Rolling Worst Music of 2016 - Making That Meghan Trainor Money

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNQVLzlp9Bk
kanye's take on "jumpman" - "facts"

Rolling Worst Songs of 2016 Thread Spotify Playlist
^ will update in early February

not gonna listen to this on purpose but I'm sure it qualifies:

http://noisey.vice.com/blog/iggy-azalea-s-azillion-is-2016-s-first-real-stinker

Honestly, that Iggy Azalea song might be one of the better Iggy songs I've heard, and probably also better than Facts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtoVQXkLHuk
in case anyone thinks i'm being petty, her live version has a quarter million views and this is being promoted on spotify's front page "new music"

American Idol, or just a YouTube personality?

Lana del Chapman

youtube i think but they're trying to turn her into someone

Jesus, how did we miss that Natalie La Rose/Jeremih song from last year anyway? SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!

a lot of ppl on here like that song actually

Some trancecore band updates Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_16Ws1vYoc0

Jesus, how did we miss that Natalie La Rose/Jeremih song from last year anyway? SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!

that song is fucking amazing

the full song isn't online yet but Steven Tyler's latest solo single "Red, White & You" is already charting on country stations:
https://clyp.it/vn1e1eq5

oh boy

as if country radio listeners don't have it bad enough

former AMERICAN IDOL judge pulls a Kristy Lee Cook

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzC3_QN7028

Jesus, how did we miss that Natalie La Rose/Jeremih song from last year anyway? SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!

― how's life, Thursday, January 14, 2016 12:15 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I first heard this at a Bat Mitzvah last weekend. V appropriate DJ selection for a room full of 13-year-olds, I thought.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdzTsiRnkOM

why is he enunciating his rs so well and making ersatz tom petty references??? :,(

I ran out, nothing else matters, You and me and the Georgia natives
Look around ‘cause it don’t get any better, Have you ever felt so alright?
Lets dance, take it slow, Tom Petty on the radio
When we’re singing about American Girls like you
When I look in your eyes, all I wanna do is…

Bang bang baby like the 4th of July, A Lightning strike in the midnight sky
Don’t give a damn about the summertime blues, All I need is red white and you
Peel off those colors babe, tell me you’re gonna stay
American girls making dreams come true
All I need is red white and

You pulling me a little bit closer, Heart beating like a big bass drum
We spinning’ on a roller coaster, A “Free Fallin’” into your yum yum yum
All the bad girls rockin’ those cut off jeans, and good old boys driving Big Machines
And you can kiss my ass, can’t help but say, it’s good to be “Born in the USA”

Bang bang baby like the 4th of July, A Lightning strike in the midnight sky
Don’t give a damn about the summertime blues, All I need is red white and you
Peel off those colors babe, tell me you’re gonna stay
American girls making dreams come true
All I need is red white and

Baby…
What we gonna do
Honey, I don’t give a damn about the summer time blues
All I need is…

Bang bang baby like the 4th of July, A Lightning strike in the midnight sky
Don’t give a damn about the summertime blues, All I need is red white and you
Peel off those colors babe, tell me you’re gonna stay
American girls making dreams come true
All I need is red white and you

Baby
Baby
All I need is red white and
You
Don’t give a damn about the summer time blues
All I need is red white and you.

And here I thought someone was just posting that Macklemore song again.

immediately closed tab after the "SWEET POTATO PIIIIE" adlib

“Free Fallin’” into your yum yum

anyway that trance-joel-reboot-thingy is slightly more horrible than fast car imo

Jasmine Thompson has already had a UK #2 hit thanks to a remix of her "Ain't Nobody" cover, so she's definitely on her way. Someone's beaten her to doing a dance remix of "Fast Car" though (and is currently #2 in Australia)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjnadPBMJGs

Yeah I was super confused when looking at the iTunes chart recently and saw that 2 dance versions of fast car were in the top 20 (chapman's own song had risen to about #40 also)

what a time to be alive

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cs9jP2ILOw

that one sounds p good to me

Listening to Jasmine Thompson I'm just wondering whether she actually intends to sing like that or, if not, who exactly she's trying to sound like. The way she pronounces the *actual title of the song* is the most grating part.

Also, how it possible to make the lyrics of We Didn't Start The Fire even more stupid? I wouldn't have thought it could be done.

Cops are falling out of line
Congress running out of time
Ceiling being raised again
Who cares were broke anyway
Donald Trump, Hilary
Change is what we realy need
Drone Strikes, Neon Lights
American dreams

Bruce`s name is caitlyn now
Go ahead and show us how
The hardest thing for women is
Finding what to wear
Miley Cyrus free the breast
Kanye West for president
Charlie Sheen HIV
Tiger blood that what you mean!?

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Gun laws GMO`s
Lamar ODOM, smart phones
Whoever said money was the answer that you need?
Middle east, Syria refugees hysteria
Seeking your asylum never seemed so fucking hard
Russian plane taken down
None of us are safe and sound
Even Christmas parties are a terrible affair

Charlie Hebdo Heresy
going down in infamy
ISIS at the rock show
Paris wont take anymore

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Justin Bieber`s back again
Lebron James` balding head
Gay Marriage all the way
Malaysian Airlines disappeared
Tom Brady`s deflated balls
Adele and her a thousand calls
Chris Pratt, Jurassic World
Hover boards and Star Wars

Earthquakes, handshakes
Making deals with high stakes
Global warming, habits forming
Giving what you take
Do we realize what it takes?
Lives matter every race
Michael Brown blown away
What else do have to say!?

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

oh dear lord please tell me those aren't real

They are. I watched that whole video in a kind of fascinated horror.

I mean, the content of the lyrics is bad enough, but they're so lazy that they don't even *try* to make it scan or match the original pacing.

I watched it twice, mostly to make sure that I wasn't having some dreadful hallucination the first time through.

they flipped the 'what else do i have to say' and 'i can't take it anymore' constructs

sigh

also jasmine thompson is clearly in the ellie goulding mold

As there isn't a thread for "this exists?!?", here's the hair metal song the balloon hoax boy has made about his experience. Don't worry, topic purists, it's pretty fucking bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVbV_Sis99o

also jasmine thompson is clearly in the ellie goulding mold

Ah, that explains why I couldn't place it - I've been avoiding Ellie Goulding since I first heard her nails-down-blackboard wickle giwl voice.

Clearly. they locked the kid in a room while "Sweating Bullets" played on an endless loop. This may be one of the more abusive families ever.

so Mike Posner is back on the Hot 100

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDJf0p4yQek

bleh, this is the sort of song I can't even dislike, I just feel bad for the dude. even if he went to duke

Millennials are already having midlife crises?

That song makes me think of this anti smut group: http://www.fightthenewdrug.org

Hashtag IRL by Throwing Shade

OMG it's about social media WTF?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahwQhkvMFuI

cosign, meant to post this but forgot

Ugh. 'Honeytrap' by her was one of my favourite tracks of last year. I actually still like the music on that one, but yeah, the motif is ridiculously shallow/stupid.

I seem to only come to these threads with songs whose merits I'm confused about.

Naomi Elizabeth - Do You Ever Feel Like You Might Be Cool
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYZE037e9Zc

Unlistenable garbage with a positive message is still unlistenable garbage. Does that help?

Re: masterpieces from January

Iggy Azalea's "Azillion" - um, maybe not *the* worst, but it does sound ridiculous. If they'd put more thought into it, they could've stumbled across a much better rhyme scheme like "incarceration", "nation" and "appreciation". It's got a few problems, anyway. (The n-word soundalike being the most egregious oversight.)

"We Didn't Start the Fire" - burning records in a furnace is never pleasant, but if only the DJs in the '80s had had more nous, they really could've cut this song off at the source. In defence of this version, it's quite well produced and is pretty much in the spirit of the original. But fuck 'em both.

"Red White and You" - ooh, a rock version of "Marvin Gaye" (country, w/e). I knew the thread shouldn't have been named after Meghan, her influence grows by the day.

"Fast Car" - who cares

Throwing Shade - almost feels like it belongs in Earliest mention of the internet in a song or title , the phrases are so clichéd. But I'll reserve criticism until I know whether the archaisms are part of a conceptual joke, or something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjknndcGitI

xTheOxx 5 hours ago
Didn't like Peter Cetera then, don't like him now either.

Al Bhed 4 hours ago
umm.....I like this song and all, but the video kinda implies that Cee Lo wanted to fuck that panda

playlist is up to date with what's on spotify thus far. Back in a month.
ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

"mercy" is awesome wtf

Speaking of pandas:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvRzBQtHlYE

that's pretty inoffensive all things considered.

The entirety of the new Bloc Party album that came out on Friday.

Devour your morsel 'cause I'm a maaaaaaaan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1i6EDj5FkM

Most of the album (judging by YT) isn't as funny/misjudged as it could've been. Maybe if they'd called it Urban Hymns II: Grab My Pamphlet

enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7ay31B-1PI

lock thread.

Sounds like somebody really enjoyed that half of a Death Grips song they heard on their friend's computer.

that mouth

Al Jourgensen's new thing, Surgical Meth Machine, is basically late 80s Ministry crossed with gabber. I'm listening to the album now, and it's awful. It includes a cover of Devo's "Gates of Steel" that's just depressingly bad. Also, Jello Biafra is on it.

Thank you Singles Jukebox for alerting me Lukas Graham has a song climbing the Billboard charts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHCob76kigA

Which means that Strip No More might not be that far behind.

I also learned that Lukas Graham is a group, not a person, which makes me hate them even more.

there's a what in the who

Al Jourgensen's new thing, Surgical Meth Machine, is basically late 80s Ministry crossed with gabber

this sounds awesome as a concept but i also don't ever want to investigate it

lukas graham is such crap, apologies from denmark

wouldn't it be more logical to sing "when I was 7 yrs old" and not "once" btw?

It's okay, America has shipped over more than its share of shit music to the rest of the world.

Holy shit, when is this from, it is the worst
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXRviuL6vMY

released in 2015 but a huge top ten hit in 2016

are these the same guys who did that video that appeared on a Rolling Worst Music thread like three years ago where the guy shaves his head and puts on a balaclava? I didn't realise that they actually had a career

Those guys are really popular with the Warped Tour/Alternative Press crowd. (I don't hate that song.)

i hate how he says Goo Dole Days

i guess that's the least horrible twenty one pilots song i've ever heard

it is an awful song, hopefully i will never hear another one of theirs if it is supposedly one of their better ones

flo rida has another stinker that could challenge for #1 in coming weeks

i hate how he says Goo Dole Days

― qualx, Sunday, February 14, 2016 4:58 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

for a while I thought it was good dope days, like some kind of heavy drug song.

Goo Doll Days

Easy Target:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvGUwdqthio

I made it all the way to "Goo Dole Days" (even through that handshake) and turned it off.

wait did you cut it off right at goo dole days and miss the part about his momma singing him to sleep?

twenty one pilots are awful

"tear in my heart" was nice, i'm open to the possibility that they'd be a decent band if that dude never rapped

Oh God, Kula Shaker came back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UrJGZExIeU

heard that Goo Dole Days song at the bar a couple days ago and everyone was singing along.

Playlist updated:

ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

I suppose it was inevitable that the "sharing economy" propagandic bullshit would make its way, however loosely, into song concepts. can't find a real job, ladies? don't worry, you can spend your time cheerily sexting your boyfriend, who has retconned "Bo$$"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GL9JoH4Sws

https://open.spotify.com/track/0NmeI6UpRE27dxxgosD5n9

meghan trainor wanted to make her own meghan trainor money

you know, the beat on this is fine! but the fact that it has to be sung by a woman who's aping sorority girls on youtube in order to get any pop heat is really disquieting

a white woman

obv

she truly is the whitest

every time i see her name i laugh at the music industry

from 2015 technically but getting the sort of hype that only comes of depressing mining of unmined territory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcyFJLrBVhA

danish media up it's own ass wrt lukas graham's inexplicable success in the US adds harm to injury, the worst music is sometimes the worst music that's really really popular

The Lukas Graham song isn't so much awful as completely forgettable - it's scrubbed itself from my brain since last night and I have no need to ever hear it again.

The Madeintyo track makes me go "is this as terrible as I think, or am I just aging and out of touch?" I mean, I'm sure what I consider gold standard hip-hop - Nas, Rakim, Kool Keith, etc. - sounds like grandpa music to today's teens...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYAuR5bkIlQ

Madeintyo track sounds like the second-tier third-wave ska-punk of rap, but I bet he can ride out that skoo skoo thing for a couple more songs.

I almost posted that exact Simpsons clip!!!!

I recently encountered a M&M's commercial with this monstrosity:

https://soundcloud.com/zedd/candyman

Little Big = Russia's answer to Die Antwoord, I guess?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i63cgUeSsY0

dreadful, some ok visual gags but so unfunny... also sounds terrible

so yeah, good contender (couldn't sit through all 2:55)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSTRTv0xVlU

amusing that she has such a damaged public image that it's gotten smarter for her to ventriloquize through a bunch of better dancers (who are totally coincidentally PoC i'm sure) and not show up in her own video. call it the "sorry" maneuver.

I like john crowley too much to ever listen to that little big song lest it spoil things

lol, that's true ulysses

(Dance Video)

Has "I Took a Pill in Ibiza" made this thread yet?

I believe it was on last year's thread

t'was.

http://perezhilton.com/2016-03-24-meghan-trainor-watch-me-do-new-song-audio

:(

lyrics & the fact that it's meghan trainor aside, this isn't that bad

i mean yeah it's more that she's essentially acting as a jargon-spewing colonizer in a time when women who came up in r&b can't even get traction in their own format, let alone pop

The horn bit isn't offensive. The rest, though...

So... Lukas and the Grahams are stars now? Should we be proud of them? I've always thought of them as "dweebs" rather than "rotters", but it's quite an odd success story. UK number 1, U.S. #3 but U.S. sales #1... That disparity is easily explained, as "7 Years" has the kind of wise wise message that demands to be downloaded or vinyled. AND it's got an original sound not heard since Daniel Powter's "Bad Day". (Not sure where they ripped off the piano line from... Something wise anyway.)

"Work from Home" is appalling shite, and therefore very thread-appropriate. That cheery denialism that Katherine talks about is pretty depressing, at least when heard in isolation. Apparently Fifth Harmony were a lot more conscious of gender relations (or less naive) on their previous album?

Iggy Azalea's "Team" - well, it's encouraging that there was clearly no ghostwriter involved, but printing all the lyrics in the video not a good idea on this song. The backing track and the dancing are great – maybe the vid should've just been those. The rest isn't even as good as the Funny Girls comedy rapping that Iggy both inspired and tried to emulate.

It was posted a while ago, but Say Anything seems like a very interesting artist. He raises big questions, like "How can the guy stand to listen to his own voice, let alone record an entire album?" A fine achievement. Further research could be carried out, but it's not advisable for anybody.

The Uber song, uh, let's just say I don't get any of it, including the title. Is it worth explaining?

Really can't be bothered worrying about yet another pathetic "Large Penis" song. It's even listed as a genre on Apple Music nowadays.

wasn't there another russian song bragging about big dick a few years ago? google is unsurprisingly turning up other things so i'll probably never find it again. i don't remember it being as bad as the one upthread.

Playlist updated up to end of March:

ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

just putting this here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVGRN7Z7T1A

infuriating from the very first syllable

For some reason on second listen the song doesn't seem that bad?

gotta set the score right / callin' Hans Zimmer

lol

This came "recommended" by Oshun, who have either lost their minds or had their Soundcloud page hijacked to cross-promote, er,

"HighClass Bling" by Infinitee (Co-Prod. by Proda, well done Proda)

Horribly sung and seemingly written by stringing together a series of angry tweets, I fear this becoming huge:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnugCpTmJE8

Putrid

Kiefer Sutherland is a country singer now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7lUCghDJ7w

Lol

He's made an album, sadly it's 24 hours long.

Not enough whiskey to make that garbage sound good

I am so used to the fact that when i go into a shop some barbarous pointed garbage will pierce my soul and immediately start draining out the serenity and serotonin which thankfully is restored by trees, canal and sky relatively quickly, that i was unprepared for todays horrendous attack, the sound of a man being sick on my shoes while a dizzying putrid seasick smell starts to make the head wooze with distress, who would do this and why would it be in a public place? 'fuck you you fuck me over' the voice said, it said it many times, as the runny sick pooled all over the floor. Not for me, Clive, absolute garbage in any place

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqZ93tpSRgA

What kind of shop you were in where this was playing? lol.

I'm not trolling. This really does suck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b48zpQlLDI

What kind of shop you were in where this was playing? lol.

It was a coffee shop, I dont normally go in coffee shops, and hadnt been in this one before. Is it strange for this piece of garbage to be played in public? I dont remember what came before or after it while i wsa queueing, so I cant give more context about their choices

Hey, do you think that elementary school book report I did would make a good song?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuHdkSj5nGc

Fuck you, song.

I feel like I've been posting a lot to this thread this year, but at this point I think my personal criteria for posting should be "is this worse than, or at least as bad as, 'Lost Boy?'"

Wow, "Lost Boy" is really boring. And it's so long. I guess she was praying we would all get younger while listening to it. Billboard has wrongly called it "The Strangest Hit Song On The Please Click This".

HOWEVER, there are mitigating factors:
1. At least there's no ukuleles
2. I had just listened to "Fucked Over"

"Fucked Over", that's some true no 1 contender shit. Is it a kind of "Hotline Bling" rip-off, or is it some separate angry genre that's sprung up?

Nice as it is, to hear a worse version of "HighClass Bling" mixed with Baby Dic, but what you get is actually very annoying, sadly. (Oh wait, there may be a bit of Eamon's "Fuck It" in the mix too. The sweary bit.)

did you all notice that all the worst hits of this year have come from white artists egregiously co-opting black music? (counting lukas graham here because its wikipedia page calls the band 'ghetto-pop')

i mean i chalk it up to the whitening of pop radio in large part but still, ugh

vanilla ice in the conference room

if "lost boy" is to be considered one of the worst hits this year based on chatter in here, that is actually an example of a black woman singing a song that fits into a largely white-identified idiom

i have no idea what 'lost boy' is and have not heard it (i'm talking about trainor, g-eazy, 'seven years,' puth, etc.), although a glance at my local pop station's playlist would indicate that it's in rotation. and oh dear:

She eventually posted it, and the reaction was immediate: people wanted more. She started to add lines in Vine-able increments. “I would finish studying, come down stairs, and add a line to the chorus,” she explains. “In a week, I had a chorus, so I decided I should turn this into a full song and take it to YouTube.”

The result, built six seconds at a time, is a beatless piano ballad. Chords hang in the air, never pressing on top of each other. Ruth occasionally climbs into falsetto, but the track doesn’t have much movement or drama. Although it’s about finding friends, Ruth sings alone, and this isolation is emphasized by an echo effect. Her Neverland is a place of complete liberty -- “lost boys like me are free” -- and the singer avoids taking sides in the frequently violent squabbles that divide the island’s characters in the original story: “Peter Pan, Tinker Bell, Wendy darling, even Captain Hook/ You are my perfect storybook.”

http://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/pop/7334174/ruth-b-lost-boy-hot-100-hit-finding-neverland

hoo boy this ... yeah

that song is like some kind of balladry degree zero.

I get that there are a couple of novelties going on with this song that some people are finding worthy of discussion, but I'm still smdh @ something this amateurish actually getting airplay and warranting analysis.

lol, this is straight garbage

Playlist updated up to end of April:

ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

two car trips w top 40 stations in the last two days means i've been exposed to 'seven years' twice now. probably the most grating pop radio song i've heard since 'hey brother' but it's so deeply lodged in my skull so i feel like i've heard it 50 times already. the only joy i get from it is the goofy-ass non sequitur of "i made a man so happy when i wrote a letter once". like i get what he's saying but it (and the whole song really) sounds like a small child telling a story, so hearing that line makes me laugh and offers the smallest respite.

tried to listen to this ruth b song twice and both times i forgot it was playing, which means it's infinitely better than lukas graham who i just learnt also sung that mama don't like you song, god i hate him/them so much.

no, 'mama don't like you' is bieber.

(it's called 'love yourself.')

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcyFJLrBVhA

wow

I'm sure genius.com has an extremely helpful annotation for the 'scroot scoot' noise he makes, but...I'm not sure if I'm ready for that knowledge

lol, this is currently #7 on the itunes chart:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duXnGGGjKlA

http://www.famousbirthdays.com/people/jacob-sartorius.html

Jacob Sartorius Popularity

# 4
Most Popular Person

# 1
Instagram Star

# 1
13 Year Old

it's typical Ark Music Factory shit, except he already has legions of adoring (unironic) fans, and the inevitable backlash (like this reaction video, which got 1.5 million views in two days) is only going to drive his own subscriptions/views counts. I doubt anyone involved in its creation believes it's a good song, but that's beside the point — 3 minutes of white noise with this kid's name attached to it would have produced an identical reaction.

('vanity singles by internet stars' would be a good thread concept, but I can't think of that many)

haha, look up 5quad

lol, I love how half the audience knows every word of this song and the other half only knows the 5-second clip they heard on vine/'musical.ly'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEWz6MTNhXs

"Fucked Over" deleted from Youtube? Is nothing sacred

https://soundcloud.com/770rd/fucked-over-prod-ducko-mcfli

The fact that someone called Jacob Sartorius had a song titled "Sweatshirt" sounded very promising, until I heard it. It's a hand-me-down of a hand-me-down. He can still regain some important musical cred if he names all of his songs after garments, in increasing order of intimacy when he's reached a more mature age. (That's probably the plan.) On a less relevant note, why did Vevo allow the song to be remixed by a coked-up Noel Gallagher? Really makes that embed painful.

haha, look up 5quad

It's, it's like Michael Jackson on a budget
https://youtu.be/cMnbZ4AU60k

http://www.npr.org/2016/04/20/475025719/sister-sparrow-the-dirty-birds-tiny-desk-concert

lol holy shit

He can still regain some important musical cred if he names all of his songs after garments, in increasing order of intimacy when he's reached a more mature age. (That's probably the plan.)

Jacob Sartorialist

did you see this video though?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMTAUr3Nm6I

my ears say no, my eyes say no.

Sounds like she's downplaying her hat voice and trying for a more basic pop voice.

sounds like 2000

Yeah, very good point. It's still retro/flashback, down to the silver trench coat.

silver trench coats were a thing?

I can't think of any off the top of my head, but if you went back in time dressed like that no one would notice.

Oh, here we go.
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/39/2594/1024/missy.1.jpg

Ugh

two years in a row for meghan winning the poll, huh

'No' isn't at all original or inspired, and her voice is still annoying, but it's still significantly less annoying than her previous work - a 3/10 rather than a 0/10, and there is a lot of other 3/10 stuff out there.

Xp: obviously she's still making some of the worst music, but you may have stacked the deck by showcasing her in the thread title.

she is an axiom of bad music.

her new single "me too" makes "no" look like a masterpiece

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVFwuq44UTQ

Oh wow. Where'd you find that?

lmao

something something RHCP something gamergate something

recommended for this thread by ilxors on facebook:
Spraygun War (featuring Joshua Todd and Stevie D of Buckcherry) - "OMG"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWXCNVlYbbE

it's not very good.

that's more sad than bad (though it's very bad).

twenty one pilots are awful

― maura, Monday, February 15, 2016 3:11 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Despite the Stressed Out song, I went back to listen to their album this morning because I was reading an old Hayley Williams interview where she mentioned them briefly. I made it about 30 seconds into the opening track.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hts6PzULHSY

why do i not hate Stressed Out as much as everyone else

Because your name isn't Blurryface and you don't care what we think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahwQhkvMFuI

well that was annoying.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjfspM5sDIA

I'd never heard of the Avalanches before this week. Was their last album a steaming pile like that?

Their last album (which was released in 2000) was just boring rather than actively bad.

Self-described redneck metal band Hellyeah (one ex-member of Pantera, one ex-member of Mudvayne, some other schmucks) covering Phil Collins:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMMrMhuxqg4

Wow, today has been a fertile day for the Rolling Worst thread! One of those guys lives in my neighborhood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZlbahhoEIo

0:48 - anus in our lyric videos now?

The irritating thing about that Beck song is that I almost like it

Throwing Shade garbage song got posted already fwiw

The irritating thing about that Beck song is that I almost like it

So true.

the video's not doing it any favors

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypPSrRYOAj4

I don't have a YouTube embed, and it's not a single or anything, but the Kirk Hammett/James Hetfield version of "The Star-Spangled Banner" I just watched (Game 4 of the Stanley Cup playoffs) definitely deserves memorialization here.

is that "boomerang" thing one of those "friday" things where a talentless teenager's parents pay some dudes a few thousand bucks to create a simulation of a pop song and video?

that was my assumption (well either that or "snapchat star takes a wild stab at popstardom"), but she's actually a Dance Moms star, and "Boomerang" originally aired on that show. I'm sure it was professionally produced even though it looks/sounds like it was thrown together by scumbags over the course of a weekend.

seems less awful than generic, tho i had to bail after the first chorus

it's a bit better than those sort of child star vanity singles usually are but that's not saying much

I don't have a YouTube embed, and it's not a single or anything, but the Kirk Hammett/James Hetfield version of "The Star-Spangled Banner" I just watched (Game 4 of the Stanley Cup playoffs) definitely deserves memorialization here.

― Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Monday, June 6, 2016 8:26 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Here ya go, but it's positively beautiful compared to Flea's attempt last month.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tn-vFVik6Q4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8itum6etNcM

flea looks 100 years old

Surprised that this song had been out since April and yet hasn't shown up on here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q7FdMFWFxY

I couldn't even make it through the whole thing.

aw cmon that's kind of cute, kind of

musically it's pretty ok imo

i made it through the whole thing at least

Nah, MarkoP OTM--this is garbage. Between Halsey's "New Americana" and this, is millennial nostalgia already becoming a thing?

big guitar sounds SO MUCH like asia's "heat of the moment" (appropriate for the "grew up on MTV" line)

don't hate it, though i feel i should

Beck track would be pretty dope if they had removed all mics from the studio while recording

Nah, MarkoP OTM--this is garbage. Between Halsey's "New Americana" and this, is millennial nostalgia already becoming a thing?

― rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Thursday, June 9, 2016 10:37 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalin

There was another piece of shit just like this in the last year or two by a late 90s/early 2000s band. I'm struggling to think of it right now, but it's probably in one of the predecessor threads.

Like a Nickleback or Lighthouse kinda band.

This?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Robi0Kp-zs

good charlotte song reminded me of that one marianas trench song, "here's to the zeroes" or something. which i haven't heard more than once so maybe i don't actually remember what it sounds like

No, that wasn't it, but we can add it to the list. I think we've got a whole genre here!

We still argue about who's better
Elton John or Billy Joel
We still wonder if Kurt really
Wrote the song she sang in Hole

O_O

I couldnt make out many the words but something so horrific emanating out of one of the offices

"I'm lonely...

uh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh"

I feel really upset at this horrible music, don't they think about other people?

?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrZZfaDp02o

It wasnt that, hopefully I never hear it again and it remains a mystery

Playlist updated to now; I dare you to get through all two and a half hours. Now with 5% Meghan Trainor!

ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AQ44nPrRTM

I have been staying off the "new Ghostbusters looks like it is hot garbage" bandwagon because of how much I like the stars and want it to succeed but this song is appalling and making me want to set the entire enterprise on fire

ilikeit

oh yay now ghostbusters is a gatorade commercial

hate to say it but the Missy verse might be the most depressing bit

(i'm not afraid)

run dmc got more than 16 bars on ghostbusters pt. II, kind of weird to me that this isn't missy feat. fallout boy, right?

fuuuuuuck, that is a strong contender for worst song i've heard this year and a stronger contender for "what is 2016" for $500 alex
and here comes the missy verse. this makes "nightmare on my street" sound hard

The only surprise here is the weirdly dated sound of this thing. Like, I'm hearing a lot more late 90s-style suckage than 2016-style suckage.

There is a new crime, I am working in a cafe and there is a song called get you back by mayer hawthorne. I have a very specific picture in my head of two people in orange and yellow tshirts, there might be big festival hats, its really bad and i am having feelings of anxiety, churning inside

No more jester nihilism!

If it's any consolation, he's about to be crushed by a giant orange.

It doesn't sound that bad to me, but on repeat at work it would be terrible. Especially the Falling Down the Stairs sound effect, and the line "I got on a plane to my Emmy".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrPLAH04ILY

Interestingly, the Missy/Fall Out Boy song was finished before they even knew about the movie reboot.

death team discovers the '90s (n.b.: this may actually belong in another thread) https://soundcloud.com/deathteam/jump-1

Playlist is updated.

i guess this is just what she /does/ now -- meaningless empowerment anthems

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFIIMEe2Ht0

Katy Perry is a walking emoticon that means U R IMPORTANT

More like "O-lame-pics" amirite

(XP) Why would Death Team ever not belong in this thread? This is their home. Even if that song is better than their previous ones. Less worse, anyway. If the Beatles were still together now, that's what they'd write instead of "Hello, Goodbye".

I was wondering whether anyone in my fatherland had made any god-awful songs about Brexit. For your sake, please, FFS, don't wonder about that.

Because I think I saw someone defend it somewhere (and also because it sucks)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsUWK-fixiA

every generation gets the song it deserves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrK6QxS_ZRk

Ima wake up to my nakedness
Cause I'm walkin' on the beat yeah

All the kids are wakin' up
And they're naked when the beat drops

Goddamn.

I was wondering whether anyone in my fatherland had made any god-awful songs about Brexit. For your sake, please, FFS, don't wonder about that.

― sbahnhof, Saturday, 16 July 2016 15:03 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Well, if you leave out songs by actual Ukip supporters (which are really overqualified itt)...

...it's still pretty bad. That Stereophonics guy will have to take some of the blame for the referendum result smdh

https://youtu.be/ciSo524vIEI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciSo524vIEI

https://youtu.be/Ur7_jT-obmc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur7_jT-obmc

https://youtu.be/ffPGnXWwRew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffPGnXWwRew

https://youtu.be/h7V5lnCA7DM

El Perro Del Mar creates "All Lives Matter, the album"

Worst thing I've heard this year, even beats the balloon boy thing -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQG-ibJIKsQ

D:

So were auto tuning little kids now?

We're

320k followers on twitter can we maybe get him into space camp or in the army or something before he metastisizes?
https://twitter.com/duhitzmark/status/774652205160730625

this is a little too perfect to not be a bieber parody tbh
https://twitter.com/duhitzmark/status/768241165154017280

"Selfie" just seems like Rebecca Black version 359. Kid does look really young so I guess throw in a little of "Dur Dur D'être Bébé."

Making the rounds among some UK critics today. This is garbage beyond belief.

https://www.facebook.com/captainflatcap/videos/1081662428553023/

Aw these burner klezmer-step kids are adorable c'mon now. Not that there's any excuse for wearing a flat cap with a hoodie.

yeesh

since it relates to genre it might also belong on a Worst Music of All Time thread

this is totally fucking mexico

First, a quote from the promo email about this band: "They’re equally inspired by Slipknot and Linkin Park as they are by Travi$ Scott and Kanye West."

Now, the video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDDKaXOKo5U

You're welcome, humanity.

can't stop reading "drake complex"

huh i gotta be honest that isn't the worst. the rapper's voice is awful tho

The rapper is actually the best part of it! He sounds like Mike Muir from Suicidal Tendencies, which I find weirdly intriguing.

The rapper is my favorite, oh my god.

drake not complex

That's no worse than any other post-Deftones / 311 / Papa Roach garbage I've heard. I'm just shocked this "sound" is still a thing

I try not to get angry or depressed about easily-avoided bad music but this made me want to kill people for some reason

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT4jDn4e9lg&feature=youtu.be

when I try to play that last video I get an error message. what was it?

A new Lightning Rod signing named Paul Cauthen. Just awful. I'll try it again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT4jDn4e9lg

this is a bad album cover imo

http://upcomingvinyl.com/pics/covers/p/paul-cauthen-my-gospel.jpg

OK album cover, terrible hat.

is his gospel.... amish?

Ha! His "gospel" sounds more like an SNL parody of The Boss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqIv2tc9BCI&feature=youtu.be

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6Wq9Em8Kuk

Shahid Ghafoor3 days ago
Gym songs sorted

Ryan Snowball2 months ago
This is a banging tune

BEYBLADERAYO102 months ago
Who can hear that squeaky voice, like from spongbob which netsky and other dnb artists use? what is it saying

Yes Papa2 months ago
its a sped up james brown sample, it says "come off it" and "you bad man"

Pillymonkey2 months ago
Wish white n3rd would release more

James The Musicman3 weeks ago
This Sounds Like Let Me Be Your Fantasy By Baby D

light the whiney signal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzZ_KVrOXOg

I was just about to say 'eh, not especially bad' when suddenly some guy who murders hitch-hikers in his pick-up truck arrived at 1.30. What is he doing here, and why is anyone allowing it to happen? The next two are also bad.

It is very bad

yeah but.. uh.. they SMOKE

I was just about to say 'eh, not especially bad' when suddenly some guy who murders hitch-hikers in his pick-up truck arrived at 1.30.

according to the not especially bad guy, the serial killers name is "dirty farms"

sorry, just checked the youtube description, it's "Drrty Pharms"

of course

heh, i know those guys by proxy.

I've had nearly two decades now to confirm that Robbie Williams is something that I'll just never get, but c'mon, this is just shit...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdYGQ7B0Vew

An acknowledgement that his only remaining fans are in Eastern European backwaters, maybe?

Wait till you read the Singles Jukebox reviews this week. We're lucky it won't be a hit here

Sad to see such a terribly out of touch single from Robbie

it is bad, yes

#1 in Belgium apparently. #68 in the UK.

It's one of these ones that raises an idea that you can imagine working really well (in this case combining Montagues and Capulets with a great big stomping beat) then fucks it up so completely that you have to wonder whether it's just an idea that can't work.

a workmate of mine who adores Robbie - as in, has multiple tattoos of him - couldn't even bring herself to say more than "it's a grower."

Just going to leave this here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmqlDr-HrXw

The EastEnders theme, um... They would've done Coronation Street, but it's been exclusively licensed by Robbie Williams for a sample on his next single.

playlist isupdated, embrace the terrible

ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

it's funny how instantly outdated something like, say, the revamped ghostbusters theme or even lukas graham sounds only a few months later

also, i ran into this while cleaning up the hip hop thread and hoo boy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXfGTBVe_Kc

good grief!

So no one has commented on here about how atrocious the number 1 song in the country, "Closer" by the Chainsmokers is? Okaaayyyyy

nah that's kind of a jam

maybe if there was a Rolling Worst People

it's a bad song

so is their other one, the one with the girl who sounds like she's about to sneeze

"Closer" isn't awful, but it isn't great either - I'm just baffled by how a song so hookless has been so successful

that's just the magic of the music industry at work

It's better than "#SELFIE", that's for sure.

Debuted at #32 this week. 34 million views and counting. From their Christmas album. This is a Christmas song now. Merry Christmas!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRP8d7hhpoQ

What do you call it when five people do a melisma at the same time?

lol I thought that was going to be from Handel's Messiah and said to myself "Yeah, that's kind of Christmasy by its very nature."

that Pentatonix video makes me want to die.

it also led me to this cover of Jolene (presented by Cracker Barrel), where you can literally hear within 1 second the difference between Dolly's incredible voice and the bland whimpering of five mayonnaise human cue balls: https://youtu.be/oYCoyUxY2HY

welp, congrats thread: you killed Leonard Cohen

And now I'm looking through today's releases and noticed that the poor man's Nickelback, Theory of Dead Man, have just released a cover of Hallelujah as well.

As if 2016 didn't suck enough already, we can expect an even greater flood of "Hallelujah" covers now.

watch-arcade-fire-cover-hallelujah-bill-murray-cubs

Listening to the playlist for the first time. Feel like it really got on top of me last year when poll time rolled around.

My worst album so far is Zonkey, by Umphrey's McGee. It's a mash-up album, so at least it's timely.

WARNING: Contains an interpolation of a song that you've probably heard a billion times, but maybe never knew the name of, and really don't need to hear in a pop song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5qWnG5RQTk

(Heart & Soul, from 1938, in case anyone else was trying to place it but didn't want to go through the pain of having to listen again to check)

(Bea Wain due to celebrate her 100th birthday next year, BTW, hope nobody plays her the Train song)

It's the first song you learn on the piano

oh man

Our society truly is crumbling beneath us

omg my jaw dropped

Is there some context here that I'm lacking, or something super offensive in the lyric that I'm missing, 'cause this just sounds like the same old Train shittiness to me.

Maybe they'll follow it up with something based off of Minuet in G.

lol at "play that song"

Playlist is updated for the month.

Jesus fuck that Train song

Spin's shitlist.

Only one I remember hearing is Timberlake, which I don't think is that bad at all.

we should do a year end poll i think.

Nah, 2016 was bad enough already.

okay, i'm convinced

i'm glad the trend of publishing year-end worst lists for singles is picking up now

we should do a year end poll i think.

+1

Somebody make it happen if you want.
Playlist is put to bed now, added the SPIN picks.

ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

Can we just award it to Seven Years?

i am more inclined to go with that ghostbusters theme

Have we mentioned Robbie Williams' 'I Love My Life' yet? Because honestly fuck off mate, how's anyone supposed to relate to that?

^^ I've thought about posting that one to the thread several times, but (luckily) forgot about it once I was on ilx again. It's excrutating. Whenever it pops up on the car radio or in a shop it drives me mad.

It breaks my brain trying to follow his thought process: 'Oi imma make a song about how I love life, drown it in cliches, that must be a bonafide hit amirite guys?'

It's like that 'hope I'm old before I die' song he did years ago that effectively inverted and toned down the Who. i remember my dad being incredulous - 'that's not very rock'n'roll!'

Dog Latin, so awful. My friend asked me to join her to his gig. No thanks.

Party like a Russian is in the SBIG / accidentally prescient box though

Normally, calling the new year's thread overdue at this point would be laughably premature, but 2017 has already seen two new Ed Sheeran singles.

You Didn't Want It, You Didn't Ask For It; The 2016 ILX Worst Song Poll