Nigella Lawson - classic or dud, dahlings?

Nigella is nice, pretty and does not have a fat tongue. this is not enough to ensure classic status alone, but it helps.

Also her cook books are incredibly well written and easy to follow.

erm, isn't this thing supposed to be about music?..............

OK: unlike every other TV cook ever, Nigella CAN WRITE (in her own right) and is generally intellectually able. This is almost always a disaster on TV: writers are the kinds of people who think ahead to wonder "What CAN I be looking like?" — and consequently freeze up on camera, fail to deliver decent bodymove TV or relaxed-chat blather. To me, she looks nervous, all the time. (Jamie O too dim to be nervous, obviously: plus a beautiful mover actually in the Act of Prep... )

Can write: I don't mean her column, I mean her cookery books. How to Eat is good. Very readable, very sensible, not particularly posey (except maybe over equipment). A good test of lack of unnecessary ponciness is always the cooking for kids section.

Because she's plainly a babe (and because people probably feel sorry for her, what with J.Diamond blah blah), and because more TV programme commissioners are intimidated by unexpected things than you'd, er, expect, yes, second series. Undeserved.

My sister's boyfriend thinks she's, well, I won't even say... : but he deserves mention because he told me the following story. That when Jamie Oliver did his New York-based TV show, all his "friends" were just hired for the evening. This is too great.

This alone merits classic status.

Bill

You'll also have the money to piss away round there instead of looking for special offers in Tescos.

To be fair Nigella isn't as bad in this respect as some other food writers, but even though I have plenty of good delis close to me, it's still irksome.

Personnel:

PAUL COHEN gtr A PETER COHEN bs A LENNY FEDERER violin, viola A JEFF LYONS vcls, gtr A RICHARD PLOSS flute, sax A PETER TUCKER drms A

ALBUM:

1.(A) GUNS AND BUTLER (Cotillion SD 9901) 1972

A very marginal case for inclusion because this is an underrated progressive as opposed to garage or psychedelic album. An unusual combination of instruments works well with all tracks interesting and a couple particularly good - all were penned by the group. An all Jewish line-up with a hint of traditional Jewish music in their sound. Closely followed by Lloyd Grossman, who co-produced the album and wrote the sleeve-notes.

Just in case anyone thought Scott was tripping

- and i thought i wazza nasty-pastie !

Dominic Lawson edits the Sunday Telegraph (I believe he edited the Spectator previously) which is, yes, the embodiment of the send- everything-from-1965-onwards-back-where-it-comes-from idea of ruralism and the countryside that is, yes, the exact opposite of Skylarking. There's no doubt that the ST defines the set of values which, in my mind, Skylarking subverts and works against.

I find this *very* nearly impossible to believe; Dr C, are you winding me up here? Or is this genuinely true?

My perspective, somehow, shifts violently.

This makes my Green-Gartside-as-Martin-Carthy-fan moment (and my resulting theory on the song structure of "The Word Girl") seem insignificant ...

(for Norman's original question; don't care either way.)

I have vivid memories of a friend of mine moaning to me c1982 that Loyd Grossman had ruined his band's demo.

Next thing I know, though, someone will reveal Charles Moore's secret life as a Fairport Convention fan (or maybe even a prep-school hippy, a la his only decent columnist, Craig Brown).

My view of "Skylarking" is of a progressive rural community rooted in tradition but which doesn't try to keep anything modern out, and also believes in concepts of social equality, not landowners acting like they have a divine right to treat rural working-class people like peasants (protectionism and tight class structures being two vital elements of the Telegraph's particular vision of England outside the cities and suburbia). Obviously Lawson could never see it in the way *I* do(my guess is that he doesn't see it any way at all) because, if he believed in a progressive countryside, he wouldn't have anything to do with the Telegraph or the Spectator. The man rants about William Hague representing the voice of non-metropolitan Britain, for fuck's sake.

I don't hear this AT ALL, Robin. It doesn't appear to be a thematic work at all, and I don't see much connection between the songs other than the overall *sound and feel*. The characters and subjects don't appear to be rural in the main. What am I missing?

The vast majority of the audience for Skylarking *won't* hear what I hear in it, and that's fine by me. I can even imagine it being appropriated by Tories, because it's lyrically obviously apolitical, and there's far more explicit socialist content in a lot of English folk music which has become a key part of the "unchanging" idea of the countryside which Tories, almost by definition, love.

You really don't have to politicise it, Dr C. I just found it curious that someone whose politics are so utterly oppositional to mine liked XTC.

Cheers,

a resident of darkest Dorset :).

Next you'll be saying you find it weird that Hitler liked Mozart* or something.

* I have no idea if Hitler or Robin Carmody likes Mozart, btw, but I'm you know what I mean.

:-)

I hate this hypersexualised environment. When does the return bus leave?

As a matter of interest are you using this turn of phrase 'ironically' or is that really the way you talk/think?

Elizabeth David also left a trail of corpses, didn't she? It's the curse of the culinary social pioneer. "Most cooks use rubbed sage here, but I think aconite has a tarter, more authentic presence..."

However, a question from a non-British person: What's the deal with your cooking shows, what with all these intercuts of pasty boys on their Vespas, underscored by peppy jazz lite? Jamie Oliver is just too too much. Actually, what's with the motorbikes at all--re the disgusting 2 fat ladies program? And I can do without Nigella taking the kids to school, and the general here are my lovely chums features. US cooking shows--the decent ones at least--don't include the lifestyle crap. Are we supposed to envy these folks' zest for life?

Just pray that We don't export the Emeril cooking show to you all. It's done live, in front of a screaming sycophantic audience, with interludes from a dreadful Cajun/jazz lite band.

A thing I liked abt two fat ladies: THEY WERE ALWAYS MAKING JOKES ABT NOT WASHING THEIR HANDS!!

Things I saw on my holidays:

Night Fever: c-list celebrities doing karaoke while the audience sings along and the lyrics are superimposed on the screen

Eurotrash Smut Awards (or some such title): Various losers get semi- naked at pseudo awards ceremony. Includes live Puppetry of the Penis segment.

Eastenders; I come back to find Phil is now the bad guy; last I recall, he was the good brother; show has more ridiculous subplots than Dallas or Dynasty ever managed

100 Greatest TV Moments of 2001 program included the following delights:

Mascot race; people dress up in furry animal costumes and jump fences

Taboo; woman talks in serious, scientific way that only Brits can do in sex programs in front of giant picture of man with erection; erection hidden by rotating colored squares

Touch the truck; competition in which contestants must hold hands on giant SUV in mall; last one to pull hands away wins; winner talks about selling the truck and starting a new political party with the money

Various appearances by laughing-stock politicians the Hamiltons on daytime talk shows, including giving relationship advice on the Big Breakfast (no US politician could ever get away with this)

UK is of course also responsible for raising the TV bar worldwide with such quality fare as Survivor, Big Brother, Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, Weakest Link et al

Where does Big Brother originate then? I know it's not US.

I'd love to think that "Clarissa and the Countryman" (she was the One Fat Lady that didn't die, right?) was recommissioned as a means of annoying me based on my posts upthread ...

And the decorating shows have arrived--there is, in fact, a 24-hr decorating channel. We just got BBC America last month--you'll be pleased to know there's a US version of that show where neighbors redo each others' houses. The penchant for animal prints seems to transcend cultural boundaries, apparently. And can somebody explain the Funny Awards to me? It's shown all the goddam time.

Oh, us wacky Americans... On public TV (the highbrow commercial-free network, greatly loved by the earnest middlebrow) they've been showing reruns of "Are You Being Served" for years. Now, that's kultcher!

good cookbooks too.

Plus, I think she treacherous enough to knife Rachael Ray in the back if given a chance. Therefore, classic.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/09_03/NigellaXP2009_700x684.jpg

Still better than the Hairy Bikers.

I used to get hatemail off people for starting this thread. Maybe people still send it to the dead Demon account I had, I don't know. "You brits are such jealous losers" and suchlike. I guess she made it to the st8s after all. And she has "a cheast to die for", is "the best piece of fanny on TV" etc etc.

For all she looks a bit over made up and blowsy in the pic, I kind of fancy her a bit. Sorry.

No need to apologise for fancying Nigella

She needs to stop pretending that she's happy or getting sex.

I had first hand dealings with her some years ago and I'm afraid she was deeply unpleasant. I'm saying nothing more.

I love Nigella so much. Her books are the only ones I have where I don't need to use my special cheese, chocolate, cream or wine rule (double it), because she clearly has the same rule.

Marcello, you tease, spill the beans (borlotti beans that is, hoho).

Offline, perhaps, but not on here.

Can't fucking stand her television commercials for Twinings here.

never read her books, but in the tv programmes all her ingredients seem to come out of jars, and her breathless manner is SO annoying. it's only an artichoke, you're not going to have sex with it.

i once read an interview with her where she asserted 'all this stuff about food miles is nonsense' and that no great fresh produce is grown in this country so cooks are obliged to import everything.

and she's a tory cnut.

I note that the NZ Women's Weekly refers to her as "ever so saucy."

In 2008.

Double points deducted if it's meant to be a cookery pun.

"i have some 19 year old friends"

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/09/20/article-1058576-02BA37AF00000578-344_224x365.jpg

would smash

god so annoying, particularly with her fake multi-ethnic friends.

are they not really her friends or are they in blackface?

I suspect both.

Has she killed them, skinned them and worn them as a trophy yet?

This really was a WTF moment when I read it last week.

She was looking pretty hungry, and she had a glint in her eye that suggested mere lamb tagine would not satisfy her.

that interview is seriously one of the worst things i have ever read:

Across the train corridor, two men are trying to appear to be trying not to listen. One of them is a fresh-faced lad from Wales, the other an elderly, mid-European intellectual wearing Armani glasses. The train stops. We are in the Channel tunnel. This is not good. I tell her I carry diazepam in case of terrorist attack: would she like some? She offers me Xanax. The elderly intellectual offers us something he has from his doctor in France. The man from Wales looks horrified. We all decline each other's offers. The train moves on.

This would explain why she always looks so happy. That, and rolling around in piles of Charles Saatchi's cash.

And extreme self-satisfaction.

"I get an immense sense of happiness from the instruction "pre-heat the oven at gas mark 6""

... or something.

(Marcello's "unpleasant" upthread does not surprise me at all)

(Actually, my favourite was "Tuck in you lot, I'm off to make some tomato relish in the kitchen. Because you're all so FUCKING interesting, I'd rather sit in the kitchen ON MY OWN and chop ONIONS Dammit!")

I can imagine being her husband, waking up slightly hungover on a Sunday morning and hoping for a bit of solace, only to find she was downstairs in the kitchen angrily baking muffins with the Archers omnibus coming full blast out of a pink Roberts radio. In Cath Kidson pyjamas.

they have radios in pyjamas now?

She's also single again. Perhaps I might pop round to offer her some spiritual support.
― The Dirty Vicar, Thursday, 17 May 2001 01:00 (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Death of John Diamond: March 2, 2001

Classy.

Chas Saatchi was pretty quick off the mark too, if you're not fast, you're last

It had been going on for some considerable time before JD went.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Irksome

naked anti-semitism. fuck the haters.

Er...

Y'what?

Unless I find out she inherited all her vocabulary's adjectives from some rich, dead guy, I'm always going to love her.

Yep, it was Winston Churchill.

she inherited all her looks from her dad.

Except she looks like her mother

who looks like her husband.

uh-oh, here come the killers..

i don't get what's so objectionable about her or that interview.

The interview? Cheesy as hell.

Her? I have no great feeling either way.

The bit about how she never watches her show, I can imagine it would be extraordinarily embarassing. If it was me, like.

I saw half of some nigella's christmas cookery program, my dear wife was watching it on iplayer. Not having seen her on tv for years, I was amazed at how far into self parody she's sunk, tossing her head from side to side while she's orating so much that you'd think she's got some kind of nervous complaint, the prose when describing the food so purple that it's almost lovecraftian in places. In addition, the camera operator still can't decide where to point the camera, has difficulty holding focus, and often has some out-of focus blobby thing in the foreground, a kitchen tap or something, in the way. She is obnoxiously bossy, and seems to like to tell you what to think about stuff. Very annoying. She should be given an electric shock every time she uses the word "sensuous" or "sensuously".

I bailed as she described the grapes she was preparing for the party she was holding for her media-y friends as hanging in a wantion manner, ready to be debauched like s.th out of a roman orgy. Gack. The worst bit was when she was sending out the invites for her christmas party, and the camera panned across the table so you could read the replies, I mean for fuck's sake. I found myself ranting at the computer screen. When they showed the party, one of the guests was the ubiquitous stereotypical lifestyle tv media guy, bald head and big oblong thick framed spectacles. Apparently, there was a cutesy bit later, with Nigella pretending to be hungover post-party and preparing hangover cure food.

I think what annoyed me most about the program was that it was blatantly an ADVERT. I mean, you couldn't actually cook this food from watching this program, I you're going to have to buy her book. I'm surprised there wasn't an amazon url flashing up across the bottom of the screen. Like all adverts, the presentation was dishonest, the colours seemingly having been saturated in post-production to make the food look more appealing. I thought the bbc wasn't supposed to show adverts. There did seem to be a biot of product-placemet too, the camera lingering on some piece of fancy cookware, Nigella holding up some tin of cocoa powder so you could read the brand, bleh.

I'm sure I remember her being OK at somepoint in the past, before she became celebrity cook wench. I'm sure I remember her talking interestingly about books on some TV review program. Look at her now, bloody celebrity culture.

(off now to just quickly toss some leg of pork (take a look at the brand, no M&S shite for me) into this (branded) cook pot mm smell the heady aroma, cinnamon and liquorice mmm heady heady sensual sensuous debauched ravish blah blah blah blah blaRGHh)

The food still looks tasty though, I've got to admit that.

why is this on ILM, exactly?

as does *puts on sunglasses* the presenter

xp

it predates the ILM/ILE spilt

ok thks

i think she's utterly repellent. i'm with dom on this, though - jamie eoliver is the best tv chef the UK has ever produced.

I thought the bbc wasn't supposed to show adverts. There did seem to be a biot of product-placemet too, the camera lingering on some piece of fancy cookware, Nigella holding up some tin of cocoa powder so you could read the brand, bleh.

what is the current bbc stance on product placement like this?

classic boobage.

<div align='center'>Nigella's XXXmas<br><div align='center'><embed height="380" width="480" flashvars="file=http://208.116.9.205/10/content/15285/450.flv&;height=380&width=480&displayheight=360&displaywidth=480&frontcolor=0xffffff&backcolor=0x000000&lightcolor=0xffffff&plugins=/show/plugins/kb/kbsocial.swf&shuffle=false&overstretch=false&autostart=true&repeat=list&javascriptid=kbvideo&enablejs=true&customKb=true&kb_engagement_url=http://kontraband.com/videos/15285/Nigellas-XXXmas&;kb_engagement_title=Nigella's XXXmas&kb_contentid=15285" allowscriptaccess="always" usefullscreen="true" allowfullscreen="true" quality="high" name="kbvideo" id="kbvideo" src="http://www.kontraband.com/show/4.5.swf"; type="application/x-shockwave-flash"/>

You mean http://www.kontraband.com/videos/15285/Nigellas-XXXmas/

OK, I laughed...

.. next year's xmas number one.

This is rather good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L57BcmGB-E0

its true you cant really cook anything after watching her programme (not exactly instructional) but does anyone really watch it for that? i loved j.olivers american cooking series and i dont know if i could have cooked anything after watching those either. these shows are just cookery/food porn. or actual milf porn in nigellas case.

classic

lol

There was a lot of talk about what Dominic Lawson hears in Skylarking. I recall him being very christian on tv and I wonder how he could miss the lyrics of "Dear God". He routinely agued so poorly on tv that I ended up feeling sorry for him.

I recall Nigella being offended when Jonathan Ross criticized the camera work on her show being all over the place. I have no interest in cooking shows or books and I dont know anything about her politics but she is lovely.

she seems really cool

she's welcome in the US any time, we're sending back jamie oliver, though

You'd probably die if you did lines on her boobs.

Absolutely adore Nigella.

I've made some of her recipes or used them as the basis for dishes.

Her vocabulary is enviable. And I like the way she sort of trolls viewers with some recipes.

My mum made a cake of hers once that required an entire 400g tub of nutella.

That sounds like it'd be a super classy version of Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa cake.

400g tub of Nutella and a massive bag of cocaine.

i made a chocolate cake from a recipe of hers once that the four mac lads couldnt finish (a first), it turned into that scene from matilda but without mrs trunchbull to but a bit of smacht on us

if she's been doing coke daily for a decade then that just makes how great she looks for 55 or whatever age she is all the more shocking.

plus i'll have to revise my idyllic fantasy of marrying her to include cocaine in it.

that interview is seriously one of the worst things i have ever read:

Across the train corridor, two men are trying to appear to be trying not to listen. One of them is a fresh-faced lad from Wales, the other an elderly, mid-European intellectual wearing Armani glasses. The train stops. We are in the Channel tunnel. This is not good. I tell her I carry diazepam in case of terrorist attack: would she like some? She offers me Xanax. The elderly intellectual offers us something he has from his doctor in France. The man from Wales looks horrified. We all decline each other's offers. The train moves on.

― Phonetic Elvis. (stevie), Tuesday, December 16, 2008 12:40 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This would explain why she always looks so happy. That, and rolling around in piles of Charles Saatchi's cash.

― Neil S, Tuesday, December 16, 2008 12:43 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

prescient

Man from Wales had done a few Es.

thx guys, now i won't be able to sleep for contemplating Nigella/boobs/rails

welcome to my world

Nigella was on a TV programme this year or last with Tony Bourdain, another "reformed" and "now-sober" cokehead... I can imagine they were both nostril deep in the green room before each day's shoot.

She still didn't deserve to be throttled in public by that dolt of a husband she has.

plus i'll have to revise my idyllic fantasy of marrying her to include cocaine in it.

lol

Would like to see how she behaves in full Tony Montana mode.

"say hello to my sizeable friends"

ok i'm going to bed before i fp myself

Say hello to my little flan

ok i'm going to bed before i fp myself

I completely misread this at first

first you get the honey, then you get the flour

Michael I think you read it right tbf

How much of a drug fiend do you Brits think she actually is/was? It doesn't sound like her accusers are particularly reputable.

The idea of her doing coke with her daughter is pretty great too, really proves that the close-knit family thing isn't just for the cameras.

Not that I'd be surprised if she was a coke-fiend, but I'd bet money that this story coming to light is the doing of her abusive ex-husband. Another method of control now she's out.

What did she do before she was a celebrity chef? She has to come from some money if her dad was a Tory minister.

It's to do with a court case taken by allegedly thieving employees, they claim she let them spend big bucks in exchange for silence to the husband over her drug use. I think it'd be in his interests not to smear her but there's an email leaked in which he gets annoyed about the drug use fucking up the case.

Suppose it could all be a complicated ruse.

xpost

emil.y otm. this sounds like bullshit to me and it sounds like her husband trying to maintain some control. she kept a drug habit quiet for 10 years? 'mon ta fuck

To be fair coke one of the more surreptitious addictions to harbour.

How much of a drug fiend do you Brits think she actually is/was?

There were stories on popbitch back in the day, but I question the source. She seemed crazy fucked up throughout the production of her last TV show in the UK - like, glazed and slurring her speech - but considering what a dickhole she was married to then, who can judge her for self-medicating?

i don't think self-medication is a matter for judgement in any circumstances

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yeah i have been aware of his work for a few weeks

bless you, good man

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02747/nigella-cosima_2747049d.jpg

emil.y otm - saatchi also made a new statement about the drug use as well as the email. there's an insinuation that it was behind his abuse of her as well, so a nasty means of self-justification as well.

gosh, she is looking more and more like her dad going by that photo

Jeez not even a gajillionaire successful highly educated and intelligent woman gets any agency or credit for making her own choices from the usuals huh, way 2 patronise

i don't think self-medication is a matter for judgement in any circumstances

hmm. its possible I wasn't advocating judging self-medication in any circumstances either, but do enjoy that high horse.

Cmon stevie your arse is 75% elevated saddle itself by now surely

i wasn't having a pop i was just saying, further to what you said, that people don't need to justify these things

like i don't think anybody here wd be tut-tutting even if she didn't have a scumbag ex-husband to "drive her to it"

apols nv, was being oversensitive
and dmac my point was, the horse is mine, there isn't room for two up here

Heh

This whole thing seems exceptionally bitter and nasty even without taking into account the two people who may or may not have defrauded/blackmailed her.

TBF Nigella is probably the one British female celebrity outside the music industry who would be able to get away with disclosing a giant cocaine habit. Her entire mass appeal is based on being able to get away with things that other women typically aren't "allowed" to do by mass media standards. That may not extend to cocaine use in Daily Mail land but I suspect the public reaction will veer on the side of sympathetic unless there are worse revelations to come.

i just realised this is on ilm not ile, bizarrely

given yesterday's news i'd be surprised if anyone had moral outrage left over for a coke habit

Well, as I said on the other thread, Ian W picked a good day to admit.

tried googling up this Higella reference. I didn't understand it. Was this some classic literary character in some book I missed? Finally realized they meant "High-gella".

Isn't Saatchi on the side of the prosecution here? Sounds like he's kinda trying to smear and also win the case:

"At the time of sending the email I was completely astonished by the alleged scale of the drug use set out in the statements. Nevertheless I did believe the allegations. I have been asked whether it referred to a belief that Nigella permitted the Grillos to spend whatever they liked. On reflection I was simply speculating the sisters would use this material to defend themselves."

everyone in this story bar nigella sounds pretty terrible tbh

Joy Lo Dico ‏@joy_lo_dico 3m
Top detail in Mail's Nigella story: PAs first claimed Saatchi asked them to spend 'stolen' money buying copies of his book to boost rankings

Finally realized they meant "High-gella".

"High yella high red high blue she blew
High Ella high Ella Guru"

(well this is an ILM thread)

Can't believe this story would elicit any response other than "hot damn wouldn't it be fun to do coke with nigella lawson". Joyless fucks

"LET'S OPEN A RESTAURANT TOGETHER"

HEY LET'S FILM IT RIGHT HERE!

A few years ago either the Daily Mail or the Daily Express (hard to tell the bastards apart sometimes) tried character assassination stuff calling her show "porn", but I dont think there were enough readers who cared for it to amount to anything.

or "thought it was a bad thing"

Disappointed groan and turning to read something else probably a quite natural reaction to discovering that contrary to headlines Nigella Lawson hadn't actually being making pr0n.

there will be a groan but in some cases it won't be disappointment its expressing if you get me

The Daily Mail has always been pretty terrible towards her iirc (not that I follow these things but somewhat bizzarely my wife is vaguely related to her so I get told about this stuff)

Did any of the papers go for a BAKING BAD headline or are standards slipping?

Read someone's Metro front page on the tube today (several years Metro-free) and the headline was "The great British baked toff". Hate the game but you have to say someone's earned their corn there.

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02747/nigella-today_2747054c.jpg

i award this paparazzo 1x coconut

"Yeah, fackin' chemist's is shut innit. Any chance o' some fackin' blow to tide me over?"

a friend just posted this

http://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/1468521_10153533563695257_1339663478_n.jpg

funny cuz it's the first, will prob be sick of a million similar images by next week

genuinely shocked by the degree to which the right wing tabloid press are going to bat for saatchi in this story

bonus points for the 'trose loyalty card xp

the Beeb seem to be enjoying all the salacious details more than i'd expect, too

xposts What, for Saatchi as in "Labour isn't working" Saatchi&Saatchi?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BaEGtu-CEAASmGj.jpg:large

properly vile and hateful piece in the Torygraph today. Stephen Fry once said on Tv of the writer of said piece that she 'makes me want to vomit'.

how did this thread get on ILM? not that i'm not enjoying it! remember to have a bump or two with that leftover turkey sandwich, people!

The thread was originally posted just before the creation of ILE, in part prompted by non-music threads like this one.

every poster eventually reaches that curious age when they start to wonder how ILE was created...

wow, this is like the "lucy" of ILM threads, deep strata!

Many have speculated that all ilx boards spring forth from one i love lucy board back in the mists of time

So, after this has been in all the papers as a result of something Charles Saatchi said in court, Charles Saatchi says in court he's never seen Nigella take drugs, would have no evidence to indicate she has and only doesn't know what to believe because of all the rumours. Glad that's clear.

Meanwhile, admitted drug user Richard Bacon gets to host top ITV daytime quiz Show Me The Telly.

That could admittedly be interpreted as punishment.

Many have speculated that all ilx boards spring forth from one i love lucy board back in the mists of time
― 30 ch'lopping days left to umas (darraghmac),

I was referring to that earliest human specimen "lucy" but ILLucy is so much better

xpost why, what have we done to have to suffer so?

lisa o'carroll ‏@lisaocarroll 3m
QC to Nigella:"When you unfortunately separated from Mr Saatchi..." Nigella interjected: "I wouldn't say 'unfortunately'."

Zingin' it from the witness stand

good for her, i completely believe her description of this past long summer.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand there it is, what the papers have all been hanging on for.

what what what?

Smokin' weed in front of her kiddies

As well as snorting coke like a madwoman

By the way, this nonsense is the lead story on the BBC website, fuck yer licence fee, ya cunts

i still don't understand what any of this has to do with the two women who swindled her

lol who

can we fucking destroy the entire media plz

where's the smoking weed bit?

smokin weed rules

just wonderin how much money will be earned by journos and columnists right now penning lucrative reponses to nigella's cocaine hell, and how much of that money will itself be spent on cocaine

smokin weed rules

― New York City Garden(?) (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, December 4, 2013 4:27 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

TB

i still don't understand what any of this has to do with the two women who swindled her

Because of a specific email allegation that Saatchi made that was directly related to the case and brought up in court.

"She claimed the incident was actually sparked when she commented on a person walking by with a baby.

"I said 'I'm so looking forward to having grandchildren'," Ms Lawson told the court.

"He grabbed me by the throat and said 'I'm the only person you should be concerned with'."

This is her claim as to what happened at the restaurant. True, jury savvy or too clever?

too weird not to be true imo.

Yeah. Whereas his "I grabbed her by the throat so I could get some cocaine out of her nose" strikes me as too weird to be true.

She said it in the same way as she'd say "I do love sprinkling garlic into my cheesecake flan"

and he said "Will you stop talking like that?"

If anyone here knows anyone who bought one of Saatchi's interminable stream of books, please groinkick them

Saatchi kept money 'in the fridge' and never uses credit cards. what's the benefit of that? serious question.

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/ron-swanson-computer-throw-out-parks-and-rec.gif

Jeremy Irons should play Saatchi in the eventual movie version of this.

https://vine.co/v/hxnwlJj6WV6

<3

http://instagram.com/p/hipvMFEugL/

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BaqRjv4CcAAxLIk.jpg:large

in stoke newington obviously

Grillos acquitted, which means that Nigella might have committed perjury over the last couple of weeks?

Was there proof that she was lying or were the Grillos acquitted just cos there wasn't enough evidence either way?

yeah, muddying the water isn't the same as proving somebody a liar

Good work, Cameron

Birds of a feather though, eh? Knowwhatimean?

YOU MEAN DRUGS

It won't stand up in court... it's a miracle Nigella did, knowwhatime... oh stop it

I ask a question I feel sure he’ll dodge: about the trial of two of Charles Saatchi’s former housemaids and the revelation that his ex-wife, Nigella Lawson, used cocaine. Her fans have rushed to her defence: ‘Team Nigella’ is used as a hashtag on Twitter and even sprayed on city walls. So when I ask “Are you on Team Nigella?” I expect him to stay out of it. Instead, he offers a direct answer.

http://orderorder.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/dave.jpg

This fuggin guy

is it me, or does all this shit about "Team Nigella" imply the existence of "Team Domestic Violence"??

Saatchi has been raked over the goals in the Times and Sunday Times. They are reporting that he tried to arrange for drug allegations to go in to both papers months ago on the condition his role was kept a secret.

Hey uk folks, I don't get what she's in trouble for? This can't just be about her recreational drug use??

Yes it can.

The Mail have dedicated their front page to 'Saatchi's plot to use daughter to ruin Nigella' so it looks like even the moralist right thinks worse of him than her.

so they were acquitted because nigella is presumed to have been off her face on cocaine & weed 24/7 and so couldn't reliably say whether she had or had not authorised them to spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on her CC?

^their argument ws that nigella authorised the spending so they'd hide her drug use from saatchi. makes more sense

their argument was that they weren't fraudsters they were blackmailers?

they were acquitted because they'd muddied the waters sufficiently that it couldn't be proven either way iirc

and came close to unseating the PM

from the kick off i thought Saatchi must be out of his mind thinking he could drag Nigella down considering her national treasure status, it reminds me of Heather Mills trying to take down Macca and coming a cropper.

She's going to come through this without taking major hit points? I haven't been paying close attention.

I really hope she does. And I hope Saatchi is profoundly damaged by it all.

Saatchi clearly called in favours all over the media for this, but everybody irl still thinks he's a cockroach. w/e about Nigella really.

he has made himself look even worse and her more sympathetic but i expect he is too much of a bully to understand that.

I'm watching The Taste on Hulu - she's terrrrrrible.