half man half biscuit: classic or dud

The HMHB singer shares his name with the big cheese in my company.....

and songs like 4 skinny indie kids and Evil Gazebo are so spot on in their obsevations on indie music.

HMHB are gigging too, in fact they're in London tonight, for some reason I'm not going. and they only play down here once a year, when it doesn't clash with Tranmere games, contrary gits.

Today I am dodging men in ill-advised summer shorts, so it's:

"Opinionated weather forecasters telling me it's going to be a miserable day. Miserable to who? I quite like a bit of drizzle, so stick to the facts."

eg.
Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves
Styx Gig (Seen By Mates Coming Out Of)
Sponsering the Moshpit
Song For Europe
Split Single With Happy Lounge Labelmates
Secret Gig
Children of Apocalyptic Techstep
Four Skinny Indie Kids
Joy Division Oven Gloves
Eno Collaboration
Bad Review
Used To Be In Evil Gazebo
Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal
With Goth On Our Side
On Finding The Studio Banjo (title only)

plus others.

am absolutely bingeing on these guys at the moment. it is such wonderful music, especially when you've just been rogered at football. just listening to album after album is a joy. "It's Clichéd To Be Cynical At Christmas" actually gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. one of the very, very finest christmas songs, surely.

new album, CSI: Ambleside, drops April 28

They've done a couple of songs live which will presumably be on CSI: Ambleside - I'll try to get these on my Half Man half Biscuit lyrics site as soon as I can decipher them.

Oh d'uh - I meant my My Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics site - apologies for my idiocy.

The Cornbury Festival this year features, on one day, on one stage, HMHB, Nick Lowe, and Toots and the Maytals. That's some impressive work.

http://bp3.blogger.com/_UDIt01-jiOk/R_pqvucV33I/AAAAAAAAAAU/P-dwlSnloo4/s1600/CSI%2BCover.bmp

So fucking stoked.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51%2BMb9GuIDL._SS500_.jpg

http://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/images/sleeves/Ambleside_inside2.jpg

This has made my fucking night.

Are they CAMRA men on t' cover

TS: HMHB's 'Blue Badge Abuser' vs Goldie Lookin Chain's 'Bad Boy Limp'

Straight up though this is pretty great so far

Anybody have any thoughts on the new album? I'm still waiting to get it.

My DiS review goes up tomorrow I think, I approve of it.

Better than Achtung Bono. Took problem chimp to Ideal Home Show is just plain weird - I'm trying to think what it reminds me of sounds-wise and I can't figure it out.

This is what I had to say: http://www.drownedinsound.com/release/view/13300

Pam Ayres - 'orses = lol

looking forward to hearing the new one- achtung bono was pretty good.

I liked 'Achtung Bono' better, but it's just after the first listening. 'National Shite Day' is a classic though.

RFI: micro-item in this week's NME about David Cameron and Jeremy Clarkson watching HMHB perform at the Cornbury Festival, whatever that is

Cornbury festival: ultimate Range Rover and picnic hamper festival, held in a country estate near the village where I grew up. God only knows what HMHB were doing playing there.

new material for "Paintball's Coming Home (Take Three)"

I've never heard of this band. I also thought I was in ILE and went, "oOH GOD NO WHO IS THIS POOR POOR MAN-BISCUIT", expecting to click and see another "tree man".

Whew. And now I get to check out a band I've never heard.

They're really good too!

Cornbury festival: ultimate Range Rover and picnic hamper festival, held in a country estate near the village where I grew up. God only knows what HMHB were doing playing there.

-- Neil S, Wednesday, 16 July 2008 17:07 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc16/Pee75/Image1.jpg

Yeah, that.

these AMG clips are pretty pleasing and "Used To Be In Evil Gazebo" is a pretty funny song title (providing that Evil Gazebo is another band I haven't heard of, otherwise I don't get it).

I've always wondered about this band. I always link them to Steel Pole Bath Tub and Terminal Cheesecake in terms of wacky band names.

National Shite Day = new favourite song

Complete and utter classic. Barely a day goes by when I don't inwardly chuckle at some HMHB lyric or other which has randomly popped into my head.

National Shite Day is clearly the best song on this album. I wouldn't mind if it had been twice as long as now.

"Petty Sessions" is my fave.

Evening of Swing, Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show and Lord Hereford's Knob all leading the way home for me.

It's still all about the chorus of Totnes Bickering Fair for me.

lol ok "Problem Chimp" is practically post-rock

;-)

"Is this your sanderling?"

OK, after several listens, and some reflection, I've decided that the second verse of "National Shite Day" (the tale of Stringy Bob) is the best 90 seconds of music that will be released this year. The pathos. The damaged tragicomic humanity.

The rest of the album's pretty fucking brilliant as well. They have this...infectious knack. Singalong. Fierce.

That was fun. They played all the songs I wanted to hear. And National Shite Day as the last song before the encore was fun. Joy Division Oven Gloves!

That was also 17 pounds I didn't feel like spending. Instead you can tell us all about it!

You're gonna have to deal with London gig prices some time! That's how much it costs!

I was sort of worried there'd be a load of twats shouting all the words to the songs but thankfully that was kept to a minimum.

And I saw Carsmile Steve.

Humph.

Did they play much stuff from Trouble Over Bridgwater? That's probably my favourite HMHB. I've been listening to it a lot recently. The woozy horn bit in "Gubba Look-a-Likes" gets me every time.

I don't think they did. At least I didn't recognise anything off that album.

Look Dad No Tunes made me very happy.

lol that's the penultimate track of TOB

It is? Fair enough. I just have the single!

They also played a very good version of Used to be in Evil Gazebo. The gig started off rather poorly - terrible sound and the group hadn't really warmed up. But about a third of the way through it started to click, the sound improved and the songs started sparkling.

A Country Practice was particularly good, as was the longest 24 Hour Garage People I've heard them do. A fantastically dull report, but I'm nursing a hangover.

Every gig I go to at the Forum starts off poorly and has terrible sound. It's almost as if the soundmen are completely incompetent or something. I was down towards the front and had to move because it sounded like shit where I was.

as was the longest 24 Hour Garage People I've heard them do.

― GamalielRatsey, Friday, 17 October 2008 10:04 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

How much were Pringles this time?

94p. Credit crunch evidently hasn't hit the Wirral peninsula. The person behind the toughened glass also pointed out Nigel that there was a long queue of people behind him, but Nigel was able to explain back that in fact they were all his friends and they were queuing up to buy fruit squares.

And did he really have a quip about Zandra Rhodes grumbling about something in Galatians?

Fruit Salads, and Black Jacks. I keep forgetting that the Forum's a bloody terrible venue, I got there quite late and tried to go to every bar before realising I should've stayed in the queue for the one by the door. It was really packed everywhere and I saw the gig from the back by the merch stall. And I've got a hangover too.

Also bad sound means it's difficult to decipher between song banter, although I did hear Nigel say 'of course these two (Neil and Ken) went down Denmark Street this afternoon.' Then he (possibly, xpost)said something about him and Carl going to see Zara Rhodes.

Bloke in pre-gig pub "Oh Half Man Half Biscuit? Are they still going? I liked that one, 'Fuck me, it's Fred Dibnah!'" Stop getting HMHB wrong.

Haha, bless

Fruit corners, not squares. They're those silly little yoghurt pot things aren't they?

Oh, maybe (I mean, yes, Fruit Corners are those Müller yoghurt things with some gloopy fruit in the corner). I couldn't really hear well (and my ears seem fucked this morning, but it didn't seem that loud). Also was going to say who goes to the garage to buy penny sweets (like Fruit Salads and Black Jacks), but then they come in those big bags for long journeys, so it's quite possible after all. Gawd this is turning into the comments page on that HMHB lyrics site.

It was fruit corners.

The cover was Electricity by OMD apparently.

half classic, half dud maybe?

why half dud?

Interviewing Brad Freidel on Football Focus, at the end the interviewer gives Brad some headphones, and asks him if knows the song.
And at a table nearby I heard a girl saying
To a tall balding guest
So you're Brad Friedel
I'm mildly impressed

from I went to a wedding. Motson later claimed to have never heard of HMHB. God help him if he suddenly has to say something about Tranmere or Dukla Prague.

Now look: What good's a blog when they be quoting lines from a song they're not offfering as a free download?

Ahem...

Our Alice is quite taken with "Paintball's coming home" (you know, "They got the whole world in their house ... to look at their conservatory") and was teaching it to the other kids on the flight back from Cyprus. I did tell her the 'other' version was much better, but as I can't find it, she is unmoved.

Anyway, who has the Andy Kershaw session version? The one with "Boxercise" and not the one with "Annie Lennox" ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex5WYA3pkUo

they made some real good friends
on henman hill

Latest live version has them giving an arm and a leg to be in the Top Gear audience.

Don't you just love songs that evolve!

http://www.joydivisionovengloves.com/

i bought this today, not realising it was a "save 6 music" facebook thing.

is there a facebook group i can join to hasten the demise of 6 music?

When I'm in the mood, an absolute classic.

Musically redundant but who needs to excel when you have lyrics like

"There’s a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets"

Still got it. And I live in a cul de sac so you weren't just passing

http://ichlugebullets.wordpress.com/2010/03/23/on-half-man-half-biscuit-joy-division-oven-gloves-and-the-save-6music-campaign/

Nicely put. And I haven't heard Epiphany before! Only have the first album and then 'Voyage...' onwards

From William, Chatteris, in the TMS inbox: "Alright Tom? Seems like it's all gone quiet on the correspondence front, but I have two things to type: a) most of us were laughing at whoever decided to seed Australia only 8th for this tournament, but so far they're living up to their billing with aplomb. b) where else apart from on commentary can you hear the word 'aplomb' being used?"

Right now, Australia vs Bangladesh BBC text commentary.

nice to see

"I wonder if Michael Clarke will turn to his left-arm occasionals"

Surely it MUST be National Shite Day.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00tc663/Marc_Riley_Half_Man_Half_Biscuit_11_8_10/

Three nice new songs AND a confession of love for Van Der Graaf Generator! What more could I ask for?

Riley's a bit of a twat and he doesn't ask good questions. "Would you see yourselves as a comedy band?" Fuck's sake.

Also completely not OK with Joy Division Oven Gloves being the HMHB song.

All on Spotify! (Apart from the DHSS albums)

Ah man, how's Nigel gonna incorporate Spotify into a lyric

The same way he incorporated Marks and Spencers?

Alice still loves a singalong to "Paintball's coming home"

... "and whadya know, it's got its own website"

Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral and Saucy Haulage Ballads aren't there - pity about the latter as I haven't heard all of it yet (lol Blood On The Quad etc)

and pity about the former because people are gonna be denied some of their best songs

My mistake, I took a quick look and assumed they were all there. Still, better than nothing.

haha I'm not complaining - for a start I haven't heard This Leaden Pall or Some Call It Godcore yet

So apparently Richard Littlejohn is a HMHB fan.

A friend of mine had his copy of the Eno Collaboration CD lost by a former co-worker. He's desperate to get it back, and he doesn't believe in mp3s or anything, so if anyone has a copy they'd be willing to sell he'd be grateful. Realise that's kind of against-the-rules but "Get Kramer" is his favourite song and it is a matter of some importance for him.

New album on the way, btw: http://www.amazon.co.uk/90-Bisodol-Crimond/dp/B005HNZOZG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1314871199&sr=8-2

this is really one for 'too much time on ILX' but I spent several actual minutes the other day trying to figure out how I could make a hybrid display name of that title and 'It's On (Dr. Dre) 187um Killa'

^^lol

I pre-ordered this from Probe Plus last night, after learning about Stuckists in a Simon Reynolds book.

pre-ordered immediately. put off listening to them for years because of 'comedy band' tag. a fingerprint of specifically English despair, and hope. think my favourite sound of theirs, apart from their love songs, is their anger - Thy Damnation Slumbereth Not, Evening of Swing (Has Been Cancelled). Endlessly appealing. Yes, also funny, but not in an oppressive way.

and you can sing along to it while driving!

Excellent Taylor Parkes HMHB essay on the Quietus:

http://thequietus.com/articles/07060-half-man-half-biscuit-90-bisodol-crimond

http://thespace.org/items/e0000b24

http://louderthanwar.com/mid-80s-half-man-half-biscuit-song-told-the-truth-about-jimmy-savile/#.UJjjRsh-lh4.twitter

1. Westward Ho! Massive Letdown
2. This One’s For Now
3. Baguette Dilemma For The Booker Prize Guy
4. My Outstretched Arms
5. The Bain Of Constance
6. Theme Tune For Something Or Other
7. False Grit
8. Old Age Killed My Teenage Bride
9. Urge For Offal
10. Stuck Up A Hornbeam
11. Adam Boyle Has Cast Lad Rock Aside
12. The Unfortunate Gwatkin
13. Mileage Chart

:D

so this is really, really good. Any other listeners?

i think it's their worst album possibly ever :(

first four tracks are great, rest falls off a cliff, last two sorta pull it back but too little too late

'my outstretched arms' is the keeper. we discussed this on the OPO-line thread

I need to listen to it a bit more, but "Old Age Killed my Teenage Bride" was the stand-out first time round.

2. This One’s For Now
4. My Outstretched Arms
9. Urge For Offal
11. Adam Boyle Has Cast Lad Rock Aside

^all these are solid performers but... there don't really seem to be many funny lines, nor darkness/trenchant social commentary with which to plug the void

^otm.

http://porteliotfestival.com/whats-on/

imagine all of these sung consecutively in the voice of nigel blackwell to the sound of robust folk-rock

M. CRAFT YOGA SEVERED LIMB WORDS

(cheers tt for the heads-up)

Worth reading

http://www.bigissue.com/features/6652/half-man-half-biscuit-and-a-very-british-odyssey

that's brilliant stuff, wow

there's a guy in the comments is who is not so impressed

I remember when the crowd were just regular folk. Football lads and the like. I've no time for these characters dressing up and writing every little incident down. King of Hi Vis, you could of saved yourself seven years study and a pile of cash by aquring the reflective coat on your first day of work and to this clown geoff " Get back on the railway platforms where you really belong " If the Big Issue want another slant on what it was like watching the band in the days of Fuji caps coming back from germany 88 then root out Brian Sheddy. Great band with shite fans

I saw them live once, around 10 years ago, in Liverpool. I remember the audience as being almost entirely male, quite blokey, mostly mid 30s to late 40s and that I looked quite out of place as a floppy haired student.

just discovered 'fear my wraith'

new one

https://d1wtzzt4oxg683.cloudfront.net/images/covers/large/66/170066.jpg

• Alehouse Futsal
• Man of Constant Sorrow (With A Garage In Constant Use)
• Knobheads on Quiz Shows
• Bladderwrack Allowance
• Renfield’s Afoot
• Terminus
• The Announcement
• What Made Colombia Famous
• Harsh Times in Umberstone Covert
• Every Time a Bell Rings
• Emergency Locksmith
• Mod Diff V Diff Hard Severe
• Swerving the Checkatrade

hahahaha so he HAS addressed Tranmere's non-league purgatory

This has done wonders for my mood. A shame to see Ken left though, hope his health improves.

Was wondering 'have they mellowed?' - then got to Knobheads On Quiz Shows. They have not :D

hmm, it is the best track by miles though

bell + maybe terminus also good

is it just me or have the last 2 HMHB albums been a bit of disappointment? "CSI Ambleside" was great

yeah they've lost much of the magic. they're trying fewer risks and all the songs really do sound the same now, a kind of hard-rock whinge predominating

thought urge a bit disappointing but 90 bisodol is front to back their best

I didn't think Urge To Offal was that good either. 90 Bisodol was OK, CSI: Ambleside a classic of our times.

90 Bisodol is great, Urge was where they fell off. CSI obviously amazing

bono > csi > 90 bisodol is maybe the greatest three album run

Inspirational album title though. Too many hubs in my life

Every album from maybe Godcore, certainly Voyage -> Bisodol is an unparalleled run tbh

I cant remember any songs from Bisodol except for "Tommy Walsh's Eco house" and "Excavating Rita"

"Trouble Over Bridgewater" and "Cammell Laird Social Club" were career highpoints imo

Trouble Over Bridgwater is the high mark among high marks imo

You'll get nothing like The Ballad Of Climie Fisher or Gubba Look-a-Likes on the new album, is all I'll say

Maybe this is a concept album about becoming a crotchety old git?

an anti-cocaine song strikes me as a little gauche by their standards

no legit lols yet

some of the songs on the first half sound like fairly standard chuggy early 90s Amerindie

I'll prob grow to like it

it has grown on me slightly - certainly better than Offal

it IS a concept album about becoming a crotchety old git - but I think deliberately

i couldn't get with Offal at all, but although this is pretty underwhelming compared to the album you've all been entirely correctly listing here, i've been enjoying it. moderately. the chugging is hard to avoid. Harsh Times in Umberstone Covert is a favourite i think. quite touching.

Geraldine [continuing a good line in touching HMHB women's names)

...don't be so self-conscious.
what became of the carefree you?
the one that would whistle to
throbbing gristle through
harsh times in Umberstone covert,
scoffing at the notion of a shoulder to cry on,
the very thought of a rock to rely on.
astonishing therefore to look at you now,
bitter with the gall,
reaching for the mainland (?).
i will mend you,
and i will tend to you,
take it as read,
with a needle and thread,
when you are falling apart at the seams,
i will make at that stitch in time."

and i must admit dad laughs at

[i]sour-faced, she picked up the gherkins,
saw christ in Dorothy Perkins,
oh geraldine we were so laissez-faire,
every other day was a non-sequitur:
hadron collider,
who's there?
knock knock.

the initial riff for every time a bell rings is v attractive as well, and again, though it doesn't quite hit the mark - i mean stuff like 'artisan gossip' brings its own embarrassment (the gaucheness DJ Mencap was talking about) - it's hard to argue with 'get your hedge cut, get your fucking hedge cut, stop meeting friends and cut your hedge'.

i mean in these pied times, i'll take what i'm given. almost wondering about going back to Offal, so to speak.

lol i was reading Barthes while listening to this on the tube, and felt this was very Nigel Blackwell:

but, underneath this discourse whose argument and whose approach I just presented, it seems to me that today i hear, in fleeting moments, another music.

have come around to the first 10 tracks of this album tbh - it's less funny or varied than previous albums but it has an elegiac heft

should end with 'every time a bell rings' though - the last three tracks are entirely superfluous, rising to irritating

a better HMHB song than anything theyve released in the last few years imo (ok it doesnt sound like them really but the lyrics express a similar suburban disdain)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_tGKd3egWI

That is closer to The Pre-New's vibe tbh - you must hear their two albums if you haven't

ooh featuring ex-members of Earl Brutus

The Pre New is good. I never saw Earl Brutus but did catch the Pre New at a festival about 8 years ago

Just discovered 'National Shite Day', truly a work whose time has come.

//////////////shawty got poll poll poll poll poll poll poll (part I: 2008 TRAX)\\\\\\\

this actually happened :)

back when it was 25 points for a #1, etc etc

anyway, pour one out for Stringy Bob

Great stuff, probably only time HMHB has featured on an ILM poll. If Coldwar Steve isn't a fan I'd be amazed.

The Doors/Floyd advert is icing on the cake for me.

the Stringy Bob verse is probably my pick for best verse of lyrics since the turn of the millennium tbh, it is literature

embrace the margin

Btw I'm from the US but I lived in Liverpool for 7 years -- some of it good, some of it bad, but it was probably worth it to be able to understand HMHB lyrics about northwest UK television broadcasting.

Good interview

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-em8_hueZI

Kinda weird to turn on Sky News the other morning and hear Sky's business presenter, Ian King, bantering away with Kay Burley about his favourite band, Half Man Half Biscuit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIl_NDp-U0M

new album 'the voltarol years' feb 18th

Was recently thinking they're due

on a fairly drunk listen this seems like the best for a while.

omg it's out!!!!

me Tarzan, you June

okay this hasn't been prime material, but In A Suffolk Ditch is righting that

a CARDIACS SHOUTOUT wtf :D

“cowslips and celandine” is lovely

second half of this album has been absolutely top-tier, weirdly a very backloaded record imo

the last two tracks are amazing

nigel leaning hard into the 'lovely' at times here, extremely elegiac and beautiful yes

On second thoughts, this really is all prime stuff. He's getting so good at character studies

What's an 'onion batch'?

a type of bread

As seen on Taskmaster

https://i.imgur.com/vkCo9bG.jpeg

new one out

not their best, went back to The Voltarol Years afterwards and christ it's monumental isn't it

new one has Rawlplugs of Yesteryear at least

"Voltarol Years" was great especially after a couple of mid albums.

"Oh, I do like to re-release me B-sides..."

I was just about to post about that track! Its a standout

this is excellent wtf lj

Falmouth Electrics and No One Likes a Polymath are both exceptional imv. not sure how long exactly Falmouth Electrics will last as a track but by god it made me laugh.

midway through my first listen, seems like the strongest in a while. thought voltarol a bit hit and miss despite having a few all timers.

almost certainly the worst cover art they have ever put out

I mean, imo Voltarol is one of the greatest British albums of all time at this point

well as long as we can agree hmhb would be on such a list

more than once

Imago, HMHB POX please?

Albums or songs?

Preferably kneejerk because I have a four-hour train ride in several hours and I don't do streaming, I have to put actual mp3s and such on a walkman

Songs!

Dagnabbit that was fast!

Oh right lol

the one i heard on the radio rhymed treadle (table) with (beth) tweddle.

quite enamoured with that one, the bliss of the hereafter

like idk.

Fear My Wraith
Dead Men Don't Need Season Tickets
A Country Practice
Ballad Of Climie Fisher
Gubba Look-a-likes
Them's The Vagaries
Took Problem Chimp To Ideal Home Show
National Shite Day
Excavating Rita
Slipping The Escort

didn't think about this hard enough

As with Willy Shakespeare, the tragedies are better

(okay, that's a gross generalisation lol and also not quite true in either case)

(but as with Shakespeare, plenty to laugh at in the tragedies too!)

Cheers imago, I really put you on the spot there. Looking forward to hearing those ten through headphones as I stare out at the Humid Lands

Do HMHB do romances? 'cause those are my favorite Shakespeare of all

Three of the above are romances of various sorts

them's the vagaries might be the best song ever recorded

Do your POX devvvine!

I started mine off by doing an OPO from each album but then started doing multiples and honestly I might have to sub in Grafting Haddock In The George for Dead Men...

*each IMPERIAL ERA album

(era largely ongoing)

as an American I'm still not convinced this is an actual band and not just a Dom Passantino bit.

Which begs the question: is there a US equivalent to HMHB?

I'm not even sure there's a UK equivalent unless you're counting Sleaford Mods

absolutely not

regarding S Mods

closest equivalent is Horace or something idk

actually Horace was a bit posh

hmm

John Clare?

Do your POX devvvine!

― imago, Tuesday, 17 June 2025 16:52 (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

maybe this, done without thinking too much

oblong of dreams
tommy walshs eco house
this one's for now
somethings rotten in the back of iceland
them's the vagaries
bad losers on yahoo chess
soft verges
floreat inertia
monmore, hare's running
national shite day

90 bisodol would be my pick for best front to back record

i think the closest usa comparison would be like pissed jeans and you'd still be nowhere close

I'll try a POX

Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off
A Country Practice
National Shite Day
The Light at the End of the Tunnel (Is the Light of an Oncoming Train)
It's Clichéd to be Cynical at Christmas
Depressed Beyond Tablets
Excavating Rita
Awkward Sean
Them's The Vagaries
Faithlift

Them's the Vagaries and National Shite Day, three for three.

Imago, playlist is made & loaded. I'll report back.

ah Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off should have made my 10.

There's people who can't spell 'weird' right
Driving round with thousands in the bank
But I get by, got a lot on my mind
I get by, got allotments on my mind

Air circulation in the train sucks and I kept falling into miserably uncomfortable sleep for twenty seconds at a time. So listening conditions were not as nice as I imagined. But that was certainly innaresting.

Sting singing on the roof of the Barbican indeed!

You're a dead man, Fisher!