worst lyricists of all time?

Bob Dylan
Lou Reed
Leonard Cohen

Whoever else is considered a good lyricist.

Okay, now we can move on to the real ones.

The chick from the Rose Chronicles was pretty terrible.

Weirdo

The other day I came across
Someone I knew and he was lost
I don't care what we have done,
You never will believe it
It's is a life that's made for me
Where I can be completely free
So long as I obey this sound
That echoes all around
Just like the ocean or the sea,
Just like the blood that burns in me
Someone like you cannot be free
Just like a lock without a key
Just like the ocean or the sea,
Just like the blood that burns in me

Someone like you cannot be free
Just like a lock without a key

Just like the ocean or the sea,
Just like the blood that burns in me
Someone like you cannot be free
Just like a lock without a key
Just like the ocean or the sea,
Just like the blood that burns in me
Someone like you cannot be free
Just like a lock without a key

"So," I thought "this cannot be
There's someone else in here with me"
I don't care where we have been,
You never will believe it
I know you and you know me
And we're as happy as we can be
I know where this world belongs,
It don't mean much to me
Just like the ocean or the sea,
Just like the blood that burns in me
Someone like you cannot be free
Just like a lock without a key

Pretending not to see his gun
I said: "Let's go out and have some fun"

Kind of terrible, kind of brilliant.

I always thought it was pretty brilliant myself. It just is.

But what about:

Oh I've just come
From the land of the sun
From a war that must be won
In the name of truth

But the glory of NO was never held in the lyrics anyway. Bernie couldn't even sing yet they managed to pull it off.

Like I say, I love New Order but their lyrics never held up to analysis, even if their clunkiness was actually their strength. Fuck, does that even make any sense?

Ech. You might be onto something, Nick.

That's from the new LP. Couple it with the dreariest of dreary mortgage-rock you can imagine.

I honestly didn't know that they were still making records.

"Your heart is like a dagger
My night is on the fire
Lets come together tonight
Lets come" x1000

I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone

Wayne Hussey is far worse, because most Mission songs don't make any sense at all. They're just a collection of unrelated goth cliches sat next to each other.

Any lyricist who starts a song with the line "I feel so extraordinary"...well, they're ok by me.

flowersdie re. Mission songs: "They're just a collection of unrelated goth cliches sat next to each other.".... isn't that the Mission themselves, though, just a bunch of sad old goth cliches?

And the Madonna album - 'Mother and Father', while it's one of the album's standout tracks, has abominable lyrics.

"Creep" by Stone Temple Pilots (lyrics by Scott Weiland)

Forward yesterday
Makes me wanna stay
What they said was real
Makes me wanna steal
Livin' under house
Guess I'm livin' I'm a mouse
All's I gots is time
Got no meaning just a rhyme

Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Guess I like to steal

I'm half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It turns to gray
I'm half the man I used to be
This feeling as the dawn
It turns to gray

Feelin' uninspired
Think I'll start a fire
Everybody run
Bobby's got a gun
Think you're kinda neat
Then she tells me I'm a creep
Friends don't mean a thing
Guess I'll leave it up to me

and anyway, i'm just shocked no one's brought up that favourite Des'ree line from a few years back rhyming "ghost" with "toast"...;)

Mumbo jumbo, listen to the whispers of madness
We have climbed mountains of dust
We have seen gold gather rust
Hocus pocus the stampede of my heart
We have sailed on stars through the air
We have flown on the wings of a prayer
Into the blue, only with you
Into the blue, only with you, into the blue

Gasoline rainbows swimming in the puddles in the street
Whichever way the wind blows we've got the whole damn
World crawling at our feet
Laughing canyons and everglades
Candle flames and razor blades
Dancing through the poppyfields, hand in hand we cascade
Into the blue, only with you
Into the blue, only with you, into the blue

There's a singing dwarf on the streets of New York
There's a shuffling man with plastic on his head
There's a preacher woman crying in the traffic
Crying for the living crying for the dead
The waste of it all, the waste of it all
And there's more at stake than we could ever know
'Cos when we're together we always fall
Into the blue, only with you
Into the blue, only with you, into the blue

Gavin's a good one too. Though you really need the sight of him shirtless and serious for the lyrics to really catch fire with hilarity.

That didn't work, since that was in fact Wayne Hussey, who I trashed up top of the thread. ;-)

Anyway, you are arguing the virtues of Justin vs. No Doubt = you people are both insane.

"I feel so low, I feel so humble / Sometimes in life we take a tumble"

(beautiful Miccio!)

Since when have I NOT made it clear I am not a No Doubt fan and never have been?

And yes, that Urkel soul tag is a winner. :-)

re: "Face Up" indeed. i swear, i think that might be the single line that ever made me cringe most coming out of Barney's mouth. although i adore that song. but yes, the price of Barney Sumner is that he isn't consistent. i'd agree, i wouldn't have it any other way---but i also think that's why he can't really be considered a top contender for this thread. he's written some bad lyrics in his time, but he's not consistently bad. :)

if you want some of the worst lyrics in the English language for a song ever, i beg you all to look no further than a song by L'Arc en Ciel, a Japanese rock band who unfortunately broke up fairly recently. often cited amongst myself and my friends for how unbelievably awful it is, here are lyrics to "Good Morning HIDE." no, this isn't a translation---this is how it was recorded. there is no Japanese-language version. bear this in mind.

of course, this can't really qualify---usually their lyrics aren't too bad, so despite how amusingly awful these lyrics are, L'Arc don't qualify because again, not consistently awful.

that and despite these lyrics being this bad, they had to try to write in a language they obviously aren't overly comfortable with to get this bad. there are several artists (some of whom have been mentioned here) whose first language is English who couldn't write lyrics half this good. ;)

I see a ship in the harbour
I can and shall obey

There's an element of double bluff about it, the drama of the music, the drama of Barney standing in Ian's shoes, the slick sleeves, the thin reedy sound of his voice, his silly cuteness, his faux-Germanic manner, the Manchester accent... Brilliant.

Every second counts
When I am with you
I think you are a pig
You should be in a zoo

(Every Second Counts)

Or my personal favourite, 'Your Silent Face':

A thought that never changes
Remains a stupid lie
It's never been quite the same
No hearing or breathing
No movement, no colors Just silence
The rise and fall of shame
A search that shall remain
We asked you what you'd seen
You said you didn't care

Sound formed in a vacuum
May seem a waste of time
It's always been just the same
No hearing or breathing
No movement no lyrics
Just nothing
The sign that leads the way
The path we can not take
You've caught me at a bad time
So why don't you piss off

That mixture of the portentous and the trivial is super good, and only Tricky does it better / worse.

I'm gonna live 'til I die
I'm gonna live to get high

if you're going with Bad Barney, i still think nothing can possibly top "Times Change." horrid lyrics and a really awful attempt at rapping. a winning combination every time!

In a manger like Christ I lay
Yellow fever, yellow hay
Feel the rhythm, sweetest sound
Making, breaking sacred ground
I'd give you a piece of my love for free
But whatever I say you'll never see
Acquire a taste for a different sound
Make or break it this side of town

i'll go with the graphic design argument, though. sometimes it's more about the sound of things than it necessarily is about the lyrical content. if the vocal is viewed as instrument rather than as mere textual conveyance, it's quite possible. in this manner, i also do appreciate the distinctive qualities of his voice that don't necessarily make him a great singer, but which do make him a pretty great vocalist.

...Tricky! yes. "Hell Is Round The Corner" immediately springs to mind as a particularly good illustration of both elements of his writing as well.

As Momus notes further, this is crucial. Bernard didn't become the lyricist or the singer except by tragic accident combined afterwards with the belief that the remaining members could go ahead and do it themselves (and since everyone got a shot at singing on the first album, he turned out to be the best of the bunch, though arguably his performance on "Ceremony" essentially meant it was going to be him anyway...).

http://www.purelyrics.com/index.php?album_detail=700

my best friend got an A at GCSE English by submitting an identical transcript of "Self Esteem" as a ballad he'd written himself. Sadly the teacher found out but she was surprisingly good-humoured about it.

The rooms were so much colder then.

My father was a soldier then.

And times were very hard.

When I was young.

When I was young.

My faith was so much stronger then.

I believed in fellow men.

And I was so much older then.

When I was young.

--Morcheeba

sting has produced some utter rubbish being a big fan of the way, today, say utter shitefest.

Not Steve or Gillian.

I see a ship in the harbour
I can and shall obey

is brilliant, because when spoken (sung) aloud, those last two words sound like "shallow bay", which suggest a ship that's run aground. Which the big ghost vessel Joy Division so definitely did.

But, yeah, I agree with most everything written about Barney Sumner in this thread. It's un-PC, but the old term "idiot savant" probably applies. The clash of cynicism and guilelessness dictated by such a gravity sink of a past almost necessitated (in hindsight) such stupid genius lyrics.

(x-post, Dr.C: Gillian does background-talk on one of the songs on Movement -- "Doubts Even Here", and I even heard that Steven had a better singing voice than anyone else, but couldn't sing and drum at the same time)

Steve sings on a couple of tracks on the Western Works demos, which is around as a bootleg, although v.dodgy quality. He also sang onstage at the very first New Order live gigs in the USA. I think there's a recording around of them doing 'In A Lonely Place' with a drum machine and Steve singing.

As for the Gill - I was told, by someone that knows these things, that in fact it's Martha Tilson (ex-ACR singstress) who is speaking at the start of Doubts Even Here.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00009MKQ1/ref=sr_aps_music_1_1/026-7956688-1580430

It has the EP he did with The Sound too.

Only time will tell
If we stand the test of time

There's mosquitoes on the river
Fish are rising up like birds
It's been hot for seven weeks now
Too hot to even speak now
Did you hear what I just heard?

Say, it might have been a fiddle
Or it could have been the wind
But there seems to be a beat now
I can feel it in my feet now
Listen here it comes again

There's a band out on the highway
They're high-stepping into town
It's a rainbow full of sound
It's fireworks, calliopes and clowns
Everybody's dancing

Come on children, come on children
Come on clap your hands

Sun went down in honey
And the moon came up in wine
You know stars were spinning dizzy
Lord the band kept us so busy
We forgot about the time

They're a band beyond description
Like Jehovah's favorite choir
People joining hand in hand
While the music plays the band
Lord they're setting us on fire

Crazy rooster crowing midnight
Balls of lightning roll along
Old men sing about their dreams
Women laugh and children scream
And the band keeps playing on

Keep on dancing through to daylight
Greet the morning air with song
No one's noticed but the band's all packed and gone
Was it ever here at all?
But they kept on dancing

Come on children, come on children
Come on clap your hands

Well the cool breeze came on Tuesday
And the corn's a bumper crop
And the fields are full of dancing
Full of singing and romancing
The music never stopped

Also, the Britpop band Space had some real head smackers.

DOLORES O'RIORDAN OF THE CRANBERRIES.

You've caught me at a bad time
So why don't you piss off

oh, and I vote Dean Wareham. For that one track about buying twinkies, if nothing else.

i mean, come on...you've never felt like saying that to someone? in such a flat, dispassionate, slightly disgusted and sneering tone of voice?

...maybe it's just me. XD

"not that su-i-ci-dal after all/at all/at all/at all/at all"

I'm just browsing through the lyrics on the worldinmotion site (http://www.worldinmotion.net), and it's making me cringe.

Where am I? And where can I begin?
This I'll try, the shining path of sin.

I'm just a man riding high.
When I'm alone then I'll cry.

Kiss the chrome, why am I alone?

I hear of the things that you'll do
Like a little piece of hell and baby it's true

btw, the Bernie Taupin cited above, doesn't it just mean losing everything (whatever that means) is like the end of it all? curtains? etc? Sunset is just a metaphor for the end, innit?

"as the day breaks over our caravan/and you lie beside me like a lamb"

which is a bit poor i think.

"remember, remember the fifth of november/the sky it up/and so did we"

i forget the track, but i think it was on their 1st album. their lyrics were generally not very good as well, though not as bad as that!

"Run away from all your boredom
Run away from all your whoredom"

"Confiscate
Razor blade
Confiscate
Hey
Marilyn
It kinda went like this
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stop
Stop stammering
I uh
I uh
I
I
Stop"

"Any means in your horizon
Every mink walks two by two
We gamble to be born again
You know I never wanted to
With expert levitation forward
Polished to the nth degree
It takes it's smile from every children
You take the beating"

"My hearts a tart, your body's rent"

"Her next of kin who lived in sin
Was asking God to let her in"

"Coming up beyond belief
On this coronary thief
More than just a leitmotif
More chaotic, no relief
I'll describe the way I feel
Weeping wounds that never heal
Can the savior be for real?
Or are you just my seventh seal?"

"I wrote this novel just for Mom
For all the Mommy things she's done
For all the times she showed me wrong
For all the times she sang God's song
And I say thank you Mom
Hello Mom
Thank you Mom
Hi Mom"

And, to end, my favourite:

"I read a book about Uncle Tom
Where whitey bastard made a bomb
But now Ebonics rule our song
Those motherfuckers got it wrong
And I ask
Who is uncle Tom?
Who is uncle Tom?
Who is uncle Tom?
You are"

The other albums are okay, though, or at least the guitars are up loud enough that it doesn't matter.

That said, Dom 0\/\/|\|Z this thread, after that molka-thon. that last excerpt - ugh, god!! (skin crawls)

[flashback to first roommate at university who just HAD to set his TV to wake him up on MTV. That vid and the stupid Offspring one will be forever burned into my head]

...i'm sorry, what were we discussing again?

Ernest, this Revenge lyric you cited is more than just bad. It it magnificently bad.

Hold on Jim - have you actually HEARD K.Hewick?

All the people under broken homes
Dont wanna fight no more
All the people nursing shattered bones
Dont wanna fight no more
But theres no profit in peace
So we've gotta fight some more

And all these who are in foreign lands
Dont wanna fight no more
And all those those lost their feet or hands
Dont wanna fight no more
But there's no profit in peace boys
We gotta fight some more

Hey we dont fight no more
Hey, Hey, Hey, We dont wanna fight no more
But theres no profit in peace
So we gotta fight some more

And all those just trying toplay their part
Dont wanna fight no more
And all those who own a human heart
Dont wanna fight no more
But there's no profit in what you want
So we must fight some more

And all those who got an axe to grind down
Dont wanna fight no more
And all those who got their burning lives
Dont wanna fight no more
But theres no profit in ever being right
So we must fight some more

Chorus

And all the people under broken homes
Dont wanna fight no more
All the people nursing shattered bones
Dont wanna fight no more
But there is profit in the land you own
So we must fight some more

And all those who got a tired face
Dont wanna fight no more
And all those who are lost without a trace
Dont wanna fight no more
But there is profit in the love of hate
So we must fight some more

Hardcore, you know the score
Rhymes so good they deserve an encore
All about the style we bring
We make you laugh like when you was a child again
Smooth, that's how I roll
I got so much soul when I step into the party
I wanna move somebody
I wanna move somebody

We're the masters of the ceremony
What does it take to be a garage MC
Personality
Originality
On a microphone they got to be

Capital U N the K N O I get down
Represents south London town
Pied Piper's on the decks
Rock the discoteque I'm back and it set

This one's for the heads out there
Party people can ya hear me clear
If you like it let me see your hands in the air
If you don't, y'all get the hell out of here

Bass is kickin', drums is drummin'
When you hear dididi I'm comin'
Shark P represents the west of London
DT, Piper, Melody and Unknown

We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like this
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like that
DT, Melody, Sharky P, Unknown to make you rock
Sing we come to sing
And dance 'til we drop

Do you really like it, do you really like it
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like this
Do you really like it, is it, is it wicked
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like that

Do you really like it, do you really like it
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like this
Do you really like it, is it, is it wicked
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like that

How you like my, how you like my
How you like me
Style, style, style

On your marks get set let's go
Five four three two one zero
Get on down and do the limbo
Here we go, here we go, here we go, bo
Down with the one and two
My selector you know the coup
Gonna get down with the original vibe
Pied Piper gonna make you high to the sky

Jump, don't ever stop
With a little bit of this, little bit of that
Jump, don't ever stop
With a little bit of this, little bit of that
Little bit of fun
Little bit of joke
Little bit of gin
Little bit of smoke
Jump, on the ones and twos
Let's go, let's go

Do you really like it, do you really like it
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like this
Do you really like it, is it, is it wicked
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like that

Oh, how you like my, how you like my
How you like my style
Oh, how you like my, how you like my
How you like my style
For the summertime crew, c'mon (ooh ooh)

and i'd say with Brian Molko, as horrid and cringeworthy as some of his lyrics are, at least some are amusing. i'd second the argument that he's inconsistent at best, although his worst moments are really far beyond almost anything else.

OCS i can't even consider because their very existence pains me that much. *shudders* eewwwwww, i still feel dirty from having seen them live. *plunges headlong into bucket of lye and attacks self with wire scrub-brush*

i'd forgot entirely about Dolores O'Riordan, but i think she may be in the top three, if not at the very top. i can't think of a single lyric of hers i've ever heard that hasn't been horrid...

Had to crawl through my vinyl last night to find this out - it was "A Factory Quartet" (fac 24); which also featured The Durutti Column, Blurt and The Royal Family & The Poor; if anyone else is remotely interested.

Anything off Duran Duran's "Seven And The Ragged Tiger":

The Reflex

"You've gone too far this time"
But I'm dancing on the valentine
I tell you somebody's fooling around
With my chances on the dangerline
I'll cross that bridge when I find it
Another day to make my stand
High time is no time for deciding
If I should find a helping hand

So why don't you use it?
Try not to bruise it
Buy time don't lose it
The reflex is an only child he's waiting in the park
The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre
Every little thing the reflex does leaves you answered with a question mark

I'm on a ride and I want to get off
But they won't slow down the roundabout
I sold the Renoir and the TV set
Don't want to be around when this gets out

So why don't you use it?
Try not to bruise it
Buy time don't lose it
The reflex is an only child he's waiting in the park
The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre
Every little thing the reflex does leaves you answered with a question mark

Oh the reflex what a game he's hiding all the cards
The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre
Evey little thing the reflex does leaves you answered with a question mark

New moon on monday

Shake up the picture the lizard mixture
With your dance on the eventide
You got me coming up with answers
All of which I deny
I said it again
Could I please rephrase it
Maybe I can catch a ride
I couldn't really put it much plainer
But I'll wait till you decide
Send me your warning siren
As if I could ever hide
Last time La Luna

I light my torch and wave it for the
New moon on Monday
And a firedance through the night
I stayed the cold day with a lonely satellite

Breaking away with the best of both worlds
A smile that you can't disguise
Every minute I keep finding
Clues that you leave behind
Save me from these reminders
As if I'd forget tonight
This time La Luna

I light my torch and wave it for the
New moon on Monday
And a firedance through the night
I stayed the cold day with a lonely satellite

Union of the Snake

Telegram force and ready
I knew this was a big mistake
There's a fine line drawing
My senses together
And I think it's about to break

If I listen close I can hear them singers
Voices in your body coming through on the radio
The Union of the Snake is on the climb
Moving up it's gonna race it's gonna break
Through the borderline

Nightshades on a warning
Give me strength at least give me a light
Give me anything even sympathy
There's a chance you could be right

The Union of the Snake is on the climb
It's gonna race it's gonna break
Gonna move up to the borderline

I think the lyrics on that N.E.R.D. album were pretty laughable.

From PritStik 1987:

I hate chess pieces/Because I keep standing on them.

Quoted from memory, the worst lyrics I ever heard, in the sense that they had the most poisonous effect on me every time I heard them, were both the themes from adverts.

Oh yeah I wanna fly
Into the sky
So very high
Like a dragonfly

and

It ain't no joke
I'd like to buy the world a toke
And teach the world to sing something something
And teach the world to snuff the fires and the liars

Jesus fucking Christ, my blood is rising just to think about it.

BUT!

A groom for Dolores O'Riordan: Mr Bruce Foxton. Now some of the earlier Weller lyrics don't exactly rank with the best ("Whatever happened to the Great Empire? / You bastards have turned it into manure...bring forth the six pigs, we wanna see them swing so high" - which I always took as ref. to the Birmingham 6, although I'm probably wrong...in this way, he thought he was being like The Clash). But Bruce is in a world of his own. Seemingly driven by a (poss. embarrassed, poss. virginal) refusal to consider a love lyric yet entirely ignorant of any important issues, he resorted to anguished protests about traffic levels in London, the iniquities of capital punishment (which had been abolished in the UK more than a decade previously), businessmen on trains who are "just like sardines", and how you shouldn't believe everything you read in the papers. This is his greatest achievement -

CARNABY STREET

Take a look at the great street
It don't seem the same
Remember how great it should be

Shops are full of fashion
People told what they want
The street that was a part of the
British Monarchy
British Monarchy

Who wants cafgans (kaftans? - Ed) and all that
We don't need them now
Why should we accept the change
And buy clothes of today

Kids repel the change and
Bring back the street
Shops filled by whole nations
Carnaby Street
Carnaby Street

The street is a mirror
For our country
Reflects the rise and fall
Of our nation

The street that was a legend
Is a mockery
A part of the British tradition
Gone down the drain

You don't need no glass ball
To see it's faults
Take a walk along that street
And you'll see what I mean

Carnaby Street
Carnaby Street
(not what it used to be)
Carnaby Street
(not what it used to be)

I haven't seen that one on the Poetry on the Way series yet, but there have been a few good ones (and a few godawful ones) - there's one I've seen a few times that I'm absolutely in love with but I never have a pen/memory with me.

I wouldn't know this, but I accidently saw them at the Guinness Fleadh in Chicago a few years ago. I was pained.

<<"I know y'all be lovin this shit right here/I'm not even creative enough to come up with a rhyme for 'right here' other than 'right here'">>

my words exactly

"I Just ShotJohn Lennon"

It was the fearful night of December 8th.

He was returning home from the studio late.

He had perseptively known that it wouldn't be nice.

Because in 1980, he paid the price.

John Lennon died. [X6]

With a Smith & Wesson 38,

John Lennon's life was no longer a debate.

He should have stayed at home,

He should have never cared,

And the man who took his life declared,

He said I just shot John Lennon.

He said I just shot John Lennon.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

Ah, ah ah ah, ah...

I just shot John Lennon.

He said I just shot John Lennon.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

Ah, ah ah ah, ah..."

gets you right here (*clasps hand to chest*), doesn't it?

Or something like that...

"There's a hole in the sky.
Don't ask me why.
Because I don't know."

reviving this thread in the interest of accumulating nominations for a poll. of the people mentioned on this thread, i'm especially drawn to bernie taupin, dolores o'riordan and jim morrison. to which i'd add brad nowell (yes, i was defending sublime on the singles thread, but i admit there's a strong case for his inclusion here) and ezra koenig (i assume he's culpable for the vampire weekend lyrics). who are the other key contenders? i want maybe 20 (with examples!) so we can settle this with a DEFINITIVE ILM POLL.

and in my mind, to be really terrible, you have to have some combination of poetic ambition and abysmal execution. being high-profile, and maybe even revered for your lyrics by fans, helps. oh, and on that ground i would add: neil peart.

Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon.

all i know is, barney sumner's horrible, horrible cliches/lyrics read terribly but sound great in context, somehow.

and taupin's written enough good lyrics to get a pass for his misses.

unfortunately i can't think of any worse lyricists to deflect attention from those two at the moment

Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon. Kim Gordon.

I think Thurston is actually worse, these days at least.

Actually, I always preferred Kim's songs.

did i already say the guy from bush on here? gavin? he's the worst ever. just jaw-droppingly bad. like he went to a random grunge/nu-metal lyric generator for every song. he should win an award.

I think I'd read a Sumner interview where he said the lyrics were always the last part of the track, worked out quickly after everything else was in place. I don't get the feeling Sonic Youth work hard on their lyrics either. At least they've never made or destroyed a SY song for me.

Ctrl-F is telling me that no-one's mentioned the word "Corgan" yet on this thread. So, him.

taupin is weird. some super-super dud stuff but also some greatness, and some stuff that should be super-dud but turns out to be great in context (e.g. "holiday inn," "rotten peaches," shit, prolly half of madman really)

nowell's a for-real contender

also: carabba, durst... blue october dude maybe too small time to bother with but what he lacks in profile he makes up for in awful

carabba

i'd say emo boys don't count, cuz they'd just run away with this and not make it any fun

new order lyrics have never bothered me. maybe because they suit the sort of deliberately anonymous aesthetic of the band. i don't get the sense that you're supposed to notice the words, except in a general atmospheric sense.

sort of surprised the other sumner isn't mentioned yet on this thread...

Perhaps not worst, but surely meritorious of a Duran Duran Lyrical Redundancy Award:

Sir Paul for "But in this ever changing world in which we live in"
John Mellencamp for "I cannot forget from where it is I come from"

Oooh, I also need to nominate Annie Lennox. Those last couple of solo albums were lexicons of clunkers, along the lines of this gem from her Eurythmics days:
"And if you ever had any kind of love for me/you kept it all so well hid"

sheeeeit but that johnny melon song's all bout how he's from a small town. he don't need no book larnin.

Isn't it actually "But in this ever changing world in which we're livin'?"

song lyrics should take no longer to compose than your average ILM post...

I grew up near that there small town what Johnny Cougar was a-singin' 'bout. He's a regular vox populi.

I'm sorry, but Ocean Colour Scene own this thread.

but it doesn't really matter when the judgements are said
'cos we all take our chances to find out romance is in some others bed
and you might burn your fingers hock your best rings for those
who'd have you standing naked then publicly auction the use of a hose

Anthony Keidis
Whoever wrote lyrics to Living Colour songs
Simon LeBon (or whoever wrote lyrics to Duran Duran songs)
Neil Diamond
Jewel

Here's the worst Jewel lyric:

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be, we're all okay
And not to worry
'Cause worry is wasteful and useless
In times like these

I won't be made useless
Won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
and I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
But it didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
and I am never broken

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters

I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
and I am never broken

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
and I am never broken
We are never broken

We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands

I mean, is someone trying to take her hands?

I don't know where all my hostility towards sublime is coming from, but they really belong here (see the March 26, 1992 poll thread for proof).

Simon LeBon (or whoever wrote lyrics to Duran Duran songs)

NO. This song, for ex., is like JG Ballard level greatness:

Out on the tar plains, the glides are moving
All looking for a new place to drive
You sit beside me so newly charming
Sweating dewdrops glisten freshing your side

And the sun drips down bedding heavy behind
The front of your dress - all shadowy lined
And the droning engine throbs in time
With your beating heart

Way down the lane away, living for another day
The aphids swarm up in the drifting haze
Swim seagull in the sky towards that hollow western isle
My envied lady holds you fast in her gaze

(chorus) (chorus)

Sing blue silver

And watching lovers part, I feel you smiling
What glass splinters lie so deep in your mind
To tear out from your eyes, with a thought to stiffen brooding lies
And I'll only watch you leave me further behind

(chorus) (chorus)

Sing blue silver
Sing, sing.. blue silver

(theres more to this kind of camouflage)
(more than just colour and shape)
(whos going now, in to a classiomatic? )

blue october dude

― butt-rock miyagi (rogermexico.), Wednesday, May 6, 2009 12:19 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

seconded.

i'm seeing a major lack of chris martin in this thread. easy target?

Isn't it actually "But in this ever changing world in which we're livin'?"

I've decided it's "But if this ever changing world in which we're livin' / Makes you give in and cry." So there's one less excuse to make fun of Paul.

All the other excuses are still valid.

look, it's bush, okay? beat this!

the mind is all we kiss everything
we say we love it's the skin we're in
you're a retrograde a vacancy
you're the one that I love
the hate in me
lazy day on a darker breed
to have is not what it's made to be
you come alone on a mass attack
sucking your tantric suck
fooling your one-eyed cat

we don't mind

we deviate our gravy brains
set em on fire they're all the same
I am lionface
no sanchko panza
I'm riddled by you
I could've been better

I'm a monkey on a drip
sucker monkey on a drip

you take such pretty photos
when will you be worthy of your good side
where will you be
when the clouds break
and it all takes
just a little more than you have
we don't mind

living in a cage washing in a bird bath :: sinking in a fish bowl on a broken farm :: i try to never lie i really do :: i wonder if my friends :: will get me through :: conscious of the way as best as we can :: 17 ways to kill a man :: states we've been through

killing nostalgia for future swims :: trash all your bridges :: kill the rock and roll thing :: i want to move on with no complaints

building our walls with yesterday :: might as well shine before you slide :: might as well live before you die :: states we've been through

a whole lot more of emptiness

living in a state of constant changing :: a river of flux for our tasting :: i try to never lie i really do :: i wonder if my friends :: will get me through :: it always seems to rain when you leave :: i try to stem the flow as we bleed :: states we've been through

i memorise the basics strange faces :: tread slowly for i know :: there's a thousand miles to go :: without blinking gravitate spacewards :: find a home for the head from my basement :: no darkness ever left

this is the night this is the sound :: here comes the warm machine :: such a warm machine

some days are playful making play faces :: but we will not let it through :: the darkness and the sense :: of being bored to lose

this is the life this is the ground here :: comes the warm machine such a war machine

if we never know we can only feel i'll take :: the help i'll take a slide warm alright now :: cos i feel alright i memorise the basics

this is the night this is the sound here comes the warm machine

crucified
for eternal sins
re-invent myself
shape my alter skin

try to break the mold
severed hold
first you find your threshold bevels
breathing out your toxic levels

long slow rope is hangin
now we know what's comin

oh superman
where have you gone
with a little more time
and a six leaf clover
just a little more head
to make you bolder
just a little more sound

been playing tricks you know
she got sucked so dry

we destroy ourselves
to rise again
open up yourself
like a jesus son

only way out is through
way past you
first you get to human levels
run right through your bullshit pedals

long slow rope is hanging
now we know what's coming

oh superman
where have you gone
with a little more time
and a six leaf clover
just a little more head
to make you bolder
just a little more sound
just a little more sound

been playing tricks you know
he got sucked so dry and you oughta know how to lose

long slow rope is hanging

oh superman
what have you done

with a little more time
and a six leaf clover
just a little more head
to make you bolder
just a little more sound
just a little more sound

it's EVERY song. that's what's so astounding. every single song is a nonsensical mishmash. it's a wonder, really.

This thread's been going on for six years, and I'm the first person to mention the godawful horror that is Alanis Morissette?

How ’bout getting off of these antibiotics
How ’bout stopping eating when I’m full up
How ’bout them transparent dangling carrots
How ’bout that ever elusive kudo

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

Seabound are German, so this is probably a bit unfair to be picking on their bog-horrible 17 year old emo lyrics, but still

She was attracted to trouble
Angel at risk
I met her in the summer
She was cheerful
Outgoing, I guess
She was hurt when she was little
At heart she remained a child
She talked too loud in public
But she tasted like candy
Orange-cream candy

Uh.. yes. OK.

Also, the Crash Test Dummies blow everyone else in this thread away (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/crashtestdummies/keepalidonthings.html)

Sting has been mentioned already, but he deserves another mention.

In Europe and America, there's a growing feeling of hysteria
Conditioned to respond to all the threats
In the rhetorical speeches of the Soviets
Mr. Khrushchev said we will bury you
I don't subscribe to this point of view
It'd be such an ignorant thing to do
If the Russians love their children too

How can I save my little boy from Oppenheimer's deadly toy
There is no monopoly of common sense
On either side of the political fence
We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Russians love their children too

There is no historical precedent
To put the words in the mouth of the president
There's no such thing as a winnable war
It's a lie we don't believe anymore
Mr. Reagan says we will protect you
I don't subscribe to this point of view
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Russians love their children too

We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology
What might save us me and you
Is if the Russians love their children too

I'd like to refute the Corgan nomination, which I really can't believe I'm doing. But, as much crap as he has penned over the years (particularly in the last 8 or 9 years), there really are some lyrical gems in his catalog.