what's so bad about coldplay?

people keep talking about how utterly amazing they are but i can't see it/don't hear it...they're no better than the Dave Matthews Band really though who seem to be the epitomy of tried and trusted but insipid conservative pop rock, minus whatever fun might lie in that - the only reason i don't mind 'Clocks' is for that extremely U2-esque bit in the middle which is crazy i know...i find DOves fulfil all my contemporary middle-of-the-blokerock needs personally, partly because they're that bit more clever and it sounds less-cliched all round, not much need for any other bands in a similar vein

It's a bit of the same problem I have with U2, where four guys are playing sort of pointless wallpaper guitar plods and yet there's this general vibe, both visual and auditory, of their spreading their arms back as if they're standing dramatically on cliffsides and the wind of change is sweeping sublimely over them, tossing back their sensitive golden locks. You can really hear it in there, and it's very, very irritating. And the chiming riff from that single ("In my Place?") is deeply wrong. I let lines repeat over 16, 20 bars in my own songs, and I still get annoyed by that riff: that riff is like being stuck in a car with a full bladder while the 90 year old driver tries to parallel park just so. The singer does that hands thing through the whole video, too, doesn't he? That whole cliffside-style leaning over with arms outstretched and swooning to the awesome power of ... umm ... strummy open chords and a melody I can't quite remember?

Then there were comparative bits re: 70s soft-rock. Also I explained why I nevertheless enjoyed "Yellow," which Mark P did not:

MARK P: Nitsuh the ultra-compressed dirge of that boneheaded shield of electric guitar in "Yellow" is 'modern rock' at its k-ugliest!

NABISCO: It had that nice understated sigh, "It was all ... yellow," and I'd always think to myself that if Harriet Wheeler were singing it it's exactly the sort of thing I would have loved when I was 13.

But I'll spare you.

Anyway Nabisco, 'Yellow' aside, I think my fondness for Coldplay is pretty well documented round these parts.

THE LYRICS.

Read them and all that is wrong, pointless, vague in motivation and mitheringly middle-class in attitude will come flooding to you. Rock bands with lyrics this piss-weak and non-commital, this close to containing all the unique insight of yer average episode of 'Cold Feet' really are clogging up the universe with yet more shit shit shit.

And that's all there is to it.

And Gwyneth Paltrow's a simpering bitch. Will that do?

and I don't know why people keep accusing me of trolling

But Neil what's wrong with that?

My only issue with them is this: if not for the constant never-ending boundless hype surrounding the group, if it was based solely on their music, I would have forgotten all about them long ago.

Why is it so hard for everyone to separate the hype from the music (likewise with Norah Jones)? It's kind of an embarrassing admission methinks.

Uh, wrong. VERY wrong. I hate them and I don't pay much attention blah blah. It's not that simple.

"Clocks" is unbearable, though.

They played the Grammys with the New York Philharmonic. The intro was for a truly innovative band, taking music in new directions.... or some such. Was very surprised when it turned out to be Coldplay. Can't figure out what's so innovative about an MOR quartet (quintet? I never bothered to count how many there were).

From the intro, I figured it had to be Radiohead... or some band that would never appear on the telecast, like G!Y!B!E! or sigur ros.

i really can't wait for the next Radiohead album to put a stop to this hehe

i.e chris peers manfully into the depths of his soul, but invites us all to sing along!

coldplay > travis > embrace

"...whistles out a tuneless theme song
of a hundred cheap suggestions
and a million false seductions
and all those eternal questions
well, what do we care if the world is a joke?"

-Elvis Costello

a) they have to stop voting Tory
b) they have to start taking Class A drugs on a regular basis

That's all guys - keep up the good work.

You might have just answered your own question...

But it's never just meant that.

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 27th, 2003.

I'm with you, Nick. I put a couple Coldplay songs on a mix CD once, for my uncle. Now. my uncle's a real cool guy, and he even has a lot of records. But I had a hell of a time putting a mix together for him. He likes some rockin', but I didn't think he'd get Ween. He likes some alt-country, but I didn't think he'd get Wilco. He loves David Gray. Et cetera, ad nauseum. But Coldplay... yes. This, he'll get.

They're not bad. They're just that one all-important notch lower.

If it's a favorite song, why would I describe it as bland?

You've let us know where you stand in this territory repeatedly, and I respect your opinion. But be careful not to rule out the possibility that we really don't like the music we're always saying we don't like, and that we have our reasons.

For the record, I have no problem with Coldplay fans. I do not think they're being bamboozled in any way. But I do think that maybe with a little prodding, they might listen to something that they'd get even more out of. You might even say that when I write about music, it's the Coldplay fan that I'n trying to convince. I certainly harbor no resentment for these people.

Because "bland" as a word is a descriptor, not a criticism.

How sanctimonous you are to tell me what a prick I am. I look down on everyone who doesn't know as much about music as I do.

Freudian typo?

But I do think that maybe with a little prodding, they might listen to something that they'd get even more out of.

Who's to say they don't already? Do you think that Coldplay is as left-field as their listening gets?

But too many people conflate the two simply because of the smoothness -- they're conditioned to believe that if it's smooth, it must be "dull," and I hate that sort of thinking. "Bland" should be a value-neutral word.

I'd use it. I like the Carpenters. They made bland music. I wouldn't dispute that for a second.

Good point.

Everything has a flavor, even "bland" food.

Well, sure, fine. Ok. Mashers and pinto beans have some flavor. Tastes like mashers and pinto beans, specifically. But how much better is steak? Or salmon?

Coldplay taster like mashers and pinto beans to me. Maybe with a lot of salt and pepper, but still. That's all I'm saying.

No wait! Come back! I was actually enjoying our little skirmish over semantics!

So you're saying the hatas criticizing Coldplay for being bland actually like Coldplay, but can't admit it?

I think as many times as this is the case, there is someone on the other side who won't admit Coldplay's obvious faults because they don't want to be put in the kneejerk indielitist camp (it's so played!).

Well, Jeez, sure, when you put it like that it is. You don't just bust into a room and say, "turn this shit off!" Instead you make recommendations, and hope for the best.

really? i'm sure i've done that at least once

i did this once when i was playing pool and somebody in my club started listening to elton john. now i feel bad.

Instead you make recommendations, and hope for the best.

i dunno, i think that's horribly patronizing. if coldplay make them happy, who are we to say 'yes but you COULD be listening to THIS REALLY HIP THING!' i figure if someone comes up to you and says 'i like coldplay. what else should i listen to?', then feel free to throw stacks of records at them screaming band names at the top of your lungs. otherwise, let them be.

It's what critics do, and it's not patronizing at all. I'm not talking about conversations. I'm talking about writing. The critic takes on the role of one who helps people, with an informed opinion, decide what to like. It's a valid and important job.

I've got this question and my answer was Wedding Present. Coldplay often (especially w/ "Yellow") strike me as a lobotomized Weddoes, and I find the Weddoes themselves border on the dull, sentimental and routine.

Sure, but again, what's our web community here? We're talking about all sorts of bands with no public profile all the time (and we've certainly talked about Embrace before). Just because Coldplay has one now doesn't automatically mean that all judgments on it are applied because of that context. I hated them from the first time I heard them a couple of years back; time and fame change nothing.

I must remind you, James, that you don't like this band either. Why are you talking about them?

I'm also feeling a little unspoken resentment because some of us are *too* informed. A little rock-geek backlash. Happened on the Norah Jones thread, too. "Oh, leave her alone! So she's not perfect. So what? You geeks!"

To which I say, that's hardly the point. Yes, we slag on the popular in part because they are popular, but not in the way you think. It's not *just* because they're popular. It's not like we hate everything popular automatically./ The problem is that their popularity is not based on what we percieve as anything approaching real quality. So a lot of people are listening to them, but they could just as easily and far more healthily be listening to something better.

but i do like - fuck it, love - tons of pleasant, catchy and accessible music from the carpenters to the zombies to the beatles

Usually Virgin Radio plays a workaday, colourless gruel of Turin Brakes, Stereophonics, Oasis, Coldplay. The reason people hate Coldplay is because in a landscape of grey men, they remain the greyest and most wearily obvious of all. If radiohead is the sound of the flu, Coldplay are the sound of a bit of a headcold, with a lot of snot, as you hear in his ugly, glottalising voice. The fact that they keep making music just shows some people will do anything to make a buck.

there's a big difference between a critic suggesting records to his or her readership because they might like them, and slamming on coldplay because people should be listening to other, more 'important' things. i agree with JBR on this.

on the other hand, if said reviewer (or ILX poster) thinks that Coldplay are boring twaddle, i don't think it's safe to assume that the *only* reason is that they're 'smooth'; Massive Attack's "Better Things" could be described as 'smooth' if 'smooth' means 'mostly inoffensive, soothing, chilled-out'. i much prefer Massive Attack to Coldplay, though, because Coldplay actively annoy me: their music seems to lack any kind of personality, and is therefore unpleasant to listen to.

certain easy listening music might have been critically reexamined, and being easy on the ears is not a negative in and of itself, but that's not going to change the fact that Coldplay are distinctly irritating to me when ingested in almost any dosage size.

I have to admit that I do like "Clocks" though - it's a non-surf surf song.

"questions of - now class what is this word - sci - yes very good - ence - marvellous! science!"

"science - good good you've picked that one up - and - oh here's another new word - pro - excellent excellent - gress - oh well DONE"

So as hooky as they are there's always an oh-god-GET-ON-WITH-IT response I have.

The other thing is that the whole 'feel' of their music - the chiming guitars and pianos, the stately rhythms, Martin's high pure voice - I find really distancing and abstract, like there's a marbled effect on everything, a discreet English Heritage rope saying 'do not approach'. A band like Clearlake - who are kind of 'the Coldplay I like' for me - are equally lugubrious (ridiculously so, almost) and often quite abstract but there's something in the slouchy tone and grubby music which makes you feel they're abstracting feelings rather than making an abstract of feelings, so to speak.

(I do like "In My Place" though, I love the way he sings "underprepared", it sounds unforced and conversational)

(A passing Isabel says: "I've seen a picture of him with Gwyneth Paltrow when he was smiling. And they're certainly smiling when they get their awards. So why can't they put that smile into one single note of their music?")

well, its why i couldn't work up any hate when this thread was started up last night.

Dr. C has a good point - more jokes pls Mr Martin.

I think the whole thing lends itself to a kind of "this is good but THAT that souless stuff has never affirmed my life in its life". I suppose faux-intellectual would be the word but maybe a bit strong, Coldplay are currently the most popular "this is smart music ok? ok?" band and thus the most annoying. I find the music itself pretty wet which is obviously the springboard for my annoyance. I agree with what Tom says about the delivery too.

i think yeh the main problem is Coldplay can't seem to make happy songs...but i'm sure if they did they would be even more slagged off, at least 'The Scientist' is ALMOST happy

Doves are not a 'happy' band either, but they seem to annoy a lot less people despite being even more miserable than Coldplay and Radiohead combined most of the time....perhaps its because people KNOW they are at least capable of making euphoric feelgood music (as Sub Sub) so they let them off?

haha i'm sorry, that sounds quite patronising

i suppose i should be glad Doves dont get put on that pedestal like Coldplay do because it would probably ruin them...i suppose its a combination of them being that little bit more miserable and that fair bit more complicated (thus 'unaccessible' to mainstream?)

I worry this would be the case. But then I worry about loving Doves so much, yet join in with the strain of coldplay hate on view in this thread. They are lumped in with that crowd. and i don't like that.

"Worry" is an overstatement.

going back to the jungle are we?

Dan my apologies for using pure as an adjective and not in its highly technical singing jargon sense. CM seems to me to be going for a kind of wounded-choirboy sound.

Julio - if you're troll-hunting, it's never me. I don't troll.

We're covering some shit bands here, aren't we? Elbow, Embrace, Doves..... oh dear.

well he's not a troll really so i wasn't 'troll-hunting'.

and yes, this is an indie so most of the bands are bound to be terrible.

COLD PLAY:
Fuck Radiohead! No pretty boys hiding behind sampled music here. Cold Play got it right. Like I said: 'The truth is a hard message to hear!" With instant classics such as "Sparks" and the pro-oriental anthem "Yellow", Cold Play is well on their way. As for England, who's past musical contributions - excluding U2 - have been marginal at best, my hat's off to you. Famous for good shoes and bad teeth, England has redeemed itself with Cold Play. God Bless The Queen.

I don't know if that makes sense.

I've grit my teeth throughout this thread melissa.

a lot of sense.

Coldplay are bloody awful, by the way.

Interesting side-note, if the music was more enthusiastic his art-school-girl-baiting lyrics wouldn't bother as much. Interpol's don't.

The only song I genuinely like is "Yellow." Strongest melody, pretty backdrop and in a SPIN interview Shifty Shellshock noted that all of his friends think it's about a VD.

Though the main reason I don't hate these guys yet (aside from luckily not being inundated with their work by a peer/co-worker/TV) is that so far they're still talking about their dicks. If they start talking about America or Freedom or something...sheeeit.

A vision I wish I didn't have to entertain.

They're really fucking bland and boring.

I hope some one else hasn't already said that.
Ok, I'll put that Helltime touch on it.

What Coldplay needs to do is fire the guitarist and hire Greg Ginn of Black Flag fame, and then fire the singer and hire FEAR's Lee VIng, and then get Ving Rhames to play drums, and get Happy Tom from Turbonegro to play bass, and then to nothing but play 2-hour versions of "Sympathy For The Devil", Zappa's "Jewish Princess", and "Raining BLood" by Slayer.

Coldplay is a very far cry from either of those achievements, but I'd like to see people bring out some other, more convincing epithets.

I dunno. Both strike me as contextually (if not intrinsically, depending on what you think about language) judgmental.

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2250&item=2511388674&rd=1

My friend used to go out with the girl that inspired "Yellow" and apparently, whilst Mr Martin is apparently a genuinely loveable chap, he is also a Conservative voter.

But does that confuse the issue by conflating their quality with their function? I think they are 'competent'.

I like Coldplay, it is bland.

Read them and all that is wrong, pointless, vague in motivation and mitheringly middle-class in attitude will come flooding to you. Rock bands with lyrics this piss-weak and non-commital, this close to containing all the unique insight of yer average episode of 'Cold Feet' really are clogging up the universe with yet more shit shit shit.

And that's all there is to it.

-- Neil Kulkarni (kul...), February 27th, 2003.

YES!
I really like that riff on "In My Place", fo sho. Sorra.
PS: They´re playing here in Mexico in two days ($80 a pop). Shawk!

Coldplay chief Chris Martin has told The Daily Star that he's got a country album just waiting to get out of him.

"Country is a very sleeping beast within us," said the singer. "We have two things we're not allowed to do - country and rap - just because of where we're from. So I think they'll rear their heads at some point in the future."

Rap? Straight up: Martin continued by saying, "I think the only future for music is if you bring together the most disparate worlds. That would be an album between Garth Brooks, Coldplay and Kanye West and produced by Timbaland."

Reckon he bought the Judgement Night soundtrack as a nipper?

"Look, I don't mind Coldplay," she continues, getting increasingly animated. "And I know that style of singing is very modern. But it's a bit wimpy and as soon as one person's done it, they're all fuckin' at it. They're trying to sound like Jeff Buckley, but his voice is outstanding and nobody can be compared to that feller."

- Charlotte Church.

They're just SHIT.

I thank you.

I'm a fan of progressive rock mainly, and the only thing I fear when I hear "fix you" on the radio is that its titanic awfulness will actuall make me cry!!

Most Coldplay fans are already very much aware of Radiohead. Most Coldplay fans love "The Bends" and "OK Computer", and are also aware of "Kid A", which we do not love.

Coldplay are Great.

two minor niggles:

1. their music makes me want to blow chunks

2. everytime i see/hear/read an interview i usually want to punch the guy.

other than that one of my all-time favourite bands

Chunks? Is this Chris and Gwynnie's pet Schnauzer?

ha ha ha

threads like this are what make the internet so great. i've never been able to quite rationalise why i can't stand them. very few people i ever meet in real life hold that opinion and fair play to 'em. if i judged everyone on their musical taste i'd hate 90% of people (because my taste in music is so infinitely superior obv). Nonetheless reading so many people grapple here with trying to articulate Coldplay's effect on them makes me feel like less of a freak than usual. thanks guys.

The guy is a fricking multi-millionaire married to a Hollywood actress with a cute kid. Don't come at me with that "No one ever said it would be so hard" crap, you already have it all, I don't believe a word of it.

or, like, that one track off the last nelly album.

I hate R&B, I'm not at all a fan of rap, I don't listen much dance and never listen any metal. But still think Coldplay are just shit.

keep it real

keep it real

What Do You Call It When Arabic Terrorist Drive A Plane Into Some Wood?
PINE ELEVEN. LOL.

cutting edge

I'm actually looking forward to the new album. Brian Eno doing some keyboards or whatnot and King Creosote's producer doing the editing and shit.

funny, I thought Coldplay were the ones doing the shit...

I hope not so much.

Let's just hope that their songs are capable of movement and changing and developing this time round.

please tell me, cause they must somehow be tricking me with their strong melodies and memorable hooks into thinking that they write strongly melodic memorably hook-filled pop songs.
-- Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 27 February 2003 18:23 (4 years ago) Link

^^^CHALLENING OPINIONS of old ilx

Let's just hope that their songs are capable of movement and changing and developing this time round.

This is more true with their last disc, isn't it? I mean, Clocks and God Put A Smile . . . , while hardly great songs, did have dynamics and movement, I thought (more true for Clocks, actually).

Anyway, there's nothing inherently wrong with Coldplay. Their songs are sometimes flat and limp, and they have a self-satisfied feel that bugs me. Also, the lead singer saying that he's written a song for their next album "that everyone should hear before they die" is a bit much (Sting actually said basically the same thing before releasing "Every Breath You Take").

I'd say Clocks was a prime example of a song NOT changing; it maintains a steady tempo and repeats its melody. That's its effectiveness - Ronan points pout above that its trancey. I think they've always been structurally simplistic to the point of being retarded - from Yellow and Trouble onwards, their songs have been very, very linear - verse, chorus, verse, chorus - often repeating lyrics wholesale. Fix You is one of the only examples of a song they've written with a noticeable change in it, when the drums drop in, but even then it doesn't actually change volume or tempo really. I think the consistency of their songs (and I mean each individual song sounding the same from start to finish) is why they've become so popular; cos it works on radio and on tele.

I guess I'm thinking of what I recall as that swirling bridge section of Clocks. But maybe it's a senior moment (I AM 40 TODAY, SADLY). I'll go back and listen again.

I've not heard it in ages so I may be wrong. Happy birthday, btw.

Thanks!

Let's just hope that their songs are capable of movement and changing and developing this time round.

Their songs need not change, as they have found the perfect songwriting formula and should stick to that forever. Using a little more synths to back up those wonderful verse-chorus-based songs wouldn't matter though.

and hip hop beatz, thats right geir!

what's so bad about coldplay?

Your guess is as good as mine.

lol @ my "all Coldplay songs sound the same" confusion upthread

So is Geir like, this odd character who chimes in every once in a while to champion the sanitized and unremarkable? And so passionately! I can't wrap my head around the little fella, he's really quite amazing.

Sorry Geir if I'm being offensive at all, I don't mean it in such a way. You and I have very, very different taste, to the point that I'm actually perplexed.

But keeping on topic, I do passively enjoy one or two Coldplay songs. Mostly, though, they're a bit like dry humping.

We all went through the introductory "perplexed by Geir" stage.

In short, likes 'melodic pop', isn't bothered at all by the lyrical content.

Gotcha. Thanks.

I don't dislike Coldplay nearly as much as I logically should. Don't Panic is their best song. They should do more weary-sounding, understated stuff like that.

I think part of the reason for my tolerance of the band is that their arrangments are more interesting than most bands of their ilk, tending as they do towards the crisply minimal. I'm not saying they're Autechre or anything, their stuff is just a lot more tastefully done than Keane, say.

It's not Coldplay so much as the Coldplay fan that gets me. And not Geir's ilk who are totally aware of the formula and so on, but the cockeyed wackos who are convinced they're pioneering geniuses. I've met these zombies and they make me itch.

I think part of the reason for my tolerance of the band is that their arrangments are more interesting than most bands of their ilk, tending as they do towards the crisply minimal. I'm not saying they're Autechre or anything, their stuff is just a lot more tastefully done than Keane, say.

I would say the opposite. Particularly the last album ended up with a bit too much of the same U2-like wall of sound, while Keane are spicing their songs up with some nice synth themes and effects here and there.
Most of all, both write excellent songs, which is the most important thing.

Who the fuck claims Coldplay are pioneering geniuses? I mean, sure I think they write good songs, but they have never ever in the slightest been groundbreaking in any possible way. Not that music needs to be groundbreaking either.
Chris Martin is a songwriting genius though. As in composition (I am not claiming he is a fantastic lyricist, but again that's not important)

What's so bad about cosplay?

"If feels like a very dense record. There are so many melodies and colours packed into a relatively short space (42 mins). As you would expect with Brian Eno, there's experimentation and exploration. But the music still has integrity. It's real and honest. There's no posturing or bombast."

http://www.coldplaying.com/page.php?file=/html/discography/4thalbum.htm

GIS for "codplay" surprisingly innocuous

The question isn't "what's so bad about Coldplay", the question is: "What's So Good about Coldplay?"

And the answer is: Simply Not Enough!

geir said fuck!!!!!

anyone hear any of these songs:

"The fourth studio album by English indie rock band Doves is currently in production and is expected to be released sometime in 2008. The band entered the studio on 19 May 2007 to begin the recording of the new album and have revealed that they will be working with a "legendary" producer.[1] Three tracks have been announced on the band's official website so far: "Winter Hill", "10.03" and "Disco Eyam"."

i never even bought the last doves album. some fan i am. if i see it cheap i should get it. was it any good?

I hear the occasional Coldplay song and like it. A whole Cd of the stuff puts me to sleep.

Who the fuck claims Coldplay are pioneering geniuses?
Some friends of a friend praise them like this, and also I overheard this once at work (really odd grocery shopping conversations, eh? They were serious as far as I could tell). Thankfully that's not some strange consensus floating around.

I'm looking forward to the new album as well. I checked out their myspace page a few weeks back and was delighted with the live version of "One I Love" there, one of my fave things by them. I've since gone back and dug out my b-sides for the Rush Of Blood singles and I still like them quite a bit. I wish they'd return to that kind of quality.

Unfortunately though, I heard that song where they ripped off Kraftwerk twice in stores recently and it absolutely makes me want to vomit. They truly ruined my fave Kraftwerk song and I don't give a damn if KW gave them permission or not.

Anyone who thinks Coldplay are pioneering geniuses probably buys less than 4 CD's worth of music a year, if that.

And nobody thinks the 'songwriting' genius tag is just as absurd as the 'pioneering' one?

To me, genius is just as much about craft as it is about art. You don't need to break new ground to be a genius, you just have to compose really great melodies that stick in people's heads and make lots of people happy.

I think the songwriting genius tag is absurd.

Let's leave the word "genius" out of this, shall we? It really doesn't apply here.

Anyone who thinks Coldplay are pioneering geniuses probably buys less than 4 CD's worth of music a year, if that.
Accurate.

To me, genius is just as much about craft as it is about art. You don't need to break new ground to be a genius, you just have to compose really great melodies that stick in people's heads and make lots of people happy.
Oh .... you do think they're geniuses...oh...

Sickmouth & NYAlex otm.

Geniuses, yes. Pioneering, geniuses no. Not that pioneering is needed either.

Don't Panic is their best song

it's their only good song!

I am afraid Coldplay lost me at the very beginning. I just hated yellow, detested it, even. The beginning goes DER DER DER DER DER DER DER DER. I don't like songs that do that. A few weeks ago I saw the video and gasped in amazement at how this unremarkable man in his unremarkable cagoule walking along an unremarkable beach came to be such a major star.

I can't pinpoint what you are talking about without watching a youtube of yellow, but I like Dun Nuh Nuh Nuh Nuh Nuh Nuh Nuh songs because it's like a driving melody.

you just have to compose really great melodies that ... make lots of people happy.

WTF

I don't like Coldplay much. "Yellow" is half okay, but not my kinda thing. Nevertheless, it's obvious that they're very good at what they do. Which makes all this "genius" hairsplitting pointless. Thing that boggles my mind is the amount of attention they attract from people who supposedly don't care for them.

The beginning goes DER DER DER DER DER DER DER DER.

You are listening for the wrong things. Coldplay aren't about rhythm. They were never meant to be about rhythm. They are about other musical elements that are way more important than rhythm.

They are about other musical elements that are way more important than rhythm.

1. rapping
2. xenomania

Thing that boggles my mind is the amount of attention they attract from people who supposedly don't care for them.

Exactly. In the early 90s when rap and dance dominated, rap and dance fans couldn't care less about more traditional musical styles and what was going on there. But once verse-chorus based "white guys with guitars" got back into the mainstream it was amazing how it was SOOO important to rap or dance fans to hate them. It must have been about fear. Fear of proper music taking over the mainstream again, fear of actual musicians becoming more popular than DJs once more.

Coldplay aren't about rhythm. They were never meant to be about rhythm.

Melodies have rhythm, you know. Otherwise they'd be chords.

fear of actual musicians

Melodies have rhythm, you know. Otherwise they'd be chords.

This is a very good point.

the worrying thing is that all sounds are made up of vibrations, the same vibrations

I don't disagree. But they aren't mainly about it still.

http://www.hoofprints.com/images/whoa-sign.jpeg

Fear of proper music

http://www.hoofprints.com/images/whoa-sign.jpeg

guys there's like a 15-year precedent of Geir doing this schtick and nothing he's saying is a surprise

You are listening for the wrong things. Coldplay aren't about rhythm. They were never meant to be about rhythm. They are about other musical elements that are way more important than rhythm.

Interesting, because after "Yellow" I probably would've written off Coldplay altogether, but then they came out with this awesome song called "Clocks" where at least half the appeal is the propulsive 1-2-3-1-2-3-1-2 beat. If I ignored that, I probably wouldn't like Coldplay.

In 2005 I accidentally saw Coldplay on pills in Glastonbury. Which is to say, the plan was MDMA -> New Order -> more MDMA -> The Go! Team, but due to delays and mishaps, it turned into... all the yokes in one go -> the last 10 mins of New Order -> a lost 30 mins -> Coldplay. Said substance let my regular high-falutin' snooty guard down, and my thoughts at the time were a mixture of:

* "wow, the better songs from the first two albums are really good at what they do - those big, slow hooks are genetically engineered to be played in front of these huge festival crowds"
* "even on pills, I don't feel like dancing to Coldplay"
* "hang on, God Put A Smile and Everything's Not Lost are pretty good songs"
* "man, I wish they'd play Shiver"
* "man, I wish Jeff Buckley was here instead"
* "why is that man hopping up and down on one leg?"
* "what would happen if, like, Coldplay had sex with Funkadelic and they somehow had a band baby"
* "I love everything"

More tellingly, even in our messed up, everything is great state, we completely ignored a good 50% of the set and just talked amongst ourselves, as if the band weren't there at all. The footage from said gig is up at:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3935387732711613750

and in retrospect the performance seems quite a bit more anaemic than I remembered (apologies to sufferers of anaemia). In summary, I've seen better, I've seen worse, but I can't for the life of me figure out how such a band elicits such strong reactions (good and bad) in so many people.

Coldplay will make the first single from their new album available as a free download to fans who visit the English band's Web site.

"Violet Hill," the first single from Viva La Vida, will be available on http://www.coldplay.com from 7:15 a.m. EDT Tuesday, one week before it goes on sale at digital retailers. It will be available as a free download from the Web site for one week.

I wonder how many of the tunes on the new album will consist of a two-minute half-song played twice in a row to make it four minutes long?

For a second I misread the title of the first single as "Vince Hill" and that cheered me up immensely, if temporarily.

They sound like Radiohead.

every coldplay messageboard ever:

radiohead with tunes hyuk hyuk

Well, they have sounded like (90s) Radiohead since 2000 anyway.

hyuk hyuk

This is such a weak single. Wow. I mean, I am actually shocked at how weak it is - it is so plodding.

They've been on a downward spiral since Parachutes. They sound so much better when they are not trying to be wannabe rawkstahs. They are at their best when they are playing "Sparks," "Shiver," "Don't Panic," etc.

i can actually enjoy widescreen melodrama indie from time to time.
but this is pretty bad.
bet Guy H is sweating if this is the best they have to offer.

parachutes was a nice little album. suitably unambitious and very tuneful in places
the records that followed carried some ridiculous, pretentious stigma that rock n roll was being reinvented and that we were all witnessing the rise of an extremely important band. people were actually listening to those mediocre tracks and crying genius, when in fact from the sophomore release onwards, coldplay were suffering from a premature rut in the idea stakes

i kinda like the new song "violet hill"

i like songs with that stompy piano thing. reminds me of lennon solo.

anyway it's decent.

I couldn't believe the free download the band sent out of their new song was only good for 6 bloody hours. It took too long for them to send it anyway and then what with Time Zones/work/having a life...6 hours was not going to give me even half a chance to listen to that thing. Makes me wanna steal the album, it does. Though it's probably crap anyway. Fuck 'em.

i'm gonna assume he's yet again repeating the same formula. maybe when i accidentally hear it i'll be proven wrong, who knows.

The very first review is in! Coldplay's new album is EPIC . . . THE BIGGEST ALBUM OF THE DECADE.

Wow. Must be good.

Original idea:

"Lovers In Japan/Reign Of Love is a classic. Parts are slightly U2-esque and you could almost imagine BONO singing it."

I also like how parts of the review are in italics for no reason. It reminds me of a hilarious website about dinosaurs attacking Noah's Arc that I was perusing earlier today.

The clip of the single playing in the iTunes ad is good.

i'm gonna assume he's yet again repeating the same formula. maybe when i accidentally hear it i'll be proven wrong, who knows.

-- Charlie Howard, Wednesday, May 21, 2008 2:43 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

Actually new single kinda made me go "ok so they did U2 already, now they've moved on to blandifying Phil Collins." Mildly interesting just cause it's a slight departure for them, but obv not much of one.

They set out to make a musical equivalent of a work of art

lolol

haha i'd actually probably be more interested in hearing the band channel phil collins than the U2 ride they were on before.

Okay I paid for the Viva La Vida song on iTunes and I gotta say...I'm impressed. I'm actually impressed.

So is Eno really on this thing or what?

Imagining Bono singing and lots of religious lyrics? I hope they didn't tell Eno to do "The Joshua Tree" once more. Chris Martin is a better songwriter than Bono has ever been after all.

I heard that Violent Hill song. Forgot it a few seconds later. Haven't thought about it since.

I think you mean Violet Hill. But I like Violent Hill better.
Coldplay are obscenely flat and lifeless, they have NO soul, they are dead grass chomping lazy musicians who could be better but fuck effort they'd rather just sell millions upon millions of offensively bland rock music to confused masses who are like; 'but...I...don't get it?'.

One of the great things about Coldplay is that they are cool, calm and collected. Exaggerated emotions in music are never a good thing. Emotions should be kept in the melody and chords alone, and as little as possible in the performance.

Emotions should be kept in the melody and chords alone, and as little as possible in the performance.

Phooey.

Geir, explain again why you don't exclusively listen to baroque harpsichord music?

Too rhythmic.

coldplay, with king creosotes's producer. don't forget about him. not just eno.

I really like "Violet Hill," having just heard it for the first time. I like the way he sings "de-CEM-beh" / "re-MEM-beh."

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1593941/20080902/coldplay.jhtml

Coldplay will issue EP of Viva La Vida leftovers in December, new LP in 2009.

It (Viva La Vida) has become the best-selling rock record of 2008, cementing Coldplay's position as one of the world's biggest rock bands. To date, that record has sold more than 1.6 million units and remains one of the year's best sellers.

too bad it reeks more than the depths of the new york sewage system

still diggin' the title track

This fuckin' guy.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/coldplay-charlie-kirk-wembley-shoutout-chris-martin-b1247569.html

O_O

what a maroon