Fake bands, real songs: 50 best tunes by "made-up" musicians

'Fake' is an odd word to use for fictional

I'm miffed the Documentary Now! slot didn't go to "My Home Court" from the Co-Op episode.

hard to see past Big Bottom

Haven’t heard most of these. “Sugar Sugar” is such a big (real-life) hit, almost feels unfair to include it!

Weird not to have a Gorillaz song in here considering they might be the most succesful “fake” band.

Skeet Surfin' is the best song on TOP SECRET tho

Oh I see it’s for fake tv/cinema bands only. Seeing The Archies in there threw me off.

"Werewolf Bar Mitzvah", why not

The only qualm I have with 'Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young' as the obvious choice is that 'Nowhere Fast' might be the better Ellen Aim track. Both hardcore bangers, though.

'Can You Picture That' is a very close second place. 'A Little Bit Alexis' is my pick for best sleeper comedy track.

Damn it, OL, you stole my post re: Ellen Aim. They're both Steinman songs, for those who are unaware, and they are classic Steinman. 'Nowhere Fast' is the better of the two, for sure.

Despite my love for those tracks, teenage me has to vote for the Kelly Affair.

surely "Empty Bottle" by Dekkar deserves a spot here

I'm not up to date on my Hannah Montana lore, but does "Best of Both Worlds" really count? Like it was the theme song to the show, but was that song ever performed or mentioned within the universe of the show?

My real answer is probably "That Thing You Do," in the sense of "song I'm happy to hear at the grocery store." But I voted for "Please Mr. Kennedy" because it cracks me up, especially Adam Driver's interjections.

Which Empty Bottle is the question

I'd add Sweet Saturn Mine and BOTH Little Mouse and Machadaynu to the roster obv

Hedwig 4eva

hard to see past Big Bottom

― satori enabler (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, March 14, 2023 10:02 AM bookmarkflaglink

a+

"Sugar Sugar" isn't just the best song on the list, it's the best song ever recorded.

That's not the Carrie Nations' song I would have chosen... or the Spinal Tap one.

just occurred to me that there's a mistake in Big Bottom, "tuxedo" is American English and while I can imagine British people using it now, that generation wouldn't. obviously this is a very minor nitpick, but the film generally gets stuff right.

Pretty sure tuxedo has been in use on the UK for a long time!

Yeah, "Find It" is the Carrie Nations song they should've picked

xp think it would still be a dinner jacket or a suit jacket as of 1985

But they wouldn't have been able to rhyme those with pink torpedo.

My baby fits me like a dinner jacket
When I see her I like to whack it

Not quite the same ring to it tbh

Yeah, British people would know the word and be able to use it for the sake of a rhyme, it's not like we wouldn't have heard it. Weird thing to get hung up on, imo.

Nothing from Fear Of A Black Hat, no credibility.

xp sorry, I should have added "this obviously does not matter at all" to the start, or not posted it, that is also an option

Aren't mud flaps American too? I think they're called mud guards in the UK.

at least they didn't call it Big Fanny and change the meaning of the song completely in the UK

the Tap are fully mid-Atlantic and it makes perfect sense

I mean keep in mind Judas Priest are a Brit band and one of their biggest hits is "You've Got Another Thing Coming"

to me that kind of US-Britishes argot is a real part of big 70s rock bands

don't want to rock any boats but apparently Robert Plant wasn't from the Mississippi delta originally

That's not the Carrie Nations' song I would have chosen... or the Spinal Tap one.

wrong Rutles track too

voted "Earache My Eye"

too parochial for this poll but French and Saunders's "C'est la vie" is the greatest Abba song Abba didn't write

Several of my favorite rock musicals featuring fake rock bands (Phantom of the Paradise, Get Crazy, The Apple) are totally unrepresented here, what the what

MEAT

It's a Rolling Stone list so I doubt French & Ssunders were up for consideration. How else to explain the complete absence of the Wombles?

haven't seen VELVET GOLDMINE in forever but i remember thinking the pastiches in that were great

ooh, Chris Morris effortlessly, cheatingly really, doing the Pixies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K9VRl1CkLc

also see "Me Oh Myra"

"Baby on Board," because I always start singing it (generally to the irritation of anyone whose in the car with me) whenever I see one of those signs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuQba4inleQ

lol, that was the first dumb thing I thought of when I saw this thread pop up.

I sort of admire that they never added anything to the song other than the title and the mumbled line about stupid people in fancy clothes

There was also the “fake” album planted in real record stores by fictional band Violet Sedan Chair as promo for the tv series Fringe. “Hovercraft Mother” is the standout imo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FUdB2WnZM8

Also no Ja Ja Ding Dong?

Yeah, Phantom of the Paradise not being here is a big WTF

"You're So Beautiful," Jamal (EMPIRE)

lol are you fucking kidding?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6y47KcuI4Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX4-U2r4lS0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEn-mmFiYDs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYSopeqBRKo

Don't The Monkees qualify?

weird to see "3 small words" that high. i saw/liked the movie and song but was knew it was not the sort of thing that ppl/critics especially took seriously. i have this weirdly specific memory of going to my cousin's place once and meeting a friend she had over, who was listening to the song repeatedly to transcribe the lyrics -- i guess that was a thing ppl still did in 2001. i haven't heard the song since then but still remembered the second line being 'brown paper magazine' b/c i remember being struck by how weird it seemed when written down

i guess its placement comes down to the ppl who were young enough to actually like that movie now being old enough to write for these mags? i mean, again i enjoy it but it's not that good. not that some of the other songs up that high are any better lol, in general i find it hard to believe they couldn't come up with better examples for this list (tho i can't think of any myself). voting "sugar sugar" i guess

actually i'm voting "falling slowly"

Don't The Monkees qualify?

They should, but maybe they're being held as "better than"?

Big fan of "Pretend to be Nice" and "Backdoor Lover" from "Josie."

just occurred to me that there's a mistake in Big Bottom, "tuxedo" is American English and while I can imagine British people using it now, that generation wouldn't. obviously this is a very minor nitpick, but the film generally gets stuff right.

Well, just as Spinal Tap (like a lot of their peers) looked to the US for musical inspiration, blues and jazz, surely they looked to the US for lyrical inspiration, too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akoi-aIHN1g

Thymens & Sapperstein robbed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwMEZPjiBCE

"Tonight Is What It Means to Be Young," is the best from this list, but “The Professionals” from LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS is a huge omission

I guess the Monkees and FOTC fall into some category between fake band and real band.

I mean, Spinal Tap are a "real band" too after all

Alice Bowie the sentimental favorite, but the songs from Hedwig are actually good.

"I Think I Love You" just ahead of "Sugar Sugar." I registered my complaint elsewhere that the Partridge Family are very, very real.

"Sugar Sugar" was massive. I had the 45, probably not long after it was released. To my young brain, the Archies were 100% real.

I mean, I know the Monkees at a certain point--pretty early--played their own instruments. I'm not sure about the Partridge Family...vocals, at least, I think.

I voted for the Banana Splits--it's a really good song for a bunch of filthy animals

Also, re "It Don't Worry Me" from Nashville: I don't think I'm alone in counting Barbara Jean's "Dues" as the film's musical highlight (greatest moment, period), but that's complicated by the fact that the real Ronee Blakly included that on her debut album three years earlier. So they went with something else.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2G2zcjC8Cs

Me And My Rhythm Box from Liquid Sky is my favourite song by a fictional artist. List should include tracks from Rock Follies and Jem and the Holograms as well.

Payday (1972) with Rip Torn has some wonderful songs

Also, Breaking Glass (1980) with Hazel O’Connor basically doing the soundtrack in-character is a keeper

the songs from Slade In Flame are great but that feels like cheating because it's basically just Slade

all the Walk Hard songs are surprisingly good but I voted Banana Splits because that one's in my head all the time. plus TMBG did a fun cover of it

Mention of Payday reminds me of Kris Kristofferson in Cisco Pike doing--as the fictional character Cisco--key songs from Kristofferson's The Silver Tongued Devil and I. So I guess that doesn't count. (The album came out a few months before the film.)

Three Small Words is great but whatabout

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DNQjFB4-nQ

Oops I meant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DNQjFB4-nQ

The monkees situation is explained in the intro

We also had a long debate about what to do with the Monkees, before it was decided that at a certain point, they Pinocchio’ed their way into being a real band, and thus didn’t qualify. (Otherwise, “Daydream Believer” would have been very highly ranked.)

But honestly this is a good fun list, i like it

Write-in for Buddah Stalin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7ZJMD-aFQE

i luv the 6-5-4-3-2-1 gimmick in 3 small words but i'm easy w stuff like that

Swanky Modes!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emkef_SG0rs

well, if you're gonna do Tapeheads, you gotta have Baby Doll by Cube Squared.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnTUSgHzZx0

write-in vote for Build Your Career At Carey Business School

Rolling Stone must have overlooked The Sleez Sisters from Times Square and their tune "Your Daughter Is One"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1pwU1z8-aw

shocking omission

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmDABl1MFgE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvM3ymUKrn8

Can’t believe this didn’t make the list

Dragon Sound - Friends (this is stuck in my head often)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVtyOwcQo-w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_4bu_uoR9k

write-in for the sacred cows - "kill kill kill"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YD8FHrCHhQE

also, how the FUCK has nobody brought up Drimble Wedge and the Vegetation yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXnoWb88Jr4

LOL, was literally just about to post "No Drimble Wedge, no credibility."

Add to the growing list of write-ins:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rfU1sC5vK8

“Free Me” from Peter Watkins’ PRIVILEGE (1967) is a classic. Patti Smith’s cover a decade later is iconic

I'd add Sweet Saturn Mine and BOTH Little Mouse and Machadaynu to the roster obv

rappin' all day and I'm rappin' all night

for real though hard to argue with the number one, primetime Adam Schlesinger, and sung by Mike Viola who is my favorite unsung singer/songwriter

also surprised "killer tofu" or "need mo allowance" didn't rate, yodalay hee hoooo

When it comes to Mighty Wind, I'm partial to Eat at Joe's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAKvNhu2jww

As much as I love CB4, that's like exponentially better than "Straight Outta Locash"

well, if you're gonna do Tapeheads, you gotta have Baby Doll by Cube Squared.

Oh Yeah! Secret Devo Track!

Another glaring omission

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qD9askPYtko

I love 'Please Mr Kennedy' so much. If I had to pick a list of favourite movie scenes, that whole bit would be included

Any love for Infant Sorrow?

Inside of youuuu

I love 'Please Mr. Kennedy' so much.

Forgot all about that--loved it too.

From animated bands:

The Hex Girls from Scooby Doo and the Witch's Ghost. Not sure whether I'm a Hex Girl or Earth, Wind, Fire, and Air is the better song. They have had a few more songs throughout the years as well. They've enjoyed enough of a resurgence that there is copious Hot Topic merch devoted to them now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=attfhQWmVNA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K6YXa22owc

Would also recommend Everything's Gonna Be Alright by the Chipmunks & Chipettes, from Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQMf3rVRAfE

Not sure if the Girls of Rock & Roll would count, because it was originally used in The Malibu Bikini Shop before ending up as another Chipmunks/Chipettes duet in the Chipmunk Adventure, but it's a classic too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EB0x4ui5ANw

In the non-animated category, it is a truly guilty pleasure that I get Ming Tea's BBC stuck in my head every time someone mentions the BBC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1w85qMqIjs

Not sure if the Girls of Rock & Roll would count, because it was originally used in The Malibu Bikini Shop

Mind ... blown

Yeah, it was a pretty wtf moment when I found that out as well. I do think the Chipmunks took it to another level though.

It's Not Easy Being Green
Do The Bartman

misbehavin' by aimee-leigh and baby billy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-znj7Uf9Oo

Holy shit, that's amazing. "Runnin' through the house with a pickle in my mouth"? Also, crazy transformation there for Jennifer Nettles from Sugarland.

oh yeah, Aimee-Leigh Gemstone is a great one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OowljuWOaac

Don’t forget this Canadian content from Degrassi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAlQ9whq8Hs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f8ol_fm7-o

And that time Joanie Loved Chachi on Happy Days and it turned into a whole spinoff show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oq6VMEEabW8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4I6P0g7HUM

The Dregs of Humanity- "Sweaty Betty"

Light of Day by the Barbusters was a big song for me when I was a kid, because the video got a lot of play on Nick Rocks. I never saw the movie, but owned the soundtrack.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksrYQhFCOpg

Only recently learned that Trent Reznor has a brief scene in the movie, as part of the band The Problems, who are ridiculed by both Michael McKean and Michael J. Fox. The Problems were portrayed by the actual band he was in at the time, except that their real name was Exotic Birds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM0MmNjy97s

Megahertz - "She's Mean"

From the Weird Science TV show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yqq1zOyXvZI

Human Pudding - "Human Pudding" from Full House, who sound like a Van Halen wannabe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfHmctamVEA

Wow, the Megahertz embody a certain 1990s energy that I remember and loathed at the time. I didn't even know that show existed.

My brother and I were two of the five people who watched it

So glad someone mentioned The Dregs of Humanity. One of the all-time greatest American sitcom episodes

List fail: I submit Black Death!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSXHidwz2Ws

No idea what the song title is, but does it matter when you have Richard Pryor coming into American living rooms in 1977 dressed in proto-corpsepaint, giving drugs to the mostly white audience (including a young Sandra Bernhard who writer for the show), and then literally killing them all?

Hell yeah!

So glad someone mentioned The Dregs of Humanity. One of the all-time greatest American sitcom episodes

I was not aware of this sitcom… it sounds like a must-see! Apparently it is streaming on fuboTV, a service “Starting at $74.99/mo.”

(Oh snap – it’s free on “Crackle”)

i voted Archies “Sugar Sugar” bc you cannot deny the perfection also Andy Kim!

but man i almost voted Little Bit Alexis

34. "Fever Dog," Stillwater (ALMOST FAMOUS)

The best Stillwater song is Piggy-Back Ride.

Also, cant' forget Explöded Diper by Löded Diper

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQD_fanPkns

I still get these stuck in my head years later:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLlkGEyDug0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLyMjIccjL4

it was mentioned upthread but this video should be here, a strong contender!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NtcSrZoq5s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ3cWWNXBHg

Riverbottom Nightmare Band

List should include tracks from Rock Follies and Jem and the Holograms as well.

― soref, Tuesday, March 14, 2023 3:47 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

And the Misfits!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMv4KJlWQb8

This was my Jem pick:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQKs0eQHZRs

"I Hate the Bloody Queen" by the Queen Haters (from SCTV) seems like a major omission.

xp YES I came here to Jempost.

My Jem pick (Jem goes neo-psych):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN9CRfbwCQI

...and for the Misfits:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBZwMzLkHAk

Kimber and Stormer's side project might actually be my favorite of all:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iinCliptuFY

I forgot about "I Dig Pain"... that's a classic "fake punk" representation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd3NG2JX6lc

Somebody call Grapefruit Records--I think we've got a box set here!

and not forgetting the immortal, unsurpassable sound of flipin

_____*BLUESHAMMER*______

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z97FaPFkkcc

Kraftwerk Orange "I am electro boy" is a jam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45piRm2-DV8

todd rivers "one track lover":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO-ZGP68-3w

not sure this punk band is from alan bleasdale's "no surrender" have a name, but...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN-h_K86_zA

Let's not forget "The Clapham" by Kipper!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6_i-13KIZU

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Scrolled down looking for this:

Don’t forget this Canadian content from Degrassi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAlQ9whq8Hs

― Kim,

What was great about Zit Remedy is that they only actually had this one song

Love all these - had forgotten about You All Everybody lol
One Track Lover is my fave.

There are way better songs from Josie and The Pussycats, i.e. the DuJour ones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwykvrwvWW4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRSkYTB_Lv0

I like Black Sheep from Scott Pilgrim too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xcSDYy3Dl4

Oh yeah, "Back Door Lover" is great.

Coming from behind with the lights down low.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyvkNDtW7Lw

mysterious overnight underground rave sensation CYBERSTORM from the film (video) vibrations!

good results. didn't vote for it but loved that song in ILD