OFFICAL ILX JOE BONAMASSA CELEBRATION THREAD

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Between Two Strats with Joe Bonamassa

http://thepickupradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/joe-bonamassa.jpg

http://www.smokestacklightnin.com/images/JoeBonamassa.jpg

this is the GOAT bonamassa pic IMO

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2015-11-14-1447533824-3471910-guitarcollector.jpg

the three identical les pauls up front is so amazing

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May We Be Shown Photos of Bonamassa With Middle Aged Ladies?

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fuckin' love this guy

never knowingly heard him play a note but just look at him, he's a treasure

i ask you this in all seriousness: has anyone ever looked less cool playing a guitar

i ask you this in all seriousness: has anyone ever looked less cool playing a guitar

Yes

http://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-us-president-george-hw-bush-and-political-advisor-lee-atwater-play-78473204.html

TONE MACHINES

https://www.guitar.com/sites/guitar.com/files/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/joe_bonamassa_guitar_rig_2010.jpg

Here, watch him violently shit all over ZZ Top's "Just Got Paid" for twelve minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSQwj3s8Y4s

xxpost

http://c7.alamy.com/comp/EFJNAC/us-president-george-hw-bush-and-political-advisor-lee-atwater-play-EFJNAC.jpg

I had Joe autograph my JBLP gold top last year. When Joe hefted it up by the neck he quipped "That's about the weight of a nice sized walleye". (It weighs in at 9 lbs, 3 oz.) I guess you need to be a sport fisherman to appreciate that!

A true story from Joes` recent Bridlington gig.
My mates wife had an empty seat to her right. A dapper little gent in his sixties sat down next to her and was talking on his mobile(cell-phone to our friends across the pond).
"Yes I`m at Brid Spa, some guy called Joe Bonamassa, don`t know anything about him."
We thought he won`t be here for long. After the second song he was jumping about shouting "Joe, Joe, Joe."
To cut a long story short this old chap was now hooked and said," This guy`s better than Clapton and Well

I talked to Joe after a show here in Atlanta several years ago and asked if he would like to spend the following day riding motorcycles with me and some buddy’s here in the Georgia country side. I am a dealer and could have hooked him up for a nice afternoon of riding. His response to me was “No Way” I am not coordinated at all and can hardly drive a car.
I find that pretty funny considering he sounds like 2 guys playing guitar and singing all at the same time.

Joe Bonamassa announces Blues Explosion tribute shows

"Solos are basically 16-to-24-bar marathons. If you run a marathon, you can’t start sprinting, but at the start people need a little fireworks to grab their attention. Then you have to back off and say something with a melody before you start barnstorming." — Joe Bonamassa

I really have to hand it to someone who is the only person in the world who thought the Blueshammer sequence was completely serious.

I made it two minutes into "Just Got Paid," that's all I could do.

He's a Tim Heidecker character, right?

No wait, André Rieu gone electric.

This wiki bit is comedy gold:

Bonamassa went to Nashville and collaborated with three songwriters there: Jonathan Cain, who has written for Journey; James House, known for his work with Diamond Rio...; and Jerry Flowers, who has written for Keith Urban. Bonamassa explained to the writers that he wasn't interested in creating three-minute radio hits, but just wanted to write some serious blues rock.

He's a Tim Heidecker character, right?

nailed it

how the fuck does that 'just got paid' video have nearly eight million views

here's a pacy seven-minute tear through 'taxman' at the cavern club, featuring a decloaked death from bill and ted's bogus journey on bass guitar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgaM43KCqT4

Death played a stand-up if I recall correctly

death was inspired to go electric by the sheer power of bonamassa's tone iirc

I believe that

Thank god. I knew the thread for discussion of guitarists i have only heard of because i read guitar magazines in the late 90s couldn't contain this guy.

Oh, and as far as mainstream music magazines go, well, they've pretty much ignored Bonamassa. In a 2011 American Blues Scene interview, when asked why he wasn’t featured on the Rolling Stone Top 100 Guitar Players of All-Time list, Joe replied, "Have you seen who’s on the cover this week? (It was Snooki.) Rolling Stone has about as much credibility as The National Enquirer."

At this point, it surprises almost nobody that when Joe plays guitar, it’s a “masterclass from a force of nature” as the Lancashire Telegraph said.

Bonamassa was performing at the Brady Theater in Tulsa, Oklahoma, on December 9, when he saw a bouncer harassing an audience member. The blues guitarist took his rare 1951 Fender No-caster in hand and gave the guard a whack.

Afterward, he shared a photo of the incident on his Instagram, along with the following note:

“And to the bouncer who harassed one of our fans up front... That is why you can now tell your family and friends what a 51 Fender No-caster to the head feels like. Don’t ever put hands on my fans again. Consider that a love tap reminder.”

Bouncer otm

oh so standard tuning then. Thank god for that gear rundown!

Listening to Bonamassa for the first time
It's like I got new ears

Are they still doing the Roadhouse reboot? He totally has to be the Jeff Healey character

WTF

Before he reached 18 years old, Bonamassa was playing in a band called Bloodline with the sons of Miles Davis, Robby Krieger, and Berry Oakley.

https://media.giphy.com/media/WriRAEzCFF9HG/giphy.gif

I strongly dislike this person's clenched anus blues rock

just a regular joe and his axe

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Joe Bonamassa is known for his collection of incredibly rare sunburst Gibson Les Paul Standards. But his own signature Gibson Les Paul is a goldtop, created for him by the company in 2008.

Bonamassa recently traded in the prototype of the model at Norman’s Rare Guitars. In the video below, he talks about the guitar and how he felt when the prototype was delivered to him.

“When you’re a kid and you see a Gibson Les Paul, and then something that you’ve idolized over the years shows up at your door and it says [your name] on the truss-rod cover—it was a very special day,” he recalls.

Bonamassa immediately put the guitar to work on the recording of his 2009 album, The Ballad of John Henry, which hit Number One on the Billboard Top Blues chart.

The guitar features Gibson Burstbucker pickups and a black back. “I was trying to make like an early ’57,” he explains. It also has mismatched volume and tone knobs. Bonamassa explains that the different feel of the knobs allows him to know which one he’s grabbing without having to look, which is vital when he’s performing and singing.

Bonamassa explains that Gibson was nervous about the guitar, not knowing if his name had enough clout to carry a signature guitar. “This represented a risk on their part, and it represented a journey for me,” he says.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQWcD5YO8Cw

His favorite guitar is a ’59 Les Paul Sunburst, a “Holy Grail” that he actually takes on the road with him.

“I tour nine months a year,” Bonamassa told Gibson.com, in a 2011 interview. “What am I going to do, come home and noodle with it on the couch? Go, ‘Wow look at this, I’ve got a ’59 Les Paul that never gets used, maybe on a recording here and there.’ I’d rather get a nice case for it--which I did--hire an ex-secret service agent as my security guard--which I did (laughs)--and take it on the road.” In an interview with AmericanBluesScene.com, Bonamassa praised the ‘59’ Les Paul’s extraordinary tone. “I have over 300 guitars, but out of all of them, that one is definitely my favorite.”

Those trademark shades he wears vary with the seasons.

“I have four sets of them,” Bonamassa once told GuitarMessenger.com. “I have the 'hot summer show' ones–called Silhouettes, because they wrap around your ears. That prevents them from sliding off. Then, when you get into the wintertime and the theater’s not that hot, I wear a set of Pradas. I also have a set of Ray Bans and a set of Revos. I’m sure I’ve bought enough sunglasses to put somebody’s kid through college.”

The place you’re most likely to find him, when he’s not on tour, is The Home Depot.

“I’m deep into home improvements,” Bonamassa told a fan forum, in 2006. “I love The Home Depot. I'm good at walking in and picking things out, buying the supplies for the deck or whatever other project is on the list. But I leave the work to the pros. I’m just good at the buying part.”

people really only know joe as a guitarist, they don't realise just how complete a musician he is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXm79DTIw9w

FUCK YEAH

I can't pick which of these quotes is better

I appreciate anyone whose life appears to be a fake documentary.

joe bonamassa: the normcore nigel tufnel

"This one doesn't go anywhere."

"This is Steve he's my guitar's security guard"
"You mean your security guard?"
"Nope. Just the guitar."
"..."
"He also keeps an eye on my sunglasses, but I don't pay him for that."

"Oh my god Joe's been kidnapped! Steve you were right there why didn't you do anything!"
"Hey, I work for the guitar not the player!"

if the ads i see on the sides of local buses are to be believed, his performance here will be the 'guitar event of the year'

shot this at a stop sign the other day

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TACO VS BONAMASSA

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Just heard a Bonnamassa radio commercial

Dude is like Black Flag!

If I come home from work and telephone pole at the end of my block is covered in Pettibon rip-off Bonamassa flyers...well, let's just say I won't be surprised

hell yeah dude check out this sweet fretboard inlay

http://theguitarbuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Joe-Bonamassa-R9-with-Fingerboard-Inlay.jpg

Did he sign that in Tipp-Ex?

tipp-ex improves string vibration and thus adds 16% more bluesiness to bends iirc

Woah that inlay

tempted to start a pigfuck revival band called bonamassa

https://reverb.com/news/welcome-to-nerdville-inside-joe-bonamassas-home-collection

“We’ll check out the Bonaseum later,” Joe says. “No cameras in there right now.”

watching the video. he namedrops his friend steven seagal

This video came across my desk a little while back and I thought the bass player was Bonamassa, just based on his appearance and the guitar faces he was making .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH1u5j-1QZw

a day late but happy bidet, joe

https://jbonamassa.com/newsletter/2014-18/images/bonamassa-37-birthday-wish.jpg

https://jbonamassa.com/features/2015/bonamassa-100th-lespaul-anniversary-nl25/img/720x405-les-paul-100th-birthday-papeo-28.jpg

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check out this bitchin' mouse mat

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joe does some casual cultural stereotyping

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0533/5597/products/ktba_at_sea_ii_pin.jpg?v=1455036932

surfing on a cactus woah

kangaroo penis iirc

kango penis keeping the blooze alive fair dinkum bonnamassa

https://jbonamassa.com/features/2015/bonamassa-100th-lespaul-anniversary-nl25/img/720x405-les-paul-100th-birthday-papeo-28.jpg

this photo just screams Wall-Street-CEO-Steps-Out-Of-Boardroom-To-Drop-Some-Bitchen-Clapton-Licks-To-Unwind-After-Hard-Day-Making-Millions

Max-Headroom-drops-a-deuce-while-shredding was my take

thanks for the new DN

I feel like this thread can't live up to its full potential until we allow unregistered viewers to post on it. It's really missing the random Googlers so common to Ye Threades of Olde.

https://www.facebook.com/JoeBonamassa/videos/10155255820969659/?pnref=story.unseen-section

Hey, because of you people and your links, I've got Joe Bonamassa advertisements all over my internet, trailing me like a hellhound.

mission accomplished

I feel like this thread can't live up to its full potential until we allow unregistered viewers to post on it.

― Guy Pidgeotto (Tom Violence), Wednesday, May 10, 2017 1:19 PM (one week ago)

hi

ILX field trip to Bonnamassa Blues Cruise

i'd never seen him talk before, seems like the blues dad version of cool dude clem

yes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X41ton4Xzl0

2:20 is my favorite way to keep the blues alive

love the intro, nasty overdriven blues chord with a panning shot of a big ass cruise ship

Blues Traveler! followed by a flip cup tournament.

ILX field trip to Bonnamassa Blues Cruise

let's make this happen

joe's lapel-less jacket in that video upthread is some real hideous star trek: the next generation shit

I'd really like to go back in time to show Son House how we managed to keep the blues alive

just a bunch of wites keeping the blues alive on a cruise to jamaica nbd

Roger Ailes: "I created a TV network for people from 55 to dead."

Joe Bonamassa: "Hmmm...I think I'll try doing that with music."

my calamari was soggy #igottheblues

A+ xpost

I never thought someone would come along to unseat Carlos Santana as the reigning king of ridiculous guitar face, but Bonnamassa has done it

Honestly, I would probably have fun on this with the caveat that I would do nothing but get wasted from the time I woke up to the time I passed out watching Eric Gales

As it has been my long stated life dream to die from a rare sexual transmitted disease that incubated on a Blues Cruise I would also volunteer for this field trip.

anyone else see the crazy skeleton dude at 0:08 of that vid? or is it just me?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvHEyAnS0bs

i'd like him better if he still performed in a hot pink t-shirt and neon green hat

oh man that's a great find

poison shirt spotted on some kid in the hallway

that actually makes bonnamassa p loveable <3

he was a hot shit player for 13 wow

related to http://ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=77&threadid=66053

apparently he was in a band with the robbie krieger's son and berry oakley's son: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p4ZV-CAht4

there's a two-part bloodline documentary on youtube that i'm not even going to link to

Man, that Pauley clip takes me back...My family used to watch that show and I actually saw that story when it aired. Years later, when JB finally got big, we called him "That kid from TV".

The blues cruise promo clip makes me want to start a YouTube channel dedicated to white people clapping along to music

would subscribe

there was this phish live video i saw one time that was classic in that regard but i've never been able to find it since. whoever was operating the camera knew exactly what they were doing xp

Home › News › Joe Bonamassa To Release Live Album

Joe Bonamassa To Release Live Album

Posted on June 16, 2017 by Kate

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for fuck's sake

https://www.facebook.com/JoeBonamassa/videos/10155361575004659/

okay well i guess this is cool

James Kamaunu I love Joe, but the cellists be best served playing with a more Jazz musician to implement her skill with a sound like no other cellists would explore doing.. This is more rudiments, speed but I'd rather hear her playing " her " and with a style of music she can eccentuate her style within it... Aloha.. just say and no disrespect Joe - he's awesome...
LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 168 · June 10 at 11:22am

Tina Guo I think I will play whatever I feel like playing, but nice to know your opinion James.
Like · Reply · 1.7K · June 10 at 11:42am

There is no way in hell I'm watching that video.

why do I keep thinking he's blind?

You've seen his wardrobe and hairstyle?

open goal nonetheless nicely slotted home by the boy matthewk there, brian

stan, you're probably thinking of blind (and dead) wite bloozeman jeff healey, as featured in sam elliott hairstyle showcase roadhouse

I probably do, yeah - the perpetual sunglasses don't help, though.

tbh i'm grateful the sunglasses keep us from seeing his eyes - like a couple of raisins dropped in a bowl of porridge, they are

MatthewK - applause.

Jeff Healey was a wite bluesman, it is true. However, he could defensibly say "I don't see color."

I'm not about to Google image search this, but I feel like this guy and Donald Trump, Jr. are kind of doppelgangers.

This dude is the patron saint of the blues lawyer.

Whenever you see an old white dude who just rediscovered his love of music 9 times out of 10 it's because he saw that fucking PBS Red Rocks Wite Man's Tribute to Da Blooooooz.

While I can't make it to the end of the vid to confirm, I find it interesting how the cello player sucks all the guitar-face out of the room, leaving our hero to be the subdued one

I found that video very pleasing, not least because the shitty recording makes both instruments sound like cats scratching frantically at the door - it's almost a "shreds" video for large stretches.
Disappointed he hasn't collaborated with André Rieu though, a match made in heaven.

It's fucks me up that .the second age as this dude.

Oops

It's fucks me up that I'm the same age as this dude.

joe bonamassa should would make a great elendil in peter jackson's 97-hour film of "the silmarillion".

JOE BONAMASSA YOU ROCK! you've always been there, even when i was really feeling down. especially when i was feeling down. and i'll never be able to pay you back for that ride you gave me to the airport later that night, because your peak hour rate is total bullshit and i'm still unemployed

I'm sad that the fanpage glossary failed to list my coinage "Bonamasturbate."

http://www.musicradar.com/news/joe-bonamassa-using-pedals-that-make-you-sound-like-everything-but-your-guitar-is-fking-lazy

“I’ve really gotten over pedals. I can’t keep up with this craze of boutique pedals that make you sound like everything but your guitar. I can’t get my head around it. So you don’t want to play a guitar [properly] so you buy a box that makes it sound like an algorithm, like you just fired up your computer and you can spend the night staring at your fuckin’ shoes? C’mon man…

“I know I’ll get shit for saying this, but it’s fucking lazy. It’s insulting to people who spent 35 years playing and learning, like a lot of players. And we continue to work at it! These guys can barely play a chord but call themselves soundscapists. Get the fuck outta here! It’s bullshit. There’s so much masking and spin going on there. Can we get real for a minute? What do you actually play? Pick up an acoustic guitar… try that!”

looking forward to a Shields/Bonamassa collab in 2027

Very skeptical of anyone who considers themselves a musician that doesn't —or, in this case, refuses— to see the potential in all types of music gear. Fine to say, "I don't really like to use effects pedals", but to just assume somebody who does is somehow lesser talented and/or knowledgeable just because of that is pretty flawed logic. I mean, I could say, "People who only rely on a guitar and an amp for their tone are destined to continue falling back on blues cliches to the point of becoming boring and predictable."

Also, the way he talks about pedals implies that he doesn't actually know much about what he's trying to talk down to. Referencing specifically, "pedals that make you sound like everything but your guitar. . . a box that makes it sound like an algorithm." Does he not realize that a good 65%-75% of new pedals that are coming out these days are drive pedals? Sure, some of those will color your tone a bit, but overwhelmingly, they just take your guitar and make it louder. How could he not already know this?

I think it may have something to do with his profound lack of imagination.

He’s just a prototypical blues guitar dork

to be fair he could have been talking about this pedal which is the worst pedal i ever bought and i can't believe i bought it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-N_Ar3xfak

lulz, that is at the top of my wish list right now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Someone on fb pointed out that Joe sells his own line of pedals. Further research revealed TWENTY-FOUR DIFFERENT JOE BONAMASSA DOG SWEATERS:
https://shop.jbonamassa.com/collections/dog-apparel

Protecting the blues? JFC

https://i.imgur.com/3pAJczv.jpg

lol his rig is so simple and bluesy it only takes nearly seven minutes to explain

https://youtu.be/UqB0fJLALd4

That TC Electronic 2290 Dynamic Digital Delay was originally owned by Charley Patton.

haha

I need to know when the theremin comes into play.

There was a vid upthread of him theremin-ing out. It's...exactly what you'd expect.

OMFG he is LARS ULRICH PROVE ME WRONG

Lars is so much cooler and more interesting than this guy

speaking of metallica, i saw them live a couple of weeks ago and i noticed kirk playing a battered les paul that looked vaguely familiar - then i remembered i'd read that kirk bought peter green's legendary '59 les paul and i spent the rest of the show trying to work out whether he was indeed playing a $2m guitar onstage

i guess what i'm saying is that i have become the thing i hate

Lars sipping champagne and auctioning off Basquiat paintings in Some Kind of Monster is so baller, metal nerds can't handle flossin on that level

Fun fact: Lars' godfather was Dexter Gordon.

yeah also maybe Don Cherry? at least i read him and Neneh Cherry were friends as kids

lars is very charismatic, imo, napster bs notwithstanding

the existence of this thread... i mean, the painfully boring interminable concert i saw on pbs 4 years ago was enough trauma, i never thought i'd be periodically reminded of this silly man and his constipated musical stylings.. it's just crazy, he's is doing is SO wrong. he is getting MUSIC wrong. music is supposed to lift you out of this brutal corporeal existence and create a supernatural experience.. it's not supposed to be like watching a guy bench press and admiring his beads of sweat and furrowed eyebrows.. gahh!

it's not supposed to be like watching a guy bench press and admiring his beads of sweat and furrowed eyebrows.. gahh!

this isn't the right analogy... i'm just mad at joe and wish i knew why

Its because he went down to the crossroads and then decided he wanted to be Clapton, and not even the Clapton of Cream or the Dominoes, but the Clapton of 24 nights at the Royal Albert Hall and wearing suits that cost more than the creators of the blues made in their lifetimes.

joe drove through the mcdonalds where the crossroads used to be and a minimum-wage emissary of satan sold him a blues-themed happy meal for the price of his eternal dignity

Bonamassa is the logical "tasteful" endpoint of that Guitar mag thread....avoiding the late 80s pyrotechnics but the concept of exhibition as an end-point aesthetic, who can only get that magical tone out of 'that' guitar....except he needs to own 326 identical copies.

now that you mention it i wonder if joe is consumed by burning jealousy at the thought of kirk hammett owning peter green's old les paul instead of him

But those guys were my guys – Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page. There's a certain sophistication to their approach to the blues that I really like, more so than the American blues that I was listening to. B.B. King's a big influence – he's probably my biggest traditional influence. I love Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson and T-Bone Walker and stuff like that, but I couldn't sit down. I was always forcing myself to listen to whole records by them, where I'd rather listen to Humble Pie do "I'm Ready" than Muddy Waters, you know? I think, the English interpretation of the blues just hit me a lot better, you know?

I think Joe would be good at SHOCKING ILM confessions.

so he's def consumed with burning jealousy at kirk hammett owning peter green's guitar

he's such a normie he probably doesn't even know peter green

I just watched a really boring experimental guitarist and I'm suddenly much more sympathetic to Joe's views on effects pedals.

FP

yesterday there was a telethon giving away bonamassa tickets with lots of bonamassa performances shown. i had to wonder what corner of the music market i had just wandered into.

I just had a six minute Joe music video come up AS AN AD on Youtube.

Seems like he could make bank if he went Country.

I was just checking out Jim Suhler and Monkey Beat (Thorogood's second guitarist) and one track had a long, winding solo, partly Bill Nelson hyperspeed and partly that huge Hendrix-y sound Robin Trower got on Bridge of Sighs. It was an interesting solo and didn't really sound like the rest of the record, so I checked the credits and it's Bonamassa. So now I've actually heard something by him I like.

I get it too Eddie. But part of being a total musician is embracing all music and diving down the musical rabbit holes. I’ve listened to BB King to EVH to Frank Sinatra and back. I was 17 too but I knew Ron Wood played bass with the Jeff Beck Group. https://t.co/bSD1NshzWg

— Joe Bonamassa (Official) (@JBONAMASSA) December 3, 2019

incredible on-brand #content from our hero there

one must assume that as a total musician he is very familiar with billie eilish's own back catalogue

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgE9JKHU-f4

Wow, Bonamassa's got pretty big ears I'll give him that

reads like one of those classic Introduce Yourselves posts

loving this take

First off, who is Billie Eilish? Most likely, she'll be forgotten in 10 years. BIGGER POINT is how Van Halen have ruined their legacy since the nonsense of firing Hagar in 1996, and then decades of inactivity and career missteps. Look to The Rolling Stones on preserving legacy.

— Wes Olesen (@WesOlesen) December 3, 2019

some GIRL would never have the lasting cultural legacy of *checks notes* Sammy Hagar???

the comments on that post are a goldmine of capital-t Takes

keenly awaiting Bob Lefsetz's take on Joe's take

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gkbn_X57VCw

may we be shown bonamassa tweets with very happy guys

Thank you for coming. We had a blast! 😎👍 https://t.co/m1KV5m2eV5

— Joe Bonamassa (Official) (@JBONAMASSA) November 23, 2019

baller-ass joe making it rain at the aurora music and pawn retirement sale

What a hoot negotiating with these 2 guys today at Aurora Music and Pawn retirement sale. Congratulations on 40 years in business. 😎👍 pic.twitter.com/1aQ2OJiEqr

— Joe Bonamassa (Official) (@JBONAMASSA) October 31, 2019

pretty sure Van Halen have ruined their legacy since hiring Sammy Hagar in 1985

are you suggesting Hagar is... Horrible

joe, what the hell dude

Good! I hope they throw the book at him. 😎👍 https://t.co/sG5VIoXsa8

— Joe Bonamassa (Official) (@JBONAMASSA) August 23, 2019

Sorry to swear on social media but... Fuck you!! I hope they find you and throw the key away for a long time. https://t.co/NyXirrd9xL

— Joe Bonamassa (Official) (@JBONAMASSA) July 27, 2019

Why people suck.... Why social media sucks .... right here... What a disgusting, imbecilic and dangerous thing to do. https://t.co/A77trYXEuu

— Joe Bonamassa (Official) (@JBONAMASSA) July 4, 2019

Joe is correct that ice cream is serious business

Do not ask if you can get a taste of Joe's bourbon-pecan in a waffle cone.

I bet I could totally pwn Joe Bonamassa in a trivia contest that covered Baroque music, 90s folk, Irish jigs, progressive jazz, synthpop, and children's music.

He probably knows more about boring blues shit by middle-aged white guys, tho. So I guess it's a tie.

Ironic that a white blues guy is so upset about people stealing licks

actual lols

a+

👏👏👏

well done

Ayeee

A guitar nerd listened to BB King, Eddie van Halen *AND* Jeff Beck?! Wow, astounding.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ0epRjfGLw

Sorry to swear on social media but... Fuck you, Joe!!

Joe Bonamassa has such strong boomer energy he already looks like he's in his 60s.

He's not????

42 years soulful

jesus! he is younger than me...

beautiful joygoat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGbDYUoDn4Y

https://www.guitarworld.com/amp/artists/joe-bonamassa-its-easy-to-play-marginally-good-blues-its-very-difficult-to-play-great-blues

Also:

So we’re looking forward to getting into the raunchy weather and, you know, putting our ‘wellies’ on and cranking one out properly.”

https://cdn.statically.io/img/returnofrock.com/f=auto/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Joe-Bonamassa.jpg
https://secureservercdn.net/198.71.233.138/409.db2.myftpupload.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Joe-Bonamassa-660x330.jpg
https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/dny9fq9HknJGLgWoMZ74GZ-1024-80.jpeg
https://gui✧✧✧.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/GM387-Joe-Bonamassa-Credit-Jim-Herrington-HERO✧✧✧@2560x1✧✧✧.j✧✧
https://www.bluesmagazine.nl/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/joe-bonamassa-photography-marco-van-rooijen.jpg
https://gui✧✧✧.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/GM387-Joe-Bonamassa-Credit-Kit-Wood✧✧✧@2160x2✧✧✧.j✧✧

https://bluesrockreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/jbportland-e1544037446757.jpg
https://www.vintageguitar.com/wp-content/uploads/3153/00-bonamassa.jpg
http://www.nationalrockreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/rsz_joe_bonamassa_by_john_hayhurst_9a-e1556610298403.jpg

https://scontent.fedi1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/123108172_10158688304689659_1055040894586259117_n.png?_nc_cat=1&ccb=2&_nc_sid=2c4854&_nc_ohc=Lx7JGXXm1hwAX99pbTw&_nc_ht=scontent.fedi1-1.fna&oh=f8d23ad325993faf5c68bc8383288dcc&oe=5FC8DC3A
https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.1410113892.0786/mwo,x1000,ipad_2_skin-pad,1000x1000,f8f8f8.jpg
https://jbonamassa.com/features/2017/planet-rock-award/img/article-img.jpg

thanks bg he's the hero we need right now

if anything can heal your fractured nation it's the respectful blues stylings of jonas k. bonamassa

feeling this

His playing gives his fans a massive bona

Mr Trump is full of shit when he comes to our state and says there is no drought. I'm not a democrat either. pic.twitter.com/usuJIU6pFS

— Joe Bonamassa (Official) (@JBONAMASSA) May 29, 2016

when I see him in those suits I know he's gonna give it "the business", you know?

xp dril or Joe Bonamassa???

I can no longer see anyone holding a double neck guitar without immediately hearing this in my head
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n1l-_UiWbs

haha that tweet is amazing

I like Joe Bonamassa as a concept I won't lie

his suits are so terrible lol

I conducted a Bonamassa vs Rory Gallagher guitar solo test a while ago, and Rory won.

Every time I go into a Barnes & Noble they always have like 23 different albums by this guy in the CD area, basically 2/3rds of the entire 'B' section.

23 is pretty impressive, considering he only sells 12 different blankets on his website:

https://shop.jbonamassa.com/collections/collectible-blankets

pls someone else start the OFFICIAL ILX JOE BONAMASSA BLANKET POLL i’m still recovering from putting together my last posts itt

rory is one of the only white blooz dudes that i can listen to

Well that's Xmas sorted out, can't wait to snuggle up with my special lady beneath a 2014 Collectible Bonamassa Guitarology Blanket.

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0533/5597/products/2014-Collectible-Bonamassa-Guitarology-Blanket.jpg

every picture i've seen of this dude has him playing a les paul which feels wrong because he's a blue quilted maple PRS with bird inlays and gold hardware in human form

yeah tbh he has pretty good taste in guitars usually just really nice, expensive vintage classic models i don't think i've seen him play anything dorky

I’ve always loved the look of those sunburst Les Paul’s since I was a kid

Whenever I see this dude's name, I imagine his fanbase featuring v v v heavy overlap with this meme:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EEeXxjTXoAASsNv.jpg

eh I dunno he's pretty guitar geek

Yeah, maybe that's not exactly fair, not having heard him at all. I guess I got more Blues Hammer vibe than Satriani vibes off the guy.

yah more just boring dad vibes. silver haired guy with the aviators seems about right.

Would love to see this guy suddenly start playing nothing but those weird guitars Lou Reed always seemed to be playing in the 80s

That, or a Steinberger

I want to see this guy in full page adverts for Ovation Breadwinners, talking in depth about their special tone etc

STOP REPLYING AND MAKING THIS THE TOP THREAD ON ILM!!!

fuck, i'm part of the problem.

Just got this huge banner ad opening up Billboard.com.

https://imgur.com/a/M6VTlQj

https://i.imgur.com/2nmXsWk.png

well now i know what i want for xmas

wait it's a documentary?

Kick back and experience the incredible journey of legendary guitarist, @JBONAMASSA. Buy or rent #GuitarManMovie on Digital now https://t.co/ENGq5M8fzP pic.twitter.com/Y1bzikx7l0

— Paramount Movies (@ParamountMovies) December 9, 2020

Dresses like a day trader, sings about "living in a dustbowl"

Hmmm, what title should we give to this movie about a man who plays guitar?

Guitarzan is gonna be pissed off

“legendary”

(Even if he wasn’t a running joke - legendary?)

I'm Not A Guitar Man; I'm A Guitar, Man.

Joe Bonamassa is a professional blues guitar collector, who is recognised as one of the world’s foremost authorities on blues guitar collecting

"guitar man" is the funniest title

can we do a thread where we all watch it at the same time and make rude comments

seconded

we should schedule a time in this thread tbh

promoted article i got on FB

Joe Bonamassa explains huge mistake you must not make when buying guitars, remembers purchasing $4,250 Fender Strat when he was 13 years old 🎸 🎸 🎸

Whomst among us has not done the same?

https://www.facebook.com/JoeBonamassa/posts/the-syracuse-new-times-says-i-lack-passion-for-my-music-dont-respect-my-band-mem/10150902013849659/

Joe Bonamassa feuding with the alt-weekly in his hometown about a negative review = one of the all-time classic facebook threads

You GET 'EM JOE!! Obviously (REDACTED) hasn't gotten laid in a VERY long time!! Okay...sorry...that wasn't very tasteful, but I am HIGHLY offended by her reviews. You are a prodigy and have been blessed by the music gods!! Just keep doing what you're doing, rack up those platinum records and sell out your concerts. Some of us will continue to travel across the country just to see and hear you perform!! Love ya Joe!!!

THEY obviously have never seen your work , your passion oozzes from the strings. And so , someone just wanted to read the words they wrote and see their name attached to it.... THE pen is no longer mightier then the sword.... when you have concerts and YOUtube to not back up their claim.... so naaNAAnaaBOOboo... yes they suck & JOE you are amazing !!!!

your passion oozzes from the strings

Eww, gross

Joe Bonamassa definitely wrote both of those comments.

Hi David. I don’t get on Twitter much but just wanted to let you know I’m really digging your album Here If You Listen. A masterpiece!

— David Crosby (@thedavidcrosby) November 26, 2020

lmao

oh hey maybe i'll just see what's on tv right now

https://i.imgur.com/OgtOBMs.jpg

Peter Green
3.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Reviewed in Canada on November 16, 2020
a lot of noise
some good playing , but not a lot of content

the Bonermaster don't have what it takes. Dud

It's here.......

https://www.guitarworld.com/reviews/epiphone-joe-bonamassa-black-beauty-les-paul-custom-review

Marty: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Joe: Well, if you're on ten on the amp, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar - where can you go from there? Where?
Marty: I don't know.
Joe: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty: Add another humbucker.
Joe: Exactly.

haha yeah I really wonder what is the use of the middle when they are so jammed together in ther

https://www.themainthing.co.uk/images/ww/artist/Joe-Bonamassa-2_mn.jpg https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/dril9047/images/a/ab/Drilavatar.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/240?cb=20170716192717

I guess someone made that ref upthread

Do you think this guy actually enjoys playing the music he plays? I'm just trying to imagine being that good at guitar and only wanting to do those cliched "WEEE WEEE WEEE WEEEEEEEEE DEE-DUH-WHEEDLY-DUDDY-DUH" solos over and over again.

nobody enjoys the music. but they sure do enjoy the chicken wings.

https://i.imgur.com/TyI0yxr.png

https://www.guitarplayer.com/news/joe-bonamassa-asks-for-safe-return-of-missing-fender-the-bludgeon-nocaster

“Just off the phone with the very nice representative from FedEX," Bonamassa wrote in a follow-up Instagram post. "So basically what they are saying is that my guitar is MIA within their system without recourse nor hope of solution.

...

“I will try not to play detective here, but I would surmise that it was stolen probably by someone who had access to the truck or the distribution facility," he continued. "To be honest, a 23 pound guitar box does not just disappear that easily with or without a tracking number."

enough to give one the blues

That Bloodline band (called Bloodline because the other 4 members were sons of famous musicians) that was mentioned upthread was formed by his manager to serve as his backing band but then after their first tour they decided they wanted to play a different style - and also go on without him

wow what wild lineup

Bloodline's name was chosen based on the fact that four of the group's founding members were the sons of famous musicians – Hagar of Van Halen frontman Sammy Hagar, Krieger of former The Doors guitarist Robby Krieger, Oakley Jr. of original Allman Brothers Band bassist Berry Oakley, and Davis of prolific jazz trumpeter Miles Davis.

"what are you DOING to fleetwood mac??" (C. Grisso/McCain) at 11:17 9 Dec 20

I'm Not A Guitar Man; I'm A Guitar, Man.

underrated post

Joe-Z

BEHOLD.....THE BLUDGEON

https://www-guitarworld-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.guitarworld.com/amp/news/joe-bonamassa-51-nocaster-first-look?amp_gsa=1&_js_v=a6&usqp=mq331AQIKAGwASCAAgM%3D#amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&aoh=16244945858140&csi=0&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&share=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.guitarworld.com%2Fnews%2Fjoe-bonamassa-51-nocaster-first-look

sic URL bro
https://www.guitarworld.com/amp/news/joe-bonamassa-51-nocaster-first-look

During his visit, JoBo grabbed the Nocaster to squeeze out some tasty blues licks for GW Editor-in-Chief Damian Fanelli and Tech Editor Paul Riario, and tell some great stories and anecdotes about the instrument.

the tasty licks of JoBo's NoNo

god I hope he wiped it up afterward

i thought jobo was like exclusively a gibson guy now. so hard to keep track.

too much mojo for just one guitar company

JoBo PRS, or GTFO

Playin on the string like a JoBo
Customizin NoNos, they sayin I got too much mojo

Chewin' on a HoHo, Sleepin' at the HoJo
Give it all up to honk on just one BoBo

Is there a job at the Fender factory distressing these guitars? I had a job at a mirror frame factory when I was 19, and one of the tasks was dinging up the gilt frames on certain orders with a little chisel.

My cats are good at distressing Fender amps, if that is also a desirable look.

“Master built” Fender relics go for $8000-20k+ I assume the job itself is quite lucrative.

alas Jobbo’s is the real deal, not a Custom Shop® Relic®

Is there a job at the Fender factory distressing these guitars?

yes and a lot of the processes are proprietary

Maybe I could get a job doing continuity. Fifties styled guitars should be relicized to about 12-15 years of wear in order to recapture the period classic rock was recorded, not 70 years. Belt buckle wear should be minimal, because big buckles were a 70s thing, so it would just be starting.

They need cigarette smoking robots to coat the guitars with a quarter inch of nicotine.

acquire vintage zima to recreate time period specific drink spills

milo this Tele started life as Sonic Blue - and it's a polyester finish too
https://i.imgur.com/iccTSDL.jpg
I've had it suggested that the colour is now "Marlboro Gold"

Joe now has a one-off Uni-Vibe pedal with his own picture on it. And it's perfectly named!

https://www.gearnews.es/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/joe-bonamassa-vibe-bro-pedal.jpg

Algorithm-free, I trust.

lol I read that as Vile Bro.

^^Vile Bro is the name of his power trio.

Joe Bonamassa was on the latest episode of To Tell The Truth. Two out of the three panelists correctly guessed that contestant #2 was A Blues Musician. Then Joe played some horseshit on a resonator guitar.

I want those minutes of my life back.

I saw a tweet about how part of his stage schtick now is to shred for a bit and then have fake blood spurt from his fingers

"Will the real Joe Bonamassa please stand up and shred?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw7lbGqc4x8

Paul Butterfield on To Tell The Truth

Joe Bonamassa seems to be the guy that boomers point to as evidence that they do too listen to new music.

lol my folks are watching that To Tell the Truth ep as we speak

I saw a tweet about how part of his stage schtick now is to shred for a bit and then have fake blood spurt from his fingers

― papal hotwife (milo z), Tuesday, August 24, 2021 7:11 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

haha what???

would love it if someone like put little hidden blades in his guitar and he sliced his fingers for real and nobody helped him cos they thought it was part of set

Like when Tommy Cooper died

a few tours away from them nailing joe to a cross of guitars at the end of the show

but you know those Gethsemane Blues precede it

i only want to say
if there is a way
take his axe
away from him
cos i don't want to
hear his playing

if the ads i see on the sides of local buses are to be believed, his performance here will be the 'guitar event of the year'

― global tetrahedron, Thursday, February 23, 2017 12:51 PM (four years ago) bookmarkflaglink

He has TV ads saying this now.

US Government:Infrastructure Week::Joe Bonamassa: Guitar Events of The Year

he plays some cities that Pat Metheny will also play in the same year. but tbf to joe, pat's dates are ultimately the 'hair event of the year'.

Waiting for the Joe/Shen Yun crossover.

amazed he hasnt' just leaned into calling himself Bonermaster

Fender Bonermaster

Joe knows it's wiser to dance around "Bonermaster", leaving enough implied for the listener to draw it out of the empty space and to their own lips.

his record of solo guitar, Bonamasturbation, drops soon

One guy in a room...with one guitar...one pedal...one amp...one mic...and one bound volume of Oui.

one bottle of Fretboard Doctor

would love to read pat do an epic takedown of joe like he did kenny g

Metheny's not exactly Mr. Blues Authenticity himself, though. Would rather read, say, Billy Gibbons on Bonamassa.

U haters are just jealous because he has lots of money and pulls the babes. Not one of you can go WEE WAH WEEDLYWEEDLY WEENT WEENT WEEEEEEE like he can on any number of 59 Les Pauls so suck it haters

Honestly Billy probably likes the guy

Huh I guess Bonnamassa has a podcast and Billy was on it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcEo6M1Lm9c

Would rather read, say, Billy Gibbons on Bonamassa

Has Billy ever talked smack wrt other musicians? He seems too courteous to do that.

https://www.guitarplayer.com/news/truth-is-i-hate-the-way-i-play-guitar-joe-bonamassa-speaks-candidly-in-our-exclusive-interview?

“When I put on the suit, I become “that guy.” And therein lies part of the success and part of the problem,” reveals Bonamassa before going on to confess, “Truth is, I hate the way I play guitar. I hate the way I sing. I know I can do it pretty well, but I wish I could do it so much differently.”

I think he's read this thread.

I hate the way checks pile up on the out of style mail desk in my kitchen

A clip of Bonamassa and Clapton just showed up in my fb feed and it sucked so hard, yet it sucked in such a suble, hard to pinpoint way. They do everything right, everything spot on, and they are completely scrubbed clean of anything poetic, anything resembling actual suffering, anything ambiguous, anything surprising. They are a well-oiled blues machine. They sound like BB King and they feel like BB-8.

That’s an insult to BB-8!

https://www.guitarworld.com/news/gibson-1960-les-paul-sold-to-joe-bonamassa?

Chewin' on a HoHo, Sleepin' at the HoJo
Give it all up to honk on just one BoBo

― blue whales on ambient (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, June 23, 2021 11:10 PM (ten months ago) bookmarkflaglink

#onethread

it is time

https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/71a6fcf/2147483647/strip/true/crop/2048x1365+0+0/resize/1200x800!/quality/80/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Ff9%2Fd9%2F8861accb3b96cf3aeedb7477ed14%2Fla-gettyimages-485313302-jpg-20150831
https://preview.redd.it/eix0odjomdi91.jpg?width=623&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0234290c19df313e7945a32a8d66fba59e3cab0e
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0533/5597/products/BONA-VISION-NO-FRAME_500x.png?v=1653492903
https://multifiles.pressherald.com/uploads/sites/4/2022/09/Bonamassa-1662950308.jpg
https://c8.alamy.com/comp/BBM1T1/budapest-hungary-may-22-joe-bonamassa-performs-at-millenaris-teatrum-BBM1T1.jpg
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/f3ghwUldAy8/maxresdefault.jpg

Our Drummer @tal_bergman has this ability to see into the future ... Of our hairlines. What do you think? pic.twitter.com/WjrU4YFcEE

— Joe Bonamassa (Official) (@JBONAMASSA) August 9, 2013

https://i.imgur.com/MJ8kZBT.jpg

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news/general_music_news/joe_bonamassa_announces_hes_quitting_social_media_after_comments_aimed_at_his_looks.html

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/static/article/draft/177089_daiO2LLfvGoP7ZlQ_86471.jpeg

LEAVE JOE ALONE!

What's so refreshing about talented musicians like Bonamassa is their sense of humor

“Yes, you may be about to play a sold-out show in Tucson. But you are still Joe Bonamassa.”

rich tones

Joe's balding pate makes him more relatable to his core audience.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Guitar/comments/7b5sff/news_joe_bonamassa_called_pedal_users_fing_lazy/

Torn between lol-cringe and grudging respect for this bozo. He comes through town seems like once a year, plays at 1,000-1,500 seat theaters, I like that it's still possible to do that road warrior thing and build a niche audience. Just don't make me go to a show plz.

this dude is Kenny Wayne Shepherd if he'd been a better player and knew how to market to rockists

That guy David Gilmour was as lazy as can be! No talent, just pedals!

-Dr JP69

Joe Bonamassa: Hell Toupee (the album cover has him wearing a hairpiece styled into devil horns...The Bonermaster is also on fire)

joe u coward write a blues song about male pattern baldness

Tracklisting
1. Wherever I May Comb
2. I Believe I'll Dust my Dome
3. Shiny Happy People
4. Last Hair Deal Gone Down
5. Long Pate Dome
6. Hairway to Nothin
7. Steady Baldin Man
...

Mannish Bald

Comb on in My Kitchen

Folliculi, Follicula

Almost Combed My Hair

Baldin' the Jack

Total Eclipse of the Part

7 Rooms of Groom

squeeze my lemon, baby, till the hair falls off my head

Hair, There, and Everywhere

Scalp! I need somebody

Scalp! Not just anybody

You Can Leave Your Wighat On

Everybody Toupees the Fool

Lost Hair Deal Gone Down

Bald Right Now

My Baby Left Me (And So Did My Hair)

Rumors spreadin round
In that Texas town
Bout that shack outside La Mange

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie
Toupée

B-B-B-B-B-B-bald
B-B-B-B-B-B-bone

honestly he comes across as a pretty decent dude from what i've seen

Rogained and Confused

Xpost

ums, you are right of course. He's become a fun pinata to whack at because (a) many people think his music is boring as fuck, and (b) because he is praised by a certain sort of person whose tastes do not align with mine.

But I do not really wish him (or anyone) harm, as a person. There are a lot of people making music that I don't need to hear, and they are not necessarily bad people. Mocking his hair, clothing, and/or guitar choices is (comparatively) innocent fun.

nice of you to tell me that before I kidnapped him for you

born under no hairline
farther up the scalp
you've got to lose hair with a feeling

Hair, There and Everyone

Aaargh!
Hair, There and Everywhere

afraid YMP beat you to it upthread

sorry but the guy is a total cork sniffer douche. see derek trucks for an example of how to be a white guy blues rock technician with a degree of humility and a healthy understanding of how your music fits into the tradition.

Sure, but does Trucks currently offer 74 varieties of baby and toddler wear on his website?

(I counted.)

Baby taking a huge bonamassa

*drenching plate of scrambled eggs with Hot Bonamassauce*
"he's an all right sort of guy"

Waiting for the Bonamassa theme park

afraid YMP beat you to it upthread
Oops, sorry! Can't keep up with YMP and Neanderthal on this thread.

don't even build the roller coaster. Whole experience is waiting in line, tellin' your mama how you gotta get on that slow train that's surely comin'.

ok many decent points have been made but I legit lolled at "born under no hairline"

I will say that love Susan Tedeschi to no end, but I do not enjoy Trucks. Probably a good egg personally, but not someone whose music I need in my life.

see derek trucks for an example of how to be a white guy blues rock technician with a degree of humility and a healthy understanding of how your music fits into the tradition.

maybe a VR mama, the way new theme park rides go these days

Lost Hair Deal Gone Down

Partial to La Mange m'self...

No one did Bald Under A Bad Sign yet?

Tarfumes, I think Sufjan Grafton got there

great work team, I knew this strategy workshop retreat was a good idea

How about:
Patches (I'm Depending On You Comb)

For Whom The Bald Tolls

Crazy Baldsolo

St. James Hair Replacement Clinic

Ha!

Ginger Baker's Hair Force

Sunshine of Your Plugs

Dark was the night, bald was the ground

I said, Lord, take me downtown
I'm just looking for a brush

I’m gonna get up in the morning
I believe I’ll brush my groom

I went down to the crossroads
Hair fell out round my knees

I interviewed Joe once ... right at the beginning of COVID. I remember because the show was canceled a week later.

He was pleasant enough to talk to ... a bona fide (guitar and otherwise) dork, in a good way, but a dork with pretty much exactly the amount of arrogance you would expect from someone in his position. Not *too* arrogant (which would not be surprising), but obviously not the ideal amount of aw-shucks humility, either. Fake-ish self-deprecating, but also unwilling to be made fun of anonymously on the internet.

I think he is a true believer in the blues and thinks he is out there keeping it alive ... not sure he grasps how silly he seems, even a little bit.

She Moves Through the Hair.

The Hair Is Gone

Bald Together Now

Can't Lose What You Ain't Never Had needs no revisions

Paying The Cost To Be The Boss With All This Hair Loss

Live At Cook County Barber's Institute

It Serve You Right to Slough Hair

^^^A+^^^

I Asked For Shampoo (She Gave Me A Razor)

Mid-way down through that Reddit post (many, many xposts upthread) a shoegaze discussion breaks out and someone hears Slowdive for the first time and digs it. So thank you Joe Bonamassa for helping keep the scene keep on celebrating itself!

There's a new Bonamassa special on PBS, he's playing a song inspired by "Kashmir" (complete w/strings), and there's a theremin solo.

I've still never heard this guy, but I find him really inspiring.

Sponsored post on FB from the official Bonamassa page (emojis & capitalization the Bonermaster's own):

Caption: I will die on this mountain 😎 👍

Quote Meme of Joe: "THE BIGGEST THREAT TO GUITAR MANKIND IS THE NOTION THAT STAGE VOLUMES NEED TO BE LOWER THAN THE VOLUME IN WHICH WE SPEAK"

What’s the best way to ask a particularly rowdy neighbor to keep the volume down on a Sunday night? Send a passive-aggressive text message to the neighborhood WhatsApp group? March over and bang on the door, demanding them to keep quiet? Classic solutions, but not always the most successful.

How about crank a Dumble Overdrive Special guitar amp and rip through a timeless Deep Purple hit to give them a taste of their own medicine? Yeah, that’s more like it.

That was precisely Joe Bonamassa’s method of choice last weekend, when an especially noisy private party emanating from the nearby Houdini Estate threatened to disrupt the peace that had been established at the Kingdom of Nerdville.

Indeed, as darkness engulfed the Hollywood Hills on Sunday night, Nerdville was invaded by an unwanted battery of far-too-loud-for-a-school-night R&B music, which had been launched by a group of over-zealous partygoers at the multi-million-dollar property.

Duty-bound to protect the sacred confines of the Nerdville museum as its Mayor, Bonamassa clearly wasn’t going to take the challenge lying down, and did what any discerning guitar aficionado would do: hastily throw together a makeshift rig and return the favor with some equally zealous riffage.

As far as last minute rigs go, Bonamassa’s wasn’t half bad: a Dumble Overdrive Special was paired with his prized “Principal Skinner” 1959 Gibson Les Paul, serial number 9-1951.
With the help of two of the most elusive and sought-after pieces of guitar gear on the planet, Bonamassa took the fight to those disturbing the peace, returning fire with a wailing, horizon-filling rendition of Smoke on the Water.

“Sunday night and the Houdini private party folks are rocking a bit too hard for Nerdville standards at this hour,” he wrote on Instagram. “So I came up with an extreme solution to a simple problem. With the help of Mr. Skinner and Mr. Dumble.”

Unsurprisingly, Bonamassa’s no-nonsense methods of protecting the peace were well-received among his peers. Joanne Shaw Taylor commented, “Hank approves,” while Gibson’s Mat Koehler simply wrote, “Epic!”

Christone “Kingfish” Ingram, Samantha Fish and Glenn Hughes were also among those who supported JoBo’s high-octane methods.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news/general_music_news/this_isnt_guitar-collecting_socialism_joe_bonamassa_responds_to_trolls_who_call_him_out_for_buying_too_many_vintage_guitars.html

"When I posted a '54 Goldtop I got from the grandchildren of the original owner in Massachusetts, I had several people [saying], 'Oh, another one [that's] never gonna see the light of day; just think about the music that can be played [on it] if somebody else bought it.'"

"Wait a minute. Let's unpack this logic. First of all, the grandchildren contacted me [for] two reasons. One, they knew I collected guitars. And two, they knew I offered a good home and a fair price. End of story. This isn't guitar-collecting socialism. It's not one guitar for everybody."

equally zealous riffage!

"Mayor of Nerdville" #XTCFirstDrafts

love too plug into several hundred thousand dollars’ worth of gear to crank through a riff like i’m nervously auditioning my first epiphone through a line 6 spider at the local guitar center

this most recent revive has brought forth a realization for me: along with the amorphous entity "TICKETMASTER" -and i'm sure a few others if i put some thought into it- i now have to classify joe bonamassa as one of the great enduring villains of my lifetime. he truly does check all the boxes. mister mxyzptlk ass mofo. gtfoohwtmfbs.

a Dumble Overdrive Special was paired with his prized “Principal Skinner” 1959 Gibson Les Paul, serial number 9-1951.

...

“So I came up with an extreme solution to a simple problem. With the help of Mr. Skinner and Mr. Dumble.”

He should name his power trio "Steamed Hams"

...or have a super-sized combo: "The Steamed Ham Blues Band"

I went to the Houdini Estate once, but I... escaped

Epic!

i keep rereading the IG post and can't make any more sense of it, it's like an AI doing madlibs

Living proof that Boomer is a mindset rather than a generation.

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Bonamassa wept, for there were no more blues left to conquer

https://shop.jbonamassa.com/products/joe-bonamassa-guitar-man

free rental for 14 days!!!

you can rent joe bonamassa for 14 days?

"Watch My Movie Please Blues"

i've seen this guy while flipping channels past pbs like 3 times now, it's the only place i've ever heard of him. "who dis?" curiosity satisfied. thanks ilm and i reclaim my time.

Joe was damaged when I got him in the mail

he's just a guitar man who puts his Les Paul on one leg at a time

Nobody is answering the phone this is unacceptable I paid for expedited shipping

Guitar Man tells the incredible rise of legendary bluesman Joe Bonamassa, whose hard work and determination have made him the top-selling Blues artist of all time.

Probably, but I'm guessing might also have something to do with him having released so many damn albums and people really seem to love that Black Country Communion band he's in and I'm sure that's rolled into padding those stats.

who would be the best selling blues artist of all time (let's not count people like Clapton)

maybe BB King?
SRV?

Robert Cray had that one huge album

dan aykroyd and john belushi gotta be up there

Quick googling says SRV has sold over 15 million records, Blues Brothers sitting at about 8 million.

Is SRV 'people like Clapton' though? People like Hendrix I suppose.

I guess my argument is that he was still perceived largely as a blues artist, where Clapton had Cream, Layla, Hendrix is too broad and creative to be a strictly blues artist.

It's probably like "most Billboard Blues chart #1 albums" or something like that. No chance he's outsold SRV, probably hasn't even outsold Kenny Wayne Shepherd.

He's sold more dog blankets than the two of them combined.

pbs subs want moar moar *clap mittens*

*gently shakes last year's pledge tote in subdued appreciation*

Speaking of PBS pledge-time ubiquity, Andrea Bocelli is classical music’s Joe B.

the incredible rise of legendary guitarist Joe Bonamassa, whose hard work and determination have made him one of today’s top-selling Blues artists.
… Guitar Man tells the incredible rise of legendary bluesman Joe Bonamassa, whose hard work and determination have made him the top-selling Blues artist of all time.

pbs is where I first encountered this dipshit, he was playing soulful acoustic shit in Denmark or something it was so bad, even worse than the blueshammer shit if you can believe it, like John Martyn taking a shit.

just want to be able to post “blackberry smoke” once

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EpDkh5JYd8

PBS is showing a new special featuring JoBo backed by the LA Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl.

This is how Tár should have ended.

https://returnofrock.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Joe-Bonamassa-1360x765.jpg
https://compote.slate.com/images/54efccd7-da3a-4e22-b551-ac56e1824a59.jpeg

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news/gear/they_hide_behind_keyboards_joe_bonamassa_explains_what_people_get_wrong_about_his_guitar_collection.html

"There's plenty of other people that like it, and what do you think you're going to do? Change my mind or change my opinion about what I'm doing? It's like, 'Oh, well. Guitarlover59 says my last name is Bonermaster. I'm like, 'Oh, well, shut it down. Lay the employees off. Done. Sorry.' Because Guitarlover with 16 fucking followers knows better than I do. I'm too old for that shit."

Guitarlover59 says my last name is Bonermaster.

good dn material

guitarlover59 is not welcome on the OFFICIAL ILX JOE BONAMASSA CELEBRATION THREAD

It had to be Guitarlover59 because Guitarlover69_420 is Joe's sock account.

"Only So Much Shreds Left In These Old Arms Blues"

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news/general_music_news/joe_bonamassa_speaks_up_on_when_hes_going_to_retire_says_albums_are_becoming_less_relevant.html

"I don't have many years left in this thing" Bonamassa admitted (transcribed by Ultimate Guitar). "Maybe a decade before I just retire. I've done this [for] 36 years. We're taking this thing up to, maybe a 45-year career, and that's great. Enough. Let me go enjoy my life and not work every single day.?"

"And everybody goes, 'Oh, you're still a young man. You can go for another 35, 40 years.' That's not me. That is not gonna happen. There's only so many pitches in this arm, and use them wisely from here on out."

all those raybans aren’t going to pay for themselves, keep hustling, bona

I bet he's got more money than a bunch of well known pop stars

Great, he can use them to get roboarms.

I saw Bonamassa pre-robo arms, it was true blues, the AI just can't compete, the tone is just off

Bonamassa arms made of whiskey barrel and a tobacco core are top seller at Blues Town, Universal Studios

Authentically Reliced Bonamassa Signature Robo-Arms Featuring Tru-Blues Relaxed Fit Settings & AI-Augmented "Real Soul" Solo Functions! Select Your Choice Of Snake Or Whiskey Bottle Brand Tattoo!

https://www.guitarplayer.com/guitarists/joe-bonamassa-update-on-nerdville-guitars-after-la-fires-

"We canceled the dinner order and flew up here in the dark," Bonamassa tells Guitar Player, nothing that the pair has to use inbound back routes rather than the main roads that were being roadblocked by the police. Evacuating all 350 guitars and 300 amplifiers would be impossible, but Bonamassa says that "I've had a plan for 10 years, since I lived here." Between his Range Rover and his friend's Chevrolet Tahoe, however, they were able to take about 40 guitars and two of the amps to a storage locker Bonamassa maintains in North Hollywood, and "hope for the best" for the rest of his collection, which did survive.

----

"Tommy Bolin's Les Paul had to go," Bonamassa says. "The first black Stratocaster ever made had to go, the Broadcaster, the 10 sunburst Les Pauls that were up there had to go. They're well-known guitars in the vintage guitar community; that would be a pretty major event if 10 sunburst Les Pauls burned up in a single evening, under my watch. So we got 'em in."

Noah's Guitar Center

On-Brand: https://www.loudersound.com/bands-artists/joe-bonamassa-joanne-shaw-interview

Q: You’re great friends now , but what do you remember about your first meeting?

JB: It was at the Notodden Blues Festival in 2008. Which is amazing, but what it’s telling me is that time is fucking flying. We ran into each other at the hotel check-in.

JST: And I offended you. Because you wanted to show me your really nice old Les Paul, and I just said: “I don’t like Les Pauls” and walked off.

Is Les Paul what he calls his dick?

Forget the rocketing sales and ever-bigger venues. For rock writers, the real joy of Joe Bonamassa and Joanne Shaw Taylor’s respective success stories has been watching these two modern blues figureheads grow as interviewees.

amazing

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"Delta Acute Acoustic Trauma Blues"

Auditory health update: Last night during the latter half of the Austin show at @acllive my right ear pretty much lost 80 percent of its high end. The advice of the doctors both local to Shreveport and my trusted ENT in Los Angeles gave me was not to be around any loud noises until cleared to do so again. The diagnosis was Acute Acoustic Trauma. Given that..I feel fine and am in good voice and playing shape. The silver lining was being able to spend a low volume non amplified limited "right side hearing" few hours with a life long inspiration and friend Mr. James Burton and his family. A national treasure and a world class human being. It was an honor as always. @jamesburtonstudios Love you my friend. 😎👍👂

In all seriousness tho, OUCH!

i did not realize that James Burton was still alive