and crash your hopes.You will push and push. And yet NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.

And then your hopes will be crashed.You will be broke. Damn broke. You will do odd jobs for survival. You will be unable to feed yourself. And Yes,you may end up sleeping in the streets.
It happens. Yes,it does.

BUT NEVER LET THEM CRUSH THAT DREAM. Whatever happens to
You,Keep Dreaming. Even when they crush your hopes,Keep Dreaming. Even when they turn you away,Keep Dreaming.
Even when they shut you down,Keep Dreaming.

NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF EXCEPT YOURSELF! People will judge You by HOW you look. And by WHAT You have.
But please,Fight on! Fight for Your place in history. Fight for your glory. NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

Even if it means selling all your clothes and sleeping with the dogs,ITS OKAY! But AS LONG AS YOU ARE STILL ALIVE,Your STORY IS NOT OVER. TRUST ME.

Keep Up the Fight. Keep your dreams and hope alive. Go gerrit.

Like and share if inspired. Lovely day

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1045227_541386092565547_926500796_n.jpg?oh=9b3970fb30ba7d8831a18795a9741d13&oe=54BBA482&__gda__=1425356017_17d36022e4d5e90d39bb20ad951b109f

"cup the balls"

http://i.imgur.com/EJR5jjk.png

that's silly how would the bull know what the badge meant

I feel like there's a thread where this kind of thing is specifically discussed, but this bozo in Chicago is apparently the wellspring for a lot of this kind of garbage: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/01/05/virologist.

Here's one of his most popular sites: http://www.givesmehope.com/top

'emerson spartz' is a spectacular name

https://scontent-a-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/10906445_938717226146798_7862944924018863832_n.jpg?oh=6e9eb1062ad9d286acf27ec8d8598242&oe=553B39DB

(David Cross voice)
"Oh my god, they poisoned your kids, I'm so sorry for your loss that's devastating!"
"Well they're not dead."
"Oh, thank god! I guess the hospital was able to save them?"
"Well, we didn't go to the hospital."
"You didn't?! But what did you do?"
"What do you mean?"
"What did you do when they poisoned your kids?"
etc.

When I read 'monsanto' I always think of it as ChristoPHA Moltisanti

wtf

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/v/t1.0-9/1011984_702053226479772_1482281856_n.jpg?oh=5690b078088aed24275e2d67d5f5438c&oe=55228E18&__gda__=1429474663_4c39cd493db0b5b2e7f989ccba54df24

"not everyone has to change the world" -Emerson Spartz

*cough*thisistheexcludingimagemacrosthread*cough*

Spartz left before dessert, which he called “a low return on investment, calorically.”

there are several arguable money lines in this piece but I think this is my favourite

https://www.facebook.com/events/396739940484143/?source=1

https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/734408_10152043380938602_1748414695_n.jpg?oh=0aaf710ffd4cdc4f777739415870096f&oe=55FA06B5

whoops wrong thread

This is one of the SADDEST stories ever told in Hollywood. His name is Sylvestar Stallone. One of the BIGGEST and Most famous American Movie superstars. Back in the day, Stallone was a
struggling actor in every definition. At some point, he got so broke that he stole his wife's jewellery and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes, he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to any
stranger. He didn't have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold it at $25 only. He says he walked away crying.

Two weeks later,he saw a boxing match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner and that match gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie,ROCKY. He wrote the script for 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in
the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR. Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR.

They said he "Looked funny and talked funny". He left with his script. A few weeks later,the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie. But NOT him. He said NO. He had to be
IN THAT MOVIE.

After a while,the studio agreed,gave him $35,000 for the script and let him star in it! The rest is history! The movie won Best Picture, Best Directing and Best Film Editing at the prestigious
Oscar Awards. He was even nominated for BEST ACTOR! The Movie ROCKY was even inducted into the American National Film Registry as one of the greatest movies ever!

And do You know the first thing he bought with the $35,000? THE DOG HE SOLD. Yes,Stallone LOVED HIS DOG SO MUCH that he stood at the liquor store for 3 days waiting for the man he sold
his dog to. And on the 3rd day,he saw the man coming with the dog. Stallone explained why he sold the dog and begged for the dog back. The man refused. Stallone offered him $100. The
man refused. He offered him $500. And the guy refused. Yes,he refused even $1000. And,Believe it or Not,Stallone had to pay $15,000 for the same,same dog he sold at $25 only! And he
finally got his dog back!

And today,the same Stallone who slept in the streets and sold his dog JUST BECAUSE he couldn't even feed it anymore,is one of the GREATEST Movie Stars who ever walked the Earth!

Being broke is BAD. Really BAD. Have You ever had a dream? A wonderful dream? But You are too broke to implement it? Too tiny to do it? Too small to accomplish it? Damn! I've been there too many times!

Life is tough. Opportunities will pass you by,just because you are a
NOBODY. People will want your products but NOT YOU. Its a tough
world. If you ain't already famous, or rich or "connected", You will find it rough.

Doors will be shut on You. People will steal your glory and crash your hopes. You will push and push. And yet NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.

And then your hopes will be crashed. You will be broke. Damn broke. You will do odd jobs for survival. You will be unable to feed yourself. And Yes, you may end up sleeping in the streets.
It happens. Yes, it does.

BUT NEVER LET THEM CRUSH THAT DREAM. Whatever happens to
You, Keep Dreaming. Even when they crush your hopes, Keep Dreaming. Even when they turn you away, Keep Dreaming.
Even when they shut you down, Keep Dreaming.

NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF EXCEPT YOURSELF! People will judge You by HOW you look. And by WHAT You have.
But please, Fight on! Fight for Your place in history. Fight for your glory. NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

Even if it means selling all your clothes and sleeping with the dogs, ITS OKAY! But AS LONG AS YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, Your STORY IS NOT OVER. TRUST ME.

Keep Up the Fight. Keep your dreams and hope alive. Go great .

Like and share if inspired. Lovely day people!

sly sounds like a piss-poor negotiator. great role model.

i mean i guess he did get his movie made and all that, but $15,000 for a dog, how did he let the guy talk him up that high, smdh

at the prestigious
Oscar Awards.

the origin of your name thing

:|

The origin of the name Aimless is a matter of historic record.

Tis the season for buying homeless people meals or hugging sad cashiers and posting that shit to social media so that everyone knows how wonderful you are.

this is better for that 77 thread but i'm not on 77 anymore so

http://drinksfeed.com/bacon-shot-glasses-dipped-in-chocolate-and-filled-with-whisky/

"friends day" videos

A friend of mine did a long series of selfies with Shaq Soda cans, and a good chunk of his friends day video was made up of that.

http://www.bevreview.com/wp-content/comingsoon_arizona_sodashaq_creamsoda1.jpg

haha that is a+

i saw my friends day video and i didn't recognize two of the people, also one of the photos was of david bowie and another one was of a painting of a dog.

i don't have the right thread for this. my friend, who is a very straight-shooting matter of fact person just had a baby with his wife (this is their first). he posted the facebook album of photos of course, and the album is titled "New Child" and this just keeps cracking me up.

and now something that belongs on this thread

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said "I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you."

"Of course I can," said the father.

It's not always anger, it is your actions in general. There are no "fresh starts" in life. There is no new beginning. Forgiveness comes easy for many people but the scars of the past, they never go away. Watch what you do today, because sometimes the price isn't worth the reward.

It's not always anger, it is your actions in general.

I'm standing motionless in a locked room until the end of time

"Son, as a reward for not losing your temper today, I am making you go pry nails out of a fence."

#boymom

just saw someone share an old World News Daily Report item entitled SAUDI ARABIA: FAMOUS RACEHORSE TO BE EXECUTED FOR BEING HOMOSEXUAL and comment "Brass Eye level of stupidity"

ironyyyyy!

ex coworker just went through some kind of bad breakup, posting like 20 of these aday :/

https://i.imgur.com/kJwM1iq.jpg

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was he replied, “I’m too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than her too.”
The teacher took him to the principal’s office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet. The teacher and Johnny both agreed.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Johnny: “9.”
Principal: “6 x 6?”
Johnny: “36.”
And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally after about an hour he told the teacher “I see no reason Johnny can’t go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right.”
The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agree.
Teacher: “What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?”
Johnny: “Legs”
Teacher: “What do you have in your pants that I don’t have?”
The principal gasps but before he can stop him from answering Johnny says, “Pockets.”
Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Johnny: “Pants.”
Teacher: “What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?”
Johnny: “Firetruck.”
The principal breaths a big sigh of relief and says “Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself.”

http://emojipedia-us.s3.amazonaws.com/cache/2b/ac/2bacdc9269f34c79dec4dd966b8dac57.png

A dog does.... pants?

Dogs pant

dog-pants joke depends on excluding the subject of the sentence ("It pants" would convey the sense more clearly + spoil the joke) which I can see feeling somehow incomplete or incorrect, grammatically, but in the context of "answering a trick question" I let it slide

weird how such processes happen completely 'under the radar' -- until something goes wrong & communication breaks down (cf Heidegger on the ontological status of tools)

...why am i explaining jokes to people on ilx, instesad of laughing at jokes in another 30-minute netflix comedy program?

"instesad: the app for when you would prefer to be sad instead

hahaha

thanks both of you. yeah i get the joke now but once it failed to land it just got stuck in the throat as it were.

please stop with this hilarious Mass thing

how tf am I still seeing people posting/being tagged in shitty ads for discounted Ray-Bans on facebook in 2017?

[I know it's unintentional but come on]

https://scontent.fphl2-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/19756702_1599164503448724_6422587242939143484_n.jpg?oh=e07eb664149a28e8f026d2baf064eb56&oe=59F9BCB7

That's horrible. I feel bad for the ellipses.

haven't been on facebook properly for ages. decided to start posting again to keep in touch with friends and family with whom i wouldn't otherwise keep in touch. now in an argument with some 'be nice to tories otherwise they won't vote for you' centrist bullshit friends. :/

if by "being nice", they meant don't carve your initials in their backside with a razor, or waterboard them, or repeatedly slap them about the face and head, then your centrist friends have a valid point and are not entirely out of line, imo.

otoh, if they meant do not challenge tories when they talk nonsense, or spout racism/sexism, or cite non-existent 'facts' or blatantly incorrect 'history', or merely indulge in mean-spiritedness, then fuck 'em.

tbh aimless i think this was the crux of the argument. i wasn't so sure about the initials on the backside or the slapping i'm afraid.

i mean wasn’t so sure about them being bad.

Is there a way to change your visibility settings so it doesn't show everyone when you're going to an event? I find FB helpful to keep track of what shows I'm going to but I don't like that it clutters up peoples' feeds every time I add a danged event.

https://i.imgur.com/LdBcelY.jpg